Out of Place
by JC of the Corn
Summary: So when messing with a dust experiment, RWBY and JNPR are transported to Earth, only to encounter an eccentric, occassionally drunk fanfiction writer. What will happen? Will the writer retain his sanity? Self insert, Drunken fic OC/Winter I don't own RWBY. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. Cover by Kegi Springfield. HIATUS
1. Weiss done goofed

**So this was just something I came up with, not very original, but what the heck. I wanted to do this at least once.**

 **And some of the facts I list here about myself...some of them are true.**

 **I'm not sure if I will turn this into an actual fic or not. Considering I was drunk again.**

* * *

 **RWBY AND JNPR**

"Are you guys sure we are doing this right?" Ruby said as they were doing a team dust project.

"I'm Certain this is how its supposed to be." Weiss said as she was an expert on dust.

She didn't even realize that she had added a little too much of a sample of white dust to the mixture.

"So what is this stuff supposed to do?" Jaune asked as he couldn't actually figure out what they were doing.

"It's supposed to be a high grade explosive." Pyrrha said as he looked back at her.

"And we are messing with this in class because?" He said as Nora spoke up.

"Because the author needed something to move the plot along!" She said as everyone just looked at her.

"She ate too much sugar at breakfast again." Ren said trying to justify her behavior.

"I ONLY HAD A COUPLE OF BOTTLES OF SYRUP!" She said as she didn't have a problem.

"Anyways, just one little sample left and we should be good to go..." Weiss said as she added a bit more.

 _ **BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!**_

An explosion rang throughout the classroom, the entire place was suddenly covered in a thick fog. With Teams JNPR and RWBY right in the middle of it.

"DANG IT WEISS!" Yang yelled out as she was coughing up flem.

"I SWEAR I HAD IT RIGHT!" She said as she was coughing back.

"I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!" Nora yelled as she didn't know what to do.

"Can someone please try and clear this?!" Ren yelled out.

"Weiss can't you use a glyph to blow this out of the way!" Ruby said as Weiss nodded.

"Just give me a second! It's hard to focus with all this dust around!" She said as she started to concentrate.

Thank god she could use her semblance without her weapon.

"And here we go!" She said as her glyph created a great gust of wind.

"Ah there we go! Now lets apologize to...Goodwitch..." Ruby said as everyone looked around.

"Uh, where are we?" Jaune said as they were not in the classroom anymore.

Instead they were in some sort of small living room with a couch and a TV.

"That's a good question." Weiss said as she was embarrassed that she messed up the project.

 _"TEAM RWBY! JNPR!"_ They looked up at the ceiling.

"Professor goodwitch?!" They yelled as she was looking at them through a portal on the ceiling.

 _"OF ALL THE REPREHENSIBLE, IDIOTIC, DANGEROUS THINGS YOU COULD HAVE DONE! YOU CREATE A NEW DUST MIXTURE!"_ She yelled as Weiss spoke up.

"Uhm, actually I just added a bit too much dust to the project." Weiss said looking away.

 _"Either way! It seems like you somehow have transported yourself to another part of Remnant! It could take us forever to track you down! You're lucky there is still a sample of dust here we can replicate to understand what you did. Until then, stay put until we find you!"_ She said as the portal closed.

"Well...crap..." Nora said as this was not good.

"We're in some stranger's house, man this is not going to look good if they think we're trespassing." Jaune said as everyone looked around.

"Doesn't look like anyone's home..." Pyrrha said as she looked out the window.

"Guys...I think we may have really screwd up this time..." She said as they all went over to the window.

Instead of the familiar cites of Remnant, all they saw as far as the eye could see was...Corn.

Corn. Corn. CORN. CORN!

Nothing but Corn!

"Where the heck did you blast us to Weiss?!" Blake yelled as she was not liking this.

"Well, looks like we may have been blasted to the countryside..." She said as she can't believe she made a teleportation dust.

"Why is there so much corn?" Ruby asked as she looked over it all.

"I don't know, but at least there are a few buildings here and there." Ren said as he stuck his head outside.

"And we appear to be in some sort of community." He said as he came back inside.

"Hey look at this!" Nora said as she held up a sword.

"Apparently the owner likes to collect swords!" She said as she held up a cavalry saber.

"NORA! Is it really appropriate to go through people's stuff?!" Pyrrha said as Nora paused.

"Nope! But it's okay, we'll just get out of here before they come back!" She said as she picked up a tomahawk.

While the two teams knew better. They had to admit. Nora had a point. What was the harm in looking around just a little bit. Besides, the owner seemed to keep a lot of this stuff within reach, apparently they didn't have any kids. Nora and Ruby were now geeking out at the weapon collection. They found axes, swords, tomahawks, knives, a bow and arrow, and some other weird weapons.

Ren had found a kettle and decided to boil some water for tea, luckily whoever was here seemed to have an avid supply of Green Tea of all kinds. He figured a nice relaxing cup of tea would be nice after what just happened. Besides, surely the owner wouldn't mind one tea bag going missing? So he set about to making tea.

Blake in the meantime had found a book shelf in one of the rooms and was looking over the titles of books. Some which she had never heard of.

 _"Rise of Theodore Roosevelt...1776...The fighting tomahawk guide...The Way of the fight...Saga of the icelanders...oh what is this one?"_ She thought as she found a book hiding under the others.

 _"The Viking and the shinobi: A love across two worlds."_ She read the title to herself as she opened it up. **(1)**

She needed something to hold her off since she didn't have her copy of Ninjas of love on her.

Yang found some basic workout equipment, which literally was a pair of dumbbells and a barbell with a few weight plates. So not much to look at. She did however find a selection of movies that interested her.

 _"Hmm...Warrior? A movie about two brothers fighting in a MMA tournament? Sounds awesome! But why have I never heard of this til now?"_ She said as she was surprised that she had only just heard of this movie.

Especially since she was always on the lookout for fighting movies.

Weiss was trying to find some music to listen to. But some of the selections were indeed odd.

 _"What the heck are disney songs? Bagpipes? Mozart? Willie Nelson? Does this person not have anything I know?"_ She said as she had been used to fancy hoity toity music.

She decided to just listen to Mozart, that sounded fancy.

Jane and Pyrrha decided to read a book they found on the table labeled 'The Iliad.'

"Hey Pyrrha, is it just me, or does this Achilles guy seemed to remind you of yourself? Only you're a lot nicer, and this guy is kind of a jerk." He said as Pyrrha responded.

"He's still an interesting character, I hope there are more books about him." She said as she felt strange connection to this character.

"Hey Jaune! Check this out!" Blake said as she threw a book at him.

"The trial of Jeanne d'arc? What the? That sounds a lot like my name." He said as he decided to take a closer look.

"What the heck is this place?" Blake said as she was finding a lot of stuff that was unfamiliar to her.

She found a flag with stars and stripes on it. As well as another flag that seemed to be made up of Stars and Bars, except it was in a glass case like it was a history display or something. She also found some strange statues of bearded men with swords and armor. In a way, they reminded her a bit of Nora. She had no idea why.

"Apparently they like booze..." Yang said as she found bottles upon bottles of Mead, Whiskey, More Mead, something called Guinness, and even more Mead. Geez, either they party a lot, or they just really liked the taste of alcohol.

"Seriously? Does Uncle Qrow even have this much?" Ruby said as she saw the bottle upon bottle.

"I think they may have a problem." Blake said as she was enamored in the book she was reading.

Such a powerful, powerful beast of a man ravaging the delicate but deadly frame of this kunoichi, it was BREATHTAKING.

 _"OH I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE!"_ They heard a man singing very drunkily.

"Well...that answers that question." Weiss said as they heard a doorknob turning.

"Wait! Crap we aren't supposed to be in here!" Nora said as she suddenly remembered why they were there.

"We got to-" Yang was cut off as they saw a man enter the fray.

He had a shaved head and a red beard that was a bit scraggly with a shaved neck area. He was fairly small, he was only about as tall as Yang. And while had some semblance of muscle. He looked to be fairly slim. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt with a picture of crescent rose on it.

"Hey how did he get a shirt with crescent r-" Ruby said as the man froze as he saw them.

 _"Uh oh...he's pissed."_ They all thought as they were trying to think of a way to explain their situation.

"OH JOYFUL HAPPY DAY!" He yelled as he did a drunken twirl.

"Uh...sir?" Ren asked.

"Oh you have made my day! Oh I am the happiest man on the planet!" He said as everyone felt a little creeped out by this eccentric home owner.

"Uh, You're welcome I guess?" Jaune said as the man picked up the cavalry saber.

"You have fulfilled my dream of fighting off intruders in my home! HAVE AT THEE!" He yelled as he took a swing at Jaune.

"WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!" Jaune yelled as he dodged a swing.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" He yelled as Nora threw something at him.

"JAUNE! CATCH!" She yelled as she threw a broadsword and shield to him.

"Huh, hey this remind me of Croceo-" He said as he felt a lock of hair fall from his head.

"HA! HA! FIRST BLOOD!" He yelled as Jaune brought his shield up.

"WILL YOU JUST LET US EXPLAIN YOU CRAZY BASTARD?!" He said as he bashed the man in the head. Which made him drop the sword.

"Ugh! AH! I'm bleeding! YES! This is real! HA HA!" He said as he picked up a sword that was labeled 'Ulfberht'

"Oh god, what is wrong with this guy?!" He said as the man suddenly looked at Ren.

"Well helllooooo Gorgeous.." He said as Ren suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Uh...what?" He said as Yang stepped up.

"Uh, was he referring to me?" She said as the man shook his head in a drunken stupor.

"Oh hello no Pretty Lady. I was referring to the green garbed beast over there." He said as he charged at Jaune again.

"Okay, its official, this guy is too drunk to function." Yang said as Jaune was surprisingly having an easy time fending him off.

 ***BAM*** Suddenly the man fell down to the ground. Knocked unconscious. Everyone turned to see Nora with a warhammer.

"What? He was flirting with Ren!" She said as she was growling overprotectively.

"Uh..Nora...he's bleeding out." Ren said as he saw there was blood pooling out onto the carpet.

"OH MY GOD! That shouldn't have done that! His Aura should have protected him!" She said as suddenly felt very guilty.

"Well we got to stop the bleeding!" Jaune said as he really didn't want to get charged with murder.

The guys in prison would love a pretty boy like him.

"Good thing I always keep some dust balm." Weiss said as she pulled her personal first aid kit out of nowhere.

"How is that going to repair the hole in his head?!" Ruby said as she didn't like the thought of being an accessory to murder.

"Hello? I'm a Schnee, this is specialized healing dust ointment, usually meant to cure small wounds, all we got to do is pull this piece of bone out of the skull anddddddd." She said as she applied it to the man's head and wrapped it up in a bandage.

"Wait, what just happened?" Jaune said as he blinked and he missed it.

"Quick fix...although he may have brain damage." She said as Yang spoke up.

"He may have had brain damage already..." She said as they all sighed.

"The point is...in a way he was right." Ruby said as they all looked at her.

"Well we did invade his home." She said as Weiss scoffed.

"I hardly think trying to kill us was the appropriate solution!" She yelled.

"Yeesssss it wasssssss.." The man drunkenly said in his sleep.

"Maybe we should wait for him to sober up...we might be able to be civil then." Blake said as she was still reading the book she had found.

* * *

 **(1) I couldn't find a good smut novel, so I just made one up.**


	2. Wake Up

**So what the heck, I'll continue this, although I might have to do it sober. Also I have to say it, yes, we know this is a self insert, and yes...some of the personality traits my self insert has...is actually me in real life. And the description is obviously me in real life...I am one messed up individual. Not in the 'You got issues' way, more like the 'sunshine and rainbows happy' way.**

 **Anyways, this chapter is more of a filler.**

* * *

 **RWBY AND JNPR**

"He's still breathing right?" Nora said as they had tied the man to a chair.

"Yeah, he's fine." Ren said as he was keeping his distance.

"I feel terrible, but he was flirting with you!" She said as she was being protective of her man.

"I uh, have to admit, I was not expecting a man to flirt with me. But...some people are like that." He said trying to excuse the man's behavior.

"Either way, theres something you should know." Pyrrha said as she stood up.

"What?" They asked.

"He doesn't have any aura, we even tried to unlock it...he doesn't have a single drop." She said as everyone looked shocked.

"How..how is that possible?!" Weiss yelled as that was impossible.

"He should be dead. Even if it wasn't unlocked, every living creature has it except...Grimm." Jaune said as they all suddeny felt very worried.

"Oh come on guys! He's not a Grimm! Possibly Drunk, Crazy, and possibly violent..." Ruby said as she was suddenly thinking of someone else.

"Actually, come to think of it, he reminds me of Uncle Qrow..." She said as Yang had a lightbulb go off in her head.

"Hey yeah! Except he doesn't smell like whiskey, and Qrow can actually fight, he seemed to just be flailing wildy." She said as they had put the swords far away from him.

"Still though, what kind of psycho actually looks forward to defending his house from invaders?" Jaune asked as the man talked in his sleep again.

"Annnyyy damn reaaallll american should know how to defend his home...Murica." He said as everyone was creeped out that he did that.

"Where the heck did we end up?" Weiss asked as she was looking up facts on his laptop.

"And why does he still have this outdated technology?" She said as she found a fairly outdated laptop, and an outdated smartphone from before scrolls were invented.

"Who cares? Lets just be glad he has something." Blake said as she was sitting next to Weiss.

"Well, based on his website choices, he seems to visit websites for buying swords, something called facebook, youtube, and...fanfiction?" She asked as she had never heard of such a thing.

"Hey whats that tab right there?" Ruby asked as Weiss clicked on it.

 **"RWBY CHIBI!"** They suddenly saw miniaturized versions of themselves on top of their team name with Ruby's rose symbol.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" Weiss said as everyone's jaws dropped.

"THAT'S US!" Jaune yelled.

"BUT ADORABLE!" Nora said as they all looked so cute.

"Wait a minute...guys, why does this exist?" Yang said as they all suddenly felt creeped out.

"Oh god, what if this guy is stalking us?" Blake said as she felt slightly uncomfortable.

"I doubt it, he obviously didn't know who we are, and keep in mind, our team names are posted on the Schnee network, everyone is making Team shirts, maybe this is a fan series." Weiss said as she saw a clip.

 _"I did not ask for this...these are unauthorized snuggles."_ She said as Blake saw that the chibi version of Zwei was trying to cuddle up to her.

 _"I didn't say to stop!"_ She said as she pulled Zwei back when he tried to go away.

 _"If you tell anyone about this...I will shave your butt."_ She said as they cuddled up to each other.

"AH HA! I knew you liked Zwei!" Ruby said as Blake buried her face in a book.

"No I don't..." She said as there was no way that show was accurate.

"Well, this rules out it being a fan series, how did they know about Zwei, or better yet, how do they know Zwei and Blake don't get along the best." Yang said as everyone felt creeped out again.

"Hey that reminds me!" Ruby said as she ran over to the guy.

"That guy has a shirt with crescent rose on it! And it has our Team Name on it too!" She said as she pointed out the logo on his shirt.

"Okay this is getting weirder and weirder." Yang said as he started to stir.

"Uggghhhh." He was waking up.

"Oh boy, this is going to be awkward." Nora said as the man opened his eyes.

"..." The man said as he looked at them all.

"...Uhm...Hi?" Nora said as the man blinked.

"Is this a dream?" He asked as they all looked at each other.

"Uh No? We're all really here." Ruby said wondering why he thought it was a dream.

"Yep, definitely a dream. Wait, why am I tied up? Oh...OH its one of THOSE dreams. Well, Blake is here and she's got the bondage weapon, would make sense." He said as Blake blushed.

"EXCUSE ME?!" She yelled.

"Oh come on, a part of your weapon is literally used for tying things up, how is that not a bdsm undertone?" He said as she suddenly realized something.

"Wait, how do you know about my weapon?" She said as the man sighed.

"Oh please, do you really think I don't know facts about one of my favorite TV shows?" He asked as they all looked confused.

"TV Show?" Yang asked.

"Yeah, RWBY." He said as Ruby spoke up.

"Yes?" She asked thinking her name was being called.

"No, RWBY as in the team name, you know, Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang." He said as Team RWBY felt very creeped out.

"Okay mister, how do you know our names?!" Yang said as she was cracking her knuckles.

"Like I said, favorite TV show, its the same way I know about Jaune, Ren, Nora and...PYRRHA?!" He yelled as he suddenly got a smile on his face.

"Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! You're here too!" He said as Pyrrha felt really uncomfortable.

"Uhm, yes?" She said as she did not feel comfortable.

"This is so cool! You're one of my favorite characters, right next to Jaune and a few others!" He said as he looked very excited.

"Uh, thank you?" She said as she couldn't believe she was known even amongst this guy.

"What do you mean characters?" Ren asked.

"Like I said, characters from Roosterteeh's web series, RWBY?" He said, not believing he was talking to figments of his dream.

"Yes?" Ruby asked again.

"Team name RWBY, not you Ruby." Yang said as she just gave out an 'oh.'

"I know this is probably a dream, but its good to see you're okay. So...Can I be untied now?" He said as they didn't know what to do.

"Well, I guess..." Ruby said as everyone gave her an 'Are you serious?' look.

"Well, he seems a lot friendlier now that he's not trying to kill us." Jaune tried to defend him as they cut his ropes.

"Ah there we go, wait, where did you get the rope from?" He asked as everyone looked at Nora.

"Found it." She said, not giving out any more details.

The man stood up. Stretching out his body, he then walked past the huntsman and huntresses in training, as he went straight to the kitchen. Surprisingly there was already warm water for tea ready. So instead of getting a drink of alcohol, he went for the tea. He then pulled out a leftover blueberry muffin and sat down on his couch. Content with his tea and his muffin.

"Ah, there we go, so relaxed." He said as he looked towards his guests.

"Oh, I'm sorry, would you like anything? There are still some blueberry muffins, Ruby there are some strawberries in the fridge, Yang, you got all the ingredients for a strawberry sunrise, Nora, pancake mix second cupboard, Blake, we have pouch tuna in the cupboard, Pyrrha and Jaune, there should be something in there you'll like, Ren is already covered with the tea, and Weiss..." He said as he looked at her thoughtfully.

"Uh, I don't know, there's ice cream in there if you want that." He said as he went back to his muffin.

"Wait, how did you know some of our favorite foods?" Blake asked.

"How many times do I have to say this? Your characters from my favorite web series, of course...Oh hang on." He said as he went over to his dvd shelf.

"Here, the first two volumes of RWBY. If you'll excuse me. I have to go nurse a hangover, by sleeping until tomorrow. It was nice to meet you all, but I got to get some sleep. Maybe, I'll have this dream some other time. Also for some reason volume 3 of RWBY has disappeared...how odd..." He said as he went to his room.

"Well...this keeps getting weirder and weirder." Ruby said as she looked at the two dvds in her hand.

"Should we watch them?" Blake asked curious about what was going on.

"Might as well..." Jaune said as he was curious.

* * *

 **HOURS LATER**

They had only watched up to the Beacon initiation, one thing was for sure, there was no way this guy was some elaborate stalked. Every action they took during their time trying to get into Beacon was recorded, there was no possible way he could have been monitoring them all at the same time. It was funny seeing Jaune get speared to the locker again by Pyrrha. Also Yang laughed her ass off at the fact that the whole 'crater face' story turned out to be real. She thought they were just exaggerating.

"Well..that was a thing." Yang said as everyone was dumbfounded.

"I can't believe this...what kind of crazy world did we end up in?" Weiss said as she was certain they were not in Remnant anymore.

"I don't know! But it was SOOOOO cool seeing how I fight from the outside!" Nora said as she was fangirling over herself.

"Speak for yourself." Jaune said as he was embarrassed everyone now knew it was him screaming like a girl at initiation.

"Whatever happened to those friends back at Signal?" Ren asked as he saw Ruby writing a letter to them.

"They stopped replying, I don't know why." Ruby said as she was a little sad.

To think that it was so easy to lose friends over transferring schools, it was a hard fact of life, some of the best friends you had one minute could be lost as soon as you left one school and went to another. Yang had the same thing happen to her when she ended up going to Beacon, and some of her friends went to Haven. It was just something that was unavoidable, luckily some would stick with you, and some would keep in touch.

"Has anyone else noticed that some of the other students were just shadows?" Pyrrha asked as she knew they didn't look like that.

"Yeah, I was standing next to some of those students in school, and I may not have paid them much attention, but I do know that they had actual faces" Yang said as some of her friends were the shadow people.

"mmmhmmmmmm." They heard the man get up and walk right past them.

"Uh, Good morning?" Weiss said as the man just ignored them.

"hibincs." He grumbled, his eyes not really open yet.

"Great, he's like Winter in the morning." Weiss said as Winter was always like that before her morning coffee.

He went over to the fridge, and pulled out some kind of caffeinated fruit drink that they didn't recognize. He cracked that open, and immediately took a few gulps.

His eyes suddenly shot awake as he noticed his eight guests.

"Uh, Good morning?" Ruby said this time.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed like Jaune at his initiation.


	3. Introductions

**So this story hasn't gotten a lot of publicity. But hopefully as I get further along. People will start to like it. I have a poll up, although to be honest, I don't know why some people wanted me to add a pairing. I don't even think much of the idea.**

 **Honestly, most of the characters on the show would be creepy for my self insert to date since they are still minors. But if it makes the PMers happy, I put up a poll.**

 **Anyways, this is just a filler chapter, since honestly, I wasn't drunk when I wrote this, so it doesn't have the same magic.**

* * *

"Sir! Will you just calm down." Ren said as the man from before was now completely sober, and realizing he wasn't dreaming.

Needless to say he had freaked out just a little bit. And by a little bit, he had screamed and was now holding a viking axe for protection.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? There are fictional characters in my house right now! And you're telling me to calm down?" He said as they felt a little hurt.

"Hey! We're not fictional! You can see us can't you?" Ruby said as he nodded.

"But that's the point! You shouldn't be here! You're not supposed to be real! Even if all the fanboys and fan girls got their wish, this doesn't make any sense!" He said as nobody knew how to calm him down.

"We assure you Sir, we are not here to harm you." Pyrrha said in a soothing tone.

"Oh really? Then why did I wake up with this bloody bandage on my head, and why is my carpet covered in blood?" He said as they suddenly remembered they hadn't clean that up.

"HEY! You were flirting with Ren!" Nora said trying to defend herself.

"I DO NOT REMEMBER THAT! I WAS PROBABLY DRUNK! I was out with some exchange students from Britain, and those crazy bastards know how to drink!" He said as he had never known a human being could consume that much alcohol.

"And since when is flirting with someone a crime?! You're not Anita Sarkeesian!" He said as he remembered that evil lady. **(1)**

"I don't know who that is, but she sounds like a terrible person." Nora said.

"I know how to get him to calm down." Ruby said as she walked forward.

The bearded man looked at her, and he froze. Ruby was using puppy dog eyes on him. Now you see, there comes a time in a man's life when he meets a woman that will give him 'the look' the one look that either says 'do what i want.' or 'please look at me, I'm cute.' Most men have a hard enough time with those looks on a real woman, but the thing is, the man still saw her as a character from his favorite web series. Which made it even worse, because it made her a ticking time bomb of weaponized cuteness.

He dropped the axe as that face was just so damn adorable, even the world's manliest man would have wanted to pick her up and hug her.

"O-Okay." He said as he felt like a shit bag for acting in a way that those eyes would look disapprovingly at him.

"Thank you!" Ruby said as she smiled and suddenly he felt all the self loathing he may have had officially fade away.

"Now, why don't we talk like human beings." Ren said as the man spoke up.

"So...you're here." He said as they nodded.

"But how? I mean, characters just don't come to life all of a sudden?" He asked as he couldn't believe he was having this conversation right now.

"Long story short, Weiss over there blew us up and we ended up here." Ruby said as the man looked at her

"Isn't that your job crater face?" He said as Ruby's head fell down.

"Even here, I can't escape that nickname." She said as Yang was chuckling.

"Anyways I need a drink." He said as he walked over to a bottle labeled 'Jack Daniels.'

He got out two shot glasses, filled the glasses up, and then pushed them aside, and started to drink out of the bottle.

"I think you may have a bit of a problem..." Yang said as she was surprised he could take that much.

"At this point, I don't know what to do. At least with good ol Mr. Daniels, I can calm down." He said as he went out on his deck and started up the grill.

"Look, how about I make some breakfast and we talk this over?" He said as they all looked at each other.

"What are we having?" Weiss said as he held up a few cuts of meat.

"Breakfast steak." He said as Ren spoke up.

"Could I have mine well done please?" He said as the man looked at him with a glare.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're lucky I don't clock you for saying that." He said as he looked over to everyone.

"If you want it more cooked, you will only be able to get a medium rare, other than that, we cook steak rare in this house." He said as he went outside.

"WAIT! We still don't know your name?" Pyrrha asked.

"Oh yeah, well, You can just call me JC." He said as he finally got around to throwing the steaks on the grill.

He went outside to go and grill the last nine porterhouses he had thawing in the fridge. Meanwhile the two teams were not sure what to do. On one hand, he seemed harmless when he wasn't drinking, the only problem was so far he seemed to always be drinking. Course that may have just been the cause of stress. Either way, he was still eccentric as hell.

"FUCKING GEESE! GET OUT OF HERE!" They heard him yell.

"Uh, are you okay?" Jaune asked as he poked his head out.

"I'm fine, damn Geese fly over head nearly crapping on my grill." He said as Jaune poked his head back in.

"He sounds like a pissed off forty year old man right now." Jaune asked as Ruby

"Yeah, kind of a switch when he sounded like a happy gay drunk guy." Ruby said as JC popped his head in.

"First off, I go both ways, Second off, you realize I can still hear you guys right?" He said as he said as they now noticed that the door he closed was actually a screen.

"Sorry..."Ruby said kicking the ground.

He rolled his eyes. Meanwhile they all decided to just sit in silence and process what was happening. So they were stuck in some alternate reality or some shit where they were actually a tv show. They were in the house of what appeared to be a bisexual redneck with e penchant for alcohol and swords. And to top it all off. That same guy threatened to punch Ren for wanting a steak well done.

"Dig in." He said as he threw the steaks on the table.

"uhmm." Weiss said as she saw the steak still bleeding.

"Relax, its supposed to be like that, really brings out the flavor." He said as they all sat down.

Once again, another awkward moment. Ren wasn't sure why he was sitting right next to JC. He had no doubt he could beat the guy, considering his training and the fact he had Aura. But still, when someone threatens to clock you for wanting a steak done a certain way. You get a little paranoid. Because that person must be crazy.

"So...where are we?" Yang asked as she was taking bites out of her steak.

"Well, you're in the Good ol USA, in the state of Illinois in the North. In other words, the only thing you'll see around here is corn." He said as that was true for everyone who lived in the northern part of Illinois.

"Okay, we have no idea what you're talking about, which just solidifies our stance that we really screwed up with that dust." Weiss said as he sighed.

"Honestly this sounds like something a drunk guy would write on fanfiction." He said as Ruby spoke up.

"Whats fanfiction?" She asked as JC took another shot.

"Basically, its where people go to write alternate versions of certain tv shows, books, movies." He said as Weiss spoke up.

"Why would anyone do that?" She asked as JC paused.

"Uhhh, well, some people get really pissed off at some moments in the show, or they do it to fulfill...fantasies." He said as he didn't really want to go into detail.

"Can I use your laptop?" Pyrrha asked as JC nodded.

"Yeah sure, just don't delete my homework, I got to go back to class tomorrow." He said as Pyrrha walked over to the crappy broken down laptop.

The rest of them sat eating in silence. As it turns out, Rare steak was absolutely delicious, and anyone who says different is a commy asshole.

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Pyrrha yelled out as JC stood up.

"Oh shit what happened?!" He yelled out as he was worried for his favorite character.

"There is...uhm...wow...I mean...Oh my..." She said with a huge blush on her face.

JC looked at the screen, blushed, and then had to resist the urge to laugh.

"Why...Why did you look that up?" He asked as she looked away with a blush.

"I...I was trying to find information on this show we are a part of...and I saw something labeled 'JNPR rule 34' and I got...curious..." She said as she had seen her and Jaune in many...MANY interesting positions.

"Well uhm...maybe you should ask me if you see something you don't-" He was cut off by Pyrrha's scroll camera going off.

His jaw dropped as he realized Pyrrha just took a picture of her and Jaune engaged in lewd acts.

"If you tell anyone...I'll cut your balls off." She said as she put her scroll away with a blush.

"Y-Yeah! Don't worry about me! Go arkos!" He said as Jaune came in.

"How did you know the name to our new maneuver?" He asked as JC scratched the back of his head.

"Oh uh, Duh, its on the show website." He said as he gave out an 'oh' and went back to eating.

"Okay, how did you really know?" Pyrrha asked with a fixed stare.

"It's actually the name of your pairing, Ar=Arc, and Os=Nikos. Everyone wants to see you two together." He said as Pyrrha beamed.

"So there is hope." She said as JC got really depressed.

 _"Yes...there was hope...oh fucking Roosterteeth, I love your show, but you pulled a game of thrones on me you assholes."_ JC thought as he shook his head of the thoughts.

He may have been a tough guy at times, but Pyrrha's death was depressing.

"Look, just forget about this, and...Don't ever look up porn on my laptop again..." He said as she blushed and went back to eating.

The rest of the small breakfast went in silence. Pyrrha would occassionally take peeks at the pictures she had taken on her scroll and silently giggle. Blake however, had finished her steak and had found some pouch tuna in the pantry, and was now helping herself to it. Jaune was wondering why Pyrrha looked so happy while reading his book on Joan of Arc. Ruby was playing with her food, Yang was eyeing JC with suspicion, Ren was talking to Nora. And JC was staring down at the leftover fat from his steak.

"Look, I'll be honest...I have no idea what to do with you guys." He said as he looked at them all.

"I mean, you're not exactly dressed to go outside, those outfits will bring attention, the most normal one seems to be Jaune. I mean, there aren't any local cosplay groups so we can't say you're doing that. But at the same time, I can't keep you locked up in here. So what should we do?" He asked as they were huddle around his coffee table.

"Well, I'm not staying in here the whole time! There is a whole new world out there! I need to explore!" Yang said as Ruby shared her sentiments.

"But once again, there remains the problem, you're not exactly inconspicuous. You can't go outside dressed like that." He said as he looked them over.

Jaune could remove his armor and pass for a regular guy, but everyone else just looked out of place. Especially Weiss with her strange ponytail, and Ruby with her gothic lolita doll appearance.

"Well, I could always borrow some of your clothes.." Ren suggested as he was the only other male besides Jaune and JC.

"And the others?" He asked.

"We could all go shopping!" Nora said as Yang spoke up.

"But once again, he said we can't go outside like this..." Yang suggested as Nora spoke up.

"Jaune and him can just go buy us something basic so we can go out!" She said as Jaune and JC froze.

"You...want us to shop...for all of you?" He said looking over the seven girls.

"Do you really want us to go crazy not being able to leave the house.

"But...my wallet..." He said as he was not looking forward to that.

He saw Ruby's puppy dog eyes out of the corner of his eye.

"Son...of...a...bitch." Jaune and JC said at the same time.

* * *

 **(1) The hypocritical asshole that runs Feminist frequency, basically if it offends her, its sexist, if it doesn't offend her, then its sexist. She's basically a whiny teenager calling out for attention.**


	4. Awkward Moment

**So here we go, another chapter.**

* * *

 **JC and Jaune**

"I can't believe this, I can't believe this, all I wanted was to go home, drink Guinness, do my homework, and possibly find a date. Instead I am off going clothing shopping for a bunch of teenage girls...good lord I sound like a damn pedophile." He said as he was driving his pickup truck to the store.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure no one will judge you..." Jaune said, although he didn't want to do this either.

He had been clothing shopping before with his sisters...it was horrifying.

"Are you kidding me? I am going to buy clothes for a bunch of 17 year olds! And one 15 year old! Do you have any idea how creepy that sounds?! I may as well shave my beard into a mustache and buy a windowless van and spray paint free candy on the side!" He said as he was not in a good mood.

"Look, at least they gave us their measurements." Jaune held up a piece of paper.

Good thing Weiss was a practicing seamstress and knew how to take exact measurements. There was only one problem. Weiss had pointed out that they...didn't have proper underwear for their stay...

JC screamed at the fact he would have to buy bras and panties...it took Jaune forever to get him to calm down and not hit the bottle of Jim bean on his table. After Pyrrha had reassured the two that it would be just fine, they set off in his old pickup truck. It was old, but she still kicked ass. Still though, JC out of stress was going 75 in a 45 mile per hour zone. It was a miracle they hadn't been pulled over yet.

"I think you almost ran that ice cream man off the road..." Jaune said as he saw a pissed off ice cream man.

"Eh, that guy is an asshole anyways, I saw him sticking his balls in the chocolate chip mint ice cream." He said as Jaune felt disgusted.

"Why the hell is he still an ice cream man?" He asked not understanding why he was still that.

"I don't know, apparently because nobody believed me when I told them." JC said as he tried to report the guy.

"Sooooooo, you live here long?" He said referring to the town that looked like it was in the middle of a cornfield.

"I just moved here to attend college, I've only lived here for about a year and a half." JC said something normal.

"So you like it here?" He asked trying to continue the conversation.

"Eh, unfortunately some of the students are a little too whiny for my tastes, and all the hippies on campus piss me off, but I do like the education and the free food." He said as he looked around for a store.

"What are hippies?" Jaune asked.

"Basically dirty people who believe that smoking pot gives them the power to change the world." He said as Jaune didn't know what to say about that.

"What about that store? Victoria's Secret?" He asked as JC glared at him.

"I AM NOT GOING TO A LINGERIE STORE FOR MINORS!" He yelled as Jaune held his hands in defense.

"Okay...I did not know that was a Lingerie store..." He said blushing a bit.

"Look, there we go!" He said as he pulled into a thrift store.

"Seriously? This place looks run down." Jaune said as JC waved him off.

"Trust me, its decent clothing for cheap prices, I don't want to max out my credit card on expensive clothes for them all." He said as he didn't like spending too much money.

They walked inside the store as the only woman working there looked at them.

"Hey fellas, what can we do you for?" She said in a cute Northern wisconsin accent.

"Uh...Yeah, this may sound a little weird but..." JC said as Jaune spoke up.

"We need to buy female clothing." He said as JC made a face at him.

"Dude! You don't just come out and say that!" He said as Jaune looked at him.

"What? There's no shame in it." He said as the teller got a look on her face.

"Oh, its okay fellas! I don't judge. I can find something perfect for your boyfriend here." She said as she brushed Jaune's chest.

"Wait! It's not for-" He said as she had already went off to get something.

"Great, now everyone's going to think we're having kinky crossdresser fun, thanks a lot Jaune!" JC glared at him.

"Hey! I didn't mean that! And I will have you know I look damn fine in a dress!" He said as JC face palmed.

"Thats not the point! I have been trying to ask this girl out for the past few months! And now she thinks that we're dating, I mean, yeah you're attractive, but you're not my type." JC said as Jaune scratched the back of his head.

"Oh well, sorry man." He said as the lady came back.

"Here we go, I think this would look rather 'Ravaging on him.'" She said with a bit of a nosebleed.

It was what appeared to be a slutty maid costume, and the funny part was it was Jaune's size.

"Look lady, we're just here to-" JC tried to say as she forced Jaune into the dressing room.

"And for God's sake..." He said as he waited outside.

"Woah! I don't wear thon...OKAY! WOAH! I did not consent to this!" Jaune yelled as he came out of the dressing room in the outfit.

"See?! Doesn't he look ravaging!" She said as JC...blushed a bit, but reminded himself that this was a minor.

"Okay...first off, we're here to pick up clothes for our friends, they're staying for a few weeks, but they lost their clothes because they...went skinny dipping in the local reservoir and someone stole their clothes." He said coming up with a lie.

"Oh...OH! I'M SO SORRY! It's just that, you two came in, and you looked so nervous! I just assumed! Just give met their measurements, and I will take care of it." She said as JC gave her the measurement sheet.

Meanwhile JC was looking at Jaune in the maid costume. And he had to admit, Jaune did actually look good in that. He looked away with a blush as he saw Jaune walked back into the dressing room. Seriously what the heck? How could a guy look so feminine and so masculine at the same time? More importantly, why did Jaune shave his legs?

"Yang...must never...hear about this." Jaune said with a blush that could rival a tomato.

"Oh yeah, sure...no problem." JC said as he was now laughing a bit.

* * *

 **BACK AT THE HOUSE**

"So how did the trip go?" Yang asked.

"I don't want to talk about it.." Jaune said as JC came in with the shopping bags.

"Hey Yang! Want to see a picture of Jaune!" JC yelled as he opened it up on his phone.'

"DUDE! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL!" Jaune yelled in horror.

"We didn't shake on it, you have to shake to make it official." He said as Yang looked at the phone.

"WOAH HO HO! Damn Vomit boy! Who knew you had a kinky side!" Yang said as Pyrrha grasped it.

"Ooooooooohhhhh Myyyyyyyyy." She said with a blush as she wanted JC to send that picture to her now.

"Ha! Jaune is the maid!" Nora laughed.

"I am going to kill you for this..." Jaune said as he saw Weiss laughing.

"Well in the mean time I'm going to get something to eat, oh look we have Ranch 'Dressing' Jaune." JC said making a pun.

"Oh God no, not another one..." Ruby said as she thought Yang was annoying enough with her puns.

Yang meanwhile beamed at the thought of finding a fellow punster. While the rest of the teams shivered in horror at the possibility of two bad jokesters.

"What is this?!" Weiss asked as she pulled out a t shirt.

"Hey, beggers can't be choosers, and the point is that you are supposed to blend in with Society Ice Queen." He said as Weiss glared.

"Don't call me that! And I suppose..it will have to do." She said as as she went to go get changed.

"Hey cool! My shirt has a boxer on it!" Yang said holding up a Muhammad Ali t shirt and jeans.

"Awww! Look at the dog!" Ruby said finding one of those animal head hats.

"Really?" Blake asked as her t shirt had a kitten on it.

"Yeah! You got to be 'kitten' us right now!" Yang said as everyone groaned.

"I found that shirt to be 'purrrfect' for her." He said as he high fived Yang.

"And to think I was going to kick your ass if you turned out to be a douche!" She said as he laughed but then froze up.

"Wait...what?" He said as he felt worried.

He had already taken a war hammer to the head, he didn't want to get pounded by Yang. He had a feeling that would be even worse. Granted none of them had their weapons, but getting punched in the face sucked.

Granted, for some odd reason, popping pimples seemed to hurt a lot more than getting punched in the face, but that was just him. The point is it sucked.

"Why does mine have a bearded man yelling while dressed in a leather speedo?" Pyrrha asked as she had a shirt with a '300' logo on it.

"Hey, I tried to find things that were in your sizes, and it took me awhile to convince the lady working there that I wasn't some kind of creepy guy who had people locked up in his basement." He said as that was one hell of a day.

Ren was simply wearing a green polo with khacki slacks and black shoes, Pyrrha a '300'' t shirt and tight jeans, Weiss a white t shirt with Elsa from Frozen on it, and a long skirt. Ruby was wearing a red hoodie with black jeans and the dog head hat she found. Nora was wearing an Amon amarth shirt with shorts. Jaune was dressed in his jeans and hoodie since he came prepared. Blake was begrudgingly wearing the kitty shirt and black pants, along with a black baseball cap to hide her ears, since JC pointed out a bow would not work here. Yang was wearing a pair of jean shorty shorts and a yellow long sleeve shirt with a packer symbol on it.

"You have no idea how awkward it was buying panties for you all...NEVER ask me to do that again." He said as he felt like he needed to wash his hands of his sins.

Not because of the clothes, but because he felt like a freaking pedo.

"So, now what?" He asked as they all sat down.

"Uh, what do you do for fun around here?" Ruby asked as they had no idea where they wanted to go.

"Well...I don't know, I don't really get out much." JC said as they all suddenly felt very bored.

"More importantly, how are we all going to go out? I can fit three people in the front seat of my truck, and maybe three in the back seat, but those seats are not very comfortable if you're taller. I mean, I could throw some of you in the truck bed, but I would have to cover you up.." He said as Jaune nodded.

"Yeah, we didn't really think this through..." Pyrrha said as JC groaned.

"Please tell me I didn't spend all that money for nothing..." He said as Nora was looking up at the ceiling.

"Why don't we all stay in today and watch a movie? And go out and do something tomorrow." She said as he looked up.

"I have class tomorrow.." He said as she beamed.

"Then we can all go to your school!" She said as everyone agreed with that.

"Uh, I'm not sure if thats a good idea." He said as he really didn't want to do that.

"Oh come on! It will be fine! What's the worse that could happen?" Yang asked.

"Well, you could be brainwashed by biased professors, caught up in one of those stupid ass student protests, given drugs by one of the local stoners..." He said as they were all looking at him oddly. **(1)**

"Uh, I think you may be getting a bit personal with this, whats so bad about the student protests?" Weiss asked not understanding what his problem was.

"Look, students on college campuses show how much they don't know, by protesting and screaming loudly, I may like it here, but not all the students are bright." He said as he had run into some damn idiots during his years at college.

"Relax, we don't know enough about your world to get brainwashed by any professor, we don't like protests because they're too loud, and our aura negates the affects of most drugs!" Nora said as JC looked a little worried.

"I don't know..." He said as he wasn't sure what to think.

"Plllleeeassssseeee?" Ruby said with the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh come on! THATS NOT FAIR!" JC yelled as he felt like an asshole.

"No! I am not falling for it this time!" He said as Ruby started to move her lip a little bit.

"I'm not doing it! It won't work again!" He said as Ruby turned up the waterworks a little bit.

"Pweeasssse?" She said in as cute of a tone as possible.

JC once again felt his heart melt as he smiled at the site. It was like resting on a cloud, being basked in the warmth of a sun while munching on delicious chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

"Son...of...a...bitch." He said as he couldn't take it anymore.

* * *

 **(1) I like college, but frankly some of the obvious political bias and misinformation the professors give out due to their personal stake in matters really does irritate me.**


	5. Don't take Cookies from Strangers

**So this story is fun to write for, mostly because I get to put in some of the stupid shit I do in real life. I mean, I'm a disciplined guy, who's actually pretty conservative at times, but mostly Libertarian, so I will make jokes about Liberals...A LOT.**

 **But I still like to do stupid stuff at times, but just not too often.**

 **I'm actually surprised the poll got some votes.**

 **The Scores are**

 **Glynda: 5**

 **Coco: 5**

 **Winter: 5**

 **Honestly hard to think: 2**

 **Ironwood: 1**

 **Any characters where it wouldn't be awkward: 1**

* * *

"I'm so excited!" Ruby said as they got on the bus.

"Only you would be excited to go to school..." Jaune said as Yang beamed.

"Hey come on Vomit boy! We're going to go explore a brand new place!" Yang said as he was just as excited.

"Why did I have to dye my hair?" Weiss said as her white hair had been dyed blond.

"Because the only people who have white/silver hair in this world are the elderly." JC said as everyone looked confused.

"What about people with green or blue hair?" Ruby asked.

"Nope, thats impossible in this world." He said as they all looked confused.

"Ooookay, so, what are we going to do today?" Nora asked bouncing in her seat.

"Well, you can't go to class with me, so you'll probably have to find something to do in between classes." He said as he was a little worried about that.

"I'm sure we can find something." Weiss said as she wasn't sure about this.

Yeah, she didn't want to be stuck in that small house all day with seven other people. But this was still an unknown world to them and who knows what kind of crazies they could meet. She heard JC speak disdainfully of 'hippies, socialists, and dumb ass wannabe communist students.' So she was really hoping they didn't run into those kinds of people, she had no idea what a hippy, socialist, or communist was, but they didn't sound like good things.

"So what do you study?" Yang asked.

"Archaeology." He said as he was looking at his phone. **(1)**

"Sounds kind of boring." She said as he shrugged.

"Some of it is, some of it isn't. I was really disappointed when I found out its nothing like Indiana Jones." He said as that was what he thought it was going to be like when he was a kid. That turned out to be a disappointment.

"Wait, we're here already?" Ruby asked as that didn't seem like any time had passed.

"It's not that far of a walk to campus from my house, I just prefer to take the bus since its faster." He said as they got off.

The campus was fairly big, it had one of those fancy church like buildings that seemed to be on every single major university campus. And there were a multitude of students walking to class. Although for some reason, all of them seemed to be pissed off and holding on to cups of coffee labeled 'Starbucks'. Other than that, the fresh air was nice, and they could see ducks swimming through a little river.

"Seems like a nice place." Yang said as they suddenly heard a noise.

"HEY MY PURSE!" A woman yelled as they all turned to see a hooded guy running towards them with some lady's purse.

"Oh, of all the freaking-" JC knew he had to do something.

Although he didn't know what to do, he tried to stop a confrontation once, and he got his ass kicked. Sure he got the purse back, but it left his pride feeling damaged.

"HA!" Yang responded quickly by punching the would be thief in the face.

JC had never seen a man go down that quickly, he might as well have been hit with a sledgehammer, because all it took was one punch to send his candy ass down to the ground. The woman ran up and got her purse back.

"Oh thank you young lady!" She said with gratitude as she saw JC.

"Ah! Mr. C, is this your girlfriend?" She said as JC blushed.

"No, no, no, why would you think that? Not even close, no offense to you Yang. These are just some friends I'm showing around campus." He said as the now revealed professor slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Too bad, you two could be so nice together." She said as both JC and Yang shook their heads.

"He's not my type." Yang said as she was not attracted to him at all.

"And she's 17." JC said as he didn't date anyone under 18, in fear of being called a Pedo.

"They say age is just a number." The Teacher said as she walked away.

"YEAH! AND PRISON IS JUST A ROOM!" JC yelled as she walked away.

"Why the hell would she think we're a couple?" Yang asked wondering why anyone think she would date him.

"I have no freaking idea, she does that to a lot of her students." He said as they continued to walk around campus.

So far it seemed like a nice place, the building were fairly clean, the campus was pretty nice. And there was almost always someone giving away free food in order to encourage someone to go to their restaurant. So they managed to get a free breakfast out of the deal. They walked up to a building, and JC turned to them.

"Okay, I gave you the tour of campus, you know where to go if there is an emergency, and now I got to go to class, just try to stay out of trouble while I'm in there, its only a fifty minute class." He said as he looked at Yang.

"And yes, I am looking to you." He said as he remembered the guy that got knocked out.

"Can we cause just a little trouble?" Nora asked.

"No." He said.

"What about-" Ruby started.

"NO!" He said.

"What if we see another mugger?" Yang asked.

"...I guess that would be okay, just don't kill him." JC just gave up and walked inside.

"Soooo, that athletics building looked nice! Let's go there!" Nora said as she saw punching bags.

"Yeah, it should give us something to do." Yang said as they all started walking together.

"Hey yo!" They saw a white guy with dreadlocks.

"Hey yo! You want to buy some cookies?" He asked holding up some baked goods.

"Oooooh! Cookies!" Ruby was over there and giving him five dollars.

"You're going to enjoy these mon! These are magical!" He said with a wink as Ruby noticed there was a green leaf logo on the plastic covering.

"Huh, wonder what that is?" he asked as she unwrapped the plastic and took a bite out of the chocolate chip cookie.

"Wait, wasn't that guy a hippie?" Weiss asked as she remembered JC describing them.

What the heck was up with that accent though? It was obvious he was just imitating some other country. What was with him?

"I don't know! But these cookies are pretty good!" Ruby said as she munched happily on one.

* * *

 **THIRTY MINUTES LATER**

"Ah, that was a good test." He said as he had finished earlier than everyone else.

"I wonder where they all went to?" He asked himself as he heard a yell.

"RUBY GET DOWN FROM THERE!" He heard Yang yell out as he got worried ran towards the noise.

"Oh hell..." He said as he saw Ruby on top of the Library.

"WEEEEEEE!" Ruby said as she was skipping along the edge.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" JC yelled as he was freaking out.

"We don't know what happened! She ate some cookies, and then she just started acting loopy!" Weiss said as JC took a second to go over what he just heard.

"Wait Cookies?" He said as he got a sinking feeling.

"Yeah, why? What's wrong?" Blake asked as she didn't understand what was going on.

"Was a white guy with dreadlocks selling them to you?" He asked as he facepalmed.

"Yeah, he seeemed nice enough, why? What did he do?" Yang was worried for her sister.

"Oh god, Ruby ate pot cookies..." He said as this situation would have been funny.

If it wasn't for the fact that she was 15, and the fact that she was on top of the library, and he was worried about her falling off. Oh for fucks sake, couldn't this day be normal?

"Okay, we got to get her down before anyone else gets out of class. It's a miracle the cops haven't shown up by now." He said as he saw Ruby doing a handstand.

"HEEEEEYYYY! LOOK AT ME!" She yelled as she was standing on one hand while teetering over the edge.

"CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!" He said as he turned to Weiss.

"Weiss! Can you use your glyphs to get me up there?!" He asked as she nodded.

"You got a plan? Because Yang couldn't even catch her, she's just too fast." Weiss said as JC took something out of his bag.

"Good thing Boy scouts taught me to 'Be Prepared'." He said as he clutched something in his hand.

"Just do it." He said as she nodded.

"Okay, but hold on." She said as he looked back.

"Wait wha-" He was cut off as he was suddenly shooting forward.

"HOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYY SHHHHHHHIIIIIIITTT!" He did not like this idea.

Why the hell didn't he just run up the library stairs to get to Ruby. Why the hell did he think this was a bright idea?! THIS WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING! It would have been okay if Weiss calmly lifted him up to go and get her. But no, she panicked and decided to go full blown light speed to get him to Ruby. Seriously, if she wasn't so much stronger than him and he didn't have a rule about hitting women, he would tackle her.

"Oh thank god, solid ground." He said as he started kissing the gravel roof of the library.

"I am never doing that again." He said as he felt relieved not to be at the mercy of Weiss.

"Hehehe! You look funny!" Ruby said as she was cartwheeling past.

"Okay, Ruby! You need to come with me!" He said trying to calm her down.

"But I'm having soooo much fuuunnnnnnn!" She said as she was dancing.

"Okay, Ruby, I have something for you." He said as he opened his hand.

Only to reveal a bag of Chips ahoy cookies.

"ooooh! Cookies!" She said as he put them back in his jacket.

"BUT! You need to do something." He said as she tilted her head like a dog.

Good lord, even when she was as high as a kite, she was still so adorable. JC shook his head of the thoughts, he couldn't let himself be distracted now. He needed to get Ruby off of the roof.

"What do I need to do?" She asked as she sat down on all fours...once again, like a dog.

 _"Sweet Lord Jesus Christ, if I wasn't trying to diffuse the situation, I would give her a bear hug."_ He thought as he held the bag out, like a magician hypnotizing someone.

"If you want these cookies, you have to get off the roof, and come home with the rest of us." He said as he suddenly thought to himself.

 _"Oh god, I just bribed a minor back to my house with cookies...I'm a pedophile...No! I'm not, I'm trying to help!"_ He thought as Ruby smiled and nodded.

"Okay!" She said as she zoomed over to him and got the cookies.

"And Ruby? If you come back down, I will give you three more bags when we get home." He said as she beamed.

"AWEEEEESSSSOOOMMMMEE!" She said as she did a fist pump.

She then proceeded to jump off the roof.

"RRRUUUBBBBYYYY!" JC yelled as he had a heart attack.

Only to see that Weiss now had Yang up on a glyph, as she thought JC would need backup.

"Are you okay Ruby?" Yang asked as Ruby smiled at her sister.

"The nice man gave me cookies to come back to his house!" She said as Yang looked at JC.

"Wow...you bribed her with cookies?" She asked as JC nodded.

"Cookies got us into this mess, it could get us out." He said as she nodded.

"Still though, it's a good thing I know it was you, otherwise the idea of Ruby getting bribed back to a stranger's house with cookies would be very worrying." She said as she was still thankful he managed to calm her down.

"You coming?" She said as he looked at the glyph.

"Uh no...I'm taking the stairs." He said as he ran over to the doorway on the roof.

He swore to god, He was going to have a heart attack by the time they made it back to Beacon.

* * *

 **(1) I don't actually study archaeology as a degee, I just thought it sounded cooler for the story. I do take the classes as an elective though.**


	6. Ruby Recovery

**Okay this chapter is fairly short, and only filler. So don't expect too much out of it.**

 **Anyways, I will close the poll next chapter. So if you want to vote, do it now.**

 **The current scores are.**

 **Winter: 8**

 **Coco: 6**

 **Glynda: 5**

 **Velvet: 3**

 **Hard to think of things: 2**

 **Non creepy character pairing: 2**

 **Ironwood: 1**

 **So Winter is in the lead, with Coco close behind, and Ironwood in dead last. I'm still surprised people voted for this. Yes, I will put in a pairing for my SI/OC. But probably just to make jokes.**

 **Honestly, because its a self insert, I won't go too into detail with the whole romance/pairing aspect for one reason. I don't want to turn this story into chapter long hours of self stroking masturbation.**

 **I mean, sure this is a self insert, but the way my self insert acts can be pretty eccentric at times even for me. So some things he does is actually what I do in real life, other times he's not like me.**

 **Anyways, now thats out of the way, here is the next chapter.**

* * *

"I can't freaking believe this." JC said as he was hiding his face away in shame as Yang had Ruby tied up on the bus.

"Would you rather we let her steal that tractor and drive it through a dairy queen?" Yang asked as JC just hoped nobody saw them.

Because lord knows, having a tied up young girl never worked out well for anyone. Unless it was those weirdoes who liked hentai. Either way he didn't like the looks they were getting.

"SHE THINKS MY TRACTORS SEEEEXXXXYYYY." Ruby was singing as she was still high.

"How long do these pot cookies last?" Blake asked as she didn't like the song.

"I don't know, somewhere from one to six hours, I don't know, I never touched weed before in my life." He said as he really didn't know anything about drugs except Vicodin which was gift from god.

"Great, seriously we don't have this marijauna stuff back in Remnant, almost everything is prescription drugs." Weiss said as she should know.

"Well, its a little different here." He said simply as their stop came up.

"Okay come on!" He said as they got off the bus with Yang and Weiss carrying Ruby.

"Mommy, why was that girl tied up?" A little boy who was on the bus said as the woman didn't know.

"I don't know, but these college kids do strange things." She said as she saw Ruby giggling happily while eating Chips ahoy.

Basically, Jaune had to keep feeding her Chips ahoy cookies, JC said it was imperative that they keep her fed, as the result of marijuana usage was feeling hungry as hell. Which would make sense, because she ate all of JC's lunch, his bags of chips ahoy, and he had to stop by the cafeteria in order to get some pancakes. Well actually he had to get two servings of pancakes, because he knew that if he didn't bring back any for Nora, she would break his legs.

He may be dumb as shit at times, but he didn't want to piss off Nora.

Or any of the people living with him now, because they would fuck him up.

"Yang, will you read me a bedtime story?" Ruby said with those cute eyes.

"Sure Ruby, but lets just focus on getting you home." She said as she was carrying her.

"But I want it nooowww, I can sleep on your shoulder." She said as Yang sighed.

"Ruby..." She now suddenly knew how JC felt.

"Okay, well there were three bears..." Yang said as she hadn't had to do this since Ruby was five.

It also didn't help that Ruby was so cotton picking High, that she was drooling and Yang had to use a hankerchief to wipe the drool away. Seriously what kind of weed did that guy bake into those cookies? Yang ended up going through the whole story until they finally came back to JC's house. By which time Ruby had fallen asleep, thank god. JC breathed a sigh of relief, as nobody questioned why a bunch of Teenagers were hanging out with the eccentric guy in the neighborhood.

"I'm not taking you guys back there..." JC said as they all walked into the house.

"Why? It was only one thing." Nora said as JC sighed.

"I was gone for thirty minutes, and Ruby ate pot cookies. I also caught you beating the absolute hell of the LARP kids." JC said as that was a horrifying experience.

He had no idea it was possible to receive a concussion from a foam weapon. But then again, this was Nora they were talking about. When he arrived, half of those kids were on their way to the hospital, with Nora holding a giant foam hammer standing victoriously above all of them. Ren ended up grabbing her and getting the hell out of there.

"But they asked me to!" Nora said in her defense.

"Yeah, and a chihuahua thinks that it can take on a doberman, that doesn't mean the doberman should oblige!" He said as he tried to calm down.

"Okay, I..I just need something to relax...Ren? Could you please make some tea?" He asked as Ren nodded.

"I'm shocked you didn't ask fo-" He was cut off by JC.

"Hey, it's too early for Booze. Right now, green tea sounds nice." He said as he sat down.

"Shouldn't you have gotten to your other classes?" Weiss asked as she was certain he had more than one.

"I would have, but as it turns out, there was a huge power outage on campus, I don't know something to do with magnetism." He said as everyone looked at Pyrrha.

"Oh...I'm sorry!" She realized she panicked a bit when Ruby started tripping balls and may have let out an Aura pulse.

"Nah, its okay. After this morning, I could use a break." He said as he laid down on his couch.

"But we can't stay in here forever!" Nora said as she was currently doing a headstand against the wall.

"I know." JC said as Ren came over with the tea.

"Oh thank you." He said as he took a sip.

"Then what are we supposed to do all day when you're at school?" Yang asked crossing her arms.

"Well, I got the movies you can watch. You could clean the living room, wash the dishes, scrub the-" He was cut off by Jaune.

"Are you trying to get us to do your housework for you?" He asked bluntly.

"Hey, it may be my responsibility to keep you housed until Glynda finds a way here, but that doesn't mean I should let you live here rent free." JC said as he was planning on using the cheap labor he had.

"Especially you Weiss." He said as Weiss looked offended.

"WHAT?! WHY ME?!" She said as JC took a sip of tea.

"Simple, because I want to see if that episode of RWBY chibi was accurate." He said as she looked confused.

"What episode?" She asked as she remembered the odd show from Chapter 1.

"The episode where Ruby tries to bake a cake, and you end up burning the kitchen down." He said as she once again looked offended.

"WHAT?! I WOULD NEVER BURN THE KITCHEN DOWN!" She said as JC shrugged.

"Well dang, I guess that answers-" He was cut off by Weiss.

"Besides, the servants take care of the kitchens!" She said as JC got an evil grin on his face.

"Good! So you're willing to do chores! Perfect!" He said as he brought up a list.

"Wait, what?" She said no knowing what happened.

"Okay, Yang, you just look after Ruby until she wakes up." He said as Yang gave him a thumbs up.

"Nora can take the trash out, Weiss can...prepare something that doesn't require her to cook."

"HEY!"

"Blake, can clean the downstairs room. Ren can help teach Weiss how to prepare her own food, because let's face it, everyone should know how to cook basic things. Jaune and Pyrrha, uh, actually can I ask you for a favor?" He leaned in close to the two of them.

"Wait...are you serious?" Jaune said as he nodded.

Pyrrha thought it over as she shrugged.

"I suppose I could give you a few pointers." She said as JC smiled.

"Awesome!" He said as he was in a much better mood.

"What did he ask you guys?" Ren whispered to them.

"He asked me for dancing lessons..." Jaune whispered back.

"And he wanted me to teach him how to fight with a tomahawk and bowie knife..." Pyrrha said.

"Wait, you can do that?" Ren asked.

"I can, I don't know why he wants to." She said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY COOKIES FROM ME!" An evil voice screamed out as everyone turned to Ruby.

"What...the...fuck?" JC thought he shit himself from fear.

"Did that..voice just come out of Ruby?" Weiss asked.

"Oh don't worry, that happens occasionally." Yang said as everyone stared at her.

"She sounded like the little girl from Exorcist." JC said as nobody understood that reference.

"Never mind." Anyways, lets get to work.

As soon as he said that, everyone got to work on their 'chores' kind of humiliating considering they were warriors first and foremost, but still, they could stomach a little housework. Besides how bad could it be?

"Why is there a footprint on the ceiling?" Jaune asked as he looked up.

"Hell if I know, maybe I was trying to squash a spider." JC said as he was organizing his books.

"Your ceiling is fifteen feet up." Pyrrha stated.

"Then I guess I was on a ladder trying to squash a spider, I don't know, I was probably drunk." He said as they all got back to work.

JC had to admit, it was nice to have cheap labor on hand. Didn't have to hire a cleaning lady, and he wouldn't have to deal with the puke stains from the time his ex girlfriend threw up on his rug. He figured Weiss would enjoy cleaning that up. If she didn't kill him first. But he was serious about them earning their rent, doing a few simple chores around the house would keep them occupied. And since he nearly had a heart attack earlier from trying to save Ruby from falling off the building because she thought she could fly like a bird was worth at least a few things taken off of his work load.

 **LATER**

"OW! SON OF A BITCH!" JC yelled as he just took a shield to the face.

"I'm sorry!" Pyrrha had to remember she had to be gentle with him.

It would be so much easier if he had Aura, that way she could train him easily. But the humans of Earth were much more fragile.

"I'm okay!" He said as he prepared his tomahawk and knife.

"You know, that may not be the most suitable weapon for this." She said as she prepared a sword and shield she had borrowed for their match.

They were dull training swords and shields of course, apparently JC was trying to get into HEMA, and he had a bunch of the gear in his house. Luckily he was finally getting some use for it.

"I know, but to be honest, this is the only weapon I'm sort of good with." He said as he sucked at everything else.

"I see, well you still need some pointers, you may want to ask Ren, he may be more suitable since his weapons are closer to yours." She said with a smile.

JC may have been a drunken Idiot, but if there was one thing she did find admirable about him. It was his 'Don't give up' attitude.

Course, it may have just been stubbornness. But her point still stands.

"WWWOOOOOAAAHHH!" They heard a scream as they rushed back inside.

"WHAT'S WRONG?!" JC yelled as he looked into his kitchen.

Only to see Ruby had the fridge door open and was shoving his cookie dough ice cream in her mouth.

"RUBY! That's my-" He was cut off by an evil glare.

 _ **"STAY AWAY!"**_ She yelled as she was starving because of those damn pot cookies.

"I think...I just pissed myself." JC said as he looked down.

"Oh, never mind." He said as he was relieved.

But seriously that was scary as hell. Who knew the cute gothic lolita had an evil side?

Yang just pulled him back. She knew from experience never to get in between a pissed off, tired and hungry Ruby and her food. At this point, it was wise to just let her be. Ruby was crouched on the floor eating the ice cream from the carton as if she was Smeagol from Lord of the rings. Whatever that weed did to her, it really must have messed her up. Once again, she was eating ice cream like Smeagol ate fish from Lord of the rings.

And then...

POP!

"Huh? What happened? Where am I?" She asked as she looked down.

"Ice cream? How did I get this?" She said as she took a bite.

"Hey guys! What's wrong?" She asked as everyone was staring at her with weird looks on their faces.

"Ruby..." JC said.

"Yeah?" She asked with those puppy dog eyes.

"Whatever you do, don't take food from strangers." He said as she remembered.

"Oh yeah! That one guy gave me cookies and then...I don't remember." She said as Yang sat her down.

"Ruby, those cookies were drugged, you ended up dancing on the roof of the library." She said as Ruby blushed.

"Oh god..did anyone see me?" She asked as Jaune pulled out his scroll.

"I got this." He said as it switched to a clip of Ruby.

 _"I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, SHAKE IT OFF!"_ She was singing Taylor Swift while shaking her hips with her back turned to the world, while she faced the library.

"Oh Oum...How embarrassing." She said as she covered her face with her cloak.

"Yeah, why the heck did you sing Taylor Swift?" JC asked with a sad look on his face.

Nobody should sing Taylor Swift, except back when she was in pop country.

And yes, there is a difference between Pop Country and country.

You can't compare Johnny Cash to that asshole Blake Shelton.

Johnny Cash is real country, Blake Shelton is a pussy.

And why is the author writing his personal opinions right now?


	7. A night of fun

**WELL GUYS THE RESULTS ARE IN! THE WINNER OF THE POLL IS...**

 **DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN**

 **Actually we have a tie between Winter and Glynda. So the poll will close next chapter.**

 **If you voted for either one, please PM as to why you think that would be a good pairing.**

* * *

"Where are Jaune and JC?" Ruby said as Pyrrha shrugged.

"They're in his room." Nora said as they all heard noises.

"Ah damn..." They heard JC as they heard heavy breathing.

"Okay you got to relax, or this isn't going to work." Jaune said as they all leaned up against the door.

"I'm sorry, but this is really hard to get used to." JC said as they all blushed.

Blake meanwhile was trying really hard not to squeal.

"Look, you're the one who wanted this." Jaune said as Pyrrha was blushing all to hell.

"I know, but doesn't mean I can't complain about how uncomfortable it can be." He said with a grunt.

"Look, just bend your knees a little more and relax." Jaune said as they heard a few more breaths.

"Like this?" JC asked as Blake had a bit of a nosebleed going.

"That's better, now rock your hips a little bit more." Jaune said as Pyrrha was starting to leave scratches in the door.

"Ooooooh, I'm starting to feel something." JC moaned out.

"Good, its supposed to be like that, now lets switch positions." Jaune said as Pyrrha finally snapped.

"OKAY MISTER! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO-" She cut herself off.

She saw that Jaune and JC were fully clothed, although Jaune was in baggier clothes, and JC was in a muscle shirt and short shorts. **(1)**

They weren't doing anything, in fact she noticed that Jaune was giving him dance lessons. Like he asked Jaune for earlier...right in front of her in fact. She hid her face in embarrassment as she couldn't believe she thought of anything else. Blake in the mean time was writing something down in a notebook.

"Oh hey guys! Just teaching him how to dance, remember how I couldn't fight when I came to Beacon? He's like me, except in this case, he can't dance for shit." Jaune said as JC caught his breath.

"Either way, thanks for the lessons, I needed to learn something so I don't look like the 'obviously' white kid at a dance club." He said as his friends always took him to Dance clubs to see him dance.

They usually all drunk and had a good laugh about it. But he was sick of being the butt of everyone's joke.

"Why did you burst in here?" JC asked as Pyrrha blushed and hid her face.

"What's the matter? Are you sick?" Jaune said as he got really close to her.

Only for Pyrrha to see that his muscles were glistening from the sweat that had occured as he was teaching JC how to dance. She had to admit, after that whole mistaken sex thing, seeing him look good was a welcome relief.

"Oh, I'm fine, I just, I need a drink." She said as JC spoke up.

"Water only, you're still a minor." He said as Pyrrha nodded, but Yang groaned.

"Come on! How come you have to be one of those kind of adults?" She asked as JC rolled his eyes.

"Because I don't want Jesus to be mad at me." He said as he did the sign of the cross and kissed his hand and held it up to the sky.

Never say that he wasn't a man of faith.

"Ugh, fine, I won't drink." Yang said as she really wanted a strawberry sunrise.

"Oh my! Yang! He's got juice boxes!" Ruby got all excited at finding the juicy juice box.

"Why do you have juice boxes?" Weiss asked a little weirded out.

"I like juice and I like boxes." He said, well that, and he got a great deal on them.

"How can you be such an adult, but so childish at the same time?" Ren asked.

"As the Fourth Doctor once said, 'There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.'" He said as Ren looked confused.

"Who?" He asked.

"The Fourth doctor." JC said.

"Doctor who?" He said as JC smiled.

"Exactly." He said as he was so glad he could use that joke now.

"So what are we going to do?" Nora asked as they all sat down to eat.

JC was screaming on the inside, when he took them into his house. He never expected them to eat so much. Ruby within the past few days had eaten about three jars of cookie dough. And don't even get started on the amount of food Nora ate, it was downright insane. How was she not fat? Luckily the others ate a reasonable amount. So he didn't go too broke.

Still though, he had to break into his emergency stash of money that he hid in his sock drawer in an old condom box.

That way nobody would go searching for it.

"Well, I think since it's friday, we can go out on the town, after all, its been a few days since the incident at beacon, and you all have been pretty well behaved, I suppose we could go out...BUT!" He yelled making Nora stand at attention.

"Nora, no beating people up with foam weapons again." He said as she nodded.

"Ruby, don't take cookies or candy from strangers." He said as Ruby nodded.

"Yang, no fighting." She begrugindly nodded.

"Weiss, don't act like an Ice queen all night." He said as she growled.

"Blake, uh...you're well behaved I guess." He said as she was still reading his smut novels.

"As for the rest of Team JNPR." He said as he turned to them.

"Ren, try and be a bit more social." He requested.

"Jaune, dance with Pyrrha tonight." He said as he looked confused.

"Wait wh-" He was confused.

Meanwhile JC gave a thumbs up to Pyrrha.

"And Pyrrha, keep an eye on Jaune." He said as she smiled.

"Now, there's supposed to be a huge event happening at the student center, basically they bring in crafts/hobbies/and different people to show the students a good time. That should be fun, there's dancing, laser tag, stuff like that." He said as anything beat being stuck in here.

"What else?" Blake asked.

"I don't know, probably food." He said as Nora and Ruby stood up.

"WE'RE IN!" They both shouted as JC chuckled.

"Okay, then get ready in an hour." He said as he stood up to go change out of his workout outfit.

* * *

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"Oh boy! I'm so excited again!" Ruby said as they were all sitting down on the bus.

"Let's just try and keep things normal this time.." JC said.

"Don't worry! We'll keep Ruby away from any suspicious cookies!" Nora said.

"And?" Jc asked.

"And I won't hurt anybody with foam weapons." She said.

"And?" He asked again.

"And I promise not to go too crazy." She said as JC nodded.

"Good, well we're just about there." He said as they pulled up to the student center.

"Hey Huskies! Have a good time!" One of the bubbly attendents said as they went inside.

"OH BOY! BROWNIES!" Nora and Ruby rushed over to the table.

"Those should be safe since the kitchen staff supplied those." JC said in relief.

"Whats that?" Pyrrha and Jaune asked as they saw a dark room.

"Must be the laser tag people setting up, they usually have rifles for the guns, if you want to go try it out." He said as they both walked over to that room.

Leaving JC with Yang, Blake, Weiss, and Ren.

"Well, what are we all going to do?" He asked as Blake stood up.

"I would actually like to go to the library." She said as JC shrugged.

"Sure, just be back here by 10." He said as he didn't want them to stay out too late.

Ruby did have a strict bedtime.

"I was hoping to go to that strectching class over there." Yoga said as JC looked over in that direction.

"Thats a Yoga class Ren...have fun." He said as he was a little weirded out.

"And you two?" He asked as Weiss looked around.

"Well, there's karaoke over there..." She said as she walked over to the karaoke machine.

"And you?" He asked Yang.

"Race you on the obstacle course?" She said as they had a giant inflatable course set up.

"You're on!" He said as he laughed.

Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad.

 **PYRRHA AND JAUNE**

 **ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

"WHO IS DOING THAT?!" A student yelled out as they kept getting hit.

"There are only two people on the other team! It must be one of you team killing fucktards!" A guy wearing a light blue shirt said.

"SHUT THE HELL UP TUCKER!" His friend yelled.

"Dang Pyrrha, even with this, you're good." Jaune said as he was taking cover behind a fake tree.

"Common side effect of a lot of marksman training." She said as she slid out and fired laser after laser into the chest plate receivers of the enemy team.

"OH COME ON!" The leader yelled as he was getting pissed.

"Huh, I'm surprised you're enjoying competing this much right now." Jaune said as Pyrrha was right next to him.

"Well, nobody knows me as the invincible girl here, its quite nice." She said as they got ready to strike again.

Unaware, that they were bonding even more. All thanks to JC's nefarious plan.

 **WEISS**

Weiss had started singing karaoke for five minutes. And already she had adoring fans disguised as Music majors asking her for advice.

"How often do you practice?!" A male student said.

"Have you always had such a wonderful voice!" A blond woman said.

"WILL YOU MAKE OUT WITH ME?!" A perverted woman in the back yelled.

"Uhm, I just want to have fun.." Weiss said as they backed off.

"Geez, even here people are obsessed with my singing." She said as she sat down and waited for someone else to take their turn.

"Hey Weiss..." JC and Yang showed up.

"What happened to him?" Weiss asked as he was out of breath.

"I challenged him to a race, and he kept trying to beat me, and now he's almost dead." She said as JC was wheezing.

"What the hell was I thinking, challenging a huntress to a battle of stamina." He said as Weiss chuckled.

"Could be worse, you could have challenged her to a fist fight." This was the first time Weiss had joked around with JC.

In all honesty, she thought he was a sarcastic dick. Which he was, but it was good to see that he had a softer side.

"That will be the day I try and steal cookies from Ruby." He said as they all sat down and had a cup of punch.

Things weren't so bad after all.

 **RUBY AND NORA**

"Good god..." A student said.

"How are they still going?" Another one said.

"That can't be possible." A teacher said.

"They've eaten over fifty brownies and cookies." Another attendee said.

"And they're still going." Another one finished.

"You're not beating me Ruby!" Nora said as Ruby and her were in an eating contest.

"You don't know who you're dealing with!" She yelled back as she had a cookie in one hand, and a brownie in the other.

"Oh I know who I'm dealing with, a soon to be loser!" She said as she was taking handfuls of food.

The students weren't even mad that they were eating so much, they were actually impressed, and they started bringing over more plates to see when they would stop. Although they didn't even seem to be slowing down.

 **REN**

Ren had to admit, there was one bad part about taking Yoga.

Every single girl in here...had a really nice ass. Which was encased in tight leggings.

Ren was not a pervert, but when you're in a pose that requires you to look forward, and you're in rows of people, you tend to notice that there are a lot of asses. And being a man, it was hard not to show a reaction.

"Why did I choose to go to this?" Ren had never felt so dirty and perverted in his life.

He wanted to get out of there, but at the same time, he also needed to finish this routine.

Not because he liked the view, but because it was a thirty minute routine, and he hated cutting out early.

 **BLAKE**

Blake was reading multiple books in the library, ranging from history to science. She found Earth fascinating. Their planet and land was much more abundant than Remnant. But in some ways, it was also a lot more primitive. These people didn't rely on dust, they relied on resources like fossil fuels and Nuclear power, both of which were potentially dangerous. Well, potentially, Nuclear power seemed to be fairly safe, despites risk of a reactor meltdown.

But the book that had caught her attention, was one written in a strange language.

 _Kama Sutra_

Once she saw it, she knew she had to have it.

"Uhm excuse me." She said as she walked up to the library attendant, who was a really cute girl.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I noticed you said some of the books were for sale." She said pointing to the sign on the wall.

"Oh yeah, we need to make room for some new ones, would you like to buy one?" She said as Blake gave her the book and money she had borrowed from JC.

"Ooooohhhhh." The girl said teasingly. Blake blushed.

"Oh don't worry sweetie, we all feel that urge." She said as she whispered in Blake's ears.

"You know...if you still feel that urge, you can come by the dorms tonight, I can help you with that...itch." She said as she breathed into Blake's ear.

Blake blushed like crazy, bought her book and ran out of there.

"Oh, she's shy, that's cute." The girl said as she went back to attending books.

Blake thought there was no way this could get any weirder.

"HEY THERE!" She heard a voice as she turned to see someone.

Or something.

"My name is Foxy Moonblood!" The man said dressed in a giant fox suit.

 _"What...The...FUCK?!"_ Blake screamed internally.

"And this is my girlfriend Thievia Raccoona!" He said as a woman dressed as a Raccoon came up.

"Hey there kitty!" She said as Blake panicked.

CRAP! SHE FORGOT HER HAT AT HOME! THAT'S WHY SHE FELT WEIRD! OH NO! THEY WOULD THINK SHE WAS SOME SORT OF FRE-

"CUTE EARS! Wow they look so real!" Raccoon lady said as she petted them.

 _"Wait...what?"_ Blake thought.

"Hey they do look real!" Foxy said as he also put them.

Okay this was getting weird.

"Kitty, I am so jealous as to how you managed to make such a realistic pair of cat ears! They look like they are really glued to your head! Oh if only I could find a pair like those!" Raccoon said as Blake never felt so confused in her life.

 _"They...like them? They...want them?"_ This was something completely new.

"Well, we got to get back to the group! But nice to meet you!" They said as they left.

Leaving Blake to realize.

Those were some strange humans.

They dressed like Animals.

They wanted Animal features.

And they were jealous of a faunus.

This would take some getting used to.

"Hey wait up!" She said as she wanted to learn more.

Whats the worse that could happen? They seemed friendly enough? **(2)**

* * *

 **(1) Think Matthew Mcconaughey's gym attire in magic mike.**

 **(2) Look, I'm going to make fun of furries, if you're easily offended, or if you are a furry, turn away now.**


	8. The furry fang

**Okay, so apparently everyone loved the last chapter because of furries. Never thought I would say that. Anyways, this chapter is kind of slow, and kind of weak compared to the others, mostly because I was running low on ideas. And I need to focus on midterms.**

 **Anyways, the final poll is in. The winner was Winter with 13 votes!**

 **Glynda: 12**

 **Coco:6**

 **Velvet:5**

 **Honestly option:4**

 **Ironwood:2**

 **Different non creepy pairing:2**

 **Qrow:1**

 **Ha, Qrow is in last place, sorry for the one guy or girl who wanted Qrow. I'm surprised it came down to Winter and Glynda, Coco was originally in the lead, but democracy wins, and those who voted for Winter will get winter.**

* * *

"Oooooohhhh." Ruby and Nora were now on the ground.

The students were just looking at them, thinking there was no humanly way possible they could have eaten that much, and not thrown up by now.

"They're not human.." One student said while looking at their figure and realizing they were still skinny.

The two meanwhile had looks of satisfaction. As if all was right in the world. That and JC felt a sense of happiness because now he wouldn't have to feed them so much food if they engorged themselves on sweets.

"Hey guys..." Ren came over from his yoga routine.

"Hi Ren! Why are you blushing?" Nora asked as Ren face palmed.

"I don't want to talk about it..." He said as all he could think about was booty, booty, booty rocking everywhere!

"Hey you guys." Weiss and the others came over.

"So did you guys have fun?" JC asked.

"A fair amount, where are Jaune and Pyrrha?" Ruby asked as JC pointed over to the dance floor.

Only to see that they were dancing the soles off of their shoes together.

"Awww, they are so cute together." Yang said.

"Tell me about it." Weiss said as she was glad he stopped flirting with her.

"Damn it Church!" Two men were arguing in the corner.

"Don't try to pin this on me Tucker! You're the one who couldn't shoot for shit!" The man argued back as JC felt very confused.

"Wait a minute, those two, why do they sound familiar?" He asked as he knew the voices.

"Wait a minute, guys...where's Blake?" Weiss asked as she was looking around.

"She was supposed to be back here by now." JC went up to one of the student supervisors.

"Excuse me, did you see our black haired friend wearing a kitty t shirt? She came in here with us?" He asked as she nodded.

"Oh yeah, the one who likes cosplay?" She said as they all looked confused.

"Cosplay?" Yang asked.

"I figured the cat ears on her head were a dead giveaway." She said as everyone panicked a little.

They had all remembered Blake forgot her hat at home. But, relieved that she thought she was a cosplayer.

"So do you remember where she went?" Yang asked a little worried.

"Oh yeah, she started talking to the local furry group." She said as JC freaked out.

"SHIT!" He yelled as he ran out.

"Wait! Where are you going?!" Weiss yelled.

"We have to get her away from those people!" JC yelled.

"Why? What are furries?" Yang asked.

"Basically people who roleplay dressed up as anthropomorphic animals." He said as Ruby raised an eyebrow.

"That doesn't sound too bad..." She said.

"By itself, no...it's what happens with this local furry group that you have to worry about." He said as they all followed him.

"Why? What happens?!" Yang asked suddenly worried.

JC turned and looked at them with a serious look in his eyes, thats how they knew that he wasn't joking around anymore. He may have been an eccentric, odd, weird, downright alcoholic. But this time he actually needed them to listen.

"Trust me...something you don't want to witness."

* * *

 **BLAKE**

"Wow! This is great!" Blake said as she felt comfortable in this group.

"Oh we're a pretty close group. What? Have you never been to one?" A furry dressed as a wolf said as Blake nodded.

"Yeah, I don't really get out too often." She said shyly.

Who would have thought that humans would be so tolerant of her ears?

"Well I'm glad you came." The wolf furry said she hugged Blake.

"Uhm, thank you." She said not being used to this kind of affection.

"Still though, did you superglue those to your head?" A bear said as he saw they were connected with Blake's scalp.

"Uh, I kind of messed up with the glue I was using..." She said trying to make an excuse.

"Oh sweetie, you should make a mask like cat, with those ears, you could pull it off easily." Foxy said as he was petting her ears.

Blake had to admit, it was nice being around such nice and tolerant human beings. They didn't have these kind of humans back home. But she liked how they seemed to have an appreciation for the faunus. Granted they didn't know about the faunus, but it was still a nice feeling.

Over the course of the party, she noticed some of the furries would leave to go into a big room. She didn't know what was in it?

"Sooooo, are you in a relationship Kitty?" Bear said as she shook her head.

"No, my..last one didn't go over so well." She said as Bear sighed.

"Oh that's a shame,you're quite a catch." He said as he brushed her cheek.

Okay, now it was getting a little weird.

"Say, do you want to have a good time?" Foxy said with a grin.

"Uh, I suppose, that's what I came here for." She said as she was looking to have fun.

JC did tell her to have fun. But it was already ten, but she was sure he wouldn't mind waiting a bit longer.

"Well, why don't you come into the back with us! We promise, its a LOT of fun." Raccoon said as they all stood up.

"Sure, why not?" She said unaware of what she was getting into.

She got up and walked over to the door that led to the back room. She wondered what they had in there. Games? Food? Drinks.

"Here we go!" Foxy said as he opened the door.

Only for Blake to scream in horror.

"MOOOOOO!" She heard one person in a cow costume moan out as she saw a wolf was mounted on top of him.

"BARK BARK BARK!" Someone dressed as a dog barked out as he was with a cat furry.

"Having fun guys?" Foxy said as they all made animal noises in agreement.

"So Kitty want to...Kitty? Where did you go?" Blake was no where to be seen.

* * *

 **OUTSIDE**

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Blake yelled out as she couldn't believe what she had just seen.

All of those people, they all just started SCREWING!

"BLAKE!" She heard Yang yell out.

"Blake! We were worried! JC started freaking out and-" She was cut off by Blake shaking her.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" She yelled as JC came up.

"Blake...Please tell me you didn't hang out with the furries." He pleaded with he.

"They...They seemed so nice at first. They complimented my ears, but then they all-" She was cut off by a voice.

"KITTY?! WHERE DID YOU GO!" Foxy's voice yelled out.

"OH SHIT! RUN!" JC yelled as Yang picked up Blake.

"SOMEONE HAS KITTY! COME ON FURRIES! CHARGE!" Bear yelled as they all gave chase.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" JC yelled as they started running.

All while a giant horde of anthropomorphic rabbits, foxes, cats, and dogs chased after them.

"WEISS! CAN YOU BRING UP A GLYPH TO STOP THEM?!" Ruby yelled.

"NOT IN FRONT OF THIS MANY PEOPLE!" She yelled back.

The last time she used a glyph in this world, there were no witnesses, since they were all either in class or busy studying. But now they had a bunch of people in animal costumes chasing after them, and that was over fifty witnesses. According to JC, they couldn't do it in front of witnesses because.

" _You don't know what the hell the government will do if they find out about you!"_ Were his exact words.

Why he didn't seem to like his government was beyond her. But something tells her it was like her sister, just because she had love for kingdom, doesn't mean you had to like the government.

"BRING US BACK KITTY!" Foxy the furry leader said as they all were yelling.

"Crap! We got to do something!" Yang said as Jaune turned to Nora.

"Should I?" She asked as Jaune looked at JC.

"Should she?" He asked as JC shook his head.

"Something tells me beating the hell out of them would only make it worse. No we need something more fool proof." He said as he tried to think of a plan.

But he couldn't think of one...they were screwed.

Unless of course they sacrificed Blake to the furries. But she made it clear that was not an option.

"JC, I think this is our only choice!" Jaune yelled as Nora was itching for a fight.

"I...I..." He didn't know what to do.

"FINE! Give the order!" He said as he hoped they didn't get sued for this.

"NORA! SMASH!" Jaune said.

"Got it..." She said with a grin.

"BUT DO IT QUICKLY!" He said as Nora sped off.

"Jesus...Please forgive me for what I just allowed to happen." He said as they hid behind a corner.

"OW! SHE PUNCHED ME IN THE BALLS!" A voice yelled out.

"MY UDDERS!"

"NOOO! MY FOX EARS!"

"WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" They heard the sound of something tearing.

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" Anyone could hear the screams.

"What have we done?" Jaune said as Nora came walking back.

"Okay, they won't be bothering us again." She said as they looked at her with fear.

"You...You didn't kill them right?" JC asked.

"Nope! Instead I ripped up their costumes!" She said as JC sighed.

"In that case, let's get out of here." He said as they all boarded the nearest bus.

Foxy was laying in what was left of his suit. Nothing but a fox head, and a bunch of scrap fabric. He looked up into the sky. Fury written on his face. It was the fault of those damn humans! They didn't understand their plight! They were comfortable in their regular human bodies! But did they know what it was like to want extra features? NO! Humans were praised for their lifestyle, but Furries were mocked for theirs! They deserved equal rights.

"That...Monster." Bear said as he turned out to be a fat old guy underneath.

"We must have our revenge." An ox furry said as he stood up.

"For too long have we lived under the boot of the humans! Clearly living peacefully has done nothing! We need to show them that we will not take this anymore! We need to fight back! We need to organize!" The ox said as every one of them watched him.

"So form a new group?" One of them asked.

"What should we call it?" A dog furry said.

"I don't know...the white fang?" The Ox furry said.

"Hey that sounds pretty cool!"

* * *

 **LATER**

JC set down a bottle of kinky liqueur in front of Blake.

"I thought you said we weren't allowed to drink?" She said as JC sighed.

"Considering you were almost part of a furry orgy. You need this." He said as he poured her a glass.

Blake took the drink and swallowed it instantly. She just couldn't believe it. The tolerant humans she thought she had found, turned out to only want to hang out with her because they wanted to use her for some crazy coked up animal ORGY! She shivered every time she thought of it, she may have been a closet pervert, but even she had boundaries. JC had explained to them all what had happened, and they had various reactions. Yang was laughing, Ruby still didn't know what was going on, Nora didn't listen, Ren had a disturbed face. Jaune nearly gagged, and Pyrrha was a little disturbed. Weiss meanwhile suddenly found a group she disliked more than the white fang.

"I...I just don't believe it." She said as she looked at JC.

"My whole life, I wanted nothing more than equality for humans and faunus..." She said as JC got the feeling he was going to get a long backstory.

"But tonight...tonight..." She trailed off.

"You suddenly don't like humans?" He asked.

"No! I am not saying that, I'm just saying, humans don't need to get THAT comfortable with our animal features. I always wanted us to see each other not as faunus or humans, but as people...but they seemed to have turned a fetish out of our natural gifts... and thats way too tolerant for my tastes." She said as that freaked her out.

Fetishes were okay, but she retained the right to freak out.

"Well, hate to tell you, but furries are all over the world here, let's just hope that you remember your hat next time, and that we won't run into anymore." He said as he turned on Netflix.

"Now, why don't we all just watch Netflix and relax for the rest of the night, Lord knows I need it." He said as he took a swig of whiskey.

He had to admit, he was expecting worse.


	9. Beware the Mcconaughey

**Well guys, I have to slow down the updates. Mostly because school is my top priority along with work. Quitting smoking is going well, haven't had a cigarette or a cigar in awhile. Cut down on my drinking to one cheat day a weak. Now I just need to cut out sugary junk food from my diet.**

* * *

 **AT THE HOUSE**

"Wow, these Hatfields are dickheads..." Yang said.

"I don't know, the Mccoys seem to be big jerks too..." Ruby said.

JC had put on Hatfields and Mccoys, he personally liked westerns, and the show was technically based on History. Which made it even better. Granted he didn't know how many details weren't included, or were changed. But it seemed to be pretty good so far. Blake struggled with watching it at first. She couldn't understand how the humans in the beginning could be killing each other, and over what? Some sort of Civil War?

According to JC, it was fought over a disagreement of land, government vs state rights. And of course, the issue of Slavery. Never in her life had Blake ever heard of humans owning other humans as slaves. But when she had access to a computer, she realized that this was a dark world.

The barbary slave trade...the irish slave trade...slaves taken by turks during conquest of europe...the african slave trade.

Sure they did have slavery in their world, but it was mostly human's selling Faunus. This, this really gave her the chills. To be honest, she felt scared. Especially when she came across a group she wished she had never learned about...

The Nazis.

JC had turned off the computer the moment she found that. He said there was enough depressing things in the world without having to bring up shit from the past. He may have loved history, but they had to stop acting like they were still living in the past. Something a lot of people seemed to forget.

"Hey JC, can I go on this site?" Nora asked.

"What's it called?" He asked as he was cooking chicken breast on his George Forman.

"Something called Tumb-" She started.

"NO! DO NOT GO THERE!" He yelled as everyone was slightly startled.

"Why?" Weiss asked wondering why he freaked out.

"It's populated by the darkest, vilest, and most disgusting creatures on the face of the earth..." He said in a dark tone.

"Grimm?" Blake suggested.

"No, Social Justice Warriors." He said.

"What are-" Weiss asked.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." He said as no one needed to be exposed to them.

"So, does this Mulan person seem familiar to you?" Ren said as Nora had put on a disney movie.

She apparently really loved Disney, considering she asked to borrow JC's tablet so she could watch them on Netflix.

"I don't know, but she does seem familiar." She said as she looked at Ren.

Then at Mulan.

Back to Ren.

Back to Mulan.

Back to Ren.

"Nah, it's probably nothing." She said to herself.

Pyrrha and Jaune were sitting closer on one of the couches. JC was smirking and giving Nora a thumbs up. Indicating that Operation Arkos was going smoothly.

"Oh hey! This looks like fun!" Ruby said as she put on a tv show that JC didn't bother to look at.

"Oh look at the cute little animals!" Ruby said as Weiss was sitting next to her.

"I agree, they look positively adorable!" Weiss said as they were watching what appeared to be two tiny woodland critters operating a lemonade stand.

"Why are they focusing on the knife cutting through the lemon?" Ruby asked as she tilted her head.

 _"Wait a second...Woodland creatures with a lemonade stand? Sharp knife? That sounds like...OH SHIT!"_ JC turned around, but he was too late.

A nail fell onto the screen, just as the lemonade stand sign fell from its perch and ripped the face off of one of the creatures.

 _"AAHHHHHHHHHH!"_ The creature screamed in agony.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ruby and Weiss screamed as they hugged each other.

"Fucking happy tree friends..." JC said as he should have been supervising them.

The other woodland creature freaked out and spit Lemonade on the open face wound. Only for it to burn the little creature even more, prolonging its agony.

"WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE MONSTROSITY?!" Weiss yelled at JC.

"Uhm...yeah, next time, you might not want to click on something without reading the description." He said as Blake was now watching the screen.

Only for the sign to break off again and crush the skull of the blue skunk creature, and its eyeball to fall out of its socket.

"WHAT IN THE?!" She yelled out.

"DUDE?! WHAT KIND OF SHIT DO YOU PEOPLE WATCH?!" Yang yelled as JC turned off that show.

"Okay guys, first off, let's calm down, what you just saw...is a show made up from the minds of some sick bastards who have been tricking parents into watching a gory show with their kids...lets just let it go." He said as he really didn't want to explain it.

After all, it was still pretty fucked up that they had a show featuring cute little animals being murdered in absolutely horrifying ways. The worst part was that it was sometimes funny.

"Okay, lets just put something else on..." He said as he put it on random.

Only for a video of a prostitute coming up from sucking a dwarf's cock.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Yang said as she covered Ruby's eyes.

 _"Oh that reminds me, I need to catch up on game of thrones."_ He said as he remembered this was the first episode of season 1.

"Wait! Go back!" Blake said as she wanted to hear the story behind that.

"EW! NO!" Yang said as she pressed a button that changed the show again.

 _"SPARTANS! TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!"_ Yang saw a gorgeous bearded man in a leather speedo wearing a cape and shield.

"Hubba Hubba!" She said as she felt very excited all of a sudden.

"Hey those guys kind of remind me of your weapons!" Jaune said to Pyrrha.

"A little.." She said as the sword and shield definately looked similar to her weapons.

"Change it!" Nora said as she got bored.

 _"Alright...Alright...Alright..."_ They heard a voice say as JC freaked out.

"Ohmygod! Its' Matthew Mcconaughey!" He said as he freaked out like a teen girl...

What? Matthew Mcconaughey is fucking gorgeous!

"Okay dude, seriously, I may have been freaking out over epic beard guy, but you freaking out over this Mcconaughey guy is creepy." Yang said as she looked at him.

"Just because he has nice hair, a perfect jawline, those...deep eyes...that perfect muscle tone, tight ass...what the hell is happening to me?!" Yang said as she was dazed and confused.

"Oh please, stop drooling over him, just because he looks absolutely gorgeous, especially with that...sexy accent, and just absolutely breathtaking smile...WHAT THE HELL?!" Weiss had to snap out of a daze.

"Don't mess with the Mcconaughey..." JC said as nobody could resist him.

It was like trying to say the Mona Lisa wasn't a work of art...you couldn't say it.

"Yang...he's making me feel something..." Ruby said as she couldn't help but stare at him.

 _"Alright...Alright...Alright..."_ Mcconaughey said on screen as Ruby felt shivers go through her body.

"OKAY THATS IT!" Yang said as she turned off the tv.

"Hey!" Blake said as she was trying to get a good look.

All she got was a glimpse of the Mcconaughey, and it left her wanting more.

"Listen Blakey! If that guy was enough to make Ruby feel something, we're in serious uncharted territory here!" Yang said as JC looked at Ruby in shock.

"I always thought she was asexual or something..." JC said as he could never imagine her being with anyone on the show.

Sure some people shipped Lancaster, but he always got the feeling Jaune and Ruby were more like the adorkable best friends rather than lovers.

"But I didn't even get a good look!" Blake whined, she wanted more!

She had already read all the smut in the house, she needed a fix!

Nora was completely unaffected by the gorgeous hunk of man meat on the screen, mostly because she instead focused on the hunk of man meat that was Ren. And as luck would have it, the accent saying 'alright, alright, alright' while paired with her staring at Ren deeply in the eyes, had acted somewhat as a conduit for her love, almost as if they had awakened feelings that they didn't even know they had.

"Hmmm..." Jaune wanted to try something.

"Hey Pyrrha." He said as she looked at him.

Their faces were close together, one was waiting for the other to make a move, hoping that the other one wouldn't reject them. Jaune felt awkward, he needed to do something to break the awkward silence. But what?

"Uh...Alright...Alright...Alright?" He said trying to imitate the sexy, sexy man on the tv.

"*giggles* Oh Jaune, thats so adorable." She said as she hugged him close.

 _"Holy crap, Thank you sexy man on the TV!"_ Jaune said as Pyrrha was cuddling him.

Meanwhile the author was wondering why he was rushing their relationship so fast...well the truth of the matter was, because he wanted to, and because the only thing waiting did for him, was give him a ten second kiss scene for Arkos, only for it to be ripped away minutes later. So it was his way of trying to change the past.

That and because the Mcconaughey fixes everything.

After calming themselves down. They decided not to watch the TV anymore.

"So...what now?" JC said as he saw Blake was using a tablet.

"What are you doing with that?" He said as Blake hid the screen from him.

"Nothing!" She said as he took it out of her hands.

Only for a massive blush to envelop his face, and to give it back to her.

"You...You need help..." He said as he walked away.

He knew that the fandom generally accepted Blake as being a smut addict. But who would have thought that she would have been reading erotica on his tablet. Even worse yet, the fact that she might have used his credit card to pay for some of that erotica.

Great, that would be a fun way to explain his credit card bill if anyone ever saw it.

"Is there a workshop I can use?" Ruby asked.

"There's a small area of the garage next to my truck with some tool and scrap steel, knock yourself out." He said as she ran downstairs.

"Got a punching bag?" Yang asked.

"Old ratty one underneath the deck." He said as Yang shrugged and decided that was better than nothing.

"Any good movies for Pyrrha and I to watch?" Jaune said hoping he would catch the hint.

 _"Please recommend a good romantic movie."_ Was Jaune's underlaying message.

"Yeah sure, tons on my dvd shelf, or you can look at the collection on top of the cupboard." JC said.

 _"Yep, but if you want a romantic one, I put them on top of the cupboard, that way I always know where they are, if I need to pretend I'm a romantic."_ Was the underlying message.

"Thanks, I'll check them out." Jaune said with a smile.

 _"Thanks Bro, Bro code!"_ He said with a slight tap of his fist to the chest.

"Yeah, no problem, now if you excuse me, I have to go work on homework." He said as he also did a slight tap to his chest.

 _"Bro code for life."_ JC said with a peace sign.

Honestly there was no point to writing that scene, I just needed something to make the chapter longer. Besides this is mostly filler anyways.

"So what are we going to do now?" Nora said as they were getting bored in the house.

"Well...I have to go home tomorrow..." He said as he couldn't believe he was going to day this.

"And I think I'll have to bring you with." He said as everyone else who was still in the room became very attentive.

"What?" Ren asked.

"Well, I can't leave you here by yourselves! Especially with Nora being a ticking time bomb of energy!" He said as Nora tried to deny it, but she couldn't.

"As much as I don't want to...I think I should take you all home...to meet the folks..."

Oh he was going to regret this.


	10. Meet the Folks

**Okay, here we go. Some details have been changed in this chapter from my actual life. Since lets face it, some of the stuff I'm about to say is obviously not how my life actually is...I hope.**

* * *

"Why do Jaune and Pyrrha get the front seat?!" Ruby said as those two were allowed to sit up front with JC.

"Because they're the tallest, that back seat is torture for anyone who is tall, so the shorter ones in the back." He said as he didn't look back.

He could only fit six people in his truck, Jaune and Pyrrha had height, so he put them in the front with him. While Weiss, Ruby, and Nora were in the backseat.

BUMP

"OW!" They heard Yang yell.

Oh and he put Ren, Blake, and Yang in the truck bed underneath a cover.

"Sorry!" He yelled as he had to slow down for bumps.

"You know! It's a miracle you haven't been pulled over by the cops yet!" Blake yelled from the truck bed underneath the tonneau cover.

"If you keep quiet, we won't have to worry about that!" He yelled back as he suddenly looked back at the road.

"Oh they are going to hate me..." He said as he took a look.

They were coming up on the infamous grenade blast road, nothing but pot holes and bumpy roads.

BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

"OW! OW! OW! OW!" Blake, Yang, and Ren were officially bumping heads in the truck bed.

"Wow, suddenly backseat doesn't suck." Ruby said as Nora pointed something out.

"Why didn't you just have Yang, Blake, and Ren sit on our laps?" She said as JC stopped the truck.

"Oh...I didn't think of that." He said as he pulled over to the side of the road.

"Hey guys! You can get out, Nora came up with the idea to GURK!" He was cut off by Yang's hand shooting out of the truck bed and choking him.

"YOU...NEARLY...RUINED...MY...HAIR!" She said with her eyes blazing red.

"UGH! GAH! It..STILL LOOKS GOOD!" He choked out like he was Gollum from lord of the rings.

"Now Yang, lets just get in the back, I'm sure we can talk about this later." Blake said trying to calm her down.

Yang huffed and got out, while the backseat sucked, and was uncomfortable, she took her place in Ruby's lap, while Blake took a seat on Weiss, and Ren took a seat on Nora.

"Ha ha! Ren your butt is solid!" Nora said.

"Not now Nora..." He said as this was an embarassing position.

"Okay, back on the road." JC said trying to ignore the red bruise forming on his neck.

Great looked like he was part of some kinky sex party.

"How about we turn on some music?" Pyrrha said as the radio came on.

 _I never thought...that it was wise...to wish too much..._

A sad song came on the radio.

"NO! NOT AGAIN! NOT FUCKING AGAIN!" JC yelled as he changed the song.

"Are...Are you okay?" Jaune asked.

JC turned to him, and then at Pyrrha. Then to him, then back to Pyrrha.

"Jaune...whatever you do, Keep an eye on Pyrrha.." JC said as he suddenly remembered something.

Pyrrha was alive, but she was going to die. What was he supposed to do with that information?

"Uh, Okay, but I don't see..." He was cut off.

"Trust me, this could save a life...just keep an eye on her." JC said as it was the only time he seemed serious since they met him.

Whatever happened, it must have been devastating.

"Uhm, Okay." Neither Jaune or Pyrrha could understand why he was freaking out.

"Sooo, whats your parents house like?" Ruby asked trying to break the tension.

"Knowing him, probably a small shack." Weiss said unintentionally being a bitch.

"Ouch, uhm actually we're coming up on it." He said as he pulled into a driveway.

"Woah..." Yang said.

"Thats a big shack..." Blake said.

They saw a large white house, it wasn't a mansion, but one thing was sure, it was bigger than what they were expecting. There was a sailboat in the backyard, as well as a few expensive cars in the driveway.

"I...I honestly thought you were a country bumpkin..." Weiss said.

"Oh we are...that doesn't mean we can't have nice things..." JC said as he pulled into the garage.

"Now..let me do the talking..." He said as he suddenly heard barking.

"Oh boy here comes-" He was cut off as soon as they saw a large dog tackle him to the ground.

"BARK BARK!" He was soon being assaulted by a large wet tongue.

"Ah! Come on Zeus!" He said as he was laughing as he pushed the dog off of him.

"RUFF!" It barked happily as it sat down on its haunches.

It was a large st bernard/husky mix. It was a ton of fluff, and one of the most adorable dogs you had ever seen.

"Zeus! Look! New people!" He said as the dog turned his head fast.

"BARK BARK BARK!" He said as he got excited and wagged his tail.

He took turns sniffing every one of them. But it was when he froze and looked at Blake that she felt uncomfortable.

"No...No...No..." She said as she felt worried.

And she had a reason to, the dog tackled her to the ground and started to lick her all over.

"HEY! GET OFF!" Blake said as she was buried under about one hundred pounds of pure fluffiness.

"Awwww, he likes Blake!" Yang said as Ruby was gushing over how cute the dog was.

"OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH! You are just one of the cutest things I have ever seen." She said as she was petting the dog all over.

His response was to lay on his back and let the bubbly girl rub him all over.

"Well, that keeps Rubes occupied, now..." He was cut off by the door opening.

"Oh! DALE! HE BROUGHT A GIRL HOME!" A woman's voice yelled out as they went over to Weiss.

"No! Ma! Its not-" He was cut off as the lady grabbed Weiss by the face.

"Oh! Let Momma take a look at you! Oh Dale! Come and look at this!" She said as a man wearing a steyson and a 'Trump 2016' shirt walked over as he was drinking a bottle of wild turkey bourbon.

"Huh? Well what do we got here?!" He said as he went over...but not to Weiss, but to Nora.

"Now ain't you just the cutest thing I ever done seen?!" He said as he towered over Nora.

"No! Dad! Thats not-" He was cut off by his dad giving both Ren and Nora a giant bear hug.

"Dale! I meant this un!" His Momma yelled out as JC just walked over to the wall and started banging his head against the wall.

"What?! Whadda you mean?! Obviously he's dating this un!" He said as he took a swig of Wild Turkey.

"Maybe its just that bourbon going to your head, but he's obviously with this sophisticated young lady here!" His Mom said as Weiss never felt so uncomfortable.

"You been drinking too! I see that bottle of Pink Moscato sticking out of your Purse!" He said as JC finally yelled.

"MOM! DAD! JUST LET ME TALK!" He said as they all stopped.

"Mom...Dad...these are friends from school, I am not dating any of them..." He said as they suddenly took a look around.

"Oh...I see..." His dad said.

"NOOOO!" His mom yelled.

"How do you expect to give me any grand children at this rate!" His mom yelled as Yang was trying not to laugh.

"For gods sake mom! I'm 21 years old! I have time!" He said as his Mom rolled his eyes.

"Don't you take that mature tone with me Sonny boy! You still ask me to make you Smore pancakes with chocolate milk!" He said as JC was close to collapsing on the ground and crying in embarrassment.

"I'm not saying I'm mature, just that I don't need to worry about finding me a wife just yet!" He said as Dale came to his defense.

"Yeah, dear, he has time to do it, he can wait." He said as his wife turned on him.

"Oh? As I recall we couldn't wait!" She said back.

"Hey! We were going to wait! It wasn't my fault the condom broke!" He said as JC was considering breathing in the exhaust fumes from his truck.

Great, now everybody knew he was a broken condom baby. Just fan fucking tastic.

"Okay lets all calm down here." Ruby said as Zeus barked in agreement.

His Mom and Dad had finally finished their argument.

"Well well, at least we know he's friends with such pretty young ladies..." Dale said as he put an arm around Jaune and Ren.

"I'm a man..." Ren said.

"Me too..." Jaune said.

"Well holy shit!" Dale said as he couldn't believe it.

"Y'all way too pretty to be men!" He said as it was Jaune and Ren's turn to be embarassed.

"Hey! I like Renny pretty!" Nora said as she hugged Ren.

"Oops! Honey! Looks like he ain't dating the little orange hair girl after all!" Dale said.

"What about this tall red head?!" His mom looked at Pyrrha.

"No! Pyrrha is my girlfriend!" Jaune yelled as he hugged her close.

 _"G-Girlfriend!"_ Pyrrha's brain had shut down from pure happiness.

"Oh dang it..." His mom said.

"Look, can we just all relax, Mom, dad, once again, I am not dating any of them, they are just friends!" He said as his parents groaned.

"Well in that case, we were just about to cook dinner, you're all welcome inside." His mom said as his parents went back inside.

"..." He was quiet as they all looked at him.

"Well...they're interesting..." Pyrrha said.

"Funny." Ruby said.

"I now see where you get your drinking from." Weiss said.

"They only drink every once in a while, trust me, wait til they sober up, you will be shocked at the change in personality." He said as they walked inside.

"Huh, I expected it to look...different." Weiss said as they got inside.

The interior wasn't anything fancy, but at the same time, wasn't the rundown shack that Weiss was expecting. It was fairly clean, except for the occasional bottles of booze, and a mounted deer head every once in awhile.

"How are your parents still alive with how much they seem to drink?" Yang said as even Uncle Qrow had to cut down on his drinking.

"I wish I knew, all I know is it has something to do with them being born in Ireland, and the fact we're about five miles away from the wisconsin border, we're practically baptized in alcohol." He said as that was as best as he could have put it.

He knew the Irish could drink a lot, but at times they had nothing on Wisconsin.

"So uh...Jaune, did you mean that?" Pyrrha said.

"UhM! Well..I mean...Uh...I need to...get to know you..but uh...I don't see...why not?" He said as it was not the answer Pyrrha was looking for, but it would do.

"Okay..." Pyrrha said as she would take it.

"Oh hey! Smells good!" Ruby said as they walked into the kitchen.

"Here we go! Crawfish broiled with shrimp, corn, and potatoes! Cajun style!" His dad said as he unloaded a ton of food onto a large plate.

"Oh yeah, and my dad was raised in Louisiana, they know how to cook down there." He said as he loaded his plate up with crawfish.

"Well, I suppose we could have some." Yang said as she took a plate.

CRACK!

They turned to see JC opening a bottle of Samuel Addams Oktoberfest.

"What?" He asked.

"Don't you think you should cut down on your drinking while we're here?" Ruby asked.

"Considering you all just found out that I was a broken condom baby, while having to listen to my parents rant about me finding a wife, I think I deserve a beer." He said as they all shrugged.

"Okay that makes sense." Yang said.

"Maybe two beers..." He said.

"That's fine." Weiss said.

"How about twenty?" He asked.

"Okay, now you're pushing it!" Nora said.


	11. The Nuthouse

**Here goes another chapter. Also one reviewer asked me why I didn't use 50 shades for Blake's smut...well..BECAUSE 50 shades sucked.**

* * *

 **AT THE HOUSE**

"So what do you girls study?" Dale asked as he had sobered up.

As it turned out, he was very eloquent with his words when he was sober. It was like a switch had flipped in his brain. His mother, while still slightly buzzed, had also started to sober up, and was no longer getting on JC's back like an Italian Mom who wanted Grandchildren.

"Oh, well, I am a music major." Weiss said as they came up with cover stories.

"Physical education." Pyrrha said as it suited her athletic achievements.

"Culinary arts!" Ruby said as it was the only thing that allowed her to bake cookies for a living.

"French history." Jaune said as he had been reading more on Joan of Arc.

"Welding!" Nora said even that was more of a trade.

"Chinese." Ren said as it seemed to suit his name.

"Physical education, I'm also on the boxing team!" Yang said as a cover.

"...Creative Writing." Blake said as it suited her taste for writing erotica.

"Well that's a wide range of degrees." His father said as he sucked the meat out of a crawfish.

JC was relieved. He was hoping that his parents wouldn't try to embarrass him too much. Luckily the combination of food and sobering up had done very little for them to actually embarrass him too much. Lord knows what else they could do if his siblings were home, and they were all drinking. Still though it was weird, he had brought characters from his favorite show home to meet his parents, how many people could say they have done that in their lives? Except the people who paid Snow White to show up at their kids house for birthday parties.

So far, they all seemed to be eating in peace. Nothing bad seemed to have come up.

"So Sonny boy, which one of these ladies are you planning to marry?" His mom asked as he choked on a bit of a crawfish.

"MA!" He yelled out as she laughed.

"I'm kidding! They all seem to be a little too good for you." She said as JC put his head in his hands.

"Ouch, thanks mom." He said as even his mother seemed to remind him of his 'forever alone' status.

"Oh I wouldn't say that! I happen to find him to be a gentleman!" Pyrrha said with a slight smile.

"You're just saying that to be nice to him, come on, he spends most of his time drinking and screwing around." His dad said as Pyrrha tried to deny it.

Even though it was true.

"Not all of my time!" He said trying to defend himself.

"JC, you remember that time with your cousin when you got drunk and decided to joust each other on horses with lances you bought off of amazon?" His dad yelled.

"NOBODY WAS INJURED!" He said as he remembered that escapade. It was on youtube now.

"Except we had to explain to the cops why there were two drunks on the high school football field with horses." His mom said as JC really wished he hadn't come home now.

"Wait, you actually did that?" Nora asked as that sounded like fun.

JC wanted to deny it. But it was true. One night after drinking too much rum. They got their lances that they bought off of amazon. Climbed on top of horses. And attempted a jousting match. Which wouldn't have been so bad, if they weren't wearing plastic costume armor, and nearly ended up cracking ribs. Needless to say, they never did that shit again.

But they did however still try sword fighting every now and then. Although they both sucked at it.

"Do we seriously have to have this conversation now?" JC asked.

"You know the rules, you brought friends over, we get to make fun of you." His parents said.

"Damn I hate that rule..." He said to himself.

It was true, since the birth of him and his siblings. If they ever did something incredibly stupid, the stories were recounted at every single family gathering, friend outing, or public event that they could think of. And that was without the use of alcohol. When they added alcohol to the mix, things just got worse. The whole town must have known that JC once got the bright idea of replacing his morning coffee with straight whiskey. And as a result ending up showing up to his ACT drunk.

Yet ironically, he scored higher than everyone else. Talk about low standards.

"So uh, what do you do?" Pyrrha asked his parents.

"Retired, we just sit at home trying to think of ways to keep us occupied." He said as Nora got curious.

"Like what?" She asked.

"Well we have a lot of-" His dad started to say.

"NO! NO! NO! YOU ARE NOT TELLING PEOPLE THAT!" JC said as he knew what his dad was going to say.

The last thing people needed to know was what his parents did to stay busy.

"Uhm..." Ruby was weirded out.

They knew JC could be eccentric, but now they saw where it came from.

And they thought their dad was weird for sending Zwei in the mail.

"So how did you all meet? I can't see my son actually going out and talking to people. He's so shy." His mom said as JC was cracking open a bottle of Wild Turkey.

GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG

"Oh look! He's just like his daddy!" His mom said as she saw that JC was actually imitating his dad right now.

Except one had a bottle of Rum, and one had a bottle of wild turkey. Either way, it was amazing that their livers could take the damage.

"Don't you worry about his drinking?" Weiss asked.

"Oh no! My boys are in perfect shape! Farmwork keeps them healthy and happy!" Momma said as JC took a breath.

"Besides, they're both happy drunks most of the time." Momma said as JC went outside.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Going to shoot some empty whiskey bottles." He said as he pulled a henry repeating rifle out from a hidden cupboard.

"Woah! Where did you get that?" Weiss asked.

"Oh we have guns hidden around the house in case of home invaders." He said as he went outside.

"Your son is very...interesting." Pyrrha said.

Honestly, they got along with him just fine. Even if he was a bit eccentric. But it was hard to find a weird to describe him. He wasn't crazy enough to be insane, but he wasn't sane enough to be called normal. If anything he was like a drunken, less excited version of Nora, depending on how much alcohol he had consumed. And right now, he had five beers and was going out to shoot bottles.

"Oh don't worry about him, he's a good shot." Dale said as they heard gunshots.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

"HELL YEAH MURICA!" They heard a voice yell out.

"I see he's unwinding from school." His mom said.

They heard multiple gunshots going off as they heard the sound of glass shattering. Needless to say, they found it odd that his parents seemed so calm about it. Finally he came back in after firing off all of the rounds the gun had in it.

"Ah, that was nice." He said as he placed it back in the hidden compartment.

"Did you get them all?" Dale asked.

"Yep, all nine of them." JC responded.

"Good, you may be an idiot when it comes to things, but at least you're a good shot." He said as everyone looked at the exchange.

"Thanks a lot, maybe if your eyes weren't so ancient, you might be able to make those shots too." He replied.

"Uh, do they usually talk to each other like this?" Weiss asked Momma.

"Oh they do this all the time, its how they bond, by insulting each other." Momma said as she sipped her tea.

"How the hell are you from my sperm? I swear to god I have met monkeys who tried to fuck a bucket who have more brains than you." Dale said.

"How can you be my father? Unless I got all my good looks from mom." He said as they continued taking shots at each other.

The rest of them continued to eat as the father and son hurled insults at each other. And as they drank more and more, the insults got worse and worse. The others just ignored it. Weiss however was observing them. When she was growing up, her father would insult her if her work was unsuitable for a Schnee. And she would admit, it took a toll on her self esteem, but here was JC, and he was insulting his father right back. It was something that was unheard of for her. Especially since if she insulted her father...it was a severe mistake.

Blake meanwhile was wondering if this was what a family was like? A bunch of crazy people living together, telling jokes, insulting each other, eating, and shooting guns? Well, maybe it was just this family...and possibly Ruby and Yangs. But she was certain most normal people were not like this.

"Okay I'm bored." JC said as he was done trading insults with his dad.

"Yeah, you can only insult somebody so many times before it gets boring." His dad said as he took a shot of wild turkey.

"So, JC here tells me you have been teaching him how to fight?" Momma turned to Pyrrha.

"Er, Yes, well, self defense mostly." She said as she didn't know what to say.

"Well good, he got his ass kicked a lot as a boy." She said as JC groaned again.

"At least I stood up for myself!" He said.

"Standing up for yourself doesn't matter if you always lose." His dad added on.

"I didn't always lose!" He snapped back.

"Do you remember how many times we had to come pick you up because your bullies had beaten the hell out of you?" His dad said as JC sighed.

He did get bullied a lot as a kid. He fought back sometimes, because he figured fighting back and losing was a hell of a lot better than crying out for help and being labeled a wuss for the rest of your life. But it was true, he was not a strong child. It was lucky that his cousin was able to bail him out of rough situations.

"Why did you get bullied so often?" Jaune asked as he could relate.

"I was short, pale, skinny, and played fantasy games like Legend of Zelda, I may as well have painted a 'Kick my ass' sign on my back." JC said as he remembered those times.

"Hey! I was like that too!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, but you had Yang to protect you, no one wanted to mess with her." Weiss said as she had heard the stories of people who tried to pick on Yang.

The dread pirate Yang, leaves no survivors!

"I keep telling you, you should have gotten to work on the farm earlier than you did." Dale said.

"Dad...I was working on that farm when I was five years old..." JC said.

"Bah! I started when I was two!" Dale shot back.

"Thats' not physically possible!" JC said.

"Or maybe you're just a pussy!" Dale yelled back.

Once again, the two teams tuned out the arguing. Once again, they weren't sure if they were just insulting each other for shits and giggles, or if they had serious issues. Either way, it would probably explain the alcoholism. Weiss was really considering signing those two up for therapy. Because they both looked like they needed it. Nora could not understand how two people could be so mean to each other for no reason. Ren was just trying to focus on his tea.

"Could you two please stop arguing?" Momma said as she pumped a 12 guage shotgun.

"..." Both men sat down and went back to their food.

"Thank you." She said as she put the shotgun away.

"Does every person in their house have their own gun?" Ruby asked.

"Uhhh..." JC said as the three looked at each other.

"Okay, show em." Momma said as JC reached under the table.

Only to pull out a 44 magnum that was duct taped to the table. His father rolled up his pants leg to reveal a tiny five shot smith and wesson attached to his leg. And then reached into his coat and pulled out a Colt 1911. This action was followed by Momma pulling a Walther ppk out of her purse. And JC to pull a Colt Peacemaker from his shoulder holster.

"Wait! Did you have those the entire time!" Ruby said as they all nodded.

"We're Americans, of course we do!" JC said as he put his gun back.

"JC over there prefers the cowboy old west guns, my wife here thinks she's James Bond, and here I am with the most practical." Dale said as JC looked at him.

"You have an old Gamblers gun upstairs, I would hardly call that practical these days." He said as his dad sighed.

"Still more of a use than those six shooters you're so fond of." He said.

"Hey! I'll have you know if your aim is good, you don't need more than six shots!" He fired back.

"I'm pretty sure thats what General Custer thought, and looked what happened to him!" Dale shouted.

Only for the sound of Momma's shotgun being pumped to silence them both.

"Good Oum, what kind of nuthouse did we land in?" Jaune said.

"The best kind." The family of three said.


	12. Go Cubs Go!

**Okay, here we go. To answer a question, yes my cousin and I did joust when we were drunk, but we did not record it on youtube. Also, I do not actually have a still in my basement to make moonshine. I'm a law abiding citizen.**

 **Also I changed my name in this, the initials are my actual initials though.**

 **Also I am not going to be on as often because well, CUBS ARE IN THE SERIES, AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE!**

* * *

 **IN THE HOUSE**

"Whatcha doing?" Yang asked as she was on a pullup bar and she saw Blake reading a book.

"Reading a history book." She said as she found a giant history book in JC's room.

Everything from Ancient Egypt to present day America was within the pages of the book. It was insanely large, but it didn't stop her from reading it. She found the history of this world fascinating. Even if it did get dark. When she read about the Nazis and the jewish people. She couldn't help but wonder if the faunus could share the same fate. To think that one man hated a group of people so much that he wanted to have them exterminated. So far, genocide was something that didn't happen often on Remnant, but on Earth, it seemed like it happened alot in its history. Ranging from the holocaust to Rwanda. It was horrifying.

But within the same darkness of history, she could find the light of hope shining through.

"Who is that guy?" Ruby asked looking at a short bald man with glasses.

"Says here his name is 'Gandhi.'" Blake said as she read up on his biography.

She had to admit, for a human, he was very inspirational. She would admit, often she tended to dismiss human's opinions on race, as she felt that because they were the oppressors that they should have no opinion. And she would admit, that was very stupid of her to believe. But then she read about Gandhi, a man who had not only inspired his own countrymen, but also millions across the world who shared his view of the world. To think that one man could reach out to so many people who weren't even his countrymen, or even his religion, it was an amazing thing.

 _"I have a dream..."_ She flipped the page to a picture of a dark skinned man dressed in a suit giving a speech in front of the Lincoln memorial.

She let out a smile as she read the excerpt from the speech of a man called Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This was a man she could believe in. He was similar to Gandhi, as he approached things from a peaceful point of view for the most part. He truly believed that people of different skins, nationalities, and creeds could come together and dine with each other in prosperity.

Unforturnately, as she read more. She realized his story didn't end well.

He was assassinated April 4th, 1968. He was killed by James Earl Ray. And what happened next really got under Blakes skin.

The King assassination riots. People were furious that someone had killed him, so their response was to riot and destroy cities, it lasted from april to may.

This felt personal to her because...because she had seen it happen before.

It reminded her of how the white fang used to be peaceful, but then they turned to violence to get what they wanted. And just like with the white fang, it only made race relations worse. Dr. King said violence in the end wouldn't solve anything, and in reality it didn't. It only made race relations worse, and gave plenty of ammunition to those who would seek to keep the black community down.

She came to a realization that she was exactly like that in the white fang. She thought she was helping the faunus by participating in some of the Fangs more violent activity. But all it did was breed hatred and fear towards the Faunus. Blake wasn't helping the faunus with equality, she was giving humans a reason to hate the Faunus.

And that sent a chill down her spine. If she couldn't obtain peace without resorting to violence, then what kind of person was she?

She looked down at the two men she had grown to idolize.

 _"No...never again, I can't go back to those ways, I won't go back to hurting people in the name of justice, that won't solve anything."_ She thought back to why she agreed to sign up for Beacon.

She was running away from the fang, and in reality, she wanted to help people. And what better way than fighting Grimm?

 _"I promise, I will not use my strength to give humans a reason to hate and fear us, instead I will do what Dr. King and Gandhi did, preach love and acceptance between the races, sure tension may arise everynow and then, but in the end, we have to remember that we are all in this together, we all bleed, we all breath, we all live the same lives, and our graves will be the same...life is too short to be pissed off all the time at a group of people who probably didn't do anything to you. We can't go around blaming an entire group for the actions of a few...we're better than that, and we just need to remember."_ She thought to herself.

She then heard a sound of a jug shattering.

"NO! MY MOONSHINE! Er I mean my...Boonsfarm wine...yeah..." Dale said as JC came out of the basement.

"Nice job dad, there goes a great batch of white lightning." JC was pissed.

"Jeremiah Richard Cotten, you better watch that tone with me!" Dale said as Blake felt her moment of inspiration killed by those two idjits arguing.

"Your name is Jeremiah?" Pyrrha asked as the now newly identified Jeremiah facepalmed.

"Yes..." He said as he was tempted to shoot his dad now.

"Thats not so bad! It could have been Jedediah!" Ruby said.

"No, thats my brothers name." He said as Ruby suddenly felt bad.

"HOLY CRAP!" Jaune suddenly walked into a room.

"They have a room full of guns!" He said as he felt like Andy from Parks and Rec.

"Oh come on, they can't have...OH MY OUM!" Weiss said as she saw the armory.

One on side was a bunch of rifles from various companies, Armalite, Smith and Wesson, Colt, and Winchester. On the other side they had shotguns, and on another wall they had handguns. And enough ammunition that if the Russians ever tried to invade, they would be outgunned for sure.

"What do you need this many guns for?" Weiss said as Ruby was fangirling over the armory.

"OH MY GOSH! SIS! Look at this! THEY HAVE A GATLING GUN!" She yelled as she uncovered a contraption in the corner that turned out to be a gatling gun on wheels.

"Woah! Hey! Cover that back up! We're not supposed to have that!" Jeremiah said as he covered it back up.

"Then why is it here?" Yang asked.

"We kind of...found it..." He said as Weiss looked at him.

"By found, do you mean stole?" She asked.

"No! We literally found it! It was out in the woods buried in an old bunker." Dale said as they still didn't know how that happened.

One night Jeremiah and Jed were drunk one night and stumbled across it, ended up loading it up into the back of his pickup and brought it home. And now they had it in the armory. Which brought up another question.

How the heck did Jaune stumble into it? That was the room that was locked with multiple locks.

"Oh honey! I'm cleaning out the armory, so the doors are unlocked!" Momma yelled from upstairs.

"COULD HAVE TOLD US THAT EARLIER!" Dale yelled back.

"You two seem irritable today..." Weiss said.

"Cubs lost last night, of course we're irritable, I even had my rally cap on and it didn't help the last inning at all." Jeremiah said as he really wanted the Cubs to win.

This had never happened in his lifetime. It would be great to see.

"Geez, boys are weird, how can you be so obsessed with something like Baseball?" Weiss said sure that nobody in her group would be interested.

"Woah woah woah! Hold up there Weiss! Baseball is important!" Jaune said as even REN came to his defense.

"I'll have to agree with him there." Ren said as they had baseball in Remnant, it just wasn't as prominent as it was here in the US.

"It's just hitting a ball with a bat!" She said as it sounded boring.

"THATS WHAT MAKES IT FUN! It helps us calm down! Who doesn't love hitting things with a bat!" Jaune said as he high fived Jeremiah.

"Ugh! Men!" She said as she walked away.

"Thanks bro! Still though, you guys have baseball back home?" Jeremiah asked as they both nodded.

"Yeah, I used to be on a little league team, and Ren here still has his baseball card collection." Jaune said as Ren nodded.

"I needed a hobby when I was a kid, Nora got me started on it, she's a much bigger fan than me." Ren said as Jeremiah chuckled.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me, considering she swings a giant hammer around." He said as Ren nodded because he knew it was true.

"You know...I was having a moment of self revelation...and you ruined it with talk of baseball and moonshine..." Blake said as she felt bummed out, and a little pissed.

"Well...if you want, we're going to go see the fourth game of the World Series tonight?" Jeremiah said as he held up extra tickets.

"What makes you think I would-" Suddenly she was cut off by an orange blur.

"I'll go!" Nora said as she took a ticket.

Jeremiah was a little hesitant taking Nora with because...well NORA SMASH! But at the same time, if she was as obsessed with Baseball as Ren said she was, perhaps it was not a good idea for him to keep him from her goal.

"I'll go!" Jaune said as he picked out two tickets for him and Ren.

"Me too!" Ren said.

"Why not? I'll come." Yang said as she got tickets for her and ruby.

Weiss and Blake opted out as they did not wish to partake. Seeing it as mindless frivolity.

"Okay good, because I'll probably be drinking a lot." Jeremiah said as he needed someone to keep an eye on him if he got too drunk before they stopped serving beer after the seventh inning.

"So in other words...you might need a designated driver." Jaune said as he facepalmed.

"Yep." Dale said as he broke out all the cubs gear.

Weiss and Blake, despite not wanting to go, were thrown into cubs jerseys, and thrown into the big ass van they were taking to Wrigley field.

* * *

 **BACK AT JEREMIAH'S COLLEGE HOUSE**

The house was quiet, nothing out of the ordinary was happening. The swords were at their places on the fireplace mantel. The food was all organized. Except for a noticeable bloodstain on the carpet. It was completely ordinary. Until a strange noise appeared.

It was the sound of air being sucked into a vaccuum. It was quiet, but noticeable. And then a flash of light appeared as a figure was kneeling down.

"I can't believe this ridiculous travel..." A woman's voice said as she stood up to her full height of 6'0''.

She had snow white hair tied up into a bun, with some strange boot/stocking combination attached to a white military uniform, with a sword attached to her hip. This was Winter Schnee, the eldest Schnee and Weiss's older sister.

She had been contacted by Beacon Academy, how her sister had been sucked into some strange dust vortex. And was now in area's unknown to Remnant. At first she thought of it as nonsense, until NOBODY reported Weiss missing. At first she was worried she might have been transported to the white fang, but they would have shown that they had her sister by now and demanded a ransom. So she took leave from the Atlesian military to go to Beacon Academy and find her sister.

They were reverse engineering the dust that they were working with when they disappeared. While they couldn't bring them back yet. They could send one more person over to find Team RWBY and JNPR. So Winter volunteered to go. She needed to save her sister. Call it big sister instinct.

"What an...odd abode." She said as she looked around.

Whoever lived here, must have been some kind of collector, if the weapons were any indication, but what confused her was the titles of the book she found, they were not of her world. But one thing was for sure, Weiss wasn't just transported away from Beacon, she wasn't even on Remnant anymore.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Winter's scroll went off as the tracker she installed to find Weiss was going off. It was designed to track her scroll, unfortunately, she couldn't call due to a weak signal in this universe.

"Seems she's heading towards...some major city...there must be a map around here somewhere." She said as she looked through the bookshelves.

She came across history books, biographies, memoirs, and the last one made her slightly blush, Smut novels, but she found what she was looking for. A map!

"So she is heading towards this...Chicago...very well, hold on Weiss, I'm coming!" Winter said as she walked out the door.

Whoever took her was going to...SUFFER.


	13. CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! (SHORT)

**CUBS WIN! CUBS! WIN! CUBS WIN! This is a short chapter, for reasons.**

* * *

 **WRIGLEY FIELD**

"COME ON CUBS!" Jeremiah was yelling as they were in the tenth inning tied with 6 to 6.

"Are you okay?" Weiss asked.

"NO! WE ARE THIS CLOSE TO WINNING, AND THOSE DAMN INDIANS HAVE A CHANCE TO BOUNCE BACK! WE HAVE WAITED OVER A HUNDRED YEARS FOR THIS, WE CAN'T LOSE!" Jeremiah was very passionate about this.

Weiss could not understand his love for baseball. Neither could she understand that Jaune was as big of a nut about this. He was even wearing a shirt with 'I ain't afraid of no goat.' on it. Ren was louder than he had ever been in his life.

"COME ON CUBBIES! YOU CAN DO THIS!" Nora yelled as she had read up on the cubs.

Having not been to a series since 1945? And not having won one since 1908? She could understand why Jeremiah needed them to win this.

"YES! YES! YES!" Jeremiah suddenly cried in happiness as they scored a run.

"FUCK YEAH! GO CUBS!" He yelled as she ripped his shirt off and swung it around his head.

"PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!" Weiss yelled as she had never seen something so pasty white.

"HELL NO! CUBS SCORE!" He yelled as his dad and him were now chugging beer.

"YEAH WEISS! LET US HAVE THIS!" Jaune said as he had grown to like the cubs over this game.

"Uhm, yeah! Go cubs!" Pyrrha decided to just go along with it.

"COME ON! WE DON'T NEED MUCH! STRIKE THOSE INDIANS OUT!" Jeremiah yelled as Blake looked at him.

"You know, if this was 200 years ago, that would mean something different..." Blake said as she looked at him.

"Relax! They know we're talking about the baseball team!" He said as they all started to cheer.

"HELL YEAH! ANOTHER POINT! GO CUBS! GO CUBS! GO CUBS!" He screamed out in pure ecstacy.

No one could fuck this up!

* * *

"Owwww..." Winter had beaten up a security guard.

Apparently the signal on Weiss's scroll had led her to this 'Wrigley field.' From what she could understand, it was a sports stadium. And based on the amount of people she saw outside, she could tell that these 'Cubs' fans were excited to be here. Whatever was going on, it must have been historical.

"HEY! WHERE'S YOUR COLORS?!" A fan with a beer yelled.

"Excuse me?" She asked as she was tempted to skewer him.

"YO! BILL! THIS LADY DON'T HAVE CUBS GEAR! HOOK HER UP!" A man said as Winter was suddenly thrown into a crowd.

"HEY! UNHA-"She couldn't even get a word out.

"HEY! I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS!" She was losing her cool with these drunken fools!

"WHAT ARE YOU?! A DAMN INDIANS FAN?! SHUT UP AND ACCEPT BEING A CUB!" She felt herself being forced into clothing.

"There we go!" The man with the beer said as Winter was revealed.

Her once elegant hair had been let down and was covered by a baseball cap, while her military jacket had been replaced by an Rizzo jersey. And for some reason she had a foam finger that had a picture of a goat being decapitated.

These people were weird.

"See isn't that better?" The random drunk said.

"I told you...not to touch me..." She said as she cracked her knuckles.

"Hey? What are you doing?" He asked her a little worried.

* * *

 **"GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"** A loud scream tore through Wrigley Field.

"What was that?" Weiss asked as she felt concerned.

"JUST A FAN GOING NUTS! BECAUSE CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!" Jeremiah and his father were going berserk.

If it wasn't for the fact Jeremiah was in public, he would have stripped down to his boxers and danced in happiness! It was over! It was finally over! The billy goat curse had been lifted! The cubs were world champions! IT HAPPENED IN HIS LIFETIME!

"I AM SO HAPPY!" He yelled as he had never been this happy before in his life.

Not when he had been accepted into college, not when he had his first kiss. Not even when he first turned 21 and was able to drink all the shit he had been drinking since 12. THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE! WAS PURE ECSTASY!

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!

"HEY LOOK! KISS CAM!" Yang said as she saw Jaune and Pyrrha on it.

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" Everyone chanted as Jaune looked at Pyrrha with a smile on his face.

"Well how ab-" He was cut off as Pyrrha swung him around and landed a big old smooch on him.

"WWOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!" Wrigley field was going nuts! First the cubs win! And then they see a couple ready to tear each others clothes off because of the sheer orgasmic quality of the game. Jaune and Pyrrha could barely keep their hands off of each other. It was fantastic!

The camera switched to multiple couples as everyone cheered. Weiss however was brooding. Seriously? It was just a game! It wasn't that big of a deal!

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" Weiss heard as Jeremiah suddenly sounded nervous.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" He yelled as he was shaking his head.

"What is going on?" Weiss said as she looked at the kiss cam.

* * *

Winter had beaten the ever living piss out of that drunken asshole. How dare he force her to wear this comical garb?! Who chose a cub to represent them? Granted it was a cute animal, but she thought sports teams were supposed to be ferocious! Not cute!

She had to keep the cubs hat to blend in, but she had swapped back to her original garb, hiding her sword wasn't easy as not everyone seemed to open carry as they did in her world. So she had to be extra sneaky just to hide in on her person.

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" She heard chanting as she was coming out of the tunnel.

"What are those buffoons cheering for now?" She said as she noticed they were all watching the giant jumbotron.

And she saw a very familiar face on it.

"WEISS!" She said as she was happy to see her sister.

She seemed unharmed, if a little pissed off at where she was.

But then her blood boiled when she saw a bearded man was right next to her, he seemed to be a little younger than Winter, but one thing was for sure. He was drunk an Winter felt like he was up to no good.

And she was right, because than she read the caption on the Jumbotron.

"KISS CAM?" She asked as she suddenly froze.

"OH NO YOU WILL NOT!" She yelled as she started running.

Here eyes never left the jumbotron. She had to save her sister! She would not let her little sister's innocence we spoiled by some hooligan!

And then...it happened.

A blond hair girl who looked like one of Weiss's teammate from a photo she sent Winter accidentally bumped into Weiss, causing her sister to bump into the bearded man...

And land a smooch right on his face.

Suddenly Winter saw red...she froze in her place. She had seen hellfire and brimstone.

She would find this man...and she would...make...him...PAY!

* * *

"BLEH! TASTES LIKE ALCOHOL AND BAD DECISIONS!" Weiss said as Jeremiah felt a horrible chill go up his spine.

"Something is wrong...Something is very...very wrong." He had felt a disturbance in the force.

And he cradled his one remaining nut...because something told him he was going to lose it.


	14. The Chase

**Okay, here we go, okay questions, to answer some of them, yes the one nut thing is true, but lets just say the reason for it will be changed in this story if it ever comes up again.**

 **Anyways here we go. I got to work on The Punisher after this.**

* * *

 **AFTER THE GAME**

"Well that was great!" Nora said as she was drinking out of a maple syrup bottle she had brought along for the game.

"I will admit, it was certainly exciting!" Pyrrha said as she understood why Jaune loved the game now.

"Where did Jerry go?" Nora asked as he came running out.

"Hey Jerry! Whats wrong?!" She said in a chipper tone.

"First off...Don't call me Jerry, and secondly, I feel like something terrible is going to happen." He said as he couldn't shake the bad feeling off of him.

"What do you mean?" Pyrrha asked as he looked at Teams JNPR and RWBY.

"I feel...cold, like all my happiness is about to die." He said as he couldn't help but feel like he had commited a great sin and the devil was coming to get his due.

"Maybe its because I kissed a 17 year old..." He said as he still felt guilty about that.

"Actually I'm 18, my birthday was a week ago..." Weiss said as Ruby's head snapped towards her.

"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell us?!" She yelled as she grabbed onto Weiss.

"I'm not big on birthdays." She said as she was never too fond of celebrating it.

Sure Klein did help make her birthdays better by helping her act like a kid, but most of the time they were all fancy parties held by her father, and usually they only served as a way for him to boost his own ego by showing off all of Weiss's achievements at each and every birthday party.

"Well too bad! When we get back! We're throwing you a party!" Ruby said as she got Yang all worked out.

"Wait...you're 18..." Jeremiah said as his face lit up in a smile.

"YES! I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE!" He yelled out in the crowd of people.

"Who the fuck just yelled that?!" A random guy yelled out.

"Uh oh...we better get out of here." He said as he loaded them all into the van.

Suddenly his spider sense was tingling. Well, it wasn't actually a spider sense, it was more of a 'MOVE OUT OF THE WAY' sense. He moved his lead slightly to the left as he saw a sword strike the van and puncture it.

"HOW...DARE...YOU..." He heard a voice say as he froze.

 _"That voice! I know that voice! But that sounds like...No...She can't be here! She's still in the show!"_ He thought as he turned around.

Only to see a very pissed off...yet extremely sexy elegant lady standing in front of him, her eyes filled with rage.

Winter Schnee, Weiss's older sister.

And boy was she pissed!

"WINTER!" Weiss was thrilled to see her sister.

"Stay back Weiss! Big sister has work to do!" She said as she held the sword up to Jeremiah's throat.

"WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! MADAME SCHNEE! WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!" He yelled as he felt the sword dig deeper into his neck.

"Talk? You took away my sisters innocence! How dare you you ask me to talk!" She said as he looked around.

Team RWBY and JNPR weren't stepping in, His dad was passed out drunk, and all of the fans had gone to the bars to celebrate...He was all alone.

"Well to be fair, Weiss kissed him." Yang said.

"YOU PUSHED ME INTO HIM!" Weiss yelled.

"I don't care who started it!" Winter said as she glared at Jeremiah.

"I...Will...Finish it..." She said as Jeremiah was THIS close to pissing himself.

Death by sexy lady, oh boy, what a story to tell.

"Well...only one thing left to do..." He said as he sighed.

"RUN AWAY!" He yelled as he hit Winter's sword away with a baseball bat and ran away screaming like a child at the Neverland ranch.

"GET OVER HERE!" Winter was going to be merciful, she would not use her semblance.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" He ran away screaming like a little girl, running faster than he had ever gone in his life.

"..." The two teams were standing there dumbfounded.

"Uh oh..." Weiss said as Pyrrha turned to her.

"UH OH?! OUR FRIEND IS ABOUT TO BE CASTRATED BY YOUR SISTER AND YOU SAY UH OH?!" Pyrrha lost her cool at that.

"Well...it is surprising." Ruby said as as she didn't know what to say.

"WE NEED TO SAVE HIM!" Nora grabbed Ren and went after them.

Jeremiah was running for his life. He had a pissed off sexy lady coming after him! And right now he needed to muster up his strength just to try and survive her. She was chasing after him with her sword and dagger at the ready. She was ready to skewer him! Why oh why did Yang have to push Weiss into him forcing a kiss! He didn't even want to kiss her! Although he would admit, it was a fairly good kiss, and tasted like Ice Cream to him. Although he did feel kind of bad considering that he as Weiss put it 'tasted like alcohol and bad decisions' he would be lying if he said that didn't hurt him a bit.

Maybe if he survived this he should cut down on his drinking...

...

NAAAAHHHH!

If anything, this would be more of a reason to drink heavily.

"GET BACK HERE!" Winter closed in on him and slashed at him.

RRRIIIIIPPPPPP

Jeremiah suddenly felt lighter, he looked down and realized that Winter had sliced his pants off...Literally.

She sliced down the ass end of his jeans, and it caused them to fly off when he sped up his pace. Now everyone could see his Calvin Klein Boxer briefs. Great, that was embarrassing. Suddenly he saw a refuge. A bar up ahead! He could get in and hide from her.

He ran up to the door of the establishment, only to find that the door was locked, so he ran over to the window and banged on it.

"LET ME IN!" He yelled as all the fans turned to see him.

They saw a man in boxer briefs with a very sexy lady coming up to him with hunger in her eyes. What they didn't realize was that it was hunger for revenge. So naturally every man and woman raised their beers in congratulations to him.

"WAY TO GO BUDDY! THATS ONE WAY TO CELEBRATE!" A lady yelled out as she was certain they were going to have sex.

"NO! LET ME IN! SHE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" He yelled as he turned around and ran away since Winter was getting closer.

"That is some of the strangest foreplay I have ever seen..." One woman said as she was drinking with her husband.

"Young uns, they are into some weird shit." He said as he continued drinking.

"MISS SCHNEE! CAN WE PLEASE BE CIVILIZED?!" Jeremiah said as he saw a dust bullet whiz by.

"A SIMPLE NO WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!" He yelled as she snarled.

"DON'T EVEN TRY TO BEG FOR MERCY! JUST FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN!" She said as he let out a chuckle.

"Oh, if I wasn't about to die, I would point out how you sound like a dominatrix...BUT BYE FELICIA!" He yelled as he continued to run.

Only for his shirt to catch on to a tree branch, and ripped it off.

"OH COME ON!" He yelled o himself.

Now he was only in his boxer briefs and his running shoes and socks. In other words, he literally looked like he was streaking down Wacker Drive. He just prayed she wouldn't rip off his boxers too. He didn't have a lot to show off.

He saw a familiar sight. And already he felt safer. He ran inside as he ducked for cover as Winter stopped outside. Looking up at the giant structure in front of her, and yelled out to him.

"IF YOU THINK HIDING IN THIS WILLIS TOWER WILL SAVE YOU, YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!" She yelled as Jeremiah popped out his head.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH! You did not just say that!" He said as he walked out and stood in front of her.

"Wait what?" She asked as she didn't understand why he just walked out.

"Did you seriously just call it that?!" He was actually mad now.

"Uh, it says right there its called the Willis tower." She said not understanding the point.

"NO! In this state we call it the Sears tower! I don't care what some group renamed it to! It is the Sears tower!" He said as he crossed his arms.

"Thats ridiculous! If they paid to have it renamed, they should call it by its proper name!" Winter said as she was now arguing business courtesy with him.

"Screw that! You can't just pay to rename it after the people of Chicago had gotten so used to calling it the Sears tower! That would be like renaming Trump tower! You can't do that, the name is way too prominent in our lives!" He said as he would never call it the Willis tower.

"Wait..." She said as she got her swords ready again.

"Oh yeah...I was running away..." He said as he suddenly ran back inside.

"GET BACK HERE!" Winter yelled as she chased him inside.

"Huff huff...damn, who knew a drunk guy could run so fast?" Ruby said as even she was tired.

"Where did they go?" Weiss asked as she may not have liked the fact that Jeremiah kissed her, but it was an accident, she didn't think he should die for that.

"They ran inside the Sears tower!" Jaune yelled.

"THANK YOU!" Jeremiah somehow managed to hear that.

"We got to get him out of there!" Nora said as they ran up.

* * *

 **AT THE TOP OF THE TOWER**

"This is humiliating..." Jeremiah said as he collapsed on top of the tower.

"My day was going so well...Cubs win...The curse was over...I sobered up, I got a kiss...And now here I am, about to die on top of the Sears tower nearly naked because I pissed off Winter..." He said to himself.

"Well...at least she's hot..." He said as he was glad he wasn't getting killed by Rosie O'Donnell...lord knows he would send himself to hell for losing to THAT woman.

"Any last words?" Winter was approaching him.

"Well, just a few..." He said as he was laying on his back.

"Well hurry up and sa-" She lost focus as she tripped and fell forwards.

She fell towards Jeremiah, getting closer and closer.

"MMMPPPHHHH!" His words were muffled out as her breasts enveloped his face.

"YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?!" Winter said as now it was her turn to be humiliated.

"JERRY! WE CAME TO SAV-" Nora was cut off as both teams shot out onto the roof and saw the position.

"Oh...Oh my..." Ren said as he saw Jeremiah was in a state of undress, and Winter was mounted on him.

"Winter you need to...WHAT IN THE NAME OF OUM ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER?!" Weiss suddenly felt the need to cut off Jeremiah's balls.

"Weiss! It's not what it looks like!" Winter said as she was trying to save herself the embarrassment.

She pulled herself off of Jeremiah as she saw the shit eating grin on his face.

"You can go ahead and kill me now...I will die happy." He said as suddenly all of life made sense.

He saw the heavens and the earth, he saw the alpha and the omega, and he didn't care if he died now, because Jesus was calling him home to the sound of a Hallelujah chorus, he had finally felt a pair of breasts.

"YOU TWO NEED A TIME OUT!" Ruby said as she bonked both Winter and Jeremiah on the head.

Winter grunted in pain, but Jeremiah was knocked out cold.

And unforturnately he started bleeding out of his head.

"OH NO! HIS HEAD INJURY NEVER HEALED ALL THE WAY!" Ruby said as Weiss came over.

"I'll help him! But only so I can kill him for touching my sister!" Weiss said as he would pay for motorboating Winter.

"H-Hey! That's supposed to be my job!" She yelled in embarrassment.

"Hold up the door to hell for me Dio...I'm coming home..." Jeremiah said as he passed out.

"Oh...Shit..."


	15. Fun with Morphine

**Okay here we go, I love writing this fic.**

* * *

"YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM RIGHT AWAY!" Ruby yelled at Winter.

"Ruby! You were the one who put him in the hospital!" Weiss tried to defend her sister.

"Yes! And I admit I made a mistake! But SHE was actually trying to kill him!" Ruby said as Winter felt like a child being scolded by her parent.

"But he kissed my sister!" Winter said as Weiss also spoke up.

"And he motor boated my sister!" Weiss said as Winter blushed in embarrassment.

"Both of which were accidents! Maybe if Yang didn't bump you into him, there wouldn't have been a kiss, and Miss Winter, if YOU didn't throw yourself on him, he wouldn't have motor boated you!" Ruby said as she had no idea what motor boating was, but Weiss was pissed off about it.

"Look...I admit, perhaps I was a bit hasty..." Winter said as she should have let her better judgement come forward instead of immediately trying to castrate this Jeremiah.

"Excuse me, your friend is awake." The nurse said as she turned to Winter.

"He is asking for the white haired boobie goddess." She said looking at Winter.

"Excuse me?!" She said as she blushed.

"Oh sorry, we put him on Morphine, he's a bit doped up right now." She said as he was saying a lot of weird things.

"IS THAT YOU WHITE HAIRED BOOBIE GODDESS?!" Jeremiah yelled out as he giggled at the end.

"Wow, I have no idea what Morphine is, but it sounds awesome." Yang said as they walked into his hospital room.

"Also, may I ask why we found him in a state of undress?" The nurse asked as they weren't sure what to say, but Winter thought it was time to own up to her mistakes.

"I'm afraid that was my fault." She said as the Nurse blushed.

"O-Oh, no wonder he was asking for you, well Maam, we don't judge anyone based on their sexual preferences, but please try and be more careful next time." The nurse said as Winter suddenly realized she made a mistake.

"Wait! No! That's not what I meant!" She said as they were not having sex! She was trying to kill him!

"Whatever Miss." The nurse said as she walked away.

The Atlesian Specialist felt humiliated, she was from a distinguished family, she had earned her commission in the army, and she had earned the respect of multiple soldiers, but now this nurse viewed her as nothing more than a crazed Nymphomaniac. This was humiliating!

"You know Ruby, you need to apologize to him too." Yang said since Ruby was the one who aggravated Nora's previous skull fracture on Jeremiah's skull.

"Relax, I'm cute, he'll forgive me." She said as she was confident all she needed to do was flash her puppy dog eyes.

"Mr. Jeremiah..." Winter tried to keep her dignity.

"OH! IT'S THE BOOBIE GODDESS! HEY BOOBIE GODDESS!" Jeremiah was officially as high as a kite.

Because morphine is some serious good shit bro. Seriously, you think Vicodin was a gift from a baby jesus? You have never been under the influence of morphine. It's like the closest thing you can get to heroin without it being heroin. You could lose a leg and giggle it off.

Winter was trying to keep her cool, but it was hard to remain calm when your new nickname was Boobie Goddess. Seriously? How the hell could a man she was trying to punish beforehand be so doped up that he now saw her as a Goddess with great breasts? Granted, she would admit, she did have a nice pair of breasts, but she was a woman! She wasn't an object! Granted, he was under the influence of morphine, so she would let it slide.

"I have come to...apologize for my actions, they were unprofessional, and I should have used better judgement." She said as she was speaking in an authoritative but apologetic tone.

"Oooooooh, thats okay, all four of you are forgiven." He said with a goofy grin.

"Uh, I'm the only one here right now." She said as she was confused.

Jeremiah looked confused before he stood up and squinted his eyes while getting close to Winter, having to look up to see her properly.

"Well, so there are, then who are the other three next to you?" He said as she realized something was wrong.

"Uhm, maybe you should lie back down on the bed." She said as she realized he was way too doped up to do anything.

"Daaaah, but I don't wanna go to bed! I want to bake cookies and drink!" He said as Winter sighed.

This was like when Weiss had a nightmare when she was a kid, and she had to put her back to bed while giving her a glass of water. Seriously? What the hell was in morphine? And where could she find a sample, because that could be a very effective painkiller for use by the Atlas military. Oum knows they needed a different kind of painkiller, the one they had while effective took a long time to kick in.

"Lets just-" She was cut off as she tripped over herself.

"NOT AGAIN!" She said as they landed on the bed.

"YAY! Boobie lady stay with me!" He said as he hugged her like a teddy bear.

"UNHAND ME YOU RUFFIAN!" She said as she could not believe this was happening...AGAIN!

"Winter, are you done y-" Weiss was now pissed off.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" She said as she saw Winter mounted on top of Jeremiah for the second time in an hour.

"I did not plan this!" She said as this was embarassing.

"Wow, you look purty." Jeremiah sounded like the redneck from Deliverance.

"While I would usually thank someone for complimenting my looks, I will not take it from a man under the influence of drugs." She said as she got off of him.

"Winter! Just get out before you fall on top of him again!" Weiss said as she pushed her sister out of the room.

"Can't you just keep it in your pants?" She asked Jeremiah as he looked offended.

"Why my dear little baby Weissy! I would never do any such thing to offend you!" He said as he flicked his wrist to his chest.

"Really? Because in the last hour, you have kissed me, shoved your face in my sister's breasts-" She gagged a bit at that imagery.

"And just now you pulled her on top of your hospital bed! For Oum's sake there are other patients in this room!" She yelled as Jeremiah turned his head to another patient.

One was an old man with a knife sticking out of his head who was drunk off his ass and just wanted to get back to the bar so he could celebrate the cubs winning. Another was a woman who had fallen out of her apartment building because she accidentally opened her window and fell out of it and broke her leg. Literally, she was dancing to 'girls just wanna have fun' and got a little too into it and fell out her window. It also helps that she was drunk...Jeremiah was starting to wonder if being so close to the wisconsin border was causing Northern illinois people to become alcoholics.

"Well excuuuuuuuussssssse me Princess!" He said as he borrowed a quote from Legend of Zelda.

"It's not like it was all intentional! Winter can't keep her hands off of this pinnacle of manliness!" He said as Weiss facepalmed.

"I'm just going to ignore you because I know morphine messed up your brain..." She said as she suddenly stopped herself.

Never mind, he was a fucked up individual before.

"Anyways, the doctor says we can go home soon, so we're going to load you up into the van, and your mom is coming to drive us home, speaking of which, why didn't she come with us to the game?" Weiss said as his mom was the only one who didn't come.

"Simple, she's a white sox fan." He said with upmost clarity.

Weiss walked out of the hospital room, seriously she needed to wait til the morphine wore off. Jeremiah was dumb as hell when he was under the influence of alcohol or any kind of drug. She walked out of the hospital room to see that the others were waiting for her.

"Sooooo, Weissy, you think Jeremiah is going to be your new brother in law with how Winter can't keep her hands off of him?" Yang said as Weiss gave her a hateful glare.

"Don't even joke about that! I don't want to think about it!" She said as she could not even imagine how that would turn out.

Jeremiah would probably piss her father off so much that he might even pay people to kill him...Granted from what they had learned so far, he was way too stubborn to die. Although she had to admit, it would be funny to see the look on her dad's face if Winter brought home a redneck boyfriend.

Wait..WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING?! There was no possible way in hell that Winter would EVER associate herself with Jeremiah of all people! Why in the world would that pop into her mind? Granted he was nice for taking them in when they had no home, but he was a drunken idiot! Granted he did seem to possess knowledge on a great many things, but he would rather spend his time shooting beer bottles and driving fast cars!

"AND WATCHING MUSICALS!" Jeremiah yelled from the room.

"Wait...what?" Weiss said, did he just read her mind?

"Yes! I did read your mind! And for the record, I love musicals!" He said as the morphine finally knocked him out completely.

"You know what, forget it, I don't care." Weiss said as she sat down.

She tried to think of her concerts when she was still in training to be a hunttress, her masteful melodies, her haunting yet beautiful voice, Winter watching from the stands with a a baby in her arms next to a bearded bald guy drinking from a whiskey fla-

OH HELL NO! He was not invading her memories!

"OKAY! WHERE IS THE TART WHO ASSAULTED MY SON!" Momma's voice yelled out as both teams shivered.

"Uh oh..." Yang said as she felt oddly terrified.

And she had fought Grimm and terrorists before, but Oum knows, you never piss off a mother.

"I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KICK HER SO HARD IN THE P***Y THAT HER FUTURE CHILDREN WILL FEAR CRAWLING OUT OF IT!" Momma yelled as Winter felt terrified.

"Oh no...Winter is going to die..." Weiss said as she had to think of a plan.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Momma yelled as she rounded the corner.

And Winter felt scared for her life as she saw a lady with eyes burning so full of hate that she swore the skin was going to split down the middle and reveal a flaming skull with hollowed out eyes about to take her soul down to hell. It didn't also help that she had a bowie knife in her hand, and blood on her apron from when she was butchering a deer before she came here. So she looked extra intimidating, and Winter suddenly realized that she did not want to die. And this angry mother scared her more than General Ironwood.

"ARE YOU HER?!" Momma pointed the bloody knife at her.

Winter was not a woman easily frightened, she had faced down Grimm, General Ironwood when he was angry, and her own father, but this...THIS WOMAN...THIS HELLBEAST scared the absolute shit out of her.

"NO IT WASN'T HER MOMMA!" Weiss called to the woman, as she didn't actually know her name, as far as she knew, her name was Momma.

"THEN WHO IS SHE?" She snarled as Winter could swear she saw the woman's eyes turned black.

"She is uhm...she's..." Weiss tried to think of a way to save her sister.

"SHE'S JERRY'S GIRLFRIEND!" Nora yelled out as Momma suddenly froze.

"Wait, what was that?" She said as she no longer had the aura of a killer.

"WHAT?!" Weiss yelled at Nora.

"Yeah! Uhm, We ran into her at the game! She just got back from a trip abroad! So she met us at the game!" Nora was trying to think of a fake cover story to use.

Momma's head slowly turned to Winter, as she walked forward, actually she didn't walk forward, it was almost like she slid forward like a ghost to look at Winter.

"Hmmmm..." She said as she inspected her face.

"A beautiful elegant face..." She said as she looked at Winter from every angle.

"Child bearing hips..." She said as she looked up front.

"..." She saw that Winter was well equipped.

"ALRIGHT!" She yelled out as Winter jumped.

"I APPROVE! OH BOY! My son got himself a sophisticated lady right here!" Momma said as she smacked Winter on the back.

"Weiss...Nora...If I could speak to you two for a second." She said as she sent a glare towards Nora.

Winter went into a seperate room with Weiss and Nora. Weiss was also pissed at her orange haired friend. And gave her a glare as they all walked towards the woman's bathroom.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Weiss yelled at Nora.

"I was thinking 'Gee, maybe I should do something before Winter gets her head cut off by a pissed off mother!'" Nora replied.

"But seriously?! My cover was as the lover of that buffoon!" Winter said not believing this was happening.

"Hey! You wanted her to not try and kill you, so I went with the option that was most suitable, that way not only was she less likely to hurt you, but would most likely welcome you with open arms, especially since you can't get back home right now!" Nora said as Winter twitched.

"Wait, how did you know that?" She asked.

"Simple, you were probably sent here by the professors to ensure that we were okay, but it was also probably only a one way trip, and even then you probably couldn't guarantee you would end up in the same place, so there was probably no possible way that they could hold open a portal back home for that long, so in other words, you probably were sent here just as a precaution to make sure we were all safe and healthy, and actually have no way of going home!" Nora said with a gleeful smile.

"H-How did you know all that?" Winter asked shocked that she figured it all out so easily.

"Just a hunch!" She said as she took a few gulps of maple syrup.

"While I can understand Nora's plan, I can't say I approve of your cover of dating this...this..." Weiss was trying to find a nice word.

"Degenerate?" Winter suggested.

"Hey! He's not a degenerate, he's just...well, he's just different." Nora said not sure how to defend Jeremiah.

"Only one thing to do..." Winter said as she walked out.

* * *

 **A FEW HOURS LATER**

"Woah! Hey! What are you-" Jeremiah was pinned against a wall back at the house by Winter.

He would be lying if he said he didn't have a certain dream like this once, granted it was with Goodwitch, but the basics still applied.

"Now listen, I am sure by now you know about Nora's cover story..." She said while she was glaring at him.

"Uh Yes, you're supposed to be my...hahahah, snuggly bunny." He laughed until he saw a blade near his crotch.

"If you call me that again, I will cut your balls off..." She warned.

"Gee, tough crowd..." He said as he crossed his legs.

"I understand I am to pretend to be your girlfriend until such time that we go home, and I must say you do not impress me, you do not impress me at all." She said as Jeremiah felt pieces of his self esteem fade away.

"That's kind of cold." He said.

"So, until we go home, I will buy into this foolish cover story, but until then..." She let him go.

"I swear to god I will groom you into a Gentleman if it kills me." She said with determination.

"...Son...of a...BITCH."


	16. Lesson with Winter

**Okay, another one. Its been a good day. Looking forward to the future. Sorry this is a little late, I'm in a bad mood, some asshole stole my american flag and smashed my truck tail lights when I parked in my driveway. I had to get them replaced, but the cops got the guys.**

* * *

"This is bull!" Jeremiah said as he was sitting at a table.

"Oh quit whining!" Winter said as she was trying to teach him.

"This is completely stupid! Why do I need to know this!" He yelled back at her, unsure as to why she wanted to do this.

"Simple, I told you I was going to make you a gentleman, so this is a part of your education!" She said as she was getting irritated with him.

"Why the hell do you need more than one fork?! I can eat my steak, potatoes, and beans all with one fork! Why the hell is there a seperate one for salad? I don't even eat salad!" He said as he was looking at the silverware arrangement.

Seriously? What was with fancy folks and having to have more than three eating utensils. All he needed was a fork, a spoon, and a knife. Why the hell did you need three of each? It was complete idiocy! It would be like having more than one plate for the main course. And as it turns out, that was also a thing with fancy people! WHY WERE FANCY PEOPLE SO WEIRD?!

"Are you going to complain about everything?" She asked as she put her hand on the table.

"Look, I don't see why you're so determined to make me a gentleman, its not like we're actually dating!" He said as she sighed.

"Be that as it may, I doubt any woman would look at you and take you as you are now without teaching you some form of proper manners." She said as Jeremiah groaned.

"I will have you know I can be very wall mannered, but not when its fake like this!" He said as he stood up.

"I mean come on! Look at this? Multiple utensils? Proper dining measures? Kitchen etiquette? I'm not looking to hang out with high society, look at me!" He said as he showed off his t shirt.

NORTHERN BORN WITH SOUTHERN ROOTS

"Do I look like the kind of guy who is suitable to be a gentleman?" He said as Winter took a look at him.

"No, you look more like the average man who spends his time cleaning his rifles." She said as he smiled a bit.

"You got that part right there Ice Queen." He said as Winter groaned.

"Even here I can't get away from that nickname." She said as he raised an eyebrow.

"You know, would it make you feel any better if I told you Weiss has the same nickname?" He said as Winter looked at him.

"She told me, I laughed at her since that was also my nickname when I went through Atlas Academy." She said as they were finally reaching a middle ground.

"Let me guess, you didn't get along well with your peers?" He asked as she nodded.

"Either they saw me as the Schnee girl, or they saw me as a girl who was, in your terms, a 'ball breaker.'" She said.

"Oh you? Noooo, never." He said as that got a chuckle out of her.

"Oh yes, trust me, I was much more of a pain back then, you would not have liked me." She said as Jeremiah chuckled a bit.

"Oh trust me Winter, when I was in high school, I went through a goth phase, I even wore black lipstick and eyeliner, confused the hell out of my parents...hell even confused the hell out of me." He said as he remembered that phase.

It lasted a few months until he realized he was way too much of a country boy to be goth.

"No way!" She said as she couldn't believe this gun toting redneck could be a goth kid.

"Wait here! I'll get the pictures!" He said as this was going to be funny, and it got him out of etiquette lessons.

Seriously, it was good she didn't realize he was diverting her attention away from the etiquette lessons. Because lord knows they were boring as hell.

* * *

 **WITH RWBY AND JNPR**

"DAMN IT! WHY DO YOU KEEP USING THAT BLUE SHELL?!" Jaune yelled at Ruby as they were playing Mario Kart 64.

Yeah, Jeremiah had a shit ton of video games in his basement. He had a nintendo 64, NES, SNES, PS2, PS3, seriously it was like a treasure trove of video games. So they had all started playing pairs on mario kart.

So far it was Pyrrha and Jaune vs Weiss and Ruby. And so far, Weiss and Ruby were kicking ass.

"WHY AM I GETTING SO MAD?!" Pyrrha had never felt this pissed off in her life.

She had played video games before, but they had never been this annoying. Hell, twice she had thought about ending her friendship with Ruby because of that damn blue shell. Seriously?! What was it about that damn thing that made her want to cut a bitch?!

She actually gasped at herself, how could she call Ruby a bitch? Good Oum, what was this game doing to her?

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHOOSE RAINBOW ROAD?!" Weiss yelled out very unladylike, this game was really messing her up.

Seriously?! Who the heck picks Rainbow road? Well, Ruby picked it out because she thought that something named Rainbow road couldn't possibly be all that bad. She had never been so wrong in her life.

"IT LOOKED PRETTY!" Ruby snarled as she fell off again.

"OH COME ON!" Weiss yelled at her partner.

"HA! GOT YOU!" Jaune said as he threw a banana peel at Weiss's cart.

"SUCK IT ARC!" She had never spoken to anybody this way before in her life.

"So what do you think Winter is up to right now?" Blake asked Yang.

"Probably trying to turn Jeremiah into a gentleman." She said as Blake chuckled a bit.

"Somehow I doubt that will work." She said as she went back to reading her book.

"Why not?" Yang asked as Blake just raised an eyebrow.

"You...do realize we saw him drinking straight whiskey out of a beer bong right?" She asked as Yang remembered that.

It was a bad night for him, his ex girlfriend was now dating his ex boyfriend, and it got super awkward, after some consoling, Yang made a bet that he couldn't down a whole bottle of Jameson in a beer pong. He took her up on that challenge and proved her wrong.

But his stomach was burning for hours afterwards from the alcohol.

"Can we please not talk about the fact that Winter is pretending to date Jeremiah of all people!" Weiss said as she was getting pissed at this game.

Or was she mad at Jeremiah?

"Awwww, whats the matter Weiss Cream?" Yang asked teasing her.

"Don't like Jeremiah?" She asked.

"I just don't want him dating my sister! Is that such a crime?" She asked as she beat Pyrrha.

"YEAH SUCK IT PYRRHA!" She said as she did a crotch chop.

"W-What is happening to me?" She asked as she had NO Idea what she just did.

"Wow." Yang said as she couldn't believe this was happening.

* * *

 **BACK WITH JEREMIAH AND WINTER**

"How the in the world do you look pretty?" Winter said as she couldn't believe this picture was the same guy.

The man in front of her had a shaved head, a beard, and was wearing a shirt with some sort of blond man on top of a tank with a rifle, and an american flag in the background. The boy in the picture was the exact opposite. He had long curly hair dyed pitch black, and was wearing makeup including black lipstick and black nailpolish, while wearing a shirt labeled "Suicide Silence." Overall, he looked like a miserable little shit.

"Because apparently I have one of those faces where with a bit of makeup, you can look very feminine." He said as Winter was actually suppressing giggles.

"Wait..." She said as she realized something.

"YOU TRICKED ME!" She said as she realized he just got out of etiquette lessons.

"Oh...Uh...GOT TO RIDE!" He yelled as he ran outside.

"GET BACK HERE!" She yelled as she ran after him.

"HI HO SILVER! AWAY!" He yelled as he ran out the door and onto his horse...her name wasn't Silver. It was actually Sarah Jessica Parker...

Okay that joke was in bad taste. His Horse's name was actually McClintock. After the John Wayne movie.

"What the? They have horses?" She asked as she saw another one.

"Hm, jokes on him, Father had me in equestrian training since I was three." She said as she mounted a pitch black horse.

"After him!" She said as the horse whinnied and shot off like a bullet.

"Ha ha! You can't catch me!" He taunted as he sped up.

Winter growled, she swore she was going to make him into a Gentleman. But now they were riding horses playing what appeared to be an adult version of tag.

"Can't you take anything seriously?!" She was frustrated.

"Just this!" He said as he pulled out his 1886 winchester.

"Wait, where did you-" She was cut off as she heard the sound of gunshots and glass shattering.

"Yeah, I'm a good shot." He said with a cheesy grin.

"Tch." She said as she activated the gun feature on her sword.

And instantly shot three bottles without looking.

"Woah...that...was...AWESOME!" He said as he suddenly turned his horse around and went up to her.

"Do it again!" He said as she was getting irritated.

"I came here to teach you, not to entertain you!" She growled out.

"Again!" He said like a child.

"..." She couldn't believe a grown man was pouting.

"Fine...one more time." She said as he cheered.

"Yay!" He said as she sniffed the air.

"Wait a minute, were you drinking during our lessons?" She asked as she could smell booze.

"Maaayyybbbbeeee." He said with a grin.

"How did you manage that? I never took my eyes off of you?" She asked wondering how he managed that.

"Once again, we live about a few miles away from Wisconsin, those guys innovated a ton of ways to sneak drink, just ask Green Bay!" He said.

It was true, last time he was up there, they were working on ways to maximize drinking all the time. Hell he one time found a way for them to sneak beer in a hidden extra gas tank...you had to be careful over which one you put the hose into to siphon it out, you go to get a drink of miller high life, the champagne of beers, and you end up with a mouthful of premium.

"...Okay thats it." She said as she reached into his jacket and pulled out his flask.

"Hey what are yo-" His eyes widened as she threw it up in the air and sliced it in half.

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed like Bluto in Animal house.

That was Laguvulin 16! He only bought one bottle a year! Due to the fact he mostly bought cheap liquor.

"From now on, you will cut down on your drinking..." She said simply, although to him it might as well have been hell.

"But...muh booze..." He thought as Winter noticed that his horse seemed to be comforting him. Almost as if it understood his pain.

"Oh, you'll get over-" She was cut off by the sound of him inhaling deeply.

Only to notice he had a big fat cigar in his mouth.

"What?" He asked as she growled.

"No smoking either!" She yelled as she smacked it out of his mouth.

"NNNOOOOOOOO! That was a cuban! Do you know how long it took for them to finally lift the embargo on that?!" He said as it took him weeks just to get that one.

"While you have your lessons with me, there will be no smoking and no drinking! I swear, I will make you a decent citizen if my life depends on it!" She said as Jeremiah sighed.

"I'm already a decent citizen, for gods sake, I just like to have fun, its boring if you can't have a little fun in your free time." He said as Winter didn't let up.

"Okay fine, party pooper." He said as she turned around.

"Meet me back at the house, we still have work to do." She said as she rode back to the house, a triumphant smirk on her face.

What she didn't realize was that Jeremiah had walked over to the cigar she had knocked out of his mouth, and lit it again.

"Hey, I paid good money for this, I'm not letting a Cuban go to waste." He said as he smoked his cigar.

This was a good day after all.


	17. Bedtime for Bonzo

**Okay, I am in the process of writing another chapter for the reboot of Endless possibilities and Punisher, I also have a new story. Now some are asking why Endless and punisher are taking so long.**

 **Well, its because this story is a LOT of fun to write! Punisher is more drama and angst, so I need to be in the right mood to write it, and Endless, well I have a lot of chapters in the works for the reboot and its hard to get back into the funk of things after the whole 'may get removed' debacle.**

* * *

"I can't believe this..." Jeremiah said as he wasn't allowed in his own bed.

"Don't look at me, your mother insisted we stay in your room." She said as she was laying on a queen sized bed in some sleep wear she had borrowed from his mother.

Which honestly, she thought looked hideous. It was an old nightgown that her great great grandmother would have worn. But it was all they had on hand. Needless to say, Winter was going to have Jeremiah take her shopping tomorrow for some new Pyjamas, and possibly a new wardrobe. He told her as long as he didn't have a repeat situation of when he had to buy clothes for Team RWBY and JNPR he would be fine.

"I know, and obviously I will give my bed up, but that nightgown looks horrible on you." He said as he was being honest.

"Oh a woman loves to hear that." She said as she glared at him.

"Oh, like you didn't think the same thing!" He said back.

"..." She knew she couldn't deny it, because it was an ugly night gown.

"Why did your mom want me wearing this again?" She asked as they heard a knock on Jeremiah's bedroom door.

"Yeah ma?" He asked as his mom poked her head in.

"Well sweetie, I made her win that nightgown because you know you're not allowed to touch each other until marriage, otherwise Jesus won't let you into heaven." She said with a smile.

"Mom...you told me I was a broken condom baby when I was thirteen, and you weren't married yet." He said as she shook it off.

"And thats why its important for you to remain abstinent!" She said as Jeremiah was confused.

"But you said you want grandchildren!" He didn't know what to think.

"Not right away!" She said as she left.

Winter didn't know what to think, she was wearing an ancient nightgown that smelled like old people. She was in a stranger's bed and pretending to be his girlfriend. And here sister was downstairs swearing and cussing at how her teammate had 'Picked oddjob' whatever the hell that meant.

"Seriously, how can you be hogging all the blankets?" Jeremiah said as he only had the itchy blanket.

"Because I need them." She said as she tucked herself in.

"Don't tell me the 'Women are always cold' stereotype is true with you?" He asked as she huffed and opened her eyes.

"At least I'm not the one with Captain America bedsheets." She said as she couldn't believe this room was the result of a grown man living here.

There was comic book and star wars memorabilia. There were a few posters of Alaska and Texas on the walls, multiple bookshelves containing various history, drama, epic, and crime novels. As well as a dresser and a closet full of random stuff. Overall, this looked like the room of a teenager, not an adult.

"Hey! I happen to like Captain America, and don't tell me those sheets aren't comfortable." He said in his defense.

In reality, they were really comfy sheets, made out of egyptian silk, but also with a slight hint of wool, so they gave you the softness of Silk, but also the warm comforting feeling of wool. Add that onto the fact that he had a homemade yarn blanket as one of the covers, it only made him so much warmer at night. And Winter was really enjoying it.

"Okay son, your mother and I are going to...why are you two sleeping separately?" He asked as Winter blanked out.

"What?" She asked.

"Come on, I know you two are dating, I doubt its the first time you have slept in the same bed, we don't judge here." He said as Jeremiah blushed.

"DAD!" He yelled out.

"Oh come on, like thats the worst thing you've done in this bed, remember the time we walked in on you and your ex boyfriend?" He said as it was Winter's turn to look surprised.

"BOYFRIEND?!" She asked shocked at what she heard.

"That was one time! And don't remind me!" He said as he remembered that night.

He had been dating one guy at the time, and they were sleeping in the same bed while his parents were on vacation. It just so happened his parents came home a day early, and found them sleeping in each other's arms. Needless to say, that was one awkward conversation.

Even though they didn't sleep with each other.

"Nothing to be ashamed about, so you like penis and vagina, no one is judging you for that." His dad said rather brashly as Winter didn't know whether to blush, or laugh.

"Just...go to bed." He said as his dad left the room.

"Okay, thats it." He said as he crawled into the bed.

"What are you doing?" Winter asked as he was right next to her.

"Hey, I just had to relive the time my dad walked in on me and my ex boyfriend, I think I deserve to lay in my own bed." He said as he tucked himself in.

"...Fine, but don't you try anything." She warned as he just settled in.

"Trust me, I won't do a thing, especially not in that nightgown." He said as she glared.

"I still fill it out better than you do those pajama pants." She said as he smirked.

"So you have been checking me out." He grinned.

Winter glared as she turned her back to him. She was way too tired to do this right now. And frankly, if it wasn't for the fact that there were no more rooms, due to RWBY and JNPR taking up the rest, she would have preferred to be in a seperate room. But then again, that would look suspicious to Mama. And Winter knew she didn't want to piss that woman off again.

With those cold...staring...unblinking eyes, that promised you nothing but misery and pain for the rest of your life. She thought her father could be an asshole, but Jeremiah's mother scared the hell out of her. Who knew a woman without Aura could be so scary.

"NO DING DING WITHOUT THE WEDDING RING!" His mother yelled out.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE MOM! WE'RE NOT HAVING SEX! AND I'M TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD!" He yelled.

"WELL EXCUSE ME! BY THE WAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING?" She yelled back.

"JUICY JUICE AND BACON PLEASE!" He yelled through the walls.

"Seriously? A juice box and bacon?" She asked as she couldn't believe what she just heard.

"I promised Mom I wouldn't drink so much in the morning anymore, so I just go with juicy juice, its cheap, and we have a ton of them due to winning a contest for a lifetime supply when I was a kid." He stated in his defense.

Also because Juicy Juice was awesome! Winter couldn't understand his love for the drink. But if you were a kid in the late 90s and early 2000s, you know that the best things in life were Juicy Juice, Dunkaroos, and the Nintendo 64. Winter just shrugged it off. She laid her head down on the pillow and sunk into the bed. Only to find her head leaning on something hard. She reached under her pillow and found a Smith and Wesson MP 40.

"What the?" She asked as Jeremiah took it.

"Oh sorry, thats mine." He said as he put it under his pillow.

"You sleep with a gun under your pillow?" She asked wondering why anyone would be so paranoid.

"Yeah, for robbers, and when the FBI comes for the still in the basement." He said as she looked confused.

"What the heck is a still?" She asked never hearing of such a term.

"Oh yeah...high society girl, er, never mind, you don't need to know." He said.

He didn't need her knowing that his dad made moonshine in the basement and distributed it to his friends. Hey it was a way to keep him occupied, after the old man retired, he needed something to do in his free time.

"Let's just try and get some sleep." She said as she laid her head down.

"Good night Winter." He said.

"Good night Mr. Cotten." She said as Jeremiah sighed.

"You can call me by my real name you know." He said to her, Mr. Cotten was his father, he was not a Mr. Cotten.

"Very well...Jerry." She said as he groaned.

"You're trying to annoy me now aren't you?" He asked as she smirked.

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

"What is that-" Winter was cut off as a giant ball of fluff jumped on the bed.

"Oh hey Zeus." Jeremiah said as the dog barked and settled down on the bed.

"Aren't you going to get him off?" She asked as Zeus looked at her.

With those adorable puppy dog eyes, that made you want to smack yourself for even suggesting that the dog couldn't stay in the bed.

"Sorry _Honey,_ but this is my dog, he's been here longer, he gets special privleges." He said as Zeus nodded his head.

"WOOF!" He barked out as she laid as he pushed Jeremiah closer to Winter, and then proceeded to lay on both of them to prevent them from moving.

They were soon face to face with each other, and Zeus wasn't moving. The truth was, he knew his master/best friend/bacon buddy/favorite human needed some love in his life, and considering his last few relationships, this one could go well.

Zeus thought back to one girl that his best buddy dated, she was very bitchy and didn't like dogs, and she told his friend "Its the dog or me!" Needless to say, it was obvious who Jeremiah chose. Then there was one man who was way too cowardly to fit in with the family. And then just various women and occassionally men who did not live up to Zeus's approval.

The fact that Zeus actually seemed to be pushing his best buddy towards Winter, was proof that he could see something in the two.

Or he was just trying to be a dick, no one could ever tell.

"Your dog...is annoying me." Winter said as Zeus just looked proud of himself.

"Look, I don't want to push him off, so how about we just go to sleep, besides, its not like we'll wake up in each others arms." He said to her face as she sighed.

"Fine, but tomorrow you sleep on the floor." She said as he nodded.

"Deal." He said as they both closed their eyes.

Zeus meanwhile was smirking a dog grin. He didn't know why, but he felt something for this Winter girl, she reminded him of the younger white haired girl who was always feeding him treats. He liked her. And he could smell the two were related. He liked his master's new friends, they were so nice to him. And the bubbly orange haired, red and black haired, and the younger white haired sister were his absolute favorites.

And of course, it didn't take long at all for him to work his cute dog charms on all of them. He had never been fed so many treats in his life. Which may have been why he was pushing Winter and Jeremiah together right now.

If they mated, they would be mated for life, which meant Small white haired girl would have to stay with them. And in Zeus's mind, that only meant one thing.

SO...MANY...DOG TREATS!

He could see it now! Milkbones! Bacon strips! Denta stix! Mint sticks! Steak bones! Meatballs! Oh joy of joys! He could taste them already.

"Zeus! I have a bone for you!" Weiss called as Zeus hopped off the bed.

Yes, everything was going according to plan.


	18. Breakfast Moments

**Okay, another one.**

* * *

 **THAT MORNING**

"Where are Jerry and Winter?" Nora asked as they were all sitting around the table.

Nora liked Momma, she cooked up a large breakfast of Pancakes, Sausage, Bacon, Eggs, more pancakes, and even more pancakes. Like, more than a normal person could possibly eat. But Nora was not a normal person. Needless to say, she had twenty pancakes stacked on top of each other right now in front of her. And Momma was still cooking.

Apparently she cooked so much because her adoptive mother was Italian, and those people will feed you until you explode. Jeremiah knew that from experience from whenever he went to go visit his Grandmother. Not only did she feed you until you were full, she fed you until you couldn't eat for a week. His grandmother's cooking was the reason why his Grandfather had such a hard time fitting into his coffin.

"Didn't he ask you not to call him that?" Weiss asked.

"I'm allowed because I'm cute!" Nora said as Momma put down another plate of pancakes in front of her.

"It makes me so happy that you like my cooking!" Momma said as she patted Nora's head like a child.

"Yay!" She said as she dug in again.

"Haaaaaeeeeee" They heard noises coming from upstairs.

"Looks like Jeremiah is up." Momma said.

"Winter too." Weiss said as she knew that noise from anywhere.

You think with Winter being in the military, she would be used to getting up early, yet she still needed coffee to function like a normal human being.

They heard bones creaking and ghosts wailing as they saw two humanoid structures tumble down the stairs. One had white hair cascading down in front of her face like Samara from the Ring, while walking with a slouch with her hands strecthed out in front of her like she was reaching to take someone with her to the grave. While the other one was male, but looked like a corpse. His eyes looked like hollowed out pits, with nothing but blackness staring back, his skin as pale as the moonlight, his hands reaching out to Momma.

"Ah, good thing we always have a pot of coffee." She said as she poured a cup for both Winter and Jeremiah, making sure to spice his up with baileys irish cream.

"Thaake uuu..." The male one said as he he handed the other cup to the white haired woman.

"Mi...derest thaks." She mumbled out as no one could understand what they were saying.

Both of them tilted their heads back and downed the black brew in one fatal gulp.

Suddenly, life returned to them. Their eyes grew bright with light, their skin no longer seemed deathly pale. And overall, they were finally awake.

"Ah, thank you." Winter said as she relied on coffee to get out of bed.

"Yeah, Thanks Ma." Jeremiah said as he was enjoying his coffee that kept you running, but knocked you out at the same time.

"Awwww, you two are holding hands." Ruby stated as they both looked down.

And surprisingly, they actually were, apparently they both had been holding hands while sleepwalking. Both immediately drew their hands back, with Jeremiah wondering when that happened, And Winter wondering why she didn't notice it earlier.

"You two are so cute together!" Momma said as she sat down.

"Now why don't you two tell me how you met?" Momma said as both Winter and Jeremiah froze.

 _"Crap, we didn't think that far ahead."_ They both thought at the same time as Winter looked for a distraction.

"Is your dog sitting at the table?" She asked as she saw Zeus was indeed in a chair waiting to be fed.

"WOOF!" He barked out in approval.

"Oh don't mind Zeus, he always sits with us." Jeremiah said as Ruby gushed.

"Daawwww, he's just like Zwei!" Ruby said as she scratched Zeus behind the years.

Jeremiah didn't even want to think about Zeus and Zwei together, lord knows those two were cute enough on their own, who knows what could happen if they were to be in the same room at the same time. He imagined that would be cuter than Ruby's puppy dog eyes. So much cuteness is one room. It was almost impossible to think about.

"If we were to get back on topic..." Momma said as her voice got deep.

 _"HOw...did...YOU...MEET?"_ She said in a scary voice as both Winter and Jeremiah were slightly scared.

"We met in-" Winter was about to come up with a cover.

"A bar!" Jeremiah finished.

She turned to glare at him, really a bar? That was the best he could come up with.

"Oh...of course...why am I not surprised." His mother went back to her breakfast.

 _"Wait, did that seriously work?"_ Winter thought as she shot him a look.

"Did you not see the amount of Rum bottles in my room?" He whispered in her ear.

"Oh yeah..." She said as she thought he had a bit of a problem.

Still though, good to see he wasn't a complete obnoxious drunk, unlike some asshole she had met before. She narrowed her eyes, that stupid, old scruffy looking, drunken asshole! She was of course referring to a dusty old crow, who apparently loved booze more than he loved himself. Which was kind of sad when you thought about it. She really hoped that her pretend boyfriend didn't turn out like him.

"Yay! Juicy Juice!" Jeremiah said as he grabbed a fruit punch juice box.

"..." Her worries were put aside, this man may have been a possible alcoholic, but no man who got excited over a juice box could be that bad.

Although he might possibly be mentally challenged. A common side effect of alcohol killing most of your brain cells.

"I also made you a pancake with a bacon and egg face." Momma said as Jeremiah was very happy.

 _"Seriously? Is he a child?"_ Winter thought as Momma sat down a plate in front of her.

"I know you're a little fancier, so I made you some swedish pancakes with a strawberry jam face." Momma said as Winter looked down at the smiley face staring back at her.

 _"...What the heck kind of family am I dealing with?"_ Winter thought to herself.

She thought back to her own childhood. Breakfast was always served on time, and you were to eat it with proper manners. Such as she had been trying to teach Jeremiah. but now here she was, eating a pancake with a jam face on it, and she was watching the rest of her friends, and her sister eat with such gusto, that it made her question how she was raised.

"Is something wrong?" Momma asked as Winter shook her head of the thoughts.

"Oh its nothing, just, not used to this." She said as took a bite of her swedish pancakes.

"These are very good." She said as she had to admit, Momma was a good cook.

"Oh well thank you darling." Momma said with a smile, anyone who liked Momma's cooking couldn't be so bad.

"Neeeeeeeehhhhh, FWWOOOOOMMM." She turned over to see her fake boyfriend making airplane noises with his mouth while bringing the fork up to his mouth.

 _"...He's not normal."_ Winter thought as she ate her food in relative peace. While occasionally keeping her manners.

"AAAH SHIT! MY HEAD HURTS!" Dale woke up from the couch as he was clutching a jug of moonshine.

"Well I told you not to drink so much last night!" Momma said as Weiss looked over.

"Wait, you were on the couch?" Weiss could have sworn she saw him go to bed with his wife.

"I accidentally made a comment about my wife's cooking that I made when I was drunk, so I spent the night on the couch." He said as he came over to sit down for breakfast.

"You're lucky I love you, otherwise I would report to Grandmama what you said." Momma said as his Dale's face went pale.

"No no no! No need to report to Grandmama!" He said in a panic.

"Why are you so scared of Jeremiah's grandmother?" Nora asked.

"My Meemaw can be a very...VERY scary person, that and you may think my mom cooks a lot, but my grandma makes my mom look like she's a starving child." Jeremiah said as he remembered being sent to his Grandparents as a kid.

It was a miracle he wasn't fat by now. Considering Meemaw fed him enough to make him explode all over the table.

Winter was just getting more and more weirded out. Truth be told was, she didn't know how normal families operated. As a child, her and Weiss, and her pain in the ass brother had very strict upbringings, you were given a schedule, and you stuck to it no matter what. You were not allowed a lot of freedom, and you were definitely not allowed a lot of leisure time. If you have time for fun, you have time for practice was what her father always said. She clenched her fist tightly. She was not on the best terms with her father right now, they had a bit of a falling out, and she had not called him in a few months. Granted, she couldn't do that now, but still, seeing how Jeremiah and Weiss's friend interacted with his family, it made her feel slightly curious. Was this what she had been missing out on?

Granted, the dog at the table was a little weird.

"Why do you let him sit at the table?" Winter couldn't help but be worried his shedding fur would get into the food.

"He's family! Besides, you try saying no to that face, ain't that right you little fluffy puppy!" Jeremiah said as he petted Zeus on the head.

"WOOF!" Zeus barked out as he continued to eat his dog food.

"Little?" Pyrrha asked, that dog was anything but little.

"Hey! He will always be a puppy to me! Ever since I adopted him from the rescue shelter!" He said as he remembered the day he first adopted Zeus.

It was one of the happiest days of his life. Zeus was the MOST adorable fluffy puppy he had ever seen!

"I think you and that dog have had a better connection than any of your exes..." Dale said as Winter looked at him.

"Oh! Except you of course! I mean, I can tell you two have a connection!" Dale said as Momma nodded.

"Really?" Both Winter and Jeremiah looked at each other with confused looks.

How did they have a connection? They were from two different worlds! QUITE LITERALLY!

Winter was a huntress from another world who hunted monsters for a living as part of a special unit of the Atlas Armed forces, Jerermiah was more of a redneck who prepared for the end of days. Winter was refined and elegant, Jeremiah looked like the kind of person who could piss in a coffee can when he was out hunting. Winter had an air of grace about her. Jeremiah had an air of booze about him.

What connection was there?

"Woof!" Zeus had walked over to Winter and placed his head in her hand.

"Well, I guess he is kind of cute..." Winter said as she had to admit, this was one big fluffy dog.

"WOOF!" He barked in approval as he snuggled his head into her lap.

 _"He's...so...fluffy."_ Winter thought as her hand brushed against his fur.

"Come on Zeus! I don't get any love?" Jeremiah said in a teasing tone as Zeus got a glint in his eyes.

He gently mawed Winter's hand and placed her hand on top of Jeremiahs. Both looked at each other as Zeus got a proud look in his eyes.

"Okay...this is something straight out of disney..." Jeremiah said as he was not expecting that.

"Oh! You two should go on a date tonight!" Momma said as Jeremiah looked at her.

"What? But Ma! I have school soon!" He said as she shook her head.

"No you don't. Remember? Your campus closed down because students complained they were emotionally traumatized by someone wearing a Pro 2nd amendment shirt." Momma said as Jeremiah remembered that.

Seriously that was embarassing, why did his fellow college students have to be so mentally weak? Seriously? It was a t shirt!

"I would be...up to that." Winter said, but only to maintain their cover.

"Er, I guess I could." He didn't know what to do.

"How about Pyrrha and I come along!" Jaune said trying to help the situation.

"Yes! I am sure it would be fun that way!" Pyrrha said with a smile.

 _"Are you sure this is a good idea?"_ Pyrrha used sign language to communicate with her partner.

 _"Considering that we need to help them maintain their cover, yes it is, besides..."_ He trailed off as he whispered the last part in her ear.

"Tell me you don't want to see what would happen?" He whispered in her ear as she got a surprisingly evil smirk on her face.

"It could be funny..." She trailed off.


	19. A date!

**Okay, I enjoy writing Out of place, so I'm able to write faster with its chapters, the reboot of Endless possibilities is on hiatus until after finals, and Punisher, well a chapter is ALMOST complete.**

 **Also to one reviewere: No Winter and Jeremiah did not meet at the cubs game, they ran into her at the cubs game, where she supposedly just got back from a study abroad.**

* * *

"How the hell does anyone tie these things?" Jeremiah was trying to figure out how to tie a tie.

"Oh for Oum's sake." Winter said as she walked over to him.

Luckily she had to learn how to do this a long time ago. Her father thought it would have been a good skill for her to learn if she ever had a husband who needed help with his tie. She grimaced a bit, the more she thought about it, what would be the point? If someone couldn't even figure out how to do something as simple as Tying a tie, why would she be dating them in the first place. No one was that inept. Except Jeremiah.

"Thank you." He said as he couldn't figure it out.

"Why didn't you just go with a clip on, and second, how do you not know how to do this?" She asked as Jeremiah sighed.

"You do realize I drive an old beat up truck with a flag with Dubya's face on it right? Do I look like the fancy dinner and tie kind of guy?" He asked as she had to admit, he was right there.

She had no idea who this Dubya, but apparently rednecks loved him. Either way, she had no intention of learning about him. She finished tying his tie for him as she backed down and went back to combing her hair. **(1)**

"Where are we going anyways?" She asked as she was looking at herself in the mirror.

"Well, I figured we would go to this nice italian restaurant, its kind of fancy, so I've never been there before." He said as he knew it required you to be dressed like a gentleman.

"If you've never been to it before, then why are we going?" She asked as he was silent.

"Jeremiah?" She asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"Well uhm, its kind of embarrassing." He said with a chuckle.

"I doubt anything you say could possibly be more embarrassing of that time I chased you through Chicago." She said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, you make a valid point, well to be honest, its been awhile since I have been on a date, and I figured you seemed to be from more of a polite civilization, so I figured I would try to make this a date about your tastes." He said as he looked away.

Although you wouldn't see it, Winter was actually touched, he actually did put some thought into this? She honestly thought he was going to bomb this whole thing before it began. But he actually did have a brain in that head of his? She had to admit, she was actually impressed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. She smiled a bit as she walked over to him.

"So how do I look?" She asked as she had rented a fairly fancy dress for this restaurant.

Jeremiah had to admit, she did look attractive. The only problem was he wasn't sure if it was wrong to be attracted to a fictional character, but then again, she was right here in front of him. And she was real. So maybe he didn't have to feel awkward about this.

"You look really good." He said as she had let her hair down slightly for this date.

"Tell you what, I'll make you a deal." She said as she sat down next to him.

"We'll divide the date into two parts, first part will be us going to this restaurant with Jaune and Pyrrha, we'll have dinner, and get to know each other, have a nice chat." She said as he nodded.

"And the second?" He asked wondering what she was proposing.

"We will...focus on what you want to do..." She said as he got a shit eating grin.

"You mean to tell me, I control the second part of the date?" He said as he was suddenly very happy.

"DON'T GET ANY PERVY IDEAS." She said with a strict tone.

"WOAH! Okay you may be hot but that was not what I meant!" He said as he didn't even realize he complimented her.

"I'm...Hot?" She said not sure if she should feel complimented or not.

"Er, Yeah, sure...anyways, I do have a idea or two, I promise, its not what you think." He said trying to save face.

"Good, but until then, I expect you to be on your best behavior, which means..." She trailed off as she poked him in the chest.

"NO DRINKING." She stated loudly and firmly.

"Not even one beer?" He asked.

"No, not even one." She said.

"What if we order wine?" He asked.

"I don't enjoy wine." She said, as that kind of a lie, she was okay with it, but she didn't go out searching for it.

Unlike that drunken asshole she had met on various occassions...not Jeremiah, the other drunken sarcastic dickweed. She really didn't like him. Anyways, she shook her head, Jeremiah may have been drunk, but he had been more tolerable so far, and she had to admit, it was thoughtful of him to actually consider what she would want on a date, rather than just picking out something random.

"Are you two ready?" Jaune and Pyrrha asked as they entered the room.

"Yeah I thi...Where did Jeremiah go?" Winter asked as she suddenly saw he wasn't there.

"GAMUHFKN" Jeremiah had a sock shoved in his mouth as Weiss was glaring at him as she pushed him againt the wall.

"YOu BettER Be PolITE, OR I WILL HURT YOU!" She said in a scary voice as Jeremiah nodded up and down vigorously.

"Good, now go and have some fun." She said even though she was still mad at this whole arrangement.

"Hey! Sorry! I needed some air really quick!" He said as he came back.

"Why are you sweating?" Winter asked.

"Oh just nervous!" He said as he didn't want to tell Winter about Weiss's little demonic episode.

* * *

 **LATER**

"You got to be kidding me..." Jeremiah said as Winter had a triumphant smirk.

"Told you." She said as she had never felt so satisfied in her entire life.

"Why the hell do we actually need this many forks?!" He yelled quietly.

Seriously? This was actually happening? He thought that fancy places having extra silverware was a joke. But nope! It was real alright! What a shit load of fuck! **(2)**

Meanwhile Jaune was resisting the urge not take video of this moment, Pyrrha was trying not to laugh at their interaction. They were really acting like an old married couple, only they weren't old or married. It was just a beautiful sight. And Winter was surprisingly having a good time.

"Would you like to order?" A waiter came over as they all put down their menus.

"Ah yes, uhm, whats this word?" He asked the waiter.

"That means pasta." The waiter said.

"And this one?" He asked pointing at another word as Winter was just watching him make a fool out of himself.

"That would be a steak sir." The waiter said as Jeremiah breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Perfect, I'll take a rare steak and a pint of Guinness." He said as Winter suddenly glared at him.

"Uh, I mean, a glass of water." He said as he remembered he wasn't allowed to drink.

She let up her glare as she just gave out another smirk. The rest of the group just resisted the urge to laugh at him while they ordered.

"So, we're here to learn more about each other, so who wants to go first?" Jeremiah asked looking towards Jaune and Pyrrha.

"You already know us, why don't you two _Lovebirds_ get to know each other." Pyrrha said with a smile, while Jaune had an evil look in his eyes.

"Yeah sure.." Jeremiah honestly didn't know what to say.

"I'll start, since you have your foot in your mouth." Winter said as she was tired of waiting.

"My name is Winter Schnee, Honor Graduate of Atlas combat academy, Specialist in the Atlesian Armed forces, one of three Heirs to the Schnee Dust Company, and saber instructor." She said acting very professionally.

"What about hobbies?" Jeremiah asked.

"Hobbies?" She asked not sure what to say.

"Yeah like, do you collect stamps? Stuff like that?" He asked her.

"Uhm, well, I...I...I maintain my own weapon." She said as everyone gave her a weird look.

"That's not what I meant, what do you do for fun?" Jeremiah asked as Winter was drawing a blank

To be perfectly honest, she didn't have a lot of hobbies. Once again, her childhood was not full of a lot of leisure time, just etiquette lessons and practical skills that would be of use in high society, and that wasn't even including the grooming she had to go through just to make sure she was a proper heiress. She just didn't do a log of things for fun, maintaining her sword was truly the only thing she did to relax.

"I, I don't really know." She answered honestly.

"Spending too much time at work?" Jeremiah asked as he had seen people go through that before.

"I guess so." She said as she really didn't know what she liked to do.

"In that case, I may know how to help there, you're looking at the guy who has spent more time having fun than working in his life!" He said as Winter deadpanned.

"I don't see how thats a good thing..." She said as he sounded like a slacker.

"Oh no, I work hard, but I play harder. Its just how I roll, its how you stay happy." He said as it had never failed him before.

Granted there were a few times he woke up with a hangover the day he had to go back to work. But he never regretted it. Besides, it could be worse. He could be someone who throws a fit because their chosen candidate didn't win a contest, or he could be someone who needs a crying zone because life is too hard for them. Either way, he was happy with his life.

"So what are your plans?" Winter asked as she was feeling skeptical.

"You'll see." He said wanting to keep it a surprise.

"But for now, lets just eat." He said as an appetizer came.

"What is this?" He asked the waiter.

"Salad." The waiter said.

"What the hell is a salad?" He asked as that was not something they had in his house as a kid.

"You're joking right?" Winter asked.

"Growing up, our food groups were Beans, Bacon, Whisky, and Lard." He said as he remembered that fondly.

"You should probably get your cholesterol checked." Pyrrha said as she couldn't imagine someone surviving off a diet like that.

"Well, while I'm here, you're going to eat healthy." Winter said as she got him some salad.

"This isn't food...this is what I feed my food." He said as he begrudgingly ate it.

"You know, I didn't think this was going to be fun, but seeing you fuming over a salad and a salad fork has definitely made this worthwhile." Winter said as it was funny to see a guy who spent most of his time in the woods react to being in a public setting.

Meanwhile Jaune and Pyrrha were having a wonderful time, they had been chatting and laughing all night. It helped that they had a comedy show in Winter and Jeremiah. You know, the funny thing is, they did actually look kind of cute together. Like an opposites attract thing, Winter was elegant and refined, while Jeremiah was brash and a rough and tumble kind of person, yet somehow, something about them seemed to click. But they doubted it would move past that.

Either way, it was time to enjoy the rest of the night. But still there was the one question.

What did Jeremiah have planned after dinner?

* * *

 **(1) For all the non american readers, Dubya is George W Bush.**

 **(2) Please don't sue me Angry Video Game Nerd for using your catchphrase.**


	20. Second Dinner at Grandmamas

**Here we go again. I don't actually speak Italian, so I just used Google translate. If you are actually Italian, well then, you probably know what I am trying to say.**

* * *

"Seriously? How could they call that a steak?!" Jeremiah was pissed off.

He had managed to keep his temper while they were eating, but now Winter had to drag him by the arm just to stop him from going on a psychotic rant in the restaurant.

"Can't you just let it go?" Winter said as she didn't see what the big deal was.

"No! A filet mignon may be considered a steak, but that was even smaller than a filet mignon! I paid 12 bucks for that tiny scrap of meat! How can they sell that as a steak?!" He tried to keep his rant quiet so the people surrounding him wouldn't think he was crazy.

Meanwhile Jaune and Pyrrha were waiting in the truck laughing their asses off. They had a lovely dinner, granted they saw Jeremiah looking at his tiny shred of beef wondering how the hell any sane, rational human being could call that a steak. Seriously what kind of italian restaurant was this? He expected them to have so much food that you would be morbidly obese by the time you left, but no sir, it was a fancy posh italian restaurant, which means no 'all you can eat' option.

"At least the dessert was nice." Winter said as they had some weird dish they had never heard of before.

"That is because Cannoli are delicious! Not as good as Meemaws though, mostly because she's from the motherland! She could stuff you to the brink with Cannoli and various baked Italian goods for days!" Jeremiah had to admit, the dessert course was much better than the actual dinner.

"I was actually referring to the other dessert." Winter said trying to get his mind off of the steak.

"You mean the Tiramisu? Still nothing compared to Meemaws." He said as she raised an eyebrow.

"I doubt your Grandmother's cooking could be THAT good." She sad as Jeremiah suddenly froze.

Lightning flashed across the sky, which was odd because there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. And Winter had a forboding feeling overtake her.

"Are you okay?" She said as Jeremiah stared at her.

"Oh, you've done it now!" He said as she looked confused.

"Done what?" She asked as she felt slightly weirded out.

"You've challenged God! Now you're most likely to meet Meemaw...and she will...FEED YOU!" Jeremiah said as Winter crossed her arms.

She then flicked him in the head.

"Ow!" He said as he held his forehead.

"Don't be an idiot." She said as she walked over to the truck door.

He opened it for her, and he walked over to the driver side as soon as she was settled in. Meanwhile Jaune and Pyrrha were once again trying to keep themselves from laughing at this situation, but it was HARD. VERY VERY HARD. Granted, Winter and Jeremiah did seem to get along very well at times, it was actually surprising. Jeremiah even got her to laugh. But every now and then, Jeremiah's hot irish temper would occassionally flare up whenever something ridiculous came up.

Why the heck he had an irish temper when he was American was beyond them. But never the less it was weird.

For example, he started ranting about the size of the steak he had received like he was Joe Pesci in Good fellows. The weird part was when people who were actually from Italy joined in on the conversation. It was like watching a tiny congregation of anger and gibberish.

"Which reminds me, what were we going to do for this second part of our date?" Winter asked as Jaune and Pyrrha stopped laughing.

To be honest, they had completely forgotten about that, but based on Jeremiah's smirk, it was going to be good.

"Well first off...we didn't really get much to eat in there did we?" He asked as the food portions were pretty small.

"It wasn't that-" She was cut off by her stomach growling.

"Well, our aura does require that we eat more." Jaune said as Pyrrha agreed.

"It might be wise to get a small snack." She said as Jeremiah got a grin.

"I know the perfect place." He said as Winter was about to be very...very...shocked.

* * *

 **LATER**

"DIO MIO! HOW DARE THEY CALL THEMSELVES ITALIANS?! COME ON IN!" Jeremiah's grandmother yelled out as she ushered them all in.

She was an elderly Italian woman who was surprisingly fit for her age, granted she did have a large beer belly, possibly from all the wine and food she had consumed in her life.

"Especially you! How can you be so skinny!" She said as she pointed to Winter.

"I assure you, my weight is perfect-" She was cut off as she was forced to sit down next to Jeremiah.

"Mio caro nipote! Please, sit down! Grandmama has just the thing for you all!" Meemaw said as Jeremiah just smiled.

He loved coming to his Grandma's house, she made the best food ever. Granted, she also made sure you gained a few pounds as soon as you sat down, but that was besides the point. Winter was about to experience true bliss...as well as misery at having a stomach too full to function.

"Is this really necessary?" She asked as she heard his Meemaw cooking in the kitchen.

"Here we go!" She came out with a large bowl of pasta, a thing of garlic bread, a few servings of italian meatballs. As well as various food items.

"Come come! Enjoy!" She said as Jeremiah kissed her on the cheek.

"Grazie Nonna!" He said as she went back into the kitchen.

"Isn't she going to join us?" Winter asked.

"Just give it a minute." Jeremiah smirked and ate his food.

Winter just shrugged. The food was really delicious. Obviously he wasn't exaggerating when he talked highly about his mother's cooking. Apparently whoever these Italian Americans were, they really did enjoy their food. Still though, she didn't see what the big deal was, it was just a regular meal? Why was Jeremiah making such a big deal out of it? This meal was hardly the stomach busting meals he had described on the way here. So why did he exaggerate the claims?

Granted, this food was very..VERY good. So she would just ignore it. Besides, she was not so rude to turn down free food in a strangers house. Especially the house of her supposed lover's Grandmama. Wait, why did she just say Grandmama? Oh no! They were getting to her already.

"Ah, this is really good." Jaune said as Pyrrha was too busy enjoying the italian meatballs to say anything.

 _"Good Oum! Is this what I was missing out on all this time in training?!"_ Pyrrha though to herself as this was delicious.

She had eaten cuisine from various parts of Remnant, that was the perks of being a champion who travelled a lot for tournaments, she got to sample a lot of local cuisine. But this, this world was just amazing.

She had been introduced to various different styles of cooking when she arrived here. Cajun! Italian! All different cultures and cuisines. And there was that one time Jeremiah took them all out to some Irish pub, granted, they weren't allowed to drink, and for some reason a lot of the food items included potatoes, but it was still good.

While this place wasn't home, it was so rich in different cultures and customs, that one couldn't help but indulge in them when they were here.

"I must admit, your grandmother is quite a cook." Winter said as she patted her lips with a hankerchief as she pushed her clean plate forward.

"Dio mio! You ate quickly!" Grandmama came back and poured more food onto her plate.

"Uh, what?" Winter couldn't help but notice she poured more food on her plate, as she looked around, she noticed the dishes had all been replaced by different dishes, and even more food.

"I told you! You too skinny! Besides, you can't possibly be full after the appetizer can you now?" Grandmama said as Winter froze.

"A-Appetizer?!" She squeaked out.

THAT WAS ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED AN ENTIRE FAMILY!

"Wait, there's more?" Jaune was feeling worried for his stomach.

"I would love some more!" Pyrrha seemed to always have more room for food.

"Pyrrha?" Jaune asked in surprise.

"What the matter you no like Nonna's cooking?" Pyrrha asked as she suddenly threw her hands in front of her mouth.

"W-What did I just say?" She asked herself as Grandmama laughed.

"I will get you some more food my sweet child!" She said as she walked back into the kitchen.

"S-She's not really going to cook another course is she?!" Winter asked panicking a little bit as Jeremiah got an evil look on his face and chuckled.

 _"I warned you Winter...Grandmama going to feed you so much...you will explode all over the wall!"_ He cackled in an evil tone as he went back to eating his food.

"Dear Oum, help me!" She said as she had never eaten that much food in her entire life.

"HERE I COME!" Grandmama came back with yet another course to offer, this time loaded with Italian beef.

"NOOOOOO!"

* * *

 **TWO HOURS LATER**

"Ah that was a good meal..." Jeremiah walked out with his belly bulging out a bit.

"I must admit, your Grandmother is a very impressive woman!" Even Pyrrha had a bulging belly.

"Hey where is Jaune and Winter?" Jeremiah asked as he noticed they weren't with them.

"uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh." They heard squeaks as they looked back inside.

Jaune was currently passed out on the table. And the look on Winter's face was absolutely priceless.

Grandmama had placed a bib on her about halfway through the second appetizer round. When Winter began to slow down, Grandmama had started to feed her like a baby. Winter had to just keep eating and eating, because everytime she thought about stopping she would hear that one phrase that would make her feel guilty.

 _"What the matter? You no like Nonna's cooking?"_ And that line was enough to make you feel guilty that you had to keep eating, even when your stomach refused to take another bite.

Your stomach said no, but your eyes say yes. It was a dilemma everyone who loved food had in their lives.

"So Winter..." Jeremiah said as he got close to her.

"Do you believe me now?" He smirked as she turned her head to look at him.

"It...hurts..." Was all she could say.

"Is Jaune okay?" Pyrrha asked as she walked over to her boyfriend.

"I think he died...halfway through..." Winter said slowly.

"Guuuuuuuuhhhhhh." Jaune groaned in his sleep.

"Oh thank Oum! He's alive." Pyrrha said as Jeremiah sighed.

"Oh Winter, you got some- Never mind, I got it." He said as he took his thumb and wiped some sauce from Winter's face.

She blushed a bit at the contact, it was a little awkward, the last time someone wiped her cheek of food that had gotten everywhere was her mother and Klein. But for some reason, she found herself blushing at Jeremiah, she shook her head, it was nothing, it was probably just the massive amounts of food going to her head. She had no idea it was possible to eat that many Cannoli in one sitting.

"I did warn you." Jeremiah said as Winter gave a slight glare.

"I thought you were joking." She said as she was never going to make that mistake again.

"Can you walk?" He asked she tried to take a step.

"No, too much food." She said as everytime she moved her legs, her stomach felt a little bit tighter.

"Okay, here we go." He siad as he put his arm by her back and under her legs.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU-" She was cut off as he picked her up.

"Hey, we still got one more activity to go, and since you can't walk, I figured I would have to carry you until that food digests." He said as she was a little mad.

"If you tell anyone about this-" He cut her off.

"Yeah Yeah, you'll cut my balls off." He said as he turned to Meemaw in the kitchen.

"Buona Notte Nonna!" He called out as his Grandmother waved goodbye.

"You two have fun! And bring the blonde one back sometime, he's still too skinny!" Grandmama said as they could hear Jaune groan in his food coma.

"Will do!" He said as Pyrrha got Jaune in a bridal style carry.

"Well this is certainly an interesting turn of events." Jeremiah said as they loaded up into the truck.

"So where to next?" Pyrrha asked as she was actually surprised at how well this night was going.

"To one of my favorite places in this area." He said as he started the truck and they drove off.

While Jaune was still in his little coma, and Winter was apologizing to all that was holy for even suggesting that Jeremiah's grandmother wasn't a goddess at cooking and baking.


	21. The Gun Range And The Truth

**Here we go**

* * *

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM

"YEAAAHHHH!" Jeremiah let out a rebel yell as he just blew up a container full of fake blood and a shit ton of gunpowder.

"DUDE! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Jaune yelled as Pyrrha was just smirking.

"You really have never fired a gun before?" Jeremiah asked as he changed the magazine on his Colt AR-15.

"No, Dad didn't let us use guns, said the traditional sword and shield was enough." Jaune said as he was currently using a Remington Home Defense Model 870 shotgun.

"What the hell is he? A liberal?" Jeremiah said as he aimed and fired.

RATATATTAATATATATATATA

Meanwhile, the targets of Hitler, Bin Laden, and some lady wearing a red suit with a creepy snakelike smile on her face were getting full of lead.

Winter was finally able to walk around more and she was currently looking over to the amount of guns Jeremiah had brought with them. They had gone back to his house, and Winter had to admit, she was very impressed with his armory, but at the same time, she couldn't help but be concerned, it also didn't help that his dad was currently checking for bugs to make sure the NSA wasn't spying on them, because lord knows, once people know you're stockpiling guns, they all suddenly think you're a ticking time bomb.

"Come on Winter! Come and join us!" Jeremiah said as she had a hand to her chin.

"Excuse me! I have time to pick! Do you see how many you brought with?" She asked as she couldn't believe this all belonged to one person, this looked like enough weapons to start a militia.

"I got the perfect one for you." He said as he walked over to his truck.

"Why do you say that?" She asked as she was curious.

"Well, when I saw you fight, you seemed to kind of have an old fencing style, similar to Musketeers or something, or like something out of a Zorro movie." He said as he pulled out an old flintlock musket.

"Here we go! Our antique Charleville musket!" He said as he handed it to Winter.

"Wait, I read about the history of this world, how could you possibly afford this?" She asked as she knew this would be an expensive gun.

"I'm an American, I always have money for guns." He said as he put down his AR-15 and pulled out his favorite gun, The Winchester 1886.

"Why would a human being need this many guns?" She asked as she took aim with her musket.

"In case of the government turning on its own people...and because this shit is FUN!" He said as he fired off a few rounds.

"You Americans are crazy..." Winter said as she fired her weapon.

"But I will admit...this is fun." She said with a slight smirk.

"Oh trust me, we haven't even started yet...Jaune! PULL!" Jeremiah yelled as Jaune started throwing empty whiskey bottles into the air.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

One by one, the bottles were struck by rifle bullets, as they fell down to the earth in pieces.

"Isn't that bad for the environment?" Pyrrha asked.

"It's okay, I know the owner, he sends out some kind of weird ass robot to clean the range." He said as Jaune looked confused.

"Weird ass robot?" He asked Jeremiah.

"Yeah, he built some sort of Giant roomba that goes onto the grass and cleans up brass, glass, bullets. It's cool, but weird." He said as Winter put down the musket.

"How about we make a bet?" She said as she picked up a sig sauer AR 15.

"What kind of bet? Jeremiah asked.

"If I can hit the most targets here, with three weapons of choice, you have to become a respectful gentleman for the rest of our stay here." Winter said as she was certain she wouldn't lose.

After all, she was trained by Atlas.

"And if I win?" Jeremiah crossed his arms.

"Then I will...act like a normal person." She said as his eyes grew wide.

"Does that mean, you have to act like the rest of us?" He asked as he was shaking with excitement.

"Yes..." She said as she was a little nervous but she was certain she would win.

"Deal!" He said as they picked their first two weapons.

Winter went wiith a 12 gauge shotgun and a M1917 Enfield. Jeremiah's first and second weapons were a Colt Model 601 and a Henry repeating rifle dubbed "Big boy."

"Shooters ready?" Pyrrha was acting as the referee.

"Ready." Winter said as she got ready to take aim at her first targets.

"Ready!" Jeremiah said as he had his targets in sight.

"FIRE!" Jaune and Pyrrha yelled as they opened fire.

Jeremiah took down his first targets easily, he usually went for the midsection, but to score higher points, he was also going for the head. He knew they couldn't actually destroy the targets, so they were using the point grading system that the local police academy used during training. He took out three targets with his Colt before he had to switch to his Big Boy. He looked over at Winter, and he wasn't shocked to see her doing so well, but he was shocked to see that she was keeping pace with him. He had been trained by his dad since he was about...well he was fairly certain he was born with a revolver in his hand, but that was besides the point. His dad was a former Air Force Captain, so he had been training him in firearms for as long as he could remember.

But Winter was keeping pace, and he was worried he would have to act like he had a stick up his ass for the rest of their stay.

"Not so confident now are you?" Winter smirked as she picked up her M1917.

"Won't be able to do much damage with that will you?" He said as he was still firing his repeating rifle.

"So you say." She said as she took aim.

BOOM!

Headshot!

BOOM! Headshot!

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

She had to reload a few times before she got her target exactly the way she wanted to.

Jeremiah took out his binoculars to discover that she had made a frowny face on her silhouette target.

"Shit, she's like Riggs in Lethal Weapon!" He said as he was referring to the original movies, not the remake.

Why would they remake Lethal Weapon? Why?!

Finally Winter picked up a Sig Sauer 1911. And she went up to her last targets.

"This is where you lose." She smirked and opened fire.

Jeremiah was slightly worried, meanwhile Jaune and Pyrrha were laughing. They knew what would happen if Jerry suddenly had to go all hoity toity, it wouldn't fit him, but it would be funny. Considering Winter tried to turn him into a high society person already, but that was met with resistance, this time, he would have to obey her, after all, for some reason they took gambling very seriously in this country, and Jeremiah had some strange sense of honor that wasn't found these days.

"Well, I believe you know what to do now?" Winter said as she motioned to her target full of bullet holes.

"Actually, I don't." He said as he smirked.

"Oh?" She said as he pointed to her weapons, and then his.

"You fired three, I have yet to fire more than two. So I still get to choose one more weapon." He said as she smirked.

"Go ahead and choose, it won't be enough." She said feeling a bit overconfident.

"Any weapon I want?" He asked as he crossed his arm.

"Any weapon." She said as he smiled a devilish smile and ran off.

"Aren't you worried?" Jaune asked as he saw the look in Jeremiah's eyes.

"I did my research, there is no weapon he could possibly pick that could beat me now, I simply got too many headshots for him to catch up." She said as she saw a man lining up multiple targets in a row.

"Why is he setting them all up in a line?" Pyrrha asked as she saw the guy get off the range.

"I don't know..." Winter said as they heard a noise.

KLICK KLICK KLICK.

"Whats that noise?" Winter asked as Jaune and Pyrrha's eyes went wide.

"HNNNGGHH." She heard Jeremiah straining.

"What did you-" Winter's jaw dropped as she turned around.

Only to see that Jeremiah had somehow managed to bring out a Howitzer from the Civil War.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!" She yelled as she was suddenly very worried.

"I'm a Civil War reenactor, I'm allowed to have this!" He said with a grin as he lined up the cannon.

"NOW HOLD ON! I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS!" Winter yelled as using a cannon was ridiculous.

"You said 'Any weapon' So ha ha! I am using this weapon!" He said as Jaune and Pyrrha were just amazed that he had a cannon.

"Seriously? Don't you need a permit for this?" Jaune asked as Jeremiah loaded the cannonball.

"Only if you do live fire." He said as Pyrrha spoke up.

"But you are doing live fire..." She said as Jeremiah nodded.

"Which is why as soon as we fire this thing, we have to get out of here." He said as he turned to the gun range instructor.

"Hey Bob! You know what to do after this right?!" He yelled out to his friend.

"Yeah, hide it, claim something went wrong, but no one was hurt...you realize Mr. Schnut next door is going to file a complaint right?" Bob said as Jeremiah growled.

"If that old bastard didn't want to hear gunfire, then he shouldn't have built his mansion next to a damn gun range!" He said as he lit the fuse.

"And this Winter...is where I win." He said as he covered his ears.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

A loud boom sounded through the area, you could see the cannonball as it soared through the air, going through one target, and then another, and then another, basically eveyrthing it hit, it destroyed. And Winter realized there was no way she was wining this bet now. She had officially lost. It only got worse when she saw the cannonball explode.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Jaune said as he didn't know Cannonballs could do that.

"Shit, I used the Carcass cannoball, damn I was saving that for fourth of july..." He said as those were not easy to come across.

WEEE WOOO WEE WOOOO

"We got to get out of here!" Pyrrha said as she was certain someone was going to call the cops.

"GET IN THE TRUCK! BOB! HIDE THE CANNON!" Jeremiah yelled as Bob was frantically trying to get the cannon back into storage.

"You know, you got to come and take this damn thing back to your house sometime!" Bob yelled as Jeremiah yelled back.

"I will! Just as soon as I make a place for it!" He said as they hadn't built the part of the armory yet to fit the cannon.

If he took it home now, it would either sit outside and rust, or he would have to take the gatling gun out, and there was no fucking way that was going to happen.

* * *

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"Come on Winter!" Jeremiah said as the whole groups were sitting outside of a room.

"I don't want to!" She said from the other end of the door.

Here Atlas uniform was sitting on the table, Momma had gone out and bought her new clothes. Clothes that were more suitable for this world. Granted, Momma didn't know that they were from a different world. But that was besides the point.

"What did you do to my sister?" Weiss said as she could not believe her sister would take off uniform.

"I beat her in a shooting match." He said as Winter yelled.

"YOU USED A CANNON!" She yelled as Jeremiah was laughing.

"YOU SAID ANY WEAPON!" He laughed out.

"I DIDN'T MEAN A CANNON!" She yelled as Weiss was surprised.

"Wow, I don't think I have ever seen Winter this riled up." She said as she was not used to Winter raising her voice.

Except when their brother did something to piss her off, Winter and Whitely did not get along well. **(1)**

"Look Winter, it's not that big of a deal, you can't go around wearing that uniform all the time, besides, I'm sure whatever Momma bought you, you will look really beautiful in." Jeremiah was TRYING to be sweet, but he had very little experience with it.

"You suck at trying to butter people up." Winter said through the door.

"Look, I'm going to level with you here, this is the style here, you made a promise, now you have to keep it, besides, no one here is going to judge you for acting like a normal person, I mean heck, Weiss is wearing a shirt with a kitten on it." He said as Weiss blushed.

"I like kittens..." She said as she liked Kittens and puppies.

"Okay fine.." Winter said as they saw the doorknob turned.

Jeremiah's jaw dropped, and needless to say, Weiss was shocked, and everyone else was smiling. Winter had let her hair down, and needless to say, she did look really beautiful. She was wearing a simple long sleeved flannel shirt on top of a black undershirt, her breasts were decently covered, but showed some skin. Her uniform pants were replaced by jean shorts, not too short, but not too long. Her combat boots were replaced by regular socks and sneakers. Overall, she looked like the regular girls he saw running around, except he made sure that his Momma didn't buy her Uggs.

Not just because he didn't like them, but because he was sure Winter wouldn't like them.

"I feel exposed." She said as she had never worn clothing this short.

"Wow...you look...great." Jeremiah said as he was blushing a bit.

"I still don't know how to feel about this." She said as Jeremiah was resisting the urge to say something smart.

"I can see why I called you white haired boobie goddess when I was high." He said as she smacked him upside the head.

"Not funny!" She said as he grinned.

"But it took your mind off of the embarassment didn't it?" He asked as she suddenly realized something.

Her embarassment was quickly replaced by anger when he said something stupid.

"Did you really just say that to make me feel better?" She asked as he nodded.

"I know, its kind of weird isn't it? All I got to do is say something to make you angry, and you feel better." He said with a smile.

"...You're an idiot." She said as he smiled.

"But I'm your idiot." He said as Winter had to admit...he was charming in his own way.

"OH JUST KISS ALREADY!" Momma yelled as she saw the tension brewing.

"Woah! Mom! We're not doing that!" Jeremiah and Winter were both blushing at that.

"Oh come on! I can tell you two want to!" She said as they both looked at each other.

"Really?" They both said as they couldn't believe it.

"Now Dear, don't embarrass the poor boy, you can't just ask someone to kiss his girl in front of an audience." Dale said as Momma looked at him.

"You mean like the time we were drunk and ended up making out on stage..." She said as Dale chuckled.

"Hey! We were drunk! We had an excuse!" He said as Jeremiah yelled out.

"MA! PA! We don't need to hear the story of my conception!" He said as Winter was curious.

"Why were they on stage?" She asked as Jeremiah just ushered everyone out.

"You don't wanna know!" He said as that was not a story he wanted to tell.

They met at a bachelorette party...where his dad was the entertainment, it was embarrassing.

"By the way...we need to talk." Yang said as she looked serious.

"Yeah what is it?" He said as Ren handed him a dvd.

"We found this..." He said as Jeremiah froze at the title.

RWBY VOLUME 3.

"So...you found it..." He said as he knew this would come up.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Nora asked slightly hurt.

"Tell us what?" Pyrrha asked as Jeremiah flinched.

"Pyrrha...you may want to sit down for this..."

* * *

 **(1) Going off of Weiss saying that Whitely hates Winter in the show.**


	22. The Truth and a Gift

**Okay, so this might be my first drama chapter in this, so don't expect a lot of humor. At least until next chapter. Anyways this chapter wasn't as fun to write for obvious reasons.  
**

 **Also I do have some bad news. My laptop has crashed, I don't know whats wrong, but if we can't repair it, I have to wait til I can afford a new laptop. As of now, I am using my dads old laptop to do homework, and homework is a top priority, so I won't be updating as frequently until I finish finals and homework.**

 **I'll still try and write whenever I can.**

* * *

"I understand this is a lot to take in." Jeremiah said as Pyrrha hadn't said a word for half an hour.

"Why didn't you tell us before?!" Jaune was mad at what he had just learned.

"What was I supposed to say? How can you look someone in the eyes, a character who you grew attached to, and tell them that they're going to die?!" Jeremiah yelled as he didn't know what to do.

"So you just decide to not talk with us about it?!" Jaune yelled back in defense of his girlfriend.

"I was going to! But how do I explain that! How do I explain that your lives were going to change drastically?! How do I explain that friends and family will suffer?! How do I explain your whole life will suddenly be flipped outside down?! HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?!" He yelled as Yang was standing between them.

"Okay guys! Calm down!" You know something was wrong when Yang was telling everyone to calm down.

Ruby hated seeing this, friends were already turning on each other. Things were going so well, but after watching Vol. 3, they just couldn't believe that everything was going to change. The tournament was in a few months, and to think that things were never going to be the same after it.

"Look, I'm mad at you...but you're right, I can't imagine having to explain that." Yang said as she was trying to stay calm.

"But keep in mind, you have five minutes to explain..." She said as she cracked her knuckles.

Seeing her lose her arm was a tough scene to watch, especially with how she saw how broken she was. It didn't feel like her. And she never wanted to be like that. It was way too jarring of an experience of her. And Blake running off, Blake was horrified that she ran away again, she had a feeling that she knew why she chose to run away, but it didn't make it any less shameful for her.

But Ren and Nora having to see one friend die, and another one having to deal with the pain of heartache, it was just an awful thing to witness. Jaune watched Volume 3 with Pyrrha, and it was one of the hardest moments of his life. He couldn't believe that was how it was supposed to happen. As if it was written by destiny. He clenched his fist at the thought, what sick bastard came up with a concept as twisted as destiny.

"Look, I'm sorry guys, truly I am, but tell me, how would I tell you? Especially with how we've grown close?" He said taking on a somber tone.

No one had ever seen him this serious, it was not a pleasant sight, the usually happy positive man was replaced by a sullen and somber man. It was like someone flipped a switch on him.

"I wanted to tell you, I really did. But every time I thought about it, I just froze up and ended up drinking to try and forget about it." He said as he took his flask out.

"No." Winter said as she took the flask.

"We need you to be sober..." She said as she had taken a very serious look.

"Okay fine..." He said as he sat down.

"Look, I'm sure you all know Volume 4 was released." He said as they nodded.

"We watched it when you were out." Ruby said as she couldn't believe what her future self would become.

"So you know whats going on?" He asked as they nodded.

"We know Cinder was crippled by Ruby, Salem has commanders everywhere, and the white fang are running wild." Blake said as Jeremiah nodded.

"Good, this is your chance then." He said as he looked towards Winter.

"You work with Ironwood right? He trusts you?" He asked as she nodded.

"Good, as soon as you get back, tell him everything you saw here, don't tell anyone but him." He said as Jaune spoke up.

"But it was his machines that went haywire." Jaune pointed out.

"By someone hacking them, Ironwood is not the enemy, he's a good man, he just made a bad decision." Winter was surprised that Jeremiah was defending Ironwood. Granted, she also believed in the General, but she couldn't imagine he was very popular with the fans after Volume 3.

"And also tell Ozpin, trust me, once you mention the fall maiden, he'll have no choice but to believe you." Pyrrha flinched a bit at the mention of the maiden.

"What about Cinder?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know, obviously you know who she is, but she won't be so easy to capture." He said as Pyrrha spoke up.

"I was keeping up with her even when she had the fall maiden's power, maybe if we take precautions to make sure she doesn't get it, she would be easier to beat." Pyrrha suggested as Jeremiah nodded.

"True, also Pyrrha, if I could say something..." Jeremiah said as he looked up to her.

"Don't make your decision based on destiny." He said as Pyrrha looked at him.

"Why?" She asked.

"Look, I don't believe in destiny, I think its just a fools gimmick used by people to justify why their life is the way it is, I don't believe God put us on this planet to live a certain life that we have no control over, if he did, there would be no concept of free will, we wouldn't actually be in control. The truth is, Life isn't some set destination, its a journey full of bumps in the road, and wonderful moments that can make you hate it, or love it. The truth is, you do have the power to change your life, it may not be the best decision, and it may not be the worst decision, but your future is a lot more volatile than you think, one move could change it for better, or for worse." He said as everyone stared at him in shock.

"D-Did you just say something philosophical?" Weiss asked as she couldn't believe it.

"You know, I do read a lot." Jeremiah said as everyone chuckled.

"Look the point is, I'm sure once you get back home and tell Ozpin all about this, they can make preparations." Jeremiah said as Ruby stood up and grabbed his arm.

"You're right." She said showing she believed him.

"Well, I need to pay back Mercury for getting me disqualified." Yang said as she cracked her knuckles.

"I would like to take Cinder down a peg or two." Jaune said as he nodded to Jeremiah, showing that there were no hard feelings.

"But I have to do this." Jaune said as he punched Jeremiah in the jaw.

"JAUNE!" Pyrrha was shocked he would do that.

"Oooooh, damn, good to see those lessons paid off." Jeremiah said as he was surprisingly fine.

"That felt good to do..." Jaune said as he held out his hand.

"No hard feelings?" He asked as Jeremiah took his hand.

"No hard feelings, I'm just glad I didn't get hit in the nut." He said as Jaune chuckled.

"We'll break her legs!" Nora said in her usual chipper tone.

"For once, I agree with Nora." Ren said as he wanted some payback.

"Anything to help my team." Blake said as she wasn't going to run away.

"I won't let my dad take me away when I could be out there fighting." Weiss said as she was not going to let herself be her father's tool.

She could do so much more as a Huntress, then she ever could as a singer at a charity ball. What was her father thinking?

"I'll relay your message to Ironwood when I get back." Winter was not going to let anyone innocent die on her watch.

"In a way, we should be thanking you." Winter said as Jeremiah looked surprised.

"How so?" He asked as he still felt like shit.

"This world gave us answers, you gave us answers, do you have any idea how long it took to get even a shred of information on our enemies?" Winter asked as he shook his head.

"No I don't." He said as she smiled.

"It took us weeks, months, sometimes even a year, and that was with some of our best spies." She said remembering Qrow, he may have been a drunk, but he was the best at what he did.

"I didn't do anything, if you're going to thank anyone, thank the guys at Roosterteeth...even though they kind of set it up." He said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"So what do we do now?" Nora asked.

"Well, you know whats going to happen. Not much we can do." He said as he sat down.

"Look, I've done all I can, I can't help you anymore." He said as Winter sat next to him.

"Either way, Remnant thanks you." She said as he grunted.

"No no no, you nine are the real heroes here, I'm just a gun toting, video game playing, beer drinking, good ol american." He said as he stood up.

"I know what we should do." Nora said as she smashed a boston creme pie in his face.

"NORA!" Pyrrha yelled.

"Hey! I needed to lift the spirits in here! We're not dead! We're alive! And we will remain that way." She said in an authoritative tone.

"Yeah, but come on, Boston creme pies are good, if you were going to smash a pie in my face, make sure its not a good one." He said as he was trying to save it.

"But it cut the tension in here!" Nora said as everyone chuckled.

"Oh that reminds me!" Ruby ran off.

"Where is she going?" Jeremiah asked.

"Oh yeah, Ruby was thankful that you gave us a place to stay, so she...made you a little present." Yang grinned as she knew what it was.

"What? Oh come on guys, you didn't need to do that, I was just doing what any decent human being would do." He said as Ruby came back with a bundle wrapped up in cloth.

"Here we go!" She said as he unwrapped it.

"Woah..." He said as he looke down at it.

It was a pitch black rifle with bits of crimson worked in. It was based on his favorite gun, the Winchester 1886 repeating rifle, he picked it up, somehow the weapon just felt right in his hand.

"This is perfect..." He said as this was better than his old one.

"Thats not it." Ruby said as she pointed to a button.

"Whats this d- WOAH!" He said as the rifle suddenly shifted into two bits.

In one hand, he held a tomahawk, and in the other, there was a bowie knife. He smiled a big megawatt smile as he saw this. Pyrrha had been training him, so he knew what to do with these at least.

"Okay that is cool!" He said as Ruby smirked again.

"There is one more feature." She said as he pushed another button.

The Tomahawk in his right hand shifted again, and his smile just grew bigger and bigger. The final form was a Colt Army revolver, except this one wasn't single action, it was a double action. Which made it even better for faster shooting. Ruby had outdone herself, he had a long range weapon, a mid range pistol, and a close range tomahawk and bowie knife. This was the greatest gift he could ask for.

"I don't know what to say, other than thank you." He said as he shifted it back into its rifle form and put it on his back.

"You're welcome! It takes regular rounds, dust rounds, and is fully functional!" She said as she really liked his weapon.

"Any idea what you're going to name it?" She asked as he quickly answered.

"Red Dawn!"He said as Winter blinked.

"That was quick..." She said as he looked towards her.

"Thats my favorite Patrick Swayze movie." He said as she facepalmed.

"You named it after a movie?" She asked as he nodded.

"Yep." He said as Ruby held it up.

"This one?" She asked as she held up the remake.

"AHHHHHHH!" He yelled as he snatched it out of her hand and shot it.

"No...Not that one...Never that one..." He said as the remake sucked.

Who in their right mind would remake a Patrick Swayze movie?

"Damn..." Yang said as she had never seen him freak out like that.

"Woah...this whole time we were all acting really down in the dumps...but now we're laughing at the fact that he just shot a DVD." Blake said as this was insane.

"DAMN IT JEREMIAH! Did you shoot my copy of red dawn again?" Pa yelled out.

"That movie sucks and you know it!" He yelled at his dad.

"Seriously? We were all depressed a second ago?" Blake was confused.

"How did this happen?" She said to herself.


	23. Christmas Movies

**Here we go again. Sorry its taking so long, I still haven't bought a new laptop, and with the holidays coming, and with the fact I can only type on our family computer. I haven't had a lot of time to write. Especially since I had a birthday not too long ago, so I was busy spending time with family, and I had finals, so I had priorities.  
**

 **Anyways, I still have to get back into writing, so this chapter was a bit...eh...I don't know, I needed filler, and since I am home for the holidays, I am completely sober while writing these, usually I'll have a Rum and Cola while writing, so it gets my creative juices flowing.**

 **But hopefully with a bit of egg nog and rum, I can get back to pumping out chapters at my usual pace.**

 **Anyways, I want to wish a Merry Christmas to all of you, and a Happy New Year.**

* * *

"So now what?" They were all sitting down in the living room.

"Well, Winter and I just got back from our date." He said as Winter looked away.

"If by date, you mean by taking me to your Grandmothers and humiliating me at the range, then yes." She said as she would never admit she had fun.

"You took her to your Grandmothers?" Nora asked.

"Yep, oh by the way, Nora my Grandmother would LOVE you." He said as he was certain Nora was the only one who could possibly eat more than his Grandmama could cook.

"Remind me to take you to her one day." He said as he was sure that would be an experience.

"You kids could help me with the Christmas decorations!" Momma yelled as she was putting up the tree.

"Ma! We know how this goes, you ask for help, then you complain about how we do it, and then redo it." Jeremiah said as she shrugged.

"Yes! And that's like an early Christmas gift for me." She said as she enjoyed bitching about her kids.

It was a weird thing. But it made her happy. Winter was currently sitting next to Jeremiah. Momma had knit her an ugly christmas sweater that matched with Jeremiahs. Both said "I'm with stupid." And had pictures of reindeer running into a building. Yeah, it made no sense to him.

"So, I assume we're going to watch a movie?" Winter asked as she noticed they were all in the living room.

"Oh yeah! It's almost time for our Classic Christmas movie!" Jeremiah suddenly got super excited and got to making snacks.

"Like what?" Nora said as she was reading off titles.

They did have something like Christmas back home, but they didn't call it Christmas. It was mostly a celebration of Peace on Earth since the last great war ended. The point is that it was all about good fun, Weiss and Winter didn't know much about it, holiday parties at the Schnees were once again usually fancy occasions with a bunch of businessmen and women standing around sipping wine talking about stocks. It was very boring, they had to admit, it would be nice to see what this family did.

"It's a wonderful life?" Yang suggested.

"Nope! I like that one, but the one we have in mind is even better!" He said as he was going through his DVD collection.

"Gremlins?" Ruby said as she found a DVD.

"Another good one, but nah, still not even close." He said as he suddenly smiled.

"FOUND IT!" He held up the DVD like a trophy.

"Die hard?" Winter said as it had a picture of a building blowing up on it.

"That doesn't sound very Christmasy..." Blake said as she had tried to read up on the holiday.

From what she could gather, it was to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, but for some reason there was imagery of a fat man in a red suit...it was really confusing. How did you go from Jesus to Santa? How did that happen?

"Well its set during Christmas time, and in my opinion, one of the best christmas movies ever, along with Die Hard 2, and of course It's a wonderful life is good, but Die hard is number one." He said as he popped it in and got a few snacks.

"What the heck are those?" Winter asked as he had a giant plate full of some strange sandwiches.

"They're kind of like mini philly cheesesteaks with hot sauce on them...here have one." He said as he held one out for Winter.

"Those don't look very...healthy." She said.

"Hey, you know the bet, come on just try it, you'll like it." He said as Winter took a bite.

"Hmm, not ba-" She was cut off as she stuck her tongue out.

"HOT!" She said as Jeremiah laughed.

"Hey look! Ice Queen is so hot right now, she's melting!" He said as he saw Winter start to sweat.

This was his own special brand of Hot sauce that his other Grandmother who lived in the bayous of Louisiana made, it was some potent stuff that would knock you on your ass.

"Water!" Winter said as she glared at Jeremiah.

"That won't do it Winny." He said as he held out a glass of milk.

"Here, Ice cold milk, it coats the tongue, and is a longer relief." He said as Winter downed the glass of milk.

"That wasn't funny!" She said as she reached for another cheesesteak.

"Wait! I thought you didn't like them?" Weiss asked.

"No, that may not have been a funny joke...but..." She said as she took a bite.

"These are really...Really addicting." She said as she felt her mouth burning again.

"They can't be that good." Weiss said as she took one.

Her eyes widened, and while she started to sweat, she couldn't help but admit, despite these leaving a burning feeling in your mouth, they were really damn good. And of course, after Weiss went back for another, that got everyone curious.

"AH IT BURNS!" Jaune was the first to have tears in his eyes, he had a very sensitive tongue.

"Hmmm, its...good." Even Pyrrha was having a hard time keeping calm.

"MMMM! MORE!" Nora was popping them like they were skittles.

"Damn it Nora, how are you completely unaffected?" Jeremiah was feeling sad that Nora was not affected by the hot sauce.

"Give it a minute." Ren said as he was taking small bites, giving his palate a rest.

"OH GOSH! OH GOSH!" In her hurry to eat more, Nora had eaten too many too fast, and now the hot sauce was starting to create a burning feeling in her mouth, her throat, all the way down to her stomach...I tried to make that sound like it wasn't a sex joke.

"Can we just watch the movie?" Ruby said as she had a bunch of cookies in her lap.

"Where did you get those?" Jeremiah asked as Momma came over.

"Why, I made this adorable little munckin as many cookies as she wanted." Momma said as she gave Ruby a hug.

"Geez Ma, its almost like you're trying to make us all fat." He said as she laughed.

"Thats because as your Grandmama says, 'You're still too skinny!" She said as she left the room.

"Hey the movie is starting!" Ruby said.

* * *

 **AN HOUR LATER  
**

"BULLSHIT!" Winter called out.

"Hey!" Jeremiah took offense to that.

"His spine would have snapped from that stunt!" Winter argued as she saw Bruce Willis survive that.

"It's a movie! And besides he is JOHN FUCKING MCCLANE! HE IS INDESTRUCTIBLE!" Jeremiah said as they were inching closer together.

"If he's indestructible why does he still receive minor injuries?!" Winter said.

"Because he has to have some struggle!" He said as Ruby was enjoying the movie.

"Wait his name is Bruce Willis? As in...Spruce Willis?" Jaune said making the connection.

"Yeah this is getting weird." Yang said as this reminded her of another movie.

"By the way Yang..." Jeremiah leaned over to her.

"How is Ruby doing? Because...you know...Volume 3 and bits of 4?" He asked as Yang whispered in his ear.

"She was distraught at first, but we got her calmed down before you got home...one thing is for sure, she's determined to not let anything bad happen, and don't even get me started on her learning about her Silver eyes power..." Yang said as that brought along two reactions.

Reaction 1 was when she was still distraught over finding out about her Mothers possible killer, and then after she had calmed down, she realized she had a power that regular huntsman didn't have. Civilians looked to Huntsman like they had superpowers, but now Ruby had an ACTUAL super power. It was actually kind of cool.

"And you?" He asked as she got serious.

Finding out about her mom, she wondered if Uncle Qrow did the right thing not telling her about her.

"I don't want to talk about it, lets just go back to watching stuff blow up." Yang said as they were at the scene where Hans had Mcclane's wife.

"Damn, he looks like a huntsman on a bad day." Blake said as he was limping towards the bad guy.

"There is no way he should be alive." Winter said as he would have lost too much blood by now.

"Like I said, he's John McClane, he is INDESTRUCTIBLE." Jeremiah said as Winter really needed to lose that 'that would never happen' in reality mood.

"Well come on, if you were put in this situation you would be dead." She said turning to Jeremiah.

"When am I ever going to be in a 'Die Hard' situation?" He said as he looked up.

That would never happen?

Right?

Right...

"BOOM! HEADSHOT!" Ruby yelled as she saw Han's Henchman get shot in the head.

"Have you been playing Battlefield again?" Jeremiah asked Ruby.

"Hey! It's much better than Call of Duty!" She argued.

"No argument there..." He said as there were annoying little kids on Call of duty.

Funny story, one time back when he used to play it, there was a little kid dicking around, and he kept getting shot. When the kid yelled that he was going to tell his mom on a bunch of people on the internet he had never met, he was met with ridicule. It only got better when said kid ACTUALLY did tell his mom, and the mother didn't know he was playing Call of duty, and Jeremiah and his fellow gamers got to listen to the six year old get an ass whooping.

They shouldn't have laughed...but it was funny. **(1)**

"If he survives this fall, I am calling you out on this." Winter said as she saw Hans Gruber falling of of Nakatomi.

"Ah...it finally feels like Christmas." Jeremiah said as one thing was for sure.

It didn't feel like Christmas until Hans fell from Nakatomi.

"Oh so he dies? I was expecting him to miracously survive!" Winter had to admit the movie was entertaining...but it was unrealistic.

"Whats going to happen next? A villian comes back to life?" She says as she was watching the TV.

Only to facepalm as she saw Karl come back to life.

"HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?" Ruby said as they saw him hanging by his neck.

For minutes...not moving...Was he THAT good at playing dead?

"YEAH! GO AL!" Nora said as Al was her favorite character in the whole movie.

Not just because he appreciated good snack foods, but also because he was a great motivator. Seriously that character could turn you from a helpless bum to a motivated working machine in one viewing. And he had a tragic backstory, he was everything Nora loved in a character.

The movie ended, and after Winter had calmed down from the last minute surprise, she admitted that she did like the film, but there was no way that would happen in real life. Ruby and Nora wanted to watch it again, but Weiss requested a christmas movie that was more appropriate and heartwarming.

"How about 'It's a wonderful life?" Jeremiah said as Weiss and Winter nodded.

"That sounds peaceful." Weiss said as he sat back down with Winter.

"WOOF!" Zeus sat on top of the couch pushing Jeremiah to be closer to Winter, so it was more like they were snuggling together.

"Is...your dog trying to make us sit closer together." Winter said as her head was now on Jeremiah's shoulder.

"Nah, Zeus is the same dog who I saw bite his own nuts on accident...and not just once." He said as the dog almost seemed to chuckle

 _"Mock me if you want my good friend! But I am smarter than you will ever know! But I will admit...it was stupid of me to bite down on my own genitals, in my defense, I accidentally ate that bag of weed your friend had, and I regretfully admit that I was not in my right mind."_ Zeus though to himself. **(2)**

* * *

 **(1) Yes this story is actually true.  
**

 **(2) The dog wasn't high, but he has accidentally done that multiple times.**


	24. Christmas and Nora V Grandmama

**Okay everyone, good news, I found some time to write. Anyways, I also passed all my classes, so with all going as planned, my last semester of college is here. I am already in talks with an US Army recruiter, so that might keep me busy, but I promise I will try and find time to write.**

 **Anyways, this chapter is coming out a little late since Christmas has passed, but here we go. This chapter was a little weird, I don't know, mostly because it was hard to think of humor, so this is pretty much just filler.**

 **Some more good news, The Endless possibilities Reboot is coming soon, due to my laptop finally being repaired.**

* * *

"Buon Natale Nonna!" Jeremiah said as he greeted his Grandmother who had come over for Christmas lunch.

"Buon Natale! Now where is this girl you wanted me to meet?" Grandmama said as Nora walked forward.

"Me?" She said as Grandmama took a look at her.

"Dio Mio! You're too skinny!" She said as she poked Nora.

"Nonna, everyone is skinny to you!" Jeremiah said as she locked eyes on Winter.

"Ah The Snow Queen, Dio mio! You need some food too!" She then proceeded to grab Nora's arm.

"Come Orange one! I need a taste tester!" She said as Nora was all too happy to go with her.

"So, who wants to take bets? Will Grandmama overfeed Nora? Or will Nora out eat Grandmama?" Jeremiah said as Ren had his money on Nora.

Considering that they had seen Nora eat her bodyweight in food before, they figured it was a sure bet, after all, Aura did result in a better metabolism, so they were certain whatever Grandmama could dish out, Nora could take it and eat some more. So they were all betting on Nora to win. Jeremiah, Winter, Pyrrha, and of course Jaune were betting against Nora. Jaune remembered how much that woman could cook, and how he thought his stomach was going to explode from all the food, there was no doubt that Nora had a large appetite, but he had seen this woman bring out food...

And more food...and more food...AND MORE FOOD. It never stopped, it just kept growing and growing, it was delicious, but it was torture. You wanted to take another bite, but your stomach refused to do it. Your eyes demanding that you feed yourself with various delicious foods and treats, but your stomach begging you not to like you're a hostage. And the worst part was, there was nothing you could do to stop it. Because once you hear the horrible phrase...you had to continue.

 _"Whatsa the matta, you no like Nonna's cooking?"_ The cursed words that would bring many a great man to his knees.

"THIS IS GREAT!" Nora said as you could hear her munching down on various foods.

"Go on! Eat! Eat!" Grandmama said as she was shoveling food onto Nora's plate.

"Could I have some more pasta please?" She asked as Grandmama smiled.

"Of course my little orange one! But you may have to wait a bit, I need time to make the sauce and noodles from scratch!" She said as she was preparing that dish.

"Why not just use jar-" Jaune's mouth was covered by Jeremiah.

"What was that deary?" Grandmama asked Jaune.

"Oh uh, he was just asking you if you needed any help?" Jeremiah said as he knew what Jaune was really going to say.

"Oh how sweet of you dear, but no! I am determined to fatten this one up if it kills me!" Grandmama said as she prepared to make the sauce out of freshly grown tomatoes.

"Why did you stop me?" Jaune asked quietly.

"YOU were about to tell my grandmother to use store bought JAR sauce...if there is one thing you can do to piss her off, it is suggesting that she should use that when she could be making her own!" Jeremiah said as an ex girlfriend of his had once suggested that.

She ended up breaking up with him because she couldn't handle his crazy Nonna.

"Okay, so thats taboo?" Jaune asked as Jeremiah nodded.

"Oh yeah, never say bagged or canned sauce around Grandmama, she will stab you." Jeremiah said as his grandmother was a master with knives.

"Dio mio Child! You certainly lasted longer than your blond friend!" Grandmama said as Nora was happily munching away.

"MHMM!" Nora was just happy as hell.

"How long do you think this will last?" Winter asked Jeremiah.

"Maybe about thirty minutes." He said as he was confident his Grandmama could take her.

* * *

 **TWO HOURS LATER**

"It makes me so happy you like my cooking!" Grandmama said as Nora was still going strong.

"Damn, she can really put it away." Jeremiah said as he was both disgusted and impressed.

"How is she doing that? I could barely last an hour, and at one point she even had to feed me!" Winter said as she had never seen a human being eat this much.

"Never underestimate how much Nora can eat." Ren said as this was the same girl who held records in different pancake restaurants around Remnant.

Jeremiah stood up and clapped his hands.

"Well, while they're doing that, would you guys like to exchange gifts?" Jeremiah asked as they all looked around.

"But we didn't get anyone anything." Ruby said feeling a little bad.

"Its okay, you don't have any money, that and Ruby...remember?" Jeremiah asked pointing to his modified Winchester.

"Oh...Oh yeah!" She said remembering she did give a gift to Jeremiah.

"Anyways, lets sit down." He said as they all sat by the fireplace where a roaring fire was going.

"Okay, Weiss this is yours." He said giving her a large package.

She unwrapped it only to reveal an old record player, along with some classical music vinyl records.

"I remember you talking about how you liked my Mozart CDs, and I figured these would be a good gift." Jeremiah said as Weiss gave a small smile.

"Thank you." Weiss said as she had to admit, it was a nice gesture.

"Ruby, you were probably the easiest." He said as he handled Ruby another package.

"Ooooooohhhh." She said as she unwrapped it.

Only to reveal multiple Guns and Ammo Magazines, multiple books on ancient weaponry ranging from the middle east to Europe, as well as multiple books on sword crafting and the history of martial arts ranging from Viking Glima to Shaolin Kung fu.

"This is so cool!" She said as the only other thing she loved more than making new weapons, was reading and learning about new weapons.

"Always the weapons geek Sis." Yang said as she was handed a package.

She received boxed sets of DVDS containing fights in boxing ranging from Muhammad Ali to James Braddock, to MMA with fights ranging from GSP to Royce gracie. Jeremiah honestly didn't know what to get her, so he figured that would be good.

"Since I heard a rumor your fighting style was based on Jack Dempsey, this seemed like a good gift." He said as Yang nodded.

"Hmm, maybe I can learn a few new tricks." She said wondering who Muhammad Ali was.

"Okay Ren." He said as Ren unwrapped his.

Only to find a few dvds and books on Chinese culture.

"Yeah, I'll be honest, I figured that would be a good gift, since you seemed to have an interest in learning about what would be your home culture in my world." He said as Ren nodded.

"Fair enough." He said as he cracked open one of the books on Chinese Kung fu.

"Uh Blake..." He handed her a wrapped box.

"This is so you stop using my kindle for your strange books." He whispered as she nodded and decided not to open the box.

"Okay, Pyrrha." Her gift was similar to Rens, only her books and dvds were on Greek culture, specifically Spartan culture.

She also received a pendant with a spartan shield symbol.

"And Winter..." He said as he had to put a lot of thought into her gift.

She opened it up to reveal a plain white shirt.

"Well uhm...its nice." She said as Jeremiah chuckled.

"Turn it around." He said as she did just that.

Only for her to repress a chuckle.

"I-Is that me, beating up Qrow?" She asked as Ruby took a peak.

"Hey! Why are you beating up my uncle?!" Ruby said as she saw two chibi figures of Winter and Qrow, where Winter had a mallet and was crushing him with it.

"I remember you talking about how you disliked his perverted personality, and about your unpleasant interactions with him, so I figured that would make sense." Jeremiah said as Winter had to admit, it was a cute gift.

"Y-You were listening?" She asked surprised that he was paying attention.

"Yeah, why not?" He asked as Winter had to admit, it was kind of touching.

"Well, I suppose I can wear this, after all, I haven't had to use my uniform in a while." She said as she now needed more casual clothes.

"Wait, how did you get my size?" She asked as he sighed.

"My mom does the laundy in this house." He said as he suddenly blushed.

"Why are you blushing?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Uh, she may have told me...certain other measurements." He said as she narrowed her eyes and flicked his forehead.

"Ow!" He said as she chuckled.

"You're an idiot." She said with a bit of a smile.

"Although you better not be thinking anything impure." She said motioning to the dagger on her hip.

"NO! NO MAAM! No impure thoughts here!" He said as he was so pure, that he was still a virgin.

Probably because his Momma had made sure that he had the 'No ding ding before the wedding ring.' attitude. And was possibly the biggest cock block on the face of the planet. Geez, if he was a woman, his mom would have probably sent him to a convent to be a nun.

"Have you noticed that for some reason, they met because Winter threatend to castrate him." Ruby said to her sister.

"I think it's even weirder that they are bonding..." Yang said as she saw him pull something out.

"Also this is for Jaune..." He said as he handed a stack of comic books to Jaune.

"I got you everything from Captain America to Justice League, you should be fine." He said as Jaune already started to read.

"And Nora..." He said as his eyes widened.

"Whats wrong?" Winter said as he pointed.

"She's still going..." He said as Grandmama was cooking even more.

"Keep it coming nonna!" Nora said as she was still eating.

"Con piacere Nora!" Grandmama just finished preparing another full course meal.

"Wow...your grandmother must really love Nora." Weiss said as she had never seen an old lady that happy before.

"She loves anyone who can keep up with her." He said as they all went over to watch.

* * *

 **Another HOUR LATER**

"I don't freaking believe it..." Ren said.

"I don't freaking believe it..." Jeremiah said.

"I can't believe its not butter!" Ruby said as she read the container.

"Both of them...they both finished at the same time." Weiss said as she looked at the two.

Nora had run out of room in her stomach, at the exact time that Grandmama had run out of energy to cook food. Jeremiah had never before seen that happen before in his life, and this was the woman who cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him and his extended family, and still had energy to make dessert, but here she was, tired because of just one orange haired girl.

"Dio Mio child! How do your parents keep up with you." Nonna said as Nora looked a little sad.

"I...I..." Nora didn't know what to say.

"Nora and I are orphans." Ren said as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh..." Grandmama placed a hand on Noras.

"Would you...like to come with me?" She said as Nora looked up.

"W-What do you mean?" She asked unsure of what the woman was asking.

"Well, its rare I find someone who loves my cooking that much, and you seem like a sweet girl, would you like to come with me on my trip back to Rome?" She said as she made the trip back to Italy every year.

"T-That sound great, but why?" Nora asked.

"Well, any friend of Jeremiah's is family to me. What do you say?" Grandmama said as Nora's eyes widened.

"F-Family?" She said as she didn't have one...not for a long time.

"So how about it?" Grandmama said.

"Y-Yes! I would love to come with!" Nora said beaming as she gave the elderly woman a hug.

Grandmama merely smiled as she hugged the small orange haired girl. She may not have realized it, but she had given Nora the best possible gift she could have asked for, the feeling of having a family. Granted, she did feel that way with her friends, but here was a woman who had just come out of nowhere, and asked her to come with her on a trip, all because she enjoyed her cooking.

Granted, Grandmama probably would adopt every orphan in the world if she could, she was kind hearted like that.

It was strange, but welcoming.

"Nonna! But you leave tomorrow?" Jeremiah said as she nodded.

"I have a friend at the airport, he can give me two more tickets." She said as Nora looked confused.

"Two?" She asked.

"Of course! For you and your boyfriend!" She said as Nora blushed as she knew Nonna was talking about Ren.

"Uh, we're just friends! Not together, together!" She said as Jeremiah sighed.

In truth, while Nora and Ren had shared some rather intimate moments, they had not exactly come out and said they were together, and thats when it clicked.

His Grandmama was playing Matchmaker again...

And even worse...Ren and Nora would go to Rome...for a whole week...without him to supervise them...

OH SHIT.


	25. Bonding On The Way To Rome

**Okay, here we go. Okay, so here is another chapter, like I said, my laptop is now repaired, So I should be able to get back to my usual pace, at least until School starts back up again.**

 **Also, the reboot of Endless Possibilities is up, some people like it, some people don't. But meh, it happens. I just needed to get a chapter of that out of the way so I could focus on this.**

 **Anyways, so this is pretty much an exposition chapter that I felt needed to get in there, so I can try and have Winter and Jeremiah start to connect a little more.**

 **Also a very special treat for a reviewer at the end.**

* * *

"You should stop worrying." Winter said to Jeremiah.

"Considering we are all going to Rome, I'm a little nervous." He said as this was nerve racking.

As it turns out, his college had officially closed down classes after someone had complained that there wasn't a safe space, so the school had shut down while they created one, which screwed Jeremiah over, because they shut it down for next semester as he had already signed up for his classes, and the damn college was refusing to give him a refund because providing a space free from bullshit micro aggressions was more important than his education. So he was pissed. But he was happier because he was now on a trip to Rome with his Grandmama.

Course he was worried about Nora accidentally starting the gladiator games back up, but he figured he had nothing to worry about.

Still though, thank god he would be there to supervise Nora...for the most part.

Unforturnately, his Grandmama booked Ren and Nora in a different area of the hotel they would be staying at, in the 'Honeymoon suite.' It was quite odd.

"Can you tell me anything about Rome?" Winter asked.

"Well, the short version is it is an ancient city, and was once the pinnacle of technological and scientific achievements, is a beautiful city, but never did I think I was going to go there, Grandmama usually goes alone. And I was shocked when she invited us to come along with." He said as Grandmama had never invited him to go to Rome with her.

And yet, here she had PERSONALLY paid for not only him, but also Team RWBY and JNPR, and Winter to come with her. He knew his Grandmama was rich, but that was ridiculous.

Course...she never told anyone the reason why she was rich was because she had once been an associate of Alphonse Capone, but nobody needed to know that.

"I saw some photos, it looks like a beautiful city." She said as she had to admit, she was looking foward to this trip.

"Yeah, I bet its nothing compared to you." He said as he suddenly shut his mouth.

"What did you say?" She was honestly surprised that he said that.

"Okay, this is awkward, I meant to say, I bet those photos are nothing compared to the real thing, but...dang, that just slipped out." He said as she smirked.

"Well, I would never turn down a compliment, but you may want to learn to think before you speak." She said as she had to admit, that was actually quite flattering.

"I can't think about it when I feel a certain way." He said as once again, that just popped out.

"Okay, you totally did that one on purpose." She said with a slight smirk.

"Okay, I swear to god I am not trying to flirt, this just keeps popping out." He said as he had no idea why this was happening all of a sudden.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, your flirting skills could use some work." She said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah I know." He said as he looked away awkwardly.

"But, I do thank you for the compliments, its actually...refreshing." She said as Jeremiah looked surprised.

"Haven't you ever been told you're beautiful before?" He asked as she looked stoic.

"I...I believe as my father and brother put it, "There is always room for improvement." She said as she narrowed her eyes.

"Permission to speak freely?" He said as she nodded.

"Granted." She said reverting back to her formal military tone.

"Your father is an asshole." He said as she looked at him.

"Is it that obvious?" The man may have been her father, but it was true, he was an asshole.

This was the man who practically expelled her from her inheritance because she wanted to join the military, and a man who had pretty much cut off contact with her over her decision, yet in some strange way, she felt compelled to earn his approval by rising in the ranks of teh Atlesian Army. But what was the point? The man may have cared too much about his reputation. Even if he had great respect for General Ironwood, he tended to treat the military as lesser people due to his social standing...a social standing he didn't even earn.

"Let me ask you something, based on the latest episode of RWBY, you saw how he treated Weiss right?" He asked as Winter narrowed her eyes at the memory.

When she saw Weiss get slapped, she admitted, she felt the urge to deal as much pain as she could to her father, but she tried to reel her emotions back into place, after all, it didn't happen yet, and if it was up to her, it would never happen on her watch. Add that onto the fact that he was now keeping Weiss as a prisoner, it just made her blood boil.

"And he wasn't originally a Schnee? He married into the name?" He asked as she nodded.

"So here he has endless resources at his disposal, but if he didn't marry into the Schnee, would he still be as successful as he is today?" Jeremiah asked as Winter had to stop and think.

The truth was, while her father had indeed helped the Schnee company grow, it was very unlikely he would have been able to do that, if he didn't marry her mother. Without the resources of the Schnee, he most likely wouldn't be as successful as he was now.

"Its hard to tell." She said as honestly as she said.

"I find it funny that the man who says that your beauty could use improvement is the same man who should take his own advice." He said as Winter looked at him.

"How so?" She asked despite knowing the answer.

"Well, in all honesty, he seems like an egotistical Jackass, no offense, he seems to only care about money and his reputation, based on what I have seen so far, when Weiss yelled at that guest because she had no idea what was going on in the real world, and she was insulting Vale, the only thing your father cared about was how that outburst would affect his reputation and his social standing, he didn't care that his daughter had seen horrors no man should see, he didn't care that she wanted to go back and help, and he certainly didn't give a damn when Ironwood voiced his opinion, face it, your father could use an attitude adjustment." He said as Winter just listened to him.

"As much as I want to agree with you, what exactly do you know about these affairs?" She asked as Jeremiah went quiet.

"Thats a long story." He said as she crossed her legs.

"Well, we have hours til our plane lands." She said as Jeremiah sighed.

"Well, to be honest, my family wasn't as well off as we were now." He said as he started his tale.

"There was a time in my life I can remember when we didn't have the house that we did now, my dad worked three jobs, mom was at home taking care of my siblings and I, and there were times when we didn't get everything we wanted, mostly because we knew we couldn't afford it." He started off by saying the basics.

"When we were growing up, we were taught at a young age, that the world doesn't owe anything to you, you can spend your time crying and complaining about how you don't have everything you want, or how the world doesn't fit to your standards, but in reality, that is not the way to go. By the time I was five, I was helping my family on the farm, I knew with my dad working so often, he didn't have enough time to do his chores at home, and when he did come back home, he was fast asleep on the couch from an exhausting day." He continued as Winter was listening intently.

"Of course, I tried hard in school, but as mom will tell you, I got beat up a lot, mostly because I used to have a really bad temper, sure some kids didn't like me because I was a bit of a geek, but unfortunately, I also had a nasty habit of getting pissed off and picking a fight with the older tougher kids. It wasn't until I came home with a broken nose that my dad sat me down and gave me a lecture about how I needed to change my attitude, and let me tell you, unlike your dad...my father was actually right." He said as he thought back.

"You know, I could deal with being spanked, or the occassional ass whooping, but the last thing I wanted to happen was hear my dad say he was disappointed in me, that was an awful feeling, it got even worse when I realized that he was right, I was causing trouble at school, and even though I did help on the farm, I wasn't nearly doing as much as I could. Add that into the fact my grades were not the best, I was in desperate need of an attitude adjustment." Jeremiah continued on as Winter could sort of understand him.

"Anyways, I still did get beat up at school, but I didn't go looking for fights this time, I studied harder and improved my grades, I still wasn't the best student, but at least now I was actually doing fairly well." He said as Winter cut him off.

"Forgive me, but it seems like your story is going over how I should listen to my father, how is this supposed to help?" She asked slightly confused.

"Let me finish, the point is, at this point, my father was right, my attitude was a mess, I was a pain in the ass at school, and I was lazing about at home, in this situation, I did need an attitude adjustment. You on the other hand." He said as he looked at her.

"Your beauty doesn't need improvement, you look fantastic just as you are, and you broke away from a man who simply wanted you to be the heirress to his company, but you branched out and went your own way, and thats fantastic. My father may have been right in his assumptions about me, but your father was definitely wrong, and even if my dad did point out flaws in my attitude, he was always quick to help, even if it meant staying up a little later to help me improve my grades and my attitude." He said as he smiled.

"Eventually, Dad got a better job that he didn't need to work three jobs anymore, we ended up selling our steers for a great price, and we built the house you know today, and sure, while self improvement is a good thing, and I believe we should all strive for it, in your case, your looks don't need improvement, mostly because it seems like you're perfect just the way you are." He said with a smile.

Winter had to admit, while that was one of the cheesiest, and dorkiest things she had ever heard. It was refreshing to hear. Her whole life, she and her sister had been told that they were not good enough, not beautiful enough, or not smart enough, and that whatever happened, they were never good enough to be the inheritor to the Schnee fortune. That they must constantly seek to change themselves for the future of the business. Even if they were as smart as they could be, it was never enough. But here was a man who was telling her that she was fine just the way she was, and she had to admit, it was nice to hear.

"Besides, look at you now, you're a great fighter, a specialist in the army, sure while you did seem to have a bit of a temper problem, overall, you've done well with your life." He said, even though Winter gave him a look at the 'temper' remark.

"You know...I misjudged you, I thought you were just a dumb redneck who only cared about drinking and shooting." She said as he chuckled.

"Oh don't get me wrong, I like drinking and I looking shooting shit, but I TRY to be more than that." He said as he was constantly trying to better himself, mostly because he knew he had more potential, and he wanted to reach that.

"Still though, I have a hard time imagining you with a temper problem as a kid." She said because he seemed pretty laid back.

"Oh I still do, its just now I am better at dealing with it...whether through exercise or alcohol." He said as she looked at him.

"You know, you really shouldn't drink so much." She said as he sighed.

"I know...I know, but hey, I could be smoking crack." He said as she nodded.

"Either way, on this trip, at least try to limit your drinking." She said as he sighed again.

"Fine...but if we go to a vineyard or fancy restaurant, I think Wine is perfectly acceptable." He said joking along.

"Fair enough, just try not to get too drunk." She said as she would be happy with that.

"Oh and one more thing..." She said as he listened to her, wondering what she could say.

"You suck at comforting people." He said as he had to admit, he was expecting something nicer.

"BUT, you did make me feel better, and for that, you have my thanks." She said as he smiled a bit.

"You just couldn't come right out and say that could you?" He said being sarcastic.

"Old habits die hard." She said as she laid back in her sleep.

"Ugh, this seat is annoying." She said as she was used to flying first class.

"Welcome to Coach, just wait til the serving lady comes by." He said as he saw the stewardess come by.

"Your meals Sir." He said as she gave them some plastic covered lunch trays, and a plastic cup of water.

"What is this?" She said as she pointed to the freeze fried food.

"Basically what passes for food on these flights." He said as he begrudgingly took a bite.

Winter followed his example and took a bite out of the chicken, only to find it extremely hard to chew.

"It feels like rubber..." She said as she was having a difficult time chewing.

"You think thats bad, I can't even bite into mine, its like a brick." He said as he demonstrated by showing how hard it was to cut into it.

"I have done multiple training exercises that involved me to live off the land, and yet this food is somehow worse..." She said as she was trying to chew.

"I remember the time I tried fried scorpions, and that was pretty good, who would have thought in flight meals would be worse." He said as he tried Fried Scorpions when he visited New Mexico.

"By the way, what sort of plans does your mother have for us in Italy?" Winter asked.

"Besides getting Ren and Nora together, I don't know..." He said as he laid back to rest his head.

Meanwhile he didn't realize his Grandmama was talking with both Team RWBY and JNPR, on how to make Winter and Jeremiah even closer. Grandmama sensed that their relationship was not as far along as they made you believe, so she was determined to give her grandson a helping hand. And considering what happened with his LAST girlfriend, of which her name put a bad taste in her mouth. She knew her Grandson needed help with the ladies.

Lord knows he could use it.

"So, you rented them a room together, and you also got the manager of the hotel to act like there were no single bedrooms available, so they would have to share a room and bed...how did you manage that?" Pyrrha asked as Weiss was grumbling in the background.

She didn't like the fact that she was an accessory to help Winter and Jeremiah ACTUALLY start dating. She just didn't think that was a good match.

"Oh that's simple, I own the hotel." Grandmama smirked as everyone else looked shocked.

"Wait...what?" Weiss said since this was the same woman who lived in a small house back in the states.

"What? Just because I live simply doesn't mean I'm not rich." The two teams couldn't believe it.

His Grandmama certainly was an odd person.

* * *

 **BACK HOME**

The house was empty, Ma and Pa were getting ready to go on vacation, after all, no kids around the house, and they were ready to just kick back and relax. Zeus was coming with of course, they didn't trust house sitters.

"Man, nothing could go wrong now." Pa said as they suddenly heard a noise.

"OW! DAMN IT!" They heard a mans voice.

"Oh no." He said as he grabbed a wooden baseball bat, Ma on the other hand took a lumberjack axe.

"Where the hell are-" The voice was about to say.

"TAKE THIS YOU BURGLAR BASTARDS!" Pa said as he swung the baseball bat.

And connected right with a orange hair girly looking man's face.

"OW!" The man yelled as Pa went for another swing.

"I"M GONNA BEAT YOU LIKE A REDHEADED STEPCHILD!" He said as he started swinging more and more.

"OW! YOU CRAZY DICK! OW! STOP!" Roman said as he was pretty sure his nose was broken.

"Dale...its...its..." Momma she dropped the axe as she ran over to pick something up.

"ITS SO CUTE!" She said as she picked up and hugged a little girl.

Only for the multi haired little girl to get pissed off and try to get out of Momma's death grip.

"Oh what is a cute little girl doing with a ruffian such as this?" Momma said as Neo was struggling to get out and breath.

Unforturnately, they had gotten caught in a dust explosion at a warehouse they were attempting to rob, and needless to say, they lost their weapons. So Neo didn't have her parasol, and Torchwick didn't have his cane. And Neo was focusing more on how she could breath rather than trying to escape.

"Damn, this guy is still breathing." Pa said as he tied him up.

"Well either way, we have to find out what to do with these two." He said as Momma held Neo out.

"Can I keep her?" Momma was holding a very angry Neo like a pissed off cat.

"I don't know, this guy may have kidnapped her, we should find her mommy and daddy." He said as Neo was raging and shaking her arms.

 _"I'm older than I look you assholes!"_ Neo was not having a good time.


	26. When In Rome

**So here we go again. I am trying to get as many chapters written, before school starts up again, and because I already have plans for the sequel. Anyways, one problem I am having with this story is trying to make my character as close to me as possible, after all this is technically a self insert, but I have altered a lot of details such as the name, and my drinking, I don't ACTUALLY drink as much as my SI/OC, otherwise I would be dead by now.**

 **That and I don't want to make him a Mary Sue, which is why I am trying to incorporate my own flaws into Jeremiah.**

 **Basically I have to make it so I'm still believable as a human being, while also making the character entertaining, but not a white knight, make him interesting, but not boring people with details.**

 **Anyways, here we go.**

* * *

"Woooooowww." Ruby said as they gazed upon the city.

"Welcome to Rome." Grandmama said as they all looked upon the ancient city.

Remnant had its fair share of ancient ruins, but most of them were overrun by Grimm, so they were very hard to explore and see for yourself, but here was a world that was not overcome with Grimm, and they could see for themselves the beauty of the ancient world. And it was a sight to behold, so many structures that had been around since the time of the roman empire, all of it was preserved in order to make sure that the history of the romans would never be forgotten. How could people with nothing but hand tools build all of this? They must have been ambitious, especially when they looked upon the magnificent structures that lay before them.

"It's beautiful..." Winter said as she had never seen anything like it.

"The world is full of many magnificent sites." Jeremiah said as he had seen some fantastic things.

He remembered the time he traveled to Alaska, his favorite state. While he loved Texas, the absolute beauty of Alaska's wilderness trumped a lot of the sites in Texas. And now here he was in Rome, and he had to admit, the ancient city was a site to behold. You could read all about it, and look up pictures on the internet, and think you know all about it, but nothing could compare to seeing it in person. It was definitely something you wanted to see at least once in your lifetime.

"Where to first?" Nora asked as she had to admit, she was stunned as well.

"Well, first we have lunch, I know a fantastic restaurant close by, then I suppose we could tour the many museums and landmarks in the city, and of course, I have signed us all up for various activities, especially for you six." She said pointing to Winter, Jeremiah, Pyrrha, Jaune, Ren, and Nora.

"What do you mean?" Nora asked.

"Why dancing classes of course!" She said as Jeremiah froze up.

"Oh crap..." He said as Winter heard that.

"Why oh crap?" She asked wondering why he seemed worried.

"I...can't dance." He said as she raised an eyebrow.

"I would assume that is what classes are for." She said as he shook his head.

"Okay, I really am not the dancing type." He said as he only danced when he drank.

And frankly, no amount of alcohol could make up for the fact that there was a reason his friends referred to him as 'White as hell.'

"Oh relax Jerry, its nothing like breakdancing, its simple ballroom dancing." He said as it was now Nora's turn to be worried.

Jaune and Pyrrha were relaxed since they had already danced together before. Jaune had tried giving Jeremiah dancing lessons, but even then, he still needed a lot of work, and Jaune had not taught him ballroom dancing, just enough that he wouldn't look like an idiot at bars. And even then, he still wasn't that graceful.

"Come now, let us go and eat." Grandmama said as Nora looked over.

"I'm surprised, she actually goes to restaurants?" Nora always thought she was the 'Cook your own meals all day everyday type.'

"Only when back home in Italy, in her words 'The motherland knows how to do it right.'" Jeremiah said quoting his Grandmother.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE BACK HOME**

"What the hell is wrong with these people?!" Roman said as he managed to escape from his chair. All while resisting the urge to laugh at Neo.

Apparently the lady who lived here was trying to spoil Neo because she was so cute. So Neo was now in a chair, with a bib attached to her with different types of food in front of her, while the lady was shoveling food into Neo's mouth. Neo wanted to get out and help Roman escape. Unforturnately, the crazy lady had homemade Neapolitan Ice cream, one of Neo's favorite foods, so of course she couldn't resist that. Needless to say, the fact that she hadn't moved from her seat, and the fact that she now looked like a little kid with ice cream smeared on her face, did not tie into the whole 'Evil villian' job at the moment.

"Okay, Neo, I'll try and find out where we-" Torchwick was cut off as he saw the crazy old guy from before.

"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!" He said as he pulled a lever.

"Wait, where did that lever come FRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!" Torchwich yelled as he fell through a hole in the floor.

 _"What the?! These people booby trapped their house?! What kind of nut house did we...oh my god, is that pie?"_ Neo thought as the old lady came by with a fresh baked pie.

"AH IT BURNS!" Roman yelled out as the crazy old guy face palmed.

"Damn it, he fell into the vat of moonshine...oh well, that shit will keep him tranquilized for a week." Pa proceeded to run down to the basement to beat the piss out of the orange hair girly man.

" _Seriously, I should really be help-"_ Neo's thoughts were cut off by a piece of freshly baked apple pie being put in front of her.

"Now now, eat up, or you'll never grow big and strong!" Momma said in a child like voice.

 _"I swear to god, if you weren't feeding me, I would stab you."_ Neo glared as she took a bite out of the apple pie.

 _"But this is good food, BUT I AM NOT A CHILD!"_ Neo honestly hated being as short as she was.

She still couldn't ride Roller coasters without Roman being there to supervise her and be her Parent on those rides. It pissed her off to no end. And don't even get her started on the one time that bus driver wondered why she wasn't getting on the bus to go to elementary school. Seriously? She may be short, but she still looked older than twelve!

"Here comes the Choo Choo Train!" Momma said as she had a fork with a bit of pie.

 _"YOU DEVIL WOMAN! I will end you!...Eventually!"_ Neo took another bite.

As much as she hated being treated like a child, this food was really delicious.

"I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU HARDER THAN MORNING WOOD!" She heard the sounds of a ass whooping coming from the basement.

Apparently Roman was still trying to escape, but the crazy old guy would not let him. She shook her head, this was not going well for any of them.

"Oh? Do you mean you're done eating?" Momma took her shaking her head as a sign that she was full.

 _"No! Bring that pie back!"_ Neo made motions with her arms to bring the pie back.

"Awww, you're so adorable." Momma said as she pinched Neo's cheeks.

 _"I'm a former Huntress, I have a powerful Aura, I have a powerful Semblance, I am a deadly killer, I am wanted in different kingdoms, and this lady has the gall to call me adorable?!"_ Neo had never been so insulted in her life.

How could this possibly get any worse?

"Oh! I sewed a dress that would look just beautiful on you!" Momma said as she held out a puffy dress.

 _"...It just got worse."_ Roman must never hear of this.

So that was how life went, Neo was being fed like a baby with a bib in a high chair. And Roman was currently getting his ass kicked by a crazy old guy with a penchant for shotguns. Seriously? How could an international criminal be getting his ass kicked by a regular civilian? What kind of man was he?

"General! I just got another Korean!" The man from the basement yelled.

"Oh no...Dale is having flashbacks again. I don't see why he thinks the orange haired girly man is a korean though. He seems to dress like a Brit." Momma said as she shook her head.

One thing was for sure, Roman was fucked.

* * *

 **Back in Rome**

"Whats with you?" Winter asked as Jeremiah was staring off into the distance.

"Nothing, I just feel like we're missing something funny." He had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that something was happening back home.

Eh, what could it be? What could be so amazing that he got a tingly feeling in the back of his neck? He shook his head, it was probably nothing, besides he would find out in a week's time. He went back to eating some kind of italian beef sandwich, he didn't know what was in it, but it was good.

"Ohmygosh! These are some of the best cookies ever!" Ruby said as she had already finished her meal and was munching on her dessert.

As it turns out, they were freshly baked, and the cookie dough just had a delightful crumble to it, while the chocolate chips in them just melted right in your mouth, and that wasn't even including all the other ingredients that Ruby couldn't point out, all she knew was that this was a delicious cookie. And she was happy that Grandmama had brought them all along.

"This sea bass and shrimp is pretty good too." Blake said as she was enjoying her stew.

"Why is that guy dressed like that?" Nora asked as she saw a man dressed up in armor.

"Oh, they must be doing a gladiator reenaction, considering he's dressed like a Centurion." Grandmama said as he walked off.

"You mean, we could-" Nora was cut off by Jeremiah.

"Nora, remember the time you beat up all the LARP kids?" He said as she looked up and smiled.

"Yeah but what does that have to do with this?" She asked.

"I know that look, you want to be a part of the reenactment, so the answer is No, besides, wouldn't you rather go with Ren to one of the local bakeries?" He asked as he leaned in to whisper into Nora's ear.

"They have a cake there that will kick the hell out of any pancakes you have EVER had." He said as Nora got a huge smile.

"Oooooooh, Ren can we go?!" Nora stood up as Ren finished his meal.

"I suppose we cou-" He was soon dragged off by Nora.

"YAAAAYYYY!" She said as she was determined to find this place.

"..." The table was silent.

"Shouldn't you have told them where the bakery was?" Winter asked.

"Nah, I'm sure they will have a fun time sampling all the different bakeries." Jeremiah said as he was certain nothing would go wrong.

"Are you sure about that?" Weiss asked as she doubted his perception.

"Think about it, before we flew here, we saw Nora sit still for HOURS enjoying Grandmama's food, she is going to multiple bakeries where she will have to sit still and try EVERYTHING that comes out of there." Okay, Weiss had to admit, that did make sense.

"But there is no way she can afford all of the food she is going to eat!" Weiss was trying to make a point here.

"Oh don't worry my sweet ice child!" Grandmama said as Weiss grumbled at the nickname.

"I gave her 1000 euros to spend!" Jeremiah did a spit take.

"A thousand euros?!" He knew his Grandmother was rich, but come on, that was quite a bit of pocket change.

"What? I can't spoiled my adopted granddaughter?" Suddenly Jeremiah knew what was going on.

"Oh yeah, I forget, if my Grandma likes you enough, you become an adopted Granddaughter." He says as Winter looked at him.

"You mean to tell me this has happened before?" She found that hard to believe.

"Too many times to count, but its a wonderful thing." Suddenly Winter felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Now go on you two! Enjoy your time in Rome! I will take the others on a tour!" Grandmama said as she was leaving with the two teams.

"Wait! By ourselves?!" Jeremiah called out.

"Of course!" Grandmama said as they disappeared around the corner.

Winter looked down slightly at Jeremiah since she had a few inches of height on him. He scratched the back of his head as he looked around.

"So uh? Want to go to the Colosseum?" He was praying she didn't say the dreaded words.

"Why not go to the dance lessons your Grandmother signed us up for?" She figured that was an oppurtunity they should take.

"Son...of...a...bitch." That was starting to become his catchphrase.


	27. Dancing and Roman's Punishment

**Okay here we go, starting the new year off with a new chapter! I plan on going out on tuesday to go and buy a ps4. So that should be a fun addition to my collection!**

* * *

"OW!" Winter let out a slight cry of pain as Jeremiah stepped on her toes during the dance lesson.

"Sorry!" He said as he was looking down.

"You better not be staring at my breasts!" Winter glared at him.

"Hey! I'm trying to look down at your feet! Maybe then I won't step on your toes!" He argued back as he was trying to be a good dance partner.

"And even then, I'm face level with your breasts! It's hard to not stare!" He honestly had to resist the urge to stare.

"Then look me in the eyes!" She said as this was just getting weirder and weirder.

"But that will put a crick in my neck!" He honestly didn't know what else to say.

"Oh for the love of Rome, what are you an old man?" She argued with her pretend lover.

"No! That's just uncomfortable!"

Meanwhile other couples were staring at the two, they found it hilarious how the two were arguing over such frivolous things. They knew the argument wasn't anything serious, as it was mostly about them going back and forth about who was telling the other one what to do. The dance instructor was laughing his ass off, he knew American's could be funny people, but to see them screw up dancing so badly was hilarious. Course the short one seemed a little crazy, so he had to keep his laughter in. And LORD knows what the tall one would do to him. She had a bit of a short fuse.

"Do you want me to take the lead?" Winter asked as she had to admit, he was kind of clumsy.

How could a man who was so handy with firearms be so clumsy with his feet?

"I can do it!" He pouted like a child.

"I'm taking the lead." Winter said as she took charge.

Unfortunately, when you try and take the lead from a clumsy dancer, things get awkward. Suddenly Jeremiah felt himself falling to the ground, while pulling Winter down with him.

"OOF!" Both said as they bonked heads.

Winter opened her eyes, as she shut them on the way down. Only to see that she was staring back into Jeremiahs. You know, the funny thing is, before she never took notice, but he did have nice eyes, they were a shade of blue that wasn't too dark, nor too light, in fact if she didn't know any better, she would say it depended on the angle you looked at him from. Sometimes it looked like an electric blue, and other times a dark blue. One thing was for sure, she felt herself staring at him. Not in a creepy way, more like a 'Lost in your eyes' kind of way. Wow, thats weird, the worst pick up line in history actually makes some sense.

"Uhm...Winter?" Jeremiah said nervously.

"Y-Yes?" She said unsure about why she felt so nervous all of a sudden.

"Could you...get off me? I think you hit my nut on the way down." Jeremiah had an uncomfortable look on his face.

"O-Oh! Sorry!" She said as she noticed that she had indeed accidentally planted her knee in his junk.

"Owwwwww..." He said as he rolled over to the side. The pain only just hitting him.

Winter actually did feel bad, when she first met him, she wanted to castrate him for kissing her sister, but now they were supposed to be enjoying a "Couples" dance class. And she had inadvertently tried to take the lead because she thought of him as incompetent, only to accidentally knee him in the...wait a second? Did he say Nut? Oh damn, that wasn't good. What if she accidentally made it so he couldn't have kids?

Wait? Why was she thinking that? Why did she care if he could have kids or not? It wasn't like she was thinking about what her future spawn would...WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING?! No! This was just a cover! Nothing more! Although she had to admit, he wasn't half bad on the eyes. As he was laying on the floor in pain and clutching his crotch. Winter took the time to look him over.

Sure the bald head was kind of a down sign, but he wasn't particulary ugly nor handsome, he wasn't tall, he certainly wasn't the biggest person there was. But there was something about him. His muscles while not having the look of a soldier, did have some tone to them, almost like he did a lot of swimming. His face while covered with a red beard, did have some nice muscle as well as a nice jawline, possibly from the years of work he had done on the farm. And his skin, while he did have a farmers tan, it was amazing how you could see the contrast between the lightly tanned skin, and the pasty white skin usually covered by a shirt.

Overall, he was average, there was nothing special about him, he was just a normal person, she was born from a high class family, a family with a reputation to uphold. A family that had no time for commoners like him. So why did she feel the need to get closer to him?

Then again, she had met many of the so called commoners while serving in the Atlesian army, so what was so bad about being normal? She honestly didn't know.

"Okay, I think I'm good." Jeremiah said as Winter was lost in thought.

"Hey Snowflake, you okay?" He said as he waved a hand in front of her face knocking her out of her daze.

"Hm? Oh sorry, its just that...wait, what did you call me?" She wasn't sure if she heard him right.

"Uh, Snowflake, I figured its better than Ice Queen, and you know...you're one of a kind." He said with a nervous chuckle.

Okay, for once he actually did say something slightly smooth.

"It's an interesting choice." That was all she could say.

"The only other one I could think of was Snowman, but you're not driving a big rig talking to Bandit." He should have just shut up, he made movie references when he was nervous.

"Excuse me?" Winter did not understand what he was talking about.

"Oh, its from a movie." Great, now she was going to think he was weird.

"What movie?" She was honestly curious, the Schnee did not have a lot of time for movies, and when she did, they were usually old romance movies suprisingly.

"Smokey and the bandit, it's about two guys boot legging beer to Atlanta." No point in hiding it now.

"Wait, they're criminals?" She asked not understanding why this was a good thing.

"Well, not exactly, they are the good guys." He didn't really know how to describe it.

"You would have to watch it to understand." There was no way she would lower herself to watch something like that.

"I would like to see it." She was honestly surprised at herself. Why did she care?

"Really? Uh, yeah sure, when we get back." Was Jeremiah drinking? Well, not more than usual. He actually cut down ever since he found out he may have liver damage.

Still though, Winter wanting to watch a movie that was essentially a redneck's dream? He had to be dreaming.

"Well you two seem to be getting along fine." Jaune said as both Pyrrha and him walked into the class.

"I thought you went with Meemaw to go on a tour?" Jeremiah didn't expect to see them here.

"We got lost, and then we saw you here through the window, so we figured we would check on you." Pyrrha honestly got a laugh out of watching them bump heads.

"Looks like you're having a bit of trouble there." Jaune thought his teaching skills were better.

"Hey you only taught me how to dance in a club, we never got to ballroom dancing." Jeremiah looked at Jaune as his friend sighed.

"Well, here's what you need to do." Jaune grabbed his arm and got him into an embrace.

"HEY!" He did not agree to this.

"Just relax." If they weren't about to start dancing, this would look really weird.

Meanwhile the other students were looking onward.

"Fine, but I'm not putting on a dress." Jeremiah grumbled as he noticed Jaune was taking the lead.

 **(Play Por Una Cabeza)**

The rest of the class was starting to dance as the band put on another song.

"Wait a minute, isn't that the song from True Lies?" Jeremiah asked as he recognized the music.

"Just shut up and pay attention." Jaune said as he was teaching Jerry the steps.

Jeremiah just rolled his eyes, well, Jaune had seven sisters, so he knew how to dance, and he was certain that he would have been required to learn who knows how many ballroom dance moves. So he just decided to go with it. Meanwhile the entire class was watching.

"Gaaayyyyy." One elderly italian man said as the others laughed.

Jaune just ignored them as he was teaching Jeremiah an important skill. Well, kind of important skill. After all, no one wants to be the one at a wedding dancing like a chicken with it's head cut off.

"Wow, what losers" A young woman said as she couldn't believe that those two couldn't find a partner.

"Do they not realize who we came in with?" Jeremiah asked as it was really irritating.

"Have you noticed that you're doing better?" Jaune asked as Jeremiah suddenly felt a lightbulb go off in his head.

"What the hell?" He asked as this was not making sense.

"Here's your problem, you focus so much on trying to do good, that you end up overcompensating in steps and movements, and you end up dancing like a toddler trying to imitate Michael Jackson's Thriller dance." Jaune was actually embarassed by watching Jeremiah dance.

"You need to relax, dancing is supposed to be fun, not technical." Jeremiah was just nodding along.

"Hey, I do have fun when I dance, but usually only after a few beers." In his defense, after a few beers, he didn't care how badly he danced.

"And you wonder why we tell you to cut down on your drinking." Jaune rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile Winter and Pyrrha were having a chat.

"Good to see yours know what he's doing." Winter said as Pyrrha chuckled.

"At least yours is learning." Pyrrha said as she saw Jaune dip Jeremiah.

"Okay, might want to be careful there." She said as Jeremiah had an embarrassed look on his face.

"So, seems like you two were having fun." Pyrrha said as Winter grumbled.

"More like trying not to fall over each other." She said as she had never seen someone stumble over their own feet like that.

"Oh? Falling for each other already?" Pyrrha ever since she got together with Jaune was a lot more open with joking about relationships.

"W-What?! It's not like that at all!" Winter said as she steeled herself, she was not interested in that man!

"Oh come on, everyone can see it." Pyrrha was just being a tease now.

"There is nothing between us, I'm graceful, he's clumsy." Winter shot back.

"He's fire, you're ice, he's fun, you're serious, we get it. Doesn't mean you can't feel something." Pyrrha said as she saw those two talking sometimes, and it was surprising how two people who seemed to be completely different could come together for a serious conversation.

"Come on, I saw the way you were looking at him at lunch, you mean to tell me there is nothing at all?" Pyrrha honestly couldn't believe it.

"Nothing at all, and I am certain he feels the same way." Winter was sure of that.

 _"Oh my Oum! It's like Jaune being oblivious to my feelings, except this time it's even worse, BOTH OF THEM ARE OBLIVIOUS!"_ Pyrrha couldn't believe it.

"See? It's that simple." Jaune said as they were taking a break.

"Ha! Get a room you two!" One of the students said as Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

"Hey dude? Quick question, you here alone?" Jeremiah asked as the man smirked.

"Whats it to you?" He asked as Jeremiah got a sadistic grin.

"Well, I will have you know." He gave Jaune a look.

"That we-" They both ran over and grabbed Pyrrha and Winter.

"Are here with these lovely ladies!" Jaune said as they both held their ladies close.

"Hey!" Winter said as she did not appreciate being shown off.

"Bullshit! There is no way that bald guy could be seeing HER!" The student was honestly surprised, but there was no way that the short bald guy could be dating the tall white boobie goddess...yes they referred to her as that too.

"Well I am!" Jeremiah said as he was hoping Winter would go along with the cover.

"Prove it! Show us a kiss!" A female student called out.

"Yeah!" Another student shouted out.

"Oh...Shit..." Great, Winter was going to kill him.

Sure enough, Winter was giving him a look, a look that said 'you really should have just shut up.'

"Ha! She won't do it!" The student from earlier was mocking them.

"Uh We should uhm..." He was trying to talk to Winter.

"You got me into this mess." Winter was slightly mad.

"Well yeah, but it is our cover so, maybe we should just-" He was cut off by Jaune and Pyrrha being sneaky.

"Oops!" Pyrrha and Jaune 'accidentally' bumped into the two, which brought them forward into a lip lock.

"Oh...I guess he wasn't lying..." The student who mocked Jaune and Jeremiah suddenly felt very lonely.

Winter on the other hand, was ready to smack the hell out of Jeremiah. But strangely, she hadn't pushed him away yet. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she felt...right. It wasn't like when Jeremiah had kissed her sister, when he tasted like alcohol and bad decisions according to Weiss, now the taste was much different, it was odd, but she could taste lingonberries on his lips. He wasn't overly messy, and overall, he was gentle. Course he was just as surprised as she was.

" _How dare he-, I can't believe-, He is in so much-, why...why is this so...confusing?"_ Winter didn't know what to feel.

 _"Woah, okay, this is weird, so let me think about my life so far. First Cubs won the world series, we get a new president, I accidentally made out with Weiss, and now here I am making out with Winter...damn 2016 was great, but 2017 is off to ONE HELL OF A START!"_ He didn't even care that he might get a sword to the dick afterwards.

Both pulled away slowly, looking at each other, Pale blue eyes meeting dark blue eyes. Both had a blush on their face as they looked away.

"Awww, thats cute." One of the female students said as she had to admit, they looked so adorable.

"Uh, we got to go." Jeremiah said as he took Winter by the hand.

She blushed a little bit, but she noticed how Jaune and Pyrrha had shit eating grins. Wait a minute, she felt something bump into her-

THEY PLANNED THIS?!

* * *

 **BACK IN THE STATES**

"Oh my good sweet baby Jesus! Dale get the camera!" Momma was greatly enjoying 'Spoiling' her unofficially possibly kidnapped adopted daughter.

 _"This is...humiliating."_ Neo said as she was wearing a pink bunny suit.

Once again, she tried to go and help Roman, but the problem is they stuffed her with so much food, it was hard to move. And by the time she finally finished digesting all the food Momma had given her, she brought in an old pink bunny suit for Neo to try on. As if the tiny sundress wasn't bad enough, now Neo had to sit down while looking like Bugs Bunny had sex with Kirby.

"Who wants a slice of carrot cake?!" Momma said as she pulled out freshly baked carrot cake.

 _"No! I will not be subject to your...to your...oh for sweet heaven's sake that smells divine!"_ Neo couldn't help it, that carrot cake did smell quite delicious.

So what were her options, either stay here and be forced to try on various cutesy outfits while being fed numerous sweets, foods, and candy. Or try and help Roman escape from the crazy war vet who might be waterboarding her partner with moonshine? Come to think of it, what the hell was Moonshine? She had never heard of it until now? Was that some kind of popular drink in this world?

"No! No! No! NO!" She saw Roman crawling out of the basement stairwell, His clothes were torn, and his face was all fucked up from getting punched a lot.

"GET OVER HERE!" She heard a voice yell as Roman was dragged back downstairs.

"NO PLEASE!" The sounds of a beating commenced.

"Oh dear, it would appear my husband has been playing Mortal Kombat again." Momma said as Neo made up her mind then.

 _"Okay that's it, I'm staying RIGHT here!"_ Her mind was made up as soon as she saw Roman get dragged away.

Come to think of it, there was no way this shit was legal. I mean, could they really beat the shit out of someone that much for breaking into their house? I mean, after all Roman was her-

She stopped herself there, and remembered every single short joke, every single jab at her height, and Roman's horrible cigar smoke, and his bad jokes, and his stupid, stupid orange hair.

 _"You know what, screw it, I've wanted to kick him in the balls for a long time, I'll just let the crazy guy do it for me, Besides, he should be fine, what could an old man do to him?"_ Neo thought to herself.

"Honey! Where did you put my bear traps?! He may try to escape again!" Pa yelled out from the basement.

 _"Oh dear Oum, its almost like he's being punished for every single crime he ever committed."_ Neo honestly had no idea what force brought them here.

"Oh! How about this! Homemade Neapolitan cheese cake!" Momma put it in front of Neo as she started to drool.

 _"Ohmygosh! A cheesecake mixed with Neapolitan Ice cream?! I love this place."_ This was something she would happily bite into.

 _"You know, if they feed me like this everyday, maybe this place isn't so bad."_ Neo thought as she heard Roman screaming.

"WAIT?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?!" He yelled from the basement.

" _Come to think of it, how has no one reported this?"_ Surely if they were in Vale, someone would hear the screams, right?

She tried to get out of her chair, but her stomach didn't want to move. She sighed, as she had to do the one thing she REALLY didn't want to do. She motioned her arms up to Momma.

"Aaawwww, you want up?" Momma said with a smile as Neo just looked down.

The 6'3'' woman absolutely towered over her 4'9'' frame, She practically was a small child. And she definitely felt like one after Momma picked her up. Wait? Why was she calling her Momma? Oh no, she was developing Stockholm syndrome wasn't she?

It only got worse when she looked outside, and all she saw for miles was corn...this wasn't Vale...this wasn't Vale at all!

Where the hell did they blast off to?


	28. Thoughts and Cages

**_Okay guys, so like I said, I have been trying to write more and more for this story, mostly because I already have an idea for the sequel, so I am trying to pump out chapter after chapter that I have planned. Especially since I took a long break when my laptop was being repaired. Believe it or not not, this chapter was written about an hour after I published the last chapter of Out of Place._**

 ** _Luckily, I have an idea of what I want to do. Anyways, some reviewers are asking why I am being mean to Roman. Well, I like Roman but..._**

 ** _He is a criminal! And I am serving Justice! That and I needed some comedy relief, and Neo is just too adorable despite being a hate filled midget of death._**

 ** _Anyways, because I had this chapter laying around, and didn't feel like waiting a day to publish it, fuck it! Two chapters in one day!_**

* * *

 _"Crap, Winter has been really quiet, oh crap, something tells me we shouldn't have kissed, crap, crap, shit, fuck, titty sprinkles."_ Jeremiah honestly didn't know what to say.

It was true, Winter had been really quiet ever since they kissed at the dance studio. Granted it was by accident, but still it was a little awkward. It was even getting to the point where even Jaune and Pyrrha were wondering if they did the right thing. What they didn't know was that there was something else in play. Winter actually LIKED that kiss. And that was what was driving her nuts.

 _"I can't believe this! I have met numerous men in my life! I have been on dates, I have kissed people before, but this...THIS one got to me?!"_ Winter couldn't believe it.

She was not a novice on the dating field, as she had been on a few dates during her time in the military. But they never really ended well, few actually got to the physical aspects of the relationship, and even then it was nothing more than a hug or a kiss, mostly because Winter decided her career was a higher priority than a relationship. Especially since she knew her father might try to set her up with someone. And she sure as hell did not want that.

And yet, during that accidental kiss, she felt something. And she couldn't describe it. But it felt nice. It actually gave her a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. And that was what was messing with her head, Jeremiah was not a bad looking man, but he wasn't exactly a marble statue of perfection. He drank, he played video games, he spent his days acting a bit crazier than she was used to. So why did she feel a little bit of a spark?

She thought it through, and in the end, the answer was so obvious. It was because he was different, her whole life she was used to a strict routine, and you never deviated from that routine, even when she joined the military, there was always organization and routine. But Jeremiah was the exact opposite, if Winter was a calm night on the beach, Jeremiah was a hurricane of drunken antics and shenanigans. And maybe THAT was what made her feel the spark.

She liked order, she liked her routine, but she had been living that way her entire life, was it time for her to try something new?

Meanwhile Jeremiah was focusing on how to not get his dick cut off.

 _"Shit! Shit! Shit! She's got that look in her eye! What if she is thinking about reverting back to psycho castration death angel? Oh man, I didn't mean to kiss her, I mean it was a good kiss, but, wait! Did I really think that?"_ Jeremiah could not believe he thought that.

He was not going to lie and say that Winter wasn't attractive, after all she was a knockout! But she was probably a ten, when he was sitting at maybe a...six point five? He didn't know. The point was, girls like Winter did not end up with guys like him. Besides, this was just a cover! At the end of this, they would all go home, and he would never see her again. Surprisingly he actually felt sad at that, why? She was just a character...or was she?

In all honesty, they were real living people now, they weren't just characters drawn on a piece of paper or animated in a studio, but they were real, and that was something he didn't know how to handle. He didn't have a lot of friends anymore, most had moved away, some passed away, and some he just stopped talking to. And here he found himself connecting with a group of people who were from his favorite tv show. And there it was again, at the end of the day, they still didn't belong in his world.

 _"This isn't some fanfic where the main character falls in love with his favorite character and all of their dreams come true. That would just be ridiculous."_ He thought to himself s he looked up at the stars.

 _"Besides..."_ Jeremiah didn't realize Winter was thinking the same thing.

 _" **He/She** probably doesn't think of me that way." _Both thought at the same time.

Meanwhile a few paces behind them. Jaune and Pyrrha were scheming, Jeremiah had done a lot to help their relationship to move along, and he had given them useful intel o pass onto Ozpin, so the least they could do was help give him a healthy relationship. There was only one problem. Both Winter and Jeremiah had the same exact problem. They were both so dense!

 _"No, its nothing, I don't feel anything for him!"_ Winter steeled herself as she was sure it was nothing.

 _ **Music starts playing**_

" _Who you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heaven to you."_ Suddenly Jeremiah and Winter were knocked out of their thoughts.

"Where is that music coming from?" Winter asked as that was random.

"Wait a minute, that's Disney's Hercules...Why is it playing in Rome? And who the hell is doing that?" Jeremiah didn't see anyone.

However, if he looked up on the roof you could Nora with a boombox, it was late at night and everyone had gone home for the night, so they were walking the streets alone. And Nora decided to use some of the Euros that Grandmama had given her to buy a boombox. She saw this in a movie one time where a couple were seranaded with music, and she was a huge fan of Disney, so she figured this song would work.

 _"No Chance! No way! I won't say it no no!"_ Another voice said as Winter was getting more and more confused.

"Uh, what is going on?" She said as Jeremiah looked up.

"Oh damn it..." He said as he ran off.

"Hey! Where are you going?" She asked as she was left with Jaune and Pyrrha.

"What is she doing?" Pyrrha was not expecting this.

"Why does she have a boom box?" Jaune didn't see a single shop on the way here.

 _"It's too cliche! I won't say I'm in lo-" **SCRATCH REVERB SNATCH**_

"HEY!" Nora's voice said as Jeremiah took her boom box away.

"Nora! What are you doing?" Jeremiah was holding her boom box out of reach. Thankfully Nora was still shorter than him.

"Oh come on! You mean to tell me you don't see it?" She asked with a sarcastic grin, obviously he saw what she was talking about.

"See what? Nothing is going on." He said as Nora felt something in her mind break.

"Er, you...you're kidding right? The way you two look at each other?" No way this was happening again...right?

"Well yeah, we're friends, I mean I think we are, I'm still not sure if she's forgiven me for kissing her sister." Jeremiah said as you could hear glass shattering.

 _"NOT AGAIN! Seriously?! I had to deal with my teammates pulling this, and now its happening again?! HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE ABSOLUTELY CLUELE-"_ She suddenly saw Ren in the distance.

 _"Oh...guess I'm in no position to talk."_ She thought to herself.

"Anyways, can we please just go back? Grandmama has reservations for us at dinner." He said as he didn't want to keep Winter waiting.

He left Nora on the roof as Ren walked over to her and sighed.

"If only they could see what was right in front of them." He said as Nora had a flashback to that episode of RWBY chibi they watched.

"Yeah, if only!" Somehow she was even more frustrated now.

Seriously? Two couples, both who had grown close, and neither one had sealed the deal? THIS WAS MADNESS.

"Why do I have the sudden urge to yell 'This is Sparta?'" Jeremiah thought to himself, for some reason, overused jokes were going through his head.

* * *

 **BACK HOME**

"What did I do to deserve this?" Roman thought to himself as he was locked in a cage.

All he wanted to do was steal dust and bring mayhem to Remnant, was that too much to ask? Okay, maybe he had been a teency weency little bit bad. But come on, nothing to justify getting absolutely massacred by a crazy old man, who for some reason had a dungeon in his basement, he didn't even want to know why he had this down here. In fact, it was better that he didn't think about it.

He saw a door crack open and a light come down. Roman had to admit, he was panicking a little bit.

"Oh Oum! Come on! I already told you all I know! I don't know anything about any North Koreans!" The crazy old guy for some reason had been trying to grill information about some group of people out of him for the past three hours.

Who the hell were the North Koreans? And why did this guy seem to dislike them? All he knew was that the guy kept muttering under his breath about 'Better dead than red.' Roman didn't know, he heard the man's wife say he was having flashbacks.

"Come on can't you just...Neo?" He saw a head poke around the corner.

"Oh thank Oum! You have no idea how happy I am to see-" His jaw dropped as she came around the corner.

She was wearing a school girl's dress with puffy sleeves and a bear on it. Overall, she looked like a little kid. And Roman only had one thing to say.

"BA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh my gosh! What are you wearing? Did you miss your school bus? Oh! Whats with the look on your face, did some mean boy pull on your pigtails at recess?!" Roman had to admit, it was hilarious to see the pint sized killer dressed up like a little kid.

 _"..."_ Neo held up a basket of food.

"Oh! Oh thank you!" He said as he reached for it, only for Neo to hold it out of his reach and turn her back and cross her legs, and sit down on the ground with a pouty face.

"What? Oh come on! You can't seriously be mad about those jokes?" He couldn't get a response out of her.

"Oh come on! You look ridiculous! Even you have to admit that!" It was true, she honestly did look ridiculous.

He saw her using sign language.

 _"Oh well excuse me princess, I would have just thought that you would shut up if I brought this delicious food down! But Nooooooooo, you had to poke fun at this ridiculous outfit! I didn't ask to be this short or this cute!"_ Neo had a hard time in the criminal underworld due to her height.

Possible employers laughed at her size, and she ended up killing her possible employers because they pissed her off because of the height jokes. So in a way, her height was a pain.

"You're not seriously going to make me apologize are you?" He said as she turned around and smirked.

Only to uncover the basket and reveal a apple pie.

"You wouldn't..." He glared at her.

She smirked and started eating the pie in front of him.

"Oh you evil little bitch." Roman muttered under his breath.

He had pissed Neo off before, and she had her little hissy fits. But this was different, he was hungry as hell, and the only thing he had to eat and drink was Bread and water. Seriously, he needed a lawyer! Oh wait, he was an international criminal...well there had to be some kind of human rights violation going on here! There was no way anyone would get away with locking a man in a basement for this long.

"Look, I'm...SORRY." His apology wasn't sincere. Neo only smirked and used sign language again.

 _"And?"_ She signed with a grin on her face.

"I'm sorry I made fun of your dress, it looks really good on you." He knew this was going to be a long apology.

 _"And?"_ She was going to milk this for all it was worth.

"And you're the best partner I could ever ask for, you are super amazing and talented with your parasol, and I am lucky to have you as a partner, and without you I would be nothing but a no name criminal stealing purses from old ladies." He said as he knew this apology by heart by now.

This wasn't the first time he had pissed off Neo, and sometimes she even pulled this when they were in the middle of a job, it irritated him, but Neo was damn good at her job, so he did need her. Even if she did drive him crazy. Well, the good news was that she liked his apology, and she put the basket in front of his cage.

"Oh thank oum!" He said as he dived into a piece of pie.

"Oh holy hell, this stuff just melts in your mouth." He said as the pie was pretty good.

The basket also contained fresh fruit, a few sandwiches, some kind of beef recipe, a helping of pasta, and a cup of soup that he didn't recognize. Wait a second. A thought just came to him.

"Neo, where did you get this?" There was no way she made this.

 _"From the nice lady upstairs!"_ She signed as Roman gave her a 'Are you crazy?' look.

"You mean to tell me you have been making friend with the crazy people who put me in here?!" He was trying to lower her voice.

 _"In my defense, she caught me and starting feeding me! I couldn't get away!" S_ he huffed out.

"Wait, fed you?" Roman was confused.

 _"...Er...Yeah, she thought that you kidnapped me, and she thought I looked cute, so she just started giving me treats and food."_ Neo didn't want to remember the more embarrassing moments.

Like the lady putting her in various kids costumes leftover from Halloween, seriously? Why did she have those? Who kept a bunch of old costumes in their attic? **(1)**

"I can't believe this, well what can you tell me about them?" Neo said as he needed to know his enemy.

 _"Well, Momma is a really good cook, and she makes the best Neapolitan cheesecake I have ever had, it practically melts into a puddle of flavor in your mouth, but at the same time it maintains consistency, its almost like-"_ Neo found herself cut off by Roman.

"I meant weaknesses!" This was irritating, he really hoped they hadn't converted Neo.

 _"Oh Uhm...I...I haven't been paying attention."_ Roman couldn't fricking believe it.

"You mean to tell me, I have been stuck here for hours, while you had time to fraternize with those psychos, and you haven't learned a damn thing about them?" He said in a low voice.

 _"Hey! They just wouldn't stop! Everytime I tried to get away, I was surrounded with food, and then I was so full I couldn't move! And then they put me into different outfits, and then we were watching TV, fun fact, did you know there is a cartoon where the woodland critters get brutally massacred? Its kind of horrifying, but strangely funny."_ Neo said as she was surprised by what she had ended up watching.

Apparently when Momma and her husband had left the room, Neo had decided to flip through the channels, since there was very little she could actually do, just because she couldn't move since her stomach was so full it felt like it was going to explode. She ended up finding a tv show called 'Happy Tree friends.' And it was ANYTHING but happy. But strangely it made Neo happy.

That was until Momma said she wasn't nearly old enough to be watching that. That did piss her off to no end.

"Oh for Oums sake Neo! Have you not learned anything useful since I've been done here?!" He said as she did nod at him.

 _"Yes, for one thing, we're not in Remnant anymore."_ She said as Roman drew a blank face.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He asked, as he was sure he didn't hear her correctly.

 _"You heard me! We're not in Remnant! Momma let me use a tablet! I used it to connect to the Schnee network, but there was no Schnee network, just something called the internet, and when I tried to find information, all I found was information about some planet called Earth, and the fact we're in some country called the USA."_ She said as she was honestly a little scared.

"You're not joking are you?" Roman honestly didn't want to know the answer.

" _Where are we?"_ Neo didn't know what to think.

"I don't know...one thing is for sure. We can't stay here. You have to break me out" Roman said as they heard a voice.

"Ooohhhhhh Neo!" They heard a voice say.

"Neo! Dinner time!" Momma yelled as Neo looked up the stairs, and then back at Roman.

"No Neo! No!" Roman said as she got a look on her face.

" _I am so sorry Roman."_ She said as she ran upstairs for dinner.

"Oh come on!" Roman said as he laid back down in his cage.

Well...at least he still had the basket of food. And the crazy guy had stopped beating him up. But he still wasn't letting him out of his cell.

So maybe this wasn't such a bad after all.

"RUFF!" He saw a dog chewing on his hat.

"HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY HAT!" He yelled as he started playing tug of war with the dog.

Only for the dog to think that the girly man wanted to play tug of war. So he started wagging his tail and prepared for the worst.

"That is my ha-" Roman was cut off as he was tugged forward and bonked his head on the cage bar.

"Ow!" He said as he pulled away, only for Zeus the dog to pull him back forward and hit his head on the bars again.

"OW! YOU STUPID DOG!"


	29. Learning to Let It Go

**Okay, here we go. Another Chapter, something a little different.**

* * *

"Well isn't this familiar." Winter was fixing Jeremiah's tie for date night at this fantastic italian Restaurant with a great view of the Roman city.

"I still don't see how people tie these dang things." He grumbled as he felt like a kid having his mother tie his tie.

"It's simple, you just need to be willing to learn." She said as she finished tying it.

She backed away, showing off her dress, since the restaurant they were going to was rather formal. Winter did require a dress, and Jeremiah had to admit, she did look good. Her dress was pure white like her uniform, and her hair was back up in a bun like she was back in her Military formal dress uniform. But in Jeremiah's opinion, he liked seeing her civilian side a little bit more, maybe its because he liked seeing people from a higher class background just act like a normal person. He didn't know, but Winter did look fantastic.

Jeremiah was not the only one checking his fake lover out. Winter was looking at Jeremiah. While he was of small stature, surprisingly his muscles did seem to show behind the dress shirt. He was dressed in a slim fitting dark blue navy suit and a tie, his head was freshly shaved, and his red beard was trimmed to an appropriate length, even though he did still look a bit like a tiny Norse warrior, she had to admit, it was strange to actually see him dressed formally. What he wore to that Italian Restaurant back in the states had nothing on him now. Even though he was still dressed casually, but now he looked like a proper businessman. What a transformation.

"You look good." He didn't know what else to say without sounding stupid.

"So do you." This time she was being honest.

"Woah, not used to hearing that." He said as this was honestly a shock.

"Why? Because I'm saying it?" She said with narrowed eyes.

"No, just not used to hearing that, at all." He waved his hands in defense.

Winter backed off a bit, why did she get so defensive?

"Dude, Lex Luthor grew a beard." Jaune said as he walked by with Pyrrha.

"Oh wow, Lex Luthor jokes, how many times have I heard those?" Jeremiah said as he rolled his eyes.

Seriously ever since he started shaving his head. He had heard everything. Professor X, Lex Luthor, Heisenberg, Saitama, Jason Statham, Dominic Toretto, pretty much every bald character you could think of, he had been called it. Granted, being called Professor X was awesome. Still though, the jokes did get annoying.

"So where is Grandmama?" Jeremiah hadn't seen her yet.

"She is trying to get Ren and Nora to confess to each other." Pyrrha said as Grandmama was playing cupid again.

"Ha, that's Grandmama, always trying to rope some people into a relationship, Poor Ren and Nora." Jeremiah said as everyone besides Winter facepalmed.

 _"She's trying to make you two closer dipshit!"_ Jaune let his inner Miles have a voice.

They sat down at their table, Winter and Jeremiah were facing each other as they were the closest to the stone balcony, overlooking the stars and the sites of the ancient city. It was truly a sight to behold. Course, both Jeremiah and Winter were awkward, and they didn't know how to look each other in the eyes ever since their kiss. They still couldn't stop thinking about it.

They had been on pretend dates before, where they were just maintaining Winter's cover, but that kiss, that was something different, it didn't feel like make believe, it felt real. So what were they to do? Neither of them had the answer, because neither had never been in this situation before.

"So uh..." Jeremiah was speechless, there was nothing he could say.

"So..." Winter also was feeling a little awkward.

"The city looks nice doesn't it?" He said as they were overlooking the city.

"It does..." She said as she joined him in watching it.

"Hard to believe, that hundreds of years ago, this city was built by people with nothing but ambition and hand tools, nowadays, everyone uses machines, and yet some of these cities, which were built by people some would consider primitive, are even more beautiful than some of the modern wonders of the world." He said as he felt comfortable talking about history, it being one of his favorite subjects.

"Remnant has ruins of such civilizations, unforturnately it is all gone, scattered to the winds." Winter said, she wasn't trying to be depressing, but it was hard not to.

"It's a shame, there is so much we can learn from the history of those who came before us." He said as Winter raised her brow, he was sounding surprisingly serious.

"In what way?" She asked as Jeremiah was happy to explain.

"Well, for one thing, perseverance, living in Remnant, I am sure that is something you can understand, take me for example, my lineage traces back to Viking Raiders from Norway and Sweden. Now granted, a Raider may not be the role model you want, but there are some things from that culture that I think are important to take to heart, for example, bravery, fortitude, and strength." He explained as Winter smirked a bit.

"This coming from the man who ran away from a woman with a sword?" She said with a light chuckle.

"Hey, even the bravest of warriors feared the sight of a strong beautiful woman." He joked along with her.

"Can I ask you something?" Winter was honestly curious about who Jeremiah was as a person.

"Sure, go ahead." In reality, he was a bit nervous about what she was going to ask.

"Have you ever been in a serious relationship?" She was honestly curious.

"Oh...Oh boy, wasn't expecting that, well, as my mom told you, I have been in some entanglements in the past." He stated as Winter nodded along.

"Yes, I heard, but that wasn't what I meant, I mean something really serious, like you feel something, but don't know how to express it?" Winter asked as she was hoping he knew more about relationships than her.

"Well, there was this one girl a long time ago...but...I would prefer not to talk about her, that is a time gladly forgotten." He didn't really feel comfortable discussing his ex girlfriend.

"Bad memories?" She asked not understanding why he didn't want to discuss it.

"No, just the opposite..." He said as he took a deep breath, he knew he wasn't going to get out of this.

"It's just, being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, it truly is, you get together with someone who is really special to you, and you make memories together, you take up a hobby, you travel to different places, and you grow closer and closer as time goes on." Winter felt like this was a good explanation.

"But then, sometimes things go wrong, maybe its something you did, maybe its something she did, but the worst of all is when you don't know what went wrong, and one day, the one you thought you rarely cared about, the one you couldn't picture yourself living without, just packs up and leaves you. You feel sad for a day, and then you tell yourself to just get over it, but you get scared, you want to move on, but the memories of that one girl always comes back, what if she misses you too? What if she's waiting for you to come back to her? And you tell yourself, maybe one day she'll come back, and you push away people who may actually want to get to know you better, all for the foolish hope of getting back together with one damn girl who left you all alone in the first place." This was shocking to Winter.

She knew she shouldn't have asked, but holy hell, this was the the most serious she had EVER seen him. He was opening up to her like this was a bad Rom Com.

"And then you do see her again, after so long, she says Hi, and introduces you to her new boyfriend, you shake his hand, you smile, and you leave. But in reality, you kick yourself for wondering how you could be stupid as to believe someone who didn't want you anymore would come back? And you just wasted two years waiting for absolutely nothing. That kind of thing, well, lets just say it leaves an impression on you. Especially for someone like me." Jeremiah looked Winter in the eyes.

"Really? But, no offense, you seem the type to be...well...flirty." She had heard the stories from Nora on how he flirted with Ren when he was drunk.

He didn't seem like the type of person who had doubts going into a relationship.

"Harmless flirting is fine, if you don't expect it to go anywhere, then theres nothing wrong with it. But you see, I do like relationships I do want to be in one, but here is the problem..." He said as she looked deep into his dark blue eyes.

"How the hell can I be in a relationship? I don't know what to do, I don't remember how to act, It took me two years, TWO years, just to get over a woman who wasn't right for me. And even then, I still can't trust myself to enter in a relationship, because I don't think with my head, I just go with gut feeling, and sometimes, your gut is wrong." He finished as Winter remained silent.

What he didn't realize was that everyone was listening in on their conversation. Ruby and Yang were honestly shocked that JEREMIAH had issues with relationships of all people. Jaune and Pyrrha actually felt kind of bad for him, but they knew he needed this relationship with Winter, it was good for them. Grandmama had heard this story before, so it was nothing new, she never liked that girl anyway, she always seemed to be hiding something, she just didn't know what...

Weiss actually couldn't believe this was the same idiot she had been living with this entire time, if you had told her that Jeremiah had an emotional side a week ago, she would have laughed and brushed it off, but after seeing her sister and Jeremiah interact, not only did he seem to be more serious, but he seemed a lot more open. And in a way, it made her start to understand him more.

Nora honestly wanted to give Jerry a hug, he seemed like he needed it. Still though, it was scary to think about. It took him that long to get over a relationship? Must have been some girl, but the question still remained, why would she leave like that all of a sudden?

"If I could say something..." Winter said as it was her turn to try and comfort him.

"Fire away." He said hoping it wasn't another question.

"It's probaby best that you don't think about it too much." She said as she couldn't believe what she was saying.

Here was the woman who was constantly saying to think with your heard, dreams were good, but sometimes your heart did not understand the world around it, so it was more important to use logic instead of emotions. But, just this once, maybe she would try something different.

"There are some things you just can't logically explain, we like to think we can control everything in our lives, that we are in complete control, and that we never lose sight of our goals or what we want, but the truth is, life is more complicated than that." She was honestly surprised over what was coming out of her mouth.

"We don't always succeed, we don't always end up the way we wanted, and sometimes that can be hard to take, but isn't that what is so great about life? After all, didn't you say you admired perserverance?" She asked as Jeremiah nodded.

"Then you endure, if life was so easy that we could think out every solution, what would be the point? We sometimes fall down, and we make mistakes, but we shouldn't let that stop us, I don't know what it was about this woman that made you care for her, but...I do know that sometimes you can't control certain feelings, you ask yourself why? Why is this happening? Why this person? And you try to reason with it, but you can't, and you have to accept one certain fact..." Winter said as she actually took his hand.

"That some things just happen, and it is up to us, whether we choose to make it a happy memory or a bad one." Winter said as everyone's jaws were dropping.

 _"D-Did Winter just...just give relationship advice?"_ Weiss loved her big sister, but her big sister always seemed to have the lone wolf persona.

 _"Damn, I think those two just pulled my heart strings a bit."_ Jaune said as he honestly felt very happy as he held Pyrrha's hand.

"W-Wow...that was...profound." No one was more shocked than Jeremiah.

Both noticed that their hands were still touching, they both stared at the embrace before they slowly pulled away. Both couldn't believe what had just transpired. But at the same time, they still didn't know how to deal with it.

 _"What did I do? I know what I gave was good advice, but how do I follow it? I have never felt anything like this, what if its nothing? What if its just a rush of chemicals in the brain?"_ Winter was falling back into the 'You have to think logically' phase. But some things in life you can't control.

 _"What do I do now? I mean, She's right, I can't live the rest of my life being afraid of nothing except a relationship, but how do I start? I haven't been with anyone for a long time, and...who would want to get to know me?"_ Jeremiah couldn't stop every thought, both positive and negative from going into his head.

"The band is playing." Grandmama said as she saw people starting to dance.

"Come on!" Nora knew what she needed to do, she signaled to Jaune and Pyrrha.

"Hey! Woah! What-" Both Jeremiah and Winter were swept up in the crowd.

"...Those kids." Grandmama said as she sat down and ordered for all of them.

"What is going-" Jeremiah was cut off as he was standing in front of Winter on the dance floor, for once he was face to face with her.

For this night, she didn't wear heels, and he was wearing thick black boots, so for once, he could actually match her in height, this was something new for the both of them.

"Come on, you know what to do." Jaune said as he grasped Pyrrha ready to dance to the music.

"But we only had one less-" Winter was cut off by Pyrrha.

"Remember your own advice, just stop thinking and start feeling." She said as Winter remained silent.

Both of the two hopeless souls stared longingly into each other's eyes, neither one knowing what the other was thinking. Both oblivious to what the other was feeling, but it was so plain to see for everyone else. It may not be love at first sight, but there was something buried deep within them both hoping to crawl to the surface. So, they stopped thinking and just decided to let life take them where they would go.

Jeremiah took Winter's hand in his, and placed his hand on her hip. Praying to god that he wouldn't step on her toes this time. He took a deep breath to help him relax, his heart pounding, he was fearful of what would happen. He always tried to be brave, whether it was with a fight or facing a fear he had for awhile, but this was something different, but he knew he couldn't let himself be held back by something as simple as embarassment.

He took the lead, so far so good. His steps were not clumsy, but they were not professional by any means, they were average, but one thing was for sure, he hadn't already screwed up, and considering Winter hadn't pulled away, it was clear that she needed this just as much as he did.

One step, two step, just like he learned from Jaune. The song playing was both beautiful but melancholic, to be honest, he couldn't understand what those singers were singing about, all he hoped was that he could get through this night without messing anything up. Winter meanwhile was thinking something similar. One thing that was no both of their minds though, was one simple thought.

 _"What if...what I'm feeling is more than just an awkard feeling because of the kiss? What if its something more?"_ Both thought at the same time.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE IN AMERICA**

"Okay, so he finally calmed down?" Roman said as he was nursing a bump on his head from that damn dog.

 _"Yep! But they still won't let you out."_ She signed, still wasn't good news, but at least he wouldn't be getting beat up anymore.

"Oh come on why?" He asked.

 _"Well, Momma thinks you may be a pedophile, so its going to take me awhile to convince her that you're not, also because we DID technically break in."_ She pointed out.

"Not intentionally! If I could choose to be back in a Vale Jail, I would rather be here than having my ass kicked by an crazy guy with a bad temper!" Roman was furious with his associate.

"Wait a minute, did you just call her Momma?" Roman couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Neo sweetie! Cookies are out!" Momma called down as Neo got excited

 _"Oh boy! She makes these cookies that just fall apart in your mouth, they taste like chocolate chips and whipped cream all at once!"_ Neo actually SKIPPED up the stairs.

Roman was left alone with his thoughts.

"Oh no...they broke her." Roman looked down at the remains of his hat.

The damn dog had slobbered all over it and torn it to shreds.

And that was his favorite hat too...

* * *

 **And here we go! Believe it or not, this chapter was finished fairly quickly, so wow, three chapters in one day, thats pretty productive of me! I just love writing this story. Anyways the emotional relationship talk is personal to me, because I waited THREE years for a girl to come back, only for her to start dating my friend. Granted, I wished them luck, but it HURT LIKE HELL.**

 **Since then, I have grown as a person, so I have a better outlook on life, can't let yourself be too absorbed in the past, or you miss what awaits you in the future. In a way, her dumping me was the best thing that ever happened to me. I improved my mental and physical well being, came out as Bi, did better in school made better investments in life. And overall, I'm pretty successful.**

 **God bless you all for reading.**


	30. Getting To Know One Another

**Okay, here we go, another update, I'm going to try and slow down over the next day or two. Mostly because, four chapters within two days, thats quite an achievement.**

 **Anyways, so some plot details will be unfolded, some may not make ANY SENSE at all. But remember, this is still a crack fic at heart, even if it does get serious at times as I am trying to incorporate more drama and emotions into it.**

 **Anyways, this story itself, I plan to at least go up to fifty chapters before I start the sequel.**

* * *

"You've improved." Winter stated as simply as she could.

Granted, he still wasn't very graceful, but at least now he could dance the basics. And Winter was grateful for that, especially since he was wearing steel toed boots, which meant getting your toes stepped on would hurt.

"Thanks, I'm still a little nervous." He was telling the truth, he wasn't used to dancing like this.

"Haven't you ever danced before?" Winter asked as even she had experience dancing.

"Nope, I got food poisoning at prom, so never danced there." That was not a good night for him.

"Well, at least you're doing well now." Winter had to admit, this was actually nice.

Usually when she had to dance, it was with rich snobs who irritated her. But with just a normal down to earth guy, it was actually quite pleasant. Or maybe it was just because of who she was with. Honestly she wasn't sure. All she knew was that this felt right. And she was having a good time.

"You're breathing pretty heavily." Winter could feel her chest up against his as they were dancing, he was taking in nervous breaths.

"Sorry, its just, its been awhile since I have been this close to someone." He said as giving hugs were different.

Here they were, chest to chest, making direct eye contact and moving in sync with another, all while classical music played in the background. One could say that it was the perfect romantic setting, but neither one had the courage to ask the other that one question.

"So, you asked me about my past, would you mind if I asked you about yours?" Jeremiah asked as he dipped her.

"Getting a little bold aren't we?" She said as she was surprised he went for a dip.

"Well, I saw Jaune do it to Pyrrha, and kind of wanted to try it out." He said with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Well, what do you want to know?" She asked, even though she probably knew.

"Well, with all my talk of past flames, what about you? Anyone special for Ms. Schnee?" He asked as she was silent for a bit.

"I'm afraid, my career doesn't leave me much time for romantic affairs." She said as professionally as she could.

"And before that?" He asked as Winter was caught off guard.

"I beg your pardon?" She asked confused.

"Well, I know enough about you from the show that you weren't always a warrior woman, what about before? You know during school? Any special guys...or girls, I don't judge." He said with a grin at the end.

She gave him a playful glare, and a light punch to the shoulder.

"Just guys for me thank you very much, but no, being sent to a private academy wasn't an ideal place for relationships, well at least..." She trailed off at the end.

"Not the kind you want, let me guess, some of them were rich kids, who seemed to only want a relationship for money or power?" He asked as Winter was surprised.

"How did you figure that out?" He was surprising Winter with how perceptive he could be.

"I watch a lot of Game of Thrones, and Medici: Masters of Florence, in some cases, rich heirs would sometimes be betrothed to other rich heirs, or in your case heiress in hopes of obtaining political or economic power." He said as Winter raised another eyebrow.

"You...You learned that from fictional tv shows..." She wanted to say she was shocked, but she wasn't.

"Well, in all honesty, Medici: Masters of Florence is based on history." He said in his defense with a grin.

And there it was again, that warm fuzzy feeling Winter got when she looked at him. It wasn't like the students she met at the academy, a smile full of arrogance and scorn for those of a lower social class. This was the smile of a man who just wanted to have a good life, and who wanted to live life to the fullest. It was the smile of a kind man. And that was what she l-

What she liked about him. He was so different from those she was used to.

"You know, as much as I don't agree with getting facts from television, I'll let it slide this time." She added with a slight giggle at the end.

"Oh? Was that a giggle I heard Madame Schnee?" He said in a dorky suave tone.

"What? Is it so uncommon to hear that?" She said playing his game.

"Weellll, you saw that episode where you fought Qrow...right?" He said as Winter rolled her eyes at that.

"I would have beaten that old man." She said as she was confident in her skills.

"Well, a lot of fans took you for a no nonsense ballbreaker." He said as she rolled her eyes.

"Great, just like the men I command." She said as she was worried what Jeremiah would think, and there it was again! Why did she care what he thought?

"But now I get to see a new side, just like when you talked to Weiss about summoning." Jeremiah continued as Winter turned an ear to listen to what he had to say.

"Some people think you were just an ice cold ballbreaker with a bit of a temper tantrum, however-" He stressed that last part so Winter knew that he was about to give his opinion.

"In my opinion, you have to be tough, but with your sister, you're a lot more friendly and warm, it shows that you do care about her, and anyone close to you, so there is a warm and friendly side for you, one just has to be able to bring it out." He said as she actually smiled.

"You know, you shouldn't sell yourself as being awkward, when it comes down to it, you can be a great conversationalist, and dare I say flatterer?" She said with a smile.

"I have my moments." He said as he twirled her around.

"How did you learn to improve your dancing when we didn't have much of an opportunity to learn?" Winter was honestly curious.

"Well, Jaune is a good teacher, and he's right, once you stop thinking about it, and start thinking of it as something fun, it gets a lot easier." He said as she felt her feet getting sore.

"But it would be nice to take a break." She said as her feet were hurting.

"Well, if your feet hurt, at least its not because I stepped on your toes." He joked as they walked over to the stone balcony and watched over the city.

"Now this is a sight I could get used to." Winter said as even Atlas didn't compare to Rome.

"Yeah, it's something you wish you could see every night isn't it?" He asked as Winter nodded.

"You don't seem like the city type." She said as she looked at him as he leaned on the railing.

"Well, I'm not really, I do like some things about the city though, especially Rome, the culture, the food, being within walking distance of everything, but at the same time, its crowded, not a lot of empty spaces." He said as he reached into his wallet.

"Now here is a beautiful sight." He said as he he opened his wallet, going past a picture of Theodore Roosevelt, and showing Winter a roll of photos.

"These were taken on my last trip to Alaska, what do you think?" He said as she looked through them.

Overall, the landscape was breathtaking, beautiful forests, glaciers, snowcapped mountains, and of course the lakes, she had never seen water so clear and so fresh. Wherever this Alaska was, it looked like a beautiful place, it was no wonder Jeremiah loved it.

"It's gorgeous." She said as she handed him his wallet back.

"Yeah...it is..." He said as he looked at her.

She didn't even realize he was talking about her and not Alaska.

"So, what do you plan on doing with your future?" She asked as she never got around to asking him that.

"Well, after college, I plan on going into the military for about four years, after that, hopefully after that find a nice career, save up enough money and relocate to Alaska." He said as she raised an eyebrow.

"What about a house?" She asked as he looked up.

"Well, I don't think I'll need that big of a house, to be honest, I'm a simple man, are there a ton of things I want in life? Of course, and I hope I will be able to achieve those goals, but I could never be one of those big mansion type people, I don't need that much for just me." He said as Winter was a little sad that he seemed to be talking about living alone.

"I'll still visit family, and maybe one day even have my own." He said as that got her attention.

"I don't know, I just want a simple life, but a life good enough for my future family, as long as I got land, a nice cabin in the woods, and resources, I'll be happy..." He said as he looked at her.

"You ever thought about doing that?" He asked her.

"What do you mean?" She asked as she wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"Well, you grew up in a mansion didn't you?" He asked as she nodded.

"Yes." She didn't know what this had to do with anything.

"Did you ever think about how the house is big, but its empty? And there was a lot of stuff that was there for decoration but had no practical purpose other than your dad showing off money?" He asked as she had indeed felt like that.

Her father's policy was if you have it, flaunt it.

"Well, I can't do that, if you have money, thats great, but there are some things you don't need. All I want is something I can be comfortable in, nothing extravagant, just comfortable, heck, I would love to live in a hobbit hole rather than a cabin, but I'm good with either one." Okay that was a bit confusing to Winter.

"Hobbit hole?" She did not understand that reference.

"Oh yeah, you don't have Lord of the rings back in Remnant, well I'll let you borrow the books, and then we'll watch the movies, and you'll understand." He said with a smile.

"Sounds interesting." She said even though she had no idea what she was talking about.

It was now or never, time to ask Jeremiah what he thought of her. And hopefully get an answer as to why she was feeling the way she was. And hopefully he would be able to understand.

"Jeremiah...will you-" They were cut off as they heard the sound of something falling to the ground.

"What was that?" Jeremiah asked as he turned around.

"Oh crap." He said as Winter turned to see what the commotion was about.

Apparently Grandmama had punched a man for flirting with Nora, he was an older man who seemed to be a bit pervy. And Grandmama was having none of that.

"And don't talk to her again you old pervert!" Grandmama yelled at the man with the broken nose.

"Woah, dude, your grandmother is a bad ass!" Jaune was honestly not expecting to see that.

Little did they know, the other reason Grandmama punched the old pervert was because nothing was going to stand in between her and getting Nora and her best friend/love interest together.

She called it Operation Hammertime.

However, she then looked over and saw that Winter had a bit of a downtrodden look, but mostly a look of frustration.

Oh balls, she may have just interrupted Operation Fire and Ice.

 _"Oh don't be ridiculous Winter, it's probably nothing, just some sort of rush from when he kissed you, it will probably go away in a few days."_ Winter thought to herself.

But why was that hard to believe?

* * *

 **MEANWHILE IN AMERICA**

"Nobody knows...the trouble I've seen...Nobody knooooooowwwwsss but Jesussssss..." Roman was singing and playing a harmonica downstairs.

He had no idea what song it was, but he had heard it over the radio, and it was catchy. And the crazy bastard who lived here gave him a harmonica to play along if it would get him to shut up. Seriously, where the hell did he get this cage though? It bothered him to know that civilians could own cages.

"Okay, Mr. Girly man." The old man said as she shifted through files on a computer.

"I have looked through every criminal database there is, and I can't find any records on you, no birth certificate, no previous arrests, nothing, why I would say you appeared out of thin air..." The old man said as he turned around.

"So that must mean you're some kind of ghost operative." Dale said as he stood up.

"Now why don't you tell me what you were doing in my house?" He said as he prepared a car battery.

"OKAY OKAY! Look! I have no idea how I got here! I was robbing a place! Then some big explosion happened! And then I ended up here!" He said as Dale raised an eyebrow.

"That is the dumbest story I have ever heard..." He said as he prepared the electrical clamps.

"I swear its the truth!" Roman said as he did not want to be tortured.

"Tell me Mr. Girly man? Have you ever had an electric shock to the testicles?" Dale grinned as Torchwick got a look of horror.

"WHAT?!" Torchwick could not believe he was hearing this!

"Let me tell you, it sucks! HONEY! ADMINISTER THE TESTICLE CLAMPS!" Dale yelled as a woman came forward with the electric clamps.

"WAIT NO! I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Roman at this point was begging for mercy.

Only for the clamps to find their mark.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Roman screamed as he waked up only to find Neo sitting in front of his cage eating a cookie.

"Oh...Oh thank Oum! It was just a dream!" Roman had never felt so relieved in his life.

 _"What was a dream?"_ Neo held up a sign of text in front of her.

"You don't want to know, anyways how goes the negotiation?" He asked hoping he would be let out soon.

" _Well, I managed to convince them that you're not a pedophile, and that we are not criminals, but they still don't trust you."_ Neo held up another sign as Roman groaned.

"Oh come on! Why do they trust you? You're more sadistic than I am!" He was just stating a fact.

" _Because I'm cute! That and I have to admit, they are kind of growing on me."_ Neo honestly didn't want to stab them anymore.

Well...maybe every now and then whenever they made her try on stupid outfits...seriously she hated Ballerinas, and why did they have a ballet outfit for her?!

"Look, what do I have to do in order to get out of here?" Roman asked as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Neo! It's time for bed!" Dale yelled down as Neo groaned.

She walked to the bottom of the stairs and held up a sign.

 _"Five more minutes!"_ She spelled out on a white board.

"No young lady! You need your sleep, after all, you have a big day tomorrow." Dale said as Neo groaned.

"Wait? What does he mean by big day?" Roman asked.

 _"Oh, that. We're going to a local ice cream station! Apparently they make it fresh and serve it to you right then and there, its supposed to be really good! They also have custard, cake, candy, a bunch of other stuff! And frankly, I've been enjoying the amount of food lately. After all, jobs with you, we don't always eat well..."_ Neo trailed off.

It was true, while they were famous criminals, sometimes being a criminal meant skipping a meal to hide from the law. They had both gone some days being hungry as hell, but knowing that the food in prison wasn't worth being captured, they continued on. Here, Neo had been fed every single day, and she had never felt so satisfied in her life. It was nice to have someone feed you without threatening to kill them beforehand.

"Neo...don't get too attached to these people..." Roman warned.

 _"I'm not! I'm just playing a part!"_ She signed and then she huffed.

Although Roman honestly had his doubts, Neo was definitely developing some form of Stockholm Syndrome.

"You know, you're going to have to tell them your real age sometime." Roman said as they knew they thought she was a little kid due to her short stature, and childlike face.

 _"Oh please, with the outfits they put me in, it's a miracle I'm not in a crib looking at a mobile!"_ Okay, that was kind of irritating.

She was okay with being spoiled, but it really ticked her off that they still thought she was so young! Seriously! 4'9'' was not a short enough height to be considered ten years old! Right?


	31. The Daily Events

**Okay, so I bought my PS4, along with Uncharted 4 and Battlefield 1. And it is addicting as hell, I almost didn't finish this chapter in time. But here we go.**

* * *

"Awwwwwww..." Winter woke up from her slumber.

After Grandmama knocked out that pervert's teeth, they had gone back to the hotel for the night. And for once, Jeremiah and Winter did not complain about sharing the bed, although he did find it hard to keep his eyes off of her now that she wasn't wearing the old ugly nightgown his mother had given her to wear at home. And he saw that she did have a very...VERY nice figure. Of course, he didn't want to be caught staring. Seriously, her abs were better than his! Just showed he needed to work harder when he worked out.

Winter turned her head to see if Jeremiah was awake yet. Only to come face to face with a foot.

"What in the world?" Why was there a foot on the pillow?

"Ehge usbhe." She heard a voice say from the end of the bed.

She looked under the cover to see that Jeremiah had someone moved around in his sleep and his head was near her feet.

"Uhm, Jeremiah?" She poked his stomach, which was covered by a black wife beater.

"Herg GEHR!" He woke up with a start as he suddenly remembered where he was.

"Oh, is it 5:30 already?" He asked as that was his usual wake up time.

"Uh, we actually slept in, its about 8:00, I just woke you up because your foot is in my face." She said as she didn't know how that happened.

"Oh yeah, you never noticed before?" He asked her.

"Noticed what?" She honestly didn't know what he was talking about.

"Oh yeah, I usually wake up before you, well, I move around a lot in my sleep, you could say I'm an active dreamer, I used to also have a problem with sleep walking, but that faded as I got older." He said as he had woken up in his truck, he had woken up on top of the freezer, and he had woken up sleeping next to his dog.

Yeah, sleep walking used to be a weird problem.

"But if you move around as much as you say you do, how did you not wake me up? I'm a light sleeper." She said as Jeremiah actually laughed.

"Winter, you do realize one time when you were sleeping, I poked your neck with a stick, and you wouldn't wake up, right?" He asked as Winter glared at him.

"I highly doubt that." She said as there was no way that happened.

Jeremiah responded by unhooking his phone from the charger and going into his videos.

 _"Hey, Hey Snowflake, wake up! Wake up!"_ The voice on the video said as Winter saw an image of herself drooling.

Her face went red from embarrassment, she drools in her sleep? Oh that was bad. She swore to Oum, if Jeremiah showed this to anyone, she would go 'Kill bill' on his ass.

 _"Damn Weiss, your sister is out like a light."_ Jeremiah said as the camera turned to Weiss.

"Wait, Weiss was in on this?" Winter was honestly shocked.

"Yeah, I needed her help." He said as Weiss sighed on the screen.

 _"Have you tried setting an alarm clock?" Weiss on the screen pointed out the obvious._

 _"She just smashed that to bits a second ago, hang on." Jeremiah said as he brought out a fake rooster._

 _"I got this for christmas years ago, it has a built in sensor that lets out a rooster crow at a certain time, lets see what happens!" He set it up besides the bed._

"You mean to tell me that was YOUR DOING?!" Winter couldn't go back to sleep with that damn rooster crowing every five seconds.

"Hey, you needed to wake up, and as you recall, I had coffee waiting for you." He said as Winter paused there.

That was true, he did have coffee waiting for her, with two creams and sugar, just like she liked it. Wait, how did he find that out? Oh wait, Weiss must have told him.

"Come to think of it, this is probably one of the few times where we don't need coffee to actually wake up, I guess for once we both got enough sleep." Jeremiah pointed that out, as usually they were like two zombies searching for brains in the morning.

As numerously stated by Team RWBY, JNPR, and of course Momma, Pa, and Grandmama. Winter and Jeremiah had heard the stories, but they honestly couldn't understand them. How do you begin to imagine something, when you don't even remember what happened before you had your morning coffee? Or in Jeremiah's case, his morning green tea, for some reason he had cut coffee out of his diet. Something about wanting to take in less caffeine.

"GOOOOOOOODDDD MORNING JERRY AND WINNY!" Nora said as she kicked open the doors.

"EH!" Jeremiah said as he suddenly hugged Winter in fright.

"HEY!" She was protesting against this sudden hug.

"Ha! Got you! Come on! Meemaw is cooking breakfast before we go hiking!" Nora was skipping out the door.

"Your friend is certainly...excitable." Weiss had written about Nora in her letters, but Nora was much more hyper in real life.

"Hey, you got to love Nora, we all go a little bit..." He trailed off as he gave a creepy grin.

" _Craaazzzzy_ sometimes." He emphasized the crazy bit.

"If you're trying to be intimidating, you might as well be a puppy trying to fight a bear." She said as she had faced much, MUCH worse in basic training.

"Eh, it was worth a shot." He said as he got up and stretched.

Winter took a look at his muscles from behind. In all honesty, once again he looked like a swimmer, not overly bulky, but built for speed, she was pleasantly surprised, but for some reason, she saw a scar on the top of his skull that was honestly bugging her.

"Jerry..." She said as Jeremiah groaned.

"Please...Please don't call me that." He said as Winter raised a brow.

"Why do you hate that nickname?" That honestly caught her curiousity.

"Lets just say I had a personal run in with Jerry Seinfeld that left a bad impression on me, so now I hate being called Jerry." Jeremiah said as he had a personal dislike for Jerry Seinfeld, for reasons that would be known only to him.

"I'm not even going to ask, but what about the scar on your head?" She asked as he patted his skull.

"Oh that, bottle crashed on my head." He said as Winter had a feeling she knew what was going on.

"Oh I see, let me guess, bar fight?" She already knew the answer to this one.

"Eh, no...not even close." Okay, that was shocking.

"Well, when I was a kid, we bought IBC root beer, you know the glass bottle root beer? Yeah the good stuff, and one day I decided to tempt Gravity, so I started throwing an empty root beer bottle in the air." Okay, she had a feeling this was not going to end well.

"What happened?" She asked even though she had a feeling she didn't want to know.

"Well...I started running around like a crazy person for some reason waiting for it to come back down...and it landed on my head and cut open the skin, apparently there was a lot of blood, I don't really remember much after that, I remember waking up with staples in my head..." He said as he felt the scar on his head.

"...You're an idiot." If she had pulled something like that when she was a kid, her father would have been serious.

"I know, it was stupid, but hey, I NEVER did that again! Same way I learned not to touch a hot stove, only need to make that mistake once!" Jeremiah knew that was his Dad's parenting style.

Let your kids get hurt doing the small things, and they don't grow up to do stupid things. For example, learning that a hot stove burns and hurts you, was a great learning experience for young Jeremiah, and he never touched anything glowing hot again! **(1)**

"I'm starting to see why you are the way you are." Winter said as that might explain the possible brain damage.

"Nope! I was like this as a kid too! Well, minus the drinking." He said as he opened up his flask full of Moonshine.

"Nope." She said as she took it away.

"But Winterrrrr, I haven't drank anything, you promised I could have some!" He said as she sighed.

"I meant wine, not the illegal stuff you brew in your basement." She said as she knew that his dad was running a boot legging operation.

Well, he was getting a permit to make the stuff, so maybe it wasn't boot legging? She honestly didn't know.

"Anyways, we should go get some breakfast before Nora eats it all." Jeremiah said as he changed out of his pyjama pants into his dark blue jeans.

"You don't really think she could eat all of it? I saw how your grandmother cooks." She said as she didn't think they had to worry about starving any time soon.

"If we're going hiking, chances are she's not going to cook as much, so we should really hurry." Jeremiah said as he put on a work shirt.

"Okay, point taken." She said as she changed into a pair of white shorts and hiking boots.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE IN AMERICAAAA!**

"So...Mr. Torchwick, what were you doing in our house?" Dale said as he was sharpening a bowie knife.

"Uh, please excuse me sir, me and my...DAUGHTER, were just looking for a place to stay!" Roman was honestly intimidated by this guy.

The man had a throw rug of a grizzly bear, and he even had a video taken on a go pro from when he fought it himself...No gun...he just stabbed it with a spoon over and over again until it died. There was no way that seemed possible, but one thing was for sure, you didn't want to mess with anyone who could pull that crazy shit off.

"And why should I believe she's your daughter?" Momma was holding Neo on her lap as Neo was eating from a giant Neapolitan ice cream cone.

 _"I...LOVE this place."_ Neo had never seen an ice cream cone this big!

She could barely fit the cone in her hand! And don't even get her started on the foot of ice cream towering from the cone. And if that wasn't crazy enough, this was her THIRD one. Yeah, she was sad when they had to leave the ice cream station, but one thing was also for sure, before they went home, ROMAN WOULD TAKE HER THERE AGAIN!

"And you figured breaking into our house was the right thing to do? Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?" Dale said as he kissed a cross around his neck.

"Er, no, this is not where I want to be when Jesus comes back, but please sir, look at the state of our clothes, surely you would take pity on such a poor man?" That was technically the truth.

They had been blown here by an explosion, which is why their clothes looked so torn and ash covered, so it was at least believable that they were bums.

"I don't know..." Dale didn't trust him. But then again, he had been torturing the man in his basement, so maybe letting him go wasn't a good idea.

"Slow down Neo, or you'll get a stomach ache." Momma said as Neo was happily enjoying her ice cream.

 _"If only they knew how much of a psycho she was..."_ Roman thought as the happy smile on Neo's face did not look like, as it was full of wonder and childlike enthusiasm, where as her smile was usually full of sadism and pissed off midget rage.

"I suppose, if Neo tells me the truth, then I can maybe let you stay here for awhile..." He said as he put his knife back into his sheath.

"Well Neo, is this guy your daddy?" Dale asked as Neo nodded.

 _"I wouldn't call him my father! He's just my boss! But if getting more ice cream means pretending he's my father, then hell yeah!"_ Seriously, at this point, she just wanted to be well fed until they found a way home.

"BUT! Since I don't trust you..." Dale quickly fastened something around Torchwick's neck.

"HEY! WHAT IS THIS?!" He said as he noticed it was some sort of strap.

"That's Zeus's old shock collar, we used to have it to help him behave, but we deemed it too cruel to use on him." Dale said as he held the remote.

"WOOF!" Zeus gave out a bark of approval.

 _"You're telling me! That thing hurt so bad I could feel my balls vibrating for weeks! Do you know how weird tingly balls feel? Well it sucks!"_ Zeus thought as he was glad it was happening to Torchwick and not him.

"Okay, that's just ridiculouUUUUSSSSSS!" Torchwick was cut off by the electric shock.

"Sit boy!" Momma made an Inuyasha reference.

 _"I LOVE this place."_ Neo honestly couldn't remember a time she found something this funny.

 _"I HATE this place."_ Roman thought to himself.

Seriously? Why did Neo get all the luck?! If only he was small, and cute, and cuddly.

"Until then, you'll stay in the basement, Neo, you can use one of my son's bedrooms until he gets back." He said referring to his eldest son's room.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE BACK IN REMNANT**

"How is there not a way to bring them back yet?" Ironwood asked as he sent one of his best soldiers to retrieve them.

"James, this takes time, you know we only had a small sample to send Ms. Schnee through, we still need to work on cultivating the rest." Ozpin said as he sipped his coffee mug.

"I don't like leaving them in that world for too long, those two teams are some of the best your academy has to offer, and Ms. Schnee plays an important role in the Atlesian military, we can't just leave them stranded!" Ironwood did not like the fact that they had been gone for so long.

"I am certain we will retrieve them as early as we can. Until then we have to be patient." Ozpin didn't know what else to say.

"How did Qrow react to his nieces being stuck in another world?" Goodwitch asked as Ozpin sighed.

"Took everything I had not to send HIM there instead of Miss Schnee, I had to remind him of his mission." Ozpin had never seen Qrow so worried before. Granted, it was easy to help convince him to stay in the field.

"For the best, can you imagine the trouble Qrow could cause in another world?" Ironwood said as Qrow was known for getting into hairy situations.

"Be that as it may, he is more useful to us in the field, luckily Taiyang was easier to calm down, but only because he has full trust of the staff at beacon." Goodwitch once again had to deal with a paranoid father figure.

But the worst was dealing with Jacque's Schnee, the arrogant prick, he may not have talked to his daughter, but when he was informed his Daughter was sent to another world entirely, he wanted to capitalize it, it even got to the point where General Ironwood had to keep watch of the CEO at all times to make sure he didn't blab that information to the media.

"I just can't believe this, dust that can transport someone to another world? How is that even possible?" Ironwood was skeptical of the idea at first. But when they first tested out a sample of it and sent a recon drone through, they couldn't believe what they found.

Wherever Teams RWBY and JNPR had ended up, it wasn't Remnant. The drone managed to transmit data before self destructing to avoid discovery.

They saw skyscrapers taller than the tower of Beacon, they saw armies larger than anything Remnant had ever seen, the whole planet seemed populated by humankind, as there didn't seem to be a single Faunus around. But what really got to them, was just how...Barbaric this world could be.

The drone managed to transmit data of the new planet's history, and General Ironwood would say that it even made him green. Two world wars that made their great war seem like a small skirmish. And that wasn't even taking into account the multiple terrorist groups, and cities overtaken by crime and gangs in all parts of the planet. Whatever this world was, it was highly dangerous.

Ozpin didn't seem afraid though, mostly because if this world was anything like theirs, it had its fair share of bloody history, but also a history of saints among the sinners.

He just hoped that whoever found Team RWBY and JNPR, and now Ms. Schnee, was one of the saints, and not one of the sinners.

* * *

 **(1) The root beer bottle story is actually true, I don't remember why I thought it was a bright idea, but only made that mistake once. Also that is how I learned, get hurt doing something, remember the pain, never do that shit again!**


	32. Short Filler

**Okay, so why am I updating faster, because I love writing this story. And because I have a few surprise in store for the sequel.**

* * *

 **ITALY**

"Come on guys!" Jeremiah and Grandmama were calling out from ahead on the trail.

"H-How are they farther ahead on this trail than us?" Ruby said as she was out of breath as they were hiking outside of Rome.

"W-We have Aura, we train for combat, and yet a man without Aura, and an old lady are somehow beating us in a test of endurance?" Yang couldn't believe it.

"They must be part mountain goat!" Nora said as she felt energetic, but she was staying behind with Ren.

"Don't be ridiculous." Ren was remaining stoic as always. He honestly just wanted to sleep.

He liked hiking, but this was like an extended vacation for him, which meant more time to sleep. But of course, Nora woke him up so they could go hiking. It was a miracle she wasn't riding him like a pony. Because she had done that a few times when she was excited to go to different places. Just hop on his back and yell 'Giddy up'. It did kind of annoy him, but he did do things to make Nora happy. Boy, the things he did to keep her happy.

Winter meanwhile was currently trying to keep pace with Jeremiah and Grandmama. She was more used to hiking rough terrain than the other two teams, mostly because she had been on similar training exercises back home. But still though, she was surprised at the rate those two were going? Why were they going so fast? And how were they going so fast?

She turned a corner to see that Jeremiah was sitting down looking over the horizon.

"Beautiful isn't it?" He asked as he was taking pictures with a nikon.

"An actual camera? Doesn't everyone use their phones these days?" She asked as she sat down next to him.

"Winter, some things in life are just inherently good, and despite it being conveniant having a camera phone, you can't beat the real thing, besides as much as I love my phone, I also love the idea of having an actual photo album to place photographs in and go through when I'm old and sitting on the porch yelling at teenagers with my dog and a shotgun." He said as Winter just gave him a weird look.

"That's...oddly specific." She honestly didn't know why he said that.

"Hey, I already don't like people my own age, just imagine what I'll be like when I'm an elderly person." He said as he continued to imagine it.

"Well, you already have the hair for one." She slapped her hands to her mouth.

"Oh, how your words wound me your highness!" He mocked a heart attack and chuckled.

"Hey, some people in this world would think your silver hair would mean being old, but we know that isn't the case." He said pointing to her hair.

"Don't you know better than to insult a lady's hair?" She jousted back.

"You do realize I'm the same guy who thought it was a bright idea to fire a howitzer at a gun range next to a pissed off old guy right?" Jeremiah reminded her of their little contest.

"I still think you cheated..." She was still sore over that.

"Hey, you know what you said, you said I could use 'Any weapon' I wanted. I merely took you up on that offer." He joked along with her.

"I want a rematch." She said as she knew she would beat him.

"Yeah sure, when we get back to the states." He said as she looked over the sights with him.

"How long do we have in this country?" She asked as she didn't really want to leave, but she wanted to know how long they had together.

"Well, about two days, and then we make a quick trip to Athens, and then back to the states." He said as she looked at him.

"Athens? In Greece?" Why would they be going there.

"Oh yeah, Pyrrha mentioned something about being interested in Greek history, so Grandmama decided to make it a part of the trip." Winter just rolled her eyes at that.

Of course his Grandmama would do that, the woman was like a saint, she mentioned that she liked Baked Alaska one time, and Grandmama had spent hours perfecting a recipe just to serve it to Winter. Winter never felt so touched in her life. Especially since this was a woman who barely knew her. But was already treating her like part of the family.

"Hey Jerry! Where's Grandma?" Nora asked as Jerry groaned.

"Why do you let her call you that and not me?" Winter honestly didn't see why.

"Because Nora has officially made herself my unofficial annoying little sister, she gets away with that." Jeremiah said as Nora skipped by.

"And she's up there." He said pointing to a large pile of rocks.

"How did she get up there?! She's 90 years old for Oum's sake!" Weiss said as no elderly person should be climbing rocks like that.

"Age is just a number to her, you think thats bad, I saw her enter in a demo derby one time at the local fair." That was a funny memory.

Grandmama wasn't hurt, but damn if she didn't try. She ended up just wrecking her car and having a lot of fun, but she didn't get injured at all. It was almost like his Grandmother got high off of cheating death and possible bodily injury.

"You kids, come on! Don't let the elderly beat you!" Grandmama took off again.

"I swear, if I'm anything like my Grandmother when I'm old, I'll be one crazy person." Jeremiah said as Winter tried to imagine that.

She imagined Jeremiah sitting on his front porch as he described, a dog by his side, a shotgun in his lap, and Winter sitting right next to him with her rifle and...WAIT WHAT?! She was pretty sure that was not how he described it. She wasn't even in his description, at no point did he even mention a wife life figure. So why did she think of herself sitting next to him.

"Oh Winny! Looks like you're thinking!" Nora said as she was hanging from a ledge like a sloth.

"Wh-...How are you?" Winter looked up to see Nora had hooked her toes onto the ledge.

"You're thinking about Jerry!" Nora said with a 'Know it all' tone.

"I was not!" Winter tried to deny it, Jeremiah was up ahead and couldn't hear the conversation.

"You were!" Nora said as she poked Winter's nose.

"Awww, where you thinking about how much you want to kissy kissy?" Nora had to dodge a swipe.

"NORA!" Winter honestly could see why she was now the unofficial annoying little sister.

"WOOP WOOP WOOP!" Nora ran away.

"Oum Damn it." Winter wiped the sweat from her brow.

Unbeknownst to her, Jeremiah was dealing with a similar situation.

"Why don't you just go and tell her how you feel already?" Jaune had caught up to Jeremiah just to tell him of the escalating romantic tension between Winter and him.

"We're just friends Jaune, we tell each other things." Jeremiah said as Jaune groaned.

 _"Jesus, was this what it was like when Pyrrha was dealing with me? Damn, no wonder she was so annoyed with me at times."_ Jaune thought to himself, as this was just irritating to deal with.

He could spell it out to Jeremiah, and he still wouldn't get it.

"Friends don't stare into each other's eyes and talk about their futures." Jaune said as there was clearly something more than friendship.

"Look, I don't even know if Winter likes me like that, besides, she's a high society girl, and I'm...well, I find it fun to poke a stick into a mud puddle over and over again." Jeremiah said as Mud was his favorite toy as a kid.

 _"Oum help me! What do we have to do? We even forced them to kiss, and they still don't get it?!"_ Jaune had never felt this annoyed in his life.

Operation Fire and Ice was not going as planned.

* * *

 **BACK IN THE STATES**

"So uhm, this is a lovely meal you prepared." Roman said as he looked down at a large flank steak cooked rare.

"Well, go on, eat." Dale said as he was cutting into his own.

"Isn't this kind of...big for one person?" Roman said as he swore to god, this thing was ginormous.

"Oh come on, even little Neo is eating her steak like a grown up." Dale pointed to Neo who was enjoying her steak.

 _"Great, now if I don't eat it, I look like a wuss."_ Roman said as he started cutting into it.

And then he started reaching for the steak sauce.

"HERGGEGHEH" He felt the shock collar go off again.

"What the hell was that for?!" He yelled as he didn't do anything wrong.

"What? You don't think the steak was good as it was? I worked hard grilling that, do you know how much of a pain it is to grill in negative temperatures?" Dale said as he was testing Roman.

"If you didn't want me to use Steak sauce, why did you put out a bottle of steak sauce?!" Roman didn't understand his reasoning.

"To test you, and you failed." Dale said as he went back to eating his steak.

"Wait, tests? I have to pass tests?" Roman couldn't freaking believe it.

"Of course." Dale thought it was obvious.

"Neo didn't have to pass any!" He pointed out.

"Once again, she's cute, you're not!" Dale said as he patted Neo on the head.

 _"I swear to Oum, I don't think I will ever go hungry again after this."_ Neo couldn't believe the amount of food she was looking at right now.

 _"Okay, I need to think, change the subject."_ He looked around for anything to get on Dale's good side.

"So uh, thats a nice family portrait you got there." He said pointing to a picture of Dale, his wife, his two sons, and his daughter.

"Thank you." Dale said in a polite tone, Roman breathed a sigh of relief in his head.

"So who is the funny looking one in the middle?" Roman said looking at a bald guy.

"That is my son Jeremiah, but he's in Rome now with his friends." Momma said as she was eating her steak faster than Roman.

"That must be nice." Roman thought he was suceeding in having a polite conversation.

"Yeah, too bad, I was really enjoying having them around." Momma said as she got a ring on her phone.

"Oh, Grandmama just sent us a picture message." She said as she showed Dale the phone.

"Aww, thats cute, how about that Little Neo?" Dale said as Neo was scooting over to take a look at the phone.

Only for her face to go pale, and she started to sweat a bit.

"Oh no, Neo? Are you okay? Oh you must be getting sick, Dale, I knew you shouldn't have had her out in the cold with you!" Momma argued as Dale shrugged.

"She wanted to watch me grill." He replied as calmly as possible.

 _"ROMAN! WE'RE IN TROUBLE!"_ Neo furiously signed as Roman couldn't understand why his partner was freaking out so much.

"Geez, well here is my son now." Dale said as he showed Torchwick the phone.

Okay, its the bald guy and...WAIT!

Roman suddenly saw what made Neo worried, because right next to Dale's son, he saw nine familiar faces, one of them being Winter Schnee, a highly trained combatant in the Atlesian army, but there was one, ONE THAT REALLY MADE HIM STAND AT ATTENTION.

"Little red...little red..." He said to himself.

Little red was here...and he was unarmed...and forced to wear a shock collar.

"I'm screwed." He said to himself.

Not only was she here, so was her team, her friend's team, and a highly trained soldier.

Why did the universe hate him?


	33. Troubles

**I swear to god, I would have to cut out my new PS4 entirely, because I have sat in front of that thing for who knows how long, I'm only getting around to writing one chapter a day. Oh no!**

* * *

"So this is Athens." Pyrrha was honestly impressed.

While the city had gone through some modernization, the historic markers of the ancient greeks were ever prevalent. It was actually amazing. And for once, she felt at home somewhere. After Jeremiah mentioned she was based off of the Ancient Greek Hero Achilles, she tried to read up on everything from Greek Mythology to Greek History. Needless to say, it was a fascinating, if not bloody era.

She still didn't see why competitors in the ancient olympic games fought naked, like, how do you take your opponent seriously? She couldn't imagine what would happen if that was how the tournaments she fought in were held. She actually shivered at that, that was not something she wanted to think about.

"Yep, its like going through a time machine." Jeremiah said as he came back with Gyros.

"Where did you get those?" Weiss asked as he was only gone for a minute.

"This is Greece, there's a Gyro stand on every corner." He said as Winter gave him a look.

"Do you really think you should stereotype like that?" Winter asked as she didn't want to risk pissing the wrong person off.

"Oh, its not a stereotype." He said as he pointed to all the Gyro stands surrounding the area they were in.

"HOLY SHIT!" Jaune said as he noticed the hordes.

"What the heck? Why does anyone need this many Gyro stands?" Ruby honestly couldn't see the point, then again...when she was a kid, she imagined how cool it would be if there was a dispenser for cookies and strawberries on every street corner, so maybe she shouldn't talk.

"Because Gyros are delicious." He said as he took a bite out of one.

"Wait, aren't those made with Mutton? I thought you hated mutton because you felt guilty for eating sheep?" Winter honestly didn't understand that one.

"No, I still eat mutton, its just since I held a lamb one time, I feel guilty every time I eat it." He said as he remembered one time he saw the cutest lamb ever, and later it turns out he actually ate the same one.

Funny, no other meat made him feel guilty for eating it. He didn't know why it was just lamb. Pig? Delicious and no guilt. Cow? Delicious and definately no guilt. Mutton? Delicious and you feel like you kicked a puppy afterwards.

"Well, he's not wrong." Ruby pointed out.

"Why didn't you just go vegan if it bothers you?" Blake asked as you could hear a pin drop.

"We...do...not...use...that...CURSED...WORD!" Jeremiah said as hearing that word actually caused him mental anguish.

"You don't like vegans?" Blake didn't think he would be this weird over it.

"No, I don't. Well, I like the ones like Weird Al who don't try to shove it down your throat, but the ones who never EVER shut up about it, and call you a murderer for eating eat, My hatred of those vegans outweighs the guilt of eating lamb." He said as he greedily tore into the mutton gyro.

"You have issues." Weiss said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey, you deal with the vegans I see at university, you would feel the same way." He said as he got irritated at those people.

Seriously, couldn't he just enjoy a calorie filled, heart attack inducing, high cholesterol, Bacon Double Cheeseburger without getting the book thrown at him?

"Can we talk about something else?" Pyrrha asked as he really wanted to check out the city.

"Well, why don't we all go here!" Nora said pointing to the place on the map.

Jeremiah blushed as he noticed where she was pointing.

"Uh, Nora, you do know what that is right?" Jeremiah pointed at he map.

"Says here it is the temple of Aphrodite Urania or something! Looks cool!" She said as Jeremiah resisted the urge to chuckle.

"Nora, do you...know what Aphrodite was the goddess of?" Jeremiah honestly wanted to know.

"Nope!" She was completely clueless, but Pyrrha was looking through her book.

"Says here she was the goddess of love..." That didn't sound so bad.

"LET'S GO!" Nora said as she dragged Ren along.

"...And...And...Oh...Oh my..." Pyrrha said as she suddenly saw why Jeremiah was acting so weird.

To sum it all up, Aphrodite was basically the goddess of Love, Beauty, and above all else, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX!

No wonder Jeremiah looked so awkward.

"Uh, I'm not going there, how about we let Ren and Nora have this one?" Grandmama said as the group nodded.

"So where to now?" Jaune asked as this was a new city and country.

"How about to the Acropolis?" Pyrrha suggested as she could see it from where they were standing, but she wanted to stand in it.

"Sounds good to me, is anyone else worried about Ren and Nora?" Jeremiah asked as Nora did seem eager to go with Ren to the temple.

"Relax, Nora knows its just a temple, besides she's probably just going there to bond with Ren." Ruby said as she now munching on a Gyro.

"Okay, lets just hope they don't cause too much Chaos." Jeremiah wasn't really worried this time.

They had been in Rome for about a week, and nothing bad had happened, except for his Grandmother punching an old pervert. But that wasn't the point. The point was that overall, Nora hadn't caused any significant damage to anything so far. So he was feeling pretty good about this.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE IN AMERICA**

 _"We're in trouble!"_ Neo was currently pacing back in forth in front of Roman who was chained to a wall.

Yeah, as it turns out, Momma and Dale still didn't trust Roman by himself, so they got an old dog leash and put it around his shock collar and tied him to the wall to keep him from moving, and they gave Neo the remote to his shock collar, just in case he misbehaved. Roman in the meantime was being as NICE as he could possibly be, as he didn't want to risk pissing Neo off.

"Just calm down Neo." In hindsight, he should know that asking a woman to calm down never works.

 _"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! Our enemies are here in this same world, one of which has a grudge against me for beating her in a fight, another who has humiliated you on multiple occassions, and seven people to back them up! One of them being a highly trained Atlesian soldier! And if that wasn't crazy enough we are also unarmed, and currently held captive by regular civilians who at this point have been kicking the hell out of you, and treating me like a little girl!"_ Neo had never used sign language that fast or that much in her life.

"Look, I'm certain we'll be out of here before they get back." He honestly didn't know what else to say.

 _"You just don't get it do you? We can't leave! You told them we were homeless, so we just can't pick up and go, otherwise they'll come looking for me!"_ She signed as Roman raised an eyebrow.

"Why just you?" What made her so important?

 _"Duuuuuh! According to them, I'm just a helpless child! One who would not be suited for traveling with a beat up homeless guy who looks like something out of a clockwork orange!"_ Okay, that joke didn't make any sense to Roman.

"The hell is A clockwork orange?" Seriously, he had never heard of that.

 _"It's some movie I was watching late last night when Momma and Pa went to bed. The point is that we can't just leave, but we can't stay here either! Do you know what this means?!"_ She was now glaring at him as he was sweating bullets.

"Uhm, we could get kill-" He was about to finish until she cut him off.

 _"No more food for me! No more nice warm bed! No more trips to the ice cream station!_ _No more sleeping in a nice house for a change, and back to waiting for our next job!"_ Roman deadpanned at his partner.

"You know, I think living her too long spoiled you..." He honestly couldn't believe Neo was acting like a child.

 _"Well excuse me for appreciating the finer things in life considering that one time we had to sleep in a barn and cuddle together for warmth just to hide from the authorities! Do you know how bad you smell? We were right above a pig pen, and you honestly smelled worse than the pigs!"_ Okay that was kind of a low blow.

"Well excuse me Princess! We don't exactly get time to shower when we're ON THE RUN FROM THE LAW!" Unforturnately that yell got him a shock from his collar.

"OW! OW! OW! OW!" Seriously, he should have known better then to yell.

 _"The point is, it would be nice to actually have somewhere nice to go to! I like it here..."_ Oh great, Neo was getting attached to those two nutbags who lived in this house.

"Well, Neo we can't stay here, we have to-" Roman was cut off by Neo.

 _"What if we kill both Teams?! We can make it look like an accident! Then we won't be discovered!"_ Neo suggested as Roman was a bit disturbed at how she came to that solution.

"Er, I doubt that we will get away with killing their sons friends..." Roman stated as Neo huffed.

 _"Well it was worth a shot..."_ She pouted as she crossed her legs and sat on the floor.

"Well, good to see you're still a bit of a psychopath." Roman muttered under his breath.

 _"Well, I don't want to go!"_ Neo looked him in the eyes.

"And I don't want to stay!" He glared right back at him.

 _"So we're staying."_ She signed as she walked away.

"W-WHAT?! I said No!" He yelled as she smirked.

 _"Which means I say Yes, which means we're staying."_ She stuck her tongue out at him.

"You can't just dictate what we do!" He said as he got another shock.

 _"Let's get one thing straight Roman, back home, I listen to you, I work for you, I follow your orders, but that's Remnant, and this is Planet Ice Cream, you know what that means? I have the power! I am God! AND YOU are my...BITCH!"_ Neo now had a sadistic smirk on her face.

Her threat would have been much more intimidating if she wasn't wearing a shirt with a kitten on it saying 'More hugs please?'

"Well I think-" He was cut off by a more powerful electric shock going through his body.

 _"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!"_ In her head, Neo was cackling like a witch.

"You got to be kidding me, that insane couple gets the sweet and happy Neo, and I get a hell beast bent on making my life miserable, I said it once and I'll say it again..." Roman made sure that Neo had left the room.

"I HATE THIS PLACE." He muttered as Zeus came by and sat down in front of him.

"What do you want dumb dog?" The dog just stared at him with a dopey look on his face.

"What?" Roman didn't know what was wrong with the dog.

"WOOF!" The dog proceeded to tackle him and lick him all over.

"HEY! HEY! GET OFF!" Roman didn't want to feel any puppy love.

 _"FUNNY ORANGE MAN LOOKS SAD! I WILL CHEER HIM UP!"_ That was the only thing going through Zeus's mind.

And right now Roman was being smothered by about 100 to 200 pounds of pure fluffiness.

"Stop! I don't want it!" He said as he couldn't get away.

 _"LET ME LOVE YOU!"_ Zeus thought as he tried to cuddle up with Roman.

Black haired lady who smelled like cats wasn't here for him to sleep next to. His master/best friend/bacon buddy/favorite human was not around for him to play with. Neither was the woman he was sure to mate with, and neither was her younger sister who spoiled him with treats. Or the cute red and black haired girl who would play fetch with him, oh but he saw through her wicked tricks! He knew she hid that stick behind her back! He would not fall for that trick twice! Well...okay, he fell for it five times, but NEVER AGAIN!

Anyways, after a while, He gave up trying to love Roman, so he decided to walk away.

 _"If funny orange man won't let me love him...who will?"_ Zeus thought as he looked around.

Only to see that his Master/Best friend/Bacon Buddy/favorite human's bedroom door was open. WAS HE HOME?! Zeus ran up the stairs only to find the multi haired colored girl from before. She seemed to be cold, as all the blankets were currently in the wash.

"WOOF!" Zeus barked as he got Neo's attention.

Neo obviously couldn't speak, so she didn't know how to respond to the dog.

 _"What do you want?"_ She asked as she just really wanted a blanket.

" _I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE COLD!"_ Zeus than proceeded to love tackle Neo onto the bed.

 _"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_ Neo couldn't really fight back.

After all, the dog did weigh more than her, so he had the weight advantage.

 _"GET OFF ME YOU STU...Pid...Dog..."_ Suddenly she felt something.

Warmth, and lots of it. Shes topped struggling and she noticed that the dog was acting as a blanket. He saw her shivering and decided to help, Neo had to admit, that was very sweet, and she really appreciated it. Sighing, she patted his head a bit as she laid down.

 _"Oh well, I suppose he's not so bad."_ Neo thought as she wrapped her arms around the dog and went to sleep.

Later Momma and Pa were come back home and take a picture because it was just so ADORABLE! **(1)**

* * *

 **(1) My dog has actually done this on multiple occassions, if he sees you shivering, he will cuddle up to you to warm you up, hell sometimes he'll even give you his stuffed hedgehog toy to make you feel better. It's amazing**


	34. Operation Hammertime and Neo's fate

**Okay, so chapter 34, here we go  
**

* * *

"It's amazing." Pyrrha said as she had never seen such a magnificent structure in her life.

Sure she had seen Rome, but this was different, this was technically something from her culture. A culture she didn't even know she belonged to. And it was just utterly breathtaking. Back in Remnant, most builders used the latest technology to help them create structures. But here, all they had was the seed of their own wit, and their bare hands. And they did all of this just with the bare necessities. It was truly the mark of a tough race of people. And based on all the philosophy she had read, and all the historical figures she had studied, it was a place of knowledge as well as combat. Which fit her to a tee.

She had been bred into tournament combat since she could walk, but one thing her parents also had her do was study books, as one could not be weak in mind while being strong in body. There had to be a balance, and that was also what she saw here. A society which valued strength and knowledge, and you were well off if you were both. It was just fascinating to her.

"How many of those have you eaten?" Winter asked Jeremiah as he reached for another Gyro in his Gyro bag.

"Lost count, maybe ten?" He said as he offered Winter one.

"How can you eat that much?" She asked as she took a bite out of hers.

"Well, I still have a hearty metabolism, not as good as Nora's but still pretty good. Plus all this walking and hiking we have been doing has helped burn calories, makes me hungry for more." He said as he took another bite.

"Well save some for us." She said as he had just been popping those like skittles.

"I am, I am." He said as he bought plenty for everyone.

Especially since Nora had taken a hearty supply with her to the Temple of Aphrodite.

"So how do you think they're doing?" Jaune asked as he was taking photos.

"Eh, they're probably fine." Winter honestly wasn't sure though.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE AT THE TEMPLE.**

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe this!" Nora was pacing back and forth with a nervous look on her face.

"Nora..." Ren tried to say but Nora was worried.

"I thought this place would be nice since she was the goddess of love, but I didn't realize she was also the goddess of of...of THAT!" Nora yelled out as onlookers were wondering what got into her, and why she looked like someone kicked her puppy.

In truth, Nora was actually trying to be nice and do something she saw as Romantic, maybe if she made the first move, maybe that would help seal the deal on their relationship. However, it was only after they had gotten to the temple, and learned that Aphrodite was also the goddess of procreation, did Nora suddenly feel bad and cheap. She wanted to do something nice, not make Ren think of her as some cheap harlot. And now she was worried that he would.

"I mean! I didn't plan this! I heard she was the goddess of love, and I figured that would be nice, but now she's also the goddess of this and that, and now I'm worried that you'll think of me as one of those...'girls' from the school that get around, but I'm really not, and I don't plan on being, and I just wish I could take this mistake back-" Nora continued to ramble on and on at fast speeds.

"Nora..." Ren was once again trying to speak.

"And all of a sudden it just all seems pointless, I mean even Winny and Jerry actually realizing their feelings for each other has a higher chance of happening now, oh why didn't I read more on this place before I dragged you here, oh god I dragged you here, oh no, this is not good, not good at all!" Nora just kept worrying herself more and more.

"Nora..." Ren honestly didn't know how to stop her.

He even tried waving a bottle of canadian maple syrup in front of her face, and she didn't even flinch, THAT was how bad it had gotten with her. So how did he get her to shut up?

"Oh, I just want to go back to the hotel room and cr-" Finally Nora felt something.

Or rather someone else's lips pressing up to hers. Her eyes opened to see that Ren had actually gone in for the kiss. Nora's eyes went wide at first, but slowly they began to close, and she put a hand to Ren's head as she deepened the kiss. Okay, now that was not supposed to happen, in fact she never even expected that would happen. Why was this happening? Granted she wasn't complaining, but wow.

"Nora, its okay, you made a mistake, it happens." Ren was trying to get her to calm down. And just did the first thing that came to mind.

However, Nora was now unresponsive, staring off into space. She was never silent for more than thirty seconds, and Ren was timing her to make sure that she was going to be okay. But after she was silent for more than a minute, he started to get worried.

"Nora?" He asked as he snapped a finger in front of her face.

And then a spark in Nora's eyes appeared, and her face grew redder, and redder, and redder. Until...

 **MEANWHILE IN REMNANT**

"WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!" A happy voice called out as Ozpin and Glynda looked up.

"What….was…..that?" Glynda asked as Ozpin looked up from his mug.

"At best, I think someone just won the lottery." He went straight back to his coffee.

* * *

 **BACK IN GREECE**

"AH! MY EARS!" Jeremiah and his group were currently covering their ears.

"That sounded like Nora!" Ruby said as Grandmama was laughing.

" _Operation Hammetime was a success!"_ She cackled evilly in her mind as she knew that It was all coming together.

Now all she needed was for Winter and Jeremiah to FINALLY GET TOGETHER?! Seriously?! Did no one else see the tension those two were creating?! It was driving her crazy that those two were getting closer and closer, but neither one had realized their own feelings, or worse yet, she had heard those two voicing their thoughts when they thought they were alone, and it was obvious both cared for the other, but each one also said 'There is no way he/she would be into me.' Seriously?! She could understand that coming from Jeremiah, but Winter? Come on, she seemed to be more confident than he was?

No offense to her Grandson, but when it came to women, he couldn't flirt for shit. Even though he tried to, most of the time his flirting ended up making a conversation awkward. But surprisingly, he hadn't had that problem as much with Winter.

Granted it may have been because he was sober, and could actually think clearly, but that was besides the point. The point was that two people who came from very different backgrounds were actually bonding, and they were getting along! It was a wonderful thing! And it frustrated her that those two couldn't get together already.

I mean, they had known each other for a few weeks? She got married to her first husband before that! Granted, it was because she was a mail order bride from Italy, but that was besides the point! They fell in love easily, and they stay married till that old bastard croaked at the ripe age of 95. And even then his last words were.

" _Damn it, there goes my bucket list of making it to 100 years."_ Oh it was a sad event, but he decided to go out with a joke.

"Soooo, I'm guessing Ren and Nora are 'Together together' now?" Jeremiah asked as everyone thought it over.

"Yeah probably." There was no other way to put it.

Once you go past a certain point, you are together together, and based on Nora's happy yell, they were definitely together together. Why else would she be yelling like that? Unless she just got the keys to a Canadian maple syrup factory.

Jeremiah may not be the biggest fan of Canada, but even he had to admit, there were two things from Canada he liked, Maple Syrup and Georges St Pierre. Oh, and Canadian Bacon.

"So where to now?" Weiss asked as she was looking at the map.

"I don't know but-…wait where did Jaune and Pyrrha go?" Jeremiah was looking around and he didn't see them.

"They went to go check out the Panathenaic Stadium." Grandmama said as Jeremiah was worried for a second.

But then he remembered, this was Jaune and Pyrrha. What trouble could those two possibly get into? I mean, Pyrrha was a responsible adult, and Jaune was….Jaune. So what could go wrong? Even Ren and Nora were doing fine, and he was expecting Nora to destroy a city. But she hadn't, so what could possibly go wrong with Jaune and Pyrrha?

* * *

 **MEANWHILE IN AMERICA**

"I must say Mr. Torchwick, your behavior sure has improved lately." Momma said as Torchwick was now allowed to eat dinner with them again after his steak blunder.

"Gosh Golly Momma! It sure has!" Roman said in as cherry as a voice as he could muster.

Well, as much as he could with Neo holding a knife to his knee under the table.

" _You make Momma cry, say goodbye to your knees."_ Was what she warned him about before dinner.

And if the image of a girl wearing a poofy Lolita dress holding a knife was funny to you, let me tell you, it was a lot less funny when you could feel the knife digging into your leg. Neo had unforturnately developed a small case of Stockholm Syndrome, which wouldn't have been so bad, but the problem was that now she was acting a bit overprotective over her new family.

Especially that fluffy adorable dog who acted as her blanket, anyone hurt that dog, they were going to die.

"Care for a BLT?" Pa said as he handed Roman the ingredients.

" _Wait…hang on, last time he gave you a test, and you failed it by reaching for steak sauce, this must be another trick."_ Roman didn't want to risk getting it wrong and having Neo stab him.

She he went with a safe option.

He took the two pieces of toasted bread, and just lopped bacon on it, and made a bacon sandwich. And he took a huge bite out of it while looking Pa in the eyes.

"Hmmm, good, although to be honest, you could have put lettuce and tomato on it, I mean it is a BLT after all." Pa said as that wasn't actually a test, and literally was just dinner.

" _Oh come on!"_ Roman thought as he added lettuce and tomato to his sandwich.

"So Mr. Torchwich, how old is your daughter? I realize we never got around to asking that?" Momma asked as Neo suddenly looked panicked.

"Twelve!" That seemed to be a decent age to say.

It would explain her height, as she wasn't small enough to be younger than that, but she also didn't look tall enough to be older than that. So in that case, it seemed to be a nice cover for Neo.

"And what about school?" Momma said as Roman stopped eating.

"What about it?" He asked.

"Well, does she go to school?" Momma asked as Roman shook his head.

"No, we can't afford it." He was being honest, this world's currency was completely different, so they were broke.

"Well, I think I have a solution!" Momma said as Neo suddenly got worried.

"What do you mean?" He asked as Neo didn't look so good.

"Well, until you get back on your feet, I'm certain we can get your daughter a semester into the local elementary school." Momma said as Neo's eyes went wide, and she started to sweat.

" _THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDE-"_ She was cut off by Roman smiling.

"That would be lovely!" He said with a smile, but on the inside, he was laughing maniacally.

Neo just glared at him, but considering he made Momma smile, she couldn't stab him in the knee.

" _Roman…if I could talk to you for a second."_ She glared at her partner as he smirked triumphantly.

"I'll be back, seems Little Neo needs something." He said as he excused himself as politely as possible.

He still had the shock collar on, and Dale had the remote, thank god Neo didn't have it. Anyways, they walked into the other room as Roman looked down at his partner.

"Yeah, what do you wa-" He was cut off by getting a swift kick to the balls.

"OOOOOHHH!" He tried to tell but his mouth was covered by Neo.

" _WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"_ She signed aggressively as Roman resisted the urge to laugh.

"Well, you wanted me to keep our cover, and you wanted to stay, so might as well get used to having to go to school, young laaadddyyy." Neo REALLY wished she had the shock collar right now.

" _I AM A GROWN WOMAN! And you want me to go to school with a bunch of snot nosed brats?!"_ She was not happy at all.

She understood that because of her height and youthful appearance, people often thought she was younger than she was. But this…THIS WAS RIDICULOUS! She wasn't as pissed off by the fact that she would be going to school, as the fact that it was believable that she was attending elementary school.

"Well too bad, you're going to school." He smirked as he held his balls in pain.

" _One of these days, I am going to stab you."_ She signed as she walked back to the dinner table.

"Heh heh, one victory…." He said as he just curled up into the fetal position.

"But my balls…" He didn't think he had ever been kicked that hard in his life.


	35. A Date and Brother's Return

**So just got back from beers and liquor with a friend, we talked about everything ranging from sports to the current economic status of the united states and what stocks would be safe to invest in.**

 **Bottom line, we do weird profound shit when we drink.**

* * *

It was the day they flew back to the United States, after Jaune and Pyrrha had taken multiple photos and Pyrrha had bought a TON of souvenirs for the trip home. She said that the replica vases and various Greek artifacts would help liven up their dorm room a bit. Grandmama just went along with it as she was completely fine with them spending money as long as they didn't buy anything too crazy like a car, just small things they could take home.

For Pyrrha, it had been vases and various Greek artifacts.

For Jaune, they had made a quick detour to France when they were still in Italy, as it turned out, they could take a train and be in a different country within twelve hours, so Jaune had gotten to bring back numerous journals and Books on Joan of Arc, as well as visit where her remains were scattered in the Seine River.

Nora had found a comic book called THOR that she thoroughly enjoyed and bought out every issue of the comic book they had in a local comic book store.

Weiss bought an Italian rapier.

Winter found an Italian fencing dagger, as well as a dueling saber. She still had her weapons back home, but she was fascinated by this world's weapons, so she decided to bring another set home with her. Both were made out of high grade carbon steel, and could be used in combat, but she didn't think that would ever be necessary.

Ruby, well she was seen coming out of a bakery, so it was obvious what she got.

Blake had spent a good portion of her allowance at a local seafood restaurant, she had never been so content in her entire life.

Yang, well, she had spent her time and money at local Pankration classes, Pankration matches, as well as spending time at an Ancient Greek style training camp. It was quite the workout.

Ren actually saved up all of his money, since he could not think of anything he wanted, he had his friends, and apparently his new girlfriend, so he was content.

Speaking of which...

"I don't think those two have let go of each other's hands for the past hour." Winter said as Ren and Nora seemed perfectly happy holding hands.

"About time, do you know how irritating that is to watch people who love each other a lot just awkwardly tip toe around it?" Jeremiah asked as Winter nodded.

Meanwhile Jaune, Pyrrha, and the rest of the group had to resist the urge to facepalm at the irony. Seriously? They could understand Jeremiah being dense, but Winter too? How did this happen. Well with Jeremiah, he was dense, but also had the trust issues from previous relationships, Winter had the more denying she felt something for him problem. Either way, it was still irritating that they weren't together.

"Yeah...Yeah..." Pyrrha could not believe these two.

Did God send Winter and Jeremiah to torture them? If he did, then that was a real dick move.

"So, how did you get your sword past customs?" Jeremiah asked as somehow Winter grumbled.

"I didn't, they ended up mailing it to your address back in Illinois." She said as she didn't realize people were not allowed to carry weapons on planes.

Granted, she did find out there was a reason for it, but it was a bit of an adjustment from Remnant, which let you carried weapons on planes, there were some regulations, like any dust would have to be unloaded, and safety caps would have to be, but overall, no incidents had happened so far. Except for a woman on a plane who used a dust powered vib...on second though, she didn't want to remind herself of that.

"I bet Mom is going to love that." Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

His mother didn't like him buying swords or melee weapons, she never understood it, why go for bladed weapons when all people used were guns? And considering the fact that you couldn't walk down the street with a sword in public, they mostly became display pieces unless you were in HEMA. But Jeremiah saw it as collecting bits of history. Because you need to collect things, because someday it will all go away.

Some people call it Hoarding, but screw them.

"So, hard to believe it all passed by so quickly." Winter was trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, hard to believe alright." The time really did fly by.

 _"And so much changed for you two..."_ Everyone else thought as they were listening in on the 'Couples' conversation.

"So uh, Winter, is it alright if I ask you something?" Jeremiah scratched the back of his head.

"Sure." She tilted her head as she had no idea what he wanted to ask.

"You want to go out sometime? You know when we get back home?" He asked as everyone went silent as you could hear heads turning.

" _Did...Did he do it?"_ Everyone couldn't believe he actually asked her out without others telling him to.

"Are, Are you asking me on a date?" She was honestly surprised.

They had been on a date before, but it was mostly just for their cover, and it consisted of him going over how the restaurants steak was too small to be called a steak, and humiliating her at the gun range. But, was he actually asking for the GENUINE thing?

"Yes, Yes I am." He said as he got ready to take a swig of whiskey.

Only to Winter to snatch it out of his hands.

"Hey." He didn't know what else to say.

"I want you to be honest, and not just blame it on the alcohol, do you want to go on a date with me?" This time, she was the one asking.

" _Shit, shit, shit, shit, I didn't expect it to get this far!"_ Internally he was panicking.

His plan was simple, he decided to ask Winter out just to see what would happen, and then if her response was negative, then take a swig of whiskey, so she would assume that you were drinking, and that was the reason he asked. He didn't actually expect her to say anything other than No. So he couldn't blame it on the alcohol.

 _"Okay, fuck it, time to sack up."_ He thought to himself as he breathed out.

"Yes Ms. Schnee, I am asking you on a date." He said as everyone was staring at them.

 _"THIS IS HAPPENING!"_ Nora was yelling internally right now.

 _"How about that? Operation Fire and Ice may be a success after all."_ Grandmama thought as she saw Ruby eating cookies.

"Why does everyone look so weird?" She asked as she saw everyone looking very surprised.

"Short story, Winter took Jeremiah's flask after he asked her out on a date, to make sure he wasn't drinking when he asked her." Weiss said as Ruby stiffled a giggle.

"Whats so funny?" Weiss asked as she saw that Ruby and YANG surprisingly were giggling.

"We saw that happen before with Uncle Qrow, except it was at a restaurant, and he was hitting on a waitress, she took his flask away after he made a move on her, except in his situation, he also got a slap to the face." Ruby said as this was nothing new to her.

"You know Weiss, you're taking this awfully well, I mean don't you find it weird that your sister and Jerry are getting so close?" Yang brought up as Weiss suddenly had a realization.

Winter had been acting funny ever since she kissed Jeremiah, well, she heard that they kissed, because Jaune and Pyrrha had told them about it, and considering how both would look away with a blush when it was brought up, she assumed it was true. But wait, could Winter ACTUALLY have REAL feelings for him? She just went along with Grandmama's matchmaking because NEVER in a million years would she think that her Sister would EVER date Jeremiah.

But the looks, and the fact that she actually accepted his invitation on a date, she suddenly went pale.

 _"Oh no..."_ Once again, she had nothing against Jeremiah, but surely, Winter could do better? Right?

RIGHT?!

* * *

 **MEANWHILE IN AMERICA**

"OH! Aren't you just as cute as a button?!" Momma said as she was taking photos of Neo in her school outfit as Roman was in the background stifling laughter.

 _"Roman, I swear to Oum, when we get back to Remnant, I am going to castrate you with a rusty butter knife and feed your nuts to a squirrel grimm!"_ Neo was absolutely FUMING on the inside.

"Well doesn't my daughter look absolutely adorable?" Roman honestly had never felt this good about revenge in his life.

Neo was dressed in a cute Pink and baby blue dress, with some kind of weird white socks and little black shoes, overall, she looked like something out of a cartoon. And she absolutely hated this outfit. What only made it even worse was that Momma had done her hair up into pigtails, this was humiliating! As soon as she got to school, she was undoing her hair and letting her hair flow free.

"Wait! Lets take a picture or two!" Roman said once again as Neo gave him a glare that could kill.

"Here we go." Dale said as he gave a Polaroid camera to his wife, knowing it was not a good idea to get in between her and cute things.

"Okay Neo, give your dad a hug!" Momma said as Neo glared up at Roman.

"Come on _Sweetie."_ Roman had never felt this evil before, and it felt GOOD.

 _"You know, forget the butter knife, I'm going to castrate you with a nail file!"_ She begrudgingly gave him a hug for the photo.

FLASH

"There we go!" Momma said as she started to take the photo and shake it to get it to develop faster.

"Here you go Mr. Torchwick, that way you can remember this!" She said as Roman took it with a grin.

"Why thank you! I am certain I will look back on this _Memory_ forever and ever!" He had a shit eating grin on his face as Neo was tempted to give him the finger.

But of course, she couldn't do that, because she didn't want to disappoint Momma. Damn, sometimes she hated the woman for thinking she was too cute and innocent, it pissed her off. Even worse was that Pa didn't do anything to stop his wife, mostly because he knew he couldn't do anything to stop her, after all,

"Ma! Pa! I'm home!" They heard a voice call out.

Crap?! Was that their son and Teams RWBY and JNPR already?

"Oh! Jameson! Why didn't you tell us you were visiting!" Okay, that was a relief, they only heard one voice.

The saw a man come into the room, he seemed to be around twenty seven years old, his hair was thick and full, and fell to his face like he was an anime Character, his build was large and toned, he appeared to be around 6'4'', and the only bit of facial hair he had was a soul patch. Which usually would look douchey, but for some reason, he looked okay with it.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, after all, I've been in New York for so long working on my MD, I figured it would be great to come back and visit family." He said as he looked around.

"Where is Jeremiah?" He asked wondering where his little brother was.

"Oh, he should be back tonight, Grandmama took him to Italy." Momma said as Jameson mumbled.

"Oh sure, he's the one who gets to go to Italy." I guess that meant he lost the bet.

Jeremiah, Jameson, and his sister Sherry had been gambling over who Grandmama would finally take to Italy, and that lucky bastard actually won the bet. Now he owed him $500.

Meanwhile, Neo was looking at Jameson, his hair...his face...that muscular body...he was...dreamy, like his body was carved by the thunder god Thor himself, and his face taken from Adonis. He was so handsome! Roman saw Neo looking nervous all of a sudden.

"And who is this?" Jameson had to crouch down to look at Neo in the eyes.

"Oh! This is little Neo! She's Mr. Torchwicks daughter, he is staying here as our guest." Momma said as Jameson smiled at Neo.

"Well hey there, have you been giving my mom much trouble?" He asked as he patted her head.

 _"Ohhhh My gossshhh, his hand is as big as my head!"_ Neo couldn't believe this.

"Okay, Neo, that's enough, we have to get you to school." Oh Roman was going to have so much fun with this.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride." Dale said as he loaded up the 1970 Chevelle.

Jameson set his bag down on the table as he got bottle out of the fridge and began to drink.

"You know, there was something off about that little girl..." Jameson said as he took a sip of Strawberry Daiquiri.

Yes, he loved his girly drinks.

"What do you mean?" Momma said as she seemed fine.

"I don't know, its just that, you remember that movie with the couple who adopt that little girl, and she turns out to be in her thirties and a serial killer?" What was that movie called again? He couldn't remember.

"Oh Jameson, you're almost as paranoid as your brother, Neo is just a little girl, and I doubt someone as sweet as her could ever be a killer." Momma said as she prepared breakfast for herself.

"Yeah, so how is little brother doing?" Jameson asked as Momma smiled.

"Oh, well he brought his new girlfriend home to meet us." She said as her son raised an eyebrow.

"New girlfriend? Really? He didn't tell me anything." Jameson hadn't talked to his brother for awhile because he was busy with Med School.

"Oh yes, she's very nice, if a little bit nervous, she's a fancy sophisticated young lady, if I didn't know any better, I would say she has never been around normal people!" Momma said as she was making swedish pancakes with freshly cut strawberries.

"Well I'll be damned, so...He's not dating...HER again?" They referred to the woman who shall not be named.

Momma froze for a second.

"No...you know he wouldn't fall for that again." Momma said as Jameson breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Phew, thats a relief, I mean hell, I would take the girl who broke his heart over that freak any day." He remembered the one of whom they do not speak...she had a dark secret.

"But this is a new one! And you should meet her! You will be geniunly surprised." Momma said as she was definately surprised.

"Hopefully so, you know when Sherry is coming home?" He asked as his sister was currently working as a lab technician in Wisconsin.

"Probably in a day or two." Momma said as Jameson continued to drink his Daiquiri.

"So, we'll all be here to pick on little brother for having a new girlfriend?" He gave a sadistic grin as Momma also gave out an evil one.

"Yes...Yes we will be." She couldn't wait.


	36. The Limo and School

**Okay, so here we go again. So I am trying to write more chapters, once again because I am going back to school on the 16th, and I would like to get as many chapters as possible done because I don't know how much time I'll have left to write this semester.**

* * *

"I can't believe we're going home in a limo!" Yang said as Grandmama had rented one.

"I figured it would be nice to ride in comfort, rather than cram every one of us in a van like we did on the way to the airport." She said as that had been an uncomfortable position.

Winter had to sit in Jeremiah's lap, and he had to think about baseball and taking a dive into a frozen lake in order to keep something calm. Do you know how hard it is to do that when you have a beautiful woman on your lap? It's hard...not that kind of hard, but hard. This time they were sitting next to each other as they got ready to ride home.

"Oh Cool! They have a strawberry milk dispenser!" Ruby said as she put a glass in a slot for it.

"Why does a Limo need an ice cream machine?" Weiss asked as she pulled a lever and an ice cream cone was made for her.

"Hey, this is the rich people limo, they put all kinds of crazy things in them." Jeremiah had been in a limo one other time, and whoever they were renting it from had put a freaking wine rack in it. Who in hell did that?

"Oh that reminds me, Jeremiah, there is something for you too." Grandmama said as she pointed to a sealed off area of the limo.

"Okay, damn this thing goes on forever!" He said as he had never seen a Limo this big.

They may has well be in the back of a semi.

"Sooo, think you can date my grandson do you?" Grandmama scooted next to Winter.

"Well, uhm, I do believe we are allowed to as two consenting adult-" She was cut off by Grandmama shushing her.

"Relax dearie, I don't mind if you do, Lord knows that boy needs someone in his life who isn't...her..." Grandmama said as she got a serious look on her face.

"Her? The one who broke his heart?" She remembered the story he told her.

"Oh no, he forgave her eventually, the one I speak of was...was worse." Worse than a heartbreak? Who could it be?

"Oh by the way, do you feel anything for my Grandson?" Grandmama suddenly looked even more serious.

"I beg your pardon?" Winter didn't know what to say.

"Dearie, I may be old, but I'm not nearly as blind as that boys parents, you weren't really dating before were you?" Winter was shocked that Grandmama had figured it out.

"Well, that is a-" She was cut off once again.

"However, the past few days, I have noticed things have changed, almost as if there is something there after all, so I'll ask again, do you feel anything for my Grandson?" She asked as Winter remained silent.

"I...I don't know, all I know is that, I feel SOMETHING when he's around, and I've never felt like that before in my life." Winter didn't see the point in lying to the old woman, besides she would probably know if she was lying anyway.

Grandmama actually smiled, that was all she needed to know, she didn't expect the lady to know right away, but it was good to see that Winter did in fact feel something for her Grandson, something genuine for once. Was it love? Only time would tell, after all, they hadn't known each other long.

"Well, then consider this your test." Grandmama said as she sat back.

"Test? Of what?" Winter didn't understand.

"Oh how much you care, lets see how much of him you can tolerate." Grandmama had a smirk.

"What do you me-" She was cut off by a yell.

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" Jeremiah yelled as they heard the sound of a bottle being opened and drunk from.

"Y-You didn't." She said as Grandmama smirked.

"The boy has been sober for awhile, it's time you learn what he is like when he is REALLY drunk." She had filled a hidden cache of the limo with Kraken Rum.

"JEREMIAH!" Winter yelled as she was suddenly worried.

"WE ARE HERE TO DRINK YOU BEER! AND STEAL YOUR RUM AT THE POINT OF A GUN!" Jeremiah was holding a bottle of rum as he stuck his body out through the sunroof of the limo.

"GET DOWN!" Winter was honestly worried what could happen.

"AVAST YE LAND LUBBERS!" Jeremiah was now on top of the limo.

"WE'RE ON LAND YOU IDIOT!" Winter yelled as she needed to keep him contained.

"Ah, and here is your test Winter, if you can survive a drunken evening with him, then you will be welcomed into the family officially." Grandmama said as the rest of the group just stared at the old lady.

"You know, that was kind of evil..." Weiss said as she knew what Jeremiah could be like when he was drunk.

One time when they were hanging out, he downed a whole bottle of 'The Kings Mead' and ended up trying to build a Viking Longship in the tiny pond outback. Too bad he didn't know anything about ship building, he ended up just building a raft out of two inner tubes and a lawnchair. That was weird.

"It is a test, it's not supposed to be easy." She replied as she sipped her tea.

"He's on top of the roof of the limo...and we're driving down the highway..." Ruby thought that was dangerous.

"I'm sure she will stop him from doing anything too ridiculous.

"DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO!" They suddenly heard a noise as they heard Winter scream.

"ARE YOU NUTS?!" This was the most she had ever yelled.

"Hows it going up there?" Weiss tried to ask politley.

"THIS MANIAC TRIED TO JUMP ONTO THE ROOF OF A SEMI!" Winter yelled back as Weiss winced.

"Oh...so not good." She just sat back down and took a snack out of the mini fridge.

"This...is...just...the...beginning." Nora said in an ominous tone.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE BACK AT THE HOUSE**

"I feel a disturbance in the force..." Jameson said as he looked down at his drink.

It was called The Force, it was Grey Goose, Chambord and wildberry lemonade with a tiny glowing lightsaber used to stir it around. He looked down to see a fly had landed in it.

"Ah thats what that was." He said as he got the fly out and proceeded to down his drink.

"You know, you think your sister would be the one drinking fruity drinks, but she's the one who downs Bourbon, and here you are with fruity drinks." Momma said as it confused her.

"Well I'm sorry, it tastes nice, like the nectar of the gods, why drink something that tastes bad but gets you drunk, when you can drink something delicious and get drunk?" He asked as Momma shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay fair point." She said as she took a drink from her bottle of Heineken.

"Besides, my wife doesn't seem to mind, makes shopping easier because we drink the same thing." He said as he fingered the wedding ring on his finger.

"Amazing that you can find yourself a wife who you can share a drink with, and you don't have to argue about brands or better brewing methods." Momma had that problem with Dale.

It was either Lager vs Ale, or Stout vs Pale ale, it was a pain in the ass to fight about. But they always made up afterwards. Momma sat down and sighed. She really hoped Little Neo was making friends easily, she didn't seem too keen on going to school.

But school would be good for her, after all, what was the worse that could happen?

* * *

 **AT SCHOOL**

Neo hated it here!

She was put in a Sixth Grade class, and these kids were loud and annoying, most of them were talking about frivolous things like cartoons or their favorite pop artists. And Neo was just sitting in class TRYING to pay attention, but they just wouldn't stop talking! Was this really what schools were like? She could understand the need for kids to socialize, for for gods sake, it was like they never shut up! Add that to the fact that she was a mute and couldn't speak, she couldn't even join in on any of the conversations, even if she felt the need to.

But she didn't feel the need to, after all, she was still a grown woman, and she felt a little creepy being stuck in this class. She wished she was back at the house eating ice cream and watching TV, but NOOOOO, Roman just had to make her go to school! Seriously, she was sure that one of these days she was going to live up to her promise of cutting off his testicles. But not today.

"Hey! Thats mine!" She heard a girls voice say as she turned to see a little blonde hair girl reaching her hands out.

"Not anymore!" A taller larger girl said as she pushed the girl to the ground.

Just seeing her made Neo narrow her eyes. She never liked seeing bigger people pick on smaller people. Not just because of the fact that she was small, but also because she HATED when people thought that they could push others around because they had size and strength.

"HEY!" She heard the large girl yell as Neo just looked up with a disinterested look.

 _"What do you want Chunky?"_ Neo signed as the girl scoffed, obviously not knowing Sign language.

"Oh great, we got a deaf kid here." The girl said as a boy shouted.

"Esperanza! Leave her alone! She didn't do anything!" The boy said as the now named Esperanza glared at the kid.

"Shut up Timmy! Or you'll get clobbered next!" She said as Neo narrowed her eyes.

 _"What an unpleasant brat, and I'm mute you bitch!"_ Once again, Esperanza had no idea what Neo was actually saying.

"Whatever, hey kid!" The bully said as Neo tilted her head.

"That thing there! Thats mine now!" She said as Neo looked down.

It was a lunchbox, nothing fancy, just a simple lunchbox. But what it contained was far more precious. While she didn't like the fact that she had to go to school, Momma sent her to school with a hearty lunch. And she also sent a small homemade Neapolitan pudding cup, so there was no way in hell she was giving that up.

 _"No. Now go away."_ She shook her head and went back to her book.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me because you're death, so why don't you read my lips!" The girl knocked the book out of Neo's hands.

"GIVE...ME...YOUR...LUNCH...BOX." The girl said slowly as if Neo was mentally challenged.

" _I am a grown woman, I shouldn't stoop to this childs-"_ She was cut off by the girl stealing her lunchbox.

 _"OKAY! SCREW IT!"_ Neo launched a sweep kick which knocked Esperanza off her feet.

"Oof! Oh now you're dead!" Esperanza stood back up as Neo took a sitting position.

 _"Poor girl, if she wasn't such a jerk, I would feel bad."_ Neo knew this would be easy.

The girl was fat, didn't know how to fight, and was slow. This would be a walk in the park. The girl went for a punch, only for Neo to duck underneath, and land a leg kick to the back of her knee.

"OW!" Esperanza yelled in pain.

 _"I really shouldn't be doing this...I am a grown woman..."_ Neo thought to herself.

But then she did the work and the stats, Esperanza was tall for her age, about 5'3'' to Neo's 4'9'', she had the weight advantage, and she already bullied a kid. Maybe she shouldn't feel too bad about it.

"You stupid Puta! I'll make you bleed!" Esperanza said as she continued to swing her fists.

 _"I have no idea what a Puta is, but I don't like it."_ Neo thought as she may as well end this quickly.

Right hook, dodge, and a kick to the face. Honestly, this was way too easy. Not just because she was a kid, but also the fact that apparently the humans of this world were much slower and more fragile. So it made fighting them easier. Granted, Roman got his ass kicked By Pa, but that was different, Pa was insane.

"Ugh." Esperanza was getting pissed.

"YOU'RE DE-" She was cut off as Neo landed a kick to the head.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she fell to the ground. She smirked as she walked back to where she set down her book, she took her lunchbox back from the unpleasant little girl and sat back down to read.

"W-Wow." Little Timmy said as he looked at her.

"That was amazing! You knocked her out cold, like BLAM! POW! BAM!" Timmy said as Neo looked up from her book.

"That was so cool! Can you teach me to do that!" The little girl said as she now had her lunchbox back.

 _"Oh crap, this was not what was supposed to happen."_ This was not good at all.

"That was so awesome!"

"Where did you learn that?"

"Was that Karate?"

"Whats your name?"

Numerous questions were coming out of nowhere, and Neo was not expecting any of this. She didn't want to deal with any of these kids. She didn't even want to socialize with them before, but now they wouldn't stop.

"Could you teach me that?" The little girl said as Neo sighed.

 _"Look kid, I don't really feel like teaching anyo-"_ Suddenly she saw another Neapolitan pudding cup in front of her face.

"If you teach me that, I'll give you my pudding cup!" The girl said as all the kids started taking out their lunch boxes.

"Yeah us too! Esperanza tends to pick on all of us..." Aaliyah said as Esperanza was a real pain in the ass.

Suddenly Neo saw an oppurtunity here, these kids seemed to already idolize her, and they were willing to pay her in pudding cups...what to do?

 _"Well...I suppose I could teach a few moves."_ She said as she stood up.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

 **BACK AT THE HOUSE**

"Grandma? Where is Jeremiah?" Momma asked as she didn't see her son.

"Oh, he's coming." She said as everyone got out of the Limo, except Jeremiah and Winter.

"What do...why is there a cab coming?" Momma said as she saw a taxi pull into the driveway.

"Why there Lass, being a little forward there aren't you?" Jeremiah for some reason was dressed in a pirate costume, drinking from a bottle of Rum.

And Winter was currently carrying his ass bridal style. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were a bit dirty. But overall, she had been victorious.

"Well excuse me, but you can't walk right now Mr. Cotten." He said as Jeremiah burped.

"That's CAPTAIN Jeremiah Cotten." He said as Winter just sighed.

"Why do I put up with this?" She honestly didn't have a clue.

"Because you love me!" Captain Jeremiah said as he laid his head on her chest. Not even realizing what he was doing.

"H-HEY!" She was not expecting that.

"Hey Jerry!" Jameson said as he came out of the house.

"HEY! JEDIDIAH!" He yelled drunkenly as he saw his brother.

"You know I hate being called that." Jedidiah Jameson Cotten said as he always referred to himself by his middle name.

"And I hate being called Jerry, so suck it up buttercup." He said as he took a swig of rum.

"Geez, him being carried home by a friend with a bottle in hand, some things never change." Jameson muttered as he looked at Winter.

"So you must be one of his friends?" He asked as Winter shook her head.

"Actually, I'm his girlfriend." Winter didn't know who this guy was.

"Oh, wow, you're beautiful." He was honestly shocked that HIS brother, the geeky socially awkward kid with a penchant for drinking was dating THIS lady.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm his brother Jameson." He said as he stuck out a hand.

Winter just gave him a look saying that she couldn't give him a handshake because she was currently holding his brother. He felt stupid afterwards, but he understood that asking to shake hands when a woman is holding a man bridal style was probably not the best idea. Still though, this woman was GORGEOUS, and his brother was dating her? He had to give his baby brother a high five after this.

"You're his brother?" Winter asked.

"Yes Maam, thats right." He said as Winter looked him up and then looked at Jeremiah.

"You two...look nothing alike." She said as his brother was the exact opposite.

Jeremiah's body was more lean and streamlined muscles, Jameson's was more muscular and bulky. Jeremiah shaved his head, while Jameson had long thick hair, Jeremiah had a full beard, while Jameson had a tiny soul patch. Overall, they looked like completely different people. Seriously, did these two really come from the same place? Not to say that Jeremiah was unattractive, but his brother was impressive.

"That's what my wife says." He said as he had heard that before.

"I can see where she gets it." Winter looked down at her 'Boyfriend.'

What an odd family he had.

"So what happened?" He asked as he wanted to know the story of his little brother being dressed like Captain Morgan.

"Well, Grandmama gave him rum, he jumped out of the car at a stop, bought a pirate costume, and tried to commandeer a sail boat being towed by a truck." Winter said as she remembered it quite vividly.

She had no idea Alcohol would have THAT much of an effect on him, she had seen him mostly tipsy before since she had him cut back on his drinking, but now that she saw what he could do when he was drunk, she would be prepared for this. Or only let him drink small amounts, because who in the hell slams an entire bottle of Kraken Rum in one go?

"Be proud of yourself Child, you're the only man or woman I've seen who can catch him when he's THAT drunk." Grandmam said as she approved of Winter dating her grandson.

If he can take care of her when he's sober, and she can take care of him when he's drunk. It could be a beautiful relationship.


	37. Reunion with a Criminal

**Okay, so I started writing this one RIGHT away the last chapter. Let's see how long it will take me to finish.**

* * *

"AH! MY HEAD HURTS!" Jeremiah said as he was currently nursing a headache on the couch.

After they had gotten back into the house, Winter laid him on the couch in the living room and watched him sleep...not in a creepy way, just to make sure he was still alive. She had seen some people die in their sleep because of consuming too much alcohol, and she wanted to make sure he was okay! But luckily, this wasn't his first rodeo, and he slept peacefully. It was only after he woke up that it became a problem.

"Please, just calm down." Winter was trying to be quiet.

"Why are you yelling?" He said as this was the worst hangover he had ever had.

"I'm Whispering..." Wow, his hangover must have been bad.

Winter had never seen someone hungover, while Aura did allow you to get drunk, because it also acted as a healing factor, it usually helped reduce the risk of Nausea and headaches after a long night of drinking. Granted, Winter had no intention of testing that theory for herself because she was not much of a drinker. At most, a glass of wine every now and then, but not the huge drinking binges that Jeremiah seemed to go on. It was amazing that he wasn't an alcoholic. But then again in his words.

 _"Drinking Rum in the morning makes you a pirate! Not an alcoholic!_ " Granted, she had no idea why he was obsessed with Pirates all of a sudden. Honestly it was hard to tell.

"So, Winter, how did you meet my bro-" Jameson was cut off by Winter giving the cover story.

"At a bar." That was the most obvious answer.

"Come on Winny, give us some details!" He said as Winter froze. Ha ha, get it?

 _"Crap? What do I say? Jeremiah is nursing a hangover, and we never got past the story that we met at a_ bar!" She knew she had to come up with a story on the spot.

"Well, are you going to tell us?" Jameson wanted to know what he could use to pick on his little brother.

"Well, it started like this." Screw it, Winter was just going to wing it.

"We were both sitting at the bar, I had just gone through a rather stressful day." That was technically true, she did see her sister kiss a stranger after traveling to a different world.

"Your brother already had a drink or too, and he asked me what got me in such a bad mood, I tried to shoo him off as another wretched drunk, but as it turns out, he was sober enough to function properly, and even demonstrated it by taking sobriety tests for me to see." Winter was just pulling things out of thin air now.

"Damn, these advil are taking forever to kick in!" Jeremiah said as he was waiting for his headache to go away.

"So he scoots over and asks me what has been bothering me? At first I was hesitant to tell him, but...he seems to have that aura about him, he may seem clumsy and brash when you first meet him, and to be honest he can be at times, but at that moment, when I got to have a deep conversation with him about my life, job, and overall day, he was there to lend an ear to listen to me, and that was when we started spending more time together." Winter didn't know why she was saying any of this.

"We didn't go to the bar to meet up every now and then, mostly we would find a nice coffee place, and just sit and talk about life in general, believe it or not, he can be quite comforting when the situation calls for it." Which was also the truth. So Winter wasn't technically lying.

"I'll admit, I am guilty of keeping some emotions and feelings bottled inside, but lately, when I'm with him." Winter was actually speaking from the heart now.

"I feel free, like I can tell him anything, and he will be there to listen and help me as best as he can, and while he may be a drunk at times, he can be obnoxious, he can also be sweet and kind, and don't get me wrong, chasing him down because he wanted to be a pirate was insanity, but at the same time, it helps me feel alive, here I am going out of my comfort zone, and acting like a completely different person..." She trailed off at the end as she looked at him.

"All thanks to him..." It was true, back in Remnant, Winter had been very straight laced.

But here, she acted differently, she acted like a normal adult her age would act, but she also did some crazy things, never before in her life did she think she would chase a drunk guy down a street when he was dressed as a pirate, never did she think she would climb up a Mountain in Greece, that for some reason the locals thought the gods lived on. Never did she think that she would...feel anything for another human beings in terms of romantic love. And while she still wasn't sure if it was love yet, she definitely did like him.

"Wow, and to think I thought my brother could be a brash asshole, but he does have a sensitive side?" Jameson teased.

"Shut the hell up." Jeremiah said to Jameson as he felt another pang of pain going through his head.

"You know the rules, you bring wifey home with you, you must suffer." He said with a stupid grin on his face.

"Which must be why you don't bring your wife here anymore." Jeremiah shot back.

"Shut up." Jameson couldn't deny it, because it was kind of true.

That and his wife was busy since she was already a licensed surgeon, and he was still in medical school. So she didn't have a lot of time off.

"You really shouldn't drink so much." Winter said as she put a cool compress on Jeremiah's head.

"Sorry Honey, I may cut down on my drinking for you, but I do enjoy it, although if you must know" He said as he put his hand on her cheek.

"No alcohol compares to you." He said as he fell asleep.

"Woah, that may not sound like much of a compliment, but you should take that as a marriage proposal, I don't think he has EVER said that to a woman." Jameson joked lightly as Winter chuckled.

"So where is your father?" Winter asked as Momma spoke up.

"Oh, he went with Mr. Torchwick to go up little Neo from school." Momma said as Winter whipped her head to face Momma.

"What did you just say?" She didn't know if she heard her right.

"Yeah, he went with Mr...Roman Torchwick I think is his full name? He showed up in our house along with his daughter, so we took them in while he gets back on his feet." Momma said as Winter froze yet again.

 _"It can't be! Roman Torchwick, the famous criminal is here?! But how did he get her? The only one who knows that dust recipe is Professor Goodwitch, Ozpin, and General Ironwood, how did they get here?"_ Winter asked herself.

 _"Unless...Unless they came by accident, but what are the odds of that happening? How could someone get so lucky that they end up miracously mixing the right amount of dust to transport them here? No that can't be possible..."_ Either way, Winter was ready to defend.

Roman Torchwick was dangerous, along with his associate, she wouldn't let ANYONE harm this family...and she wouldn't let Roman harm Jeremiah.

"Weiss! We have things to discuss!" Winter said as she ran upstairs.

"Owwww, no yelling!" Jeremiah yelled which only hurt his head.

"Sorry!" Winter yelled out, suddenly she knew how Pyrrha felt.

* * *

 **AT THE SCHOOL**

Well, Neo had more fun than she thought she would. After she knocked out Esperanza, the girl tried to tell on her and say what she did, but there was just one problem. The WHOLE class came to Neo's defense, and when they checked the security camera footage, it was revealed what was actually going on. And while they did agree Neo did throw the first punch, or kick as it was, Esperanza was the instigator of the fight, and was bullying other children beforehand. When her parents found out, they came and took her home immediately. Last they heard, she was currently cleaning out the garage as punishment.

"Here's your other pudding cup Miss Neo!" Little Susie said as Neo smiled and took the pudding cup.

 _"Well I must admit, its actually nice having your own underlings."_ Neo had fulfilled her end of the bargain, and she had taught some basic punches and footwork skills at recess, and in return she kept getting pudding cup after pudding cup! Some were vanilla, some chocolate, and some strawberry, and some were even all three mixed together, it was absolutely wonderful!

"Miss Neo, why do you dye your hair like that?" A kid pointed out as he saw Neo's rather interesting hair style.

 _"I didn't. This is my natural hair."_ She tried to sign, but none of the kids knew sign language.

Well some did, but they were out sick today.

"Well it looks nice!" Little Susie pointed out as Neo continued to eat her pudding cups.

"Miss Neo, your father is here to pick you up." A teacher said as Neo stood up.

"Miss Neo! Will you teach us more tomorrow! We'll bring more pudding cups!" Little Timmy said as Neo put a hand to her chin.

 _"Eh, why the hell not, I'm going to be stuck here for awhile, and the food makes it less irritating."_ She just nodded her head and walked out the door.

"Now there is my little girl!" Roman said as he pinched her cheeks.

"Did you learn anything new today?" Dale asked as Roman led them to the car.

 _"Besides how much I want to mount Roman's Testicles on my fireplace mantle, and that I have a new army of underlings, we did get to dissect a frog, amazing how the kids felt uncomfortable doing that."_ Neo thought to herself.

Then again, she had stabbed people before, so dissecting a frog wasn't a big deal. Still though, she wasn't expecting those kids to be THAT squeamish. It was just a frog, and there wasn't even any blood, it wasn't that big of a deal!

"Anyways, we'll have to move your room out of my sons, he just got back from New York, and my other son and his friends just got back from Italy, so the house will be pretty full." That made Neo go pale again.

 _"ROMAN!"_ She signed in the back seat as Roman looked back.

Roman sighed, it was a good thing he learned sign language so he could communicate with her directly without anyone knowing what was going on.

 _"Calm Down Neo! Look, we have no idea where we are, and as much as I hate to say this...I'm sure we can make a deal with Little Red."_ Roman was given an incredelous look by Neo.

 _"Are you nuts?! They have a Atlas Specilist there with the, she would rather kill us or send us to prison!"_ Neo signed back as she was worried.

 _"Look Neo, whatever happens, I'm sure we'll be fine, just remember we have protection under Dale and...Momma."_ Seriously what was her real name? He had never heard it used.

" _Ha you called her Momma too!"_ Neo was currently trying not to laugh in the backseat.

 _"Shut up, the point is, I'll do the talking."_ Roman didn't miss the wince on Neo's face.

 _"In that case, what kind of wood do you want for your coffin?"_ Roman gave a insulted look.

 _"What is that supposed to mean?!"_ He had never felt so insulted in his life.

 _"You may be a great thief, but your social skills could use improvement, did you ever meet anyone you didn't steal from within five minutes of meeting them?"_ Neo was asking for real, since she couldn't remember a time when he didn't.

 _"Big words coming from the mute."_ He signed as Neo narrowed her eyes.

 _"Jerk."_ She signed as he signed back.

 _"Bitch."_ And then they turned around and stopped signing.

"We're almost home!" Dale said as Roman played with the collar around his neck.

"Sir, when can I get this thing off? I mean, I thought you trusted me more now?" Roman asked as Dale hadn't beaten him up in days.

"I trust you a little more, but not enough, that and I lost the key to the lock on the back of the collar." Dale said as Roman felt the back of his neck.

"Wait a second! You put a lock on the back of the collar?!" What kind of person does that.

"Well I figured I needed a little bit of insurance in case you tried to take it off." Dale said as he wanted to make sure it only came off, when he said it came off.

"And here we go, home sweet home!" Dale pulled into the driveway.

And much to Roman's fear, he saw Team JNPR, Team RWBY and Winter Schnee standing out in front waiting to greet them.

"Huh, thats odd, why do they look like they're ready for a fight?" Dale asked as he pulled in and got out of the car.

"Hey kids! Whats going on?" He said as he noticed Winter had a sword on her hip.

"Oh, just waiting to meet the new tenants." Ruby said as she didn't believe that Torchwick was here.

"Well sure!" Dale was oblivious to what was going on.

"GET OUT OF THE CAR TORCHWICK! Little Neo, you stay right there and finish your drawing." Apparently Neo was currently drawing with a set of crayons in the back seat.

In her defense, Crayons were fun. And she had nothing else to do in the back seat.

"I'll leave you all to get acquainted, I need to go talk to Jameson." Dale proceeded to walk inside.

"Soooo, Uhm, Truce?" Roman said as Winter drew her sword.

"What are you doing here Torchwick?" She said with narrowed eyes as Roman held up his hands.

"Woah! Woah! I'm unarmed! Relax! Look, I don't know how I got here! One minute I'm robbing a warehouse! The next thing I know, a huge explosion goes off, and somehow I end up here!" He saw no sense in lying.

"Why should I believe you?" Winter asked as Ruby was preparing a weapon.

"Yeah! You're up to no good aren't you?!" She said as she had managed to make a replacement for Crescent Rose because it was still back at Beacon.

"What would I gain from coming here? I don't know anybody! I don't know the currency! And I got my ass kicked by a crazy guy and locked in a cage while my partner lived the high life!" That still honestly irritated the hell out of him.

"Partner?" Yang had a bad feeling about this.

"Oh yeah, you might know her as the girl with the parasol." Roman said as Yang's eyes went red.

"Oh really? Well, I have been meaning to get some payback." She said as she cracked her knuckles.

 _"Okay, maybe Neo was right and I really do suck at talking to people."_ Roman honestly didn't know what to do.

"AH! My head's feeling better!" A bald bearded man came out of the house just as the car door to the chevelle opened again.

"Hey whats going o-" He was cut off as he saw a strange sight.

He saw a little girl hop out of his dad's Chevelle in a pink and baby blue dress with an innocent look on her face, holding up a drawing that showed her taking a knife to what appeared to be Roman Torchwicks crotch with a smile on her face, but because it was drawn so cartoony, it looked funny.

"Oh...MY...GOD..." Jeremiah froze in place.

"Jerry! Get back, they are dan-" Nora was cut off by Jeremiah gaining a smile.

"SHE'S SO FREAKING TINY!" He yelled as he ran up and picked up Neo.

Neo grunted as she was picked up and hugged tightly by the bearded man. She was not expecting this.

"You're just so freaking cute! Oh my god! Do you want a snack? Oh lets go get Momma to feed you!" Okay, Neo could live with that.

"Jerry! She's a criminal!" Yang honestly wanted payback, but she couldn't do that when Jeremiah was hugging that little midget of death.

"Daaaww, but she's adorable!" Jeremiah said as he took her inside to go get her some ice cream.

"..." Winter face palmed.

"I told myself I was going to protect him...and that idiot takes a dangerous criminal into his home..." Winter couldn't believe it.

"So uh? Parlay?" Roman said as he really didn't want to fight them alone.

Especially since his partner had been hijacked AGAIN by a crazy person who thought she was adorable AGAIN, and was being taken to be fed various snacks...AGAIN!


	38. Plans for a Date and Neo's Comfort

**Okay, so I was a little disappointed in this chapter. Mostly because I wanted to have an emotional moment with Neo and Roman, but to be honest, Neo and Roman don't seem the type to get touchy feely, and Neo's personality isn't really covered, we do know she's sadistic, but other than that, I don't know much else.**

 **Anyways, so chapter 38, and I am at least trying to get 50 chapters.**

 **Here we go.**

* * *

Winter was pissed off. She was finally starting to accept that maybe her and Jeremiah had something, and then what happens, he takes a criminal into his home, and he starts getting her various fruit snacks and ice cream bars. Granted it was funny to see that Neo was being treated like a child, it still made her mad that the little bitch took his attention away.

"Here you go!" Neo was currently happily munching on an ice sandwich.

"You...do realize who she is right?" Winter whispered in his ear.

"Of course, Neo, Roman's partner, and possible sadist." He said if her appearance in the show was anything to go by.

"And you're sitting here feeding her ice cream." Winter said looking at the tiny woman.

"Well...she's not trying to hurt anyone, and she just looks so...tiny..." Jeremiah felt for this woman.

She was just so tiny and cute looking, how could she be so evil? That and look at her eating ice cream, it was the cutest thing ever.

"So how is Torchwick doing?" Jeremiah asked as Winter sat down on the other side of the table next to Neo.

"Well..." She said as she looked over.

Momma and Pa had gone out for awhile, and left them all alone. So they tied Torchwick to a chair, binded his hands and feet, and had Ruby standing guard while forcing him to watch RWBY volumes 1-3. After of course, Neo had kicked him in the balls for forcing her to go to school.

"Why did you guys have him watch the show?" Jeremiah didn't see the reason.

"We figured it was smart to see what would happen to him." Winter said as Jeremiah looked at her.

"You did make sure not to show him anything too important revolving Cinder's 'Nefarious' plan right?" He asked as she nodded.

"Of course, they skipped over most of the Vytal tournament and showed him the scene where he gets eaten by a Grimm." Winter said as Neo choked on her ice cream sandwich.

 _"WAIT! WHAT?!"_ Neo couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Who was this guy? How did he know their names? How did he know she was a sadist? How did he know what would happen to Torchwick, what was going on? She didn't know. But for once, she felt concerned that a man she had never met before in another world knew a lot about them.

"Oh, looks like I worried little Neo." Jeremiah was honestly laughing at the nickname that was given to Neo by his parents.

" _Oh great, that is one name I am never going to escape now."_ Neo rolled her eyes at that.

Yeah, something tells her, if they ever do get home, then they will never stop calling her that. Roman will call her that to annoy her, much like he calls Ruby 'Little Red'. And all of her enemies would call her that because of Roman, and she would look like a child! It made her so mad! The sad part was that, people thought she was short currently, but the sad part was that she was wearing heels!

Yes boys and girls, it was true, the sad part was she was even shorter without heels! And it pissed her off to no end. Seriously, if it wasn't for the fact that she trained hard in order to fight people, she would probably be stuck working as a living advertisement for Garden Gnomes!

"So, uhm, about our date…" Jeremiah asked as Winter looked up.

"What about it?" She asked as she was a little nervous about it.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we should do something regular, nothing too fancy, but just a regular date, how about dinner and a movie?" He asked as she thought it over.

In all honesty, that seemed to be the best course of action. If they went too fancy, then Jeremiah would probably dislike it due to the fact that fancy usually means small amounts of food for a high amount of money. So that was not an option, and if it was too cheap, chances are neither one would like it because usually you want things to be decently priced for quality reasons. So dinner at a fairly nice place, and a movie sounded nice and relaxing.

"Don't most people go for the movie first and then dinner?" Winter asked as Jeremiah nodded.

"Yes, but I find having dinner first makes sense, you see, at a movie you focus on the screen, besides holding hands and cuddling, not a lot happens, you just stare at the screen and you don't interact, however, at dinner you do talk about a lot of things, so you go to dinner first and talk about the day, and then after you eat, you feel a little more relaxed, so you can just enjoy the movie while being cuddled up." Jeremiah said as Winter was actually kind of disturbed and impressed at how much thought he put into this.

"Who puts the same amount of thought and effort into planning a date that is required in Neuroscience?" Winter honestly thought he had too much time on his hands.

"In my defense, I was a shy kid who when he got his first date, didn't really know what he was doing. And spent WAAAYY too much time thinking it through." He said remembering he had a plan of attack.

"Maybe that was your problem, you put too much thought into it." She said as overthinking things usually doesn't work.

"Eh, you're probably right, take that Teenage me!" Jeremiah suddenly remembered when he went through that teenage emo phase.

He shivered at himself, the sad part was that when he did go through that emo phase, he had to steal his sister's black nailpolish. THANK GOD that part of his life was over and he came to his senses that life was good.

"You mean the version of you that looked like Ms. Belladonna?" She said remembering the makeup photos.

"Yeah, teenage angst is a weird phase, hell I don't even remember what I was so angsty about." Now that he thought about it, he really couldn't remember.

Maybe being a teenager was like being drunk, you don't remember why you were so angsty, you just were.

"So, how about tonight?" Jeremiah figured the sooner the better.

"And leave Torchwick and Little Neo here?" Neo slammed her head into the table, as even the soldier was referring to her as Little Neo.

"Momma and Pa were able to keep them occupied, and based on what Pa told me, he gave Roman quite an ass kicking, is that right Neo?" He turned to ask Neo as she nodded.

" _And they put me in different outfits and started feeding me until I thought I was going to die from being too full!"_ Neo's torture was really not that bad at all.

"So are we absolutely sure that they are not showing Torchwick anything vital about your world with the volumes?" Jeremiah was still slightly worried.

"In our world, and in your world, we would be in a time that is a few months before Volume 3's beginning, he has seen both 1 and 2, but the only scene from Volume 3 he has seen has been his own death. To show what his mistakes will bring." Winter stated as Jeremiah looked up.

"What if he gets my dvds and watches for himself?" He asked as Winter looked awkward.

"Yeah about that….I'm sorry." She said as Jeremiah looked confused.

"Sorry? Sorry for wh-" Suddenly broken dvd pieces were put in front of him.

"Sorry Jerry….we broke them." Nora said with a guilty look on her face.

"WHAT? Guys seriously? Come on!" He took his DVD collection very seriously.

"We're sorry, we realized we didn't think our plan through all the way, so we snapped them in front of him." Nora really did feel bad.

"Well how is he now?" Jeremiah asked.

"He hasn't said a word for about fifteen minutes." Even Ruby was surprised at that, usually Torchwick never shut up.

"How about I have a word with him?" Jeremiah said as he went upstairs where they were keeping Roman.

His brother was currently passed out on the couch, too many fuzzy navels for him. His brother really was a light weight drinker. He didn't even notice that Neo was currently watching his brother sleep, Winter could see though, and it was creepy as hell.

" _Sooo….Handsome…"_ Neo thought to herself as she traced a finger along his abs.

"Okay little Neo, time for your nap." Winter said as Neo glared at her.

" _Okay seriously Schnee, you know I'm older than I look, so why don't we cut with the little Neo shit?!"_ Neo signed, even though she didn't think the Schnee would know how to.

" _Actually I won't, so why don't you cut with the attitude, or I'll have Momma not make you any special snacks for a week."_ Winter signed as Neo glared at her, more pissed off about her pudding cups going away then the fact that Winter knew sign language.

" _You wouldn't dare…."_ Neo warned as Winter smirked.

"Try me." She said with a smirk as Neo backed down.

She wasn't going to risk losing her pudding cups because of Winter.

Jeremiah almost immediately came back downstairs. He wasn't even up there for a minute. Why did he come down so fast?

"Did your talk with him really go that fast? " Winter couldn't believe it.

"Uh, No, when I got up there, he was crying, and I just closed the door, hey Neo, why don't you go up there and talk to him?" Jeremiah said as that was way too awkward for him to watch.

" _Wait…Roman was crying?"_ Now Neo knew something was wrong.

Even if she kicked Roman in the balls, even if he was in the worst possible shape in his life, she had never seen him cry at all in his life, if something was making him cry, she knew something must have gone horribly, horribly wrong.

"Are you sure it wasn't just a way to gain sympathy?" Winter asked remembering Ruby was guarding Torchwick.

"I doubt it, even Ruby didn't know what to think." He said as he looked at Winter.

"So, what movie would you like to see tomorrow?" Jeremiah asked as Winter looked at him.

"Why don't you pick the movie?" She asked as Jeremiah froze.

"What?" She didn't know what she said to make him freeze up.

"Oh sorry, old habits, usually if I hear that, It means 'Pick what I want you to pick." He chuckled as Winter just deadpanned.

"I'm not from this world, and I don't know any of the movies except those that I watched with you and Weiss's friends." She stated as if it was that simple.

"Oh yeah….forgot about that." Well this was awkward.

* * *

 **UPSTAIRS**

"I'll just be outside the door." Ruby said as she closed the door behind her.

Neo was just looking at Roman, his head was down. And he wasn't saying a word. She had never seen him like this before in her life. Sure, he had moments where he was pissed off, but she had never actually seen him look so morbid.

She waved her hand in front of his face trying to get his attention but nothing.

"What was the point?" He asked her as he looked up, his eyes red.

" _huh?"_ Okay, now she was confused.

"Life was good, I took what I want, whenever I want, and go where I wanted to, I thought being bad was better than being good, and that concepts like karma were just the poor man's tool of hoping that someone that was better than him would get what was coming to him, but it all went wrong." Roman said as he looked out the window.

"I died Neo…" He said as Neo looked slightly shocked, even though she knew from Winter and Jeremiah.

"Not only did I die, I ended up being eaten by a Grimm…A GRIMM!" He had a slight burst of anger.

"Everything I ever did, everything we ever did all stood for nothing!" He couldn't believe his life was going to end like that.

"The sad part was that it could have been avoided, if I had just turned around at the last minute. But no, I get stuck dying and being turned into a pile of Grimm shit!" Okay, Neo was actually worried for Roman right now.

She may have liked to pick on him, and occasionally threaten him with violence, but seeing him like this was just wrong. So she did the only thing she knew would get him to stop.

SLAP

" _PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!"_ She thought to herself as Roman looked shocked.

"Ow! What was that for?" He honestly didn't know.

" _Look, as much as we want to hear you're 'repenting of your sins' speech, you don't even realize one simple thing, I don't know what you watched, but I'm going to assume something to do with the future right?"_ She asked as Roman just nodded.

"What about it?" He asked as Neo rolled her eyes.

" _You idiot, now that you know what is going to happen, you can stop it from happening, is it that hard to understand?"_ She signed as even she could see the benefits of knowing the future.

"I don't know the future; they only let me see my own death for going along with HER plan." He said as he suddenly had doubts about working for Cinder.

" _Then why don't we just go back to where we started from? You know? Robbing banks? Kidnapping rich heirs? For Oum's sake, something away from that woman, and preferably something that pays well!"_ That was going to be a very important factor.

"Woah woah, Neo, it's not that simple!" He knew they were in a dangerous crowd.

" _You mean to tell me that you've evaded capture of the authorities for years, and have been able to get away, but you can't find a way to hide from Cinder? Come on!"_ Neo figured they might as well give it a shot.

"And what then? We live the rest of our lives in hiding?" He asked her as she narrowed her eyes.

" _Either that, or you get eaten by a Grimm, your call."_ Even though it was going to PAIN her to say this, she had to say it.

" _I would rather you stick around for as long as possible….."_ Neo hated to admit it, but as much as she sometimes hated the orange haired bastard…she would also miss him.

Before they came here, Roman was the only one she had in her life, and she would hate to see his life end because he went along with a nefarious plan that resulted in his death. So why not use the opportunity at hand to get away from it all?

"Woah, wait, did you just admit you would miss me?" Roman was done crying as he started to get a smirk on his face.

" _Shut up."_ She said as she got ready to walk out of the room.

"YOU WOULD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ADMIT IT!" Roman said as he suddenly felt something bonk him in the head.

"OW!" He looked down to see that Neo had thrown a shoe.

In all honesty, that did make him feel better. Coming face to face with the fact that you saw how you were going to die was an awful feeling. Even worse when you realize you didn't have much time left. So it did leave an impression on Torchwick.

But the question was, what was he going to do with this information? Would he listen to Neo? And try to prevent it?

Or would he continue down the same path?

The choice was his, and unlike his counterpart on the screen, he had a chance to change the future.

But would he?


	39. An Ex Revealed and Torchwick's Pain

**So I'm pretty happy with this chapter. See if you can spot the reference in this!**

* * *

"Are you serious right now?" Weiss asked as her sister was pacing.

"Yes, I am serious." Winter had a nervous look on her face.

"You mean to tell me you're nervous about a date with HIM?!" Weiss couldn't believe it.

There was a reason her sister earned the nickname Ice Queen before her, but some drunken, beer swilling, barbecuing, bald headed, crazy guy was making her nervous? Actually now that she thought about it, she would be nervous too if she was going on a date with a crazy guy. Well, at least it wasn't the 'stab stab' crazy, more like the 'Oooh pretty butterfly' crazy.

"Come on Winter, its not like you actually care for him." Weiss said as Winter remained silent.

"Wait….you..No no no! You actually care for him?!" Once again, Weiss was dumbfounded.

Sure everyone else thought that they were a good pair. But this was Weiss's sister, she wasn't going to give her up to some random guy she just about a month ago. I mean come on, this wasn't some fanfic where they meet and instantly fall in love! For Oum's sake, Winter tried to kill Jeremiah before! How did feelings start to get involved?

Granted, she had been there to witness them bonding, but she didn't think it would actually turn into anything else. Especially since Winter was known for shutting other people out when it came to feelings.

"Look, its just dinner and a movie. It's not like its your wedding day." Weiss asked as Winter blushed.

"W-Wedding day?" Great, now that brought different images into mind.

"Hey, I'm ready to go when you are!" Jeremiah said as he was dressed simply.

A collared flannel shirt, with a pair of dark blue jeans, a belt with a Philmont belt buckle and some boots, Winter was dressed in a pair of jeans, and a white t shirt. Very plain, but honestly she liked it.

"Yes, of course." Winter had to shake the thoughts from her head.

"Jeremiah-" Weiss was cut off by Jeremiah.

"Yeah, Yeah, I know, I hurt her, you cut my dick off." He said as Winter looked at Weiss.

"Wait, what did I miss here?" Winter wanted to know when this happened.

"Oh yeah, our first date, Weiss threatened me with a scary voice." He said as Winter looked at Weiss who had an innocent look on her face.

"What? Come on Winter, you're the big sister, its your responsibility to threaten any men who may come into my life, not the other way around." Weiss said as Winter shrugged and walked out of the room.

"Don't EvEr bE AlOnE!" Weiss threatened in a scary voice.

"WINTER! SHE'S DOING THAT THING AGAIN!" Jeremiah said as he ran out of the room.

* * *

 **LATER**

"So this is peaceful." Winter said as they decided on a restaurant with some old mementos from the past laying around.

"Yeah, I enjoy coming to this place, the atmosphere is great if you enjoy history, they really try to capture the feeling of being in a different time." Jeremiah said as it felt like they opened the door to the 1950s.

"Why the obsession with history?" Winter asked as she noticed that he had a knack for collecting old things from the past.

Some things ranged from old weaponry like swords, and a flintlock pistol, while other things ranged from vintage game systems like something called an NES and an Atari 2600. She couldn't figure out why anyone would want to collect stuff like that.

"Well, I needed a hobby, that and you got to appreciate the past, because one day, all those things you loved and all those things you enjoyed, all of that will just fade away and will be replaced by the future technology of the past. That and it just seems like things were built to last back in the day." He said as there was a reason why he enjoyed Rustic places.

"Does that explain the old wreck of that car in your larger garage?" She asked as she had been out there before.

The place was full of old junk, ranging from a beat up old car, to a sailboat, to some old engine parts.

"Oh no, that's my dad's stuff, my stuff is much smaller, for example like those vintage game systems you saw, and my vintage movie collection." He said as Winter looked at him.

"I remember, you had me watch a ton of them, as I recall, you were insistent that I watch 'Star Wars'." She remembered that night.

He dug out a bunch of old Betamax tapes for the original Star Wars trilogy. Apparently it was necessary that everyone in his world watch Star Wars at least once in their lives. Winter would admit, it was entertaining, even though it was weird that they had the main character kiss his own sister. Even though he didn't know it, she did find it weird that it was never brought up again.

And it was definitely disturbing when Leia mentioned that somehow she had 'Always known' that Luke was her brother, which made the kiss in Empire Strikes back a little disturbing.

"Hey, Star wars is important." It was true, Star Wars was important.

I mean, who didn't want their own lightsaber?

"And then your obsession with Lord of the Rings." Jeremiah had given her both the books to read, and the movies to watch.

Luckily she had plenty of time to read the books on the plane ride to and from Italy.

"Hey, its better that I'm obsessed with Geeky things than I am with drugs….except for Alcohol and caffeine, but the point is I could be doing much worse when it comes to addictions and hobbies." Winter gave a shrug at that.

It was true, better to spend money on mindless entertainment, then to spend money on drugs that ruin your life. There was no argument there.

"So what about you?" He asked as Winter took on a thoughtful face.

"As I said, I didn't have a lot of hobbies, I do enjoy reading and listening to music though." Those were two things she could honestly say she enjoyed.

"So I'm guessing you enjoyed Weiss's singing?" Jeremiah was making an observation.

"If you must know, I did try to make it to each of her performances." Winter said as she did enjoy hearing Weiss sing.

"Well that's good, enjoying music, and you get the wonderful feeling of listening to a family member perform." He said as he chuckled a bit.

"What?" She asked.

"Well it reminds me of two times, one when I was a kid, and I saw numerous kids suck at playing the violin, and it also reminds me of the time I was in High School Choir." He said as Winter deadpanned.

"You're joking." She could not imagine him as a choir boy.

"I am not, I was also in a musical in high school, lets just say, it was a lot of fun, but still awkward to perform in front of people." He said as he didn't like that feeling.

"You get stage fright?" That was a shock to her.

"No no no, nothing like that, I just get tempted to do something stupid." He said as she sat back a bit.

Okay, THAT made more sense than stage fright.

"Food's here!" He said as the Waittress came over with their food.

"Okay, one bacon cheeseburger with Bacon cheese fries, and one Tuna fish sandwich and salad." The waitress said as she left to go check on other customers.

"You know, you don't have to eat healthy all the time." He said as he took a bite out of his burger.

"I know, but old habits, when you're in the military, you try to keep yourself as physically strong and healthy as possible." She said as Jeremiah held out a bacon cheese fry.

"Well here, you're on vacation, try some." He said as he NEVER offered his food to anyone else.

"Are you sure? I don't wish to intrude." She said even though that artery clogging delight looked delicious.

"Winter, if I didn't want you to have some, you would see me guarding my plate like a one armed inmate." He was being completely honest, he hated people stealing his food.

"Very well." She said as she took some with a fork.

"Oh come on, a fork? Winter you're dining with a guy who barely uses silverware, no need to be polite." He said as she looked odd for a second.

Hesitantly, she grabbed some bacon cheese fries with her bare hands, the greasy feeling on her fingers feeling foreign, but because it smelled so good, she ignored it as she popped the treat into her mouth.

"Hmmm….Pretty good." She said as she had to admit, it tasted delicious.

"See?" He said as he took another handful.

"Can't be very good for you though." She said as it tasted too good to be healthy.

"Well, you know what they say, the better it tastes, the more unhealthy it i- HEY!" He said as Winter stole some more fries.

"What? You said I could have some." She said with a smirk as she munched on them.

"Yeah! But you just took half of them!" This is when Jeremiah realized he was falling for the oldest trick in the book.

When your boyfriend/girlfriend says they don't want fries, so they don't order them, but then you offer them one, and next thing you know, they help themselves to who knows how many of your fries. It was a problem that every man and woman faced in America.

"You never specified how much I could take." Winter was once again smirking as Jeremiah wagged a finger at her.

"Oh you are evil." He teased as she chuckled.

"And you didn't notice that I just took some more." She said as Jeremiah looked down at his plate.

Only to see that his fries were still intact.

"How did you? HEY!" He said as he noticed that some of his burger was missing.

"How did you do that?" He said as it seemed like she cut off a bit of it in almost no time at all.

"Glyphs." She said as Jeremiah saw a tiny glyph on his plate, with what appeared to be a tiny man with hedge clippers trimming away at his burger.

"Oh you're good." He was keeping an eye on his food.

"GOSH! Why can't they get my order right?" Jeremiah froze as he heard a voice.

"Oh no! No no no no NO!" He said as he started to panic a bit.

"Are you okay?" She was honestly confused as to why he was acting like this.

"Winter, don't take this the wrong way." He said as he dived under the table and hid behind the table cloth.

"What are you-" She was cut off as she saw a woman walk by.

Her hair was dyed in a weird tiger stripe pattern, she had a nose stud and a pierced ear, with a shirt with a kitten on it, and tight black shorts. She was sort of attractive, but the pissed off look on her face was kind of a turn off.

"Uh, what are you doing?" She asked as Jeremiah was keeping silent.

"That…is my ex." He said as she disappeared.

"The one who broke your heart or the one who shall not be named?" Winter asked as she didn't know what to think.

"The one who shall not be named." He said as he took a peek out and got back in his seat.

"She didn't seem so bad." Granted, she was a bit of a bitch over her order, but overall, she didn't seem so bad.

"Trust me, anyways…" He said as he grabbed his plate from below.

"Just hide me." He said as he munched on his food beneath the table.

"People are giving us weird looks." A middle aged woman came by.

"Well, what does your boyfriend think he is doing under there?" The woman said with a smirk.

"Uhm, he's eating his meal?" Winter was being truthful.

"My word! You young people are so fresh these days!" The woman said as Jeremiah was trying not to laugh.

"Uhm, Winter, we may have to inform you of some slang used in this world." He had to resist the urge to LAUGH at what Winter seemed to be implying.

Jeremiah eventually came out from under the table as they ate their meal in relative peace, his ex had not made an appearance in awhile, so he figured she must have left after she didn't get the meal she wanted.

"Okay, leaving the tip, and we're good." Jeremiah made sure to leave a generous tip.

He was a waiter once, and it sucked ass when you got stiffed on a tip.

"Which movie are we going to see again?" She asked as he looked at his watch.

"Some movie called Passengers, I only chose it because Chris Pratt was in it." He said as he LOVED Chris pratt.

"You mean the chubby guy from Parks and Rec?" She had seen that show when she was bored one day and discovered Netflix.

"Yeah, the same guy, but he's not so chubby anymore, you want proof? Just look at Guardians of the Galaxy and Zero Dark thirty." He still couldn't believe that Andy from Parks and Rec was a Navy Seal in Zero Dark thirty.

As they were walking towards his truck, they heard the dreaded voice.

"JERRY!" Jeremiah froze as he heard the voice.

"Crap! Crap! Crap!" He said as he struggled to get the key in the lock.

"Who is this girl?! I thought we still had something!" Winter saw the girl from before getting closer and closer.

"I BROKE UP WITH YOU A YEAR AGO!" He said as he stuck his key in the lock.

" You broke up with me! But I didn't break up with you!" She said as Winter was feeling protective.

"Miss, I will ask that you leave us a-" She was cut off by Jeremiah pushing her into the truck.

"Don't try and reason with her! She's crazy!" Jeremiah said as he slammed the door shut and slammed on the gas.

"WAIT! COME BACK! I STILL LOVE YOU! I EVEN MADE THIS FOR YOU!" She said as she reached into her bag.

"AHHHHHH!" Jeremiah screamed as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" She yelled as she had never seen him this freaked out before.

"I don't want anything to do with her…" He said as she scared him.

"Why? I get that she's a stalker but-" He cut her off.

"It's not just that…" He said as the camera went back to the woman in the parking lot.

"Who was she?" Winter needed to know.

"Her real name is Melania Hirsch…" Melania was pulling something out of her bag as Jeremiah was driving away.

"But she calls herself Tigerstripe Fangbite now…" She pulled out the object.

It was a pair of fake wolf ears.

"And she is a furry." He said as he didn't like to bring it up.

"Soon…we will be together….my little wolf….." Tigerstripe seemed to fade into the shadows of the night, like a predator stalking prey.

* * *

 **BACK AT HOME**

"Well Neo! Here we are!" Roman was back to normal.

He decided to take Neo's advice and try to change his fate, and from what he could understand, the world of Remnant on Planet Earth was featured in a TV show about Little Red and her friends, so what better way to find out about the future than to use the internet.

"And those idiots thought it was a good idea to leave us alone while they go and play video games! Well guess again! I will have my revenge!" Roman said as Neo just sat back and ate ice cream.

He had no idea he was acting like his RWBY chibi counterpart.

"Now let's see, how about I type in my own name." He said as he typed in 'Roman Torchwick' to google.

"Ah here we go!" Roman said as he typed on a character bio.

"Let's see I was based off of….some guy named Lampwick? Who the hell is Lampwick?" It sounded like his name, but with a lamp instead of a Torch.

"Okay, most of this stuff is just details I know about myself." He said as he went back to google.

"Maybe if I let google choose a suggestion for me." He said as he typed in his own name again.

"Hm? What's this? Roman Torchwick rule 34?" He asked as he had no idea what that was.

He clicked on the link, and scrunched his face in disgust.

"OH DEAR OUM!" He yelled as he backed away.

"YOU SICK BASTARDS!" He yelled as Neo got curious.

" _Hey whats the big ide-"_ She was cut off as she saw what he was looking at.

" _OH MY OU-"_ She ran out of the room to throw up.

"What is that Griffon doing to me?!" He said as he scrolled past it.

" _Roman! You better get off of that right no-"_ Neo was cut off by the next picture on the scene.

One picturing her and Roman in a very lewd position.

" _OH OUM! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"_ Neo screamed internally as she ran to the bathroom, this time she was going to throw up for real.

"WHAT SICK BASTARDS MADE THIS SHIT?!" Roman had never felt this mad in his entire life.

"What the?! I would never do that with HER OF ALL PEOPLE!" Now he came across a picture of both him, Neo and Cinder all at once.

"NO! THAT'S IT! I've had enough!" He yelled as he closed out of the tab. Deleted the history, ran into the bathroom to throw up. And went downstairs to make himself a thing of hot coco.

"Neo…." He said as Neo looked traumatized as she was sipping on her hot coco as well.

"We NEVER mention this again." He said as she nodded up and down visciously.

" _I don't even remember what you're talking about."_ She thought to herself.

It was going to take more than Brain bleach to get THOSE images out of her head.


	40. A Date Goes Wrong

**Chapter 40! Woo hoo! Which means I have about ten chapters left to wrap this up, if not I'll go a few chapters over before I finish this Arc. And then it will be Arc 2.**

 **Anyways, so this chapter may seem rushed at times.**

 **Have a nice day.**

* * *

"Furry? As in the crazy people Weiss told me about?!" Winter asked as she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"In my defense! I had no idea she was a furry when we were dating, it only came out when I fell asleep, and I woke up and she was sleeping on top of me in a tiger costume!" He said as THAT freaked him out to no end.

They never had sex, and frankly after she tried to tie him up and put a dog collar on him, he ran away and never looked back. It was so creepy! I mean, he was okay with accepting other people's kinks, but for gods sake! That didn't mean he was into those kinks!

"How did you not know that?" You think the animal costume would be a give away.

"Hey! I never saw her wear any costumes, the closest I saw was when I saw her wear a pair of cat ears on Halloween, and I didn't realize why she had those!" He said as they arrived at the movie theater.

"Anyways, how about, we just forget about her, and enjoy the movie?" He said as he just wanted to forget it.

"I don't know, this is kind of entertaining." She said as she had never seen a grown man scream like a little girl.

"Oh, mock my pain why don't you?" He said as he rolled his eyes.

In all honesty, it was kind of funny. Granted she had never seen a furry before. But she knew about them from the stories Weiss told her, and that they scarred Ms. Belladonna for life. It was at that point that Winter could suddenly understand why the white fang hated humans, but in all honesty, she couldn't believe that a group of humans would go so far as to fetishize animal parts. They must never find out about Faunus kind…

Good god, what would happen if a White fang member met a furry? She shivered at the possibilities.

"So do you want popcorn?" He asked as he was at the vendor.

"No way, they're charging you more money than you paid for the meal!" She said as she could not not believe the ridiculous price of popcorn at the movies.

"Well, I'm getting it anyway, so want to just get a large bucket to share?" He asked as she seemed more subdued.

"I suppose so…" Even though she still felt nine bucks for a bucket of popcorn was an outrageous price.

Seriously? Popcorn was delicious, but not THAT delicious.

"So do you think this movie will be any good?" Winter asked as Jeremiah shrugged.

"I don't know, I mean its possible, so we won't know until we get a chance right?" He said as he got his popcorn and went over to the butter machine.

"What is that?" She asked as she saw him sprinkling some stuff onto the popcorn.

"Basically some kind of cheesy buttery salt." He said as it was freaking delicious.

"What is it with this country and fattening foods?" Winter asked as seemed like there was a fast food place on every corner.

"People like to eat, and unhealthy foods are tasty." He said as he wouldn't deny it.

He had to stop eating fast food because while it was cheap, you could feel every bite of salt and sugar within your burger, now it was very rare that he went out to eat. Usually he went to Steak and Shake or other burger joints, just because a good burger is always an excuse to go out.

Still doesn't compare to some of the barbecue he has had at bars, seriously, some bars really knew how to grill. It was amazing.

"Doesn't that lead to numerous health problems?" She said as some of this did not look healthy.

"Of course it does, but some people just decide that 'Eh who wants to live to be a hundred'. Besides, it's hard to turn down some of these foods, I mean hell, have you ever tried to turn down buffalo wings? You may as well try to refuse a winning lotto ticket." He said as buffalo wings were delicious and addicting.

"Hm, its okay." Winter said as she took a handful of the cheese salt popcorn.

"Told you." He said as they took their seats.

* * *

 **BACK IN REMNANT**

"Is it almost finished?" Ironwood asked as Ozpin was holding up a vial of dust.

"Almost, as of now, we still only have enough to send a few people through, but we need to make enough to bring at least twelve people back." He said as the process was slow.

"There has to be a faster way." Ironwood said as Ozpin sighed.

"At the moment, this is the fastest we can work, you can't rush when it comes to dust, otherwise something could go horribly wrong." Ozpin knew from experience that you have to take your time with dust.

"And the longer they stay there, the more we have to cover for them. Students are starting to ask questions." Needless to say, two teams don't just disappear without causing ruckus.

They knew they were still alive, but people were trying to keep it under wraps that they were transported to a different reality, as far as the students knew, they were still on Remnant, just in a different part of the world. One that was apparently very remote, and was taking a long time to find them, they could never know about another world in existence.

"And that's not even taking into account how dangerous that world appeared to be." Goodwitch remembered the footage they saw from that drone.

"No more dangerous than our own world I am sure." Ozpin didn't have the same negative view of Planet Earth as his Colleagues seemed to have.

"Ozpin, one of their wars was higher in casualties than the great war and every small skirmish in the history of Remnant!" Ironwood saw the history of that planet, and it was not pretty.

"And look where they are now? So they may be a remnants of a time best forgotten, but they are not without hope." Ozpin wasn't ready to judge the people of Earth.

He saw the times they had to endure, World Wars, smaller conflicts, disease, famine, plagues, so many horrible things that had happened in it's small history. But he saw no reason to see them as a barbaric people. After all, where they any different? While Ironwood looked at the casualty number of Earth as a reason to fear the inhabitants of Earth, Ozpin saw it in a different light, for each of their wars, there was also an age of enlightment, for every plague, there was an age of advancement in medical technology.

They were no different than the inhabitants of Remnant, and just the inhabitants of Remnant, Ozpin had hope for the Earthlings.

"Be that as it may be, I would prefer we get those nine back home as soon as possible." Ironwood didn't want to risk anything bad happening.

He may not think much of the people of Earth, but he was not without worry when it came to his soldier and the eight students stranded on Earth. So he cared in his own way. Goodwitch just wanted to make sure her students were safe and sound, and for once, she actually agreed with James, Earth was a dangerous place, and that was saying a lot for a planet inhabited by Grimm.

Of course, with Earth, there was a problem, it wasn't just the people or wildlife they had to worry about. In truth, they didn't know if the diseases of Earth were contagious to inhabitants of Remnant, before their drone self destructed, it had transmitted history of the planet, and they learned about the different diseases and plagues that had struck mankind.

The Black Death, 75 to 200 million estimated people killed.

Smallpox, 300-500 million people killed in the 20th century.

And those were just TWO diseases than ran rampant on Earth, Remnant had its fair share of deadly diseases, but nothing nearly on that scale! It was something that was almost unheard of. Due to advances in medical technologies, it was easy to keep a disease contained before it got to that point. Earth did have their defenses against the diseases, and most everyone was vaccinated. But there was the problem.

Teams RWBY and JNPR along with Ms. Schnee were visitors to that world, they carried no such immunity.

If they stayed there too long, there was a chance, no matter how small, that they could attract diseases that while mostly wiped out by the humans of Earth, would be devastating to the people of Remnant.

* * *

 **BACK WITH WINTER AND JEREMIAH**

"Well, that was that." Jeremiah didn't really have an opinion either way.

Winter was too distracted since the popcorn they were eating had turned out to be super addicting, and she was too focused on the taste rather than the movie. So she had pretty much missed the whole thing. Course, Winter couldn't really focus because she was wondering about just how much this ex of Jeremiah's freaked him out. Was she really that crazy? Granted, she did get to see first hand what she was like, but she couldn't be worse than that right? **(1)**

"Well overall, that was nice." Winter as it turned out, got a refill of popcorn just before they left the theater.

What? As it turns out, they gave out refills for free, so maybe being ripped off for the price of the bucket and first filling wasn't so bad.

"Hold on." He said as he took a thumb and wiped some cheese salt off of her face.

"There we go." He said as he licked it off his thumb.

She blushed a bit at the contact. Even more so that they almost indirectly kissed, she blushed even more at that memory. In truth, she had been wanting to do that again, even if it was technically her first kiss, and it had been stolen from her, the feelings she gained from the lip contact was….amazing. Granted it was a little sloppy, but it didn't change the feelings that overcame her when it happened.

"Jeremiah…" She asked as she got closer.

"Yeah?" He asked as he saw her face getting closer.

"Could we-" She was cut off as she heard a voice.

"Okay mister! Turn around slowly!" They heard a man say as Winter saw a man wearing a mask.

" _You got to be kidding me!"_ Winter could not believe this was happening right now.

Jeremiah turned around slowly with keeping Winter behind him.

"Okay dude, this really isn't a good time." He said as he couldn't believe he was being mugged right now.

Granted, they were in Rockford Illinois, so it wasn't THAT unusual. Anyone who lived there or at least close to the area knew it had been going downhill, which was a shame because it used to be such a nice place.

"I want your wallet." He said as Jeremiah chuckled.

"Look buddy, sorry, but there's nothing in my wallet…see?" He showed the man his empty wallet.

"Then give me her!" The man said as Winter narrowed her eyes.

"Okay, buddy, that's enough." Jeremiah gripped Winter's hand as he was being defensive.

"Jeremiah, I can defend myself." She said as she had faced enemies tougher than this.

"While you're here, you're my responsibility." He said as he stood in front of her.

"LET ME THROUGH!" The man stabbed his knife forward into Jeremiah's rib cage.

"OH SHIT!" Jeremiah said as the man went for another stab.

Jeremiah threw a punch at the man's face, hoping to at least get one punch in before he got stabbed again. Unfortunately, it only dazed the man momentarily before he went for another stab. Luckily however it never went through.

Winter went into a rage when she saw the first stab, and she immediately summoned a glyph which launched a giant metal fist into the man's face, and into another car.

"Jerry!" She said as she saw him leaning against a wall.

"Holy shit! Holy shit! This hurts!" He said as he was putting pressure on his wounds, trying to keep from bleeding out.

"Take my phone, call 911!" He said as he sat back against the wall.

Winter was not going to cry at this, she was stronger than that. But one thing was for sure, she did feel scared. Here was a guy she felt something for, and right now he was bleeding on the sidewalk because he protected her.

"Why did you do that?! I can defend myself!" She said as Jeremiah smiled.

"Well, I guess people do crazy things when….oh that hurts." He said as he was keeping pressure on his stab wounds.

"Just stop talking!" She said as she made the call.

As they waited for the ambulance, neither one saw a face looking through the window of a Toyota Prius, on top of her head a pair of tiger ears as a snarl came to her face.

"You idiot, I paid you to stab her! Not Jeremiah! I'm so sorry my little wolf. I promise, when we get back together, I will make you the most satisfied man on the planet." She said to herself as she licked her lips and started the car and drove off.

That was the last time she paid a homeless man to stab someone.

As soon as she saw the white haired bitch that was with Jeremiah at the restaurant, she knew she had to take her out. That harpy would get in the way of their yiffing! And she could not have that happen! So after Jeremiah thought he had escaped, Tigerstripe tailed him in her prius, while making sure to keep a safe distance so that he wouldn't see it was her.

When she saw him taking the white haired bitch into the movie theater, she paid a homeless man a hundred bucks to stab her. Unforturnately, the idiot was drunk, and stabbed the wrong person.

Neither Winter or Jeremiah knew what happened.

* * *

 **BACK AT THE HOUSE**

"Oh come on!" Yang lost to Pyrrha in Mortal Kombat.

"It's no fair! How are you so good at this in real life and in the virtual world?!" Yang could not believe it.

"I'm just that good." Pyrrha said with a smirk as she high fived Jaune.

"That's like saying I'm good at rock band because I'm a good singer!" Weiss was honestly mad.

"But Weiss, you are good at that." Ruby said as it was still singing and basically karaoke, so she was good at that.

"Shut up Ruby." Weiss grumbled as they switched games.

They heard a knock on the door as they saw Neo stick her head in.

"What do YOU want?" Yang asked as she cracked her knuckles.

Only for Neo to hold up a sign.

" _Peace?"_ She held up the sign like Wile E Coyote.

"Oh you want to be friends?" Ruby asked as she nodded.

"I'm not falling for that!" Yang didn't trust her.

"Yang, come on, we're all stuck here, might as well enjoy it, besides, didn't you want another player for battlefield?" Ruby pointed out as Yang grumbled.

"Fine, but if she tries anything, I'm throwing punches." She said as Neo held up another sign.

" _If I was going to try something, wouldn't I wait til you were asleep and kill you then?"_ She asked as Yang held up another sign.

"I don't know, if you did, would you willingly tell us what you plan to do when we go to sleep?" Neo rolled her eyes at Neo.

" _Oh come on, I'm not going to kill you in Momma's house!"_ She said as Yang actually deadpanned.

"Wait, did you just call her Momma?" Yang suddenly forgot about her anger.

" _Shut up!"_ Neo held up another sign with a blush.

"OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE A MOMMA'S GIRL!" Yang started to laugh as Neo started to blush angrily.

" _SHUT UP!"_ She sat down with a controller and shot Yang's head off.

"HEY!" She said as she grabbed her controller.

" _Just remember, I can still kill you in the game!"_ Neo smirked evily as they started to play.

"I'm going to kick your ass so hard, that you'll have to go back to starring in Travelocity commercials!" Yang was mad now.

RING RING RING RING!

"Hello?" Weiss answered the phone.

"What? Woah! Slow down!" Weiss said as everyone looked towards her.

"Okay! I got it!" She said as she hung up the phone.

"Momma and Pa are coming to pick us up….Jeremiah was stabbed."

* * *

 **(1) I've never seen Passengers, so I couldn't think of a way to describe it. So I just made an excuse for Winter.**


	41. Operation Ice & Fire Success and Truth

**So here we go, the chapter I really wanted to get out of the way.**

* * *

"Winter….why is the ceiling moving?" Jeremiah asked as he was laying down in a bed.

"It's not…they gave you painkillers." She said as those drugs were fucking him up.

"Are you sure? Because its made up of wavy rainbows…heh heh heh." He was high off of his ass.

"You know Winny, it's funny…" He said as she looked at him.

"What is?" How could this be funny.

He turned to look at her with a dopey grin. Whether it was because of the drugs or if that was how his smile usually looked, she didn't know. All she knew was that you could see in his eyes, that he was doped up beyond all measure.

"You don't remember?" He said in a mock hurt tone.

"Remember what?" What could he possibly be talking about.

"This is similar to how we first met!" He said as she suddenly remembered.

Back when she tried to kill him for kissing Weiss, only then it was a head injury, here it was for three stab wounds, which wouldn't have been so bad, if some major veins hadn't been nicked on the way in. He was very lucky to be alive.

"Except then I was trying to kill you, and now you were trying to protect me." She said as she saw the irony in the situation.

"Huh, how ironic." He said as he started to giggle.

"Hee hee, white haired boobie goddess." He teased as she rolled her eyes.

"Really? That nickname again?" She couldn't believe he remembered that.

"Well, you are a goddess." He said cheekily as Winter chuckled.

"And you're HIGH." She said as she was getting a laugh out of him.

"Not that high, Oh hey Weiss is here." He said as she turned around.

Only to see no one else there.

"Uh, She's not here." Winter said as Jeremiah shook his head.

"No no no! She's entering the building now!" He said as she gave him a weird look.

"Okay, Jerry, You're high, that doesn't mean you're psy-" She was cut off as she saw Weiss and the others coming down the hall.

"Tooolllllldddd yoooouuu." He said as Winter looked at him shocked.

"How did you do that?" She asked as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, I just thought about 'Oh hey, Weiss is coming.' And poof! She was here!" He said as he made a strange face, and tried to concentrate.

"What are you doing now?" She asked as he looked constipated.

"I imagined you in a nurse outfit." He said as she blushed and punched his arm lightly.

"I would call you a pervert, but I'll just say it's the drugs this time." She said as Jeremiah grinned.

"Nope, I'm a pervert, I just do a good job at hiding it." He said as Winter rolled her eyes.

Well, at least he wasn't dying, that was the good news. They had rushed him to the hospital and had gotten him in stable condition quick enough, even if there was a lot of blood and Winter was worried about him, everything turned out all right in the end. Still though, how could someone lose that much blood and still be alive? But then again, Momma did say that Jeremiah was too stubborn to die, maybe that had something to do with it?

"Well, I wouldn't wear something as ridiculous as that." She said as Jeremiah chuckled.

"You neeevvveerrr knooooowww." He said in a weird tone of voice.

"Don't give me another reason for them to use painkillers." She warned him.

"Party pooper." He stuck his tongue out at her.

"What are you five?" She couldn't believe this man was almost as old as her.

"Nope! Just high! Heh heh HIGH FIVE!" He started giggling like a schoolgirl.

"….You know what, I'm not even going to ask anymore." She stood up to go greet Weiss.

"But…I do need to do this." She said as she walked over to his bed.

"Do wh-" He was cut off as she pressed her lips to his.

He closed his eyes slowly as he put a hand on the side of her face, he was now kissing her back, Winter had wanted to do this back at the theater, but then Jeremiah got stabbed, so she was getting her money's worth before something else happened. Who knows what crazy things would happen next?

"That was definitely worth it." She said as she gave a small smile at his dopey grin.

"Wait, I wasn't done yet!" He made a silly face as Winter put a hand to her mouth as she started to giggle slightly.

"Maybe some other time." She stated as she walked outside.

"My gosh…" He said as he puffed his chest out and felt like a 'Sir.'

"I am the man!" He pumped a fist in front of his face.

"Woaaahh, were my hands always this tiny?" He said as they looked so weird.

* * *

 **OUTSIDE THE ROOM**

"How is he?" Ruby asked in a bit of a worried tone.

"High, but fine." Winter said as everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"What happened?" Momma asked wondering what went wrong.

"We got out of the theater, and some guy came up to us with a knife, he wanted Jeremiah's wallet, but he didn't have any money left, so then he asked for me, when Jeremiah refused, he stabbed him before we knocked him out." Winter told the story as honestly as she could.

She didn't need them to know that she used her semblance out of anger. Oum/Lord knows, she would NEVER hear the end of that.

"Did you know who he was?" Momma asked wondering if it was a crazy ex.

"Never seen him before in my life." Winter was telling the truth, she hadn't been in this world long enough for that.

"Odd, why would someone who want Money suddenly ask for you?" Dale asked as he couldn't figure the reason out.

"He looked kind of deranged." He really did, kind of like a homeless schizophrenic.

"What else?" Momma asked trying to get as many details as possible.

"Well, when we went to the restaurant, we ran into Jeremiah's ex." She said as Momma and Pa's blood froze.

"You mean…she who shall not be named?" Momma asked as Winter nodded.

"If you mean by Tigerstripe Fangbite, then yes, it was she who shall not be named." Winter saw that both Momma and Pa were looking worried.

"What? You don't think SHE had something to do with this? Right?" Winter couldn't believe it, the girl may have been weird, but she wasn't homicidal.

"I wouldn't like to think so, but she…she was an odd girl." Momma said as there was a reason they didn't talk about her.

"What kind of name is Tigerstripe Fangbite?" Blake asked as it sounded ridiculous.

"A furry name." Winter said as Blake suddenly felt very worried.

"Wait…they're here too?" She suddenly felt a chill go down her spine.

"Yes, and apparently one of them used to date Jeremiah." She said as Blake shivered.

"No wonder he was so adamant about keeping me away from furries…" She said as there was a legitimate reason why he was afraid of furries.

"What did this girl do to him?" Ruby wanted to know why she was so bad.

"Well, she tried to put a collar on him like a dog and turn him into her pet…" Dale said remembering that night he came home and barricaded the door.

"Don't even get me started on the fact she even had a leash for him…" Momma remembered how she came looking for him that one night.

"And we also got a wolf costume for him in the mail." Dale said as everyone was starting to get the point.

"Okay, so maybe she was a little obsessed with him." Weiss couldn't believe it.

"I wish we knew why, why she chose him to be part of her furry fantasy I will never know." Dale/Pa knew that it took his son forever to get out of the house again.

It also didn't help that it was his first relationship after his heartbreak ex, so it was like a double whammy. Seriously talk about getting the short end of the stick. Nobody was THAT unlucky.

"Mr. Cotton?" A nurse came out as he nodded at her.

"Yes that is me." He said as she smiled.

"Your son is going to be just fine, he did lose a lot of blood, but a transfusion should have him up and running in no time at all." She said as they all sighed in relief.

"Okay good, so how long until he gets it?" He asked as the nurse sighed.

"That's the thing, as it turns out we're all out of A+ blood at the blood bank and in our own stores." Pa could not believe that.

"How is that even possible to be out of one blood type?" There was no way that could be right.

"Well…this is Rockford, and unfortunately we had to use a lot after a group of PETA protesters decided that releasing long horn cattle from a ranch was a good idea and they ended up getting badly wounded from being trampled and gored on horns." Pa winced at that.

"Wait, so they gave the blood to people who willingly released longhorns without realizing they were startling them?" He couldn't believe that.

"We took an oath that we would help anyone who came through there, even if they were stupid enough to be the cause of their own injuries." She shook her head and looked at him.

"But that shouldn't be a problem. I'm sure we can get a blood sample from you or your wife." She said with a smile as Dale looked worried.

"Yeah Mr. Cotton, no problem right?" Ruby asked as he was worried about their new friend.

"Mr. Cotton?" Jaune noticed he didn't look so excited about that deal.

"Uhm, yeah, well…the thing is…" The nurse spoke up.

"Don't tell me both of you are afraid of needles?" She asked as that was unbelievable.

"No, it's not that, it's just that, can we talk for a second?" He lead the nurse and his wife to a different room.

"Huh, that was weird, wonder why he seemed so resistant to the idea." Blake was wondering if he really was afraid of needles.

"Well, Jeremiah is afraid of Squids, maybe his dad doesn't like to see blood?" Yang suggested as Weiss shook her head.

"I doubt it, have you seen the way that family eats their steak? If they could eat it raw, they would." Weiss had seen the amount of blood that came out of their steak when they cooked it rare.

How were they not vampires?

"Look, how about we go say hi to Jerry!" Nora said as they all nodded.

"I'm sure he would enjoy the company." Winter said as Weiss looked at her.

"By the way….I saw that little stunt of yours." Weiss said as Winter looked apprehended.

"What could you possibly mean?" Winter was acting a little nervous.

"We saw that kiss, you kissed him…WILLINGLY." Weiss stressed out the last word as everyone looked at her.

"REALLY?!" Everyone looked at her with a smart ass grin.

"Okay, so I did, whats it to you?" She asked as Nora and Ruby got really excited.

"Ruby, call Grandmama." Nora said as they both ran off to find a phone.

"Wait, why?" She asked as Weiss facepalmed.

"Grandmama has been trying to get you two closer since she first met you." Weiss said as Winter looked offended.

"You mean to tell me his Grandmother has been trying to fix us up since the beginning?" She was not expecting that.

"Pretty much." Jaune said as he didn't know how Winter was going to react.

She was silent for a bit, she walked towards the door to Jeremiah's room. She turned around and sighed and looked at the group.

"Well….you can tell her that she won." Winter said as everyone got smiles on their faces.

"IT HAPPENED! They're together! Hallelujah!" Nora was cheering.

" _I'm so proud of you all! We will have a victory dinner later on!"_ Grandmama said over the phone.

"By the way, what happened to Torchwick and Neo?" Winter couldn't believe they left them home alone.

"They're in the car, we told them they could use the computer while we were gone, but they both got a sick look on their face and shook their heads, so they decided to wait in the car." Ruby didn't know what got into them.

"So…they're in a car…alone?" Winter wasn't sure about leaving two criminals in a car.

"What are they going to do? They don't know the city, they don't know the currency, and there isn't any dust to steal in this world." Ruby pointed out as there was nothing they could do.

"That and we left the dvd player on in the big van we came in, last I checked, Neo was busy watching slasher films." It was a bit disturbing that someone as cute as Neo thought Slasher movies were the best things ever.

"Oh forget it, Torchwick hasn't been a problem since he came here." He was pretty much useless here.

 **IN THE VAN**

"How the hell do people beat this damn thing?" Roman was currently playing on a PSP while Neo was watching her movies.

" _Yeah Jason! Cut that guy in half!"_ Neo was currently cheering for the killer in Friday the 13th.

"I mean, why do people find this entertaining? All this is doing is pissing me off!" Roman was getting frustrated with the game console in front of him.

Apparently he was playing a greek god of war and couldn't get past one of the bosses, it was driving him nuts!

 **BACK TO THE HOSPITAL**

"Hey Jerry!" Nora said as she gave him a light hug, since she didn't want to risk reopening his wounds.

"Hey Nora." He was a lot more calm now that he wasn't as high as he was before.

"How are your wounds lady killer?" Yang asked as he looked at his bandages.

"Honesty, these are pretty cool, can you imagine the scars I will get? They're gonna be awesome!" He said as now he could tell people he had been stabbed before.

"Really? That's what you're worried about?" Winter gave him a light glare.

"Of course, I can wear them as a badge of honor because I got them defending a beautiful woman." She fell right into his trap.

"Y-You….." Damn it, he got her.

"You planned that didn't you?" Weiss looked at him accusingly.

"I may be crazy, but I do have a sharp wit." He said with a wink.

"Idiot!" She yelled with a blush. Oh boy, was she a Tsundere like Weiss.

"Hey son…" Dale said as he came in.

"Hey dad, check this out!" He said as he lifted his bandages.

"WOAH! We don't need to see that!" Jaune covered his eyes.

"Relax! It's all stitched up! Ha ha ha, oh crap hurts to laugh." Jeremiah replied as it hurt his stab wounds to do more than chuckle.

"Well son, the nurse says you'll be fine, but if you get a blood transfusion, you would be even better." For some reason, Dale looked strange.

"Okay cool, so some A+ and I'm good to go." He said with a smile.

"Yeah, they're out." He said as he still didn't believe it.

"Okay, that's unbelievable, but so what? I mean, we can just use yours or moms right?" He asked as he was certain one of his parents had his blood type.

"Actually…." Dale said as he sat down.

"This may seem like a bad time to tell you this." Jeremiah had no idea what was going on.

"But neither your mother or I match your bloodtype." Okay, how could they not?

" Because You're adopted."


	42. Short: Comfort and a Crazy Woman's Dream

**Okay, so this chapter was short, mostly because 1, Need to move the plot along, and 2, Since Jeremiah does share my personality for the most part, he is not the kind of person who would be too worried about some of the things in this chapter.**

* * *

The whole room went quiet, Jeremiah just sat there staring at his parents. Winter didn't know what to say, and the rest of the group just sat in relative silence, unsure of what to say. After all, what could they say? Considering that his parents just told him they weren't his real parents, that was actually kind of mind blowing.

"So….you're not my…biological parents?" Jeremiah asked as Dale nodded.

"Not biologically, no." Dale said as Jeremiah leaned his head back onto his pillow.

"Actually….that kind of makes sense." He said as everyone did a double take.

"Wait, WHAT?!" The group yelled out as they couldn't believe he was taking this so calmly.

"Oh don't get me wrong this is life changing, since I have been living for 22 years, and only finding out about this now, but come on, I look nothing like my siblings or my parents." He said as they took the time to look at his parents and then back at him.

It was true, he didn't look anything like them.

"OH MY GOD!" He suddenly started laughing.

"Uh, are you okay?" Jaune asked as he was acting like he lost his mind.

"Do you know what this means?" He was crying a little bit, but he also seemed to be happy?

"What?" Winter was honestly worried for him.

"This means I wasn't conceived because my dad was a stripper!" He said as he started laughing.

"Uhm, actually son…..you might want to calm down a bit." Dale said as Jeremiah suddenly went quiet.

"You…You can't fucking be serious?" Jeremiah had a very…VERY bad feeling about this.

"Well, kind of, you see, it wasn't your biological father who was a stripper, it was your biological mother…" Okay, now that put the rain on Jeremiah's parade.

"What?" He asked with a tremble in his voice.

"Her stage name was Davina Dangerous" Okay, now that was a hard blow.

"My….My mom was a stripper?" Suddenly Jeremiah didn't feel so good anymore.

"Yes, and I'm afraid your conception was still a result of a broken condom, so we told you the truth on that account." Jeremiah was now hiding his head beneath the covers.

"W-What about my biological father?" He asked as both his parents winced again.

"They…They don't know who he is, I'm sorry son, I wish I could tell you that your real parents were regular people, but I can't." Dale said as he didn't want to see the look on his son's face.

"Jerry?" Winter asked as she couldn't see his face.

"What about my real name? What is my real name?" He asked as there was no way his real name was Jeremiah Richard Cotton.

"You were born as Edgar Joseph Allen." Momma said as they could see Jeremiah's head shift.

"Wait, Edgar Allen?" That actually got his attention.

"Yes, Davina was a huge Edgar Allen Poe fan." Momma said as Jeremiah still didn't know what to believe.

So they didn't know who his real father was, his mother was a midget stripper, and he had been stabbed just an hour ago. This was turning out to be a life changing night.

"Look, I only got one thing to say…" Jeremiah said as he took the blanket off of his head.

He had actually was looking a little teary eyed, but it was mostly because he realized that the actual story of his conception was much worse than he thought. For all he knew, the woman who birthed him was a cheap lay for some drunken asshole, and that was what made it horrible to think about.

Sure the story of his dad being a stripper was bad, but he never once doubted that his parents loved him, but now….hearing the truth, he was the spawn of a one night stand, and apparently an inconvenient one considering that he was put up for adoption. His real mother didn't want him, and that was a hard pill to swallow.

"You two raised me from the start, Dad took me to my first baseball game, Mom you always cooked me Bacon and Swedish pancakes whenever I was sad, you two were there for every single moment of my life…even if you're not my biological parents…you're still my parents." He said as you could see a tear in Momma's eye.

"But this….making me believe I was yours for 22 years, why not just tell me the truth sooner?" He asked as he didn't know what to believe.

"How? We didn't know how to tell you, but we certainly didn't want it to come out like this….we're sorry." Momma said as Jeremiah went silent.

"Could I have some time to think?" He asked as everyone nodded.

"Not you…" He said to Winter as she looked at everyone.

Everyone else walked out of the room as Winter walked over to his bed.

"So…bet this isn't how you figured Date night would do huh?" Jeremiah didn't know what else to say.

"No, not really." Winter didn't really know what to say, how do you talk to someone after they learn that they were adopted?

"I mean, I don't hate them for not telling me…but it's almost like they didn't trust me with the truth." He said as Winter held his hand.

"Maybe it's like they said, maybe they just didn't know how to tell you, after all, listening to that story, it was not easy." Under other Circumstances, the story may have been funny, but not this time.

"It's just, it's hard to believe, but it makes sense, but it still sucks, as much as I wish they were my biological parents, its just not true, so what am I? Just some random drunk's bastard?" He asked as Winter got mad and slapped him.

"Ow." He said as he held his face.

"Don't you ever say that." Winter had a very serious look on her face.

"You're much more than that! Since I've been here, I've gotten to know you, you're not just some spawn of a lustful encounter, you've given us a place to stay, you've shown us a completely new world, you've introduced me to a normal life, you have done so much for all of us for almost nothing, so don't ever think of yourself as just some 'Bastard child'." Winter didn't understand why she got so mad at him for saying it.

"I appreciate hearing that, but was the slap necessary? I mean…I am in a hospital bed." He said making a joke.

"You'll heal." She said as she gripped his hand.

"Well, it still leaves a few questions unanswered…" He trailed off as he looked into Winter's eyes.

"Who was my father? Was he a businessman? A writer? Painter? Soldier?" He asked wondering who could have been his Mother's casual encounter.

"I don't know, but maybe its best that you just appreciate the family you do have, rather than focusing on one you will never know…" She said as she couldn't believe she was offering advice like that.

"You're right…" He admitted as she smirked.

"Of course I am, the girlfriend is always right." She said as his eyes went wide.

"W-Wait?! Girlfriend?! Really?!" He suddenly looked very excited.

"Well why not?" She said with a smile.

"WOO HOOO! OH SHIT! BLEEDING AGAIN!" The cheer of joy reopened his stitches.

"OH NO! NURSE!" Winter called a few over.

"WORTH IT!" Jeremiah yelled over the pain.

"You…idiot…" She said as she walked out of the room.

Why had she fallen for an idiot?

 **A FEW HOURS LATER**

"Well this is peaceful." Jeremiah said as Winter had fallen asleep on his shoulder during the ride home.

"You two look so cute together." Momma said as Jeremiah was doing much better now.

After a long, LONG discussion, they put this whole thing behind them, but at the same time, he was going to use this as a 'Get out of jail' free card for a long, long time. Anyways, Neo was currently watching Freddy vs Jason on a tablet as everyone else was crowded in the van.

"So Weiss, how do you feel about your sister and Jeremiah officially dating?" Yang teased Weiss.

"Yang, I have only one thing to say….he's a idiot…" She said as she looked at Winter and Jeremiah.

"But…he makes my sister happy, and that's all that matters." Weiss begrudgingly admitted.

She didn't know how her father was going to react to this. But at the same time, she was laughing at what Jeremiah would do to Whitely.

" _OW! OW! OW!"_ She imagined Jeremiah giving Whitely an atomic wedgie and her smile grew bigger and bigger.

After the shit he pulled in Vol 4. He could use a good ass kicking.

"Uh Weissy, you okay over there?" Yang snapped her fingers in front of her face.

"Hm? Oh nothing, just thinking of something." She waved Yang off.

"Oh? You mean like future nieces and nephews?" Yang said as Weiss glared.

"Don't even joke about that!" Weiss knew what would have to happen for her to have Nieces and Nephews.

AND THAT WAS NOT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON!

"Wow, look, they just went to bed willingly." Winter and Jeremiah were holding hands all the way up the stairs.

It was at that moment, that both Weiss and Momma yelled out the exact same thing.

"NO DING DING WITHOUT THE WEDDING RING!"

 **IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION**

"Damn it…it only made them closer." Tigerstripe said as she was furious over the recent development.

She thought that getting the ice bitch out of the way would leave Jeremiah vulnerable to her advances, but all she did was make them bond even more! If only that stupid homeless guy in the 'I'm with her' shirt had just listened to her and done his job!

"Now what?" She asked as she answered her phone.

"Hello?" She asked as she heard a voice over her phone.

"Sister Fangbite, have you been successful in recruiting more to our cause?" A voice said as she now realized who it was.

"I managed to recruit five more people to our cause, but there is one who is being stubborn to switch over to the furry side." She said as she was determined to make Jeremiah a furry.

"You know our rules, if they offer too much resistance, they are not with us, but against us." The voice said as he hung up.

"Asshole…." She said as she looked over at picture of Jeremiah strung up on her wall.

"One way or another my little wolf….you will become one of us." She said as she left the room.

A giant white fang insignia hanging on the wall.

 **BACK IN REMNANT**

"How is it coming along?" Ironwood asked as Ozpin was sipping his coffee as usual.

"We almost have enough to send the three of us through and bring back everyone who is trapped on Earth." Ozpin said as R&D was almost done with the dust mixture.

Seriously? How could it take a team of scientists a few months to create a dust mixture and perfect it, when some random students who screwed up an experiment in a class could create it within minutes? It was madness! Madness he says!

"Have you been able to track their location?" Goodwitch asked Ironwood as he nodded.

"Yes, we have been able to narrow down their location to one specific area." He said as he showed a layout of an area.

"Looks like an old farmhouse." Goodwitch said as she looked at the images.

"So when do we go through?" Ironwood asked as Ozpin stepped up.

"I'm afraid you will have to stay here James, Glynda and I will handle this." Ozpin said as Ironwood looked at him like he was crazy.

"That is my soldier on that world." He tried reason with Ozpin.

"And those are our students, James, do you trust me?" Ozpin asked as Ironwood stopped talking.

"Yes…" He was being truthful even if he was having doubts.

"Then trust me, we will bring them back." He said as he got ready to walk off.

"When do we leave?" Goodwitch asked as she followed Ozpin to the elevator.

"Tomorrow, try to dress as inconspicuously as possible, as we saw from those magazines the drones picked up, your outfit would not be….street appropriate." He said as Goodwitch hid a blush.

She had no idea what a dominatrix was beforehand…and she wished she had never found out.


	43. Witches and Wizards Arrive

**Here we go, another chapter today. Jesus Christ, I am on a roll. I got to get to fifty chapters before the sixteenth, and I think I am making good progress, what do you think, should I slow down after this?**

* * *

"Wow, everyone is really peaceful this morning." Weiss couldn't believe it after what happened last night.

"Well hey, shit happened, not much we can do to change it." Jeremiah said as they couldn't believe how cool he was with this.

"But aren't you at least curious about who your…Biological father is?" Weiss asked being careful with the words.

"Not really, besides, why do I need to know when I got Fuckface McAsslick over here?" Jeremiah said as his dad rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me regret not picking the asian baby over you!" He said as Jeremiah looked at him.

"Oh, I've been making you regret that for the last 22 years haven't I now old man?" He was being a smart ass.

"If I had known telling you that you were adopted would turn you into a bigger smart ass, I would have just kept you in the dark." He grumbled as Jeremiah was reveling in the sweet taste of victory.

Neo was currently munching on a breakfast of pancakes with a whipped cream face, and had also helped herself to one of Jeremiah's juicy juice boxes. Why a grown man had juicy juice, she would never know. All she knew was that it was delicious.

Meanwhile Roman had to sit at a different table, because the family refused to kick Zeus out of his seat because Roman didn't have a seat.

" _I can't believe their dog takes priority over me…"_ Roman thought as he sat in the corner eating his pancakes.

"So Little Neo, how is school going?" Momma asked as Neo started to sign to Torchwick so he could translate.

" _I am creating my own army of minions! Tomorrow we rob the school's milk carton supply! Mwa ha ha ha!"_ Was what she said, but Roman wasn't going to say that.

"She said, she is having fun and making friends." Roman said as Neo glared at him.

" _That is not what I said! I said we were going to rob a school!"_ Gosh, Roman really sucked at understanding sign language.

"So, we were all wondering, would you like to go on a road trip with us?" Momma asked as the group looked up.

"Where to?" Jeremiah asked as school was still cancelled for him.

Now some university students were complaining about 'Smart Privilege' and how it wasn't fair that smarter students had more opportunities available to them then students who were not as smart, so the college was now being forced to lower it's standards and admit more students into classes they didn't qualify for.

Jeremiah was starting to consider transferring to a different university, I mean, he could easily do it, he only had one semester left anyways.

"All over the place, we'll start small, maybe in the Midwestern states aside from our own, and work our way west." Dale said as Jeremiah got a look on his face.

"In that case, could we make a quick stop here?" He asked as he wrote down a location and handed it to his dad.

"Sure, but…what is there?" He asked as Jeremiah looked towards his friends.

"Someone important to them." He said as Team RWBY, JNPR and Winter were confused.

They weren't from this world, what could be there?

"Well, I suppose we have to get going, your aunt needs my help with her kid, the little girl is more energetic than Nora over there." Momma said as she cleared the table.

"And I got to get back to work." Pa said as he got ready to leave.

"What was the place you marked on the map?" Winter asked as Jeremiah looked at them.

"The memorial to Monty Oum." Everyone went quiet as he said that.

They knew who he was. They knew he was their creator, in a way, he was their father. When they heard he died, they couldn't explain why the felt so sad, but in a way, months ago, they did feel like something was missing from their lives, but they couldn't figure out what it was. Little did they know, that they somehow actually FELT it when Monty passed away.

Once they heard about who created them, they wanted to meet him, but then they heard the news that he had passed away. And that was a sad day for all of them. Especially Ren, he took it the hardest.

He woke up one day feeling like something had changed, but he couldn't figure out what. He still was the same man, in the same body. But then he heard about his voice actor, his voice actor was Monty himself, the reason why he felt different was that Ren was voiced by his brother after his death.

It actually scared him, to think that while he was the same person, he was also a different person. It was almost like he had two souls within him. One of the late and great Monty Oum, and the other being his brother.

Either way, learning about Monty's death, was almost like learning his own, he may have been a piece of every single character there, but Ren had a deeper connection, and that connection was gone. He just hoped that he could pay his respects to the man who made him.

"Are you sure about this?" Winter asked as she didn't know what to feel.

"The man is the reason you all exist, I think paying him a visit would be good for all of us." Jeremiah leaned back in his chair and sighed.

In all honesty, he had never watched RWBY until after Monty's death, when he learned about RWBY it was due to his cousin, and instantly he was hooked on the show. When he learned about his death, he was surprised, for some reason he found himself wishing he had been a fan of his work sooner, almost as if it would make him feel closer to the man.

But he was, it wasn't until months later that he stumbled on a video he saw as a kid called _Haloid,_ and when he saw in the credits, that the name listed as the creator was Monty Oum, he couldn't believe it, he had actually known about Monty long before RWBY, and it surprised him. That the man who created one of his favorite childhood animations was the same one behind RWBY, and in a way, he suddenly felt something, he felt a sense of loss.

He was not saying it compared to the friends and family who lost a brother/son/friend, there was no way he could ever compare that sense of loss to any of them, but what he could understand was how someone could grow to love someone so much, and the empty feeling when you realize that they're gone.

Jeremiah was not a perfect man, not by a long shot, but Monty Oum became one of the people who inspired him to be better than himself. He still made mistakes, and he still had his shares of failures, but he kept going, because that is what Monty would have done.

"It's strange, it's almost like visiting your own grave." Ren said as he looked down, not touching his breakfast.

"I know Ren, it's scary, but this may be an opportunity you never get again…" Jeremiah put a hand on Ren's shoulder, offering support.

"I suppose…" Ren was still unsure about it.

"Look Ren, we're all here behind you all the way." Nora said as everyone nodded.

"Yeah Ren, you don't have to be alone on this." Jaune said as he nodded.

"I appreciate that." But it was still a haunting thought.

 **BACK IN JEREMIAH'S COLLEGE HOME**

A bright flash occurred as two figures stepped out of the light. One was a man dressed in a simple black suit with a green tie and a pair of spectacles upon his face. While the other was a woman in business casual attire, with a few modifications to her outfit of course.

"You look more like a CEO now." Ozpin said as Glynda huffed.

"Well, I didn't want to look too OUT OF PLACE." She said as she left her cape and boots in Remnant.

Oum knows, she didn't want to have to deal with perverts getting the wrong idea. So she settled with a pair of regular pants with a suit jacket and her regular blouse underneath. Her boots were switched out with a regular pair of dress shoes. Something that would look much more reasonable to the people around here.

"What an odd house." Ozpin said as he looked around.

He saw various types of weapons scattered around the house, ranging from a bow and arrow to a flintlock pistol.

"Well, whoever live here must be a historian of some kind." Glynda said holding up some of the display pieces.

"Either that, or some collector with too much time on their hands." Ozpin said as he came across a picture.

"Well, at least we can ensure our students are in good hands." He said as he showed a picture to Glynda.

She took a look at at a group photo, with both teams dressed in regular attire for this world, with some bearded man in the middle with a whiskey flask in his hand as he gave the camera a wink.

"Great, another person with a fondness for alcohol." As if Ironwood and Qrow with their concealed flasks weren't enough.

"Come now Glynda, everyone has a vice." Ozpin stated as Goodwitch sighed.

"Sometimes I get the feeling you're too easy on people." She said as she put the photo down.

"As long as he has kept them out of trouble, I don't see the problem." He said as Glynda took out the aura detector.

"Well, they're not too far from here, about thirty two miles North." She said as he looked at the tracking device.

"So not too far, well, we better get to walking." He said as he opened the door.

Only for below zero winds and snow to blast him right in the face. He closed the door as he turned around, his glasses covered with snow. He sighed and wiped the snow from his glasses as he put them back on.

"It would appear that they managed to arrive in the winter time, and we didn't pack any winter clothes…" He said as Glynda groaned.

"And we can't use our semblances to help with transportation because of risk of discovery." She said as that was one rule they had.

No use of a semblance whatsoever, otherwise you would risk creating panic.

"Well, I suppose we look around for anything we can use as protection. After all, we have a long ways to walk." Ozpin said as Glynda looked annoyed.

"We can't take a cab?" She asked as Ozpin looked at her.

"With what money?" He reminded her that they were not of this world, and Lien was useless here.

"Damn it, the things we do for students." Goodwitch said as she walked into a random room.

"Oh, well isn't that convenient?" She asked as she opened a closet door.

She saw a closet full of Camouflage winter gear, along with multiple Balaclavas. Why did someone need all of this?

"Seems our savior has a camouflage obsession." He looked up and saw a sign.

"Only use if you are required to fight in Militia…what an odd person." Ozpin didn't see why he would need to fight in a militia.

"You saw the history files on this planet, these Americans are crazy." She said as she got into some of the winter gear.

"If by crazy, you mean patriotic, then we agree." Ozpin was actually surprised at how much they learned about this country.

"Who keeps a photo like this?" Goodwitch said as she looked over on the wall.

It was a photo of a plate of bacon, nothing else, just bacon, and lots of it, next to it was a pistol on the right hand side for quick access, and on the other side was black coffee, and next to the coffee was a bottle of whiskey. And the photo read.

"An American Breakfast." Ozpin read the title of the photo.

"Why would you need a gun at breakfast?" She asked as she didn't understand this country's obsession with guns.

"You realize we run a school meant to train warriors right?" Ozpin pointed out as guns at breakfast were a normal thing.

"But these aren't beacon students or soldiers, these are just regular civilians." She said as she looked over at the framed document next to it.

" _Second Amendment:_ _A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." The photo said as she saw portraits._

One was a man with a mustache and some kind of spectacles, his name was listed as Theodore Roosevelt.

Another was of a man with white hair, labeled Number one, his name was listed as George Washington.

And the final two were of an elderly man standing next to an American flag, his name was listed as Ronald Reagan.

While the final one had sort of that movie star good looks, and his name was listed as John F Kennedy.

"My top four?" Glynda asked as she didn't understand who these men were.

"Glynda, we may as well stop questioning it. At this point, we may as well just get on the road. We have a long way to go, and it would be best if we don't question how things in this world go." Ozpin finished as he got ready to face the cold.

"Well, here we go." He said as he put a scarf around his face and walked out into the cold.

It was then that Ozpin and Glynda learned one very important fact.

Winters in the Midwest….SUCK ASS!


	44. Drunken Antics

**Well everyone as you know, we are almost to an end to Arc 1 of Out of Place, its been a fun ride, and I hope Arc 2 will be even better. But for now, lets get through this, I have six chapters to wrap up Arc 1, and trust me, its going to be YUUUGGE.**

 **Well, not YUUUGE as in Chapter size, more like YUUUGE as in awesome.**

 **YUGE**

 **Here we go.**

* * *

"This is bullshit." Glynda said as they were walking in the snow for about an hour now.

"Well, nothing like a nice walk through the cold winter air." Ozpin knew bring his thermos along was a good idea.

"Say what you want, this weather is miserable." Glynda usually wasn't one to complain about the weather.

But considering that when she coughed, and a bit of spit flew out onto her shoe and instantly froze, it was damn cold out, and she had a right to complain because they had just come from a fairly warm season and world, to this frozen over hell. What kind of people could live here?

"WOOOO!" A man in a convertible passed by as he was shirtless and wearing a cheesehead and driving back to Wisconsin. **(1)**

"…..What the hell is wrong with these people?" She asked herself as that man wasn't even wearing a shirt, and who in the hell wears a cheesehead as a hat?

"What a hearty people." Ozpin couldn't believe that guy was driving a convertible in the snow with his shirt off while they were bundled up trying to keep warm.

"Well, at least this world isn't as dangerous as we thought it was." Glynda was trying to look on the bright side.

"On the bright side, we only have ten more miles to go." He said as he looked at the tracker.

"Ten more miles of frozen misery, great." She said as he trudged along.

"Come now Glynda, I am sure that this journey will be worth it." He said as he continued to walk forward without a care in the world.

 **AT THE HOUSE**

"Is it just me? Or does your personality change with different alcohol?" Winter asked as Jeremiah was now drunk again, this time on Scotch

Only this time, it wasn't the 'Go out and fuck shit up' kind of drunk, he was wearing a robe while he had a pipe in his hand and was lifting his pinkie up as he took a sip like a sophisticated gentleman.

"Verily I say that you dare try to describe my exuberant personality, but alas, your endevours willprove to be in vain, for my personality when sipping on this delightful Laguvulin is far too extraneous to describe." Okay this was weird, apparently he was a lot more well worded when he drank Scotch. **(2)**

"Okay, I don't like this." Winter had been trying to make him act more like a gentleman, but this was too much.

"Drink this Rum." She said as he scoffed.

"Ah Madame, I do not engage in such frivolities such as the consumption of sweet alcoholic beverages, I prefer my liquor as bitter as they appea-" He was cut off by by Winter shoving the bottle into his mouth.

"For Oum's sake, if I knew trying to make you into a gentleman was going to turn you into this, I would never try that." She said as all of those etiquette and vocabulary lessons were coming back to bite her in the ass.

"YAARRRGGH!" Jeremiah said as he went through a personality change.

"Arr, I be searching for the booty!" He said as Winter facepalmed.

"Okay, maybe that was a bad ide-" She was cut off as he picked her up.

"H-HEY!" She said as he was carrying her over his shoulder.

"I FOUND THE BOOTY!" He said as Winter got a blush on her face.

"PUT ME DOWN!" Why did she give him Rum?

"THE BOOTY CAN TALK!" Jeremiah said in shock as he stared at the booty.

"Does this happen a lot?" Ren asked his parents as they just sat down and laughed.

"Oh yeah, his personality changes all the time when he's drunk, when he drinks too much Kentucky bourbon, he think's he's a cavalryman in the civil war, one time I even caught him slashing at a tree thinking it was a Rebel…or a Yankee, I couldn't tell." Dale said as his son was weird.

"Well that explains when he met Jaune…" Ren said remembering how he slashed at Jaune with a sword.

"Wait, this could be a fun experiment." Jaune said as he grabbed another bottle.

"Hey Jeremiah! Look what I got!" He yelled as Jeremiah set Winter down.

"Yarrghh, I be back for the booty." He said with a wink.

Winter just buried her face into her hand with a large blush on her face as Weiss was surprisingly laughing.

"What's so funny?" She asked as Weiss looked at her.

"You chose to date him, you got to pay the price." Maybe this wouldn't be so bad for Weiss after all.

"WOOOO!" Jeremiah had now turned his hat sideways and was wearing a tank top with jean shorts.

"Gimme five!" He said to Jaune.

"AH PSYCH! NERD!" Jeremiah's parents groaned.

"Oh come no! You never give him Jager! That's the drink of douchebags!" Momma said Nora gave Jeremiah another bottle.

"Here maybe this will help." Jeremiah took hold of the bottle and downed a few gulps.

"Ohmygod Girlfriend! I have soooooo many things to tell you about!" He grabbed Nora as he got a weird accent.

"What the hell did you give him?" Winter asked as he was acting like a girl now.

"Some kind of fruity drink." Nora said as Jeremiah's elder brother came by.

"Hey those are mine!" He said as took the bottle from Nora's hand.

"Like, I was just on a date yesterday, when this guy in this tacky, ratty sweater comes up to and says 'Hey, give me your wallet!' And I was like, Uh Uh sweetie, you ain't getting any of this tod-" And once again another bottle was put in his mouth.

"This is kind of fun." Ruby said as she picked a bottle.

"RUBY!" Yang didn't want her sister touching alcohol.

"What? Nora did it." Ruby pointed out as Nora could be as childish as Ruby could be.

Jeremiah got a very serious look on his face as he looked at Winter deep in the eyes.

"YOU….ME…..KISS…..NOW." He said in a deep Russian accent.

"And there goes Vodka." Dale said as he handed Jeremiah another different drink.

"Hey…" Winter wasn't done with this version of Jeremiah. It was actually kind of attractive to see him act more dominant.

"Oh here is a good one." Jameson said as he took a sip of his Peach Snapps.

"Okay screw that, I'm not drinking that." Jeremiah said as he pushed that drink away.

"What?" Jameson was surprised.

"Dude, this is a craft beer, I'm not a hipster, and I don't want to be one." Jeremiah said as that was his moment of clarity.

He then used that moment of clarity to go over to his liquor cabinet, and get out a different kind of alcohol.

"AH! HERE WE GO!" He was holding some kind of red liquid.

"What in the world is that?" Winter asked as Jeremiah poured two shots, one for her, and one for him.

"Tonight, you drink with me, За любовь!" He said something in some weird language.

"Uhm, Okay." She had no idea what she just said.

She downed the shot, it left a burning feeling in the back of her throat, and because she was not used to alcohol, she did cough a bit. But it also had a strange iron like taste to it.

"What was that?" She said as Jeremiah took another shot of it.

Suddenly she noiced there was something in the bottle of alcohol. And it was long.

"Snake Vodka." He said as Winter looked at him like he was crazy.

"SNAKE VODKA?!" She hated snakes.

"Good yes?" She felt the urge to slap him.

"In Vietnam, they give you beating snake heart shot, its really good." He said as Winter was a bit grossed out.

"Why would anyone try that?" She asked as that didn't sound appetizing.

"Believe it or not, its quite nice." Jeremiah had tried it when he went on a trip to Vietnam.

He ended up winning the tickets in a competition, it was a stroke of good luck, and he used it well.

"You're never making me drink that again." She said as he smiled.

"I got the drink for you." He said as he went over to the counter top.

Suddenly weird music started playing as he started to mix a drink, the weird thing was when Winter looked back to look at him, he was suddenly in a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts.

"H-How did you change clothes so fast?" She asked as he drunkenly said.

"This is fanfiction, I don't have to explain shit." He said as he was making the drink.

"Okay, and apparently being drunk causes him to spout weird logic…" Ren said as Nora grinned.

"He sees it too…." She trailed off in a creepy voice.

" _IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS! AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN!"_ The music blared as Jeremiah was dancing fairly decent, good thing the lessons with Jaune paid off.

"…." Winter honestly didn't know what to say as Jeremiah was moving his hips to the music.

"And here we go!" He said as he gave Winter a drink.

"What is this?" She asked as it looked weird.

"Pineapple juice, White rum and coconut cream, I give you a Pina colada." He said as the radio changed.

"OH YEAH!" He said as he started dancing.

"Hmm..not bad." She said as she took a drink.

"Come and get your love!" Jeremiah sang as he grabbed Winter by the hand.

"Hey what are you doing?!" She asked as she was still trying to drink.

"Dancing!" He said as he continued to sing to the song.

"Come and get your love!" He said as he swung Winter out as she just tried not to spill her drink.

"Wow, he was never this energetic when dancing before." Momma said as he usually stayed in the corner.

"I guess Winter actually wanting to date him gave him a confidence boost, either that or it's the booze." Pa said as he took a swig of Rum.

"You're ridiculous." Winter said as she was dipped again.

"AND DRUNK!" He said as he set her down and started to dance.

"Come and get your love, come and get your love now!" He was now twirling around like Star Lord in Guardians of the galaxy.

"Great, now we get to see his obsession with Chris Pratt…." Dale said as he rolled his eyes.

As if his son having an odd man crush wasn't enough, he even had the jacket from Guardians of the galaxy with him when he started dancing to the soundtrack. Well, at least now he could actually dance instead of flailing around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Otherwise he would have beaten him for looking so stupid by now.

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK

"Oh someone is at the door, I'll go get it." Pa said as he got up since he wasn't as drunk.

Who could be at the door this late? They weren't expecting visitors were they? Hopefully not the IRS, lord knows, as soon as he got a permit to legally make moonshine, they were constantly after him for extra tax money when he already filled out all the forms that a new business has to fill out, and went to multiple meetings with multiple tax agents in order to get this mess sorted out, but the IRS was a blood sucking leech, whatever happened to Americans saying no to higher taxes? When did that go out the window?

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK

"I'm coming!" Pa said as he had his gun with him just in case it was the IRS.

CLICK

He opened the door and saw a couple. One seemed to be a middle aged man with silver hair and glasses, who was sipping coffee from a thermos, while the other was a middle aged woman with very…very nice breasts. Granted, he saw she was very attractive and stern, and he was married, so no hitting on the lady.

"Yes?" He asked as the elderly man spoke up.

"Yes, I am looking for some of my students, eight of them? Strange hair? Dressed strangely?" He asked politely as Dale yelled into the house.

"JEREMIAH!" He yelled as he got a response.

"WHAT?!" He drunkenly yelled.

"THERE'S SOME TEACHING MAN AND LADY HERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS!" He yelled as Goodwitch was covering her ears.

"IF IT'S THOSE SAFE SPACE PUSSIES, TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!" Jeremiah said as he was now carrying Winter Fireman style.

"Are you those safe space people?" He asked as Glynda spoke up.

"What in the world is a safe space?" Goodwitch asked as the man laughed.

"NOPE! THEY AIN'T THE SAFE SPACE PUSSIES!" The man yelled as Glynda did not like the language.

"OH OKAY! THEN WHO ARE THEY?!" He yelled as he fell down.

"Who are you?" He asked being polite once more.

"Uhm, I'm Professor Ozpin, this is Professor Goodwitch." Ozpin had never met a fellow this strange.

"THE WIZARD OF OZ AND GLYNDA THE GOODWITCH ARE HERE FOR YOU!" Dale yelled as the two professors looked confused.

"Wizard of Oz?" He asked as he didn't understand what was going on.

"No, my name IS Glynda Goodwitch, not Glynda THE goodwitch, what are you talking about?" She asked as Jeremiah got to thinking.

"Wait…Glynda the good-…NO FREAKING WAY! PA! LET THEM IN!" Jeremiah yelled as Dale moved aside.

"Come in, wipe your feet." He said as both of them hurried in.

"Thank Oum! Do you have any idea how cold it is out there?" Glynda asked as the weather was miserable.

"Well, about -20 degrees out with snow." Dale said as both professors walked into the dining room.

"PROFESSOR OZPIN!" The eight teens yelled as they stood to attention.

"Come now Children, I'm not a soldier, you can relax….wait, where is the elder Schnee?" Ozpin asked as they had sent her ahead.

"Over there." They said as they heard giggling.

Only to see that Winter was slightly buzzed and currently in a tickle fight with the bearded man from the photos.

"Well….this is certainly an odd sight."

* * *

 **(1) If you have ever watched Football and you don't get this reference, shame on you.**

 **(2) I'm an idiot, and when I drink different types of booze, I will tend to act in a way like the booze, not because I'm drunk, but because its fun to act like that.**


	45. Telling The Truth

**Chapter 45 is here**

* * *

"Well, this is an interesting development." Ozpin asked as Winter was currently cuddled up on the couch with Jeremiah, while his students were on two different couches.

"How did you get here?" Ruby asked as he just gave them a look.

"Why, the same way Miss Winter got here, you didn't really think we couldn't recreate the dust did you?" He asked with a smirk as she blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh yeah…Oops, what I meant is, why you two? I mean, don't you need to be back to run the school?" She asked as Ozpin shrugged.

"The school is out of session in preparation for the Vytal tournament in a few months, did you forget?" He asked as they shook their heads.

"Of course not! It's just that, we've been here for awhile, and you lose track of time and places." Yang said as Ozpin nodded.

"OH WAIT!" Ruby said as she suddenly got a very serious look on her face.

"Miss Rose?" Ozpin asked as this was uncharacteristic.

"Momma, Pa? Could you leave us alone?" Weiss asked as the two adults nodded.

"Why sure! If it's important, just remember, tell those two professors if they bother you, I still go that gatling gun set up!" He said as he walked out of the room.

"What could be your concern?" Ozpin asked as he went to take a sip of coffee.

"We know about the Maidens." Ruby said as Ozpin stopped suddenly.

"You mean the fairy tale? Miss Rose don't be so-" Suddenly Pyrrha stood up.

"We know about Amber, we know about her attack, we know about Ruby's silver eyes. And we know that the schools are built on top of a chamber meant to protect the maidens." She said as Ozpin's eyes slightly widened.

"How do you know?" Glynda couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Well, what if we told you that we saw it happen?" Ruby said as the two looked confused.

"Are you saying you can see the future?" Ozpin asked a bit skeptical.

"No, HE showed us the future." Ruby said as she brought over a laptop.

"Just watch this." She said as she set it up in front of Ozpin and Glynda.

"What is this?" Ozpin asked as a video started to play.

" _All this time, it was right beneath our noses." Cinder said to Ozpin as Amber's body laid lifeless in front of her._

Ozpin gripped his mug tighter as he realized what was going on. The woman who had stolen the fall maiden's powers was in their chamber, and she had finished the job.

" _You're just as arrogant as she said you were." Cinder said with venom in her voice._

"Where did you get this?" Goodwitch asked with an icy look in her face.

"Well, I used to have them on DVD, but then Ruby broke them, now I just go on the internet to find them." Jeremiah said as he woke up, while still slightly drunk, but legible.

"And who are you?" She asked as she wished she had her riding crop.

"Jeremiah Richard Cotton, and I am the one who revealed the truth to them." He said as he mimicked Ozpin.

"How did you get this? This never happened, and how do you know about the hidden chambers?" Goodwitch asked as Ozpin remained silent.

"*Sigh* Look, you already know that you traveled to another dimension." He said as a weird song started playing.

 _Do do do do do._

"Really Nora? Twilight Zone?" He asked as she turned her boombox off.

"So tell me...what is your favorite fairy tale?" He asked as Winter smacked him upside the head.

"Ow." He said as he held his head.

"You are not starting off this conversation by acting like Ozpin." She said as that was a noticeable quote stolen from the show.

"Okay fine, Look the point is, when Ruby and the others mixed up that dust, it transported them here, to my world, a world where your world is completely fictional." Glynda was skeptical.

"Fictional?" She asked as he looked towards Ozpin and Glynda.

"Yes, weren't you curious about why my dad called you 'The Wizard of Oz' and 'Glynda the Goodwitch?" Jeremiah asked as they nodded.

"We were, but we didn't expect this." Ozpin said as he was curious to know more.

"Okay, here is the short version, each and every character in this room was based on something else, Ruby for example is based on Little Red Riding Hood." He said as he pointed to Ruby.

"Huh, weird, Roman calls me Little Red all the time…" She said as she saw the connection.

"Yang is Goldilocks." He pointed to Yang next.

"Goldilocks? Sounds weird." She said as what kind of name was Goldilocks?

"Blake is Beauty and the Beast, for reasons I will not say." He said as that was kind of private.

" _Adam…."_ She had a good feeling who the beast was.

"Weiss, well I think she's Snow white." He said as Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Great, more Ice puns." She was happy to hear that.

"Team JNPR is based off of people who crossdressed." The other possible explanation was heroes who died a matyr in their stories/histories, but he didn't want them to know that.

"Jaune is based off of the French Heroine Joan of Arc, the maid of Orleans." He said as Jaune nodded.

"And a little unsettling once you learn that she was burned at the stake." That made him worry after he saw that Cinder used fire, wondered if it was foreshadowing

"Nora is based on the Norse God of Thunder, Thor." That actually made Nora happy.

"Hey cool! I'm a god!" She flexed her muscles.

"Explains her semblance…" Goodwitch knew that Ms. Valkyrie could channel electricity.

"Pyrrha is based off of the Ancient Greek hero Achilles, and unforutantely, she met his same fate…" Pyrrha clenched Jaune's hand at the reminder of her death.

"And Ren is based off of the Chinese legend of Mulan." He said as Nora spoke up.

"Wait! You mean the Disney movie?!" She couldn't believe it.

"Well, what the Disney movie was based off of." He said as Nora looked at Ren.

"I KNEW THAT MOVIE SEEMED FAMILIAR!" She said as Ren groaned.

"As for you two, you and your group was based off of Four characters from a movie called 'The Wizard of Oz.' Glynda would be based off of Glynda The Goodwitch." He said while pulling up a picture.

"Looks ridiculous…" She said as she had never seen someone dressed so strangely.

"Ozpin as the wizard himself." He showed Ozpin a picture of the Wizard both behind the curtain and when he was finally revealed.

"General Ironwood is the tin man, or as the man who is looking for a heart, much like you pointed out Glynda, 'Sometimes I wonder if he even has a heart.' Sound Familiar?" He asked as Glynda went silent.

She had thought that about James, but she never pictured it would be something like this. She still couldn't believe this whole story.

"And Uncle Qrow, well, he's based off the scarecrow who didn't have a brain." Glynda actually got a slight chuckle out of that.

"Figures." She said as the man could sometimes be the epitome of bird brain.

"Yeah, loser." Jeremiah said as he took a swig of whiskey from his flask.

"Oh you got to be kidding me!" Glynda couldn't freaking believe it.

First Qrow, then Ironwood, and now THIS GUY! It was almost like she was doomed to be around people who had a bit of a drinking problem.

"Anyways, that's the basis, but basically, in my world, your world is part of an animated web series, but in your world, its completely real. Basically, you're world has its fairy tales, but to us, YOU are a fairy tale." He said as both Ozpin and Glynda went silent.

"Wow, it is weird being on the other end of this." Ozpin said as everyone facepalmed.

"Wow, really, that's all you have to say? I practically tell you everything you know is wrong, and that's what you say?" Jeremiah said as he was a little disappointed.

"Young man, I have seen many strange and mysterious things in my life, finding out that there are alternate realities is just another Tuesday." He said as Ruby spoke up.

"There's still one problem." Ruby said as she looked serious again.

"And that is?" Ozpin asked as Jeremiah spoke up.

"All your plans fail." Jeremiah said as they narrowed their eyes.

"Meaning?" Glynda asked.

"Beacon falls, the grimm invade, Pyrrha dies at the hands of Cinder fall, Ozpin…well, its hard to explain, Team RWBY and JNPR are disbanded, Blake is off doing god knows what, Yang is going through rehab for her arm.." He was cut off by Ozpin.

"Arm?" He asked as that didn't sound good.

"It was cut off by the leader of the White fang." He said as Glynda looked shocked.

"Ironwood's army is hacked, and Vale is evacuated, all of your plans, they all go wrong, and people suffer for it." Jeremiah said as seriously as he could.

Both Ozpin and Glynda couldn't believe it, you may as well have told them that no matter what they did, it wouldn't change anything. They were so careful to hide the truth, so careful to stop the worst from happening, but in the end, according to this man, it didn't make a difference.

"That being said, you have a chance to change this." He said as they looked up.

"Like I said, the world of Remnant is in much better hands, because now that you know what is going to happen, you can do a better job of preparing for it." He said as he sat down.

"All the information you need is on this website, you can watch and learn from it, and take precautions to stop all the crazy shit from happening, you could save a lot of lives, and possibly prevent the fall of beacon." He said as Ozpin raised a brow.

"Possibly?" He asked as Jeremiah sighed and took a swig of whiskey.

"Please tell me you're not always drunk." Glynda was really hoping he wasn't like Qrow.

"Not always, about half and half." He said while being a smart ass.

"Look the point, knowing all of this beforehand may change a few things, but we don't know what it will do on a mass scale, it's possible that once they realize they can't complete their attack on Vale, Salem may reroute her plans." He said as they both winced at the name.

"Like I said, you can watch this and plan ahead, which reminds me, where is Ironwood?" He asked as he was surprised she didn't come with.

"He stayed behind." Ozpin said as Jeremiah sighed.

"Dang, would have been better if he came along, look the point is, you might want to warn him beforehand that his machines are going to go haywire, maybe bring in more human troops, honestly we don't want things going down the terminator route." He said as they looked confused.

"Sorry, old sci fi movie, the point is, shit hits the fan, and if you don't go to shut off the fan, you're all going to get covered in shit." He said as he was getting slightly drunk.

"You're….not really good with words are you?" Glynda said as that was kind of a vulgar way of putting it.

"Sorry, I'm slightly drunk, this is what happens when I drink cheap whiskey." He said as went to go lay down.

"Anyways, you got a laptop, you got the facts, I'm going to go lay back down on my lap pillow and get ready for a hangover." He said as he laid his head on Winter's lap again and immediately passed out.

Winter rolled her eyes as she couldn't believe this was happening in front of two professors of Beacon.

"Well, Miss Schnee, it looks like you have grown close to one of the inhabitants during your stay." Ozpin said as she looked away.

"He has his charm." She said as he unlike some people she knew, he had a certain type of charm when he was sober, and surprisingly when he was drunk.

"I'm afraid that won't end well…" Glynda muttered, but Winter could barely hear him.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" She asked as Glynda stood up.

"That's not going to end well…for either of you." She said as Winter looked at her.

"What do you mean?" She asked as Glynda could see these two had grown close.

"You don't get it, this isn't our world." Goodwitch said as Winter started to understand what she was saying.

"You don't mean…"She started to say before Goodwitch sighed.

"I'm sorry Miss Schnee, but I'm afraid you'll have to leave him, we have to return to our home."


	46. Argument and Plans

**Chapter 46, four more chapters to go to wrap up Arc 1.**

* * *

"You can't be serious?" Winter said as she was alone with Glynda.

"I'm afraid I am Miss Schnee, we came here to take you back, and you have to go back, you have your career in the Atlesian Army, and with this 'War' we're trying to prevent, we'll need you now more and ever." Glynda said as Winter looked back at her sleeping boyfriend.

"I know, I know I'm needed, but you're saying that we'll go and we won't be able to come back." She said as she didn't want to leave Jeremiah behind.

"I know you don't want to leave him, but you'll have to." Glynda said as that was an unfortunate truth.

"You're from different worlds, you can't be together." Literally, they were from different worlds.

"Why does that matter if I Lo-" Winter cut herself off there, there was no way she LOVED him…right? They had only really known each other for at most a month.

People couldn't fall in love that fast? Right?

"Miss Schnee, I read your profile, an excellent soldier, obeys orders, takes overtime, and you never once let your personal life get in the way of your professional life, why change that for him?" She asked as he wasn't that remarkable.

"He's a drunk, he's childish, he's a fool, what do you see in him?" She said as she wasn't trying to be mean, but honest.

"That FOOL gave you more intel in a minute then you got from Qrow in an entire year! And he may be a drunk, but you still keep Qrow around!" She said trying to defend her boyfriend.

"Qrow is a skilled Huntsman, Jeremiah is a regular civilian, the two are nothing alike." Goodwitch was trying to make her see reason.

"I still can't go in there and say 'Hey, it was good, but now I have to leave, and I'm not coming back.'" She said as she knew what Ozpin and Glynda were planning to do.

They were going to treat this like a Quarantine, which would mean cutting off all communication from this world, they did the same thing to places like Mountain Glenn and various Grimm infested villages, they were going to close the portal and never come back.

They didn't say it, but Winter knew it, she was briefed on the hazards of this world before she came, miracously she didn't catch any sort of virus or plague like they were worried about, but there was no doubt in her mind that the council when they found out about this would demand that this world be sealed off entirely. Not just for Quarantine reasons, but also to prevent the wrong people from invading a world full of people without Aura.

Winter was sure of one thing, they would not be able to return.

"I know it's hard to let someone go, but we have all had to sacrifice something for this cause." Glynda was being truthful.

Glynda was not always the no nonsense ball breaker that the students saw her as, she was in a relationship before she joined Ozpin in his mission, and as much as she loved the man beforehand, it wasn't fair for him for her to go out and live a second life, while he stayed home wondering where she was, and if she was okay, in the end they both agreed it was the best thing for them. Even though it hurt them more then they cared to admit. While the pain still remained in Glynda's heart, she had to be strong for the rest of humanity.

"I can't just drop everything and leave!" She knew she had responsibilities, and of course she would follow them, but at the same time she was leaving Jeremiah…for good.

And she didn't want to happen, but at the same time, she didn't want to leave her life behind. She would have to make a choice. And she didn't like either one.

"So you mean to tell me, I'm damned if I go, but damned if I stay." She said as there was no way out of this.

Either way, she would be leaving something precious behind. She had to think this over.

"We won't be leaving right away, after all, we found Roman Torchwick and his associate upstairs, they will be taken back first, I believe we can give you a few days to say your goodbyes." Goodwitch was giving Winter some time to think about it.

"A few days? A few days? How am I supposed to tell him that in three days I'll be leaving?" She asked as Glynda sighed.

"I wish I had the answer, but I don't. That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself." She said as she walked away.

Winter leaned her back against the wall. What was she going to do? Jeremiah and her hadn't even been dating that long...well officially at least, they were bonding long before they officially announced themselves as dating, but she had grown rather fond of him in that time. She didn't know how to describe the feeling, and she was sure he felt it too. And that was a problem.

She didn't know how to control this feeling, and her feelings were getting in the way of her carrying out her duties. Something that NEVER happened before in her life, and that was scary. This was completely new, how did she deal with this? How could she go back to her old life feeling what she did now?

And how would Jeremiah feel? He had been heartbroken before, but what now? He was starting to open up to her. If she left now, he may grow to hate her. A pain went through her heart as she thought of that..would Jeremiah hate her? She shook her head of those thoughts, No, not even when she tried to kill him did he even think of her in a negative light.

But the worst part was that she knew she would be leaving him here all alone, with his crazy furry ex still after him. She made a promise to protect him if he couldn't do it himself, but now she would have to break that promise.

The more she thought about it, the worse it got.

"Winter…." Jeremiah had heard the entire conversation.

"Jeremiah…I…" Crap, this was not how she wanted him to find out.

"I know…I heard what you said." He said as he knew she didn't want to leave him.

"I'm sorry, I should have known this was going to happen." She said as she really didn't want this to end.

"I know." Jeremiah was trying to be understanding.

"I mean, if I remembered, then maybe we wouldn't have-" She was cut off by Jeremiah.

"Wouldn't have what? Learned to come out of our shells?" He asked as he crossed his arms.

"What do you mean?" She asked, unsure of what to think.

"Winter, look at us, two different people, two different lifestyles, and two different worlds, we are as different as we could possibly be, but we CLICKED, we opened up to each other in ways that neither of us thought possible, I mean look at us." He said as he spread his arms.

"We were completely oblivious to the fact that the other one liked the other as well, while we may be so different, we learned we had more in common than we think, and you know what else?" He said as he walked up to Winter.

"I wouldn't trade it for anything, before I was scared of entering into another relationship, there was the girl who broke my heart and made me fear getting into another serious relationship, and of course you did meet 'Tigerstripe' so as you can see, I was hesitant about getting close to someone." He said as Winter nodded.

"As was I, while I still can't believe that it was you who I grew attached to, I won't deny that we have a bond, before I simply only cared about work, but you wormed your way into my heart, and while at first it was annoying like a blood sucking tick." She wasn't really good at this.

"Okay ouch." Jeremiah said unsure of where this was going.

"That was back when I first met you, but as I got to know you, I realized there was much more to you than the drunken idiot who I chased up the Sears tower." She said as Jeremiah's eyes lit up.

"Hey! You got the name right!" He said as she wasn't calling it the Willis tower anymore.

"Shut up, the point is, you showed me that there was more to you, and surprisingly there were aspects of my personality I didn't even realized I had, before I admit I could be a bit of a shut in when it came to my feelings, but we discovered those together, and I'm glad we did." She was being completely honest with herself.

They both smiled as they leant in for a kiss, nothing abrupt like their first kiss, and not something that was in a hospital bed. But just a regular kiss, but to them it might as well have been the best damn kiss the ever had. Electricity soared through their spines, their faces heating up with the amount of blood rushing to their heads, and the gentle caress of a hand on each others faces.

"AAWWWW!" Nora said as they broke apart.

"Wow, seriously Nora? Way to ruin the moment." Jeremiah said as something like this always happened.

"But you two looked so cute!" She said as Goodwitch came down with Torchwick, who was trying to get Neo to let go of the stairway post.

"NEO! Come on! We have to go!" For once, Torchwick was complying with the law.

After all, siding with Cinder didn't do much for him. The only problem was Neo didn't want to go.

" _NO! I want to stay here!"_ Neo was holding onto the banister like a little kid.

"Mr. Torchwick! What is going on?" Momma said as she saw Neo reluctant to go.

"Well, this kind lady has offered me a full job with benefits, so we will have to relocate, but…Neo doesn't want to leave." He said as Momma looked at Neo.

" _Please! I like it here!"_ Neo signed as she loved it here.

She was well fed, she got to sleep in a warm bed every night, and she had a horde of minions at school to do her bidding for the cheap price of a few martial arts lessons.

"I'm sorry Neo, but if it makes you feel any better, you can come back and visit us!" Momma said as she put on a smile as Neo got a little teary eyed.

Even Roman felt like a douche right now as he saw Neo hug Momma.

" _That's the point! We'll never get to see you again!"_ Neo was not having a good day.

"Here, take this along for the ride." Momma said as she gave Neo a batch of her homemade cookies.

"… _Okay…"_ Neo figured she may as well take them, after all, she would never get this chance again.

Either way, she still gave the middle aged mother figure a tight hug, knowing she will never get that opportunity again.

"Amazing." Ozpin said as he was standing next to Jeremiah.

"What?" He asked the old professor.

"How a man and a woman can change, those two are notorious criminals back home, and yet here we see them acting like a family, I must say, its amazing that an individual can change so much." He said as Pa had made a fresh coffee pot for his fellow coffee enthusiast.

"Also you do realize that while I did enjoy your touching moment with Miss Schnee there, it doesn't change the fact that she has to go back right?" Ozpin asked Jeremiah as he sighed.

"I know, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He said as he looked over at Roman and Torchwick.

"So why are they going back today instead of a few days like the rest of them?" He asked as Ozpin sighed.

"They are still criminals who have valuable Intel, that and we weren't expecting to find them here, they will need to return soon with Glynda, then she will come back with more dust to bring the rest of them back." He said as it was as simple as that.

"So we have three days left together?" He asked as he looked over at the group of friends he had made, and specifically lingered on Winter.

"You would be surprised what you could do with Three days. After all, before we came, did you not have plans?" Ozpin asked as he was curious.

"Well, there is one place they need to see for sure." He said as he pulled out a phone.

"Who are you calling?" He asked as Jeremiah went silent.

"Hey Grandmama, could we get plane tickets?...Yes, Winter and I are dating now….NO we're not getting married, we just started dating!" Jeremiah said in embarrassment as Ozpin chuckled.

"Look, she wants me to fly with her to visit her family in…..oh wait really? Wow, I thought I would need to do a lot more convincing, yeah, that's the place. Okay thank you." He said as he hung up the phone.

"How does your Grandmother manage to get tickets that fast?" Ozpin was honestly curious.

"She has connections, and she's been trying to get Winter and I to date the whole time they've been here, so all I had to do was bring that up, and she was happy to comply." He said as his Grandmother was the best.

"So where to now?" Ozpin asked as Jeremiah sighed.

"The grave site of your creator."


	47. The Plane and Visiting the Grave

**Okay, so the first part of the chapter is a bit more silly, while the second part gets more serious.**

 **Keep in mind I do not know where Monty Oum is buried, nor if he was buried or cremated, for the sake of this story, lets say he was buried. Either way, RIP Monty**

* * *

"Ugh, I hate planes." Jaune said as he still hadn't gotten over his motion sickness.

"Well, look on the bright side, at least the airline gave you puke bags." Winter pointed out as they were prepared for motion sickness.

"Doesn't make it any less painful." He said as he threw up into another bag as they started to land, Pyrrha was rubbing his back soothingly.

"At least we're landing soon." Jeremiah said as he was gripping his seat tight.

"Are you okay?" Winter asked as he nodded.

"Yeah, just…this pilot went through A LOT of turbulence." He said as Winter thought back.

They had gone through some pretty nasty storms on the flight here, and there had been a few close calls, Jeremiah hadn't stopped gripping his seat since. He didn't seem to have a problem with flying, flying was nothing to be afraid of.

The fear of CRASHING however was ever prevalent. It's kind of like how you're not afraid of heights, you're more afraid of falling from those heights.

"Well, just relax, we should be landing right about…" Winter said as the wheels touched down.

"Now. Nothing to worry about." She said as Jeremiah breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Worst Plane trip ever." He said as that was not the best time he had ever had while flying.

"At least we didn't crash." She said as everyone was getting their stuff.

Ozpin had to make due with a simple walking cane since he couldn't get his actual one through the airport due to regulations, all he knew was that for some reason everyone really hated the TSA. Granted, Goodwitch was mad because she found out she couldn't bring a drink through the airport, luckily she didn't have her riding crop with her, otherwise that would have raised questions with the TSA, questions she would prefer not to answer.

Goodwitch had come back sooner than expected from taking Torchwick and his associate back to Remnant, she decided to keep her word and give them three more days together, after all, it was not like they would ever see each other again.

Well, that and she was curious about this world, she wanted to see it for herself.

"So here we are." Jeremiah said as they walked out of the airport.

"How far is it?" Winter asked wanting to see this grave.

"About a two hour drive." He said as he looked over the group.

"Wait, how are we going to find a van big enough for all of us?" Ozpin asked as they heard a honk.

"Grandmama called in a favor." He said as they saw a bus come by.

"Are you Mr. Cotton?" The driver said as he nodded.

"Here you go." He said as he tossed the keys towards him.

"Wait, aren't you the driver?" Jeremiah asked as he shook his head.

"Nope, sorry, My wife is having a baby, I got to be there, relax, driving a bus is easy." He said as he ran off.

"….I don't know how I feel about this." Weiss was feeling nervous.

"No offense, but I feel the same way." Winter said as Jeremiah cluctched his chest.

"Oh your words! How they wound me, oh come on, how bad can it be?" He asked as he loaded everyone up.

"Have you done this before?" Goodwitch didn't know how she felt about this man driving.

"Nope, but how hard can it be?" He said as he handed his flask to Winter.

"Here, just to be on the safe side, I will give this to Winter, so you can rest assured knowing that I am not drinking and driving." He said as Goodwitch looked baffled.

"I never said you would drink and drive." He looked up at her in the eyes.

"Well you were thinking it." He said as she got onto the bus.

"Wow, you two seem to have a clash of personalities." Winter said as she was waiting to get on the bus.

"Yeah, almost like with me and you." He said as she gave a playful glare.

"Except we put aside our differences, I doubt you and Goodwitch could do the same." She said as he chuckled.

"You never know? Maybe another time, another place, she could have been the one sent through, and we would have bonded…" He said as both he and Winter stared at each other.

"Naaaahhhh." They both said.

"Come on, what are the odds of that happening?" Winter couldn't believe it.

Winter had no idea just how close the powers to be came to making Glynda go through instead of her.

"Anyways, go on, I think I can handle this." He said as he got in the driver's seat.

"Isn't it illegal to drive a bus without a license?" Yang asked as she saw him turn the key.

"Come on, who is going to pull me over to check? Besides, whats the worse that could happen?" He asked no one in particular.

 **ONE HOUR AND FIFTY MINUTES LATER  
**

"PISS OFF YOU FUCKING HIPPIES! LEARN TO DRIVE YOU PIZZA FACED, BARREL ASS, NUT GOBBLING ASSHOLE!" Jeremiah was currently suffering road rage.

The reason being, driving a bus was not only annoying, but you had to deal with pissing people off.

"Language!" Goodwitch did not want to hear that.

"HEY! COME IN HERE AND SAY THAT YOU VEGAN COCK MASTER!" Jeremiah flipped off some guy in a prius.

"HEY!- Oh shit, never mind, carry on sirs." Jeremiah said as a gang of Hells Angels pass by.

"Wow, why did you stop yelling?" Weiss thought that was sudden.

"Because those are Hells Angels, in my experience, you don't want to piss off Biker gangs." He only had to make that mistake once.

"They don't look so bad." Yang said as they looked harmless except for the beards and bikes.

"Oh, some of them can be nice, but you still don't want to piss them off." Bikers could be scary people when you pissed them off.

"Why? How scary can they be?" Ruby asked as Jeremiah looked back really quick.

"Well, let's put it this way, I accidentally spilled a drink on a Hells Angel's jacket one time, and I ran like hell to get out of there." He remembered that night.

He was speeding all the way home. No way he was going to let them catch him.

"What if he didn't think of it as a big deal and realized it was just an accident?" Ruby asked as she was trying to add some light on the situation.

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'Holy shit, holy shit, this guy's arms are bigger than my head, get the hell away!" That was the damn truth right there.

"So how long until we reach our destination?" Ren asked as they had been driving for awhile.

"Not too much longer." Jeremiah said as they were off of the busy roads.

Thank god, otherwise he might have gotten them into an accident. Especially with how many people were driving like idiots. He was actually doing just fine, but these damn long haired hippies who kept passing him by really got to him.

"Hey! Who threw that?!" Jeremiah yelled as a paper airplane flew in front of him.

"I swear to God I will turn this bus arou-" Goodwitch came up to talk to him.

"Perhaps it would be better if I drive for a bit." She said as Jeremiah sighed.

"Fine, better if I drive for a bit….yeah right." He muttered to himself as he went to go take a seat.

"Oh thank god!" Everyone said as he turned back and saw even Winter was agreeing.

"Et tu Winer?" He made a motion like he was being stabbed.

"Oh shut it, we just had to watch you and an old lady flip each other off." She said as he sat down next to her.

"In my defense, she tried to run me off the road." That old lady was CRAZY.

"That tends to happen when you drive like a maniac." She said as he rolled his eyes.

"I was going the speed limit!" He said in his defense.

"You were, but you were passing by people like you thought you were in NASCAR, and last I checked, they don't have race buses in NASCAR." She said as he looked down.

"Damn it, fine you win." He said as he knew he wasn't going to win this one.

"Next time come with your guns drawn." Winter said as Jeremiah seized the opportunity.

"How about a Howitzer?" He said reminding her of their challenge a month ago.

"Shut up." She said as she can't believe she gave him that opportunity.

"You know you like me." He said as he looked at her funny as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"You're not nearly as cute as you think you are." She said as she gave him a weird look.

"Yes I am!" He said as he saw Glynda was getting mad.

"Oh boy! Is Miss Goodwitch having a bit of trouble up there?" He asked in a smart ass tone.

"SHUT UP." She said as these people driving were nuts.

"Yeah, not so easy is it?" He asked as Glynda glared back at him.

"Just shut up." She said as she saw a turn.

"Besides, I got us here safe." She said as they pulled into a parking lot.

"Ah, here we go." Jeremiah said as he lead everyone out of the bus.

Everyone was dressed in black in preparation for visiting the memorial. Although he made sure they didn't wear anything they couldn't fight in. Hence why Ruby wasn't wearing Heels, they waded their way through the cemetery.

Making sure that they didn't step on any graves, they didn't want to appear disrespectful to anyone else who may be visiting loved ones.

"This is it…" Jeremiah said as he looked down at the directions he got off of the internet.

And here they were. Standing in front of a single grave.

A grave labeled 'Monyreak 'Monty' Oum.' A single picture left behind possibly from a friend or family member of his smiling face, as if he was saying all was going to be alright in the world.

The group felt a sense of sadness overcome them. So this was him? The man who created all of them? It was rather surreal. After all, some people did believe in God, Jeremiah was one of them, and while Remnant did have its fair share of religions and deities, this was nothing like the sort.

On Remnant, they were unsure if there was a diety watching over them, but this, this mortal man was the one who created all of them. If anything, HE was their god, but he was not divine, he did not have any godly powers, and above all else, he was mortal. But this mortal man created a world of untold beauty, a world that may be wrought with darkness, but also a world that could find the light. A world where while there would be danger, there would always be the heroes who tried to make it a better place.

"I'll give you a moment." Jeremiah said as he was giving them a moment with Monty.

One by one, they left various objects on the grave, Winter and Weiss left white roses, Yang was surprising when she actually left a lock of her hair, Nora left behind a drawing of her and Ren/Monty. Before long, only two people were left at the grave. Ruby and Ren.

"So….I didn't know what to think before coming here…" Ren said as Ruby was letting him speak first.

"When I first learned we were fictional in this world, I couldn't believe it, I couldn't understand why someone would create a world such as ours…" He said as he knelt down to look at the man, with who he shared a voice, and now that he looked at him, even their faces looked similar.

"And then I found out that you were a part of me…and I was a part of you." Ren continued as he was on one knee.

"I still don't know what to think, but for a long time, all I could think was that something was wrong in the world, that something changed, and I could never figure it out, but I got my answer when I came here." He said as he stood up.

"How could one man I never knew leave such an impact on my life? A man who I never met, and would never have a chance to meet, how is it that you could be so prominent in my life, yet I never even knew you?" He asked himself as he looked sad.

"And why do I feel this sad, if I never got a chance to meet you? Is it because I'll never get the chance? The chance to say….Thank you." Ren said as Ruby looked at him.

"Despite all the hardships in my life, despite what has happened, despite what will happen, I thank you for creating me." He said as he was getting emotional.

"Because while I have had hard times in my life, YOU were also responsible for creating the good times, because of you, I met Nora, because of you, I made new friends, and I established bonds that I never believed I would have been able to have…." He finished as he stood up.

"So thank you Mr. Oum." He said as he walked away.

Leaving Ruby by herself at the grave.

"Oh…well, here I am…talking to a grave." She had done this multiple times at her mother's grave, but this was different.

"I don't really know what I could say that Ren hasn't already, all I know is that without you, we would cease to exist, or maybe not depending on how this multiverse thing works…" She was trying to come up with the words to say.

"You know, I couldn't believe it at first when I found out I was on a show, I was thrilled, I felt like I was already a famous hero, and I wanted to personally meet the man who was responsible for giving me this life…" She said as her smile faded.

"But it was too late, Jeremiah told me you died of an Allergic reaction…and I felt like I lost someone important, in a way, even though I had never met you, it felt like losing my mother all over again…" She trailed off as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"But, I imagine that just like my mother, you wouldn't want to see us crying over your death, but rather celebrating the times we did have with you, and hoping that just like her, you're watching over us, and looking down on us hoping that we do you proud." She said with a slight smile.

"Mom would like you, I really hope that you can meet her, maybe in some kind of interdimensional heaven, that would be nice." She said as she bowed her head.

"Thank you, I got to go now…" She turned to leave, but she bumped into someone.

"Oof." She said as she fell to the ground.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that." A hand was offered to her as she took it.

"I'm sorry, I should have seen where I was going." She said as she dusted herself off.

She looked up to see that she was face to face with a red haired woman, and a few others, one of them was blond and actually reminded her of Yang, while the other two was a man with a beard and somewhat poofy hair, and the final one…he…he looked like the picture on the grave stone.

"Are you okay? You look a little disoriented." The red haired woman said as Ruby thought she sounded familiar.

"Oh, sorry, I was just spacing out." She said as the bearded man chuckled.

"It's okay, you seemed like you were having a deep conversation with Monty there." He said as Ruby panicked.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't meant to pry, its just that I figured it would be nice to visit and pay my respects and…" She was cut off by the blond putting a finger to her lips.

"Woah kid, no need to freak out, we understand, you're here to pay your respects." Suddenly Ruby's eyes widened.

" _S-She, sounds like YANG?!"_ Suddenly Ruby had a very good idea who they were.

"Must be a big fan if she's dressed like your character." The one who looked a bit like Monty said as Ruby recognized him.

"You're his brother…." She said as he nodded.

"Yes." He wasn't a man of many words.

"Don't mind him, he can be a man of few words sometimes." The red haired woman said as she pulled Ruby over to the side.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem a little confused." She asked as Ruby shook her head.

" _Oh my gosh! This woman, she's me!"_ Ruby couldn't believe it.

"Ruby, are you-" Jeremiah walked back to check on them.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said as he didn't know how to talk his way out of this.

"Ruby?" Lindsey said as she looked at the girl in front of her.

"Yes, that's my name…" Okay, this was getting weird.

"Wow, your name is Ruby, and you look like Ruby Rose….what a coincidence…" Lindsey couldn't help but feel something…was off about this girl.

"We just came here to pay our respects, I hope we weren't interrupting anything." Jeremiah said as he couldn't believe they were here today of all days.

"It's no problems, you're not the first fans to do this, and you won't be the last, if anything we're glad so many people come by." The bearded man said as Ruby got a chance to listen to him.

" _Jaune?"_ She recognized the voice, it was a little different, but it was him.

"We understand that not everyone knew him like we did, but in the end, he touched so many people with his work, and the fact that people will come by to pay their respects to him, and continue to honor his memory, so that he will never be forgotten, its comforting to think about." The man who sounded like Jaune said as Jeremiah nodded.

"Well, I promised all of them that we would come here to pay our respects." He said as Neath looked up.

"All?" He asked as he looked back and saw the group waiting for them.

"Yeah, all." He said as Barbara and Yang were looking at each other.

"…." Barbara was getting a strange feeling of Déjà vu.

"Nice hair." She said as Yang smiled.

"Thanks, you too." Well, apparently she was talking to the actress who voiced her.

"You look…" Neath said as he looked at Ren.

"It's weird, but you look a little bit like my brother." He said as he couldn't understand it.

"I'll take that as a compliment…he was a good guy wasn't he?" Ren asked using this as an opportunity to learn more.

"He was, he was a hard worker, my little brother, funny too, you should have seen some of the stuff he worked on in his free time." Neath didn't know why he was talking to this man. But something about him seemed familiar.

"Like what?" Ren asked.

"Well, one time he put his characters through a simulation to make it look like they were dancing to the song 'Black and Yellow' he tended to do that every now and then." Neath said as he remembered some of the antics Monty pulled with his characters.

The rest of the group thought back to some of those moments.

" _Hey Monty! We came up with a great idea! How about you?"_ Mile remembered a conversation.

" _I made a snippet of Blake and Yang dancing to Black and yellow!"_ His voice rang out as Miles thought back to those times.

"Anyways, we should probably get going." Ozpin said as he came by.

"You…you also sound familiar." Miles said as this was getting odd. Why did these people sound so familiar.

More importantly, why did they all look like characters from RWBY? Granted he knew they were fans, and fans usually dyed their hair, but the voices, and even the faces were a spot on match. Heck, he couldn't believe that that wasn't Ruby Rose they bumped into.

"I just have one of those voices, we'll let you get back to respecting your friend, he meant a great deal to many people." Ozpin said looking upon the grave of the one who may as well have been God.

"Oh yeah, it was nice talking to you all." He said as they turned back to pay their respects.

As they were walking back to the bus, the group couldn't believe what had just happened.

"That was me…." Yang couldn't believe it.

"I met myself…" Ruby couldn't believe her voice actor was taller than her.

"I met….his brother." Ren was shocked that he had met Monty's brother, the man who took over voicing him…it was meta.

"I think we all need a moment…" Jeremiah said as they all got back on the bus.

"Goodwitch, how about you drive us back…" He said as she nodded.

This was a day they would never forget.


	48. FILLER: The Hotel

**Okay everyone, so I figured it would be hard to top most of the other chapters in this story, so this one is just extraneous filler, especially since I'm so close to the end.**

 **Anyways, this chapter is just filler, I couldn't really think of many jokes for it, so it's just meant to further the plot.**

 **I have TWO chapters left til Arc 2 starts, and that is what I am looking forward to. So I'll probably post this, get to work on the 49th, and try to publish it tonight, and then post 50 tomorrow.**

* * *

"Well, everyone doing okay?" Jeremiah asked as they were driving back from the cemetery.

"Yeah, we're fine.." Weiss said as she was still confused over seeing TWO Yangs.

"There were two of me! I met myself!"Yang was excited that she met her voice actress.

"Something tells me you won't shut up about that." Weiss said as the others just watched the conversation.

"Hey, do you think if we got a whole bunch of Mes, it would be a… _Yang_ bang?" She said as everyone groaned.

"Actually, there was a bunch of cosplayers who did pose with Barb and they did classify it as a Yangbang." Jeremiah said as everyone looked at him.

"Wait, really?" Yang was just trying to make a joke.

"I'm serious; I think it was at RTX in Austin." He honestly couldn't remember.

Well how about that, Yang's voice actress made bad puns and jokes just like Yang, the rest of the group wondered what else they had in common with the people who voiced them. Was Weiss's actress as cold as ice? Was Ruby's voice actress obsessed with Cookies? Was Nora's crazy?

"Could you please not drink that while I'm driving?" Goodwitch said as Jeremiah was drinking out of a flask.

"Nope, I said I wouldn't drink and drive, but we never said I couldn't drink." Jeremiah said as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry Professor, I have this covered." Winter said as she took the flask.

"Hey!" He said as she put it in her coat pocket.

"You realize it's against the law to have an open alcoholic container or beverage in a motor vehicle right?" She had read up on laws before coming here.

"Well yeah, but I mean, we're back here in the back of the bus, and she's all the way up there." He said as she rolled her eyes.

"No breaking the law." She said as he groaned.

"Okay fine, no breaking the law, but how about we go and get a drink tonight?" He said as she smirked.

"And try carrying you home because you got too drunk? No thank you." She said as she wasn't worried about that.

She was more worried about him drinking too much Rum and carrying her around saying he found the 'booty' again. Good thing professor Ozpin and Goodwitch didn't see that, otherwise that would have been hard to explain.

"No I mean just a regular drink, you know, hotel room, a bit of champagne while watching movies?" He asked as they had to stay in a hotel before going home.

It seemed odd that they flew all the way out here just for this, but they had to remember that they didn't have a lot of time left together, and this was the one thing he wanted to get out of the way before they all left for good. Which he still didn't like the fact that Winter was going to leave after all that they had been through, but once again, he had the same dilemma, could he go with?

No, because if they were serious about closing the doorway to this world permanently, there would be no way back for him, he would never be able to see his family again, and worst of all, he couldn't leave Zeus behind, and the poor dog would miss him.

So he had the same Dilemma as Winter, he couldn't go, but at the same time he couldn't stay. It was a double edged sword, so he knew that he had to make these last few days with Winter count. Lord knows, he wanted to make the best of it.

"Sure, that sounds nice." For once, he didn't sound like he was going to be completely drunk.

"Cool! The hotel we're staying at also gives out complimentary bottles of Rum!" He said as Winter groaned.

"What kind of hotel does that?" She asked as that didn't even seem possible.

"The best kinds!" He said as he was excited for this hotel.

"No seriously, why would they give out bottles of Rum?" She asked as she couldn't figure it out.

"Well….this isn't exactly a normal hotel…" He said as she looked at him.

"What did you do?" She had a feeling she wasn't going to like the answer.

"Well you see, I was going to book us a few rooms at one of those fancy hotels, but they were all booked in for the time, and we wouldn't have had a place to stay, so I found one that is…a little different." He said as she groaned.

"By different, what do you mean?" She asked as Goodwitch stopped driving.

"I think I know what he means." She said as she put her face in her hand.

"WWWOOOOOW! COOL!" Ruby and Nora were looking out their windows.

Winter looked out and deadpanned at what she saw. What she saw was a hotel alright, but it wasn't a regular hotel, it had a large skull for an Entranceway, and seemed to have a pirate ship in the back.

"You found a pirate themed hotel?" She asked as Jeremiah grinned.

"I wanted to find a Viking themed one, but this one will do." He said as she facepalmed.

"What is it with you and your obsession with some of History's most famous savages?" She would never know.

"Come one! The interior looks cool, a place for everyone to lounge by a lake with a pirate ship in the middle, and…OPEN BAR." He said as Winter couldn't believe it.

"You just booked this one for the open bar didn't you?" She asked accusingly.

"Actually I did it for the Rustic interior and the overall atmosphere, and because they serve a free breakfast buffet in the morning. Tell me that's not awesome?" He said as Ozpin spoke up.

"But we're only going to be here a night, seems like a waste of money to get us a…specially themed hotel." He said as he looked at it.

"Maybe, maybe not, either way, I want to check it out, besides, it can't hurt anybody." He said as he got off the bus.

"Yeah! Let's give it a try!" Nora was obviously on board with the idea.

"Could be fun!" Ruby said as pirate books and movies were fun.

"This looks like something a child would go to for his birthday party." She said as she looked a the entrance." She said as they all walked in carrying their bags.

"WHO WANTS THE RUM?!" A man with an actual wooden leg came out as Jeremiah raised his hand.

"There you go!" He said as he dropped a bottle of Captain Morgan into his hands.

"Yeah, a children's birthday party that gives out booze." Jeremiah said as they checked into the hotel.

As soon as they checked in, Nora and Ruby went off to the lake, Jeremiah said that they put a Pirate ship in the lake as an attraction, and they were going to go check it out. Seriously, that sounded awesome.

"See? The interior looks nice." He said as Winter pointed at something.

"That man is passed out drunk on top of the bar." She said as they were hauling his body away.

"Wow, feels like home already." Jeremiah said as they walked up some stairs.

"Well you have to admit, the interior is nice." He said as the brochure was pretty accurate.

While the hotel did have electricity, they hooked it up so it looked like the interior hallways were being lit by candlelight, when in reality they were just lightbulbs. Either way, it was cool to look at how the inside of the hotel was tricked out to look like it was half pirate ship interior and half old style housing. It was actually nice.

"Oof." A guy passed out drunk in the hallway as he was thrown out of the room by an angry half naked woman.

"Next time don't get the bright idea of sticking it in the wrong hole!" She said as she slammed the door.

"Oh dear." Goodwitch was not used to people like this.

"Don't even think about making a joke." Winter glared at Jeremiah.

"I swear to god, I wasn't thinking of that." He said quickly in his defense.

In all honesty, he was thinking about how funny it was that that guy got kicked out in almost nothing but a towel.

"Ah, here's our room." He said as he stuck the key in the lock.

"Why don't they just use electronic card keys?" Winter asked as they literally gave him an old fashion metal key.

"Got keep with the rustic theme, come on, these keys are cool!" He said as he felt like a kid in a candy store.

He opened the room to see it was very simple, a single king sized bed, a TV, a bathroom, and a bookshelf, they even had a window to look out towards the lake.

"I see Nora and Ruby already." He said as the two were currently on top of the Crows nest of the replica pirate ship out back.

"They seem to be having fun." She said as he looked outside.

"Wait, what is she doing?" He asked as Nora slid down below deck.

"Oh, hey, there's a cannon." He said as it was just a replica, and probably wouldn't fire.

Right?

"Never mind, I don't want to know." He said as he closed the blinds.

"So Mr. Cotton, I believe I would like to take you up on your offer." Winter let out a small smile as she laid down on the bed just looking to kick back and relax.

"Sounds good to me, that was a long drive." He said as he took his shoes off and cuddled up with Winter.

"Now let's see whats on." He said as he took the TV remote.

CLICK

"My little pony! I used to wonder what-" He changed the channel.

"I'll be back." An Austrian man said as he walked out of a police station.

"I'm flying jack!" Nah, not that one either.

"STICK IT IN HER POOPER!" A pissed off asian man yelled into a phone.

"Okay wow, definitely don't want to watch that." He said as he had to resist the urge to laugh.

"Because you would be in jail." An elderly man said as the crowd went nuts.

"He he, I got to give him that one, that was a good diss." He remembered watching that.

"Farmboy!" Suddenly he stopped.

"Oh we got to watch this!" He said as this was one of his favorite movies.

"What is it?" She asked as she had no knowledge of movies.

"One of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride." He said as she gave him a look up.

"Sounds a bit..girly." She said as he didn't seem the type to watch it.

"Well, I grew up watching this movie, its really good, that and you got to love the 'Hello my name is Inigo Montoya.' You know on second though, I won't say the whole quote, its better if you watch." He said as he was super excited.

"Okay." She was a little weirded out.

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"WHAT A BITCH!" Winter yelled as she saw the six fingered man running away.

"Pisses you off doesn't it?" Jeremiah was glad that she was enjoying it.

"After all that, all of the trouble, and he runs away?!" Winter was really hoping Inigo would kill him now.

"Good to see you're enjoying the film." He said as that made him happy.

"Kind of hard not to, it's got action, romance, revenge, humor, it's actually pretty entertaining." She said as she was honestly surprised.

"Still though, there is one issue I have." She said as she continued to watch.

"What? This movie is perfect." He said as he couldn't find any flaws.

"It's just that, earlier Inigo said the six fingered man ordered the sword, right?" She asked as he nodded.

"Yeah and?" He didn't see her point.

"If he ordered the sword, and killed Inigo's father in order to take it, why does Inigo still have it?" She asked as Jeremiah froze.

"Well…Uhm…Because…" He didn't know.

"I mean, obviously Inigo tried to fight him because of the scars on his face, so he wouldn't have run off, I mean the six fingered man could have taken the sword easily, wouldn't it have made more sense for him to be seeking revenge and trying to get his father's sword bac-" She was cut off by a finger to the lips.

"Shh Shh, Lets just watch." He said as he didn't want to hear anymore.

In all honesty, he never thought of that before.

"Another problem was how you could tell that when Fezzik was set on fire, it was obvious it was a dummy." She said as Jeremiah nodded to that one.

"Okay, that one was a mistake, I think everyone notices that." He said as he was being honest.

 **BOOM!  
**

"HIT THE DECK!" He said as he brought Winter down to the floor with him.

"OOF! HEY!" She said as she was not expecting this.

"What was that?" He said as he looked outside.

"Oh…never mind…" He said as she looked upset.

"What do you mean Nevermind?" She asked as he pulled her off the bed for this.

"Well…Nora is out there having fun with some of the staff." He said as she looked outside.

Only to see that Nora was shooting one of the prop cannons, no actual cannonballs, they just fill it with harmless flash paper and a charge to make it look like an explosion had happened.

"Well, seems like the others are having fun." She said as maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"See? How about that? I was right!" He said with a cheeky grin.

"Shut up, don't get used to it." She said with a light punch to his shoulder.

"Want to finish the movie?" He said as he had it paused on Tivo.

"Of course, I can't leave now." She said as she needed to see what happened.

You can't just cut a love story off like that. And she wanted to see if Inigo won or not.


	49. Now Its Time

**Here we are ladies and gentleman, Chapter 49, which means One more chapter til we wrap up this Arc, now, I will publish Arc 2 in this story, as I don't see the point in publishing it as a sequel, so don't worry.**

 **Anyways, hard to believe I would ever write a story this long, believe it or not, I did have a fanfiction profile before this, but it got hacked and I lost everything, but I never imagined I would ever write a story this long or this beloved again. But it's been a great ride.**

 **I still can't believe I managed to pump up two chapters a day since the start of the new year.**

 **Anyways, another thing I have to say is there was a reason I was writing so fast, because 1. I wanted to get to the sequel, and 2, because with college coming back up, and especially with me preparing to join the Army, I may not get as much time to write.**

 **So I figured I would try to write as much as this story as I possibly could, along with Endless Possibilities, and while Punisher is still a pain, I have been slowly working on the next chapter.**

 **Anyways, God Bless you all for putting up with my sometimes Eccentric Writing, and Have a Fantastic Year!**

 **And I promise, Arc 2 will be FULL of surprises ;)**

 **Anyways, Shout out to my friend Blaiseingfire, who has reviewed on almost every chapter, and who I have shared my ideas with, and whose fics I greatly enjoy, it was nice working with you, and maybe our fucked up minds can accomplish something insane one day.**

 **Also thank you gamelover41592 for your constant support, and for our excellent conversations.**

 **And of course thank you to all the readers who have actually made it this far in the story.**

 **Also to the guest reviewer, out of curiousity, what accent did you imagine me having in the road rage? I'm honestly curious. If you could please leave a guest review telling me which accent you imagined, I would appreciate it.**

* * *

This was it, the plane ride home. One day left before they left Earth for good. The closer it got, the more the group realized that they were going to miss Earth. All of them were going over what their final thoughts and opinions were of this planet.

For Ruby, she absolutely loved the different legends and myths that had been apart of the cultures of various places, she loved how there were even more fairy tales she could read about, and she loved the fact that she got to see so much of it before they went back home. And don't even get her started on the numerous amounts of baked goods that she was introduced to, it was just heavenly!

Yang herself had really enjoyed the numerous fighting tournaments and games, sure they had stuff like MMA back home, but it wasn't nearly as big as it was on this planet or in this country. She really wished she would have gotten a chance to train at some of the gyms. But Jeremiah was worried that due to her Aura making her insanely strong, she might accidentally hurt someone.

Unless she got the chance to meet Fedor Emelianenko, in that case, Fedor might break her in half. Because no one fucks with Fedor.

Blake had enjoyed learning about the struggles of various groups across the globe, granted she had also felt sadness when she read about some of the great tragedys, she felt for the Armenians who were oppressed and slaughtered because of the actions of The Young Turks, she cried when she learned about the Holocaust. And So many more problems in this world made her question if it was all truly worth it.

But then she remembered the good souls in this world, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, different people who lived different lives, but they actively tried to make the world a better place. And they never once lost hope in humanity, so she wouldn't either, for the sake of both Human and Faunuskind.

Weiss was still coming to terms with the fact that her sister was dating a redneck. So that was kind of weird for her. But overall, this trip was fantastic, for awhile she felt like she was free from her burdens in Remnant, as if she was separated from her father completely, and to be honest, it felt really good, but now it was time to go back a wiser person.

Ren felt at peace, like he said to Monty at his grave, he felt conflict when he passed away for reasons unknown to him, but now that he knew why he felt empty, and why he felt like a part of him had faded away, it all made sense. And Ren was finally able to make peace with himself knowing what had been under his skin.

Nora was going to miss Momma, Momma made her a lot of pancakes, but most of all, She was going to miss Grandmama, in fact the first thing she was going to do when they landed was run all the way to Grandmama's and give her a giant hug before she had to say goodbye.

Jaune had come out of it a changed man, he learned more about the woman he was based off of, a brave woman who did everything she could to change the lives of her people. And there was no way that he was going to sit around and let pain and sadness come to vale without a fight. He needed to be strong, not just for himself, but for the people he cared about, especially Pyrrha.

Pyrrha felt the same way, after learning about her death; she had kicked up her training with Jaune. After all, she wanted to be as strong as possible if she had to fight Cinder, and especially if she wanted to help stop the invasion of Beacon. She still wasn't sure what to think about Amber, Ozpin hadn't talked to her since Jeremiah revealed the truth to him, did that mean he had given up? After all, they didn't know anything about what would happen to her if she accepted the deal. So maybe he thought it was too risky?

And then there was Winter herself. This had been an interesting trip for her. It started out one way and ended in a completely different way. Never in her life, did she think she would go to save her sister, and come back with a lover, if you had told her a month or two ago, that soon she would be dating a bald redneck with a hankering for drinking, she would have reported you for possible drug abuse. But here she was, doing something she never thought she would do.

She was happy, but she knew that it couldn't last. She would have to leave, and Jeremiah would have to stay here, no matter what, their relationship would come to an end. And she hated the fact that they had to face that truth. The feelings she had for him had only grown, and she was certain he was feeling the same way.

As for the two professors, they hadn't nearly spent as much time here as their students nor the Atlas Specialist, so they couldn't say they cared for it very much. After all, Glynda hated the cold winters in the Midwest, and Ozpin thought this world had potential. In fact, Glynda could swear she saw Ozpin thinking about this world in depth, almost as if he was planning something.

But what could that be?

"How long before you think we'll land?" Ruby asked as it had been a few hours.

"We've been flying for awhile, so probably soon." Jeremiah said as he leaned back in his seat.

"Jerry…you realize that when we get back….we all go home…right?" Nora asked as Jeremiah remained silent.

"Yeah, I know guys, its not something we want to accept is it?" He said as they all nodded.

"I mean, Remnant is our home, but…we'll never see you again." Pyrrha said as they were going to miss the drunk asshole.

"Yeah, I know, it's a hard pill to swallow." He said as he grabbed Winter's hand.

"And definitely not something we want to accept, but the truth of the matter is, it seems like its unavoidable." He said as Weiss spoke up.

"What if you came with?" She asked as she saw the look in Winter's eyes.

It was a sense of fear and loss. She knew her sister, while she may not wear her emotions on her sleeve like some other people, you could see it in her eyes, she was struggling with what she was going to do. Would she stay or would she Go?

"I don't think I could…" He said as he held up a hand before Weiss could speak up.

"Just hear me out, listen, you all have your responsibilities back home yes?" He asked as they nodded.

"It's the same for me, I have a family, I have friends, I have to finish college, and hopefully I can join the army after that, the point is, I had plans, but I also can't just drop it all and leave, my parents still think you're students here, they won't understand why I disappeared and never came back, especially if you never plan on opening the portal again." He said as he looked at Ozpin.

"Believe me, I would like to see Remnant, and I would like to go with, but how could I be so selfish as to go without thinking of all the people I would leave behind? I'm sorry Weiss, I can't do it…" He said as he felt guilty when he looked Winter in the eyes, even though she knew it was true, it was still hard to accept.

"Do we have to close the portal permanently?" Nora asked the professors.

"I'm afraid that is not up to us." Ozpin said as the council was very vocal about keeping that portal closed.

" _Those Barbaric earthlings must never set foot in Remnant."_ It did make Ozpin's blood boil, as it wasn't long ago that Remnant was full of Barbarians.

After all, these humans may have had a much more violent history than the people of Remnant, but where they honestly any different? Violence was just as much a part of life as love, happiness and sadness, you can't just change the nature of humanity. Ozpin didn't see the point of writing off the people of Earth as Barbarians, they had proven time and time again they could come together for the greater good. That hardly sounded barbaric to him.

But the problem remained, there was no way the council would let an Earthling step foot in Remnant.

"What if we just used it to send letters?" Winter asked as at least some communication would be good.

"As I said, it's not up to us, if you truly want to talk to someone about it, ask General Ironwood, he may be able to pull something." Ironwood was currently more trusted the council, maybe he could work something out.

"Look, I'm not giving up, maybe there is something we could do, but if this council is serious about not letting me in, something tells me that going with you wouldn't do anything." Jeremiah said as that may end up badly.

"What, do you think they would kill you on sight?" Winter asked as she was sure that wouldn't happen.

"Worse, throw me in prison." He said as everyone looked at him.

"How is Prison worse than death?" Ruby asked.

"You see my face and body? I may have a manly beard, but I'm too pretty for prison, I WOULD NOT DO WELL IN PRISON." He said as he knew how it would turn out.

First day of prison, he would probably be made someone's bitch, that is why he didn't want to go to prison.

"Wouldn't you at least fight back?" Winter asked as he nodded.

"Oh, I would definitely fight back, course in my struggle, they may knock out my front teeth, so that they can guarantee that I won't bite down, and next thing you know you have a giant fat-" He was cut off by Glyna.

"Okay, we don't need to know how prison would go for you." She said as jokes about being the prison bitch were not welcome here.

"The point is, I am a free man, I will stay a free man." The idea of prison was not welcoming to him.

"So it seems that no matter what, our conclusion is the same…." Ozpin said as they had been talking for hours.

" _Please fasten your seatbelts and put trays in the proper position. We will commence the landing procedure soon, thank you for flying Southwest Airlines."_ The voice said as everyone went silent.

"It's almost time…" Ozpin said as Jeremiah gripped Winter's hands, and she squeezed back.

"Time to say goodbye…"


	50. Time To Say Goodbye

**Here it is people, the ending chapter of Arc 1, I finished it three days before my deadline. Which is fantastic! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it, but don't worry, the story doesn't end here.**

 **And as always, you will see movie references, so try and pick them out.**

* * *

"So…" Jeremiah said as they were all lined up to go.

"So." Ruby said as she stepped up first.

"I guess this is goodbye…" He said as he had to admit, he was feeling sad about this.

"I'll miss you." She said as she gave him a hug.

"I'll miss you too Little Rose." He said as he dug into his pocket.

"Here, Momma baked these for you." He said as he gave Ruby a bag of cookies for the trip home.

"I would trade these cookies if it meant we could see you again." She said with a slight teary expression.

"Woah, okay Ruby, you don't need to give up cookies for me, they're much sweeter than I am." He said in a joking tone as she got a giggle out of that.

"No wonder Winter calls you an idiot." She said as she gave him another hug.

"Yeah, just make sure to watch after your team, especially Yang, you never know what she'll get herself mixed up in." He said as she gave a salute.

"Aye Aye Captain!" She said as she went back.

"So, hard to believe it's all over…" Yang said as she didn't know what to say.

"Yeah, I guess you could say its about to go out with a _Yang._ " He said as Yang chuckled while everyone else groaned.

"Wow, that was bad, come here you dork." She said as she got him in a headlock and gave him a noogie.

"HEY HEY HEY!" His voice cracked and turned into Fat Albert as her knuckles were digging into his bald head.

Blake was up next, first she stared at Jeremiah, then he stared back at her, they stood in an awkward silence before Blake finally broke it by saying only one thing.

"Thank you." She said as he raised an eyebrow.

"For what?" Sure he had given them a place to stay, but what else had he done?

"You gave me hope, if it wasn't for coming here and learning about your planet's history, both of the monsters like Hitler, and of the heroes like Theodore Roosevelt and realizing that the world is both equally good and equally bad, it gave me hope that I can make a difference on day not just for humans, but for faunus as well, before I came here, I was losing hope, with the white fang ruining the image of the Faunus, and for some humans who saw the white fang as a reason to hate Faunus, it was all too much, but then we came here, and we learned that while those people exist, we can also learn one very important fact, that good will eventually triumph over evil, So thank you, thank you for everything." She said with a bow of her head as she reached her hand out for a handshake.

"Come on, bring it in Blakey." He said as he gave her a hug.

"Oh alright." She said as she was not used to this.

It was kind of funny seeing the two hug it out. Blake was not one for physical affection, barring a few rare moments with her team mates, and here she was, currently sharing an awkward hug with a man who had given her hope.

Next up was Weiss, who was looking down for a bit.

"Not much to say?" He asked as she shook her head.

"Just the opposite, too much, but I'll start by saying this." She said as she looked at him.

"While I will admit, your antics can be juvenile, and your drunken stupidity can be hard to bear, and don't even get me started on your habit of gunslinging when drinking…" She was starting to drone on.

"BUT…" He said trying to give her a hint.

"But, you're a good man, you have a strong moral code, and dare I say it, even a heart of gold, if most people saw a bunch of strange people appear in their house out of nowhere, they probably would have called the cops, but you gave us a chance, and you gave us shelter during our times of need, and most importantly…" She looked back at Winter.

"You helped my sister, and you made her happy." Weiss said as she gave him a hug.

Everyone was SHOCKED as they saw this, Weiss while she didn't hate him, did not seem too fond of physical affection with him especially since the accidental kiss. But here she was hugging him.

"Oh wow, this is nice." Jeremiah said as he heard a whisper in his ear.

"Also, if we find a way to come back, YOU better come visit to make Winter Happy, or I will cut your balls off." She threatened him as it didn't even bother him.

"Just had to say that didn't you?" He whispered in her ear.

"I'm serious, Winter cares about you…." She said as she stepped back with a smile.

"Isn't it supposed to be the elder sister who protects the younger one?" He asked in a joking tone.

"Hey, you and my sister protect each other; I say we can protect each other, so that is that." Weiss said as she walked back to join the others.

All of Team RWBY had said their piece, now it was time for Team JNPR to come to say their goodbyes.

"So this is the end of the road for us." Jaune was the first to come up.

"So it is…" Jeremiah said as he got something out.

"Here, this is for you." He said as Jaune unwrapped it.

"Wait…this is…" He looked at the cover of what he had gotten him.

"A comic book based off of Joan of Arc, I was in the store and I saw it, figured that would work for you." He said as Jaune smiled.

"It's perfect….I'm going to miss you bro." He said as he did a fist bump.

"Yeah, well maybe one day, I'll see you all again." He said as Jaune quoted a line from one of Jeremiah's favorite movies.

"But not yet…." Jaune said as he remembered Gladiator.

"Not yet…" Jeremiah smirked as they did a bro hug.

Next up was Pyrrha.

"I don't know where to start…" She started off with a smile.

"Since we came here, you helped me grow closer to Jaune, you gave us a place to stay, and you helped me discover who I was as a person, well, at least as to what culture I was from…" Pyrrha said as she greatly enjoyed the time they spent in Greece and in Rome.

"But more importantly, you gave me another chance for life, if we had never come here, and went about our lives as usual, I would have died at Cinder's hands…" She got a little choked up there.

"But you, you changed that, you showed us what would happen, and you warned us of the days to come, and because of that, we can now change our fate, and as you said, we have the option to choose our own destiny, it isn't all predetermined, every action we take affects our lives…I will keep that close to here." Pyrrha said as she gave him a hug.

"Just be careful out there Pyrrha." He hoped he could have done something to help make one of his favorite characters live.

"I will….After all…" She looked back at her friends and her boyfriend.

"I remember what I'm fighting for." She said as she walked back.

Nora came up and immediately got him in a bear hug.

"OH! There it is!" He could feel his spine cracking.

"I'm going to miss you so much!" She yelled as she was crying a bit.

"Hey now Nora, don't cry." He said as he patted her head.

"But we may never see you again!" She said as Jeremiah looked down with a sad smile.

"Nora…here…" He said as he pulled out a necklace with a single white rune on it.

"What is it?" She asked as she knew it was Nordic in origin.

"It's a Rune, that symbol right there symbolizes the bonds of friendship, I want you to keep it, in hopes of one day, we'll all see each other again, can you do that for me?" He asked as she nodded, tears in her eyes.

"Of course!" She said as she gave him another bone crushing hug.

"I'll be sure to have Grandmama cook her special pancakes for you when we do." He said as she wiped her tears.

She walked back to the group as Ren was the last to come forward.

"So, here we are." Ren said as he wasn't good at goodbyes.

"So we are." Jeremiah honeslty didn't know what to say.

"Well, all I can say is thank you, because of you, I got answers as to who I really was, and where I belonged, and knowing what I know now, I belong with my friends…" He said as he looked back at all of them.

"It was also nice that I got to pay my respects to the man who created me, and in a way, when I was talking to his brother…it's almost like I was talking to my own brother…" Ren couldn't explain it.

"Ren, Monty voiced you, and Monty created you, you were a part of him, it makes sense that you would feel a connection with his family. So don't be confused by that feeling, just let it flow." Jeremiah smiled to let him know it was all going to be okay.

"I just wish I could have done more." He said as Jeremiah put a hand on his shoulder.

"Just do what you can, take care of those wacky teammates of yours, and this is from Grandmama." He said as he leaned into Ren's ears.

" _Dio Mio Ren! Why don't you hurry up and Marry Nora and give me tons of adopted Grandchildren to spoil!"_ He said in a thick Italian accent as Ren blushed.

"Uh, maybe another time." He said as he couldn't believe Grandmama said that.

"Speaking of which, where is she?" Ren asked as none of his family members were here.

"Well, Ma and Pa think I'm taking you to the airport for a exchange student program…and Grandmama, shes….would you believe she's in Africa right now?" He asked as Ren shook his head.

"Why would she be in Africa?" He honestly didn't know the reason why.

"She's hunting exotic game and donating and cooking the meat to feed local villages affected by drought and famine." He said as his Grandmama could not rest if someone was hungry.

"Well that's….never mind that's believable." Ren remembered what happened with Nora.

He also went in for a hug, because why not? Everyone else was doing it.

"Grandmama wants at least five grandchildren out of you." He whispered in Ren's ear.

"Do I look like I could handle five?" He said as Jeremiah looked toward Nora.

"I heard Nora saying she at least wanted ten." He teased as Ren groaned.

"Dick." He replied as a joke.

"Bitch." He smirked back at him.

Surprisingly, next was Professor Ozpin and Professor Goodwitch.

"First off, we would like to extend our humblest gratitude for housing our students for this long." Ozpin began as Jeremiah nodded.

"Trust me Sir, it was no problem, even if Nora once ate every single box of pancake mix I had…" He said as he looked at Nora.

"I just want to let you know that I will do whatever I can to convince the council to give you a chance." He said as Jeremiah was surprised.

"Really? That's…nice of you." He said as he wasn't expecting that.

Goodwitch decided to speak up.

"I will admit, I find you brash, and at times a full fledged alcoholic." She said as she saw the flask on his belt.

"But you did help my students and for that I thank you." She said as Jeremiah raised a hand.

"Yes Mr Cotton?" She asked.

"Just one question, why did you choose a riding crop as your weapon?" He asked as he honestly wanted to hear her reasoning.

"Well, as you can see I use my semblance in my attacks, however, I still needed something to channel my aura and my dust through, so what do you think my options were?" She asked as Jeremiah thought it over.

"A staff, a wand, or the crop?" He asked as she nodded.

"Very good, now, as you can see, I am more agile, so the staff was out, and the wand while useful is cliché and would not be as intimidating, so why do you think I chose the crop?" She asked as she was teaching him a lesson.

"Because its light, easy to move around, and because getting hit by one of those hurts, so it gives you the extra intimidation factor around students?" He guessed as she smiled.

"How about that, you do have a brain in there, at least we know you're smarter than our resident drunk." She said thinking back to Qrow.

"Our point is that we appreciate what you have done." Ozpin said as he shook Jeremiah's hand, and then Glynda shook his hand.

"Just keep teaching them, and Ozpin…" He said as he leaned up to whisper in Ozpins ear.

"Please…don't let the mistakes of Vol. 3 happen again…" Ozpin's eyes grew sad, but he steeled them.

"I will do my best…" He said as they both walked back.

Save the best for last, Winter walked up to Jeremiah, her face was stone, but her eyes were full of emotion, he could see that behind those eyes, she didn't want to leave.

"So here we are." He said as he held both of her hands gently.

She was back in her Atlas uniform, and he now had to look up in order to look at her, those heels really did kick her height up a lot. And for a man of only 5'8'', it was a little strange.

"Here we are.." She said as she had no words left to say.

How do you tell the person you care about that you may never see them again? How do you admit that there may be a chance you will never meet again in this lifetime? Winter was shaking as she didn't want to admit it, but she couldn't bare the thought of leaving him.

"Here." He said as he pulled a necklace from his neck.

She leaned down as he put it around her neck, she took a close look to see that it was a St. Michael's Pendant.

"I got that a long time ago, my priest said it would always protect me, St Michael is the arch angel and patron saint of Soldiers, hopefully it will help protect you until we meet again." He said as Winter looked him in the eyes.

"You really think we will?" She asked as he smiled.

"I do, and even if I didn't. I would still believe in you, you haven't led me astray yet…I trust you Winter." He said as she gripped his hands tighter.

She leant in for a quick kiss, which was quickly ended by Ozpin saying the portal was ready.

"I…..I…I'll miss you…" She said as she walked over to the portal.

"Not as much as I'll miss you…" He whispered as he stood by.

"Nora…what are you doing?" Ren asked as Nora was sad and playing with her boom box.

"What? I need some music because I'm sad.." She said as she turned it on.

 _If I…should stay…..I would only be…in…your waaaaayyyyy_ _ **(1)**_

The music played as Winter looked back at Jeremiah, and Jeremiah looked back at her, neither one wanting to leave the other all alone. Not after all they had been through.

 _So I'll go…But I know….I'll think of you every step of….the waaaayyyyy._

Winter couldn't take it, the sad look in his eyes, but knowing that he had to let her go because if he didn't, there would be a world that was left safe without her in it. And it was killing him.

"Wait!" She said as she turned away from the portal and ran back.

 _And IIIIIIIIII will always Love youuuuuuuuuuu. I will always Love youuuuuuuuu._

Jeremiah was surprised; Winter was running back, but why? Suddenly she dove in for a kiss. But not like the short and sweet one, this was a real kiss. Their lips gently mashed together as each one wrapped their arms around the other like this would be the last time they would see each other.

 _AND IIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!_

The group was surprised at the amount of passion the two had, their lips connecting like yin and yang, their bodies squeezed tightly against the other, almost as if the two never wanted to separate, both were forces of nature. An aura of fire seemed to surround Jeremiah while an aura of ice surrounded Winter, and when the two forces collided, all you could see was water, for when two opposite forces meet, they combine to create something new.

Both were hopeless souls, thinking that no one would ever love them, with some thinking that they would never be able to love again. But they were wrong.

Because this was a once in a lifetime experience, something that you may never see again.

True Love between two opposite souls.

"I love you…." Winter whispered to Jeremiah, shocked that she said it.

"I love you too…." Jeremiah whispered as they kissed once more.

The group continued to stare, with Ruby actually dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief as the rest of the group was trying to maintain a steady expression. Some were tearful, some were happy to see the two as close as they were, while some were saddened by the fact they may never see each other again.

A tragic end to what to some would be a great love story.

"Miss Schnee…" Goodwitch said as Winter looked Jeremiah in the eyes.

"I swear….I'll find a way…" She said as he nodded.

"And I'll be here…waiting." He said as she walked away, tears in her eyes.

This man had melted the ice around her heart, something that most people had thought impossible, but he did it. Hell, even she could hardly believe it.

As they started walking through the portal, she gave one last look to Jeremiah as he waved goodbye.

And with one final turn. The portal was closed.

And Jeremiah was all alone.

"Goodbye…" He said as he looked down at the mementos he had left.

One was a picture of him and Winter when they kissed in the hospital, the security camera footage got a great shot of them, and the security staff at the hospital asked him if he wanted it, so he now kept a smaller version in his wallet.

The other item was the gift Ruby had given him, his Winchester rifle/Tomahawk and long knife/Colt revolver hybrid weapon.

"You make a damn fine weapon Rubes." He said as he slung it over his shoulder and walked away.

Unaware that a single dust bullet in the chamber was not mixed properly….and may have unexpected results.

* * *

 **(1) Please tell me someone gets what movie Winter and Jeremiah's goodbye is based off of? The song should be obvious, but what movie was it featured in?**


	51. A2C1: Alaska

**Alright everyone, here we go, Chapter 1 of Arc 2! I actually finished this chapter the same day as I finished Chapter 50, but I waited until it sunk in, so that way it wouldn't be such a rush. So here we go! A new adventure!**

 **Anyways, so there is a time difference between Remnant and Earth for reasons that will be revealed.**

* * *

 **A few months later in Remnant**

"Nervous?" Yang asked her sister as they were getting ready for their fight.

"Considering we have been training harder than usual, I would say about 50/50." Ruby replied as she was always nervous before a fight.

"Why did you step up our training regiment again?" Yang asked as she couldn't remember.

"Remember? When we saw that we won this match, we started to get too confident, so I figured acting as a slave driver to beat any delusions of winning easily out of heads, that way if we train harder for this, we actually would have an easier time winning than our counterparts on the dvd!" Ruby said as Blake just gave her a look.

"You had us up before Five each morning, before we waited til after seven." She was all for hard work, but it really sucked having to get up early.

"Well let's see if it paid off." Ruby said as they prepared their weapons.

"TEAM RWBY! TEAM ABRN! ARE YOU READY?" Professor Ports announcement rang over the intercom.

"Bring it on…" Yang said as she got in a fighting position.

Shit was about to go down.

 **Meanwhile on Earth, One Year Later**

"Mom, I swear I'm not drinking alone." Jeremiah said over the speaker phone as he was chopping wood with one of those beer dispensing helmets, except he filled it with Moonshine.

"It's just your father and I have been worried, you've been out of sorts ever since Winter left…" She said as Jeremiah spoke up.

"She didn't leave me Mom, she just had very important business to attend to, she'll be back." Jeremiah said as his mother sighed.

"Son, I know you cared about this girl, but it's been a year, wouldn't she be back by now?" Momma was honestly concerned.

"Look, she's just been really caught up, I've been getting her letters, you know how high society types are." He said as he split another log. In reality that was a lie, but he couldn't tell her that Winter wasn't in this world anymore.

"I hope you're right, but just because you miss her doesn't mean you should isolate yourself." Momma said as Jeremiah spoke up again.

"I'm not isolating myself!" He said as he put another log on the chopping block.

"Jeremiah, when we won the lottery you took your share of the money and built a cabin in Alaska, that sounds like isolation." She said as that was the honest truth.

A while back, Jeremiah had gotten drunk and decided to buy a lotto ticket for the powerball. Which was up to Five hundred million, by some DUMB LUCK. They actually managed to win, of course Uncle Sam took half of it in tax money, afterwards, they divided the money up between him, his parents, and his siblings. Either way, still left him with a healthy sum.

So he built a nice log cabin in Alaska, within the wilderness, bought himself a nice used Truck, and some equipment for hunting, fishing, camping, and hiking, and above all else, survival.

"Come on Mom, after I was medically disqualified from all branches of the military, I needed to get away." He said as that was true.

When he went to go join after he finished college, there was a slight problem, while he got a medical waiver for one issue, there was a matter of a head wound, a skull fracture that hadn't healed properly.

He touched the back of his head, it was the wound he first got when Nora hit him with the hammer when they first met. While it wasn't permanently damaging, the doctors didn't know the risks and were worried he could die if the wound was too aggravated, so he was medically disqualified from joining every branch of service. It really tore him to bits.

He was lucky to get the lotto ticket, it helped him pay off his college debt, and in the end, he was able to fulfill at least one of his dreams, a nice cabin, and land where he could hunt and fish. The land was within the wilderness, but was also close to a large body of water, so he always used that for swimming and fishing.

It was almost paradise, except he had no one to share it with.

"I know that son, and I know you wanted that badly, look, you've been at that cabin for six months now, when are you coming home?" She asked as he looked at his watch.

"Well, I don't know, honestly I really enjoy it up here, why don't you all come visit? The place is big enough for guests, and even if its not, I do have a guest cabin not too far from here." He said as he built that for friends.

"That would be nice sweetie, but it will depend on our schedule, how about we call you back when we can figure something out? Zeus misses you." She said as Jeremiah chuckled.

"Really? He was up here with me a week ago, he misses me already?" He asked as he heard a bark over the phone.

"Apparently, the car ride home with your friend just made him miss that state you love so much, and I can't say I blame him." Momma said as Jeremiah chuckled.

When Zeus was up here with him, he was trying to hunt every small thing that moved, and don't even get him started on how much Zeus loved swimming. It was hilarious to see such a fluffy dog get soaking wet.

"Okay, well tell Pa I said Hi." He said as he took off the moonshine dispensing helmet.

That was another thing, he decided to help his dad open his brewery in another place, as of now, it was nothing spectacular, something that could be run by one man. So he didn't make much of a profit…that and it didn't help that he also drank most of the product, so he was not the best moonshine salesman.

Jeremiah had changed over the past year, after all, six months in the wilderness will do that to you. For one thing, he had gained more muscle, all the hiking, hunting, fishing, swimming, and chopping wood had been good for his body, and while he was still skinny, this time you could see some noticeable bulk rather than just tone.

His beard had also grown longer, it was now down to his chest level, the only parts of it he kept shaved were his neck area, and of course he had to trim his mustache down since it was annoying when you went to eat something and your upper lip gets a mouthful of hair. So that was trimmed down for convenience sakes. His head was still shaved, right now he was rocking the Ragnar Lothbrok look, and it was actually pretty nice.

"Hey! Jerry!" A voice said as he almost slipped with the axe.

"Damn it Blaze! Don't do that!" He said as he looked around to see the closest thing he had to a neighbor around here.

His Neighbors name was Blaze N. Fiero. An interesting fellow who he had met at a local tavern. And this guy could drink anyone he knew under the table, even Jeremiah had a hard time keeping up with him. Overall, he was a nice guy, he did have one problem though.

He could be a bit of a…swordsman, only the sword wasn't a steel sword, it was a flesh one.

Blaze had a lot of sex…that was his problem.

"Sorry man, but come on, we going out partying?" Another man said as he walked over to where he was cutting axe.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt? It's cold out!" The man said as Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you try chopping wood in a heavy coat, believe it or not, you start to get warm." He said as he continued to chop wood.

"Well my point still stands man, I'm going out to one of the local nightclubs, figured you would want to come along, maybe meet some nice ladies?" Blaze knew ALL about that kind of stuff.

"If by ladies, you mean I sit at the bar alone while you go off and have a threeway, then no thanks." He already had to experience that once.

They went to the bar together, and Blaze tried to hook him up, but he was still thinking about Winter all the time, and it wouldn't feel right to go out and meet some girl when he still cared about her, especially when he made a promise he would see her again, if he started seeing someone else, it would pretty much be cheating.

The girl didn't hold it against him, and Blaze REALLY didn't hold it against him because those two girls were fucking WILD in bed.

"I'm just saying dude, you told me how that lady of yours left, and she hasn't been back for awhile, don't you think its time to move on?" He asked as Jeremiah sighed.

"I know she's coming back, its just that her work requires her to move around a lot." He said as Blaze chuckled.

"What is she? Some kind of special forces operative?" He asked not knowing how close that was to the truth.

"Eh…Close enough." Jeremiah muttered.

"Well, I won't make you go if you don't want to, but one last thing, you have my share of Venison?" Blaze asked as Jeremiah walked over to a freezer.

"Yep, right here." He pulled out a box full of packages of ground up venison.

When he first moved up here, it was a little difficult to adjust to bow hunting, but he managed to get the hang of it, on the bright side, he still had Red Dawn for when the going got tough, he carried that weapon wherever he went. It was a great thing to have.

"Thanks man, I swear to god, if it wasn't for you stocking up on this shit, I would have to do my own grocery shopping." He said as Jeremiah smirked.

"Don't think you're getting off that easily, aren't you forgetting something." He said as Blaze nodded and reached into his truck bed.

"Yeah, here we go, vegetables grown from my roommates's basement greenhouse…you know she really likes you." He said as Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

"I caught her going through my laundry, I already have one crazy stalker, I don't need another." He said as Blaze chuckled.

"Well according to her, she was just getting ready to do your laundry as a favor." Even though Blaze has his doubts, his roommate could be…odd.

"Well, you go and have fun, remember to wear a condom, and try not to stay out too late." Jeremiah said as Blaze nodded.

"And what are you doing to do?" He asked before he got back in his truck.

"Well, I have to go check some snare traps I set up, see if I managed to catch anything yet." He said as he still couldn't set up traps for shit.

He had been getting better, but damn he hadn't caught any small game. How is it that hunting big game was easier than trapping hare? He didn't know, all he knew was that he needed to check them, because if by dumb luck he managed to catch something, he didn't want to leave it up there to rot.

That would be a waste of good rabbit meat.

"Okay, just be careful up there, you know how things can get this time of year, bears are moving around a lot." Blaze said as that was the one thing they had to watch out for.

"Relax, I'll be careful." Jeremiah said as he waved Blaze off.

"Interesting fellow." He said as he checked the time.

"Damn, I got to get going." He said as he loaded up his truck, it was another Dodge Dakota, but he went with a 2010 instead of a 2000, due to it being younger and in much better condition than his truck back home.

He needed to drive half way there, and then get out and hike the rest of the way, but that was okay, he was completely fine either way.

He hopped into his truck as he looked at a photo in his wallet.

"Been one whole year huh? Really miss you Winter…" He said to himself as he looked at the photo again.

"I'm still hoping you'll find a way back, but seems like you haven't had much luck so far.." He said as he put the photo back and started to drive to the designated area.

He sighed; he figured convincing the council would be hard, but he didn't think it would take this long, hell, he didn't even know how she was doing, if the battle of beacon had already passed, what was she doing? How was she? He needed answers, but he couldn't get any.

It's why he moved out here, to help take his mind off of things and get closer to nature, after all, after college ended and his dreams of joining the military were shattered, he just needed to get away. He still called his parents everyday to let them know how he was doing, but it was still hard to accept that his life had changed drastically.

A man needed to keep his mind occupied, and it just so happened that Jeremiah had the perfect getaway.

One dream came true, he got his cabin just like he said he would, but no one to share it with, no wife or girlfriend to come home to, no kids running around the place, he was lonely, and he had no one to talk to except for Blaze, and that guy was usually busy off getting laid. Seriously, that dude must have a big dick, because Jeremiah had seen the women coming out of his place, it was amazing.

"Well, time to hike." He said as he got out of his truck. Taking his gun and his survival bag with him, complete with tools, flint and steel, extra ammo, and a jug of moonshine.

With every step he took, he thought back to the memories he shared with Winter, some were good, some were bad, and some were just way too weird to think about. He still remembered the time she chased him up the Sears tower, how he didn't end up dying, he still didn't know, all he knew was that it may have been an unorthodox way of meeting a woman, but it ended up working out for him.

"I wonder what she's doing?" He asked as he crawled over a few dead trees.

"Maybe off fighting Grimm?" He asked himself as he had to jump down through a crevasse.

"Or maybe she's off trying to save the world." He then had to climb up a rock wall in order to get to the place he set up his traps.

"Or maybe she's just off doing her own thing, who knows?" He asked as he looked into the distance.

"Oh hey! I might have caught something." He said as he saw something in the trap.

That got his mind off of her, for once he may be eating lean rabbit meat, he had eaten rabbit stew before, but it had been so long, and he imagined it would taste even better when you actually caught your own meat. So he was looking forward to this.

"Think about how good this is going to taste…" His mouth was watering at the thought of it.

"Nice lean rabbit stew, a few vegetables thrown in, spice it up with Garlic, damn oh damn, that's some good stuff." Anyone who has ever had Rabbit stew knows it is delicious.

He was just getting more and more excited, this would be the first rabbit stew he managed to cook out of a fresh kill. So this was a big day for him.

"Ah here we go." He said as he walked over to his snare trap.

"YES!" He said as he saw a single rabbit.

"Ah, there we go, a nice big one, that will make a great stew." He said as he was pretty happy with this.

"I wonder…wait…" He said as he noticed something odd about the other traps.

They were definitely set off, but the red stains on the grass was a giveaway that something was going on.

"Weird, there are blood strains all over the other traps, but this one is completely fine, what could have-" He was cut off as he heard the sound of something growling.

"Oh crap…please tell me its not what I think it is." Seriously, if it was what he thought it was, Blaze was going to laugh his ass off.

"Fuck…" Jeremiah said as he whipped around to see what it was.

Only to see a very pissed off Grizzly beer standing seven feet tall. It's mouth dripping with flesh and blood of the rabbits it was munching on before he showed up. It was not happy about its free meals being stolen away, even if it had already eaten the rest, there was another predator there to steal its food, and it did not look kindly on those that would steal food.

One thing was for sure, Jeremiah was scared out of his mind.

"Big bear…" He said to himself as he reached for his gun. If he could get it and shoot it, he would be fine.

Only for the bear to knock it out of his hands and swing a paw at him. Jeremiah knew he had to act quickly as he rolled out of the way, only to see that the bear now had a paw on Red Dawn. He no longer had a weapon, all he had was his bag, most of which was tools and moonshine, the only thing he had was a tiny survival knife that wouldn't put a dent in that thing.

"So let me get this straight, I finally caught a rabbit, only to find out I pissed off a hungry Grizzly bear, which proceeded to knock my gun out of my hand, and the only thing I have left to defend myself with is this knife." He said as it was only about four inches long.

The bear responded by roaring at him.

"Shit."

Well…time to be a man.


	52. Winters Day and Big bear

**Okay, so here is chapter 2 since I was just so excited to publish it, I didn't want to wait till tomorrow. So here we go. Anyways, as you can tell Blaze N Fiero is blaisingfire, he gets his own cameo.**

 **Anyways, so when we last left our heroes, Jeremiah was about to fight a bear, will he make it out of it alive? Or will he become a steaming pile of bear shit? Lets find out!**

 **Also blaisingfire did help with one part of this chapter, lets see if you can guess which one?**

* * *

"Miss Schnee, General Ironwood wants you on deck." A soldier said as Winter turned around.

"I'm on my way." She said as she began the walk down the hall.

Had it already been three months? Yes it had, Winter had been back home for three months. And while it was good to get back to work, she also had a new task, trying to get Ironwood to convince the council to let her go back for visits to Planet Earth. They refused every time, as they saw the planet as a barbaric civilization, hardly fitting for the residents of Remnant.

Everytime she made a request, she was shot down almost immediately. Ironwood tried to help her, but there was only so much he could do. She let out a sigh as she thought about it, she couldn't help it, every once in awhile, she would think about the times she spent on earth with Jeremiah. She wasn't like one of those women who obsess over someone night and day, Winter completed her duties to the best of her abilities, and she would never let her feelings get in the way of her day to day work life, but she did miss him. Especially when they would just cuddle together after a long day, and watch movies, it was nice and relaxing.

She fingered the St. Michael's Pendant around her neck. People had asked her about it before, she told them it was a gift from someone special. After all, you can't go around telling people you travelled to another world, fell in love with a man from said world, and then he gave you a pendant symbolizing his faith, people would think you're nuts.

"I wonder how he's doing?" She said as she looked at the symbol of St. Michael defeating Satan.

"Well, whatever he's doing, I hope he's doing a good job." She said as she continued her walk.

She knew of his plans after he finished school, so she figured he must be doing something like that. Who knows? Maybe he was in the army like her? Or maybe another branch, she didn't know. It was fun to imagine what he was doing.

Well, most of the time, she also found herself worrying for him. For one reason and one reason only.

Tigerstripe Fangbite, she had left him there all alone with that psycho. A psycho that his parents suspected had something to do with him getting stabbed.

Winter didn't want to think that anyone would be that deranged, but at the same time, she couldn't deny how awfully convenient it was that a man tried to stab her only hours after they ran into his ex at the restaurant, so maybe she did have something to do with it?

Winter couldn't believe that someone could be THAT deranged. Hopefully Jeremiah would never have to deal with her again. Hopefully, but at the same time she found herself worried for his safety.

She believed that Momma referred to Tigerstripe as a 'Yandere' she had no idea what that was, but it didn't sound good. And apparently had something to do with having an obsession with a man. She shook her head, it was best not to dwell on things like that.

Every time she thought of that girl digging her nasty claws into HER man, she got pissed. Couldn't that woman just leave him alone? For Oum's sake, who couldn't just move on and get on with their life when it was clear that the man you supposedly 'Cared' about did not want to become a furry?

"Are you okay Schnee?" Ironwood said as he noticed that Winter had been clenching her fists on the way here.

"I'm fine, just thinking about something." She said as he just went along with it.

He learned a long time ago that if a woman was pissed because she was thinking about something, then it was a good idea not to ask, because it would lead to nothing but a long conversation that would leave her even more pissed off.

"Do you know why I called you here?" He asked as she shook her head.

"Recent shipments of dust have been being hijacked, we rendezvous at a facility to pick up the dust, and then we make the trip to your home to pick up the paperwork from your father, and then finally off to Beacon in order to deliver the shipment ourselves." Wait, Winter remembered this.

She saw Vol. 3 herself, and this was the point around the Vytal tournament in which she came to visit Weiss, and of course slapped her for going over her scores and not over her personal life. Either way, she knew was was going to happen next.

"So we're needed for extra security?" She asked as she knew Ironwood knew the details.

Granted, he was a little shocked to hear about her adventure when she came back from Earth. And Ozpin had been thorough in his explanation when it came to his machines. Unfortunately at this point in time, he could not send all of his machines back to Atlas, that would cause suspicion. What he was able to do was move some divisions back to Atlas, while bringing in more human troops.

At the same time, he took protocol to install high end software in the knights they did have in order to prevent possible hackings. But the technology was still not perfected, so it was unknown how many would fail and how many would work.

In other words, they better hope that things go better than they expected.

"Sir, about the festival…what are we going to do about Cinder?" She asked as they now knew who the culprit was.

"Unfortunately we can't just swoop in and arrest her under suspicion of espionage and terrorism, we have no proof, we need physical evidence, I may be in charge of protecting the people, but I am still bound by law." He said as that was something they couldn't work around.

"How are we going to catch her in the act if we know her plans?" Winter asked because as soon as they sensed that things were not going the way they planned, then they would work on another.

"Like I said, as of now, they don't know how many units we sent back, as far as they know, they were sent back to Atlas listed as defective in need of repair, any information she does get would be useless, she can't use defective robots, and she can't stop those transport ships by herself." He said as he looked away.

"Out of curiosity, how much of a chance do you think we have of getting away without someone getting hurt?" She asked as even with their advanced knowledge, their plan of retaliation was still a wee bit shaky.

"I would say a solid 51/49 percent." He said as Winter looked a bit worried.

"So pretty much half." She said as she looked at him.

"What about the maiden?" She asked as Ironwood breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was the one thing we were able to hide, she didn't know where she was in the first place, so there is no way she could have known she was being moved, that's the one Trump card we do have in our favor." Winter breathed out a sigh of relief as well.

Good to see that they had one good thing going for them.

"Now all that's left is to maintain our position." He said as he turned to the window.

"Is that all Sir?" She asked as he nodded.

"That will be all Schnee, get to your transport, we don't want your father to complain why his daughter wasn't there to receive the shipment herself." James rolled his eyes.

Jacques Schnee may have been an important contributor to the Atlesian Army, but the man was an ass. Oum knows how his family put up with him for so long.

"Oh joy." She said to herself as she walked out of the room.

"And what of Torchwick and his associate?" She asked as she hadn't heard from them.

"Locked up, I don't know how you managed to get them to turn themselves in, but it sure played in our favor." He said as he couldn't believe it when Glynda came back with the two.

Currently they were being held in separate cells, the weird thing was that when they came back through, the smaller one had a bag of cookies with her.

He shivered at that memory, a soldier tried to take the cookies away, he was in the infirmary for a month. After that, they just let her have them, and she went to her cell with no problem.

Well, that was one less thing to worry about. Her thoughts went to Jeremiah again. He had a funny way of showing up in her mind, almost like a tumor, but less annoying and dangerous. Either way, she still wondered what he was up to.

She was certain that Jeremiah was doing one of two things.

Either drinking and having fun.

Or got himself mixed up in something crazy.

Or possibly a bit of both?

And knowing him, it was the probably the third option. But eh, maybe it wasn't so bad.

After all…

What kind of trouble could he be in?

 **Meanwhile in Alaska**

"FUCK TITTY ASS SHIT!" Jeremiah was holding a bleeding side.

He tried to get the bear to step off of his gun so he could grab it and hopefully put an end to this. But nothing was working, so far he had to deal with the fact that bears were much faster than you would think. He already knew the 'Don't run away from a bear, you'll die tired.' But this was just insane, that bear moved faster than some of the fighters he had seen on TV. He was like the GSP of Grizzlys. And it was driving him nuts.

"Oh, I'm pissed…" He said as he was looking at the bear.

"Okay, what to do when you see a bear?" For some reason his thoughts went back to Game of thrones.

" _Well, she was no ordinary lady, she was-"_ Okay, nevermind, he knew what Tormund did to that bear, and there was no fucking way that was going to happen.

"Geez, why the hell did I set the traps on a high point?" He asked himself as he looked over the area.

On one side was a giant steep hill that he would be trying not to fall down on, and the other side was a thirty foot drop, which one again, would not be in his best interest, so either way he was hosed.

"Okay, hang on." The bear was being steady and looking at him while growling and baring its teeth.

He picked up his phone and dialed a number.

 **AT A NIGHT CLUB**

"WOOOOO! I LOVE THIS PLACE!" Blaze said as he was currently getting lap dances.

The lucky shit had strolled into the local strip club, and by luck of the draw, he was their thousandth customer, so now he was being treated to free drinks, free lap dances, and free food. So needless to say he was having a good time.

He didn't even notice the phone that was ringing with Jeremiah's name being shown as the caller ID.

"THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!" He said as he was just as happy as a clam.

 **BACK WITH JEREMIAH**

"Blaze! You fucking asshole! Answer the phone! I'm about to be mauled by a bear, and you're sitting around probably sticking your cock in some lady you met that night! Come on man! Need your help here!" He said as he was hoping Blaze would bring some help.

He tried to call the police or local fish and game wardens, but all he could get was Blaze's number. In other words, he was screwed.

"Worst night of my life…" He said as the bear charged forward.

"AH!" He rolled out of the way of its charge.

"I got it!" He said as he ran towards Red Dawn.

"Going to get it! Going to get it!" He said as he grabbed it.

"GOT IT!" He said but then he made a mistake.

He pressed the button that changed it into its knife and tomahawk form. Just as the bear came from behind and grabbed him by the belt.

"OOOHHHH NOOOOOO!" He yelled as he was being dragged back. All he managed to get was the bowie knife, well at least it was better than the tiny survival knife he had.

He was flipped over by the bear as it went to bite into his neck.

"SHIT!" He yelled as he knew what he had to do…and it was gonna suck.

He moved his body so that the bear would bite down on his shoulder.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!" He screamed out in pain as this was probably the most painful thing he had ever endured. Especially with the bear constantly moving around and digging its teeth even deeper into him.

"GET OFF OF ME!" He yelled as he jabbed the bowie knife into the Bear's throat.

"GGGGGGGGGRRRRRR." The bear growled in pain as blood poured out of the wound.

The blood splashed all over Jeremiah's face, chest, arms, and in his mouth. He could taste the iron in the blood. And it drove him wild. Knowing that he had managed to wound this giant beast, and the fact that he was still alive filled him with adrenaline.

"Agh!" The sudden force snapped some of the teeth off in Jeremiah's arm.

Which was actually a good thing, anyone who has ever been stabbed with anything knows that you shouldn't remove the object penetrating you until you could find help, granted with teeth, there was a chance those could become infected quickly if he didn't do something.

Jeremiah stood up, his left arm in pain and bleeding due to being bit, his side wound had already managed to coagulate, so he wasn't in danger of bleeding from there, but one thing was for sure, he was going to have one hell of a story to tell when he got out of here.

"Okay you bastard." Jeremiah said as he ran back over to his weapon as he shifted it back into its rifle form.

He reached into his survival bag, luckily he had a bandage he could press on the shoulder wound until he could get it looked at. Honestly the only thing he was worried about now was getting out alive.

He pointed his rifle at the bear, because it was getting ready to charge again.

"Say goodnight Smokey." He said as he put his finger on the trigger.

Now, Jeremiah had not fired this weapon once since he got it from Ruby, mostly because he didn't know how destructive dust bullets could be, but considering he was in a life or death situation, it was obvious he needed to use it now.

He saw a quick rustling in the bushes that distracted him as he pulled the trigger.

"What the-" Suddenly there was a large explosion as he was blown back.

"SHIT!" Was the last thing they heard him say.

The smoke cleared, the bear was dead, but something else was wrong.

Jeremiah was missing, and nowhere to be found.

 **IN REMNANT**

Jacques Schnee was a man who was called by many names. Genius, Innovator, Slave laborer, Faunus hater, Philanthropist, any name under the sun, both good and bad, he had been called various things from opponents and friends alike.

He was a man who prided himself on his wit and business demeanor. A man who turned a company that was struggling around, and made it into a multil billion lien corporation. A man who had earned the respect of governments all over the world.

A man who had a plan for every single possible event that could go wrong.

Nothing could stump him, and nothing could surprise him.

He was just that good.

It pissed his opponents off because they couldn't find a way to get the drop on him. Many of his competitors tried and they failed to, but they just couldn't match him.

They even tried to invest in smaller dust stores in order to try and get them to grow and become a thorn in his side, but those plans failed like the rest. No one could compete with the Schnee Corporation.

Jacques was a man who was prepared for anything.

But what he WASN'T prepared for was when just as he as about to turn the shower on. A shirtless bearded man covered in blood and wounds with a bag slinged over his shoulder and a rifle in his hands appeared in front of him, it was safe to say he was caught off guard.

"AH WHAT THE SHIT! WHERE AM-" He was cut off as he looked right in front of him.

"Woah….sorry about your dick bro." He had never seen something so small.

"GUARDS!" Jacques yelled as the bearded man realized where he was.

"SHIT!" He yelled as he punched the man in the dick and ran out the door.

He was in trouble!


	53. Escape from Schnee Mansion

**Okay, so this is the longest chapter I have probably written for this story, anyways, here we go again. So I'm amazed that I haven't actually stopped updating as frequently as I did when I was trying to beat my deadline for finishing Arc 1.**

 **Granted I have relaxed, I am now just trying to go with one chapter a day, mostly so I won't finish too quickly, for any of you with boyfriends or girlfriends, you know that finishing quickly can kill the fun.**

 **Anyways, so some are asking me where I plan on going with this, well, to be honest I'm just a tumbleweed making this shit up as I go along, I do have some plot points that I plan on bringing into the story, but that will have to wait for later.**

 **For now, enjoy the fruits of my Captain Morgan influenced fanfic.**

 **Also quick warning, yes I was slightly tipsy when I made this, and I was thinking of ways to screw with Whitley, I do not really enjoy Character bashing, and some scenes in this may seem like it.**

 **But for those of you who may not like to see Character bashing, no worries, this chapter will be a bit ridiculous, but the rest will be toned down.**

* * *

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Jeremiah yelled as he ran out into the hallway.

"Woah, this is a nice place." He said as he started to run through the halls.

"Guards! There is an assassin on the loose!" The man from the shower yelled as Jeremiah groaned.

"Oh come on! I'm not an assassin you asshole!" He said as he heard guards coming.

"Damn, I need a place to hide, if he is as big of a dick now as he was on the show, he's going to have me killed. Come on JC think! Think!" He said as he looked around.

He saw a slightly opened door; he did a quick look around when he saw there were no guards around. And he took a dive in and locked the door behind him. Somehow that seemed like a bad idea, granted, there were not a lot of places to hide, so he just prayed that the guards were stupid enough to not search this room.

He heard footsteps running past, they continued to run, and run, until eventually they faded into footsteps, he breathed a sigh of relief, but he still tip toed around the place as he wasn't sure if they were waiting to bust in at the last second.

"Okay, where am I?" He asked as he looked around.

It was a simple bedroom, with a king size bed, a few dozen bookcases, a desk, and a balcony, along with some various other devices he assumed were used for entertainment. This was someone's bedroom, but whose was it?

"Got to be something I can use to clean up around here." He said to himself as he looked around.

"The Art of Conquering Your Rival Corporations? Must be Jacques room." He said as that seemed like a hell of a book to have.

"These Kleenex are worthless." The blood on his body had already dried, so he would need to wash it off later. Right now he looked like a damn barbarian.

It also didn't help that he was wounded and shirtless, that and the beard and shaved head only gave him more of a wild savage look. So all in all, he did not belong in this room.

"Huh? What are these?" He asked as he saw a few hidden magazines.

"Playfaunus, Bunny edition? Oh you got to be kidding me, Winter's dad has a faunus fetish?" Jeremiah flipped the pages really quick.

That was until he noticed that two of the pages were stuck together.

"JESUS!" He almost yelled as he dropped it, that obviously wasn't glue sticking them together.

CLICK

" _Shit!"_ Someone was coming in, he looked around, there had to be a place to hide.

"Bed." He whispered to himself as he dived under it.

Yeah, not the best means of hiding yourself, but considering what had been going on. He was running out of options. So he dived underneath while shifting Red Dawn into its pistol form while holding the bowie knife part in his other hand.

"For Oum's sake, can't find any good help these days." A younger voice said as Jeremiah saw a small pair of feet at the edge of the bed.

" _Oh god…this isn't Jacque's room…"_ Wrong Schnee.

This was Shitley's room…yes he knew that wasn't his real name, but considering Whitley was an asshole, he was changing his name to that.

"I can't believe it took them that long just to shine the armor in the historical artifacts display, what is there to hold you back? It's a bunch of armor! Gosh, I swear as soon as I inherit this fortune, I'm throwing all those barbaric relics out of this house." The voice said as Jeremiah was getting angry.

" _And I thought I disliked the little prick before."_ He thought to himself as he saw a hand reach under the bed.

"Now where is it?" Whitley thought as he was reaching close to Jeremiah.

" _What the hell is he reaching f-"_ Jeremiah's thoughts were cut off as he saw a stack of magazines.

Thinking quickly before he was discovered, he pushed them towards Whitley's hand.

"Ah, there we go." He said as he pulled out the stack and Jeremiah could see what they were now that they were out from under the bed.

" _Playfaunus, HouseBroken and collared? Jesus Christ what is wrong with this kid?!"_ Seriously? At that age, Jeremiah wasn't into that weird shit. Seriously was that some weird BDSM/furry edition? If so, wow that was just wrong.

He really hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

He was okay with people having fetishes, but how was this kid getting a hold of those magazines already? Seriously? There was no way he was having a servant buy them for him, was he? No, on second thought, it would do no good to think of it.

"Now where did I leave off?" He heard his voice say again.

" _He isn't going to…."_ Jeremiah REALLY didn't want to be here.

And then he heard a zipper.

"OKAY!" Jeremiah popped out from under the bed.

"A-" Whitely was about to scream but Jeremiah covered his mouth and pointed his gun at him.

"Don't even think about screaming, don't even move, and I swear to god, if those pants don't stay right where they are, I will get very pissed off!" Jeremiah was not in the mood for games.

Now Whitley was an arrogant person, he thought of himself as superior, and he saw those who would resort to violence as barbarians who had no place in their society. BUT, when a bald headed bearded man covered in blood holding a gun to your head gives you an order, YOU LISTEN.

"Master Whitley? Is everything alright?" Jeremiah grabbed Whitley and pulled him to his feet.

"Answer the door, and don't even think about telling them I'm here." He said as Whitley nodded as Jeremiah took cover.

" _And great, this will look good, I just took a hostage, just great."_ That was sure to help his chances of getting out of here alive.

The force was definitely not strong with him today. Add that onto the fact that he looked like he was sacrificing an animal…well actually that was not TOO far off, but the point is before he came here, he was fighting a bear, so the adrenaline was still coursing through his veins.

"Master Whitley?" Klein asked as the boy opened the door.

"I-I'm fine." He said as he could see a gun pointed at him out of the corner of his eyes.

"I heard a yell." Klein said as he needed to check on the boy.

"O-Oh! That, I uh, I fell." Klein could see the boy was lying.

"Now Master Whitley, this is a serious problem, an assassin just tried to attack your father…" Whitley's eyes widened as he realized who the man in his room was.

Klein walked into the room as Jeremiah hid away hopefully out of sight.

"And I should investigate to make sure that you are-" Klein was cut off when he saw a magazine on the floor.

"Safe…" He said as he picked it up and read the title.

"W-What is this?!" He said as he couldn't believe what he was reading.

"I swear to Oum! I can explain!" Great, now Whitley was being held hostage, and his nudey magazines were discovered.

"This is unacceptable! No wonder you look so sweaty! I'll have to report this to your father!" Klein walked away from where Jeremiah was hiding and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's not the problem!" Whitley couldn't believe this was happening to him right now.

"Just stay here and lock your door! Good lord, as if we didn't have enough problems with this assassin running about." Klein said as he took every single magazine Whitley had hidden away.

"No please!" The door slammed shut as Whitley was all alone with this psycho.

"I did you a favor!" Jeremiah said as Whitley held his hands up.

"Please! I can give you money! Power! Wealth! I'm the heir to the Schnee Dust Corporation, I can give you that!" He said as Jeremiah raised an eyebrow.

"No, you're not, your sister is…" He said as he wasn't sure when he landed here.

"Well…she doesn't know yet.." Okay that answered his question, so it was before the fall of beacon, that was good.

On the flip side, Weiss and Winter's dad was an even bigger douche than he thought.

"Look, I don't want your money, I don't want power, I just want ONE simple thing, can you do that?" Jeremiah honestly wanted to get this over with.

"What is it?! I'll give it to you!" He said as Jeremiah got closer.

"I need to get out of here, and you're going to help me do it…." He said as Whitley nodded.

"You want out! I can get you out!" That was all the stranger wanted? Really?

"And I need a shirt…" He said as he realized he should probably be more prepared.

"Done!" Whitley couldn't believe how easy this would be.

"And some medicine if you have it." Whitley pointed to a medicine cabinet above his desk.

"Perfect, and one more thing…..I need a few…hundred lien." He said as he got the feeling he was going to need currency.

"That's it?" Whitley couldn't believe it.

" _This is the dumbest assassin and terrorist I have ever heard of."_ He broke into the Schnee mansion just for an escape and a few hundred lien? Must be really desperate and really stupid.

"Don't get smart with me you little shit." He said as Whitley nodded.

"Of course! Top drawer! In my dresser!" He saidas Jeremiah led him over to it.

"Get it yourself, I'm not letting you out of my sight." Jeremiah did not trust him enough to turn his back.

"Very well…" Whitley dug out a giant wad of lien he had for pocket change.

" _Holy Hell! Rich kid is stacked! Kid has more money in his sock drawer than I used to have in my entire bank account!"_ That was so unfair.

"There we go, I even added in another few hundred in exchange for my life." Whitley figured if he sweet talked the terrorist he would be let go.

"And how do you propose to get me out of here?" He asked as Whitley looked around.

"There is a gate that goes to our loading docks, I can get you there!" He said as Jeremiah grabbed him.

"Oh no you don't! You'll just call security, I ain't going into that hall-" He suddenly looked up an saw a ventilation shaft.

" _No freaking way….Winter….if you were here right now, you would be laughing your ass off, because looks like its time to go 'Die Hard' on this bitch."_ He thought as he smiled.

"Do you know this house?" He asked as Whitley nodded.

"Like the back of my hand." He replied as Jeremiah smirked.

"What about the ventilation?" He asked as his hostage looked confused.

"Well, yes, but I don't see what." Suddenly he was grabbed by the collar.

"Come on Rich bitch, we're going through the ventilation shaft." He said as Whitley freaked out.

"WHAT?! IT'S DIRTY IN THERE!" He tried to yell.

"If you want, I could put a bullet in your ass." He threatened as he REALLY didn't want to seem like the bad guy.

"…To the vents." Whitley said as Jeremiah opened up the shaft.

"You lead the way, just remember, the bullet in the ass threat still stands." Jeremiah warned as Whitley crawled on his hands and knees.

"But…its so…dirty." He said as he could feel years of dust.

"A little dust never hurt anyone you prissy princess, now move!" He said as he crawled in after his hostage.

So lets get this straight, Jeremiah was attacked by a bear, then was treated to a peep show that felt like he was staring at microbes, and now he has taken Winter's younger brother hostage and is using him to help him escape the Schnee mansion. Honestly, he really hoped she didn't kill him for this.

And that was when a thought appeared in his mind, he was in Remnant! He could see Winter again! A grin grew on his face as he realized he could find her! But it faded when he realized that he had to escape first. And then he grumbled to himself.

"How long do these go on for?" He asked as Whitley snarled on him.

"If we had taken the hallways, we wouldn't be having this problem!" He couldn't believe this man was making him crawl though nearly a mile of ventilation shaft.

"Too bad, life isn't fair, suck it up buttercup." Jeremiah really didn't like this kid.

 **OUTSIDE THE MANSION**

"What do you mean I can't get in?" Winter couldn't believe the guards wouldn't let her in.

"Just as we said Miss Schnee, your father has called for a state of emergency, no one is allowed in or out." The guards said as there were tons of Atlesian knights surrounding the complex.

"I am on orders from the Atlesian army to get his signature for a dust delivery! Do you not see the transport ships we have here?" She gestured to the ships that were gathering at the loading docks.

"I understand that, but a man just tried to kill your father, surely you can understand his panic." The guard said as Winter couldn't believe this.

She really needed to get to Beacon, was this what happened in the show when Jeremiah showed her those dvds? Because seriously, she was really starting to dislike off screen moments, because you think things would go a certain way. Only to find all the boring annoying stuff that happens off screen. Except this was her real life, and it was freaking annoying.

"For Oum's sake, we're Atlesian soldiers, I'm sure if you just ask him, he'll let us in." Winter said as the guard shook his head.

"He's worried one of your men may be the assassin in disguise, I'm sorry Miss Schnee, you'll just have to wait." The man said as Winter was frustrated.

"Fine, I'll wait, if you want to explain to General Ironwood why this is taking so long." She was using her Trump card.

"I'm sure he would have something else to say if his largest supplier was found dead." The guard shot back.

Great, there was no talking sense into this guy. Whoever this assassin was, he was being a real pain in the ass. She swore to god, it would have been easier to get in if they had just shot her father. Not that she was wishing for that, but it would have been less of an inconvenience.

Wow, she actually felt bad for thinking that.

She leaned back against her own ship as a young enlisted man came up to her.

"What's the status Maam?" He asked as she looked at him.

"Apparently my idiot father has someone after him." She said as the soldier nodded.

"So should we get ready to fight this man?" He asked wondering if they were meant to cease the suspect.

"No, we've been forbidden from entering the grounds." She said as the man looked baffled.

"Wait, forbidden? We're the military! We're here to help!" He said as Winter looked at him.

"Trust me Private Radar, stubbornness can lead to stupid decisions." She said as she leaned back and closed her eyes.

She had places to be and a sister to see!

 **BACK IN THE VENTILATION SHAFT**

"How much longer?" Jeremiah asked as he was poking Whitley with his gun.

"About another few feet." He said as he was glad this was almost over.

"I don't see how you plan on getting down there." Whitley said as Jeremiah saw they were far from the ground.

"Damn…." He didn't expect the height gap to be THAT tall.

If he jumped from this height, it would only result in possibly breaking a bone, and then he would be really screwed.

CRREEEEAAAKKK

Jeremiah saw that the noise was coming from the shaft they were in at the moment, he went blank for a second, and then he got a really, REALLY stupid idea.

"Hey Douchenozzle, how old are these vents?" He asked as Whitley didn't understand the question.

"About a decade or two, they've been meaning to repla-" Whitley was cut off as Jeremiah suddenly started making jumping motions.

"WHAT ARE YOU DO-" Suddenly he heard a crack.

"IIINNNNGGGG!" Whitley yelled on the way down as the vent shaft broke from the ceiling and down into the loading dock.

"Oof." Whitley fell out first.

And then Jeremiah came tumbling after him and landed on him.

"OW!" Whitley cried out as he felt his spine crack a bit.

"Ah, there we go, that was fun." He said as he grabbed Whitley.

"So this is it?" He asked as this was the large door that opened to the loading docks.

"Yes, now you'll let me go?" Whitley wanted this nightmare to be over with.

"Sure, I wi…wait, what is that?" He asked as he saw another door.

"That's the door leading to the armor exhibit of the house." Whitley said as Jeremiah grabbed him and took a quick peek inside.

Only to see that this area of the house had a large statue of a knight, he was holding a spear out like a flag, at a point that was high off the ground. And the best part was that he saw there was a balcony you could use to get on the knight statue.

"You said you would let me go! I led you here!" Whitley was scared he was going to be a hostage for longer than he expected.

"Hey! I'm a man of my word, but first…" He turned to look at Whitley in the eyes.

"This is for what you're going to do." He said as he dragged him into that room.

"What do you mea-"

All you could hear was the sound of something being pulled

 **BACK AT THE GATES**

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They heard a high pitched voice scream out as Winter was shook from her nap.

"What was that?!" She said as her men prepared their weapons.

"Miss Schnee! You can't go in-" Winter punched the guard.

"Someone is in trouble! We can't sit here any longer!" Winter yelled as she couldn't turn away a woman in danger.

And this woman who screamed was obviously under serious duress!

"Maam! It's coming from that end of the house!" The soldiers said as they started running.

"Surround the perimeter! Make sure no one gets out!" She ordered as they nodded and ran off

"Yes Maam!" They got ready to fight.

Winter was not going to let someone get hurt because some guards didn't want her in. Consequences be damned! How could they hear a girl scream and not do anything!

"PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!" The high pitched voice screamed out again as they got closer.

She rounded the corner ready to fight….Only to nearly die laughing.

"Pffttt…" She had to resist the urge to laugh.

"FOR OUM'S SAKE! GET ME DOWN!" The high pitched voice was revealed to belong to Whitley.

Who looked like he had the most PAINFUL wedgie ever as he was hanging from the spear point of one of her father's giant knight statues. She was trembling as she was trying not to laugh.

"WINTER! PLEASE! GET ME DOWN!" Whitley couldn't believe he had to ask his 'barbaric' sister for help.

"Pffft, HA HA HA HA!" Winter couldn't take it anymore, she burst out laughing.

"Miss Schnee! We have surrounded the peri-" Some of her soldiers saw the predicament.

"OH MY OUM! HA HA HA HA!" Here men started laughing as they saw the site.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Whitley was not having a good time.

Not only was his underwear made of expensive material, but it was now causing very uncomfortable chafing and tightness, and it was MISERABLE! And he couldn't move or he just made it worse.

"Oh my oum! This is hilarious!" A soldier said as he snapped a photo with his scroll.

"The guys in Unit 7 are not going to believe this!" He said as he texted it to his friends.

"Wait! Pfft…Don't…ha ha…Don't send…" Winter was trying to order him not to send it, but she couldn't stop laughing.

"And sent!" He said as it was now on his way to his friends.

And Whitley could only put his hands into his face in shame.

This was the worst day of his life! How could this day get any worse.

RIIIIIPPP

"Oh no…no! No! NO!" Whitley looked back to see that his underwear was starting to tear from the strain.

RIP!

"NOOOOOOOO!" He then fell fifteen feet to the ground.

SPLAT

He faceplanted into the ground.

"Ooooohhhh." The soldiers said that looked like it hurt.

But then after they got over that, they started to laugh again.

"You know…they teach us not to laugh in front of the men you're leading…" Winter said as she was supposed to keep a stoic face when in danger.

"But…this Is an exception." She honestly couldn't stop laughing.

The man who did this may be an assassin, but she would buy him a beer just for that.

After she beat the hell out of him of course, she may not like Whitley, but he was still family.

 **ON ONE OF THE TRANSPORT SHIPS**

"Uh, thank god." Jeremiah said as he was able to clean up with a wash basin and a gallon of water he found in storage.

He was cleaning all the blood from his face and body before he put on the shirt. Wouldn't do any good to get blood on this shirt, because this looked like some fine quality material, whatever it was, it felt like Egyptian silk and wool mixed into one, because it was comfortable and warm, and it looked freaking fantastic! Whitley may be an asshole, but he was an asshole with good taste in clothes.

"Doesn't really go with the jeans though…" He took a look at his torn up and stained jeans.

He put the shirt on as he took a look at the wounds on his sides.

The claw marks were easy to treat, unfortunately he did have to use a bit of moonshine to help disinfect the wounds, he read somewhere on the internet that alcohol disinfected wounds, but this was all he had. So begrudgingly, he used it to disinfect his arm and his side.

"Damn waste of moonshine." He said as he felt bad for using that much.

He changed his bandages and reached into his survival bag, he still had all of his tools and the jug of moonshine, amazingly the glass jug did not break or even crack during that whole escapade with Whitley or the bear, he swore that Jesus was on his side then.

"Okay, where is this stuff going?" He asked as he looked at the transport list.

"Destination…Beacon Academy…PERFECT!" He said as he caught a break.

How about that? He hit a spot of good luck!

"Okay, here we go." He heard a voice said as he hid in between a few boxes.

"Do we got everything?" Another voice said as the other one groaned.

"Look buddy, I went over this shipment half a dozen times while they were waiting for that nutcase to call of the search for that assassin, trust me, everything is here, and there is nothing to worry about!" The voice was aggravated.

"Okay, relax, geez." The other one said as they closed the door.

And Jeremiah felt the ground beheath him shake.

"Well…off to Beacon." He said as he laid down.

He pulled out an MRE he had in the bag, it wasn't a five star meal by any rate, but after the day he had, it would taste like thanksgiving dinner.

 **BACK IN ALASKA  
**

"Wow ho ho! Sweetheart! You may want to be a bit more careful." Blaze said as he was leading a woman back to his car.

"You know, I have a 'surprise' for you when we get back to my place." She said with a wink as Blaze was happy.

"This night is awesome…oh hey, what's this?" He asked as he noticed Jeremiah had called him and left a voicemail.

" _BLAZE! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! ANSWER THE PHONE! I'M ABOUT TO BE MAULED BY A BEAR AND YOU'RE SITTING AROUND PROBABLY STICKING YOUR COCK IN SOME WOMAN YOU MET THAT NIGHT! COME ON MAN! NEED YOUR HELP HERE!"_ He heard Jeremiah yelling over the phone as he could hear a bear roaring.

He froze for a bit as he realized that things went very wrong.

"Oh shit…." He said as the woman looked terrified.

"Is everything alright?" She asked as that didn't sound good.

"Uhm, we'll have to continue this another night." He said as she nodded.

"Just go! That sounded serious!" The woman said as he nodded as she hopped out of the car and he drove off.

"Well…damn…" She said as she stood here.

"Too bad…he looked like the kind who would appreciated the surprise I had for him…" She said as she walked away.

He had shown her some of his fanfics when he had a few beers, needless to say, they would have gotten along just fine…oh well.

Mayyyybbe next time.


	54. Jeremiah's Clever Stupidity

**So this one actually took me awhile to write, I don't know, honestly like I said, I'm just a tumbleweed blowing in the wind trying to think of stuff that sounds clever. And its worked so far, but this was a chapter that..eh, just didn't seem fun to write.**

 **On another note, I am back on schedule, and I got until I go back to school tomorrow to write, I forgot it was Martin Luther King Jr day, so I get a day off to write.**

 **Anyways, this is mostly just filler.**

 **Anyways, here we go again.**

* * *

"Where is he?!" Jacques demanded as his son was currently laying on the couch with a lot of ice.

Apparently he had friction burns on his…he didn't even want to say. And it only got worse from there. Some soldiers took pictures of Whitley in an embarrassing position, which wouldn't have been so bad if they didn't send it to their friends, and those friends sent it to their friends, and one of them just happened to be dating a reporter. And he had to bribe those men to delete those photos. He would not let the Schnee name be tarnished by some failed assassin playing a sick joke!

"We couldn't find him sir." The guard said as Jacques was furious.

"This terrorist broke into my house, assaulted me, and took my son as a hostage! I will not rest until he is found and hanged!" Jacques was honestly furious, he didn't honestly think he would have him killed, but in all honesty, he was in a bit of a rage and was not thinking clearly.

"Sir, the authorities won't have him killed, he technically hasn't done anything wrong." A guard said as Jacques looked at him.

"Hasn't gone anything wrong?! He broke into my house! And he kidnapped my son!" What kind of brains did these guards have?

"Well Sir, we can't find an area where he could have broken into, you know how tight security is, there is no way he could have gotten in." The guards even checked the security feed.

"You mean to tell me that this man appeared out of thin air?!" Jacques said as a guard who hadn't been working there long spoke up.

"Well sir, you did say that he just appeared…" He said as Jacques glared at him.

"You're fired." He said as he wouldn't tolerate this man making a fool out of him.

"I want him found, not in a day, not after dinner, NOW"! He said as the guards nodded.

"But Sir, we need a description." They said as Jacques froze.

"Well, he had blood all over his face, he was bald…and he had a beard." That was all he could say.

"What else? There are people all over Remnant who are bald and have beards." The guard said as he was taking notes.

The more he thought of it, he actually didn't get that good of a look at the man, he had just suddenly appeared in his shower, and he was more focused on why there was a man with a gun telling him 'Sorry about your dick bro.' What a vulgar statement. His penis was of adequate length!

One thing was for sure, he wanted this man found!

"Whitley!" He said as his son was still in pain over his atomic wedgie.

"Yes..father…" He said as he couldn't believe this.

"You got a better look at him, what was he like?" Jacques asked as his son had been held hostage.

"He was an ass." That was all Whitley could say.

"I meant his face boy!" Jacques was an impatient man.

"All I know is that he had blue eyes, it was hard to tell with that blood caking his face." Whitley honestly couldn't tell.

"So no hair, beard, and blue eyes, okay at least we have that, do you have any idea where he was going?" His father asked.

"All he said was that he wanted a shirt, medicine, a few hundred lien, and a way out, and then he…well, you can figure out the rest." Whitley said as he winced in pain.

Jacques was confused, what kind of assassin could break into a heavily guarded mansion, assault the Schnee CEO, then hold his son as hostage, and then let his son go? What did this man gain out of it? Was he truly that dumb?

"Are you sure this guy is an assassin Mr. Schnee? Seems a bit far fetched, why didn't he kill Whitley when he had the chance?" The guard asked as Jacques remained silent.

"You can ask him yourself when you catch him!" He said as he turned away.

"You didn't lead him to anything important did you?" Jacques asked his son as Whitley shook his head.

"No, only to the gates and to the armory exhibit, and that was where he left me, I don't understand father, why wouldn't he take anything? Why ask for so little when I am a valuable hostage? Surely the son of a wealthy business mogul would fetch top dollar." Whitley's arrogance was mixed in with his confusion.

"Perhaps it was meant to weaken our resolve…" He said as he looked back.

"My enemies have been trying for years to take us out, but all plans have failed, I thought I had them figured out, but then this happened." He said as he flashed back to that moment in the shower.

"But then this man appears out of nowhere, as much as I hate to admit it, it was like he was just beamed into the room, but teleportation dust is hard to come by, not to mention dangerous. It would take a lucky bastard to come out unharmed." He said to himself as he looked out the window.

"Perhaps this was meant to put fear into us." He said as Whitley raised an eyebrow.

"Fear?" What would be the point.

"Of course, when you think you're untouchable, you start to lose sense of the game, you start to get the feeling that nothing can stop you, and if your enemies know that, they know that they have to do something that will really get your attention, something that will let you know that you are not safe, and they could strike at any time." Jacques said as Whitley was starting to understand.

"Which might be why they attacked you in the shower, not only is it when you're at your most vulnerable, but the resulting press would be a humiliation for the company, and also leave it ripe for the taking." Whitley could see what that terrorist was here for.

"Exactly! They want us to feel afraid, it's too bad they don't realize…" Jacques turned with narrow eyes.

"I have been in this game for much longer than they have, and if they think they are going to get away with this, they're DEAD WRONG." He said while clenching his fists.

"Who do you think it could be?" Whitley said as his father chuckled.

"My son…My son….the better question would be, who could it not be? After all, I've made enemies all over Remnant, with Mine workers, Faunus groups, rival companies, small businesses, even Huntsman, so tell me, which group would benefit the most from my death?" He asked as Whitley thought.

"I would say the Faunus, but unless that man was employed by the white fang or by another faunus group, then that would be unlikely, he had no discernable faunus traits." Whitley may not have been able to see his face very well, but the man definitely was no faunus.

"So that leaves four groups left." He said as he looked at his watch.

"Man, so we all just thought that man was stupid, when in reality, he may prove to be a worthy adversary yet…" Jacques closed his eyes and breathed out.

If this man wanted a war, he would get a war.

And no one gambled with a Schnee and won.

Granted, they were ignorant to one fact.

This was not a planned out attack.

This was just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 **ON BOARD THE TRANSPORT**

"Guh." Jeremiah was pulling the bear teeth from his arm.

"Damn, look at the size of these things." He said as he noticed that they weren't just shards, but actual full sized teeth ripped from the jaws of the bear itself.

"Well, one thing is for sure, I'm going to have one hell of a scar." He said as he looked at his shoulder and his ribs.

"And definitely one hell of a necklace." He said as he looked at the teeth in his hand.

Seriously, as soon as he found the time and place to get these put on a necklace, he would do it in a heartbeat. Right now, he needed to focus on getting to Beacon and getting off of this ship undetected. However, he had no idea where he was going, he knew he was going to Beacon, but which part? Definitely not the front of the school, so probably somewhere in the back. Where they could unload the supplies in peace.

Grrrrrrr

His stomach growled as he groaned, in reality, those MREs he had did not last long for a few reasons, one, because some of them went right through him, and two, he lost some of them during the fight with that bear, it was a miracle he still had anything at all.

"Man, I can't believe she just ditched me like that." He heard two security guards say as he hid again.

"Hate to tell you dude, sometimes that just happens." His buddy said as he looked down on them.

Just your two regular security guards, these guys weren't soldiers, most likely just regular civilians looking to make a honest buck. So they seemed like decent fellows.

"I know man, but you know, I'm not giving up, just because one relationship went bad doesn't mean that I should give up on relationships right?" The older one said as the younger one nodded.

"How do you think it was for me and my boyfriend?" He said as he had been happily dating his man for about a year now.

"You got lucky there, I swear to god your boyfriend cooked better than my ex by far." The older one said with a laugh.

"Yeah, well he's mine, so don't even think about it old timer." The younger one joked as Jeremiah saw something.

A box of donuts sitting right next to them, it was one of those assorted ones, the regular cake donuts, the powdered ones, and the chocolate glazed ones. Great, one of his favorite foods was sitting right there and he couldn't do anything about it.

He was really starting to hate that bear for putting him into this situation…and for stealing his food. And that got him even more pissed when he realized that bear robbed him of rabbit stew. Okay, it was official, if he got back home, he was going to find that bear, and wear its hide around his house. Or make a nice bear rug. That is if he got back to it before it had rotted away.

Anyways, Jeremiah was hungry so he had to be quick.

"Still though, you should come out for a drink with us one time at our local bar." The younger one said as the older one sighed.

"Sorry dude, I'm not gay, I wouldn't feel comfortable going to one of those places." Jeremiah was sneaking in closer as he rolled his eyes.

He had a feeling his younger friend was about to tell him the secret of gay bars.

"Actually dude, on the weekends, you get a LOT of straight women going in there because they're sick of guys ogling them at regular bars, so they go to the local gay bar for when they just want to relax and not be hit on, however, if they get into a conversation with a nice, intelligent guy like yourself, and they find out you're straight, they will suddenly want to get to know you." The younger one said as Jeremiah nodded as he reached for a donut.

"Wow, really?" The older one said as he couldn't believe it.

"Well yeah, if you weren't in the mood to be looked at like a piece of meat, where would you go? The place where you're being hunted like a prize deer, or the place where you won't have to worry about being hit on by men? Which place sounds like a better place for a drink when you're in a bad mood?" The younger man said as the older man looked like he was deep in thought.

"Huh, never thought of it like that, and….wait a minute, weren't there more donuts in that box a second ago?" He asked as Jeremiah had stolen one of each of the assorted donuts.

"Dude, come on, we're the only two here, and we've lost track of how many we've eaten because of how long we've been talking." The younger one stated as the older one shrugged.

"Eh, you're probably right." Meanwhile Jeremiah was smirking in victory.

He had to be careful as he walked back, because the white sugar powder could possibly lead them right to him, and he knew that would be hard to explain. After all, who knows what they would do with a stowaway.

Especially if Jacques had described what he looked like to the authorities. Granted he didn't get a good look at him, so he was maybe safe. He thought back to some movies, and what some people did to escape capture from the law.

" _Shave the beard?"_ He had seen that in a few movies.

"Nope, not doing that." He said to himself.

No way he was getting rid of this beard, he loved it!

Only problem was that was really the only thing that he could think of that might change his appearance a bit. He rubbed his hand through it as he got an idea.

" _I don't need to shave it, but it is down to my chest, how about a more reasonable length?"_ He thought to himself as he reached into his bag and pulled out the survival knife.

He ran his finger over the blade lightly, it was nice and sharp alright.

He grabbed his beard and pulled it out a bit, making It more taut.

"Well, at least I'll get to keep it…" He said as he got to work on shortening it a bit.

Because no way he was going to go clean shaven, while he could pull that look off, he had been growing this beard for too long to let it end here.

 **MEANWHILE AT A LOCAL RAMEN STAND**

"So, how do you think you'll do in your fight?" Ruby asked through bites.

"Manners Ruby." Weiss reminded her.

"Sorry…" She said as she swallowed first.

"How do you guys think you'll do?" She asked Team JNPR.

"Well, considering that Jaune and Pyrrha made us train harder than ever since…you know what." Nora reminded them of their interdimensional travel.

"I think we got this in the bag, plus we already know the strategy and tactics of the other team!" Nora said excitedely.

"Ugh…this Is a lot of food." Jaune said as he was having trouble eating his ramen.

"Jaune you saw what happened to you the first time, why would you order it again?" Pyrrha asked reminding him of Vol. 3.

"It looked good, and I needed to try it." He said as his stomach hated him for overfeeding himself.

But at the same time the food was so good that he couldn't resist the taste. The warm brother, the salty noodles, the chicken added in, it was heaven. Seriously, how could anyone resist that, also why did the same shopkeeper seem to own every single ramen and dust store in Vale? Was he some kind of workaholic?

"Well, we better get going, don't want to wait til the last minute like la-" Pyrrha said as they heard the announcement.

" _Will Team JNPR please report to the arena? Like they were supposed to fifteen minutes ago!"_ Professor Port's voice rang over the intercom.

"Seriously again? Dang, so much for knowing the future." Pyrrha said as they got ready to go to the arena.

"So what do you think Jeremiah is up to?" Nora asked as they all thought back.

"Well, it's been a few months, maybe he graduated from college?" Jaune asked as they looked around.

"Maybe he's already off to the army?" Pyrrha knew he was planning on doing that.

"Whatever he's doing, I hope he's fine." Ren said as they walked off to the arena.

 **BACK ON THE SHIP**

"How the hell do I sneak out of here?" The ship had landed and they were starting to unload the cargo, which while it was good that they were back on solid ground. It was also bad.

Jeremiah was still technically a fugitive on the run from the law, granted maybe nobody would recognize him here, but the problem was that he still couldn't be seen hiding on board this vessel. Otherwise he was sure he would be discovered, and after the crap he pulled at the Schnee Mansion, he was certain Winter's dad would want to hang him up by his testicle.

And who knows what Whitley would try and get him to do. The point was he needed to make sure he got off of this ship with no problem.

"There has got to be something I can u-" He was cut off as he saw that there was one option available to him.

But it was a stupid option….

Then again, Jeremiah never got anywhere in life by taking the smart choice.

"Okay, screw it, its worth a shot." He said as he got ready.

 **OUTSIDE THE SHIP**

"Specialist Schnee, the crates are being unloaded, will you be landing soon?" A private said as he was speaking over a holographic display.

"Actually Private I will be landing in the court yard, no need to wai-" Winter could have sworn she saw something in the background.

"Uhm, Private? Did that cardboard box just move?" She asked as they turned to look.

Sure enough there was a simple cardboard box with an arrow pointing up, but it seemed completely stationary.

"No Maam, must have been brought up by one of the men." He said as Winter shook her head.

Only to see that the box had moved once again.

"Okay, I did not just see that! That box is moving!" She said as the Soldier stuck his index finger into the air.

"There is a breeze in the air, could just be pushed by the wind." He said as Winter shook her head.

"Will you at least check?" She said as the soldiers nodded.

They didn't understand why she seemed so paranoid all of a sudden, after all, what person would be dumb enough to hide under a cardboard box? That sounded like the dumbest form of stealth ever, its huge, boxy, and no one is stupid enough to think anyone would fall for that.

They walked over to the box, one soldier had his gun pointed at it as the other lifted it up.

Nothing.

"No problem Maam, must be the wind." For some reason, Winter was disappointed.

Almost like she missed out on something.

"Very well, finish unloading the rest and report back to duty." She said as they nodded.

Meanwhile Jeremiah was currently walking away with a smirk on his face.

"Solid Snake, eat your heart out." He said with a fist pump.

Now he just needed to get to the court yard, there was just one problem.

"Where the hell am I going?"


	55. As The Qrow Flys

**So this chapter is a bit shorter due to just wanting to cut to the chase. It's also not as fleshed out due to having a problem with my time schedule. Anyways, some are wondering if I do have a schedule for this.**

 **Well like I said, I just make this up as I go along. If I'm honest, I try to at least write one chapter a day for this, and at least one chapter a month for Endless possibilites, because that one takes longer.**

* * *

 **IN ALASKA**

"Jerry! Jerry!" Blaze called out as he found out where Jeremiah was attacked.

He brought along Alaskan State Troopers, they investigated the area, but there was one problem. While they found the dead bear, and a sample of human blood, something else was odd. There was not nearly enough human blood on the ground in order for a human to die, and to make matters even more confusing, there was no trail of blood leading away from the site.

The troopers couldn't figure it out, so they had to call in a detective to come and take a look at it, but he hadn't shown yet.

"This doesn't make sense…" Blaze said as Jeremiah's parents had flown in as soon as he got their call.

"If he didn't lose enough blood to die, and could walk away, why wasn't there a blood trail anywhere near the sight?" Dale said as this wasn't making any sense.

"And if he did get away, then why didn't he go back to his truck?" Momma was worried even though they were certain he was alive.

"I don't get it! It's almost like he vanished into thin air!" Blaze just couldn't figure it out.

If Jeremiah got away then it was obvious that he would have called by now, they didn't even find his cellphone anywhere near, so he obviously still had it. What was going on?

"Are you the parents of Jeremiah Cotton?" A voice said as they turned to see a man dressed rather fancy for this occasion.

"We are…" They said as the man spoke up.

"My name is Cristofer. I'm the detective that was called in." They got a good look at him.

He seemed to be of Hispanic heritage, but his accent seemed to be more west coast? Great a Californian, Jeremiah would hate to hear a Californian was looking for him.

"Well, is there anything you can tell us?" Momma asked as he held up a bag.

"Actually yes, you see, the State troopers while they are good at their jobs missed one thing." He said as he opened the bag and pulled out a pair of ears.

"A pair of animal ears?" Dale said as he was skinning the bear.

"What are you doing?" Blaze kind of felt sick.

"Hey! My son took this thing down! When we find him, he's going want this bear rug!" Dale said as he continued to skin it.

"Anyways, so what, there was a bear here, chances are those were ripped off of another animal beforeand." He said as Cristofer held up a finger.

"I thought so too, but look at these." He said as he handed them to Momma.

"These…these are way too stiff and soft to belong to a real animal….They're fake…" Momma suddenly had a bad feeling.

"Yes, I looked it up, those are a pair of fake wolf ears from a local costume shop." He said as Dale and Momma suddenly froze.

"Oh no…" They said as Blaze looked confused.

"What? Whats that mean?" Blaze didn't know what got them so worried.

"Our Son's Stalker…..she's…She's a furry." Momma said as Blaze started to laugh.

"WAIT! You mean to tell me the crazy stalker he had was a furry?! Oh Jesus! This is priceless!" Even Cristofer was having a hard time trying to contain his laughter.

"Woah, that's fucked up." He said as the parents glared at him.

"Eh hem, sorry, but come on, a furry stalker?" That was something to laugh at.

"So you mean to tell me that this woman followed your son all the way out here…in hopes of turning him furry?" God, it sounded even worse when Cristofer said it like that.

"Yes…she even refers to him as 'Her little wolf.'" Okay, that caused gagging all around.

"Word of advice to your son, he needs to find a girl." Cristofer shivered as he took a drag on a cigarette.

Which oddly looked like it wasn't filled with tobacco.

"He did but….well she's been busy, and she's the reason he was out here, he's been seeking isolation for along time." Momma said as Cristofer nodded.

"Must have been some girl, so has your son ever had problems with the local wildlife before?" He needed be thorough.

"Are you kidding me? That boy killed his first deer when he was four, this was the first time he had ever had a problem with any creature, but he still took it down!" Dale said with pride in his voice.

"Well, I have good news and bad news." Cristofer said as he got a feel as to what was going on.

"Bad news first." Dale knew it would probably be better that way.

"The bad news is, while the bear may not have killed your son, he is probably in the hands of his stalker and she is doing…pfft..GOD knows what to him." Cristofer was trying not to laugh, but it was hard.

"But the good news is he is most likely alive." The parents breathed out a sigh of relief.

"He's going to be wishing he was dead if she succeeds in turning him into a furry, especially with what those nut cases have been up to." Dale said as the detective raised an eyebrow.

"Nutcases?" He knew furries could be crazy, but what could that mean.

"Well, awhile ago, The furries in our state starting going crazy and organizing terrorist attacks, they deemed themselves the White Fang, and were basically screaming for Furry equality and supremacy." Honestly it was pretty messed up.

"Damn…and people say California is messed up." The detective said as the group rolled their eyes.

"You think that's bad, it got to the point where the local Neo Nazi group AND The local Black panther group decided to get together to fight against them…" Dale honestly still couldn't believe it.

Two nutcase organizations coming together to fight one that was even worse. It was like the time the Klu Klux Klan protested the Westboro Baptist Church, it was crazy, and you never expected it to happen. Seriously? How fucked up do you have to be to make those guys think you went too far?

"Well, that's some weird shit, I don't think I ever want to go to Illinois." Seriously what the hell was happening over there?

Then again, you know Illinois was messed up when you took a look and realize that a good portion of their former governors were now in prison or being investigated for crimes.

"Yeah, maybe we should move." Dale thought as suddenly packing up and moving to Alaska with their son seemed like a good idea.

"Wait! The group is named the White fang?" Blaze asked as he couldn't believe it.

"Yeah so?" Dale asked as Blaze turned to laugh.

" _Oh my god! The White fang is a furry group! Oh man, if Jeremiah could be here, he would be laughing his ass off, oh man, I hope he makes a fanfic in the RWBYverse where the white fang meets furries! It would be hilarious!"_ He thought to himself as he was laughing.

"Anyways, do you have his stalkers name?" Detective said as they nodded.

"She had her name Legally changed to Tigerstripe Fangbite, she also thinks she's a tiger." Momma said as Cristofer looked confused.

"Why the hell would someone who is a tiger furry want to have a wolf as her pet?" He asked as he couldn't understand that.

"Heeellllo, we already said she was crazy!" Dale said as he had the bear fur.

"Hey honey, I got to take this to his cabin to dry out, why don't we go and stay there while the detective tries to find out son?" He asked as Momma nodded.

"Please find our son for us." She asked as he nodded.

"Don't worry…he's in good hands…" He said as the two parents left.

"Okay, I need a partner for this, you wanna come along?" He asked as Blaze nodded.

"Sure but I don't, HOLY SHIT!" Blaze said as the detective undid his coat.

Only for him to give Blaze a Sig Sauer 1911.

"How many guns do you have in there?" Blaze asked as the detective pulled out his favorite gun.

A Mauser c96 handgun. And strapped to his vest were a bunch of knives…something told Blaze that this detective may have been a bit of a psycho.

"Enough." He said as they walked their way to a car.

It was a lowrider Chevy Caprice, The detective opened the trunk in order to do inventory of his supplies.

"Holy…shit…" Blaze said as he was looking at an armory.

He saw Riot Shotguns, pistols, rifles, knives, a tomahawk for some reason, a machete, he was starting to get worried that this guy may be a criminal instead of a detective.

"What? Just because I'm from California doesn't' mean I don't like weapons, don't stereotype…" Cristofer said as he closed the trunk.

"But why do you keep that in your trunk?" Blaze asked as he was a little worried about going with this guy.

"Simple, to the victor goes the spoils, these are all from previous jobs." He said as he patted his Mauser.

He got that from a very pissed off German guy who had kidnapped young men to work on his farm…yeah no other reason, really he just made them work, apparently hiring farm hands was too expensive.

"So where are we going?" Blaze asked as he reluctantly got in the car.

"Simple, to Illinois, I need to have a word with these furry groups." He said as he got a knife out.

"Uh….looks more like you're going to interrogate them.." Blaze should REALLY get out of the car.

But it was too late, they were already speeding off.

So Blaze went from having a nice night at a strip club, nearly going home with a beautiful woman who said she had a surprise for him, but now here he was driving with some crazy guy in a car full of weapons in a car that looked like it was stolen from the Mexican drug cartel. And to make matters worse, he seemed like he was going to torture furries.

What the hell had he gotten himself into?

 **BACK IN REMNANT**

"Winter!" Weiss was seeing her sister again.

In all reality, she knew that her sister was coming. But it was still nice to see her. Especially since her engagements with Beacon, and her Sisters with Atlas seemed to keep them apart lately. She ran up and gave her sister a hug.

"Oof, might want to be careful Weiss." Winter suddenly knew how people who got hugged by Nora felt like.

"Sorry! It's just so good to see you!" She said as she was excited.

"You know, in the dvd our reunion was completely different." Winter said as both Ruby and Weiss chuckled.

"Well, lets hope I don't get a bump on my head this time." She said as Winter nodded.

Winter really was happy to see Weiss again, It had been a few months, and frankly she had been trying to keep busy. Ever since they got back, she had to adjust back to her life, imagine her surprise when she came back and she actually had to learn how to be strict again. After all, it was a long vacation, and she was exposed to something she never thought she would be exposed to.

A gun toting drunk redneck who showed her a whole new world.

So yeah, it was hard to go back to her normal life after witnessing that. Especially after seeing a crazy furry stalker, saving him from commandeering a shirt while dressed as a pirate, and don't even get her started on the time he bought a stripper pole and got drunk and started using it…

Okay, in reality that wasn't so bad, but she still stopped him. Mostly because he was way too drunk, and they had just started dating at that time. The saddest part was that he knew how to twirl on that thing, what the hell did he use to do? She didn't want to know…or did she?

And there he was again, he invaded her thoughts, she knew she still…loved him. But she really needed to stop thinking about him so often.

"Anyways, why don't you show me around, hopefully we can get out of here before Ruby's Uncle shows up." Winter said as she would prefer to avoid a fight with Qrow this time.

She may tolerate his existence, but his drunken nature angered her. She may have gotten more tolerant of those who drink for OBVIOUS reasons, but something about Qrow just pissed her off. She couldn't put a finger on it, just something about him pissed her off.

What was it that made her dislike him? She would probably never know. One thing was for sure, she wanted to just make this day different.

She was going to go with Weiss and check out her dorm, spend more time with her friends, and maybe get a bite to eat afterwards. There was no way she was going to let anyone get in the way of this. It was not possible that anyone was going to-

CLUNK

"Hey….yeah…Talking to you Ice Queen…" That voice rang out as Winter sighed.

"I just had to tempt fate." She turned around to look at Qrow.

"Qrow, I really don't have time to deal with your games." She said as calmly as possible.

"Oh? Come on, not even going to give me the time of the day, geez, you think you would have learned some manners by now." He said as he was holding a broken robot.

"Do you really want to go down this road? You just destroyed a thousand lien piece of equipment." She said as she looked at the broken robots.

"Well, they weren't doing a good job." Qrow said as he took those down WAY too easily.

"Look, As I said, I don't have time for th-" She was cut off by Qrow.

"Oh, excuse me, poor lowly little Qrow talking to Her holiness, didn't realize I was talking to the Queen of Atlas." He said as he was slightly drunk…or maybe full blown hammered.

Winter felt a vein growing on her head.

"I never said that, what I implied was-" Once again, Qrow but in.

"Oh implied? Oh, excuse me, I didn't realize that I couldn't understand your fancy speak, doth thou know thy robots suck?" He said as Weiss and Ruby saw Winter starting to grip her sword.

" _Uh oh…Winter's getting pissed."_ Weiss said as she took a step back.

" _Pffft, it's like he knows exactly how to push her buttons…wait a minute? Oh crap…we forgot to tell him about our journey…"_ Ruby suddenly realized.

When they got back from their trip and they were debriefed, they tried to contact Qrow to let him know everything had gone well, and they were back home, but unfortunately his scroll was in an area where he couldn't get a signal. So he had basically been given no information.

"Oh hey! I see my niece is back, hey Ruby." He said with a wave as Ruby smiled.

"Hi Uncle Qrow!" She said as Winter was trying really hard to be nice.

"Qrow…I have been really busy, and I would prefer we don't get into this." She said as she was hoping Qrow wouldn't be a smart ass.

"Get into what? I'm just saying it sucks that-" Suddenly Qrow was the one who was cut off.

"HEY YOU DANGLY DONKEY DICK! LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE!" A voice yelled out as Winter, Weiss, and Ruby froze.

"T-That voice…" Winter was trembling slightly in excitement, she knew that voice, but it couldn't be! He was in a different world!

"That can't be…" Weiss turned to look. Her eyes widening as she did.

"Wait a minute!" Ruby turned to look.

And they were greeted with a sight for sore eyes.


	56. Challenging QrowDetective Work

**So by popular demand, I finished this chapter for those of you who wanted to know what happened, I kind of rushed through this, but I hope you like it all the same.**

* * *

Winter couldn't believe it! It was Jeremiah! But…he looked different. His beard had gotten longer, and he seemed a little bulkier than the last time she saw him. Which was actually welcome, but he looked more…..wild for some reason.

"Jem?" She gave him a new nickname.

"Hey Winny." He said with a smile as she had to resist the urge to hug him.

"B-But how? I-I tried but….I couldn't get back…" How did he get here.

"Well, lets just say that Red Dawn had a slight malfunction when it came to dust, and next thing I know, I'm trying to escape from the Schnee Mansion." He said as Winter felt something click.

"Wait! You were the assassin?!" She couldn't freaking believe it.

"I wasn't an assassin! I didn't choose where I ended up!" He said as he walked over and gave her a hug.

"But I'm here now…" He said as she hugged him back.

She couldn't believe it, he was here now. But still, all of this because of a random dust bullet? What were the odds of that happening? It just seemed so unlikely, he must have been one lucky son of a bitch. And he managed to make his way here? Wait, how did h get here if he was at the Mansion..unless…SHE KNEW THAT CARDBOARD BOX WAS SUSPICIOUS!

"I missed you…" He said as she nodded into his shoulder, for once, his boots put them at equal height.

"I missed you too, the last few months have been-" Suddenly he pulled back.

"Wait, few months? It's been one year for me." He said as he looked confused.

"What? That can't be…how?" Winter didn't understand.

Did time move differently in his world than hers? That had to be it. So for three months here, it was a year over there? Something didn't make sense. She suddenly got a dark though, she did the map, for every year, he would get four years, so if it took her five years to get up, it would have been twenty for him, he would have been in his forties, and any longer and….by the time she saw him again, he may have been an old man.

Good thing he got here by himself.

"Look, what matters is I'm here now." He said as they pulled back.

"I still have to lecture you later." She said as he smiled back at her.

"Looking forward to it…but for now.." He said as he looked at Qrow.

"Who do you think you are talking to my lady like that you petulant, puss filled, piss drinking prick?!" Jeremiah said as Qrow gave a glare.

"Okay I have no idea who the hell you are, but I don't like your tone sonny boy. It's not very nice." Qrow said with a narrow glare as he tried to shoo the boy away.

"Not very nice? I'm not the one who destroyed a robot because of a hissy fit!" Winter and the others were worried.

"Uh Jem, maybe pissing him off isn't a good idea." Winter said as Jeremiah waved her an okay sign.

"I'm not finished! Okay you shit guzzling, whiskey dicked, cocksmoker, let me tell you something!" Jeremiah said as Qrow was getting more and more pissed off.

"You know, I don't like to hit civilians, but you're pissing me off!" Qrow said as he unsheathed his weapon.

"Oooohh, big man, big weapon, pointing it at little lowly me, bet that's the first time anyone can say you've pointed anything huge at them right?" He said as you could hear a pin drop.

"WHAT…DID…YOU…JUST…FUCKING….SAY?" Qrow was speaking as Winter actually gasped at what Jeremiah was implying.

"What? Come on, who needs a giant sword like that? Unless you need to compensate for your lack of a flesh sword?" Qrow at this point was boiling mad.

Weiss had covered Ruby's ears so she didn't have to hear the dick jokes.

"For the record! My weapon is big because it has different forms!" He said as he clicked a button as it started to unfold a bit.

"Oh! So it changes size too! I bet that's something you wish you could do!" Damn it, he walked right into that one.

"You're pissing me off kid!" Qrow said as Jeremiah smirked.

"Sucks being on the receiving end doesn't it?" Qrow didn't know why he was getting so mad at this kid.

"This is a real weapon." He whipped out his rifle as Qrow prepared for a fight.

"Simple! Fairly compact, and I don't have to worry about my dick size being questioned!" He said as he went through the various forms.

"Ha! You really think you can challenge me?" Qrow was wondering if this guy was a huntsman.

"To a battle of blades, No…I got a better idea…" He said as he slung the rifle back over his shoulder.

"I see that whiskey flask, and I smell the cheap stuff you put in there." Winter knew what Jeremiah was planning on doing.

"Jem! No!" She said as she knew how this was going to turn out.

"You want a real drink?" Jeremiah said as he whipped out the jug of moonshine.

"Kid, do you really think I'm going to-" Qrow didn't realize Jeremiah had been getting closer until eventually he shoved the jug into his mouth.

"TAKE IT TO THE HEAD!" Jeremiah had about five seconds before Qrow knocked him off.

"WHAT THE hell….do…you…holy shit…" Qrow was feeling a little woozy.

"Seriously? Is that all you can take?" Jeremiah pulled out two tin cups.

"JEM! Don't do it!" Winter honestly didn't think this was a good idea.

"So that's how its going to be?" Qrow put his weapon away.

"Damn right you old blubbering bastard!" Jeremiah said as they clinked the cups together.

"DRINKING CONTEST!" They said as they downed the moonshine.

"You got to be kidding me!" Winter said as she couldn't believe this was happening.

Couldn't she have a romantic type of reunion?

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"WHERE IS HE?!" Cristofer yelled as she was currently beating up a bunny furry.

"I SWEAR TO GOD I DON'T KNOW!" The bunny said as Blaze got in.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Cristo! I don't think he knows!" Blaze hated to side with furries, but this was seriously fucked up.

"You saw the pamphlet in his hands! He's with them! I'm just trying to get answers!" Cristofer said as he had the furry tied to a chair.

Blaze had learned one fact very quickly, this detective was fucking crazy! Not only did he drive like a maniac all the way here blaring loud music, but he had also snatched a furry because he saw him walking down the street with a white fang pamphlet…yes apparently they had pamphlets, it was just weird. But then he brought him back here and started to interrogate him like he was a Russian trying to find out the codes for stolen nuclear war heads.

"They just handed it to me! I swear to god! I wouldn't join those nut jobs!" The rabbit furry just wanted to yiff in peace away from the normal humans, and away from the White fang.

"Look! Come on, just let him go!" Blaze honestly didn't think he would side with a furry in his life.

"You're too soft." Cristofer said as he undid the ropes.

"Oh thank you!" The furry hopped out of the room.

"Seriously? There is no way that can be legal!" He said as he was pretty sure torture was against the law.

"Which is why I had us wear the masks!" He said as they were wearing Balaclavas.

"That guy saw your license plate!" Blaze said as Cristofer scoffed.

"Relax, I got the car from a Mexican drug dealer, there are a ton of license plates I can use to switch it out before anyone notices." He says as Blaze felt really uncomfortable.

This was a detective? Because right now, he was pretty sure he was dealing with a mafia member! Which might explain the psychotic episodes and occasionally joker like behavior.

"HUMAN SCUM! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" They heard a voice say through a megaphone.

"Oh Damn…" Blaze said as he looked out the basement window.

As it turns out, the White fang had been monitoring the Bunny furry, and when they saw him get kidnapped, they followed Cristofer and Blaze here, and were planning on apprehending them and serving them justice.

"Great going Detective! Now we're going to get killed by a bunch of furries!" He said as the detective smirked.

"Do you really think we came here alone?" He said as they suddenly heard a scuffle.

Blaze looked out the window to see that the black panther and neo nazi groups banding together wasn't just a rumor, literally, he saw a black panther holding a furry up as a neo nazi punched the bear furry in the gut…wow, there is now freaking way this was real life. This was like something out of a bad comedy movie.

"What the? How did you?" Blaze looked back at the detective.

"I found the two groups in a meeting, they were trying to track down the furry fang, they've been tailing us making sure nothing went wrong." Cristofer was one crazy son of a bitch.

"You realize you're going to get us killed right?" Blaze said as they saw a wolf furry get thrown through the basement window.

"OW!" He yelled as they looked out the window.

"Alright!" A neo nazi high fived a black panther.

"Uh dude…can I go home now?" Blaze asked as Cristofer shook his head.

"No! We still haven't found Tigerstripe!" He said as Blaze groaned.

"Well maybe if we had looked up her legal documents and found out her address, we would have found her sooner!" Blaze said as Cristofer froze.

"….Oh…." Blaze got an annoyed look on his face.

"You….You did check that first…right?" He said as a vein bulged on his head.

"Honestly, I didn't think of that..Oops." He went from being a psycho to acting embarrassed.

Good lord, this Californian Detective was going to get him killed!

"Wait a minute, I just realized something, what was a Californian Detective doing in Alaska?" Blaze never asked.

"I don't know, woke up after one hell of a night of bar hopping." Great, that was JUST FREAKING GREAT!

 **BACK ON REMNANT**

"Sir!" A private burst into the meeting between Ironwood, Glynda , and Ozpin.

"What is it?" Ironwood asked as his private seemed worried.

"There's a disturbance down in the courtyard!" He said as Ozpin sighed.

It would appear that Qrow and Winter fighting was inevitable.

"I'll go down and get Miss Schnee to-" Ironwood was cut off by the private.

"Sir! It's not Miss Schnee who is making a ruckus! It's some other guy!" Okay, that threw them for a loop.

"Then who is it?" Ironwood didn't know what to think.

"Look!" The private started projecting a hologram.

" _You are one crazy son of a bitch! You're not so bad!"_ Qrow was laughing drunkenly as they saw a bald headed man with a beard.

"WHAT?!" Glynda couldn't believe it.

"How did he get here?" Ozpin wasn't sure how THAT man managed to find his way here.

" _You mean to tell me you have never played Russian Roulette? Come on! Don't be a pussy!"_ Jeremiah said as he put the gun to his head as Winter was trying to talk him out of it.

"We go to go!" Ozpin said as they needed to go before someone got killed.

"Who is that?" Ironwood asked as they were running down to the courtyard.

"Winter's boyfriend." Glynda stated as simply as she could.

"WAIT! THAT GUY?!" What the hell did Winter see in him?

Seriously? She disliked Qrow for drinking too much, but that guy seemed to be drinking just as much as Qrow, what could have made Winter LIKE that guy?!

Meanwhile back in the courtyard, Winter couldn't believe that Jeremiah could actually match Qrow in a drinking game! It was almost unheard of! Even though she didn't care for Qrow, his tolerance for alcohol was the stuff of legend! How could a regular human from Earth hope to stand a chance against an alcoholic huntsman?

"You idiot! You forgot to put bullets in the gun!" Qrow said as there was no point in playing Russian Roulette now.

"Oopsie…I made a boo boo." Jeremiah chuckled as Winter was just putting her face into her hand in embarrassment.

"I bet I can kick your ass at five finger filet!" Jeremiah said as he shifted his rifle into its tomahawk and bowie knife form.

"That's a terrible idea!" Winter yelled out as Qrow smiled.

"That's a great idea!" He said as he put Lien on the table.

"A hundred Lien says you hit yourself at least once!" Qrow said as Jeremiah smirked.

"I'll take that bet you old drunk!" He said as Qrow got mad.

"You're drunk too you little prick!" He pointed out.

Well…Winter was honest, while she was glad that Jeremiah and Qrow were not fighting, she wasn't sure if this was much better. The sad part was that the moonshine Jeremiah had barely been touched, that was how powerful that stuff was!

But what really worried Winter was that she knew what Qrow's semblance was, which must have been why he preferred to work alone. And it was a miracle that his semblance hadn't caused Jeremiah to die by now, seriously, they had played Russian Roulette with no bullets, even though they didn't know that, Jeremiah had bet Qrow that he could juggle his tomahawk and knife, and now he was about to play five finger filet.

Either Jeremiah was very lucky or Qrow had found a way to turn off his semblance. Either one was a bad option.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" General Ironwood said as he the knife came down.

"HA! MISSED!" Jeremiah said as he held out his hand.

"What? You didn't go all the way!" Qrow wasn't being cheated out of his money.

"Hey! You said 'I bet you hit yourself at least once!' Well I didn't! So pay up!" He said as Qrow grumbled.

"Freaking kids, and their freaking wallets, and their freaking moonshine." He said as he paid up.

"Schnee…bring these two to the tower." Ironwood said as she nodded.

"Come on Jem." She said as she carried Jeremiah over her shoulder.

"WOAH HO HO! Getting a little frisky there Madame Schnee!" Jeremiah said in a drunk tone of voice.

"You're an idiot." She shook her head as she got a quick squeeze of his thigh in.

Not bad…he must have been working out.

"I'll come too!" Qrow said as he stood up to follow.

Only to face plant right into the ground.

"HA! I WIN ASSHOLE!" Jeremiah said as he soon passed out afterwards.

Winter sighed, she was happy he was here. But he was SO going to get a lecture.

Right after she kissed the life out of him for making it here in the first place….

And after she slapped him for giving Whitley a wedgie….

Okay, maybe she wouldn't, maybe she would. She didn't know! Either way, he was in trouble.

"Uh Winter, what just happened?" Weiss asked.

"Ruby's Uncle just stole my boyfriend…" She said as she knew there was a reason she didn't like Qrow.


	57. Sobering Up

**So this chapter is short compared to the others, mostly because well, I wasn't in the mood for writing this when I wrote it.**

 **I got some really bad news, and it really got to me. I mean, its nothing regarding my health if thats what you mean. But I realized I really do need to make some changes in my life. For those of you who want to know, lets just say its a matter with my brother's ex fiancee and leave it at that. The point is, what happened pissed me off to no end, and it gave me a wake up call. Especially when I got down to it and realized that I haven't been living up to my fullest potential.**

 **So starting tomorrow when I go back to school, its time to make this semester as best as I can, and hopefully get sent off to the army after I graduate.**

 **As of now I have dumped every single bottle of liqueur and beer down the drain, I have thrown out my cigars and my tobacco pipe, and have recently gotten back to the gym.**

 **I'll still be writing, but it may happen less frequently, mostly because I have to focus on school and trying to better myself as a person.**

 **Another thing happened,**

* * *

"What the hell happened out there?!" Ironwood could not believe how stupid Qrow was.

"Easy Jimmy, wait until the three of you become one, and I'll start talking." Qrow had never had alcohol THAT strong before.

"And Ms. Schnee, why don't you explain why a HUMAN from Planet EARTH is doing on Remnant?" Ironwood wanted to know the story behind this.

"Oh boy! Let me tell the story!" Jeremiah said as he was drunk.

"Okay, that's it." Ironwood couldn't stand the two drunks in the room.

"Oh! Hey buddy! I'm spoken for!" Jeremiah said as Ironwood grabbed both Qrow and Jeremiah by the neck.

"Ozpin, do you have a sink and an ice machine?" He asked as Ozpin pointed to the side.

"Okay you two." Ironwood said as he started dragging the two.

Winter just stood there, she had never seen General Ironwood this mad before, granted Qrow usually did push his buttons, but now it was even worse, now there were two of the drunks in this world, and that made him mad. So she just decided to get out of the way as he took her boyfriend and her sort of friend sort of enemy away.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" She heard two yells as Ironwood came back in.

He was rolling his sleeves back down as he was wiping his hands with a drying cloth.

"That should do it." He said as Jeremiah came back his head and beard soaking wet.

Winter blushed as she noticed that the shirt he was wearing was pure white, and when you get a white shirt wet, naturally you can see through it. There she could see the result of Jeremiah's evolution, obviously he was doing something right if he had a body like that. What had he been doing since she had been gone? Maybe the Army did that?

Qrow came in, but his shirt wasn't see through, which Winter was thankful for.

"Well, good thing there's a water fountain in here." Jeremiah said as he needed to drink something to wet his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" Ironwood asked as Jeremiah looked at Winter.

"Well, I came here to see Winter, it's been a year since I saw her, so I came to beacon looking for-" He was cut off by Ironwood.

"I MEAN what are you doing on Remnant? The portal was closed, how did you get through?" He said with a strict voice.

"A freak accident, I was fighting a bear and-" Suddenly Winter cut him off.

"YOU WERE WHAT?!" She said in a angry/worried tone.

"Uh yeah, about that, well, I was checking my snare traps, and to make a long story short, I fought a bear and when I went to shoot it, one of my dust bullets apparently acted like a tiny explosion which created a reaction which sent me into this world, and unforturnately right into Jacques Schnee's shower…" He said as he suddenly gagged.

"That is…wait….can you repeat that?" Winter wasn't sure if she heard him right.

"Yeah, I landed in your dad's shower, Kind of felt bad for that guy, it's no wonder he's so pissed off a-" Winter cut him off right then and there.

"I don't want to know!" She really didn't need to know details about her dad's dick.

"You mean to tell me you're here because of an accident?" Ironwood couldn't believe it.

"Pretty much! Yeah!" He said as Ironwood rubbed his face with his gloved hand.

"Look, I already know everything that is going on in this world and what you were about to talk about in this room, so can I go?" He asked as Qrow looked confused.

"What the hell are you talking about kid?" He asked as Ozpin spoke up.

"Qrow, we need to fill you in on some details, Miss Schnee, if you could please show Mr. Cotton out." Ozpin said as Winter nodded.

"Of course." She said as she grabbed Jeremiah's arm and walked out.

"Okay, I know what you're going to-" As soon as they were out of the room, Winter pushed him up against the wall and kissed him.

"That's for finding your way here." She said with a smile as Jeremiah smiled right back at her.

"Well that was ni-" And then she slapped him.

"BUT THAT was for drinking with Qrow." She said as he rubbed his face.

"Ow, well definitely not the worst thing I have ever been slapped for." He thought back as he remembered a time when he turned 21.

" _Hey girl! There's a party in my pants and you're invited!"_ That earned him quite a few slaps that night.

"Soooo, here I am." He said as she looked at his arm and side through the shirt.

"I'm guessing that's from the bear?" She asked as she saw the bandages on his shoulder and his ribs.

"Yep, he left me a few presents though." He said as he pulled out the teeth as a souvenir.

"Well…that's impressive." She said as she looked at those.

"Aren't you just a BIG STRONG man?" She teased as she laid her head on his shoulder in a mock 'swooning' motion.

"Oh ha ha, hey I thought it was pretty bad ass, didn't do me any good when I was covered in its blood and I ended up in your dad's shower, apparently being covered in blood makes you look like a barbarian." He said as she looked at him.

"Well, the beard and shaved head does make you look a bit like a Viking, even if your weapons don't fit." She said as she stroked his beard.

"You've grown it out since the last time I saw you." She said as before it was rather short.

"Well, when you left, I grew it out, and I liked it." He said as she suddenly realized something.

"But…don't you have to shave in the army?" She asked as Jeremiah leaned back against the wall.

"I…I was disqualified from serving Winter…" He said with a depressed tone.

"What?" She asked as she couldn't believe it.

"Yeah…I did manage to get a waiver for you know what, but when I went to go to another medical exam, they found my head injury from a year ago, back when Nora hit me with a hammer because of my drunken attack, and that was a no go as they weren't sure what damage could be done to me, I tried every single recruiter for every branch I could find, but I was turned down each time…" He said as she actually saw something she didn't see before.

He looked genuinely depressed, sure he had looked sad before when he mentioned the ex who broke his heart, but this was a new type of sadness.

"It's just…that was what I wanted to do for a long time, and it was all just ripped away from me at the last second, all for something out of my control, and it sucks." That was what he wanted to do for a long time.

While he didn't plan on making the military a full time career, when he heard he couldn't serve, it felt a personal badge of shame for him. His family had served in the military for the United States for as long as he could remember, and he was the only one who couldn't. It was a heavy weight to bear.

"I'm sorry…" She said as she couldn't imagine what it would have been like if she hadn't been able to join the military.

"Well, after that, I finished school, and, well I won the lottery, ending up building a nice cabin in Alaska, at least one dream came true." He said with a slight smile.

"Couldn't your aura just heal it?" She asked as she went to touch his head.

"Winter I don't have-" He was cut off by her reciting the oath.

" _For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee." Winter said as she completed the oath._

Jeremiah felt a rush go through his body as he realized something had changed. His eyes widened as he felt like he had a moment of clarity. Did…Did he have Aura? No that can't be! When he first met RWBY and JNPR they said he didn't have a single drop!

"What the heck just happened?" He said as he stood back.

"I unlocked your Aura, its not much, but its enough." She said with a smile.

"But…That makes no sense! They tried to unlock it back when I first met you guys, but they couldn't do it, this doesn't make any sense!" Why would he suddenly have Aura now?

"Are you…mad?" She didn't quite understand.

"No…but…confused…." He said as he couldn't figure it out.

"Maybe being on Remnant has influenced you?" She suggested as he scratched his head.

"Possibly, but…you know what, let's just go with that." He said as he didn't want to think too much about it.

"So what now?" He asked as Winter looked down the hall.

"Well, I'm sure the others would like to see you." She said as he gave her a smile.

"Well, let's go see them then." He said as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"HEY! What are you doing?!" She said with a laugh.

"We're going to go see them." He said as he started to walk down the hallway with her.

"This is ridiculous!" She said as he just grinned.

"Hey you carried me here!" He said as she just groaned.

"Because you were drunk!" She tried to defend herself.

"Not Drunk enough to not walk." He said as the wheels in her head started to turn.

"You just wanted to be carried?!" She couldn't believe how lazy he could be at times.

"Yep! Hey, I didn't see you complaining when you were feeling my leg muscles." He replied as she just blushed.

 **TIME BETWEEN MATCHES  
**

"GUYS! GUYS!" Ruby and Weiss came yelling back.

"Woah! Easy little Sis! Weiss? What has gotten into you two?" Teams RWBY and JNPR were all together now.

"Jeremiah! He's here! He's here right now!" Ruby said as the group looked shocked.

"What? Now? How?" Blake was confused, how did he get here?

"Oh it was funny! He challenged Uncle Qrow to a drinking contest!" Ruby said as the group rolled their eyes.

"Somehow that isn't a surprise." Jaune said as they knew how Jeremiah was.

"And he won! He beat my Uncle in a drinking game!" Ruby said as Yang was impressed.

"So where is he now?" Yang asked as Nora was jumping up and down.

"So this thing worked!" She said as she was looking at the Nordic rune Jeremiah had gotten her the last time he saw them.

"HERE I AM!" Jeremiah said as he came running into the clearing, with Winter still over his shoulder.

"JERRY!" Nora proceeded to tackle him to the ground in a hug.

"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" She said as Jeremiah could feel his spine cracking.

"OH! I missed you too Nora! But, SPINE!" He said as Nora let go of him.

"Sorry! But when did you arrive?" She asked as she couldn't believe he was here.

"Eh, I don't know, but let me just say." He said as he held Winter by the waist.

"It is going to be….ONE HELL OF A STORY." He said as he walked over to a table to discuss it with them.

They were going to love this.


	58. Explanation and a Watchful Eye

**So here we go again, for those of you who already know, Recently I became an Uncle, and I am going to go see my Nephew today. So I've been busy and excited. Also heres the big surprise. I have also cut out drinking and smoking. So I am writing these chapters COMPLETELY SOBER. Before I would at least have a Rum and Coke, but nope, I'm going on a clean binge, so not Alcohol, No Tobacco, No caffeine, although to be honest, I don't consume a lot of caffeine in the first place anyways.**

 **Anyways, so the chapters will be coming out a lot less frequently because I'm busy with school, but know that I am putting effort into these chapters when I can.**

* * *

"Wow! So you fought a bear?" Yang asked as Jeremiah was getting through his story.

"And because of one of my dust bullets, you ended up here?" Ruby said as she thought she was awesome.

"And you saw Weiss's dad naked?" Blake actually felt a little sorry for that.

"And you gave my brother a wedgie?" Weiss shouldn't laugh, but that was kind of funny.

Jeremiah was grinning as he told them the story. While they were surprised that time passed differently in his world, they couldn't believe that he had been attacked by a bear while checking traps. And if that wasn't absurd enough, ending up in the Schnee Mansion and having to punch Jacques Schnee himself in the dick.

That part actually made Blake laugh. Maybe Karma was a real thing. Either way, seems like Jeremiah had done more to piss off and humiliate the Schnee in a day than the white fang had done in a decade. Which was odd because he was dating a Schnee….weird how things turn out?

"Yeah, and don't even get me started on Whitley's hidden porn stash." He said as both Winter and Weiss turned a head at that.

"Porn stash?" They always thought Whitley was too 'prim and proper' to look at porn.

"Yeah, I actually felt bad for him, but at the same time, not cool Bro….that was some weird shit I saw." He said as he thought back to what he saw.

Honestly, he remembered making a joke one time when he was writing about the Schnee having a Faunus fetish, or was it Cardin having a Faunus fetish? He couldn't remember, either way the joke wasn't a joke anymore. So it made him wonder what else was changing.

"So you're not drinking as much right now." Ren said as Winter spoke up.

"Because he got drunk and started to challenge Qrow, and General Ironwood did not take well to having TWO drunks on the scene." Winter said as General Ironwood had confiscated Jerry's moonshine.

After he had taken a sample of it of course, apparently it was some powerful stuff if the General felt a need to confiscate it and hide it from both Qrow and Jeremiah.

His exact words were.

" _We already have a problem with one, we don't need another one."_ Was what he said when referring to the two.

"Eh it's okay, I needed to cut down on my drinking anyways." Suddenly Nora was staring at him.

"WHO ARE YOU?! And what have you done with Jer Jer!" She said as he rolled his eyes.

"First off, you know I don't like that nickname because it sounds like 'Jar Jar'." He narrowed his eyes, freaking Jar Jar Banks.

"Oh, never mind, I guess it is you." She said as only the real Jerry would call her out on that.

"I guess it's just surprising, why suddenly decide to cut down on drinking?" Ren asked as that seemed sudden.

"I don't know…..odd…" He said as he wasn't going to quit drinking completely, but something was entering his thoughts.

Eh, it was probably nothing.

"So how is Grandmama?" Nora asked as she was wondering how the old woman was doing.

"Still alive, and still kicking ass, I think right now she's on a mission trip or something." He said as his Grandmother had gotten heavily involved in the church in recent years.

She ended up making a lot of those trips to feed the hungry, and boy did she do that. Those kids went from having trouble finding food to being mean lean eating machines. Another reason his Grandmother was awesome, the only problem was that her friends were getting pissed off that she could still be out there acting like she was forty at her age. Jeremiah swore, his grandmother would probably go to her grave fighting the Grim Reaper.

"Does she ever talk about us?" Ren asked as he was honestly curious.

"Well…." Jeremiah really didn't want to talk to them about this.

"They have all been wondering where you all went, one day you all just left..and you never came back, Grandmama was worried about you." He said as they all felt bad at that.

"Didn't you tell them?" Yang asked as he shook his head.

"Remember? I couldn't. If I was to say that someone from one of my favorite shows suddenly showed up in our reality, I would have been put in the looney bin." He said as they all nodded, but it was still sad that his family was worried about them.

"But, she did say if I ever saw you again, that you were always welcome at her home." He said as that helped lighten the mood a bit.

"So…." It was a little awkward getting back into the conversation.

Honestly, they were still having trouble believing he was here. Honestly it all seemed like a bunch of dumb luck, how was it that he could have a spring of good luck, but at the same time also a spring of bad luck? For example, he came to Remnant due to a lucky accident, but it was unlucky that he ended up in Jacques Schnee's shower.

Weiss and Winter still felt a little disgusted at that. The last picture they wanted in their minds was a picture of their dad's dick.

And based on Jeremiah's description of it…well, they know saw why he overcompensated with the mansion.

"So anything different about the matches?" He asked as Yang looked up.

"The singles fight starts soon." She said as Jeremiah narrowed his eyes.

"How are you going to prepare?" He asked as she looked down.

"Let's just say I'm not falling for the same trick twice." She said as she was guaranteed not to fall for that again.

"Wait!" Ruby suddenly realized something.

"About..the whole adoption thing….did you…ever find your biological parents?" She asked as the group turned to look at her.

"I'm curious." She said as Jeremiah sighed.

"I…did find the woman who gave birth to me…" He said as that was not a pleasant memory.

 _FLASHBACK_

" _I wonder what she's like?" Jeremiah honestly didn't know if he really wanted to do this, but he needed to know._

 _He was in front of an old run down home as he knocked on the door._

 _KOFF KOFF KOFF_

 _He heard the sound of what appeared to be someone hacking up a lung._

" _What do ya want?!" A midget yelled in a crackly voice as her voice was ruined from all the cigarettes._

" _Uh…I'm looking for Davina Dangerous?" He asked as he referred to her by her stripper name as that was what the birth certificate had._

" _It's Davina Dangerous the Dwarf! You fucking young people, what do ya want, a cheap lap dance?" She said in an angry tone as Jeremiah did not feel comfortable._

" _Actually Miss, well, the thing is that, you may not remember me, but…" He was cut off as she held up a hand._

" _Oh please! Let me guess, you're one of those bastard children I gave birth to?" She asked as Jeremiah's blood ran cold._

" _News flash kid! You're not the first bastard I squeezed out, so get the hell out of here, I got work to do!" She yelled as she went to slam the door in his face._

" _W-WAIT! Can you at least tell me who my father might be?" That was what he came here for._

 _His father's name wasn't on the birth certificate. So he was hoping she would know. But he wasn't expecting her to be…this bad._

" _How the hell should I know? You might as well go ask the attendees of that strip club I used to work at! Hundreds came through there!" She slammed the door in his face._

 _Jeremiah turned around and walked away. But not before he threw up in the bushes. In all honesty, if this had been anyone else, he might have laughed at the fact that the woman who gave birth to them was a midget stripper, but now…knowing the truth, and knowing that he was possibly one of many bastard children. It made him feel really…really shitty._

" _I shouldn't have come here."_

 _FLASHBACK END_

Winter was hugging Jeremiah as he finished the story. Well, both her and Nora, Winter went for a more comforting hug, while Nora went for an all encompassing hug with struggles and tears as she listened to the story.

"I'll break her legs!" Nora suggested as she couldn't believe any woman would say that.

"Guys, I really appreciate it, but really its fine." He said as he was over it.

He still didn't know what to think about his mother being a midget stripper, in all honesty it didn't make her feel good.

"So what about the search for your father?" Yang felt like she could connect to him on this, after all, for years she had wanted to find her mother, and now here Jeremiah was having trouble finding his father.

"Honestly, I don't know. While I want to know who he is, I can't help but think he may be some crazy guy or an asshole, maybe I'm better off not knowing." He said as he sighed.

"Or maybe he's actually a really nice guy?" Winter wanted to offer him some hope.

"Nah, I don't need to know, besides, I got my parents, Grandmama, and I have all of you guys." He said as he smiled at them all.

"Aww, how touching." Emerald said as she walked out.

"Oh! Hey Emerald!" Ruby said trying to be friendly despite knowing who she was.

Jeremiah turned around, he honestly really didn't want to see this girl, for one reason and one reason only, SHE KILLED PENNY…wait a minute? He just realized he hadn't met Penny yet.

"Salutations!" He heard another voice as he turned around to see the robot girl.

He got a huge grin on his face as he saw that Penny was here as well, of course she was wearing a hat to hide the fact she had a magnet stuck to her head. And as a bonus, he didn't have to look at Emerald's face.

"Uh, do you want me to introduce you?" Ruby said as he nodded vigorously.

"Hey Penny!" Ruby waved as Penny walked over.

"Hello Ruby…who is this?" Penny asked looking at the smiling bearded man.

"He's a new friend!" Ruby said as Penny also smiled.

"Really? Can I be your friend too?" She asked as Jeremiah's heart just melted.

Even now Penny was adorable as hell.

"YES!" He said as he picked her up an hugged her.

IT WAS SO ADORABLE! Now all he needed to do was hear her say 'I'm combat ready.' And his life would be complete! He had almost forgotten that he was feeling mopey and a bit pissed off a second ago.

"Ruby, he is hugging me!" Penny said as she had never met a human this affectionate.

"He does that a lot." Ruby honestly wasn't expecting this.

"He smells like your Uncle though." Penny pointed out as she picked up a familiar scent of booze.

"Dang, reminds me I need to cut down on drinking." He then reached into his satchel and gave the jug of moonshine to Winter.

"Here Winny, why don't you keep this away from me." Everyone was a little shocked that he was trusting someone with his Moonshine jug.

"Are you sure? I can't exactly carry this-" Suddenly it was snatched out of her hands by Ironwood who was walking by.

"I will take care of this." He narrowed his eyes slightly at Jeremiah as he was going to make sure that neither Jeremiah nor Qrow got a hold of this drink ever again.

"Hello General Ironwood!" Penny spoke in a chipper tone as Ironwood rubbed his eyes.

"I see you made a new friend Penny." He honestly couldn't believe his life was being filled with drunks, and now they were messing with his friends and his soldiers.

"Yes Sir!" She was just so chipper, it made Jeremiah feel like nothing could go wrong.

"Well, you have a match coming up soon, don't want to miss it." Ironwood stated as he took the jug of moonshine as Penny nodded.

"Don't worry Sir…" She opened her mouth to say it as Jeremiah was hoping SHE WOULD SAY IT!

"I'm Combat Ready!" Suddenly all was right in the world.

" _YES! OH YES! Oh my life is complete! Everything is right! Oh man, that was so adorable!"_ He may have been a MANLY MAN, but it was like trying to look at a puppy and not marvel at how cute it was.

Penny was like a puppy, a robotic orange puppy, but a puppy never the less.

Meanwhile Emerald was walking away after having a conversation with the group, only to see that Mercury was walking by.

"That the guy we were warned about?" He asked as Emerald nodded.

"He doesn't look too threatening, why were we told to keep an eye on him?" Emerald asked as Cinder wasn't making sense.

"Whatever it was, it was enough that Cinder asked us to make sure he didn't try anything." Mercury was still confused over the whole ideal.

How did Cinder find out about this guy? They even hacked into multiple records archives, but there wasn't a trace of evidence on this guy. Come to think of it, it was like he didn't even exist until today when Mercury saw him and Qrow having that drinking contest.

Why was Cinder so interested in him?


	59. Clothes and an Enemy revealed

**Okay everyone, here we go again, anyways, I got back from visiting my nephew, he is absolutely cute, and we all had a good time holding him. I also got to watch my brother change a diaper, and his son almost puked on him. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time.**

 **I don't know how often I'll get to see him, but I hope I see more of him in the future.**

 **Anyways, here is the next chapter.**

* * *

"Is it just me, or does that Shopowner guy own everything here?" Jeremiah asked as he swore to god he saw the same Shopowner in every booth.

"You're imagining things." Winter said as they were walking through some of the festival tents.

"Oh hey, that guy is selling Cotton Candy!" Jeremiah said as Winter raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have to stop for sweets every time you see a stand?" She couldn't believe that he was actually that hungry.

"Hey, I'm trying to cut down on drinking, and to top it all off, Ironwood took my moonshine, so I need to find a replacement." He said as this was the best thing he could think of so far.

So far he had eaten a few Ice Cream cones, some kind of corn dog thingy, some ramen, and now here he was with the cotton candy. Most would assume that would be enough food to feed a group, but what they didn't realize is Jeremiah's stomach had grown accustomed to large meals after living with Grandmama for so long. So while the food was filling, it didn't always last long.

"So instead of being drunk, you'll get fat?" She teased as he put a hand over his chest mockingly.

"My Dear sweet Winter! It is impolite to point out others weight! Besides, did you not see the good my Grandmother cooks up? I swear to god, it's a miracle I'm not as fat as those people on 'My 500 lb' life." He said as Italian food was not only really good and really filling, but also very fattening if you ate too much.

"Either way, is filling yourself up with sugary treats really the best substitute?" She asked as he nodded vigorously.

"Would you rather have me on a sugar high, or have to chase me down again when I drink too much Rum?" He asked as she remembered that event.

"You know, on second thought, go ahead and eat that." She really didn't want to relive that experience again.

"Knew you would see it my way." He said as he bumped into someone.

"Hey watch where you're…Oh you got to be kidding me." Jeremiah couldn't believe they were running into Qrow again so soon.

"You got me in big trouble kid." Qrow said with crossed arms.

"Sorry to tell you old bird, but you would have gotten in trouble anyways, and as I recall, YOU didn't object to the drinking contest." Jem said as Qrow rolled his eyes.

"Thanks to you, Ozpin took away my flask like I was some kid who was losing a toy for misbehaving." He grumbled as Winter chuckled at that.

"Oh you think that's funny Ice Queen?" Qrow glared as Winter nodded.

"Actually yes, that is hilarious." She said as she could imagine Ozpin and Glynda acting like Strict parents.

" _No alcohol for a week young man!"_ Ozpin's voice rang in her head as she imagined how that must have gone.

In all honesty, Qrow had never been lectured like that. And of course, after he had sobered up, they had to fill him in on every single detail that had been revealed since he had been in the field. Needless to say Qrow was pissed, not just at them for not trying to find him and give this information so he wouldn't have to spend all of his time out there when he could be back here drinking. Oh, but he was angry at another person.

"You really pissed me off kid." Qrow said as Jeremiah just looked mock offended.

"Oh? What did I do?" He asked as Qrow looked around to make sure no one was looking.

"I spend days, weeks, even MONTHS out in the field, all the training I went through, to become the most lethal Huntsman possible, learning from all those survival experts, gaining experience in the art of wilderness survival, learning to build shelter from nothing but two sticks and a pile of leaves, all of this I went through to become a great spy, and now some guy shows up out of nowhere points runs his mouth and says 'These are the bad guys and this is what we need to do.'! ITS INFURIATING!" Qrow honestly felt like he had been told his whole life was pointless.

"Woah…kind of went Jack Slater on me there." Jem said to himself as he was certain this was a scene out of 'Last Action Hero'.

Meanwhile, I'm sighing because I know that there are going to be a ton of readers who have no idea what I am talking about.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but you made my job obsolete." Qrow said as he felt cheated out of a few months of life.

"No I didn't. I only knew about the plan up until Volume 3 and bits of Volume 4, so I guess you're still useful." He tried to defend himself.

"Ooooh, so I'm only useful because the 'All knowing' profit of our time didn't watch enough TV." Qrow honestly couldn't believe THAT little detail.

An alternate reality where their lives were part of a tv show? It was absolutely ridiculous.

"First off, it's an animated web series, and hey, look on the bright side, we have a chance to save lives, shouldn't we be celebrating that?" He asked as he was trying to get Qrow to calm down.

"I suppose so…" Although Qrow was still mad that his job was done for him.

"Look, I have a feeling we got off on the wrong foot, granted, we were both slightly drunk..." Jeremiah was going to end it there but Winter spoke up.

"And stupid, asinine, and completely ridiculous." Winter added on as both Qrow and Jeremiah gave her the same look.

"Hey!" They said at the exact same time.

"Woah…In stereo." She said as that was almost perfect.

"Look, why don't we just try to get along, lets start with Introductions…" Jeremiah said as he held out his hand to shake Qrows.

"My given name is Jeremiah Richard Cotton, people call me Jem, Jimmy, Jerald, Jerk, and who knows how many other names." He said as Qrow just decided to go along with it.

"Qrow Branwen, people call me Qrow." He said as Winter spoke up.

"And a pain in the ass." She said as Qrow looked surprised.

"Woah, Ice Queen has some spunk after all. I guess meeting this guy here was good for you." They both gave him a look at that.

"Wait, you know about that?" Jeremiah didn't recall telling anyone that.

"Are you kidding me? Goodwitch made sure I got the full report, she thought it was 'So sweet.' How you two met." Qrow rolled his eyes as he remembered that.

"Bullshit, GOODWITCH? Are you sure?" Jeremiah didn't believe it.

"Did you think I was joking? She may be a strict teacher, but she still has a soft side." Although even Qrow found that hard to believe.

"Huh, you learn something new each day." He said to Winter suddenly noticed something.

"Don't you think you should change clothes?" She asked as he was still wearing the bad jeans and Whitley's shirt.

"Huh? Oh yeah, forgot about that." He said as he noticed that his clothes were in bad condition.

"Come on, there's a local store close to here, we should be able to find something appropriate." Winter said as he was starting to smell.

"Can I come with? I'm bored and I got nothing better to do." Qrow suddenly felt like a third wheel.

Winter just waved him off. She still was not the biggest fan of Qrow, not just because of their interaction in the show before they changed their own timeline, but there was something else about him that brought her piss to a boil. She would eventually find out what that was. But probably not today.

But Qrow was still coming along for one reason.

He wanted to know where Jeremiah was keeping the moonshine, that stuff was FAN FUCKING TASTIC!

 **LATER**

"I am not wearing that." Jeremiah said as Winter was trying to find him something decent.

"What you would look nice?" She said trying to dress him up a little bit.

"I would look like one of those hoity toity types, I need something more practical and tough." He said as he was currently wearing an undershirt and black jeans with a pair of black combat boots.

"Yes, but what if we go to some formal event?" She asked as Qrow was just chuckling at the interaction.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want you to look too casual now would we?" Qrow was trying not to laugh at Winter acting a bit like a mother hen.

"Uggghh, you sound like my Dad." Jem thought back to the times his dad took him to an event that required he wear a suit and tie.

While he did clean up nicely, he never felt comfortable in suits. Seriously, how did James Bond move so swiftly and fluidly in those things? He always felt like he was limited, after all, who knows what would happen if you tried a high kick in pants that were not meant to be used in a fight.

"You been working out?" Winter asked as she noticed he really did look good in that undershirt.

"Kind of, been doing a lot of outdoor adventure stuff, keeps me in shape." He said as Winter was actually going over his muscles.

"Your forearms look really toned." She said as Qrow raised an eyebrow.

"Er, yeah that's from…Chopping wood….I chop a lot of wood…everyday" He said as Qrow was currently laughing into his arm because he understood that joke.

Granted, he technically was telling the truth, he did chop a lot of wood…

"Well good to see that you've been keeping in shape, how about this?" She asked as she held up a black muscle shirt.

"Yes, but Winter, how about I just dress myself?" He asked as Winter pouted.

"Fine, but I swear to god if you come back in a speedo and cufflinks, I'm breaking up with you." She knew he would pull something stupid like that.

"Damn…" That was exactly what he was planning on doing.

Not because he liked speedos, but because it would have been funny.

"Soooo, a bit young for you isn't he?" Qrow asked as he was trying not to sound awkward.

"I doubt you're the one to talk about age." She pointed to his gray hair.

"I'm not that old…" He wasn't sensitive about his age, but come on, no one liked being mistaken for being older or younger than they are.

"Besides, its only a few years apart." She said as Qrow just leaned back against a clothes rack.

"Yeah yeah, I know that whole 'Age is just a number' thing." Winter rolled her eyes at that comment.

"As Jem would say, 'And Prison is just a room.'" Now that confused Qrow.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked as Winter smiled a bit.

"Oh the first day Team RWBY and JNPR went out with him on his school grounds, a lady thought he was dating your niece." She said as Qrow whipped out his sword.

"WHICH…..ONE?" He asked in a very deadly tone, he swore to Oum if that bearded bastard had touched R-

"Relax, it was Yang, and he vehemently denied it." Winter suddenly realized telling Qrow that was not a good idea.

"Good…..Good." Ain't no way that Ruby's innocence was going to be taken away on his watch.

Especially not someone who was like him when it came to drinking. Ruby didn't need a boyfriend like that. She already had an Uncle and a friend like that, and same goes for Yang! Ruby may have been his unofficial favorite Niece, but that didn't mean he didn't love Yang all the same.

"How about this?" Jeremiah came back wearing a navy blue army jacket.

"Whats with that?" Winter didn't know why he would pick that.

"It has pockets! I like pockets!" He said as it was true.

Luckily it wasn't an official military jacket, so he wouldn't be accused of stolen valor. That was a relief, because he didn't want to accidentally insult a military member by wearing their colors without being a member of the armed forces. That wouldn't be right.

No, this was more of a vintage kind of look, and while it was based off of a military jacket, there was no rank or insignia, so he was safe.

"Looks good, anything else?" She asked as he looked around.

"Well I was going to get a Stetson, but couldn't find one." He said as she rolled her eyes.

"You're not a cowboy." She couldn't believe he would wear that kind of ridiculous hat.

"Hey! I like Stetsons!" They looked cool.

RING RING RING RING

"Sorry, that's me." Qrow said as he answered it.

"Hello?...What? Be right there!" He said as he hung up.

"Who was that?" Jeremiah asked as that sounded urgent.

"Ruby, something happened at the ring during Yang's fight." Qrow said as they stood up.

"We better go!" Jeremiah said as they ran out of the store.

"HEY! You forgot to pay!" The storeowner yelled at the fleeing trio.

Only for money to be thrown at his face.

"THANK YOU!"

 **AT THE RING**

"What happened?" It had taken the trio awhile to get here, but they saw that Yang was being restrained by soldiers while there was medical personal near by.

"Oh no…" There was no way it could have happened again? Right?

She said she wouldn't fall for that same trick again! How did this happen?

"Yang! What did you do!" Jeremiah said as they were in the tunnel and couldn't get to the ring.

"Wait…" Qrow said as he narrowed his eyes.

"Something's not right." He said as he looked at Yang.

"She doesn't look scared…" He said as Winter and Jeremiah took a closer look.

"What do you mean?" What was Qrow on about?

"She looks like she's…laughing?" Qrow could see that her face was smiling.

"Hey, look at the crowd!" Winter pointed up to the stadium chairs.

The women and some of the men were laughing, while some of them were wincing in pain. That was weird, if this was like it was in the show, then why were they laughing? What was going on?

"Wait, they're not restraining her, they're…laughing with her?" Winter could see that the soldiers weren't actually restraining Yang, in fact it looked more like they were laughing with her, what the hell was going on?

"Oooooooohhhhh." Suddenly they saw Mercury being wheeled out on a gurney.

With an ice pack right on his junk.

"…." Qrow was silent.

"…" Jeremiah was silent.

"….." Winter was trying to be silent.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" The three burst out laughing as they realized what happened.

Mercury had been punched right in the balls!

"Uncle Qrow!" Ruby said as she was currently walking down to the stadium and leaning against a wall.

"Ruby! What happened?" Qrow was trying to contain himself, but it was getting harder and harder.

"You got to see this!" Ruby said as she opened up her scroll.

They saw that it was at the end when Yang was declared the winner, okay so this is when Emerald's illusion was supposed to trap her and she was about to assault Mercury by mistake right? Apparently not.

They saw Yang waving and celebrating as she won, okay nothing unusual there. And Mercury was just standing there accepting defeat. But then Yang did something different.

She started firing random blasts in the air, as if celebrating her victory with a light show. They were acting like flares being shot out of a flare gun, all in all it looked awesome.

And that was when it happened.

Yang was so busy showing off, that she didn't realize she was about to trip over her own foot…or did she? Just as she was punching forward to let out another kinetic burst, she tripped and started to fall over. Just in time for the blast of energy to shoot out of her weapon.

And straight into Mercury's willis and doodle berrys.

"OH MY GOD!" Jem had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"So that's what she meant by she wasn't going to fall for the same trick twice." Winter smirked as Ruby looked confused.

"What do you mean?" She asked as she had gotten over her giggling fit.

"Don't you think it's odd that she 'Tripped' at the last second? Just as she was firing off a round?" Winter asked as the gears in Ruby's head was turning.

"Oh yeah!" She said as it just made it even funnier.

Things were not going as planned.

 **IN THE INFIRMARY**

"Oooooohhhhhh." Mercury had never been in this much pain in his life.

"Oh, get over it." Emerald honestly didn't know what happened.

She didn't have to fake shock and surprise when she went down to see Mercury in the arena, she was honestly shocked and surprised, Yang should have fallen for her illusion! Why didn't she? It didn't make any sense, in fact she was showboating instead of reacting to the vision of Mercury attacking her from behind!

What the hell had happened?

"It hurts…so bad…" Mercury remembered the time his legs were amputated.

He would prefer going through that again then this.

"Okay, well, unforturnately you have severe burns on your…genitals." The doctor himself felt bad.

"The good news is that nothing was permanently damaged." He said as he took his gloves off.

"The bad news is that you'll have to apply this ointment every day at noon." The doctor gave Mercury the lotion.

"Please…anything….give me painkillers…" Mercury was miserable right now.

"We'll be fine Doctor." Cinder said as she walked into the room.

"Cinder!" Emerald didn't know how she was going to explain this.

"Doctor, if we could have a private moment." Cinder said with a smile as the doctor nodded.

"Of course Maam, just remember, Ointment every day, and hopefully that won't scar over." Mercury looked panicked as he said that.

"WAIT! SCAR?!" Great, he was going to have a fucked up penis.

"Cinder! I swear to Oum! It should have worked! I don't know wh-" She was cut off by Cinder putting a hand up.

"Relax, it is no concern to me." Okay, now that got both Mercury and Emerald worried.

They had already had enough problems with Neo being captured, so they had to resort to using one of the white fang grunts as their fourth team member. That had gotten Cinder pissed as Neo was a valuable assest. And now, the part of the plan meant to make them worry had gone down the drain.

"But, this was supposed to-" Emerald was once again cut off.

"I knew this was going to happen." She said as Mercury glared.

"YOU KNEW MY DICK WAS IN DANGER?!" He didn't care how out of character he sounded, he was pissed off.

"While I will admit, I wasn't expecting that, The fact of the matter is this is just a setback. Lets just say I have made...alternative plans" She said as she turned to the shadows.

"After all, thanks to our friend here, we have all the information we need." Cinder said as she motioned for the figure to come forward.

"As long as you get me what I want….." The woman said as Cinder nodded.

"Of course, you will get your reward." Cinder knew this lady was Crazy, but she was useful.

When she showed up months ago in a explosion of flame and dust, she couldn't believe it, but one thing was for sure, she had proven her worth time and time again.

"As long as I have my little wolf, I don't care." Tigerstripe said as she came into the light.

Atop her head were a pair of surgically attached Tiger ears.

And as she smiled, you could see a pair of fangs peering back at you.


	60. Calm before the storm

**Okay so here we go, another chapter out, I got a lot of positive reception out of the last one, well, I think so, mostly people going "WHAT?! YOUR CRAZY EX?!" Which in my opinion is positive.**

 **Oh just wait! It gets better!**

* * *

 **ON EARTH**

"This is the place." Cristofer said as they arrived at the house of Tigerstripe late at night.

"How are we going to get in? I doubt she will just welcome us in." Blaze did not feel good about this.

SMASH CRACK

"Don't need to be invited in if the door is unlocked." He said as he smashed the window of the door and unlocked it.

"You know, you're going to get us arrested." Blaze did not like this guy, he wasn't right in the head.

"Relax, I'll just say I heard a noise and tried to stop a burglar." This detective was a fucking nutbag.

"Woah…" He said as he took a step back.

"What?" Blaze couldn't believe anything would freak this guy out.

"Look." He said as he flipped a switch.

And suddenly Blaze felt really uncomfortable. This was the house of Jeremiah's stalker, and holy shit was it creepy as hell. There were pictures of Jeremiah all over the walls, with little wolf ears drawn on top of his head, and hearts covering his face.

"Mary mother of god…this woman is crazy." Even Cristofer was weirded out.

"You think?!" Blaze had been telling him that since Day 1.

"Look, when you said she was a crazy stalker, I just assumed that she was just someone who needed to move on…but this…." He took down a nude photo of Jeremiah.

"This is new…look at this.." He said as he shoved the picture in Blaze's face.

"WOAH! I don't need to see his ass!" Blaze really didn't want to see that.

"Not that you idiot! Look at where it was taken from!" Blaze covered up the man ass and looked at the photo.

So there was the problem with it, this photo wasn't taken with Jeremiah's permission, that was the number one thing, but the creepy thing was that it was taken from an overhead view, almost as if... almost as if someone was peeking down from the skylight above the shower on his roof.

"She climbed on top of his roof…." Blaze knew he had a skylight above his shower.

Something about how it was nice to shower and bath in moonlight, Blaze thought it was weird, but the fact that Tigerstripe had this photo meant one thing, she had to have been making multiple trips to Alaska to take these photos.

"Correct, this woman is not only crazy, but it would appear she is a peeping tom." Cristofer said as he leaned against the desk.

CLUNK

Only for the wall to start turning.

"Oh you got to be kidding me!" Blaze couldn't believe it, she had a secret passageway?! How rich and insane was this woman?

"Woah, got to admit, I wasn't expecting this." Even the detective couldn't believe this.

"Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack…" Blaze quoted one of his favorite movies.

"This isn't a fridge…" Cristofer did not get the joke.

"Whatever, lets go." Blaze said as they started going down the secret pathway.

"You got a light?" Cristofer asked as his lighter wasn't working.

"Sure, here." He handed Cristofer a tiny maglight.

"Thanks." He said as he switched it on to help look for a light switch.

"Ah, here we go." He asked as he found a switch.

CLICK!

Both of their jaws dropped as they took a sudden step back.

"Oh…" Blaze started.

"MY GOD." Cristofer couldn't believe it.

All over the place were even more pictures of Jeremiah, but also pictures of Blaze, the women he met at the strip club, Jeremiah's parents, Grandmama, his house, truck, his bathroom visits, it was a very through stalker investigation. One thing was sure, nothing happened to Jeremiah without Tigerstripe knowing about it.

He also saw that there was a white fang symbol on the wall, with a hastag saying 'DieWhiteCisHumanScum'. Great, she was one of those fruitcakes. No wonder everyone thought she was crazy.

*Whine*

"What was that?" Blaze asked as Cristofer froze.

"I heard it too…" He said as they followed the sound.

"Oh my god..is that?" Cristofer asked as Blaze knelt down and petted the thing.

"A tiger…." He said as he was trying to comfort it.

It was a live tiger, but its ears, its ears had been surgically removed, what kind of sick person would do this?

*Whine* The tiger continued to whine as Blaze tried to stroke its fur comfortingly.

"It's alright…we're here to help…" He said as he turned to Cristofer.

"We have to help it." He said as Cristofer got on the phone.

"Local police department? My name is Detective Cristofer, I believe I may have just found evidence of poaching and animal cruelty, yes the address is 1428 Elm Street." He said as he hung up on the phone.

"As if her being a psycho wasn't enough, her address is even out of a horror movie." He said as Blaze couldn't believe anyone could do this to a tiger.

"Why would she do this?" He asked as Cristofer looked at the wall.

"Maybe that has something to do with it." He said as Blaze looked up.

Only to find a large RWBY poster with Blake Belladonna's ears standing out and proud.

"You think…she was trying to become a faunus?" He asked as Cristofer looked confused.

"Faunus?" He asked as he didn't understand the reference.

"Yeah , they're a group of people from a web series called RWBY, people born with animal traits who are treated as inferior to humans, apparently she's a fan of the show as well…" That must have been how she met Jeremiah.

After all, there were tons of online forums for fans to discuss the show with each other, it would be no shock if that was how he met Tigerstripe. But who would have guessed that the Furry was trying to become a faunus.

"EWWW!" Blaze suddenly saw a whole bunch of sex toys shaped like Animal genitals, could this place get any worse?

"Was she a medical student?" Cristofer asked as he saw all the surgical tools.

"Yeah, I think she was training to be a surgeon." Blaze couldn't stand to see the bloody instruments.

"Well, I hate to say it, but I would say that her potential is being wasted." The cuts had been clean, but no sane person would be willing to do this to an animal.

"Grrrrr…" They heard some sort of growl.

"Holy shit…" Blaze said as he saw there was a wolf chained up in the corner.

"Well…apparently she was planning on making him into her little wolf…for real." Cristofer said as he noticed the wolf still had his ears, but there were plans for him and Jeremiah in the future.

"But..if she has him, why isn't he here? Wouldn't she have brought him back by now?" Blaze asked as this wasn't making sense.

"She would…unless…" Cristofer suddenly realized something.

"Unless what?" Blaze needed to help his friend before it was too late.

"Unless he's on the run from her himself…" That could explain a lot.

She must have found him and bandaged him up, which would explain the lack of blood leaving the scene, but if she wasn't back here yet, it must mean he must have escaped and was trying to hide from her. Which would explain why no one had seen him in a while.

"We need help." Blaze said as he got out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Cristofer wasn't sure about this.

"The only three people who I know can help." He said as he held the phone up to his ear.

"Pa? Momma? Grandmama? We need help."

"Sister Fangbite? Are you here?" Suddenly Blaze hung up the phone as Cristofer got his gun out.

"We're in trouble…" He said as Blaze got out his gun.

"I really don't want to do this…" He had never been in a fight or gunfight before, he was a lover not a fighter.

"You stay here and guard your new friend…I'll be back…" Cristofer said in a monotone voice like the Terminator.

"Well that's ominous." Blaze said as he sat down and stroked the Tiger lovingly.

"Don't worry, we'll get you some help…"

 **IN REMNANT**

"So…due to…unfortunate circumstances, I'm afraid that we had to disqualify you from the tournament." Ironwood said as he couldn't believe that happened.

"It was an accident!" Yang tried to defend herself, but in all honesty she knew what she was doing.

"Yes, everyone knows that, the people know that, but…you did still attack someone when the match was over." Ironwood knew he had to play the part here.

"Well…I suppose so…" Yang had seen the reactions to her stunt.

" _Daaaammmn, Talk about back luck, if only that girl hadn't have tripped."_ One man said over the intercom.

" _Poor bastard, and I thought stubbing your little toe on the kitchen was bad."_ Another man said trying not to laugh.

" _I get that it was an accident, but damn, that was one hell of an accident."_ Another person being interviewed said.

One thing was for sure, Yang was not being blamed for her premature attack. Even though unlike in the original show, she intended to do this. Funny, she didn't meant to break his leg in the show, and she gets blamed, but this time she meant to hit him in the nuts, and she gets off free…well mostly.

"Just…well, you can still attend the finals, but just to keep your weapons deactivated, for the people's sake." People were still worried that her weapons might accidentally go off.

Talk about premature release.

"Okay.." Yang pretended to be downtrodden.

As Ironwood left the room, the group started laughing.

"I can't believe you did that!" Jeremiah couldn't believe that she actually sack tapped him.

"Neither Can I!" It was honestly a spur of the moment thing. But at least it got her so she didn't have to worry about people turning on her like they did in Volume 3.

"I would almost feel bad for Mercury if I didn't know what he did." Blake said as she remembered back on those times.

She still couldn't believe she mad Yang cry by insinuating that she may have actually hurt Mercury on purpose, it made her feel bad every single time she thought of the blond crying. She really didn't want to have to go through that again, especially if it meant Yang would end up getting the short end of the stick.

"Well, if he wasn't evil, I would feel bad." Ruby said as Pyrrha was remaining quiet.

"So look on the bright side." They all smiled as they looked at Pyrrha.

"You can have your match in relative peace!" Ruby pointed out as Pyrrha raised a brow.

"I mean, because in the show, you were conflicted because of the maiden power thing, but they moved here away from here, and the only reason things went bad was because of Emerald's illusions, but now you know what is going to happen, and to make matters even better, Cinder won't be able to strike due to the fact that upped the security, and Neo and Roman won't be around to take over the ship." Nora finished for Ruby.

It was true, needless to say, Roman and Neo had become a lot more relaxed after their return from Earth, granted Roman for some reason demanded he be put in Cell 35 instead of 34…it was odd, why did he hate the number 34?

Ironwood was still having a hard time trusting them though, so they were not allowed out of their cells. Neo was happy as long as she had ice cream and entertainment. Also in a way she had become the unofficial mascot of Squad 13.

She was just an adorable little psychopath.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Pyrrha did feel like the weight of the world was off of her shoulders.

"So think you'll win?" Jaune asked as Pyrrha smiled.

"Well, at this point it could go anyway." Suddenly Ruby started to panic.

"Oh no! Who do I root for! I mean, you're my friend Pyrrha! But Penny is also my friend! And I don't want to disappoint either one! Which do I choose?!" Ruby was in full panic mode.

"Ruby, I'm sure you can wish them both good luck." Weiss had never seen Ruby act like this.

"Yeah, just relax, everything is going fine." Jeremiah said as Winter stood up.

"I have to go." She said as Jeremiah looked up.

"What already?" He asked as she nodded.

"I was only supposed to be here for a few hours, but now I have to go, remember?" She asked as she still had her duties to attend to.

"I suppose so…when will I see you again?" He asked as she looked away in thought.

"I don't know, maybe soon, maybe tomorrow? I guess you'll just have to wait." She said as she gave him a light kiss.

"Now you're just being a tease." He pouted as she smirked.

"You know you love me." She said as she walked out of the room.

"Daaaammmn, that look on your face, you got it BAD!" Nora said as Jeremiah blushed.

"I'm surprised Weiss, you seem to be okay with your sister and I kissing in front of you now." Jeremiah saw that Weiss was rolling her eyes.

"For Oum's sake, you've been dating for awhile now, it doesn't bother me, besides you've cut down on drinking, so at least you have shown that you can make good choices." Jeremiah was giving her a smirk.

"Oh? Was that a compliment?" He asked as she glared.

"Shut up!" She said going full Tsundere.

Jeremiah chuckled as he knew that Weiss actually liked him as a friend. He was an interesting fellow, stupid as shit sometimes, but an interesting fellow none the less. Either way, he was looking forward to the future. Obviously they would still have to worry about Cinder in the future, but he was feeling pretty good, after all what could she possibly do now? They had stripped her entire plan away from her. A key part of it was making sure that Mercury looked like an innocent victim, but the only thing that happened was he nearly got Theon Greyjoyed by a Concussive blast. He had to admit, he could understand how that would seem painful.

All dudes usually felt sympathy when another man got kicked in the balls. So imagine what getting hit with a super heated concussive blast with the force of a car would do to your precious jewels?

"So what should we do now?" Jaune asked as they had some time to kill.

"Well, I should go prepare." Pyrrha said as she got ready to go.

"And Winter just left, so I can't make out with her." Jeremiah said trying to get a rise out of Weiss.

"Okay just because I'm okay with light kisses between you two doesn't mean I'm okay with you two tonguing each other!" Weiss had decided to remind Jeremiah of Momma's very important advice.

"No ding ding without the wedding ring!" She said as he groaned.

"Jesus Christ, you are never going to stop saying that are you?" He asked as she shook her head.

"Nope." She walked out of the room shortly after.

Soon enough, Qrow and Jeremiah were the only ones left in the room.

"So…." Qrow decided to speak first.

"So…" Jeremiah honestly didn't know what to say.

"I suppose I should thank you." Jem couldn't believe it, what was he thanking him for?

"For helping my nieces, and for telling them about what is going to happen." Qrow finished as he wanted Jem to know what he was thanking him for.

"I was just doing what any decent person would do, I mean, once you know something like that, you can't just sit around and do nothing." He looked Qrow in the eyes.

"But you know all about that, don't you?" He asked as Qrow nodded.

"More than you will ever know kid." He said as Jeremiah sighed and pulled out a flask.

"Here, this is my emergency stash." He said as Qrow raised an eyebrow.

"Where have you been hiding that?" Qrow didn't know where he had been hiding that.

"I told you I like pockets." He finished as Qrow gave a slight grin.

"You know kid, you're alright." He took a swig from the flask.

"But where were you hiding it before? I mean, you didn't have that on you before…" Qrow was suddenly worried he might have been hiding it in his a-

"Relax, It was in my backpocket next to my wallet." Jeremiah cut his thoughts off before they went further.

"I don't think your girlfriend would be too happy with you keeping this from here." He said as he offered it to Jeremiah.

"Probably not, but hey, this is the cheap stuff, low in alcohol content, so just enough to give you a slight drunk feeling, but not enough to screw you up." He said as this was the cheapest whiskey he could fine.

"Eh, works for me." Qrow said as Jeremiah took a swig.

"Besides, doesn't beat the stuff we drank earlier." For once Qrow was agreeing with him.

"I don't know where you got that stuff, but that was some powerful shit." Qrow had never drank anything like that in his life.

"Well what you had was some good ol moonshine, distilled in my basement, I concentrated it to the point where it makes Everclear look like Water." Qrow raised a brow at that.

"You don't look like the chemistry type." He was making an honest observation.

"Give me a vat of ingredients and no alcohol to drink, and I can make whiskey out of piss, seriously, when it comes to booze, I'm a bit of a self taught expert…well, that and my dad eventually got a degree in Chemistry…" That had really helped his brewing business.

"Sounds like a great guy." Qrow's father was nothing like the sort.

"Yeah he is, I'm glad I went home with him instead of some other random couple." Qrow actually felt a little bad at possibly bringing up a sore subject.

"Shit, no wonder you drink so much." Okay that was not the right thing to say.

"What? I don't drink because I have issues, I drink because I like to….and not because I'm an alcoholic, if I was, I wouldn't be able to go a day without a drink." He said as he put the flask back.

"And what do you call that?" Qrow saw him putting the flask back in his pocket.

"Hey, I said I would cut down on it, not cut it out completely." He finished as they looked up.

"Why don't we go watch the fight?" Qrow asked as Jem nodded.

"Sounds good to me you old bastard."

"You call me old one more time I'll kick your ass all the way back to your crib." Qrow jabbed at him.

"Like to see you try without your walker getting in the way." He sent a jab right back.

Yep, they would get along just fine.


	61. A Match and The Drive Thru

**So this chapter is a bit shorter than the others. Mostly because I needed to put something in before I got back to school. This week is a little hectic. Anyways, good news is I've been sober for about a week or two now I think.**

 **Instead of shots of Rum, I'm doing shots of Coconut milk, trying to replace something unhealthy with something healthy.**

 **Only problem is trying to cut out all the fast food and replacing it with plain chicken breast, broccoli and brown rice.**

 **Damn, why did God make food so bad taste so good?**

 **Also I went back and edited this because this was the first draft, and the first draft was different in the ordering at the drive thru.**

* * *

"So this should be fun." Jeremiah was excited as he was sitting next to Team RWBY as well as the three members of JNPR.

"You're not worried?" Ruby asked as they could not believe how relaxed he was.

"Like we talked about earlier, what do we have to worry about, tomorrow, everything that happened in Volume 3, it will all seem like a bad dream." He was munching on his popcorn happily.

You know, it was funny, when Jeremiah first finished Volume 3, he actually felt sad, the teams were scattered, Yang was broken, Pyrrha was gone, and everything all looked hopeless. Maybe that was why he retreated into Fanfiction, because you would see alternate storylines as to what could have happened. Granted he had contributed to a few weird ones, but that was besides the point.

The point of his escape into fanfiction is he wished he could have done something to prevent the events in volume 3 from unfolding, but he couldn't. That was impossible and all he could wait was for the show to continue on to see what would happen next. But then he got an oppurunity that no one would ever get in their life time. A chance to make things better for the people of Remnant, a chance to fix things before they broke, a chance to make the world a better place. Not everyone gets a chance like that, and he did, he just hoped it would last.

After all, with Salem still out there, who knows what could happen?

"Well, let's just watch and see what happens." Yang said as she was munching on a corn dog.

"Pyrrha looks a lot more relaxed." Jaune said as they saw her walk into the arena.

"Probably helps that she doesn't have to worry about Penny." Weiss pointed out.

When they saw 'PvP' for the first time. Pyrrha was noticeably distraught, but now that she knew Emerald's tricks. She wasn't going to fall for that again. It gave her a sense of calm. And for that she was grateful. It wasn't everyday that you had a chance to save a life before it was taken.

"So where did Uncle Qrow head off to?" Ruby asked as she noticed her Uncle had left early.

"Said he had to meet Ironwood for something." Yang recalled as it seemed urgent.

"Hope it wasn't anything too serious." Nora couldn't help but feel a little worried.

"Relax guys, its probably nothing." Blake was sure they would be safe.

"Then why do you have your weapon with you?" Ruby asked as Jeremiah took the time to look around.

"Uh guys, we all have our weapons." He pointed out as they looked to their sides.

Sure enough, every single one of them was still armed.

"Apparently we're all still a little worried that something might happen." It wasn't that uncommon.

They may have been more relaxed, but you don't just erase months of worrying in a few minutes. It just wasn't that simple. Besides, what if something did go wrong? What if their efforts were in vain and they needed to fight? No, they couldn't think like that, it would only lead to making mistakes. And they couldn't afford to make mistakes if push came to shove.

"It's starting." Blake said as the match was about to start.

"Well, here we go again." Jem said as he looked at the rifle slung over his shoulder.

He prayed that he wouldn't have to use it.

"By the way, Ruby did you do the maintenance on my rifle?" Jem thought he should ask that now rather than later.

"Yep, all the dust bullets are completely fine and won't transport you to some other dimension." Ruby was certain of it.

Although she was close to figuring out the formula for the inter dimensional dust herself, who knows, it might come in handy.

But then again, what the hell would she do with the power to travel dimensions?

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"How the hell did we get out of there?" Cristofer didn't know what happened, but they got out of there without a scratch.

"Well, remember? You just knocked them out by grabbing one of Tigerstripes sex toys and beating them over the head with it." Blaze pointed out as he shivered in disgust.

Why did anyone need a dildo THAT long? Seriously what the hell was wrong with this woman? More importantly, why the hell did she need that many sex toys? And why did they all have Jeremiah's name written on them?

You know, on second thought, Blaze didn't want to know what kind of weird fantasies she was having. He was already disturbed enough.

"Don't remind me, It was bad enough that some of those damn furries seemed to like it…" Cristofer had never been so freaked out in his life.

Masochism was not sexy to him, and it was definitely not fun to knock a furry out with a giant rubber dick…this was not how he was expecting this investigation to go. He figured it would be a simple case, find the guy, and get him back home, never in his life did he think that he would be on the case of a crazy furry with an animal dildo collection…His life just kept getting weirder and weirder.

"Look, can we stop by a fast food joint really quick? I'm hungry." Blaze said as they hadn't eaten anything all day.

"Yeah sure, no problem." Cristofer pulled over into a Mcdonalds drive thru.

"What do ya want?" He asked as Blaze just leaned out the window into the intercom.

"Yeah, can I get two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda...oh and a mcflurry?" Blaze ordered for himself.

" _Sorry, ice cream machine is broke."_

"EVERY SINGLE TIME!" Blaze could never get any ice cream out of mcdonalds.

"Okay, and I'll take a big mac and fries." Cristofer had no idea how Blaze could eat that much.

Seriously he wasn't a fat kid, and there was no way he could finish all of that by himself.

"Are you sure you can finish that?" Cristofer said as Blaze nodded.

"Yep! No doubt about it!" He said with a weird grin.

"Uh okay…" Something wasn't right.

"Here you go sir." The disgruntled cashier said as she handed him the bags.

"Thank you." He replied as she looked like she hated her job.

Then again, nobody liked working at Mcdonalds, but someone had to do it.

"Here's your meal fat ass." Cristofer said as he gave him the bag.

"Hey, that wasn't very nice." Blaze said as he took the bag from him.

"You ordered enough food to feed a family, don't you want to live until you're at least fifty?" Cristofer was trying to make conversation.

"Who in the hell goes into a Mcdonalds thinking about their health? I sure as hell don't." Blaze said as he got a Quarter pounder out of the box.

"I'm just saying man, all this stuff will clog up your arteries, it can't be good for you." He said as he took quick look back.

Only to see that he had already finished an entire burger. Okay what the hell? That was fast! How the hell did he do that?

"Damn you eat fast." He said as he turned his eyes back to the road.

"I used to work as a line operator, you get about a five minute lunch break, so you learn to eat fast." He said as he unwrapped another burger.

"Look, are you sure you want to do this to yourself? I mean, you're going to plug yourself up with almost 5000 calories worth of-" He looked back to see that another burger was gone.

"Okay bullshit! There is no way you could have finished that one that fast." Cristofer could not believe this was happening.

"What?" Blaze said innocently as he was now slowing down and taking smaller bites.

"Oh screw it, I'm done trying to figure this out." He was just going to focus on the road now.

He heard munching going on in the back seat, how could that guy eat that much? I mean, that was about four to five meals he was eating back there? And yet he finished two of them like they were nothing at all, what the hell kind of metabolism did he ha

"Prrr." He heard a slight noise come from the back seat.

"What was that?" The detective asked as he was sure that wasn't a human noise.

"Oh! My stomach growled sorry!" He said as he blushed and Cristofer narrowed his eyes.

"Bullshit, you've been eating for awhile now, why would your stomach be…" And then he was cut off by the noise again.

"Pprrrr." That sounded like…purring?

SCCCRRRRREEEECCCH!

"Get out of the car." Cristofer said as Blaze looked innocent.

"What? Why? I didn't." He soon saw Cristofer reach for his gun.

"GET…OUT…OF…MY….CAR." He emphazied slowly as Blaze decided to just go along with it.

"Okay…just…calm down." He said as he got out of the car.

"Open the other door." He had a feeling he knew what was making that noise.

"Why should I-" Blaze was paniciking a bit now.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" He did not have the patience for this.

"Okay okay! Just…try and keep calm." Blaze said as he opened the door.

Only to reveal a large object covered by a blanket.

"You didn't…" Cristofer too the blanket off.

Only to reveal the tiger from before, his wounds all bandadged up and munching on a burger.

"I can explain…" Blaze knew he was going to be pissed.

"YOU PUT A TIGER IN MY CAR!" He yelled as he was pissed off.

"I couldn't just leave him there…" Blaze tried to defend himself.

"Oh great! Look, he got meat and sauce all over my seats! Do you know how hard those are to clean! That's real leather there!" Cristofer was not happy.

"But he looked so cute…" Blaze had to admit, he did not think this through.

"SHE…SHE is a wild animal!" Cristofer had to point out that this particular tiger was female.

"Okay, but come on look at that face." Blaze said as he put his face next to the tigers.

It was just staring at Cristofer with a dumb look on its face as it fell asleep after its meal. Cristofer was not phased.

"You're taking this thing back to the zoo." Cristofer demanded as Blaze shook his head.

"No! I want to keep her!" He gave the tiger's head a hug.

"It's a wild animal, and it could maul you to death!" Why the hell was he being forced to be the logical one.

"But she's just a innocent little kitten!"

"AN INNOCENT KITTEN THAT CAN KILL YOU!"

Yep, these two were having one hell of a disagreement. Meanwhile the Tiger itself was merely sitting there eating its food patiently. That is until it saw there was more food in the front seat and tried to crawl up there to get at it.

As the Tiger put its head down to grab the tasty food, its paw hit the shifter of the car, putting it into drive.

"I am not letting you keep it!" Cristofer couldn't believe that they actually had to have this conversation.

"Well we can't just leave it there! What if the people who find her put her down due to her injuries?!" Blaze honestly didn't know what to do.

The Tiger could still live a normal life, but if PETA got their hands on her, then they would probably euthanize her to spare her a life without ears.

He knew that because they did it to a cat he adopted, they broke into his house and killed it….PETA was one fucked up group.

"Look, as soon as we find a zoo, we are….WHAT THE HELL?!" Cristofer took off running as he saw the car was getting away.

"HEY! MS. PENNY COME BACK!"

Yep, Blaze had named his tiger after one of his favorite RWBY characters.

 **LATER IN REMNANT**

"Ahh Choo!" Penny sneezed right before her match.

"You okay?" Pyrrha asked as she didn't think robots could sneeze.

"Oh, probably nothing." Penny responded by getting into a fighting pose.

"Ready?" Penny challenged as Pyrrha smiled.

"Ready.


	62. When the world stopped turning

**Okay, so the pacing in this is a little rushed, mostly because, I just wanted to get this over with, and I didn't know any way to do it. So yeah, not a big fan of this chapter since its pretty much glorified filler.**

 **Now, I do have a warning for my Fellow Americans. There was one part that I did write that did have a bit of an impact on me...and for those of you who were alive all those years ago to remember...you'll understand it just fine.**

* * *

 **ARENA**

"GO PENNY! GO PYHHA!" Ruby decided to cheer both combatants on.

In fact, she now had a flag in each hand, one with Pyrrha's face on it, and one with Penny's face on it. It was a little weird, but she didn't really care.

"Where did you get those?" Yang honestly didn't know where she got those flags.

"Remember? They sell team gear all over the place! Heck, I found a t shirt with Penny's face on it!" She held it up.

It was true, sales for Team gear from your preferred academies had gone up in preparation for the Vytal tournament, the top sellers so far were Pyrrha Nikos fan gear, and surprisingly Team SSSN. Though that might have been because most of the gear was just shirts and hoodies of Sun's abs, which both men and women had grown to love.

Yeah..his abs were NIIIICCCEEE.

"Still though, it's a little weird." Weiss said as Ruby had a whole bag of Team Gear.

"Hey, you have your hobbies, I have mine." She said as they turned back to watch the fight.

Pyrrha had to admit, Penny was one tough opponent, the robot girl certainly didn't pull any punches, and those weird puppet swords were a challenge. She never understood her weapons until she traveled to Earth, and she realized that Penny was based on Pinnochio.

Which in all honesty, all she could think about was Penny singing "I've got no strings." Either way, she needed to stay focused. Penny was not going to be easy to beat, especially since the robot girl didn't seem to feel any pain.

Course..Pyrrha's mind flashed back to that moment frozen in time, with her making a mistake and killing Penny. She knew she wasn't going to let that happen again, but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel that Emerald would be up to her old tricks.

But strangely, she saw nothing out of the ordinary. No multiple swords coming out of nowhere. No stressful illusions. In fact, she saw nothing at all. She took a quick peek into the crowd to see that Emerald wasn't even in the crowd.

" _Strange, why isn't she there?"_ Pyrrha couldn't help that things were going to go wrong.

But what could possibly happen. The catalyst for the invasion was seeing Penny die and cut to bits, revealing that Atlas had a hidden agent, if they couldn't do that, then what would be the point? Did they give up? Or were they planning something nefarious.

"My turn!" Penny said as she was preparing her laser cannon.

"Crap…" Pyrrha knew how this could go.

" _Hmm, what else do I have to worry about?"_ Penny was thinking as she saw her new friend Jeremiah from the crowd.

"PENNY! SAY THE THING! SAY THE THING!" He yelled out as everyone looked at him like he was crazy.

" _Huh? What does- Oh of course!"_ Penny made a promise to her new friend that she would say one thing when she was using this attack.

"IMMA FIRING MY LAZZAAAARRR!" She said as she released a downpour of energy.

"THANK YOU!" Jeremiah was happy as he laid back in his seat completely satisfied.

Meanwhile, Pyrrha couldn't believe that Penny was actually using that attack. Luckily the shields surrounding the arena prevented it from going into the crowd. But why would Penny use that, unless…

"DID YOU TELL HER TO USE THAT?!" Pyrrha yelled into the crowd at Jeremiah.

"No! I implied it!" He said as he waved at Penny.

"Hi!" She said as people couldn't believe the exchange.

" _Why are my friends crazy?"_ Pyrrha charged Penny as she knew she needed to close the distance to stand a chance.

"Did you really get Penny to use that attack just because you wanted to hear her say 'Imma firing my lazar?'" Weiss couldn't believe he would do that.

"Hey, I one time punched a guy for a Klondike bar…although I did get my ass kicked for it…" He thought back to the time he got too drunk in a bar.

Apparently, a friend bribing you with a Klondike bar to punch the guy wearing the Hells Angels jacket was a very bad experience. But at least he still got his Klondike bar when he was in the hospital. Come to think of it, that happened after Winter left…maybe that was why he wanted to cut down on drinking. Getting your ass kicked by a motorcycle gang was no fun.

How the hell was he still alive? Pure dumb luck.

"Well, at least they're fighting with all they got." Ruby said as she saw the two were now in each other's faces trying to get the upper hand.

"Damn, look at me go." Jem couldn't believe that he was actually seeing this in real life.

On the show it was amazing, but seeing real people, well, real human and real robot/person/thingy go at it like in DBZ was awesome as hell.

"You seem surprised." Yang knew he watched the show, why was this so different.

"Well, back home, this kind of stuff is physically impossible, so its still an adjustment." He couldn't believe he could keep up with their movements.

Pyrrha skidded back as Penny unleashed a Storm of Swords, Pyrrha continued to backflip away from the slashes as she realized she needed to come up with a better strategy. She could use her semblance, but in all honesty, she was still a little paranoid about what could happen. So she looked at Penny.

Those swords were a great offensive and defensive tool, and if Penny caught her in her lazer attack, Pyrrha was screwed, so she needed to find a way to charge in while avoiding swords and land enough hits on Penny so that she could drain her Aura.

Wait…Penny was a robot who had Aura, did that mean she could take more damage than a regular human so Pyrrha would have to work even harder to get her to run out?

" _Wow, the more I think about it, the harder it gets."_ Pyrrha really wished she could use her Semblance without fear of repersuccsion, but she couldn't.

 **Meanwhile on an Atlas Ship**

"Skies look pretty clear." A young captain said as all was well with the air fleet.

"I don't know, you ever get that feeling that something bad is going to happen?" A private couldn't help but feel something bad was going to happen.

"Private, General Ironwood assured us that all problems were taken care of and we don't have to worry about anything other than providing security, you spend too much time worrying." The Captain said in complete confidence.

"I know Sir, its just that, I'm a little paranoid with how many things went wrong, I mean the General sending all those Knights back for reconstruction, you can't help but feel that something else may go wrong." He said as he was known for being paranoid.

"Private, relax, if anything its good that he caught that design flaw early before something else went wrong, can you imagine the problems that would have surfaced if those machines went rogue during a Grimm Attack? I dare say we would be in a world of shit." The Captain had no fear of the situation.

"Still though, sending over a thousand units back?" Private couldn't help but be worried.

"Okay yes I will admit, it is distressing knowing how many machines were defective, but we don't have to worry about that. Just try and relax." The Captain wasn't like most hard ball commanding officers.

He was actually very personal with his men, and had a great friendship with the enlisted personal.

"Sorry Captain, just a little worried." The private stated as he couldn't help but feel that something lifechanging was going to happen.

"Hey buddy! Can I please get a drink over here!" They heard a voice say from one of the containment units.

"Will you go check on him?" The captain said as the private sighed.

"We already told you Torchwick, we don't keep alcohol on board this ship." The private said as he walked over to the cell.

Due to Torchwick and his associate being on good behavior, they were allowed in regular cells, but that didn't mean that they didn't keep an eye on the two. Granted, the short one wasn't too much of an issue, she spent most of her time reading and eating.

"Look, I saw your Captain sneaking booze in those so called 'Gas cans." Torchwick said as he knew the smell of Mistalian Vodka anywhere.

"Er, no…that was dust propellant!" Shit, if Torchwick told on them, they would get an ass chewing from the General.

He may enjoy his booze, but not on duty!

"Look buddy, I'm not asking for much, just give me a small cup, and I won't tell the General when he comes by." Torchwick said as the private rolled his eyes.

"And what makes you think I would listen?" The private knew not to trust him.

"Because if you don't, you won't get your wallet back." Torchwick said as he held a wallet.

"What?!" He reached into his pocket to see that his wallet was gone.

"Geez, Newbie, you realize I was a criminal right? You're lucky I didn't steal the key. HEY CAPTAIN!" Torchwick said as the Captain walked over.

"Let me guess, you got another one?" He had an irritable look on his face.

"Hey, you're lucky I don't feel like escaping, because I could have done it." He yelled as the Captain sighed.

"You realize you keep pulling this you'll get pulled off the good behavior list." He said as Roman rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I'm doing you a service! If anything that gives me more points." He was trying to defend himself here.

In all honesty, Torchwick hadn't tried to escape, he just liked to dick around with the new privates. Which was nothing different from some of the more experienced grunts fucking with them, don't even get the Captain started on how the E4 mafia loved to screw with the privates. His thoughts went back to his first day as a lieutenant.

" _yeah, I mean, I just transferred out of Advanced-" The young private was quickly cut off by a Sergeant._

" _NO ONE GIVES A SHIT YOU FUCK FACE DICK BEATER!"_

Needless to say, that Private was scared of the first sergeant ever since that. Then again, it was the first sergeant, you were supposed to fear him.

"Captain! There's an incoming ship!" A young lieutenant said as the Captain was confused.

"What? That can't be right." He looked out the deck window as he saw there was an approaching air ship.

"It's one of ours, but why? We didn't send for any reinforcements, why is this a ship?" He asked himself as he attempted to make contact with the ship.

"Attention unidenfified Atlesian Air vessel, please connect me to your commanding officer and state your purpose for being in this country." All he could hear was radio silence.

"Unidentified Atlesian Air Vessel…" That was weird, why weren't they responding.

"Why are they getting closer?" A private asked as that ship wasn't slowing down.

"Wait…" Roman got a good look.

"OH SHIT! GET US OUT OF HERE!" Roman yelled as the Captain looked back.

"What its just a-" He was cut off by Roman.

"Those aren't reinforcements!" Roman yelled as he knew what was going on.

"What is it then?" Captain asked as Roman looked at him.

"An attack…"

 **BACK IN THE ARENA**

No one could believe it, this was the most they had ever seen Pyrrha exhausted before, some thought of her as some sort of warrior goddess, yet here she was finally meeting her match against a girl from Atlas. Pyrrha usually used her semblance in accordance with her fighting prowess, but since she had ruled that out as an option, Penny became a much tougher fight for her. And to be honest, she loved the feeling of it.

Could Penny finally beat her? She really hoped so.

" _ERROR ERROR!"_ Suddenly their fight was interrupted by speakers going off.

"What the?" Pyrrha asked as they heard an announcement going over the intercom.

"Ladies and gentleman! We are terribly sorry, but it would appear that the shield generator for the field has been temporarily disabled, would the combatants please stop and rest while we get the generator fixed, after all, we don't want any stray attacks flying into the viewing gallery." Oobleck's voice rang over the intercom as people groaned.

"That's…unusual…" Pyrrha tried to write it off as something random, but she knew something was wrong deep down.

"Hey guys! Look up!" Jem yelled out as they looked in the sky.

"Hey, that's an Atlesian ship!" Penny took a closer look.

"But that can't be right…" She said as Pyrrha looked at her.

"What can't be right?" She asked as she didn't like the feeling she was getting.

"That ship was sent home weeks ago containing thousands of Atlesian knights, it's not due back for another week." Penny said as Pyrrha got a really bad feeling.

"Why isn't it stopping?" Jem asked himself as he noticed that Ship was on a collision cours.

"It's not going to stop…" Weiss suddenly got a bad feeling.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!" Jem yelled as the crowd didn't know what to think.

CCCRRRRRAAASSSSHHHHHH!

"HOLY SHIT!" Jem ducked down underneath the seats as the crowd followed his move.

The two ships crashed into each other, the offending Vessel tore into the side of the ship as fire and wreckage started to rain down on the crowd.

"OH OU-" Some spectators tried to scream, but were quickly crushed by falling debris.

"Oh god…" Jeremiah couldn't believe it…this wasn't happening was it?

"EVERYONE RUN!" A man yelled as the wreckage continued to rain down on the crowd.

Jeremiah and the teams looked around, he saw a mother reaching towards her legs after she had been bisected, her legs twitching as she tried to grab a hold of them. He had to resist the urge to vomit as he saw that.

"Good lord…" He said to himself as he looked around and noticed that there were multiple parts of the arena where people had been crushed by falling debris.

And worst of all…it was all being recorded on the cameras for the whole world to see.

He looked up in the sky, the flaming debris bringing back a very familiar memory from his childhood. A normal day that started off just like any other, but then his mother came to him at school, with a tearful look in her eye, the fear in her face as he remembered going home. At first he thought it was a good day, no school, but it was only when he got home that he realized the reason his mother was crying. And suddenly he could understand it.

The flaming wreckage with people dying reminded him of seeing those smoking towers sixteen years ago, people screaming, and that other plane crashing into the second tower, and realizing that it wasn't an accident...but an act of terrorism.

He remembered crying over it, why would anyone do this? What god fearing man could willingly be responsible for the loss of thousands of lives, how could anyone with the potential for hurt and sadness bring such pain into the world?

And then he learned that not all people were born good, that some were brought into this world only to bring pain to others. He swore on that day that he would never become one of those, and that he would do anything he could to fight against anyone who would resort to terrorism.

And now...it was happening again to a different world.

The crash...

The smoke...

The wreckage...

The people dying and begging for help as he could hear the screams...

The results were the same...

 _"I tried to stop it...tried to stop it from happening to someone else...I wanted to help...but I couldn't...No...No no no..."_ He had a chance to stop something horrible, but it didn't matter.

If anything, he might have made it even worse.

"JERRY! MOVE!" Nora said as she was shaking him out of his thoughts.

He looked down in the arena, Pyrrha and Penny were okay. But they were terrified, they just saw an Atlesian ship crash into another one.

"What ha-" Penny was cut off as she felt something.

"Penny?" Pyrrha asked as she looked back.

Only to see that there was a large hole in her chest.  
"NNOOOOOO!" Ruby yelled as the group ran down towards them.

"No…this wasn't supposed to happen!" Jeremiah didn't know what to believe.

They had stopped Cinder! They had all the information! What was happening? Why was it happening? Whose ship was that? And why didn't they stop it? Suddenly, he heard a noise as he looked up in the sky. Only to see a similar sight to one he had seen a long time ago…in Volume 3.

Atlesian knights falling from the ship that crashed into the guard ship overhead, and not the ones under Ironwood's command, these all had red visors, which meant only one thing.

They had still been hacked by Cinder.

"Penny!" Ruby yelled as the group ran into the Arena.

"R-Ruby?" Penny asked as her friends ran over to her.

"Penny! Oh no…OH no no no!" Ruby couldn't believe it.

What had happened? Someone had shot her friend…but who? Who would do this? And why?

"Ruby…I…I feel cold…" Penny couldn't explain the feeling, but something didn't feel right.

"Ruby….why….do I feel….Scared?" Penny couldn't understand this alien feeling coming over her. A feeling of dread.

"It's okay Penny! You're okay! It's all going to be fine!" Ruby couldn't believe this…it was happening again.

Penny was dying for no reason.

"I'm scared Ruby, I don't want to be scared, I don't want to be scared…" Penny knew that humans could feel emotions, and she had a basic understanding of them.

But what she didn't know, was the feeling of impending dread you would feel as you feel your life force draining away, knowing that there was nothing you could do to stop it, and knowing that the only thing you had left in life, was to say goodbye.

"No…." Jeremiah couldn't believe this…

"I'm Scared Ruby, will I…." Penny's pupils went wide as you could hear the sound of a camera shutter as she powered down.

The aura core in her chest had been destroyed, and with it, so had Penny.

"W-Who did this?" Ruby asked as she looked around.

The group turned to look at an Atlesian Knight that had fallen into the arena, it's gun pointed straight at them.

"YOU." Ruby said as she felt angry.

"You're-" She was cut off by someone beating her to it.

"AAAAGGGHHH!" Jeremiah charged forward with his weapon in Tomahawk form.

He tackled the robot to the ground as he straddled it's waist and started to bring the tomahawk down on its head.

Again…

And again….

And again.

He looked down at the crumpled heap of Robotic junk, and then back at his friends.

He looked around, seeing the people being gunned down by Atlesian knights. This wasn't supposed to happen, he came here to prevent this, but the exact opposite was happening. But what bothered him was one thing.

This didn't happen in the show, everyone got away, so what was happening? And then he saw the look on everyone's face.

Fear…pain…anguish…despair. That was all he could see, and those were the emotions that attracted Grimm….wait.

"No….she didn't." Cinder didn't have a back up plan did she?

He knew that Cinder planted the seeds of doubt when Mercury was injured and sealed the deal with Penny's death, but she couldn't do that…so…she must have improvised.

Did she plan this all to make people feel fear? The Grimm were coming, he could hear them in the distance, only this time, there was no force field to protect the people, they would be sitting ducks.

"Shit…" He said as he shifted his weapon back into Rifle form.

"Guys, we have to get the people onto those ships." He said as everyone nodded.

"I thought this wasn't supposed to happen." Yang couldn't believe that shit was still going south.

"It wasn't…"


	63. First Kill (Short)

**So,this chapter is short and rushed, just figured I would get this out there. Anyways, It may take me awhile to write another chapter because I go back to college tomorrow, so just hang in there.**

* * *

"SHIT!" The group was making their way out of the arena. But it wasn't easy.

Every step you had to look up and make sure a piece of debris wasn't falling down. And if you weren't doing that, you had to make sure that the civilians were getting out alive. Which wasn't easy. Especially since in their panic, they were all crowding the exits onto the escape ships.

Jeremiah did not expect this trip to Remnant to end up like this, he was certain that he helped changed things so that they would be better. But now here he was in the fight for his life.

"Uh." He heard a grunt as he saw a small Lion Faunus child fall over.

"Oh no!" He saw a piece of debris coming towards her.

Not thinking, he ran towards the girl, hoping that he would get there in time.

"JERRY!" Nora yelled out as she saw him sprinting full speed.

As he got closer and closer, he realized this may have been a bad idea and he was starting to regret this.

" _GOT TO GO! GOT TO GO!"_ He thought to himself as he dived forward and grabbed the girl.

Just in time for the falling debris to hit where they had been standing a second ago.

"RUN!" Jeremiah said as the little girl nodded and ran off.

"COME ON!" Yang was yelling at the civilians as they all were boarding the escape ships.

"You too Jem." Yang said as he looked at them like they were crazy.

"Are you nuts? I'm not going." He said as he stood defiantly.

"Yes you are!" Blake said as this was not a debate.

"I can help!" He said as they all just glared.

"Look, we appreciate it, but you're a civilian, we're trained for this!" Even Jaune was trying to get him to go.

"I can fight!" Jeremiah hadn't spent his entire time in Alaska for entertainment.

He had been training extensively in the use of Red Dawn, and now that he had Aura, he could actually fight back on even ground, granted, he would not be useful against Adam, but he was certain he could take out a few white fang grunts.

"We know you can fight, but this is different!" Pyrrha really didn't want to see him get hurt.

"If you think you're going to convince me to leave, you're sadly mistaken."

Suddenly he felt someone grab him from behind.

"HEY!" He yelled as he was thrown into the ship.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He saw that it was Ren who had pushed him in.

"Saving your life." The hatch to the ship closed.

"NO! YOU CAN'T-" The door shut as Jeremiah was now on his way out of the area.

The group knew that they had done the right thing, while Jeremiah was strong in his own right, there was no way he could help them.

Just because he saw himself as a Viking didn't mean that he was anything like them.

So they were certain they made the right-

BOOOOMMMMM

They turned back to see that the ship he was on had been hit by a artillery round set up by the white fang, and his ship was now falling to the ground at a rapid rate.

"No…." Pyrrha held her hands to her mouth in horror as she realized what just happened.

"Did…" Nora didn't want to believe it.

"D-Did we just…." Ruby shook her head in denial.

"Kill our friend?" Blake finished the sentence.

They prayed to Oum that he got out of it alive.

 **MEANWHILE IN THE WRECKAGE**

"How the hell did I survive that?" Jeremiah asked as he had a gash in his arm that was healing due to his Aura being unlocked.

"Everyone alright?!" He asked as he was hoping he wasn't the only survivor.

He didn't get any answers, he checked around. Some people were alive, but they were unconscious, that was good. At least he knew they weren't dead…well, at least all of them weren't dead. Some were definitely not in the realm of the living anymore.

One man had a large gash in his head, caused by bumping against the wall during the crash. Some people were mostly beaten and battered, but they could still get out. But some were not so lucky. Some had broken bones, and Jeremiah knew that the were in no condition to walk.

"Okay." He said as he got to work.

He only knew some first aid from his time as an Eagle Scout, they never told him how to treat life threatening wounds, so the best he could do was help make a few makeshift bandages and splint some injuries up, not enough to help them walk, but just enough to help them survive.

"*Sob* *Sob*" He heard the sound of crying as he got done with one lady who was now being helped out of the wreck by her boyfriend.

"Hello?" Jeremiah saw that it was the lion faunus from before, she was crying as she was holding her arm.

"What happened?" He asked trying to calm the girl.

"M-My arm…" She said as she held it out for him to see.

She had a compound fracture, the bone was jutting right out of the skin. He really hated when this happened, mostly because he knew what he had to do next.

"Do you trust me?" He asked the little girl as she looked at him.

"Y-You're the one who saved me…" She said as she recognized the man.

He flew in like a bat out of hell and saved her from the falling debris, so did she trust him? Well, she didn't have a choice now did she.

"Now….this is going to hurt…" He warned the girl as he didn't want to do this.

CRACK

He snapped the bone back into place as the girl cried out in pain.

"AHHH!" She screamed as he put a splint on it and bandaged it up.

The problem with compound fractures is you had to reset the bone before you set it up, which was always a problem, that would not be a permanent fix, and she would need real medical attention, but now, he was doing the best he could.

"I'm sorry, this should be good until we can get you to a hospital." He said as he stood up only for the girl to grab his pant leg.

"Please…I have nowhere to go…take me with you." She said with tears in her eyes.

Jeremiah knew he couldn't leave her behind, if she had no one, he couldn't just leave her here all alone. And…well, she was giving him the puppy dog eyes…or was it lion eyes because she was a lion faunus? He sighed and turned his back.

"Stay behind me, don't want any Grimm getting to you." He looked around to make sure all the passengers who were still alive had left.

The girl grabbed her tail and followed closely to Jeremiah, she really hoped that he survived, he seemed like a nice person, if a bit odd. He didn't seem like he was from Vale, and he had a strange accent that she couldn't recognize. Where was he from?

"Okay, got to look around…" He took a quick survey of the lands.

The good news is, this wasn't an area that was being invaded by Grimm, right now they were focusing on the western part of vale and the arena floating in the sky. So that means he should have an easy time getting through right? The answer was no, because it would appear that the area that he was dealing with right now was being patrolled by the white fang.

"Well, all we got to do is sneak around." He said as he held the girls hand as he tried to lead her away from the grunts sneaking around.

He couldn't risk fighting any of them when he had her next to him. If he could find a way around, then that would be the best course of action.

"FREEZE HUMAN SCUM!" Well fuck, there went that plan.

"You got to be kidding me." Jeremiah turned to see a group of White fang grunts, surprisingly only one had a rifle, while the others were holding brass knuckles.

"Give us the girl." The leader noticed that the girl behind him was one of their people.

"Why?" Jeremiah asked as the girl gripped his pant leg and hid behind him.

"She is one of us, we can't let a HUMAN like you take her." The leader with a lizard tail said as Jeremiah narrowed his eyes.

"Considering how she doesn't want to go with you, I think she would be better off with me." He said as the little girl nodded.

"You act as if you have a choice, you do not." The lizard pointed his rifle at him.

"Give us the girl, or you die." Well this was not going according to plan.

He looked at the girl behind him. She obviously didn't want to go with them. They were White fang, the people who single handedly made things worse for the faunus community by making humans see them as nothing more than murderers and thieves. Why would she want to go with? Did they want her just because she was a faunus and they had to stick to their own race? Jeremiah sighed as he looked back at the lizard and his two buddies.

The other two being a tiger faunus and a Wolf faunus.

"Kid….close your eyes." Jeremiah said as she really didn't need to see what was going to happen next.

"Tell me…have you ever heard of the Christians?" He asked the lizard man as they looked at him like he was crazy.

"What are you talking about?" What was the point of that question? What was he on about?

"Well you see, my whole life I considered myself a good Christian man, I always seeked to find a peaceful way to solve problems, I thought the way to live life was to kill people through kindness.." At this, the white fang members started to laugh.

"Well, how very sweet of you, what an idiot." Suddenly they received a glare from the man.

"I wasn't finished…." He glared as he fingered the tomahawk on his belt.

 **(Play Amon Amarth: Vengeance is my name)**

"You see, only now, after seeing everything that has happened, all the pain and the suffering…the misery and the fear, all of this caused by you and your band of idiots, I realize now…is not the time to be a lamb of god." He threw the tomahawk right at the Lizard man.

SHLUNK!

It hits its mark right into his forehead as he collapsed to the ground and the other two backed up at what just happened.

"Now is the time….to be a wolf of Odin." He ran forward pulling his tomahawk out of the head of the lizard faunus with the rifle.

"AAAHHHH!" He let out a roar as he charged the other two.

 **Meanwhile on Earth**

"That's a good kitty…." Blaze was petting Ms. Penny as Cristofer was currently on the other bed with a gun in each hand and a joint in his mouth.

After they had gotten his car back, and after he had to resist the urge to shoot the cat. He ended up getting a giant bottle of booze, a huge fat joint, and ended up passing out on the second bed in their hotel room.

"I wonder what Jeremiah would think of this?" Blaze asked as Ms. Penny was purring and cuddling close to him.

"I bet he likes Tigers." Blaze thought to himself as he figured Jeremiah was off doing something nice right now.

 **Back on Remnant.**

" **AAAHHHHHHHHH!"** The Tiger Faunus screamed out as Jeremiah scalped him.

Jeremiah had gone crazy, he knew that he couldn't be kind to these people. They were out to exterminate humanity, and he needed to make sure that didn't happen. Thinking back to all the people he saw dying in the stadium. He knew he couldn't let these people go unpunished.

He turned his sights to the final Faunus who had a broken leg and was currently trying to get away.

"No! Wait! Please!" He yelled as Jeremiah walked over to him.

"No." Jeremiah said as he brought his tomahawk down into the final Grunt's skull.

He pulled his tomahawk out of his skull as he looked at the bodies of the three faunus. Their faces a mix of shock and awe. Luckily these were lame brain grunts. They didn't even have their auras unlockd, which could only mean one thing.

"These guys were cannon fodder." Jeremiah narrowed his eyes in disgust.

It would appear that Adam Taurus didn't even care about his own people. How typical. And that was when it hit him. The faces of those three men came to his mind. Their horrified faces as he killed them, the painful scream as he scalped the tiger faunus. They all finally emerged in his mind.

And he threw up on the ground. Taking a life was never easy. Even if you believed you were doing the world a favor. It was hard to accept the fact that you had just killed another person. And it would be something that would haunt you the rest of your days. Because even if they were evil, it would come back and make you think of what could have happened if things were different.

In all honesty, Jeremiah knew he couldn't afford to lose control of himself right now. He had to get the girl to safety. And those men would have killed him if he didn't kill them. So he felt justified.

If not a bit bloodthirsty for some reason he couldn't determine.

" _Why the hell did I call myself a Wolf of Odin?"_ He thought to himself as he saw the little girl was still holding her eyes shut.

"Com on, we got to move." He said as he picked her up.

The lion faunus opened her eyes and looked at him. Only to immediately close them again.

"Y-You're covered in…in blood." She said as she saw his face was completely red from all the blood that came from that Tiger Faunus's scalp.

"I know…just don't look back." He said as she didn't need to see what he did to those faunus.

"Where are we going?" She asked as he saw a ship flying overhead.

"You're going to that ship, it should get you out of here." He said as she looked at him.

"What about you?" She didn't feel like leaving him.

"I have to go back and fight, my friends are in there." He wasn't about to leave Team RWBY and JNPR behind. Especially when he actually fight back now.

"B-But, where will I go?" She didn't want to be alone.

"Kid…I promise you, I will come find you." He knew she needed comfort now, and surprisingly the Viking wannabe covered in blood was her best option.

"Promise?" She said holding out her pinky.

"Promise." He couldn't believe Pinky Promises were a thing here.

"Whats your name kid?" He asked as he realized he hadn't asked her yet.

"Nala." Suddenly he got a strange look on his face.

"You're kidding me…" She didn't understand, why did he look so weird.

"What?" She didn't know why he was acting this weird.

"Did you know someone named Simba by any chance? Or maybe Mufasa?" He honestly needed to know.

"Uh, no, should I?" What was he on about?

" _Damn, well, a Lion faunus is named after a Lion King character, how unoriginal, what kind of idiot came up with that?"_ He thought to himself.

Unaware, that he was technically insulting himself.


	64. Lucky Bastard

**Okay, so another short chapter, So Jeremiah may be a bit overpowered here, but he's not, hes just very very lucky.**

* * *

 **At a Ship**

"Heh, told you I would get you here." Jeremiah said as he was holding Nala.

"But you did kill another five white fang grunts before we got here." She said as she had her eyes closed for that.

"But I got us here in one piece." He defended himself.

"My arm is broken." She pointed to her injury.

"It was broken before, that doesn't count." This girl could be pessimistic at times.

"Counts to me!" She said back as he rolled his eyes.

"Okay, how about you carry me, and you fight the white fang?" He pointed out as she shook her head.

"I'm good."

"That's what I thought." He proceeded to carry her over to the escape ship.

"Everyone get o- OH SWEET OUM!" A woman screamed as she saw Jeremiah approaching.

Apparently being covered in blood, carrying a tomahawk and holding a child was an intimidating sight. Jeremiah rolled his eyes, seriously? Had they never seen a guy covered in blood before? Seriously, this was the second time people had been scared of him because of the way he looked. Granted, the first time he had been in the Schnee Mansion and held a boy hostage, but this was something completely different. This time he was actually saving a life. But nope, beard man covered in blood, he must be a killer!

Okay, well he did kill eight faunus, but they were White Fang, come on.

"Someone get this girl out of here." He yelled as the patrons snapped out of their stupor.

"How is she?" One of the doctors said as they put her on a gurney.

"Broken arm, and maybe a few bumps, but that's all." He said as he noticed all the Faunus on the ship.

"Will she be safe here?" He asked as they nodded.

"She should be fine, wait, you're not coming with her?" The doctor said as he shook his head.

"I still got work to do." He said as Nala spoke up.

"Wait! You promised you would come back!" She yelled as he looked back at her.

"Relax Kid, I'll come back." He gave her a thumbs up.

"Now all I need is a ride up to that tower." He said as he heard a voice.

"Perhaps I can help?" He turned to see a very familiar pair.

An orange haired girly man in a burnt suit, and a small lady with an umbrella.

"Torchwick?! Little Neo?!" He couldn't believe it.

" _Stop calling me Little Neo!"_ Neo sighed furiously.

"But…weren't you guys on the ship that got hit?" There was no freaking way they could have survived that.

"You think they don't have escape pods on that ship? Come on, we were lucky that they decided to let me out at the last second, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Anyways, you want a ride, we can facilitate." Torchwick said as they pointed to a small transport, kind of looked like a tiny motorcycle/glider combination.

"Where did you get that?" He asked as Neo looked away.

"Uh, we…stole it." Roman said as Jem deadpanned.

"You know what, screw it, I don't care, just get me up to Beacon." He said as he got in the second seat.

"Uh yeah, that's Neo's seat." He said as Jem looked around.

"There's only two seats? What do you expect me to do?"

Roman only gave him a weird look in return.

 **FIVE MINUTES LATER  
**

" _You doing alright?"_ Neo signed as Jeremiah was hanging off of the back of the glider.

"OH YEAH! JUST FINE AND DANDY!" Seriously, this was what they meant by giving him a ride.

He could accept the fact that they had a weird motorcycle glider gadget, he could accept that Neo wanted to sit up front. He could even accept that Roman had stolen the damn thing. But what was really pissed him off was the fact that he was hanging off of the back of the glider with no support or rope whatsoever. He was pretty much holding on for dear life.

"Relax kid! We're almost there!" Roman said as Jeremiah was still pissed off.

"You are the load your mother should have swallowed!" Jem yelled back as Roman feigned pain.

"Oh dear, that hurts me when you say that." Roman was honestly enjoying this.

It was his revenge for not only having to get his ass kicked by Jeremiah's crazy old man, but also revenge for when he found Rule 34 on the internet. Needless to say, revenge was sweet.

 **Meanwhile at Beacon**

"Where did Jaune and Pyrrha go?" Ruby asked as she didn't see them anywhere near here.

"They went with Ozpin." Weiss said as she was busy dispatching Grimm.

"What? Why?" Yang didn't understand.

Ozpin wasn't going to make Pyrrha the fall maiden, he saw what had happened. So why was he heading there with Jaune and Pyrrha? The maiden wasn't even at Beacon anymore, Ozpin had her moved to a secure location. Course, he never told anyone where that was.

"Is he..trying to lure Cinder into a trap?" Blake asked as she decapitated a Grimm.

"Most likely, think she'll fall for it?" Nora crushed the skull of a grimm.

"For Vale's sake, lets hope so." Weiss really didn't want to have to relive the fall of Beacon.

"Do you think Jem is okay?" Ren asked as everyone looked a little down, but continued to fight.

They really couldn't believe what had happened. They had just wanted to save his life. But his ship had been shot down. And now they had no idea of knowing if he was alive or dead, they really hoped he was alive. He had survived fatal wounds before, but what about all the other people? All those souls that were trapped on that ship as it went down. It was horrifying to think about.

" _ **GGGGGGRRRR."**_ They saw a strange serpant like Grimm appear out of the ground.

"What the hell is that?!" Yang didn't recognize this Grimm.

"A King Taijutu?" Ruby suggested as Weiss shook her head.

"That's not a Taijutu…" She said as it had limbs.

"That thing is ugly." Yang prepared her gauntlets.

And suddenly they heard music coming out of nowhere.

" _ **THOR! ODINSON! PROTECTOR OF MANKIND!"**_ Screams came down from the sky as even the Grimm looked confused.

"What is going on?" Nora wasn't doing that, she didn't have her boombox.

"KEEP IT STEADY YOU ORANGE HAIRED LIMP DICK BAG OF ANAL DOUCHE!" They heard a very familiar voice as they looked up.

"Is that…" The two groups along with Teams CFVY and SSSN looked up to the sky.

"Jerry?" Nora said as she saw a particular sight.

Jeremiah was currently falling towards the serpant Grimm at a frightening speed, his tomahawk and knife at the ready. He was covered in blood, his beard had been dyed by it, while before it was red, now it was pure crimson with the blood of his enemies. And he looked pissed off.

" _ **RISE TO MEET YOUR FATE! RAGNAROK AWAITS!"**_ The music played as he continued to fall towards the serpant. Which they now decided to dub Ragnarok.

"Wooooah, that's cool." Sun said as he saw the man falling.

"Guy is a badass." Coco said as she was impressed.

Jeremiah continued to fall…and fall….Until.

He was swallowed by the serpant. Who was awaiting him with an open mouth. The serpant let a slight burp as you could see that Jeremiah was no more.

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"Will you stop feeding that damn thing?" Cristofer said as they ended up making their way back to Jeremiah's folks place.

"But she's so cute!" Blaze was feeding her strips of beef jerky.

"You're going to have to return that overgrown house cat sometime!" He couldn't believe he needed to have this conversation.

"No! I'm gonna keep her!" He said as he hugged her like a kid with a puppy.

"I work hard…I pay my bills, if there is a god, he hates me." Cristofer couldn't believe he had to deal with this shit.

"Penny! Do you want a treaty wheaty?" Blaze said in a baby voice as Ms. Penny's face lit up like a Kid at a candy store.

"Oh for fucks sake, at least stop baby talking to it!"

"No! She likes it!"

"I WILL SHOOT YOU!"

 **Back to Remnant**

"WHAT?!" Weiss cried out in shock.

"YOU DUMB ASS!" Yang could not believe they just watched that.

"Oh…never mind, maybe not so bad ass…" Coco said as she got back to fighting.

"Wait! Look!" Sun pointed to the Grimm.

It was making pained faces, almost as if it was being stabbed, but by what?

" _ **SCREEEEEEE"**_ It let out a scream as they saw its belly had something protruding out of it.

"Is he…." Weiss couldn't believe it.

"Fighting it…" Ruby rubbed her eyes.

"From the inside?!" Blake and Yang yelled at the same time.

"THAT IS SO BAD ASS!" Neptune yelled out as he had never seen that happen before in his life.

Another lump appeared in the belly of the beast, followed by another one, and then finally, you could see a small blade appear out of its stomach.

"GGGAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Jeremiah yelled as he stuck his upper body out.

"I WILL TAKE YOU TO HELL WITH ME!" Jeremiah said as he started to split the serpant from belly to groin.

" _ **SCREEEE"**_ The beast let out another pained scream as the man had an unfair advantage.

Once he got inside, even though that wasn't his intention, he started stabbing and hacking at everything on his way down before he got to the stomach. As it would appear, stomach acid was something you did not want to fall in. So he had bene gripping the internal lining of the Grimm's esophagus while he hacked his way free.

"FALL FOUL BEAST!" He yelled as he finally broke free of his prison.

And for the Grimm to collapse to the ground.

"VICTORY!" He yelled to the sky as everyone just looked at him.

"Where did you find this guy?" Sun asked as RWBY and NR were just stunned.

"Apparently Valhalla…" Nora couldn't freaking believe it.

"Oh hey guys!" He said as he came towards them.

"HEY GUYS?! THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO SAY?! WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD?! AND HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" Yang felt her eyes go crimson.

"No time to explain, lets just say, I got pissed, killed some things, and now here I am." He said as he looked around.

"Where are Jaune and Pyrrha?" He said as he smelled his arm.

Great, it smelled like he shoved his hand up a cows ass. But at least he got a bad ass story to tell. Granted he was highly stupid when he jumped into its mouth, but at least it all turned out okay.

"You're lucky to be alive!" Weiss said as they looked at him.

"I mean, you got stabbed back in your world, you had to escape the Schnee Mansion where the guards would have killed you on sight, Then you survive that ship crashing to the ground, and now you SOMEHOW SURVIVE BEING EATEN BY A GRIMM!" Weiss's brain could not handle the sheer absurdity of the situation.

"Maybe my semblance is invincibility?" He said being a smart ass.

"No, you're just an idiot." Blake agreed to that one.

"Wait, semblance?" Yang asked.

"Oh yeah, Winter unlocked my Aura, turns out I do have it, its just….well miniscule." He said as Yang started chuckling a bit.

"Well you know what they say about guys with small Auras." Jeremiah glared at her.

"Shut up Yang." He said as he turned to the school.

"I'm going to get Jaune and Pyrrha." He said as he looked around.

"Be careful!" Ruby said as everyone looked at her.

"Uh, Ruby, weren't we supposed to be protecting him?" Blake asked as Ruby just gave them a look.

"If he could survive all that crap, I don't think he needs us." She said as he was one lucky son of a bitch.

Maybe he was closer to John Mcclane than they thought.

Or maybe he was just lucky as hell, this wasn't make any sense.

Oh fuck it, they decided to stop worrying. He would probably survive this.

 **MEANWHILE ON A SHIP COMING BACK**

"Woah, never seen the Schnee so pissed off." One of the privates said as she looked PISSED off.

"What do you think crawled up her ass?" One of them said.

"Or what didn't?" One of the female privates said.

"Woah Janice, going a little too far there." Even the two privates didn't want to joke about their CO's sexual tastes.

"Well come on, we were supposed to be heading back to base and then she saw the footage from Beacon, and next thing we know, she's piloting the ship herself." They turned to see the Schnee woman pressing down on the accelerator of the ship.

"Do we really want to know why she's pissed? I think at this point, it's best to stay out of her way." Private Parts said as he didn't know what had happened. But she was going nuts.

" _I AM GOING TO SHOVE THAT STUPID TOMAHAWK UP HIS ASS!"_ Winter had never been this furious with her boyfriend.

She saw the footage of the attack on Beacon, she saw Jeremiah jumping from that stupid hoverbike thing. And she saw him get eaten by that damn thing. At first she felt like crying, until she saw him burst out of the Grimm's stomach. And now she was nothing but PISSED OFF!

First she'll kiss him, and then she'll kill him!


	65. The Furry and The Wolf of Odin

**So here we go, publishing this one today, trying to get back into my pattern of putting out at least two chapters a day, and since I got all my homework done, I managed to type this one out. Hope you all enjoy.**

 **Now once again, I did kind of rush this. But to be honest, how much can I really write considering we are in volume 3? I mean, we all know how it turns out for the most part, so there is no point in describing it all. Which is why details can be lacking.**

 **Anyways, hope you all enjoy.**

* * *

"How the hell did this happen again?" Ironwood asked as he was fighting side by side with Qrow.

"Hey, you tell me, I didn't get the memo until recently." Qrow said as Ironwood rolled his eyes.

"Is now really the time to be pissed about that?" He asked as he punched through a Beowulf's face.

"I was out there for MONTHS trying to gather information, and I come back and 'Oh no Qrow, we got all our information from a drunk guy!'" Ironwood just gave him an incredulous look.

"You're a drunk guy too dipshit!" Ironwood was now shooting random Grimm.

"Yeah, But I've been around longer than him!" Qrow was slicing through Grimm like there was no tomorrow.

In truth, Qrow wasn't mad, even Ozpin believed Jeremiah, and if Ozpin believed him, then he knew there was something there. But he saw the look on Ironwood's face, this wasn't what was supposed to happen. And when he saw that ship crash right above the Arena, he knew something had gone terribly wrong. Hence why they were now fighting an army of Grimm.

Also Qrow had stolen the jug of moonshine and had filled his flask with the concoction. Just because they were in battle doesn't mean he couldn't get a little drunk. Especially on that good ol mountain dew, WOOOOOO!

"Still though, how could this so called 'future' have been altered?" Qrow asked as Ironwood shook his head.

"I don't know, possibly a butterfly effect from us trying to change the future? Time is a strange thing." After all, when you had knowledge of the future, the one thing you did was try to change it.

Ironwood didn't think in a million years that he was screwed no matter what decision he made. If he brought his entire robot army here, they turned on him and they attacked civilians, ruining his reputation. If he sent them away, they came back under someone elses control and were now killing his own men, making it seem like Atlas technology had a mind of its own, a mind that didn't care for human life.

"What the hell does a butterfly have to do with this?" Qrow asked as he shot a Beowulf from behind.

"Just shut up and fight!" Ironwood was getting tired of talking to Qrow.

Even more Grimm were piling in, that event at the arena, in some ways it was even worse than what Ozpin and Glynda had described when they came back from the other world, how was that possible? In fact how could Cinder and her cohorts even change their plans if they didn…

If they didn't know what they were planning….

Wait, Did Cinder have a spy on the inside?

"Well, I'll take the half of the left, you take the half on the ri-" Qrow was cut off as he heard a scream.

" _ **AAAHHHHHH!"**_ Winter screamed as she brought down a giant knight sword on the Grimm.

She moved the summon from left to right cutting any and all Grimm in her path in mere seconds. Her rage was giving her great strength. And Qrow and Ironwood were just sitting back and watching it happen.

"GAH!" She smashed a Grimm's head into a concrete wall.

"Woah…" Qrow was kind of intimidated right now.

"What got her so pissed?" Suddenly Qrow was glad he didn't fight her earlier.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" Suddenly they saw multiple glyphs appear.

They looked up to notice that there seemed to be multiple giant knives appearing out of the sky and raining down on any Grimm that were foolish enough to get in her way.

"EAT THIS!" She said as she brought them all down at once.

" _ **SCREEEEEEEEE!"**_ The Grimm's screams echoed for miles.

And all Qrow and Ironwood could do was stand their with their thumbs up their asses because this was fucking crazy.

As soon as she finished Winter turned to Ironwood with rage in her eyes.

"WHERE IS JEM?" She asked as she needed to know if he was with Ironwood.

"H-He should still be at Beacon tow-" Suddenly she sped off with the help of her glyphs.

"Woah…" Ironwood was actually impressed with Winter's anger.

"Damn Jimmy…" Qrow had never seen Ice Queen THAT pissed off.

"I thought only you could piss her off so much…" Ironwood didn't know what Jeremiah did to piss her off.

But he honestly hoped they could work their issues out, he would hate to have to deal with a pissed off Winter under his command. That would turn out badly.

 **AT BEACON TOWER**

"Guys! Guys!" Jeremiah yelled as he ran into the tower.

"Damn, I can't believe it, why do I keep losing a shirt?" Jeremiah asked as his shirt had been damaged beyond repair, so his bare blood covered chest was out for all to see.

"Keep your voice down!" Ozpin said as he came into view.

"What are you guys doing down here?" He asked as he looked around to make sure Cinder wasn't around.

"You know why we're here." Ozpin said hoping Jeremiah would understand what they were doing.

"No I don't, what are you-" He was cut off as he felt a knife at his throat.

"Silly boy, you should pay more attention to your surroundings." Cinder said as Jeremiah got the feeling he was in trouble.

"Woah lady, I'm spoken for, so if you could give me a bit of space there, your boobs are kind of getting int o my BA-" He was cut off as Cinder pushed the knife deeper into his skin threatening to slit it.

"Do you really want to be a smart ass when I got a knife to your throat?" She growled at him as Pyrrha pointed her rifle at him.

"Well, I find a little humor kind of relieves tension from the situation thank you very much!" He wouldn't admit it, but Cinder was kind of hot when she was making demands.

But Winter was the woman for him, he preferred the frozen north to the warm south.

"I would suggest you let him go." Ozpin said as Cinder looked around.

"I see you moved the maiden." She said as they raised an eyebrow.

So she did know about that? How could she possibly know? Jeremiah was confused, there was no possible way she could have gotten a tip from any informant on this side of Remnant, so how could she possibly know the maiden was right below Beacon tower? Did she have more spy cameras? Or possibly just a really lucky guess? How did she know? It was confusing the shit out of Jeremiah.

"I don't know how you found out about this place, but you'll never find her." Ozpin said as he hid her in a place she would never find her.

"Oh, no need to worry about that Ozpin, I already got what I want." She said as she grabbed Jeremiah.

"WOAH! LADY! I'M SPOKEN FOR!" He said as she growled again.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" She bashed him over the head with the hilt of her dagger.

It disoriented him a bit, but not enough to knock him out. But one thing was for sure, he was still awake and alive. And now he was mad.

"Now that wasn't very nice!" He said as she rolled her eyes.

She stabbed him through the leg to keep him from moving too much.

"AGGGGH!" Okay, that hurt like hell.

"JEM!" Pyrrha said as she fired a few bullets at Cinder.

All of which were completely turned to ash.

"I have no use for you three, I will find the maiden, but for now…" She grabbed Jeremiah by the throat.

"I'm only here for him." She said as everyone looked confused.

"What do you want with me?" He asked as she was choking him, damn this woman was strong if she could hold him in the air by the throat, with one hand.

"I'm here to deliver you to a very important person." She said as Pyrrha and Jaune got chills down their spine.

"Salem?" He asked as her eyes narrowed.

"So you don't fear her? No, I'm not here to take you to Salem." She said as she threw him into the wall.

"If you're not here to take me to her? Then why are you here?" He asked, but then another question plagued his mind.

"Wait a minute, how do you even know who I am? And why do you want me?" Jem was finally starting to see there was more to this than he thought.

"You really want to know?" Cinder asked with a cruel smirk.

"Oh just tell me already, no need to show how evil you are by keeping me in suspense." He looked around for his weapon, but he noticed it was over in the middle of the floor.

He gave Pyrrha a look as she nodded and started to use her semblance to push It over to him.

"You can come out now." Cinder said as that momentarily distracted Pyrrha.

"Oh my sweet little wolf!" Jeremiahs, Jaunes, and Pyrrhas blood went cold in fear.

"No…NO…NO! YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Suddenly Jeremiah was scared to death as he saw someone he hoped he would never see again.

"It's okay my little wolf, Momma Tigerstripe is going to make everything all better!" She said as she walked over and mounted him and pushed him to the ground.

"NO! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT IT! I'M FAITHFUL!" He said as he tried to get away, but there was one problem.

You see, Tigerstripe's aura had also been unlocked, and there was a very big problem. She had already discovered her semblance, and her semblance.

CLACK CLACK CLACK

Was making Aura restraints, more specifically Chains.

"It's okay…I like it rough." She said showing off her new fangs and ears.

"PYRRHA! ANY TIME NOW WOULD BE GOOD!" He said as Pyrrha nodded and pushed Red Dawn towards him.

He grabbed the rifle and shifted it to its Revolver form as he pointed it at Tigerstripe's leg.

BANG!

"AH!" She cried out in pain as she lost control of her semblance and Jeremiah kicked her off of her and ran away.

"How the hell did you get here?!" He asked as he shifted Red Dawn back into rifle form as he pointed it at her.

"Ohhhhh….Blood…My blood…." Tigerstripe said as she tasted her own blood.

"So…..Kinky…" She said as Jaune suddenly spoke up.

"JUST ANSWER HIS QUESTION YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Jaune didn't like to use that language, but he just saw a crazy furry erotically lick her own blood, it was crazy.

"Oh, Jeremiah brought me here!" She said in a cheerful voice as she swooned over his face.

"I DID NOT!" He said as he looked at Ozpin.

"I swear to god I did not!" He said as Ozpin just gave him a weird look.

"Oh darling, you just didn't know, but don't you remember? That fight with the bear?" She asked as he looked at her.

"Wait, how did you-" He suddenly remembered something from that fight.

"Wait, you were the rustling in the bushes?" He asked as she nodded.

"Of course! I was keeping an eye on you! I didn't want any meany pants bears getting to my little wolf!" Even Cinder was kind of disturbed with how crazy Tigerstripe seemed to be.

"When you fired that bullet, and you disappeared into that portal, it was still open, I knew you wouldn't be safe without me, so I jumped in after you…however…" She said as she looked at Cinder.

"I was too early, somehow I ended up at a different time, and I met Ms. Fall here, I remember we met on that RWBY forum, and I knew who she was, and what she was going to do." Suddenly Jeremiah looked horrified.

"No…you…you didn't do this, you're not responsible for all of this?" He asked as he was hoping she wasn't that crazy.

"Oh but I did! Cinder promised me if I gave her all the information I had, she would deliver you to me! And she has! I know you want to be my little wolf!" She said as Jeremiah took a step back.

"I have no interest!" He said as she grinned.

"Then why…did you call yourself a 'Wolf of odin?' Surely you want me!" She said as Jeremiah was getting more and more disturbed by the second.

"I was trying to sound cool, doesn't mean I want to have weird sex with you!" He said as she gave him a psychotic grin.

"Oooohhh, I love it when you lie, it makes me…tingle." She said as she crossed her legs a bit.

"Sweet Jesus and Odin, whichever one of you is listening, please give me the strength to deal with this." He said as he didn't know which God to pray to.

"And now, we can consummate our love, and I can kill that White haired bit-" She was cut off by a shield being thrown at her skull.

She fell to the ground, Unconscious as a bump started to form on her head. Everyone turned to look at Pyrrha.

"What? She was crazy!" She said as that was disturbing even to her.

She may have been in love with Jaune, but she wasn't so in love with him that she would be a psychopath.

"Seems like you have a Yandere on your hands Mr. Cotton." Ozpin said as Jem looked at him.

"You know what a Yandere is?" He was honestly surprised.

"Young man, you don't run a school without hearing the slang words teenagers use." He said as Cinder just narrowed her eyes.

This was ridiculous the girl was useful to her, that was for sure, but having to listen to all of that drama was sickening. She couldn't believe what kind of crazy love sick puppy she had picked up all those months ago. But the girl was still useful, and Salem had taken a liking to her, so they kept her around, the weird thing was that Tyrian seemed to love her….it was really disturbing. He only started to like her even more ever since she showed off her surgically implanted tiger ears.

Tyrian loved a woman who would injure herself for cosmetic reasons.

"You three get out of here." Ozpin said as he stood in front of them.

"We can't just leave you beh-" Jem tried to speak as Ozpin smiled.

"This time it will be different, she doesn't have the full power of the maiden…and she never will." Ozpin said as Cinder glared.

"Do you really think I didn't prepare for this." She said as she formed a fireball in hand.

"Only one way to find out…GO!" Ozpin yelled as the three took off running.

Well, he did have that right. Ozpin would be fighting her and he could probably win this time. Especially since this time, Cinder didn't have the full power of the maiden.

As they took the elevator, Cinder glared at Ozpin.

"Just so you know, I'm still going to kill them." She said as Ozpin gripped his cane.

"I'd like to see you try." He said as she smirked.

 **OUTSIDE**

"Okay, we need to get out of here and regroup with the others." Jaune said as he summoned his locker.

"Wait…what are you doing?" Jem asked as he recognized this scene.

"What the? I didn't mean to do that…" He said as he accidentally hit the wrong button.

"No…." This wasn't some sort of final destination shit was it?

He recognized this scene very well, this was when Pyrrha went to sacrifice herself. But she promised she wouldn't do that. But then he looked at her. You could see that she was conflicted about leaving Ozpin behind, and she felt a need to go and help him.

"Pyrrha…." Jeremiah said as she looked back at the two.

"Jaune….Jem…" She needed to help Ozpin.

"Pyrrha! You know what happens to you if you go there, you can't go up there!" Jaune didn't want to relive that again.

"But Ozpin could be in trouble!" She couldn't just leave him to die.

"You heard what he said! She's only at half power, she won't be able to beat him!" Jaune tried to reason with her.

"What if he's wrong? What If she's too much even without the Maiden's power, what if-" Suddenly she was cut off by Jeremiah.

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU TWO!" He proceeded to shove both of them in the locker.

"WOW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Jaune yelled as Pyrrha's hand was now on his crotch, causing her to blush wildy as they were close together in the locker.

"I'm not watching this happen again, So bye!" He said as he put the launch codes on the locker.

"YOU CAN'T JUST GO AT HER ALONE! SHE'LL KILL YOU!" Pyrrha was worried for her friend.

"Oh? I'm not going after her! Are you nuts? I'll meet you down there, just get to safety!" He said as he entered the launch code.

"JEEEEEEEEMMMMM!" Jaune yelled as they were launched away.

"Well….at least I changed one thing…." He said as he looked around.

"And now I got to get out of here…" He said as he heard a voice.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you." He turned to See Cinder and Tigerstripe.

"WHAT?! You didn't kill Ozpin!" He yelled as Cinder smirked.

"Of course not! That's why we have Emerald down there!" Tigerstripe said as Jeremiah suddenly understood what was going on.

"Y-You mean to tell me, he's just fighting an illusion?" He asked as Cinder nodded.

"Bullshit, Oz wouldn't fall for that!" There was no way someone like Oz would fall for a cheap trick.

"Oh? But he already did! He saw Yang attack Mercury back in Volume 3, and he did nothing about it, did you really think Ozpin was immune to illusions? All we need to do is distract him long enough, so we could get you!" Cinder said as Jem had a bad feeling.

"Wait, you're not interested in Pyrrha?" He didn't understand.

"No, the girl is useless to me, you however, I still have a promise to make." Cinder said as she cracked her knuckles and got her bow and arrow out.

"Oh….Son of a…..Bitch."


	66. What did you change?

**Okay, so three chapters in one day. I guess I'll be able to take a break for a day before I publish the next chapter, overall, Its been a good day.**

* * *

"SHIT!" Jeremiah was currently running away as Cinder was firing arrows at him, and Tigerstripe was trying to stop her.

"Don't hurt him! That's my job!" Tigerstripe licked her lips at what she was going to do to him when she got him all alone.

She would strip him down to absolutely nothing, and then get to work making him hers, the first thing she would do was get that pair of wolf ears she had in her bad, and attach them to his skull. And then she had a very cute leash for him. Hmm, was it really a wolf she wanted? Or a dog? She didn't know, she would decide later.

"Will you just let me work?" Cinder was annoyed with this girl.

She had seen people have crushes on other people, but this was ridiculous? Granted, Tyrian had a huge crush on Tigerstripe, but that was because they were two psychos.

"Isn't this romantic my little pup? She's just like Cupid!" Tigerstripe fawned over the whole situation.

"Pretty sure Cupid didn't try and shoot me in the leg!" Jem couldn't believe he was dodging some of these.

"I figured I would go easy on you." After all, Cinder could kill him easily if he wanted.

"Yeah, well I won't!" He said as he shifted his gun into rifle form.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

He fired off four shots in succession. Unforturnately however, they were only regular bullets, and Cinder instantly deflected them.

"Unless those are dust bullets, I don't suppose you will actually harm me." Cinder smirked as Jeremiah reached into his bag.

Only to realize he didn't have his bag.

"Where is it?!" He asked as he thought back.

"I had it with…oh son of a bitch." He knew where it was.

 **WITH ROMAN AND NEO**

" _Big Brother left his stuff here!"_ Neo said as Roman gave her a funny look.

"You realize you don't have to call him that right? We're not on Earth anymore." He said as Neo pouted.

" _Sorry, force of habit, but he still left his stuff here."_ She said as she found a lot of dust bullets.

"Well I'm sure he won't need them, after all, he only went to get his friends." Roman patted her on the head.

"I'm sure he's not in any real danger."

 **BACK AT BEACON**

"I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS!" Jeremiah said as he was currently hiding behind a stone pillar.

"You know, running and hiding won't help you." Cinder said as Jeremiah noticed that Tigerstripe wasn't there.

"Wait, where did she-" Suddenly he was tackled from behind.

"MINE!" She said as she attempted to cut his pants off with a knife.

"BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" He said as he pulled away.

RRIIIIPPPP

Only for one pant leg to come off, great, now he was shirtless, and he looked like a homeless stripper.

"Oooohhhh…" Tigerstripe rubbed the pant leg against her face.

"I wish I had gone with Winter…" Jeremiah really wished he didn't stay in Vale.

Because this was ridiculous. On one hand he had a psychopath hell bent on world domination, and on the other hand he had his crazy ex girlfriend who seemed to have developed a pain and blood fetish. He must have done something bad in a previous life for this to happen to him, because he tried to be a good person.

"MORE!" She yelled as she held up the knife.

"STAY AWAY!" He said as stabbed her in the stomach.

Which only got a moan out of her as she brought herself closer.

"I know something better you could stab me with…" She smiled a psychopathic smile as Jeremiah wanted to scream like a little girl.

The scary part was that she didn't even seem to care there was a knife in her belly.

"BY ODIN'S BEARD!" He pulled out as he continued to run.

"Oohhhh." The wound on Tigerstripe's abdomen disappeared.

Another unforturnate side effect, her Aura also had tremendous healing capabilities, so this wound was nothing to her. However, it did nothing to replace the blood she lost, so she felt woozy as she passed out on the ground.

"Oh thank God." He said as he saw Tigerstripe fall to the ground.

"Good one less thing to worry about." He said as Cinder made a 'Tsk Tsk' noise.

"Hardly a way to treat your loved ones now isn't it?" She said as she nocked another arrow.

"I don't love her!" He said as he jumped behind a broken wall.

"Well she thinks you do." Cinder was just being a dick now.

"SHE'S CRAZY!" Jem really hated his life right now.

Not only did he fail at saving the world, nearly die in a plane crash, nearly die by being digested by a Grimm, find out his crazy ex was here, but now he had to deal with Cinder fall. Where the hell was Ozpin when you needed him?! Seriously, couldn't he pull a Gandalf and show up out of nowhere just in time to save Bilbo and the dwarves from the trolls? Because he could use a moment like that right now, because if not, he would end up being a furry Bondage slave to his ex girlfriend, and no way was he going to let that happen!

" _Lick my feet Little wolf!"_ He shivered in disgust at the possibilities.

He was okay with people having fetishes, but the last thing he wanted was to end up on all fours barking like a dog with a pair of wolf ears and one of those butt plug false tails. He was not into that, and no one was going to force him to be into it.

"If you really didn't love her, why not report her? Obviously stalking is a serious crime in your world." Cinder said as Jeremiah tried to dodge an arrow, but it made its way into his leg.

"AHHHH!" He screamed as he looked at it.

Just in time for Cinder to get another arrow in his other leg.

"AAHHHH." He pointed at one.

"AHHHH." He pointed at the other.

"DAMN IT JIM CARREY!" He yelled as he hated the fact that this was a lot less funny when it actually happened to you.

"Oh don't be such a baby." Cinder said as she walked over and pinned him against the wall.

"Hmm, you're not so bad on the eyes you know." She licked her lips as Jeremiah started sweating as she gripped his throat.

"Shame you're on the wrong side." She said as she prepared to strike his heart.

"No thanks, I'm spoken for, and even then I would never join you!" He said as he was pulling an arrow out of his leg.

"Oh? Don't you see? Destiny found a way." She said as she knew just the way to add insult to injury.

"I don't believe in Destiny." He said as he grunted in pain at the arrow slowly sliding out.

"And why not? Don't you see? No matter what you did, it wasn't enough. You tried to save the world, but you only made it worse." Cinder was gripping his throat so tight he couldn't breath.

"The gods sent your former lover here, why would they do that? Unless things were pre determined, and that this was what was always supposed to happen, despite your best efforts, Death and Destruction are as ever prevalent as they ever were, you can't change that, I can't change that, it is your fate that you're to fail. And I will succeed." She said as she tempted to kill him.

But no, she saw Tigerstripe, living with her was a much more sadistic punishment then she could ever give to him.

"Hggh, Grrgghh…" He said as She smirked.

"Oh? Do you still have something to say?" She said as she loosened her grip on his throat.

"You know, you used to be such a nice girl…." Okay, that was confusing, what was he talking about?

Only to feel a sharp stabbing pain in her knee.

"BUT THEN YOU TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!" He yelled as he started to run away.

"You bastard…." She was pissed off.

She pulled the arrow out of her knee, the wound closing up almost instantly due to the power flowing through her. She nocked another arrow as she wasn't going to let him get away this time. She was too angry, not because he told an overused joke, but because he had stabbed her with her own weapon.

"Mark…" She said as she saw him running in a zig zag.

"Screw that! I'm not ending up like Rickon Stark!" He said as he wasn't going to run in a straight line.

"Idiot." She said as the handy thing about Aura is that you could control your flight pattern.

She let loose the arrow, at the last second, Jeremiah turned to try and cut the arrow in half, but there was one very important detail he forgot. Cinder could dematerialize her arrows and reform them in a completely different area. So as soon as he went to deflect the arrow, it dematerailzied and ended up flying straight into his stomach.

"URK!" He yelled as that one hurt like hell.

"Gah." He said as Cinder walked over to him.

"I will admit, you're surprinsingly fun…" She had a sadistic smirk on her face as she hadn't had this much fun with a playtoy in a long time.

"Is there any good in your body?" He said as he was backing away from this woman.

"Hmm, that's a good question, possibly a long time ago." She said as she prepared another arrow.

"Wait, I thought the plan was to keep me alive?" He asked as she seemed to be aiming for his chest.

"Oh it is, but not in one piece." Great, he looked around weighing his options.

He was losing blood fast, he was feeling very woozy. And he knew that if things kept going like this, he would be on all fours with Tigerstripe making him her bitch. And there was no way he was going to let that happen. So he weighed his options.

Either try and Tomahawk the hell out of Cinder, or the least comfortable option…which would be a very stupid plan.

He was close to the cliff edge of Beacon Tower, now he could jump, but there was no way he could survive. The only possible way he could possibly survive the fall would be by some kind of miracle. And the odds of that happening now was very slim.

"Dear me, I hope thinking doesn't hurt you too much." She said as she saw him looking around.

"Before you take me away, tell me one thing." He said as she looked at him.

"Make it quick." She was in no mood for games.

" _What if all the plans you made…..were not worth the price they paid? Even with the lives you stole…still no closer to your goal?"_ He sang lightly as Cinder hesistated.

For some reason, she felt like she had heard this before. But where? And why did it get her thinking? She shook her head, it was just an attempt to distract her, she knew her purpose, and she wasn't going to let some redneck Viking wannabe take that away.

Jeremiah smirked as he looked down the tower to see a white blur heading towards him.

"Are you done?" Cinder held her bow string taut.

"Just one more thing." He smirked as she sighed.

"What now?" She was standing over him with her bow drawn.

"Standing over someone with a short skirt like that is giving me a show." He said as she glared.

"YOU INSOLENT LITTLE-" He kicked her in the knee as he rolled over the edge.

"WOOOOOOOO HO HO HO HOOOEY!" He fell down.

"WHAT?!" Cinder couldn't believe he just did that.

 **RUNNING UP THE TOWER  
**

Winter's main priority was getting to the top of the tower to get Jeremiah, her original plan was still to kiss him and then kill him. She just hoped she could get to him in time. After all, he could be fighting Cinder for all she knew! And she didn't want that to happen.

"WINNNNNYYYYYY!" She heard a voice yelling as she saw Jeremiah.

Just as he fell past her.

"AAAHHHHHHH" Jeremiah really didn't think this through.

"OH NO!" Winter turned around and started running back.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Jeremiah didn't know why he thought this was a bright idea.

"I GOT YOU!" Winter yelled as she caught him right before he hit the ground.

"My hero!" He fawned over her as she glared at him.

"You…YOU-" He saw the hand coming.

"Oh shit…" And then it hit.

OOOOOWWWNNNNNNEED

"Oooooowwwww." He said as he now had a bruise forming on his face.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! TAKING ON THAT GRIMM?! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?! I SAW YOU FALL INTO ITS MOUTH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" She cried out a little as Jeremiah realized his bad ass stunt must have scared Winter to Death.

"Winny, I'm-" He was cut off by Winter kissing him.

" _Oh wow…Tongue."_ He thought as he kissed back.

"But that…was for killing it." She said as she held her forehead against his forehead, even though he was covered in blood, she didn't' care.

"Apology accepted." She was certain that was what he was going to say next.

"Uh yeah, that too, but…I'm also losing a ton of blood." He pointed to the arrow on his body.

"Oh..Oh no!" She said as she summoned another Glyph.

"Uh, what are you doing?" He asked as he saw the determined look on her face.

"You know that dinosaur movie you like?" She asked as Jeremiah nodded.

"Jurassic Park? Yeah what about it?" He asked as he didn't know what she was doing.

"Remember Sam Jackson's line?" He nodded as he suddenly knew what was going on.

"Hold onto your butts." Winter said as she kneeled.

AND ZOOOOOOOMMMM!

"OOOOHHHH SHITTTT!" Jeremiah passed out from the speed and loss of blood.

Surprisignly he could hear the voices from his unconscious state.

" _Get him on the gurney!"_

" _Is he going to be alright?"_

" _HE NEEDS A TRANSFUSION!"_

" _Anyone here A+?"_

" _I am, go on, I volunteer."_

" _Where are the others?"_

" _They got out fine…Yang…Yang's arm is still attached, but its going to require months of therapy."_

" _And what of Pyrrha?"_

" _She's alive…but…they ran into trouble, she won't be walking any time soon."_

" _But we're all alive?"_

" _Yeah, if not a little worse for wear."_

" _When will he wake up?"_

" _Probably not for another day or two."_

" _Who are you?"_

" _IS HE OKAY?!_

" _He's fine kid."_

" _Did you hear? The faunus are talking about him."_

" _What do they say?"_

" _Good things….apparently he made an impact on them."_

" _Heh, shows how far a little kindness can go."_


	67. That Escalated Quickly

**Okay, so here we go, another chapter out. I waited a day to publish this so I could do some editing.**

* * *

 **With Cinder**

"Aren't you mad?" Mercury asked as their plans pretty much got shot to shit.

"No." She said as they got on a transport ship out of Beacon.

"But they moved her, wasn't she the whole reason we were here?" Emerald asked as they were referring to the maiden.

"Do you really think I don't know where they hid her?" Cinder asked as the two looked surprised.

"Wait, you know?" Okay this wasn't making any sense.

"You don't really think we were alone in this do you?" Salem had moved her plans forward.

As it turns out, having connections among the higher ups and the white fang, and having her own inner circle was useful for one thing, when you received information about the fall of Beacon before it had even happened, and how the headmasters knew your plans, you switched it around. Beacon was about causing fear and distrust amongst the people, and they did. After all, who wouldn't be afraid after Atlas robots went rogue and killed their own soldiers?

But there was one thing they still needed to do, and that was to retrieve the maiden.

Ozpin and his group may have think they had been sneaky and secretive, but If they truly though she didn't have any spies, then he was an arrogant fool.

"So where is she? Haven?" Mercury asked as Cinder smirked.

"Oh no, that fool took her to someplace where she would be defenseless, because he was so sure we would never find her." Cinder walked into the council as Salem spoke up.

"Are you ready to leave?" She asked as the group nodded.

"Where are we going?" Emerald wasn't sure about this.

"Well, you remember our crazy little psychotic pet right?" Cinder asked as they both nodded.

"Turns out Ozpin thought moving the Maiden to her home world would keep her out of our reach." She said as she smirked.

It paid to have a few professors in the school who were spies for Salem, not either Ozpin suspected them, after all, they weren't one of the more important professors like Oobleck or Port, so they were paid no mind, who would have thought that something as simple as setting a spy up as a professor would actually work?

Granted, who would have thought that her spy would find them transporting the maiden under the guise of dust crystals, despite the fact that dust crystals didn't get shipped until later that week. After that, it was a matter of tracking the culprits.

But that was when it happened, a day after Tigerstripe showed up, They saw Ozpin, Ironwood, and Goodwitch disappear in a flash of light, and then ten minutes later, they were back. Salem was furious when she got the news, but when she remembered what had happened with Tiger Stripe, she knew where the maiden was…

And now…she had the means to get her.

Salem threw a bag full of dust crystals.

"Be careful with those, one will lead you to that world, but you can't let any of them fall into the wrong hands." Salem honestly couldn't believe it.

She may have been old and had seen many crazy impossible things, but an entirely different world? One without aura? One without dust? One without huntsman? It seemed ripe for conquest, but she had no interest in some other planet, all that mattered now was retrieving the Fall Maiden's power.

After all, Beacon may have been about sewing the seeds of distrust, but there was also no doubt that they needed a Maiden if they wanted to continue their plans.

"How are we going to find our way around?" Emerald had never been there before.

"Simple, Tigerstripe!" Salem called out as the injured furry came out of nowhere.

"Yes Mistress?" She said as Salem looked over her.

"You will act as a guide for Cinder and her team." She ordered as Tigerstripe nodded but looked confused.

"How will we find her?" Tigerstripe asked as a man in the shadows spoke up.

"Just follow the trail of residual Aura, on a planet where no human being has Aura, you will find that it will be much easier to find the person who does." Mercury was a little skeptical.

"Sounds kind of farfetched." He said as Cinder rolled her eyes.

"More farfetched than another world?" She asked as Mercury shrugged.

"Still though, how do we even find her? What do we have an Aura detector?" He asked as Salem threw another Crystal.

"You…do realize our scrolls can do that right?" Emerald asked as she gave him a look.

"Wait, I thought that was for keeping track of Aura?" Could they use it for that too?

"With a little bit of tweaking to your scroll, you can modify it to track Aura." The man in the shadows said.

"Wait..so we're relying on a phone app here? Seriously?" Was it REALLY that simple? If so, why didn't they just do that earlier?

Oh wait, that's right, Ozpin had her heavily guarded under a school to keep her from being noticed.

"I don't know, this whole plan seems kind of half baked, sounds like something an author puts in at the last minute to try and justify a huge plot point he missed explaining earlier in the story and is now just trying to throw shit together." Mercury was just being honest.

"Just go, kill the maiden, and then get back here." Salem said as Cinder gripped the Crystal.

"Well…here goes nothing…" She said as she threw it to the ground.

BOOOOOMMM

Suddenly, all three were gone, and in their place was a portal that was slowly closing.

"So how long you think they'll be there, a week?" The man in the shadows said.

"Less, I doubt they will run into any resistance along the way." Salem just hoped it wouldn't take too long.

 **ON EARTH**

"HEY STOP EATING MY JERKY!" Cristofer yelled as Blaze was currently sharing his food with Ms. Penny in the back seat.

"This is my bag! Yours is up there!" Blaze pointed out as they got two bags of jerky at the last stop.

"No, you ate that bag too! So that's my bag!" Cristofer couldn't believe that his food was being eaten by a hungry man and his pet tiger.

Meanwhile on the side of the road, Emerald and Cinder appeared, they took a quick look around at their surroundings.

"Woah, its so green." Emerald had never seen a forest this thick before.

"Wait, where is Mercury?" She asked as she heard a noise.

THUNK!

"AHHHHHH!" She heard Mercury scream as he crashed into the ground.

She looked over to see a car driving away with some pissed off Mexican punching a guy In the back seat with….was that a fucking tiger? No, Emerald must have been seeing things. There was no way they had seen that.

"Owwwwww." Mercury was laying down on the ground.

"Not even here five minutes, and Mercury gets hit by a car." Emerald said to herself as this was actually kind of funny.

"So which way are we going?" Cinder asked as Emerald got out her scroll.

"Well….this app works, that's for sure, there's only one problem…" She said as she showed it to Cinder.

"The signal is about a thousand miles away." She said as it was pointing to one specific location.

"Well then, hang on." She said as she went to the side of the road.

And then stuck her leg out onto the road.

"What are you doing?" Mercury asked as he hobbled over.

"What? You don't think any man driving wouldn't stop to look at me?" She said as he rolled his eyes.

"Cinder, this isn't a mo-" Suddenly they heard a nosie.

HOOOONNNK! HOOOONNNKKKK!

"Well I'll be damned."

They saw a Volkswagen bus with peace symbols all over it driving their way….it pissed Cinder off seeing so many peace symbols.

"Heeeeyyyy Gurrrrlllll…" A long haired hippie said as he popped his head out the window.

"Where you heading?" He asked as she smiled.

"East." She said as the hippie looked her up and down.

"Far out! Me too! Get in!" He said as they all got in.

Only to immediately be hit with the smell of pot and bad decisions.

"Oh god, this smells…" Emerald said as Mercury narrowed his eyes.

"That's the smell of rebellion Sister!" He said as he started driving.

"How the hell is pot the smell of rebellion?" She didn't know what was wrong with this nut case.

"HEY! WAIT FOR ME!" Tigerstripe had finally appeared, and now she was running after the van.

 **BACK IN REMNANT**

"UUuuuuuhhh." Jem was trying to open his eyes, but all he could get was a few flutters.

"Jem! Are you awake?!" He heard a voice say as he tried to open his eyes.

"Winny?" He asked as he suddenly felt a hug.

"DADDY!" He heard a voice say as a pair of small arms wrapped around his neck.

"WAIT WHAT?!" He yelled as he sat right up.

He was wide awake now, at first he thought he was having some sort of dream. You know, like those dreams you have where you marry your girlfriend and you have a kid who calls you Daddy. I mean, it had to be one of those…right?

Only it wasn't. Winter was sitting right by his hospital bed with a relieved look on her face, but he noticed there was a little lion tail sticking out on the bed, and he felt a pair of arms around him.

"Nala?" He asked as she hugged him tighter.

"Daddy!" She said as Winter just looked at the scene with amusement.

"Wait, what happened? Where am I? Whats going on?" Why was Nala calling him Daddy?

"You're my daddy now!" She said as he looked at Winter.

"Uh, Winny, explain? Please?" He honestly was confused as hell.

"Well, she showed up earlier looking for you, she's hardly left your bed side this whole time. She kept saying that you were her 'Daddy' now." Winter was confused as hell, when did Jeremiah meet that girl.

"He saved me! And he promised he would come back! And he did!" Nala said as she was sure that was what fathers did.

And since she had no where else to go, she decided to make Jeremiah her unofficial father.

"Uh….what….I….oh….." Jeremiah's brain was not taking this well.

"Uhm, Nala, Sweetie, why don't you go and get something to eat for your 'Daddy.'" Winter had to admit, it was kind of funny to watch.

It also helped that Nala was adorable. But she might have developed some kind of weird Savior complex.

"Okay!" She was going to go and get some meat out of the mess hall.

She ran off as quick as a predator after its prey. In this case, the prey was steak…huh…maybe they were more alike than Winter thought.

"Winter, I swear to god! I did not cheat on you with anyone!" He said as she held up a hand.

"Jem, I'm not stupid, there is no way you could have cheated on me with a faunus, and have a kid who is already around five years old, relax, I know you're innocent." She said as she leaned down close.

"But if you ever do cheat…" She said with a playful glare.

Playful enough to let him know she was teasing, but dangerous to let him know his dick would be in danger.

"Oh yeah! No problem snuggly bunny!" He said as she groaned.

"You know I hate that nickname." She said as he teased.

"I know." He said as he suddenly heard a noise.

"JERRY!" Nora yelled as the rest of the group ran in.

"Thank Oum! You're awake!" Ruby said as the rest of the group filed in.

Well, except for Yang and Pyrrha, they were in the hall.

"Oof! Hey guys." He said as Nora gave him a hug.

"What did I miss?" He asked as he looked around.

"Well…." Ruby looked into the hall.

"Come on guys…" Ruby said as the two last figured in the hall came in.

Well, one walked in, the other one rolled in. Yang's arm was in a cast, he sighed in relief, so she didn't lose an arm, that was good, but why was Pyrrha in a wheelchair?

"What happened?" He asked the two as Yang sighed.

"Well, we didn't run into Blake's crazy Ex, but during a fight my arm was crushed underneath some of the falling rubble….My arm is broke in three different places, and that's not even counting the nerve damage." She was going to be out of commission for a while.

"When we got out of the locker, we ended up running into a trap full of Grimm, some of them were Goliaths, and we were already almost out of Aura, so I didn't get out unscathed." Pyrrha said as Jeremiah felt guilty.

"Oh don't worry, Jem, I will still be able to walk….but…." She looked down at her legs.

"I will need some time." Unforturnately she was in the exact same position as Yang.

Her legs while she could still feel them, were not in the best condition, neither was her spine, and she needed time to heal. Aura could only do so much. So it was going to be a long and painful filled therapy season.

"Daddy! I got us steak!" Nala said as she jumped on the bed.

"Oof!" He said as Nala had two rare steaks.

"Huh…wow…she actually kind of does know me…" Funny, she brought him a rare steak, just the way he liked it.

"DADDY?!" The two teams yelled out as they heard a voice from the door.

"Heh, how about that kid?" Qrow said as he showed up at the door.

"Uncle Qrow!" Ruby and Yang said at the same time.

"I'm gone for five minutes, and you're a father." Qrow was laughing his ass off, sucked to be Jeremiah.

"Shut up Qrow." Jeremiah didn't appreciate the teasing.

"Still though, I had no idea you had adopted someone…" Nora couldn't believe Jerry would do that.

"Uh, she technically adopted me." Jeremiah said as Nala gave him a hug.

"YEPPERS!" She said as she was hugging the life out of his neck.

"HURG GER! NALA! AIR!" He said as he had never been choked that hard in his life.

"Oopsie, sorry." She said as she started to tear into her piece of meat.

"Huh, are you sure you're not related?" Qrow asked as she saw tear into their steaks like rabid beasts.

"Hey, I just woke up, I'm hungry." Jeremiah said as Nala was sitting between his legs biting into the steak like a carnivorous beast.

"Mr. Cotton….." Ironwood said as he walked into the room.

"General Ironwood…" He said as he really didn't want to hear a lecture.

"It's good to see you've recovered." He saw the bandages covering Jeremiah.

"Yeah, I'm doing just fine." He honestly didn't know what to say.

"What happened up there? I would hate to seem impolite, but the intel you gave us was nothing like you said." Ironwood said as Jeremiah sighed.

"Well…you're not going to believe this but…my crazy ex girlfriend jumped into the portal after me, ended up arriving earlier than I did by some freak accident, she then proceeded to give all the information I knew to Salem, and…hang on…" He covered Nala's ears.

"And then she proceeded to make a bargain with her so that's he could have me as her furry sex toy." Jem said as everyone just gave him a weird look.

"No freaking way." Blake honestly thought that was ridiculous.

"I'm serious." He had never been more serious in his life.

"This sounds like the plot of a bad fan fic." Blake knew because she had written a ton of it…granted it was mostly erotic fanficton, but you get the point.

"Well it happened!" He said as Nala looked up.

"Whats a furry?" She asked as Jeremiah shushed her.

"You don't need to know until you're 30." He said as Qrow chuckled.

"Oh look at that, already acting like a father." He said as Jeremiah glared.

"Shut up Qrow." He said as Nala beamed.

"yay!" She was glad her unofficial adopted father was accepting her.

"What, eh…oh what the hell." He might as well return the hug.

"There is…one more thing." Ironwood said as he held a file.

"What?" Jeremiah asked as Ironwood looked…shocked?

"We had to give you a blood transfusion from a willing donor." Ironwood said as he was looking over the medical records.

"Yeah, and I thank you for that, and thanks to the guy who gave me the blood." He said as Ironwood looked even more nervous.

"Well, that's the thing, when we went to test your blood to make sure it was compatible, we found something unusual." Ironwood couldn't believe this was happening.

"What? Am I sick?" He was really hoping he didn't have a disease or something.

"No…No you're not." Ironwood didn't know how to tell him.

"But the two blood types matched…a little too much." Okay, that didn't seem very unusual.

"What are you talking about Jimmy?" Qrow said as he knew something was up when Ironwood seemed confused.

"They matched because…I don't know how to explain it. This doesn't seem possible. In fact…it shouldn't be possible." Ironwood said as he looked over everyone, and then back at Qrow.

"Qrow….the boy is your son."


	68. How it All Happened, I'm Sorry Jesus

**Well, only one thing to say about this chapter, I don't know whether to laugh, or hate myself for writing this.**

 **Honestly maybe both.**

 **Anyways, this chapter was written as an explanation, and honestly, I also was drinking while watching Hot Tub Time Machine, so you'll be able to catch the reference.**

 **I do believe chapter 67 was my absolute favorite, just because the reactions were the best.**

 **Weren't expecting that were you?**

* * *

"…WHAT?!" Yang yelled out not belieiving what she heard.

"W-W-What? Uncle Qrow is….A DAD?!" Ruby didn't think she heard that right.

"I HAVE A GRANDPA TOO!" Nala got super excited. Now she had a Daddy and a Granddaddy! This was a good day.

"T-That…." Weiss was leaning against a wall.

"No freaking way." Jaune and Pyrrha's minds were swirling with possibilities.

"…" Nora looked at Qrow.

And then back To jem.

At Qrow.

Back to Jem.

Wait…there was a…slight resemblance, just cut Jeremiah's beard to resemble more stubble and give him more hair, and…HOLY SHIT! THEY WEREN'T KIDDING! This was happening! This wasn't some kind of joke! HE WAS ACTUALLY HIS SON?!

"My..Brain…" Ren couldn't think of how this could happen.

"Uh….W-Winter?" Jem was shocked, but Winter had froze and hadn't moved for the past five minutes.

"….." Her eyes were wide, he poked her in the face, she wasn't moving.

"I think you broke Winter General." Jem had never seen her this still or his silent for this long.

"Uh…Jimmy, you're fucking with me right? Like the time you told me my parents were dead?" He asked as he had his flask at the ready for consumption.

"I wasn't joking about that Qrow, your parents were dead, and I don't know how, but he is your son! I even ran a DNA test, there's no doubt about it." He said as he could not believe it.

This didn't make any sense! How could Qrow be his father? He had never been to Earth! Course then Yang spoke up.

"You know…it actually kind of makes sense." Yang said as she turned to both of them.

"The bad jokes…" Both took offense to that.

"The perverted nature…" Okay, that one was slightly true.

"The drinking!" Okay, that was definitely true.

"For Oum's sake! It's like it was staring us in the face this whole time!" All of a sudden, all the pieces started to come together.

But that still didn't answer the most important question, HOW IN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!

"It's just…how does this happen?" Blake asked as she still couldn't believe.

"Well…you see Blake…." Qrow began.

"When a mommy and daddy really love each other…" Jem started to be a smart ass before he got slapped by Weiss.

"AHHH!" He let out the scream Beavis had when he took a pencil to the eye.

"This is serious!" Weiss knew Winter would have slapped him, but she was currently out of her mind.

Winter looked like she had been turn to stone by a Medusa.

"WAIT!" Ruby all of a sudden got her smile.

"YANG! WE HAVE A COUSIN!" She said as she hugged Jeremiah.

"HURG EH!" What was with today and him being hugged by overexcited girls.

"I have a Grandpa!" Nala yelled as she tackled Qrow.

"HURG EH!" Great, now they were starting to mirror each other right now.

Wow, the similarities were starting to become really obvious.

"That still doesn't explain one simple fact…" Ironwood was irritated.

"HOW?!" He honestly wanted to know.

"I don't know Jimmy! I swear to Oum! I've never been to Earth!" Qrow said as he had never been to Earth in his life.

"Well obviously you have Qrow!" Goodwitch walked in as she couldn't believe it.

When Ironwood told her, she thought he was joking around, until she noticed that he had the DNA results with him, and since then she couldn't deny it. Without a doubt, Jem was Qrow's son, how that was possible, she did not know. But based on what she knew about Jeremiah and what she knew about Qrow. One thing was for certain.

Alcohol was involved.

"Look Qrow, surely you have to remember, THINK!" Ozpin walked into the room just as this was going on.

"What did I miss?" He asked as Qrow spoke up.

"Uhm, Apparently Jeremiah is my son…" Qrow said as Ozpin raised an eyebrow.

He looked at Jem, and then back to Qrow.

"Hmm, there is a resemblance." He said as Qrow thought.

"When could this have happened?" He said to himself.

"Well, basically you slept with my mom Davina Dangerous the Dwarf." Suddenly Ironwood's head whipped back.

"WAIT! Could you repeat that?" He said hoping he had misheard that.

"Yeah…my mom was a…midget stripper." He said as Ironwood's face was priceless.

He walked out of the room with his head down. The reason being? He didn't want the entire room to see him piss himself laughing.

"Wait…Midget….Stripper.." Qrow suddenly had a flashback.

A flashback of a memory he didn't even know he had.

 _FLASH BACK_

" _Come on Tai! Don't be a pussy!" Qrow said as he was holding a bottle of booze as Taiyang was holding a dust cannon._

" _Dude, are you sure about this?" Tai was slightly drunk, so he didn't know what he was doing._

" _Relax dude! This dust concoction should be harmless! It will feel like I got hit by a cloud!" Qrow was certain nothing bad would happen._

" _Okay Broseph!" Tai said as he pointed the makeshift dust cannon at him._

 _Ruby had just been born, but Summer had to stay with Ruby at the hospital, and Taiyang and Qrow got sent back home, bored out of their minds, and feeling the need to celebrate, they decided to crack open a ton of beer and whiskey and party all night,_

" _Come on! Hit me! I'm ready!" Qrow said as he was too drunk to care._

" _Ready?" Tai said as he was having trouble positioning the cannon._

" _Ready!" Qrow yelled as Taiyang pulled the trigger._

 _BOOM_

 _The blast rocketed forward at high speeds as it enveloped Qrow, who was swept off into the air._

" _OOOOHHHH SHHHHHIIITTT!" He yelled as Taiyang was freaking out._

" _Oh shit! I loaded in an extra crystal!" He said as he messed with the original dust mixture in the cannon by accident._

" _QRRROOOOW!" He stumbled away going to look for his friend._

 _ **MEANWHILE WITH QROW**_

" _Holy shit! That was awesome!" Qrow said as he had no idea where he had landed._

" _I should probably go back now though, Tai is probably wo-" Suddenly he was cut off by a giant neon sign._

" _ **Achmed's**_ _ **Whorehouse! You pay! We lay!"**_ _Was what the slogan for the strip club said as Qrow looked back at where he came from, and then back at the sign._

" _Oh fuck it! I haven't gotten laid in a long time! WOO HOO! TITS!" He yelled as he ran into the strip club._

 _ **INTERRUPTION**_

"OH YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?!" Jeremiah yelled as he couldn't believe he had to hear the story of his conception.

And the sad part was when his parents lied and told him he was conceived because his dad was a stripper, he was depressed about that. But now he was hearing the true story, and he was still the result of drunk stripper sex!

"Shut up! I'm trying to remember." Qrow yelled as Nala had her ears covered.

Mostly because her Daddy didn't want her to hear this story.

"Nala, why don't you go play outside, Daddy has some issues he needs to work out." Jeremiah couldn't believe he had to tell his 'Daughter' that.

"Okay! Bye Grandpa!" Now that freaked the hell out of Qrow.

" _WOO HOO! NAKED CHICKS! YEEEAAAHH!" Qrow had busted the ATM machine outside with his sword so that he could get the cash he needed._

 _For some reason, this city's lien came on some kind of weird paper fabric, and it had the face of an old guy in a powdered wig on it. He just assumed it was some weird local currency or something. Either way, he was currently spending more money on Lap dances than Donald Trump did on Bricks._

" _I LOVE TITTY BARS!" He screamed in his head as one lady looked sick._

" _Ooooh, sorry…I think…." She made a weird face as she ran off to throw up._

 _Apparently the morning sickness was too much._

" _WHAT?! HEY WHAT DID I DO?!" He yelled as he heard a squeaky voice._

" _Don't worry baby! I can take over." He felt a strange lump in his lap._

" _WOAH! TINY!" He said as he noticed the woman now currently gyrating on his crotch was a midget._

 _This said stripper hated the fact that she was a midget._

 _"You like this baby?" She said as her legs couldn't even hit the ground as she was grinding against him._

 _"Damn, do you think if I wanted a blowjob, all I would have to say would be 'Look up?" Qrow didn't even care that he sounded like a frat boy douchebag right now._

 _"Shut up..." That was embarassing._

 _"Oh! When you have sex standing up, do you have to be on a chair?" Now that really pissed her off._

" _Look, do you want a blowjob or not! Because if you keep making jokes, I'll call big black to go ape shit on your ass! So what will it be, BLOWJOB OR GETTING YOU ASS KICKED BY BIG BLACK!" She said angrily._

 _Qrow was drunk, so he couldn't fight well at the moment, he saw the guy who he assumed was Big Black._

 _He was a seven foot tall former professional wrestler who was injured and couldn't continue his career, but he only earned the name Big Black after he went to prison and ended up in the prison showers._

 _Needless to say, none of the other inmates wanted to be in the stalls with him because they were afraid of the giant python between his legs._

 _Anyways, Big Black got out of prison on good behavior, and now worked as a bouncer and turned his life around. But one thing was for sure._

 _YOU DID NOT WANT TO PISS HIM OFF._

" _Well uh, Blowjob sounds nice." Qrow said as he carried her to the back._

"OH COME ON! WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT PART!" Yang and Ruby had run out of the room as Weiss was trying not to throw up in the corner.

"Shut up and learn your history boy!" Qrow was still trying to remember the whole story.

 _Ten minutes later_

" _THIS IS FUN!" Qrow said as all you could see were two lumps underneath bed sheet covers._

" _OW! No spanking!" The midget stripper said as Qrow was acting a bit weird in his drunken situation._

" _Sorry babe!" He said as you saw the lumps moving around again._

 _But for the most part, you could see the taller one kneeling while the shorter one was nowhere to be seen._

" _You put on protection right?"_

" _Of course! I'm not an idiot!"_

 _SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH_

" _OH MY GOD! SO MUCH SEMEN!" Qrow had never felt this satisified in his life._

"BEHOLD MY FLOCK OF QROWS! _" Qrow had lost himself, the drugs and the pleasure were too much._

 _Anyone who walked in on this sight would be scarred for life._

" _OH SHIT!" Qrow started to pull out._

 _Except his dick wasn't done yet, and he ended up getting some all over Davina's back and hair._

" _EW! YOU GOT SOME ON MY BACK!" Davina yelled as she hated getting that shit all over._

 _Her little stubby arms had trouble washing her back, it was a nightmare._

" _SORRY!" Qrow yelled as he pulled off the Condom and threw it in the trash bin._

 _But wait? What was wrong with this picture? If he was wearing a condom? How did Semen end up on her back?_

 _If Qrow and Davina bothered to take a closer look, and if one of them wasn't absolutely drunk, while the other one was high off of Cocaine, they would have noticed that the condom had broken halfway through._

" _Ugh! And now its all over my sheets!" Davina yelled as she was pissed off that her red sheets were covered in white all over._

 _He was going to be in big trouble when he woke up._

 _SQUIRT_

 _One last wad shot out and hit her in the eyes._

" _AAAHHHHHH!" She screamed in pain._

 _This guy was a dead man when he woke up._

" _Neeehhhhh." He rolled out of the bed and fell to the floor._

 _The problem was Qrow had kept all of his clothes except for his shoes on. And those clothes had pockets that were still lined with the dust from the cannon. All they needed was enough force for them to activate again._

 _So when he fell to the floor chest first, the leftover dust in his clothes ignited under the pressure, and sent him home._

 _BOOOOOOM!_

" _HOLY SHIT! SADDAM HUSSEIN IS BOMBING US!" The midget said as she rolled out of bed._

 _Only to see that the man she just slept with was missing, and all that was left was a scorched mark._

" _You asshole! I didn't give you my black cherry for free!" Davina was pissed off._

 _She had to deal with the fact she got gipped by a customer, and she would be walking funny for days._

 _She was not a happy camper._

"…" Jeremiah was currently crying as he realized he was almost one thrust away from being wasted on Anal Sex.

The only ones still left in the room were Ironwood, who couldn't stop laughing, Goodwitch, who was disgusted and actually felt bad for Jem for having Qrow as a father, and Winter who still had not broken out of her stupor.

"Please tell me that's where it ends…" Jem was begging Qrow not to continue.

"Sorry k-….Son…." He corrected himself as he actually felt pretty disgusted with himself right now.

Half of it was because he had a son he didn't know about, and the other half was disgust for sticking his dick in a place that shit came out of.

He respected his dick too much for that…He shouldn't have done that.

He had a shitty dick…and that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

"Don't call me that…" Jeremiah really didn't feel comfortable being called Qrow's son.

Maybe after a shit ton of booze. And probably years of therapy.

" _Uh, what the fuck?" Qrow woke up on the ground._

" _QROW! QROW!" Taiyang called as he was looking for his friend._

" _Ah, my fucking head hurts!" Qrow said as he opened his eyes and noticed it was morning._

" _Qrow!" Taiyang called as he entered the field where Qrow was laying down._

" _WOAH! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Taiyang said as he noticed some of Qrows clothes were burned off._

" _Ahhhhh, Tai, I got a hangover, and….what happened to my clothes?" He asked as he took notice of his state of undress._

" _I don't know! I found you like this? What did you do last night?" Tai had been looking for him all night ever since he disappeared._

" _I don't know…" Qrow couldn't rememeber anything._

 _But for some reason, his nuts felt sore._

"…" Okay, that was one fucked up story.

"I fucking hate you." Jeremiah said as Qrow looked down.

"I think I hate myself right now…"

"Ironwood…could you please go get me that jug of moonshine, I think Qrow and I need a drink." Jeremiah said as they just needed to forget.

"Hell, I might even join you." Ironwood said as he already had the jug with him.

"Make that a fourth." Even Glynda needed to join in on this.

After all, after you hear the story about how Qrow was dropping Sperm bombs inside of a Midget, you wanted to drink heavily. Ozpin even was taking a bit of Whiskey in his coffee as he came back halfway through Qrow's trip down memory lane.

Ozpin had never felt so sick in his life.

Ironwood instead of bringing back shots, brought back coffee cups. After all, one shot was not going to be able to undo a lifetimes worth of mental Trauma.

Glynda had to deal with the fact that Qrow was a bit of a sick bastard.

Ironwood while he was laughing his ass off, was disturbed by the Blackcherry bit.

Ozpin didn't want to talk about it.

And Jeremiah had to deal with the fact that he just got a very detailed description of the time his biological father fucked his mom and dropped giant loads of semen that he eventually turned into. Now that was a hard thing to accept.

He was the result of a drunken encounter, if Qrow had pulled out a few seconds later, he would have ended up as a stain on the mattress.

Or worse, he could have been the load Davina had swallowd.

So he poured Moonshine into those cups and downed his faster than anyone else.

Finally, the gears in Winter's head were turning. Her brain computer had rebooted. And she had only one last thing to say.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH THAT WRETCHED DRUNKARDS SON?!"


	69. Trouble

**So here we go another chapter, I tried to go a slightly more emotional route with this.**

 **Also I do make fun of politics in one part, let me just come out and say this, I voted third party, but it is what it is, and we have a new president, so I don't mind.**

 **BUT I will still make fun of politicians and certain liberals I didn't like, you can have whatever beliefs you want, but keep in mind, if you do lean left wing, chances are I will make fun of left wing people in this.**

 **Don't get me wrong, the right has their fair share of nut jobs too, its why I try to stay middle of the road. But the left is just so easy to make fun, and if you're like me, you'll be able to laugh right along with me.**

* * *

"I can't believe this!" Winter was pacing in the room back and forth as Qrow had left the room, leaving Jeremiah alone with her.

"Of all the things that could have happened!" How did this happen? Why did this happen?

"I fell in love with a miserable drunk!" Now that stung.

She hated Qrow for who he was! Well, maybe not hate, but dislike extremely! And yet here she was falling for his son! What was going on in her head? Why did she love one drunk and dislike the other? She didn't like Qrow for the fact that he was a drunk! So why did she love Jeremiah?

"Winter…" Jeremiah said softly.

"I just can't believe this!" She had nothing else to say besides that.

"Winter…" Jeremiah's voice almost seemed…timid.

"How could I have done something so st-" Suddenly she took a look at Jeremiah.

He had a hurt look on his face as he looked at her.

"W-Why does who my father is suddenly matter?" He said as Winter suddenly realized what she had been saying.

She had been calling herself an idiot for falling in love with Jeremiah. She was disgusted with herself for hating a drunk, but falling in love with a man who may as well have been a drunk, but not the miserable kind, the funny kind.

But the point is…her words hurt like hell.

"Jem….I…" Winter didn't know what to say.

"Just because he's my…dad, that doesn't change who I am…right?" He asked with pain in his eyes.

Jeremiah believed in mental toughness, and he liked to consider himself the epitome of it, he only showed emotions around those he loved, and unforturnately, Winter had rubbed him the wrong way just there.

"What? Am I suddenly not good enough for you?" He asked as Winter suddenly felt like shit.

"I mean….I just found out who my biological father is, and you're acting like it's the worst thing that could have possibly happened." Jeremiah had a hard time believing that Winter seemed to be treating this like a curse.

"Jem! That's not what I meant! It's just that he's..he's a-" Winter honestly didn't know how to save her skin here.

"A drunk?...Like me?" Jeremiah said as Winter suddenly felt like shit.

What could she say? Suddenly she thought back to what she said, and her eyes widened. She just realized she actually did call Jeremiah a miserable drunk….thats why he had that look on his face.

"Jem, I swear I did-" He got out of bed and walked towards the door.

"I-I'm sorry, I need some time to think…" He walked out as Winter put her face into her hands.

"I'm sorry…." She had been careless.

She may have been mad at Qrow, but she didn't mean to take her frustration out on Jeremiah! She would never do that! Well, occasionally when he did something stupid, but she just made an emotional situation even worse. After all, after what he had just been through, of course he was going to be vulnerable.

After all, it was finally confirmed that was just a bastard born from a drunk and a whore. Jeremiah thought he had gotten over that, but actually hearing the truth, it wasn't pleasant. Which was why he turned to alcohol to help him process it.

CRASH!

Winter heard a loud crash as she ran outside. Jeremiah was fine, but he was walking away at a quickening pace as she looked down to see what had fallen.

She held her mouth in horror as she recognized what it was.

It was the jug of moonshine….Jeremiah's jug of moonshine. The thing that he seemed determined to protect with his life. She saw his hand twitching as he walked away.

He smashed it on the ground.

"Oh no….." Winter realized she fucked up.

If Jeremiah threw away moonshine, he was not doing good.

"Winter? What's wrong?" Weiss asked as the group saw Jeremiah walking away.

"What did you do to my daddy?" Nala asked as she saw the sour look on her dad's face.

"I…I…I messed up.." She said as what she had done started to dawn on her.

"Winter…what did you do?" Ruby asked as she noticed the older woman had a guilty look on her face.

"I…I need to go find him!" She said as she ran off to go find him.

The problem with this hospital was that it had a lot of twists and turns, and she didn't have the scent of alcohol to follow this time.

"I'm so sorry!" She said to herself as she needed to find him and apologize.

 **ON EARTH**

"Wow, you do not look right driving this." Mercury said as Cinder grumbled as she was driving the Volkswagen bus.

"No backseat driving." She didn't like driving this either.

She was a fierce warrior! One who would bring death and destruction! But here she was driving a stupid van with peace and flower symbols on it. God, she hated this stupid contraption! What kind of idiots drove around in this thing!

Wait, what happened to the hippie who was driving?

Well, They left him behind after he tried to show how tolerant he was of other people by beating the absolute hell out of a teenager wearing a red hat with a strange slogan on it. Honestly, they may have been villains, but even they could tell that Hippie was an idiot.

Jokes on him, they stole his van, and he ended up getting arrested.

"Still though, how much longer is this drive?" Cinder said as they had been driving for days now.

"Should only be about a few more miles, according to this tracker." Emerald was looking at the tracker.

"Where the hell are we anyways?" Mercury asked as Emerald looking at a map.

"According to this map, we're heading to a small town outside of a city called Chicago." Honestly Emerald was a bit confused.

After all, they got sucked into a new world to go and find the maiden, who was currently comatose, after a crazy guy ruined their invasion plans, and now here they were traveling to this world, just to try and settle a score. Never would you think that this would happen.

The weird thing was the Hippie had a shit ton of money and cocaine in the back of his van, so paying for supplies along the way was never a problem.

"Damn these things are good." Mercury was currently taking a bite out of a Fried egg burger.

"How many of those have you had?" Emerald was disgusted by her partner's eating habits.

"Lost count, but a lot." He said as they were delicious.

Seriously, the one thing about this country was that there was a food joint on every corner, whether that be diners, buffets, fancy restaurants or fast food, this place had it all. Mercury had to admit, it was kind of nice, but he also saw that apparently these people also loved to eat…a little TOO much.

"If you don't stop, you'll end up like that fat ass guy in the baseball cap who said he made movies." Emerald said as they all shivered at that.

They ran into some douchey fat guy in a baseball cap who was trying to sell so called documentaries to them, but he seemed like an asshole, What was his name? Michael Malone? Oh fuck it, they didn't care, that guy was an idiot.

"Yeah you're right…" Mercury put the burger down, he would finish it later, but give him time to digest.

Cinder didn't know what to feel about this country, in all honesty she found it weird, she saw a bunch of people running around wearing vagina hats, and she didn't understand why, were they saying they were nothing more than vaginas? She didn't know, and frankly she didn't stick around long enough to find out.

And then they stopped to eat and Mercury got hit on by a bunch of gay bikers. That freaked him out, but luckily that didn't last long because Emerald ended up coming over and begrudgingly pretending to be his girlfriend.

And I that wasn't enough, every time they stopped, a bunch of kids kept staring at Cinder asking her if she was a princess, because she was beautiful.

"I am not a princess…" Cinder grumbled under her breath.

Made her realize she didn't like kids.

"So where do you think he hid the maiden?" Mercury asked as they knew it had to be some heavily guarded area.

"Probably a military base?" Emerald suggested.

After all, the maiden was originaly being held in Beacon Academy, way beneath the schoolgrounds, but obviously they didn't have that here, so maybe he moved her to a military base on this planet? At least something that had some security.

"Or maybe he built some sort of hideout with a bunch of traps?" Mercury suggested as that would be like something out a movie.

"I don't know, but we're going to find out soon." Cinder was prepared for anything.

When they got there, she wouldn't be surprised.

 **AN HOUR LATER**

Cinder was surprised.

Not at the heavy security, not at the armed guards, no she was surprised because of what she did see.

Which was absolutely nothing except for a large white house that was surrounded by a brick wall for some reason.

"Why the heck is there a wall around it?" Mercury asked as the brick wall seemed random.

"To keep people out dumb ass!" Emerald said even though it seemed ridiculous.

"Well I know that, but what if people climb over it?" He asked as Cinder took a closer look.

"Unlikely, the top is covered in razor wire." It didn't matter if you had Aura, Razor wire hurt like hell.

"Still though, its just a regular house, why the hell would Ozpin hide the maiden here?" Emerald asked as it didn't make any sense.

"Maybe he trusts the civilian here?" Cinder suggested as they suddenly saw a peculiar sight on the roof.

"HERE COMES THE WATERFALL!" Dale yelled as he pissed off the roof of his house as he was drunk again and pissing on a picture of a creepy looking lady in a suit.

"DALE! GET DOWN FROM THERE AND PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!" Momma said as he grumbled.

"THIS IS AMERICA! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT ON MY OWN PROPERTY!" He said as he finished pissing on the devil woman.

"Either way, get down from there!" Momma really didn't like this.

Ever since that damn election was over, he hadn't stopped laughing. Granted, he wasn't sure about what the hell was going to happen, but one thing was for sure, the jokes and memes had been GOLD so far this year, and he absolutely LOVED it.

"Uhhhhh." Mercury couldn't believe this.

"Ozpin's guardian is a drunk guy pissing on a picture of an ugly old woman?" Emerald asked as Cinder chuckled.

"This is going to be too easy." She said as they would come back later tonight and scope the place out?

After all, what could possibly go wrong?

 **BACK ON REMNANT**

"Jeeeemmm! Jem!" Nora was helping Winter look for him.

"You better apologize to him right now!" Nala glared at Winter.

This was supposed to be her new mommy? She was mean to her daddy! She better get an apology in.

"I know…I know…" Winter had never felt this guilty in her life.

As if making Jeremiah feel like an utter piece of shit wasn't enough, now she had that cute lion faunus glaring at her with those disapproving eyes.

"How am I supposed to call you my mommy if you won't be nice to daddy?" She asked as everyone froze.

"M-Mommy?" Winter didn't know what she had gotten herself into.

"Yes! Obviously you love my daddy, so that makes you my mommy!" Nala stated as a matter of fact.

"But not until you apologize!" Nala was putting her foot down.

"He…msh…." They heard a mumbling noise as they stopped.

"I think I found him…." Winter said as she opened the door to a darkened room.

"Stupid….miserable….drunk…." Winter winced as she heard those words.

"Just…a bastard….after all…"

"Jem?" She asked as she saw Jem in the corner of the room.

Had he been crying? If so, that made her feel even more guilty.

"Oh….came looking for little old me huh?" He chuckled in a sad way.

"I came to apologize." She was speaking as if she was a kid on the playground apologizing to another kid.

"For what? For telling the truth?" He said as he laughed a bit, but it wasn't joyful.

"I didn't mean to-" Winter was cut off.

"To say what? That I'm a drunk? Come on, we both know that isn't true….that you didn't mean to go about how you're in love with that wretched drunkards son? About how you could be so stupid as to fall in love with a man so similar to the one you hate?" The more he thought about it, the worse it got.

"I'm sorry! I was just shocked! I didn't mean to say any of that!" In all honesty, what could she say.

"Do you know how it feels?" Jem asked.

"How…How what feels?" She was almost afraid to know.

"To know that the same woman who said you weren't a bastard the day he found out he was adopted is the same woman who had a hard time accepting who his 'Biological father' was, do you know how It made me feel?" He asked as she looked down.

"I really was just a bastard all along…you heard it from Qrow, I was the result of a one night stand!" Jeremiah would be laughing under normal circumstances.

Even though he knew about Davina before, he had spent the past year trying to find his real father. He may have said that he didn't need to know, but in reality, he did want to know. Maybe his father was someone rich? Someone famous? Maybe his father always wanted a son? Maybe he would want to get to know him.

And Jem got his wish…he found his real father, and the only thing he felt was empty. His father was Qrow Branwen, but not by choice, seems like his semblance screwed both of them over.

"Jem, you're no bastard." She said as she cupped his cheek gently.

"I-I don't hate Qrow, its just that, everything he does bothers me." She said as Jem looked away.

"And look at me Winter…don't you see it?" He asked as he looked sad.

"You would have to be blind to see how similar we are, I'm not mad at you for how you reacted…" He said as he looked in the eyes.

"I'm mad….because listening to you talk….made me feel like you hated one half of who I am…" And that hit Winter like a ton of bricks.

Of course, while he may not have known Qrow long, and he may not like some aspects of his character, one would have to be blind not to see how similar the two were, from the mannerisms to the drinking, Qrow may not have raised Jeremiah…but he was every bit his son.

And to think that Winter hated him for that, it was an awful feeling.

Winter couldn't believe herself, she let her own anger cloud her from the fact that Jeremiah was still in a sore place.

After all, its to be expected when your whole life is turned upside down by one revelation.

"I'm so sorry!" She said as she hugged him.

"Mmpf." He felt her breasts squeeze into him.

"I…I didn't mean that! Any of it! Please, please forgive me!" She said as she couldn't believe she made such a mistake.

This was a hard time for him, he liked to portray himself as some bad ass, no emotion killing machine, but underneath all of that, he was like a little boy finding out that his whole life was a lie. Of course this was going to be hard for him.

From waking up in a hospital bed and realizing that more people had been killed at beacon then in the original volume 3 invasion, and then finding out who your real father was, it had been an emotional rollercoaster. And Winter wasn't there to help him through it at first.

"I'm sorry, please, just give me one more chance." She said as she hoped he would give her that.

"You don't need to stop drinking, I know you like it, just please, you don't need to quit just for me..I know what I said was...insenstive, but you've never once thought bad of m no matter what, and your drinking while annoying at times, has never resulted in us having any problems before, so I'm sorry...I'm sorry for making you feel like an alcoholic." She said referring to the broken moonshine.

"Mmm…Winter…" He mumbled as she pulled away.

"Kind of hard to speak when you bury my head into your boobs." He said with a grin as she blushed.

"You perv!" She said as he let out a chuckle, but this time it was different, it was actually joyous.

"Hey, it got that sad look off your face." Jeremiah may have been mad at her.

But one thing was for sure, he didn't like seeing her sad anymore than she liked seeing him sad.

"Can you forgive me?" She asked as he nodded.

"I don't know, maybe another boob hug before I make a decision?" He joked as she chuckled.

"Your daughter is outside…maybe later." She said as Nala came in.

"DADDY!" She love tackled him.

"Are you and Mommy done fighting?" She asked as Jeremiah raised an eyebrow.

" _I'll explain later…"_ She said as Jeremiah nodded.

"Yes sweetie…Mommy and I are done fighting…" He said as Nala suddenly turned to Winter with a smile on her face.

"YAY! I HAVE A MOMMY NOW!" All she needed was her Dad's confirmation.

Winter thought she had been hugged tightly before.

But this Lion Faunus might as well have been a boa constrictor.


	70. The Shit hits the fan

**Okay, so here is the latest chapter. Anyways, I got to say this.**

 **For those of you asking me about Endless Possibilities, relax, I'm working on a new chapter. But I only update that story once a month due to all the planning I have to think about**

 **This story is much easier to write for because I had a good portion of it planned out.**

 **As for Endless Possibilites, I am glad so many like it, but that takes time, and like I said, that is really only a story I plan to update on a monthly basis.**

* * *

"I'm not sure how I feel about this…" Winter saw their unofficial adopted daughter playing with one of the soldiers on deck.

"You and me both…but…she is a cute girl, and she has those puppy dog eyes….or in this case, more like kitten eyes." Jeremiah said as Nala seemed to be having a good time.

"But we can't just leave her either…" Winter knew there was no way that was happening.

Especially since the girl seemed to have developed an attachment to them already, honestly it was ridiculous, you would think she had developed Stockholm syndrome, but there was no way that it was that.

"This is not the way I expected to end up a father…" Jeremiah was watching as Nala was currently jumping onto various soldiers, playing a game she called 'Pounce.'

"How did you expect to?" She asked as he shrugged.

"Well, preferably with you on…" She put a hand over his mouth.

"Don't even finish that sentence you pervert." She blushed as she was close to smacking him.

"What?" He gave an innocent little grin.

"Mind If I sit here?" Qrow asked as he felt a little awkward coming over here.

"Uh…Yeah…sure.." Jeremiah still didn't know what to think.

You find out your dad is a bad ass huntsman from another world, and at the same time, you end up a dad, and your dad ends up a grandpa. This was an interesting turn of events.

"So…hows it going?" Qrow honestly didn't know how to start the conversation.

"Good…Good, and you?" Winter asked as she still couldn't believe that THIS guy could be her future father in law.

Wait, father in law? But that would mean…her heartbeat got a bit quicker as she thought of the possibilities. Then again…Jeremiah's future father in law was a guy he punched in the nuts.

"Look, K-…Son…." Yeah, that was a bit awkward to say.

"I have to admit, I wasn't expecting this to happen, at any point in my life." Qrow was trying to talk to Jeremiah.

Honestly, he wasn't good at this kind of thing, Qrow never planned on having kids, and he wasn't exactly the family man type. But now he did have a son, which meant he had to take some responsibility…even if it wasn't a lot.

"You and me both, Seems like you became a father the same time I did…" He said as Nala was now being chased by Blake.

Huh, a cat and a lion chasing each other, it was kind of cute.

"Give me back my book!" She said as that was not appropriate for children.

"It's just, look, I'm not exactly father material and…" He was cut off by Jem.

"Look, Q-….Dad…" Okay, that felt weird to say.

"Let's get one thing straight, we're both grown men, crazy shit happened, so why don't we just try and take this slow? I mean, its not like I'm a little kid who grew up without parents, I don't need the whole speech. Look, why don't we just do what we were doing before, sure things are different, but doesn't mean we can't just act the way we did before we found out that we were related." He said as Winter nodded.

"And besides, why don't we settle it over a drink or two?" Okay, that made Winter facepalm.

"Hey Sweetie! You said you didn't have a problem with me drinking! And I've cut down on a lot!" Jem was no longer worried about Winter calling him a drunk.

"Is this really the best course of action for Father/Son bonding?" She couldn't believe she was in love with this idiot.

"Hell yeah it is!" Qrow and Jem said a the exact same time.

"See? We're already getting along!" Jem said with a smile.

Normally most people in this situation would go into denial about what was going on and be really mad at their biological father, but Jem didn't grow up in a broken home, he was loved by two caring parents, so he didn't feel the anger and hostility some would have towards their real parents…well…except for Davina, she could go fuck herself with a cactus.

"Fine, but I'm not letting you two out of my sight, Oum knows we don't need Qrow blasting himself off to Earth again and knocking up another stripper." She said as Qrow looked down.

"Nobody is ever going to let me live that down are they?" He asked as he may like sex, but having sex with a midget stripper was embarrassing.

"Considering General Ironwood has your entire story on tape because of the security cameras in the hospital room, it's very unlikely."

That part was True, Ironwood may be a hard ass, but he hadn't stopped laughing ever since he got that tape. Now he had something to shame Qrow with everytime he acted up. Oh? I did something you didn't like Qrow? WELL I DIDN'T FUCK A MIDGET!

Oh, Ironwood was drunk on power with the video tape.

"….I hate myself…." Qrow couldn't believe that happened.

"At least one good thing came out of it." Winter said as she nudged Jeremiah.

"Eh, that's debateable, I'm pretty fucked up in the head." Jem said as Winter deadpanned.

"Wow, way to kill the cute moment I was going for." She gave him a light slap upside the head.

"His smart ass nature comes from you…" She glared at Qrow.

"Oh geez, you sound like Glynda." He had gotten a stern lecture from Goodwitch before coming here.

 _FLASHBACK_

" _WOAH! GLYNDA! CALM DOWN!" Qrow couldn't believe this was happening._

" _Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?!" Goodwitch had him pinned against the wall._

 _Granted, he had a fantasy like this once, surprisingly it was with Winter Schnee though…_

" _How was I supposed to know I have a son?!" He couldn't even remember a week ago when he woke up with a hangover._

" _That's not the point! The point is you have a son!" Goodwitch currently had her riding crop in hand ready to whip Qrow's ass if it was necessary._

" _Look! He turned out fine! It sucks I didn't know I had one! But come on! At least he's a…mostly good kid." Okay Qrow would admit it._

" _That boy is a smart ass…" Goodwitch started._

" _A heavy drinker!"_

" _A pervert!" Okay that was just making an assumption._

" _THAT BOY IS A MINI YOU!" Except he was balder and shorter._

" _Okay, I get it, what do you want me to do?" He was hoping she wouldn't hit him with that crop._

" _You're going to take responsibility! Go and talk to your son!" She said as she walked away._

" _What? How do I do that?" He asked as Goodwitch looked back._

" _Well you better figure it out! All I know is your nieces seem pretty excited at the thought of having a cousin, wouldn't want to disappoint them would you?" She asked as Qrow got nervous._

 _Oh great, he didn't even think about how Yang and Ruby would take this._

 _FLASHBACK END_

"CUZ!" Yang said as she threw a fist into Jem's shoulder.

"Oowwww…" He said as Yang's punch with her left arm hurt like hell.

"How's it going cousin?" Ruby said as she hugged him from behind.

"Well, fine, you two are acting weird though." He said as they both put hands on their chests.

"Oh our dear sweet little cousin! You wound us!" They said as Jeremiah just gave them a look.

"I'm older than you two…" He said as they just grinned.

"Only because you were born on Earth! If you were born here, you would probably be about our age or even younger!" Yang said reminding him of the time difference.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Their logic was weird.

"Still though, I can't believe we didn't notice it earlier!" Ruby said as Nora heard that and looked towards the screen at the viewers.

"Yeah, its almost like hints were being dropped the whole time!" Nora winked at the audience.

"We have so much to show you when we get back to patch!" Ruby said as they couldn't wait to introduce him to Zwei. Or show them where they grew up, where the fun places to go were, it was going to be great.

"We're not going to Patch." Winter said as she knew Jeremiah wasn't going to like what was going on.

"Wait, then where are we going?" Ruby asked as she was excited to get home, but this put a damper on her spirits.

"We're…going to have to stop and drop ship in Atlas…" She said as she didn't know how to tell Jem this.

"So? That's not so bad, whats with the look on your face?" Jem asked as she sighed.

"We're dropping ship at the Schnee Mansion."

 **ON EARTH**

"Why didn't the crazy girl come with us?" Mercury asked as he was dressed in all black along with Emerald and Cinder.

"I don't know, she heard where we were going and ran all the way back to the hotel, apparently she has some bad blood with these people." Emerald didn't understand why the girl was so scared.

"Whatever, we don't need her." Cinder said as they looked at the wall in front of them.

"Mercury, Jump up the wall and open the gate." She said as Mercury groaned.

"Why me?" He asked as she glared.

"Because you have false legs, and the razor wire on top won't cut your legs." It was really that simple.

He grumbled, sure he was stuck doing all the hard work all over again.

"Fine!" He said as he prepared to jump.

FWOOM!

"Heh, piece of cake." He said as he landed on top of the wall, right between the razor wiring, his pants being ripped a bit, but he remained uninjured.

For about five seconds.

"GAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAH!" He started screaming as bolts of electricity started flowing through his body.

"BALEHBSHBKJBCKJBABAJGBSJ" Now his words were completely gibberish due to the 10,000 volts.

"Oh dear…" Cinder and Emerald said as they saw him get launched off.

"AAAHHHHHH!" He yelled as he was blown fifteen feet back.

"Mercury!" Emerald yelled as they went to go check on him.

"W-What THE HELL?!" He yelled as his hair now looked like an Afro.

"It would appear that they have electricity running through the wires…" Cinder had to admit, these people were well prepared.

"YOU DON'T SAY?! OH I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A SEIZURE!" Mercury was pissed, once again, he was getting the short end of the stick.

His balls were still vibrating from that shock. Seriously, first he took that shot from Yang to the nuts, and now his whole body felt like he was having a seizure.

"Okay, so this wasn't the best idea." Cinder said as Mercury spoke up.

"Why not just blow up the wall?" He asked as Cinder rolled her eyes.

"We can't risk being discovered, if I blow this up, police will come from miles away, and we don't need them being a thorn in our side." Cinder was confident they could kill anyone who came their way.

But if they did, that would leave trail of bodies, and they couldn't risk bringing too much attention to themselves. So they had to stick with much simple and stealthier methods of getting into the house. Ozpin must have been wise to choose this place. The owners may have been crazy, but they did seem to take their security seriously.

"Okay, Plan B…" Cinder said as she gave Mercury a shovel.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" He asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Dig." Okay, now that was ridiculous.

"Are you kidding me?! This isn't a cartoon! Do you expect me to dig a hole and come out on the other side?" Mercury was not happy that he was once again getting screwed over.

"Yes, what, do you really think no one could tunnel under the wall?" She asked as she was sure Mercury could do it.

"Why me?" Seriously, why not Emerald?

"Because I'm the Brains, Emerald's the Illusionist, and by default, you're the brawn, so get to digging." Cinder mocked as Mercury grumbled to himself.

He really hated his job.

"Damn, I wish that we never came here…" He started digging.

This was going to take hours.

 **THREE HOURS LATER**

*Whine* *Whine*

"Zeus…you got to go?" Dale said as Zeus had a panicked look on his face.

"Whats with you?" Dale had never seen Zeus look this worried before.

"I'll tell you whats wrong with him!" Momma stood up as she was talking to Grandmama.

"That little bastard stole one of my Homemade buffalo wings, with the extra spicy sauce, and now its probably coming back to bite him in the ass." Momma loved their dog, but he was being a little bastard by stealing food.

"Is that true Zeus?" He asked the dog as Zeus looked absolutely miserable.

" _Please just let me go out! It feels like my asshole is burning!"_ Zeus was not a happy camper.

First his Master/best friend/bacon buddy/favorite human's girlfriend had disappeared along with his new friends who fed him treats, and then his master had moved to a different state, so he didn't get to see him as often. And he just missed getting so many treats! He was still fed regularly, but he wanted something a little more.

So when he saw an opportunity to steal a buffalo wing from the table. He took it, but he didn't know it would lead to this! It was a little hot, but he didn't realize that it would HURT this much! Zeus regretted everything he had ever done in his life, all he wanted was for this to be over.

"Well, I better take him outside." Dale said as Zeus breathed a sigh of relief.

" _Oh thank god! Me love you long time!"_ Zeus thought as Dale went over to the sliding glass door.

"Okay boy, go." He said as Zeus shot out the door like a bullet.

" _GOT TO POO! GOT TO POO! GOT TO POO!"_ He yelled in his mind as he knew he had to go quickly.

He started sniffing around, he knew that he had to go, but he couldn't rush it, he needed to find the perfect spot to do his business. He didn't know why, but he couldn't just do it on the grass in the front yard, because that was where he played, so he needed to go into the hay field, that way he could fertilize the fields while doing his business.

" _HERE!"_ Zeus found the perfect spot.

He squatted down and got ready to unleash a power shit.

 **WITH MERCURY**

"I hate this…I hate this…I hate this…" He said as was getting tired.

Cinder and Emerald were on the other side of the wall sipping on Soda, while he was down here working on a tunnel, it pissed him off. Was it because he was a man? He thinks it was because he was a man. This sucked balls!

"Well, at least I'm getting close to the end." He said as he was now digging up and he could feel the ground giving away.

"Almost there…" He was so happy, finally he would see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Almost there!" He was getting excited!

Finally, he could get through this stupid tunnel, and be done with it! They would find the maiden, and they could kill her and go home!

"THERE!" He stuck his head through the top of the hole he just created.

Only to come face to face with a dog's asshole.

"What the?" He opened his mouth to speak as he saw it move.

"OH HELL NO!" He yelled as he realized what was happening.

SPPPPPPPTTTTTT

"AAGGGGHHHHH!" Mercury screamed as he was enveloped in a warm, runny, brown substance.

"BARK BARK BARK BARK!" Zeus was barking in pain as the shit shot out of his asshole like a bullet.

The buffalo wing had the horrible effect of giving him painful, explosive diarrhea. And it was miserable. But not as bad as Mercury's situation.

First it got in his eyes, stinging them as he felt the fecal matter get into every crack and crevise of his eyelids. The problem was he was yelling when it hit, so his mouth was wide open for business. As the first drop of doggy diarrhea hit, he felt like vomiting. It tasted like someone had thrown a sweaty sock into a port a potty, pulled it out and shoved it in his mouth. Worse was that it was getting between his teeth, so everytime he tried to spit it out, he had to taste it all over again.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the shit didn't seem to stop coming. It just kept flowing out like water out of a waterfall. There was no end in sight. And the worst part was Mercury's head was stuck, so he couldn't even move. He was trying to pull his head back into his tunnel. But to no avail.

Zeus continued to shit all over him. As the shit continued, it went from brown and runny, to getting harder and softer, so to add insult to Mercury's shit covered face, now he had to deal with what seemed to be scoops of horrible brown ice cream being dropped onto his face.

Only this time he inhaled because he couldn't breath.

And he got a wiff of shit, the smell perverted his nose almost like the time he came across that dead cat, but much much worse.

"AHHHHHH!" Finally he pulled himself back into the tunnel.

He clawed at his face, trying to peel the shit off. But it was too late, the shit had done its damage. He was blinded as he ran back through the tunnel.

"Ah, here comes Mercury now." Cinder said as he burst out of the tunnel.

Looking like he was the result of Anal sex going wrong.

"AAHHHHH!" He yelled as he grabbed onto Emerald.

"UGH! MERC! WHAT ARE YOU?!" Suddenly some of the shit dripped onto Emerald's front.

"What is th-" Suddenly she got a wiff of Mercury.

"Oh! OH OU-" She realized what it was.

"BLAAHH!" She vomited all over Mercury.

"BLAAAHHHH!" Which in turned caused him to vomit right back. But his was worse.

You see, the amount of shit that Emerald got on her wasn't that much, but now she was covered in both vomit, and the shit that was still in Mercury's mouth. So she got a double whammy.

Meanwhile…Cinder was mainting her distance.

"What kind of security do they have in there?" She asked as both Emerald and Mercury were now vomiting all over the place.


	71. Landing and a New Plan

**Okay, so here we go, Chapter 71, now to give fair warning, I don't want to make it seem like I'm the guy who bashes characters constantly, I am not that kind of person.**

 **That being said, there are a ton of characters who I enjoy beating with the comedy relief stick. So you will see that happen a lot, at first it was Roman, then Whitley, and now it's Mercury's turn.**

 **That, and I had an opportunity here that I couldn't pass up.**

* * *

"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" Jeremiah yelled as he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I knew you would react like this." Winter rubbed her eyes as she knew he was not going to like this.

"Are you nuts? If I go there, I'm a dead man!" He had seen the wanted posters around Atlas. One of the soldiers even tried to turn him in for the bounty.

Granted, Winter put an end to that when she stated that he was not to be touched, and he was innocent of any and all crimes that her father had accused him of. So needless to say, it was not a good thing for him to be going to the Schnee Mansion, especially when the two famous inhabitants of that place hated his guts.

Whitley and Jacques, two people who he would not get along with, and he had to go to their house…just great.

"Look, I'm sure once I explain the situation, he'll understand it was just a misunderstanding." Winter was trying to calm him down.

"A misunderstanding? I took Whitley hostage because I didn't want to be under the bed while he was jerking off! That is more than a misunderstanding!" He knew this was not going to end well.

"Well maybe they won't recognize you, maybe you could shave the bea-" Weiss started to speak but he glared at her.

"DON'T…FINISH…THAT….SENTENCE." Ain't no way in hell he was shaving the beard!

"Well what are we going to do?" Weiss asked as they couldn't think of anything.

"Yeah, its not like we can just walk up and say Hi." Qrow said as Winter and Jeremiah looked at each other.

"Well, we could, maybe…" Jeremiah got an idea.

"No, don't even think of it." Winter said as Jeremiah looked down.

Eh its okay, where was he going to find forty rubber chickens and a jar of olive oil this late anyways?

"Maam, we'll be landing soon." One of the soldier's said as Jeremiah sighed.

"Daddy, are you going to jail?" Nala asked as she hugged Jeremiah's leg.

"No Sweetie, I'm not going to jail." Seriously, it felt weird comforting a kid like this.

"Mommy, can I have some hot coco?" Winter still felt weirded out by that.

"Er, Yes…Nala…you can." The faunus girl got a grin on her face as she ran off.

"No running in the halls!" One of the soldier's yelled as it was hard to contain the little bundle of energy.

"Ha ha! Looks like Ice Queen doesn't know how to handle being a mom!" A shoe was thrown at Qrow.

"Ahhh!" He let out the same scream that Jeremiah did in Chapter 68.

"Wow, you two even sound alike when you scream." Weiss pointed out as Qrow picked up the shoe.

"Who in the hell throws a shoe?" He asked as he didn't even know where she got it.

"Woah…." Jeremiah was in awe.

"Don't take this the wrong way…but…did my mother teach you to do that?" He asked as Winter rolled her eyes.

"Yes, for some reason she felt it was necessary for me to be able to hit people with a shoe from across the room…said it would help with 'Future children who act up." She finished as Jeremiah nodded.

His mother got the idea after watching an Eddie Murphy routine about mothers hitting their kids with a shoe, and that was how he got disciplined, you screw something up, screw getting spanked, SHOE TO THE FACE! It pissed him off how accurate his mom was with a shoe.

"Look, we got to do something about this…" Jeremiah noticed the ship had landed.

"Relax, we have everything under control, lets just be mellow." She said as they all got ready to leave the ship.

The cargo door opened, they were all lined up ready to get out of the ship after a long trip.

"SEIZE HIM!" Jacques Schnee yelled as Whitley was standing right by him.

"Oh shit…" He said as Guards were coming forward.

"Father!" Winter said as Jacques looked at her.

"Thank you for escorting this man to us, we will make sure he faces appropriate justice." He said as she snarled at him.

"I didn't bring him here to turn him in." She turned to see Jeremiah was being led away in handcuffs.

"Winter! Wait for me! Wait for me on the outside!" He decided to just be a smart ass.

"Shut up!" She knew this was no time for jokes.

"Father, this man is completely innocent of any crime you have against him." She said as Whitley glared.

"That man took me hostage! And don't even get me started on his perverted tendencies, which how he…touched me..!" Whitley said as Jeremiah yelled.

"BULLSHIT! YOU TOUCHED YOURSELF TO THOSE DIRTY PORNO MAGAZINES!" He yelled as everyone looked at Whitley who looked slightly panicked.

"I…I have no such thing!" He said as Jacques shook his head.

"Whitley, lying is not befitting of a Schnee." He said as Jeremiah spoke up.

"And I didn't touch him! Well except for when I shoved my gun into him to get him to move." He said as Winter glared.

"You're not helping yourself!" Somehow that just dug a deeper hole.  
"So you admit to your crimes!" Jacques said as he glared and walked over to Jem.

"I didn't do anything you old bastard! I was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time!" Even the guards were having a hard time dealing with this.

"Do you really expect me to believe such frivolous statements? You broke into my house and tried to kill me!" He knew this to be true.

"If I wanted to kill you, why didn't I do it when I popped in your shower?!" He asked as it was now everyone's turn to look at Jacques.

"Woah…Shower? Da fuck?" Qrow muttered under his breath.

What the hell was Jem doing in his shower?

"Never the less, you will be puni-" Jacques was cut off by a war cry.

"STOP PICKING ON MY DADDY!" Jacques turned to see a little faunus girl.

At first he was going to snarl in disgust. But he noticed one thing. That little girl wasn't running. She was soaring through the air. And she had one foot stuck out in a kicking position. She almost seemed to fly right towards him with anger in her eyes as her foot traveled through the air. She kind of looked like Jack Black launching a kick at Kyle Gass in their old TV show on HBO. It was magical to watch.

Before Jacques could react he noticed the little girl was getting closer and closer. Until finally, she landed a kick.

Right in his nuts.

The searing pain shot through his body. The feeling of his nuts being crushed underneath the foot of a lion faunus, it felt like someone had literally taken two grapes, put them on the ground, and stomped them. Never before had he received a kick to the balls, and frankly, he never wanted to again.

"AAHHHH!" He screamed as he realized this was the second time he got a nut tap, and both by complete strangers.

"Ooooohhh." Some people looked by as even Jeremiah crossed his legs at that one.

"LET MY DADDY GO!" She said as she walked over to Jacques on the ground.

And proceeded to stop on his nuts again. Okay, now that was a funny sight. If anything, people would call it divine justice, after all, Jacques was known for using faunus laborers in his mines, and now here he was getting kicked in the nuts by a little faunus girl.

"OW!" Jacques said as Whitley just watched. He didn't want to be a part of this.

"NALA!" Winter said as she pulled her adopted 'Daughter' away.

"Wow….its almost like she really is my daughter…" Jeremiah said as he remembered that he punched Jacques in the dick when he first met him.

"But…I am your daughter." Nala said with a cute head tilt.

"Oh my god." He said as he headbutted the guards and ran over to her.

"You're so adorable!" He said as he hugged her close.

"A-Arrest her." Jacques said as he was barely standing.

"Sir, we can't arrest a minor." The guards said as General Ironwood came out.

"Jacques! I believe we have some matters to discuss, concerning young Winter and Jeremiah here." Ironwood was certain that he could sort his out.

After Jacques had gotten an ice pack for his nuts of course.

So far, negotiations were not looking good.

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"Okay, so that plan failed." Emerald said as Mercury was currently in the shower hugging his knees to his chest while crying in shame.

"I got the poo on me…" Mercury said as he was trying to wash his sins away.

But they would never go away…he was permanently stained, his dignity stripped away, all because of a Dog's asshole.

"It's disgusting…" Cinder said as she couldn't believe what had transpired.

"Hey! I didn't have a good time either!" Emerald couldn't believe what had happened.

It had been a really shitty night.

"Well obviously we can't tunnel through, they filled the hole up since last night…" Cinder said as it didn't take Dale long to find that someone had tried to get through his wall. And he filled the hole back up.

"And we can't go over the top…" Cinder trailed off as the wall had electrical razor wire on top.

"So what can we do?" Emerald asked as Mercury came out.

"The smell…it won't go away…" He said as Cinder threw a can of tomato juice at him.

"Bath in tomato juice, it should help." She noticed Mercury picked up a ton of cans and went over to the bath.

"You don't know who you're messing with…" Tigerstripe said as she knew this would happen if they tried to infiltrate THAT house.

"What do you mean?" Cinder asked as she was hoping her input would be helpful here.

"I mean, I know that house…it's the house of my little wolfs parents, and they are batshit insane." Even she wouldn't go near that place.

She only had to make that mistake once after her little wolf broke up with her…she couldn't get within five meters of that place without them calling the police. Needless to say, that was why she elected to stay in the hotel and watch furry house party videos.

"They're just regular civilians, what could they possibly do?" Cinder asked as Tigerstripe shook her head.

"You don't get it….I saw Jemmy's dad kill two intruders with one bullet…" She said as she started shaking.

"He didn't even have a gun…he just threw the bullet at them until they died…." She said as Emerald shook her head.

"Bullshit."

"Okay, that didn't happen, but it wouldn't surprise me if he could do that!" She yelled in her defense.

"Well we can't go back without the maiden, so we need a plan." Cinder said as Tigerstripe thought and thought.

"WAIT! I got it!" She said as she smiled.

"You're new to this world? And you don't exactly look to be in the best condition, in fact you look like homeless people." She said as Cinder rolled her eyes.

"Thank you for your words of kindness…" She said sarcastically.

"My little wolf, his grandmother, she is known for taking in charity cases, she goes over to their house to cook dinner with his parents every Friday night, all you have to do is convince her that you are in need of help, and she will take you with her anywhere." Tigerstripe knew this to be true.

Grandmama may have hated her, but she tried to get Tigerstripe into a mental hospital before getting a restraining order. She was sweet like that.

"Perfect, so where do we find her?" Cinder asked as Tigerstripe smiled.

"I know how.." She said as she walked out of the room.

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"BASTARDO! LEARN TO DRIVE!" Grandmama yelled out the window as she flipped the beard to a guy in a flat cap.

Damn Irishman.

"Oh, whats this?" She said as she noticed three people on the side of the road.

Their clothes were in tattered, and one of them had really bad hair that seemed to be covered in dirt, but they both looked like they had been starved to the bone. The odd thing was their strange hair and eye combinations.

She had never seen a woman with green hair, or a man with silver hair, or a woman with Amber eyes…this was certainly odd.

"Madame! Madame!" The green haired lass said as she walked over to the side of the car as Grandmama pulled over.

"Please Madame, we are but poor travelers in need of food! Could you please help us?" Emerald gave her best innocent impression as her illusion semblance was helping them look more starved.

"Oh my…" Grandmama stepped out of the car and pulled Emerald into a hug.

"DIO MIO! YOU'RE ALL SO SKINNY! COME COME! I WILL GET YOU FOOD! COME COME! IN THE CAR!" She said as Emerald looked back and winked at her trio.

" _Huh, that was easier than expected."_ Cinder said as they filed into the car.

"Now, hold on tight. We have a way to go." Grandmama said as she slammed down on the accelerator.

"LEARN TO DRIVE THAT FUCKING POTATOMOBILE!" She yelled as she was swerving in and out of traffic. **(1)**

While she had three very terrified passengers in the back seat.

 **ALSO ON EARTH**

"So what are we going to tell his parents?" Blaze said as Cristofer sighed.

"We still haven't found him or Tigerstripe yet, how can we tell them that he's still missing?" Cristofer said as Ms. Penny was currently licking Blaze's hand.

"Jesus Christ, are you ever going to get rid of that?" Cristofer really didn't like the fact he had to stop to feed the damn tiger.

"Hey! Ms. Penny is here to stay!" He defended her as he gave her a hug.

"Meow." Ms. Penny had pretty much turned into a house cat.

Except when someone threatened her master, in which case, she let her feral side show. No one fucked with her best friend/master/beef jerky buddy/cuddle buddy.

"Look, we're just going back to say Hi, give them the information we have, and then we'll be back on the road looking for him, he can't hide forever." Blaze said as Cris nodded.

"Okay, but if they start crying, you're dealing with it." The detective said as he continued the drive back to Illinois.

"By the way, can we stop and pick up some Tuna? Ms. Penny loves tuna." He said as the giant cat meowed.

"Do I have to stop everytime your damn tiger gets hungry?!" Cristofer was honestly irritated.

"If you want, she could eat you instead…" Blaze suggested as Ms. Penny looked at the detective with a hungry look.

"Fine…I'll stop and get the tuna…" Cristofer let out a few swears under his breath.

He had heard of being pussy whipped before, but this was ridiculous.

* * *

 **(1) My grandmother actually did yell this at an Irishman when we were in traffic...**


	72. Family and Feeding time

**So here we go, to be honest, I was having trouble with this chapter because I didn't know how to work with the Jacques Schnee angle, so I just decided to say fuck it, just write some random shit and sell it as snake oil.**

 **Anyways, how many people reading this story have been here since I first published it? Anyone out there out of curiousity?**

* * *

"So…you mean to tell me…that…this man was experimenting with dust, and he somehow ended up in MY house, in MY shower, and was acting in defense." Jacques said as he held an ice pack to his junk.

That faunus riff raff had done a number on his knackers.

"Yes Father." Winter said as Jacques glared at Jeremiah.

"Then why did he threaten me!" Whitley said as Jeremiah glared at him.

"I already told you! I didn't want to be stuck under the bed while you masturbated! So I panicked!" He yelled in his defense.

"You pointed a gun at me!" Whitley pointed out his overreaction.

"Okay, maybe that wasn't wise, but do you really think I was in my right mind? I mean, come on! I had just gone through a wormhole through time and space!" He tried going with the cover story.

Unofficially, he was just a soldier who worked in research and development of Dust science. Jeremiah thought that cover was stupid because no way in hell he would be a scientist. For God's sake, he spent his time shooting shit and blowing stuff up, ain't no way he had patience for a lab job.

"Then what was with hanging me from that spear!" Whitley said as Jeremiah laughed at that.

"Okay, you got to admit, that was funny." He said as Whitley glared.

"I hate you.." He said as Mr. Schnee thought it through.

"Hmm, you see Winter, I don't believe you." He said as he looked at her.

"Excuse me?" She asked as he glared.

"I don't believe you, after all, you're merely trying to protect your little…toy here." He said as he pointed to Jeremiah.

"He is not a toy!" Winter said as Jeremiah mumbled.

"Yeah…I'm no ones boy toy."

"Winter, I know that look in your eyes, you have feelings for this…thing." He said glaring at Jeremiah.

"So I know you're merely trying to defend him. And maybe he did get here by accident, but there is no way this idiot is a scientist." Jacques pointed a hand at him.

"Okay, he's got me there." Jem had to give him that one.

No way he could be a scientist.

"But I'll drop the charges as a sign of good faith." That was a relief.

"But he is to remain guarded in one of the guest rooms." Jacques said as they grabbed Jeremiah and one reached to Grab Nala.

"OW!" A guard yelled as Jeremiah punched him in the stomach and grabbed Nala way from the guards.

"Don't…touch…Nala…" He said as Nala looked happy.

"Oh daddy! You do care!" She hugged him as he looked at her.

"Yeah, come on Kid." He said as he picked her up and carried her.

"Do you really think you can get away with assaulting my guards?" Jacques said as Jeremiah shrugged.

"Don't you think you should get new guards if I took one out that easily?" He said as he walked out of the room, accompanied by Klein.

"I do say! It is nice to see Winter bonding with a man!" He said as he was escorting Jeremiah and Nala to a room.

"Hey thanks Little buddy." He was surprised at how short Klein was.

I mean, in the show he looks to be about the same height as Weiss, but even Jem was taller than Klein, and honestly this was the first time he felt tall around men. Most of them towered over him..it was kind of nice.

"Hey could I ask for a favor?" He asked as he whispered in Klein's ear.

"Why certainly Sir! Anything for this little cutie!" He said as he opened the door to Jem and Nala's room.

"Wooooaaahhhh." Jem looked around as he couldn't believe THIS was the guest room.

"I have to admit, I was half expecting Jacques to put us in a broom closet." Jem said as he put Nala down.

"I like that man! He has a mustache!" Nala giggled as Jem turned and looked at her.

"Oh? And what about my beard? Look at this thing? It's amazing." He said as he started petting his beard.

"Nah, your beard is too long, his Mustache is nice and trimmed." She said as Jem laughed.

"Oh Nala, you just don't know any better, Beards are so much better." He said as he had to admit, this whole parenting thing wasn't so bad.

Granted, he still couldn't believe that he was technically a father. Nala had told him what happened when he found her. Her parents had been killed a week earlier in a car accident, and Nala was the only survivor, but when they came to take her away to the orphanage, she ran away, she knew what happened to kids at those places, and no way was she ending up like them. So she just slept in the toy store, apparently the store owners didn't bother to check the kid tents set up in the camping section before they closed up. So he had a place to stay.

So that was why when Jeremiah saved her, she knew she had to follow him, he saved her, and he came back for her, surely he would take care of her.

Well, honestly he probably would, it may have been unexpected, but he couldn't just turn down a kid in need.

"Meh, if you say so." She said as she crawled underneath a desk.

"Uh..Nala…what are you doing?" He asked as he saw she had set up a blanket and pillows underneath the desk.

"I'm going to sleep!" She said as he looked at her.

"Uh, you realize you can use the bed right?" He asked as she shook her head.

"No, I like it here!" She said as she curled up and got comfortable.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Oh, well you may want to wait a bit." He said as he opened the door to see Klein.

"As you requested Sir!" Klein said in a jovial tone.

"Thanks Klein, you know, you're a really swell guy." He said as Klein's eyes changed colored.

"Come back any time, heh heh heh." He said as he walked away.

"Did…Did…he just sound like the guy from Resident Evil 4?" Seriously, he knew Klein's eyes and voice changed from time to time, but just then he sounded like the merchant.

Weird.

"Nala, I got something for you!" He said as he held something behind his back.

"What is it?" She asked as he held it out.

"While I don't usualy encourage violence as the first course of action." Nala's tail went down as she looked at the ground.

"That was also a really good kick." He complimented her as he held out a big cookie.

"Here, for you." He said as she smiled and beamed.

"Really?!" She said as she took it from him.

"Yep, I figure we could use a break." He siad as she split it in half.

"Share?" She asked as Jem thought his heart was going to explode.

"Kid…you keep acting like that, we're gonna have to find a way to weaponize your cuteness." He said as he ruffled her hair.

"Well…you two seem to be getting along." Winter said as Nala got happy.

"MOMMY!" She yelled as she hugged her legs.

"Oof…Nala…" Winter gave her a pat on the head.

Honestly, she still didn't know what to think of this. While she loved Jeremiah, she didn't expect to have kids now…if at all, honestly with her career at Atlas, she never saw herself as the motherly type. Especially due to her strict code of conduct. Yet, here she was patting a little faunus girl on the head.

"Mr. Mustache got me a cookie!" She handed a bit to Winter.

"Mr. Mustache? Oh..Klein…" Well he was going to appreciate that nickname.

"What are you doing here?" Jem asked as he didn't expect to see Winter again so soon.

"Well…I may have told Klein to escort you to my room." She said with a smile as Jem blushed.

"Oh, well uh, uhm…wow..I mean…" He said with a huge blush.

"Not in that way you pervert!" She said as she wasn't going to do that with NALA in the room.

"Oh…yeah..Of course! I knew that!" He said as he pulled his collar out a bit.

"Now lets just relax…" She said as she cuddled up with him on the bed.

"Hm? Don't you have work to do?" He asked as she laid her head on his chest.

"Nope, we're all turning in for the night, Ironwood's orders." She said as he smiled.

"In that case, cuddling sounds good." Suddenly he felt something pushing itself in between him and Winter.

"Me too!" Nala said as she was now being held by both.

"Nala? I thought you said you liked sleeping under the desk?" He asked as she nodded.

"I do! But I want family cuddles too!" She said as she closed her eyes.

"Family cuddles?" He asked as Nala fell straight asleep.

"Blake warned me that Faunus children could be….affectionate." Winter said as Nala was kind of like a kitten.

Meanwhile in his office, Jacques was talking with Whitley.

"You can't seriously be considering letting him go free." Whitley said as Jacques shook his head.

"No...but...I happen to know his real origin." Jacques said as he had connections with the council.

"And I don't think they would be happy to hear about an Alien to this world." He said as he picked up the phone.

"Origin? What are you talking about?" Whitley asked.

"Son, the benefit of being the supplier to numerous military organizations and governments, you get your hands on some classified information." Jacques knew who Jeremiah was.

He also knew what he meant to Winter. Together with that Faunus brat, he could embarass their family.

He would not have his daughter fall in love with a drunk!

That would tarnish the family name.

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"SIT! SIT! SIT!" Grandmama said as Cinder, Mercury, and Emerald were now out of the tattered rags they chose as a disguise.

Instead they were dressed fairly nice. Mercury was wearing a nice black jacket with slacks and a pair of dress shoes, with his hair being cut since Grandmama though it looked unprofessional. Cinder's appearance hadn't changed, except Grandmama had her dressed more modestly as she looked a bit like a lady of the night…that means prostitute. And Emerald was the most pissed off.

"Why do I get the stupid puffy dress…" She said as she Mercury had a smart ass smirk on his face.

"Hey, I got shit on my face trying to get in here, deal with it." He remembred that horrible memory.

He even saw the dog who did it sitting in the corner of the room staring at them with that dopey look on his face. Oh, how he hated that dog.

"Grandmama? Who are these children?" Momma said as Dale walked in with a bottle of moonshine.

"Indeed…." He looked Mercury deep in the eyes.

"You ain't one of them Clinton people are you?" He asked as Mercury was leaning back.

This guy smelled his dad.

"Uh…No?" He asked as Dale leaned back.

"Good, so you can't be bad." He said as Grandmama brought over food.

"Oh Dio Mio! I found these poor helpless souls on the side of the road, look at them! So Skinny! But not to worry, Grandmama will fix everythign!" And now it was the Team's turn to be surprised.

They saw her bringing over the plates of food, they assumed they would get their own food…they were wrong, Because Grandmama literally sat what looked to be party platters in front of them.

"Uh….Miss? Isn't this a bit-" Mercury was cut off by Grandmama looked horrified.

"Oh no! Thanks for reminding me! I left a few dishes in the kitchen!" She said as she went back into the kitchen.

"Wait…what did she say?" Cinder didn't believe she heard them right.

"Look, we're in, all we got to do is slip away after Dinner and search the house, it shouldn't be so har-" Cinder was cut off as more food was dumped on her plate.

"There we go! Even more for you to enjoy while I get back to work." Grandmama once again went back to the kitchen.

"G-Get back to work? But…does she not see the size of this thing?" Emerald decided to just go ahead and eat.

After all, she got vomited on by Mercury's shit breath, she could use a nice meal.

"Holy shit…" Mercury said as he took a bite.

"Guys…you got to try this stuff." He said as he took another bite.

"Oh come on Merc, it can't be that g-" Emerald was cut off by a bite.

"Oh…Oh my Oum…" Emerald was now taking bites out of her own plate.

Sprung on by curiousity. Cinder took a bite. And her eyes widened.

" _Good Oum, Is that what that crazy Redneck grew up on?"_ She had to admit, she may have been an evil cold hearted bitch who was out to gain power by killing a magical woman. But she would admit one thing.

This food…was….DELICIOUS.

"Come come! Eat! Eat!" Grandmama said as she continued to shovel food onto their plates.

"Uhm…Miss…" Emerald was a little freaked out.

"Oh Please! Call me Grandmama my little green water lily!" She said as she patted Emerald's head.

"Well, we haven't even finished our first plate yet, and you're piling more food on …" She said as Grandmama just laughed.

"Oh My sweet summer child, this is just the beginning, now eat!" She said as they all got back to eating.

"Uh..Cinder, remember when you said we would cut out to look around the house after dinner?" Mercury asked as she nodded in between bites.

"Yeah?" She asked as he looked at them.

"If she keeps feeding us like this, that is not going to happen anytime soon." Mercury couldn't stop eating, the food was good…really good…better than anything he had ever had.

Course, and it got the taste of his poo shower out of his mouth.

"Look, how bad could this be? I dout she can cook that much. We'll be out with the maiden before we know it."

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"It hurts…." Mercury said as he was starting to regret coming here.

"What is wrong with this woman?" Emerald asked as she felt like she was pregnant.

They both turned to Cinder, and honestly, they couldn't believe what they were looked like she was in an entirely different world. Beause her belly was sticking out, and her eyes were glazed over.

"It…It…..It hurts…so…much." Cinder had been through some painful times in her life.

But nothing as bad as your body feeling like it was exploding from the inside.

"We…We need to get out of here…" Emerald tried to sit up.

Only to realize her legs refused to carry her.

"No…" She whimpered as Grandmama came over.

"I hope you all saved room for dessert!" She said as she brought over a giant homemade chocolate cake.

"No…So…Full…" And then Mercury got a wiff of that cake.

That delicious…sweet…savory….Chocolate….Cake…

"Well…maybe I'll just have….one bite…" He said as he reached for a piece.

"Now that's what Grandmama likes to hear." She said as she gave Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury a piece.

Meanwhile, Cinder was texting Tigerstripe on the phone.

" _Tigerstripe…you have to come get us…"_ She texted as she got a message back.

" _Why what happened? Were you caught?"_ She asked as Cinder shook her head.

" _No…She…She justs keeping coming with food."_ Cinder couldn't work on a full stomach.

" _Oh for the love of…you seriously sat down for the entire meal?"_ That was a huge mistake.

" _We tried to go, but she kept bringing in more, and it was delicious, we haven't had a decent meal in ages…"_ Cinder for once didn't feel like an evil villain.

" _Look, in about ten minutes Grandmama is going to pass out on the couch, I'll be outside in the van, you run outside, and into the van."_ Tigerstripe texted as Cinder nodded.

"Come on guys…we need to go." Slowly, Cinder forced herself out of the chair.

"Dear god, look at the size of your ass." Mercury said as he swore it got bigger.

"Mercury…if you want to live..DO NOT SAY THAT AGAIN." Cinder glared with hatred in her eyes.

She may have been an evil villian, but every man knows you never insult a woman's ass.

Meanwhile, The evil trio is currently walking like the damn march of the penguins to the front door.

"Mercury, where are your pants?" Emerald asked as he looked down.

"I took them off when she brought out the Baklava." He said as he had to make room somehow.

That old lady could cook her ass off. It was no wonder that Tigerstripe was mad at them for staying so long. One thing was for sure, they would be full for a month after that meal. Even Cinder was having trouble waddling towards the door.

" _I'm outside the house, get ready to-"_ They were cut off by a war cry.

"DALE! THE BITCH IS OUTSIDE! LETS GET HER!" Momma said as she picked up her rifle and Dale came out with his rifle.

"GIVE US BACK OUR SON FURRY BITCH!" He said as he started firing rounds.

" _OH SHIT!"_ Tigerstripe cried over the phone as she drove off.

"No…Please..Don't leave us…" Mercury cried as they knew what they had to do.

"RUN!" They said as they waddled at high speeds.

Straight out the sliding glass door.

They didn't give a shit if they had to blow a hole in the wall, they needed to leave before they got any more food shoved down their throats.

"WHATTA MATTER? YOU NO LIKE IT?!" Grandmama said as she chased after them with food.

"Emerald! ILLUSION!" Cinder yelled as Emerald cast an illusion.

"Huh? What just happened?" Grandmama asked as they suddenly disappeared.

"Huh…maybe I shouldn't have smoked that joint before dinner." She walked back in the house.

"Damn, I hallucinated all that didn't I?" She asked herself.


	73. An American Breakfast

**Okay, so here we go again, Honestly, I'm not sure about what to do with Nala, while Winter and Jem are now here new parents, its hard to write bonding scenes, so right now they're pretty much stumbling trying to figure out what to do.**

 **But don't worry, they will get their cute moments.**

* * *

"What were you idiots thinking?!" Tigerstripe yelled at the three who were currently resting on top of the bed.

"We were thinking we could find the maiden after we finished dinner…" Cinder started

"But it just kept coming and coming…" Emerald remembered all the food.

"And you wanted to stop, but the food was so good…" He had never eaten that well in his life.

"Of course it was good! But once you sit down, you can never leave! You're lucky you were at least able to waddle out of there!" Tigerstripe couldn't believe this.

"Hey, its better than trying to dig a tunnel underneath the wall and getting covered in dog shit." Mercury would take a full stomach over dog shit any day.

"Well I suppose I should be grateful you weren't killed or injured." But how are you going to get back in now?

"With this." Emerald said as she held up a set of keys.

"Wait, when did you get those?" Cinder asked as Mercury looked surprised.

"I took them from the crazy guy when he leaned in to ask if Mercury was one of those Clinton people." She said as both Cinder and Mercury glared at her.

"You mean we could have left at any time?" They said as Emerald looked down.

"Well…the food was good, and come on, we had been eating nothing but lucky charms on the road!" She defended her reason for staying.

"Fair enough, but we could have left when she started bringing out the lasagna." Mercury's stomach still hadn't recovered.

"Look, we'll go back tomorrow night, if we have the keys to the wall, we should be fine, then we'll search the house, and see if we can find anything." Cinder said as they all nodded.

"Good Idea, in the meantime, Mercury, you get the floor, Emerald, you get the second bed, and I get this one." Cinder said as Mercury groaned.

"Could I for once not get the short end of the stick?" He said as Cinder glared.

"Fine, I guess Chivalry is dead, Emerald you get the floor." She said as Emerald turned to glare at Mercury.

"You're a douche." Emerald glared as Mercury just stuck his tongue out.

"Tell you what, since this whole escapade, I now have a permanently scarred penis, hit by a car, electro cuted, shit on by a dog with diarrhea, and now I am officially stuffed like a turkey, I think you can handle sleeping on the floor for one night!" He said as he put his head to the pillow and fell asleep.

"You're still a douche." Emerald put her head on the ground with just her blanket and a small pillow.

"I knnnooooowwww." Mercury taunted in his sleep.

 **OUTSIDE THE WALL**

"Woah, they have their own wall?" Blaze asked as Cristofer glared at it.

"I…Hate…Walls…" Cristofer said as he glared at it.

"Look come on, lets go in and tell them what we have so far." Blaze said as Ms. Penny was following behind as she had a cute leash and collar, with the collar saying 'Daddy's little princess' on it.

He had to work very hard to convince the lady at the store he bought the collar from that the collar was for a tiger and not for some BDSM fetish play. He only convinced her when Ms. Penny walked into the store because Blaze forgot to feed her that day.

"Come Ms. Penny!" He said as they walked through the door of the wall.

"DALE! VISITORS! AND THEY GOT A JUNGLE CAT!" Momma yelled as Dale came out with a shotgun.

"Oh, just the detective!" He said as he ran up to Blaze and Cristofer.

"We saw her detective! She was here last night! The bitch who took our son!" Dale said as Cristofer groaned.

"Are you freaking kidding me?! I go all over the States looking for her, and she shows up in your yard." Cristofer was pissed as he walked into the backyard to go and shoot at random targets to work his stress out.

"Meow." Ms. Penny said as Dale took a step back.

"Wait a minute! Is that a tiger?" He couldn't believe his eyes.

"Yep! We found Ms. Penny here in Tigerstripe's basement, I've been feeding her tuna and old pizza!" Blaze said as he pet Ms. Penny on the head.

And she just leaned into his hand as her tail was wagging like a dog.

"Damn, that's bad ass kid." He said as Zeus came out.

" _Greetings Big Master! How is-"_ Zeus was cut off as the tiger started staring at him.

She stared at him.

He stared right back.

"Oh no..this isn't going to be one of those cats and dogs fight is it?" Dale was really hoping it wouldn't be.

"Uh…she doesn't look mad…" If you looked closely.

W…Were those anime hearts?

"MEOW!" She started chasing Zeus.

" _Oh dear heavens!"_ Zeus was now running away.

"Huh, your dog is a pussy magnet." Blaze made a bad joke as Dale looked at him.

"…Okay, maybe I should have kept that joke to myself." He said as he saw Ms. Penny trying to pounce on Zeus.

"Reminds me of that picture, my mother was a tiger, and my father a very brave dog…" Dale said, except this time the dog was running away from the tiger.

"It's kind of disturbing, its almost like a mirror of real life…." Blaze turned heads at that.

"What do you mean?" Dale asked as Blaze looked odd.

"Well, a tiger hunting after an unwilling subject who may or may not be their little wolf? Or in this case, little doggy?" He pointed out as Dale shivered.

"Yeah, I'm going to need you to do me a favor and just shut up about that." Okay, fair enough, no one like hearing about their son's furry stalker fetish.

"Still though, why would she come back here? You said you saw her last night, why would she show up all of a sudden?" Blaze couldn't figure out why someone would be willingly putting themselves in the spot light.

"I don't know, maybe she's planning on getting us next?" Suddenly Dale went pale at that.

"Oh god…she wants a wolf pack…." Dale was suddenly scared.

 **ON REMNANT**

"Daaadd! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!" Nala said as she was poking Jem in the side of the face.

"Your daughter is awake…" Winter mumbled sleepily.

"Before Sunrise, she's your daughter." Great, so this was how Mufasa felt.

"Daadd! I'm hungry!" Nala was hungry, and she didn't know where to go.

"Okay, okay…" He said as he got up.

Just in time for the sun to get him in the eyes. Covering his face from the sting of the light, he noticed that it was in fact morning. Only one problem.

"Whats wrong Daddy?" Nala asked as she noticed that Jem looked at Winter.

"Uhm Winter, where do we go to eat?" He asked as Winter mumbled.

"Breakfast is usually served at 9, it's only 8." She said as Nala looked down.

"Well where is the kitchen?" He was up, so he might as well get something to eat.

"Down the hall and to the left. Down some stairs, take another left, up some stairs, then take an elevator. And the it should be the fifth door on the right side of the hall." She said as he now noticed she was talking in her sleep.

"Huh, I just noticed something…" For some reason he wasn't acting like a zombie trying to get coffee this morning.

Maybe Aura had something to do with it, he didn't know, but one thing was for sure, he was hungry, and so was Nala, so might as well go and cook something up really quick. Not something fancy, his cooking skills were pretty limited, he could cook basic meals, mostly because when you're single, you eat the same thing all the time or you order in, but since he hadn't been single for awhile, he now had to act like he was a cultured cook, when in reality, he was pretty much the equivalent of a redneck cooking with a shovel.

Which surprisingly works really well when you're cooking a steak. Just heat up a clean shower over a fire, and damn you get a fine steak.

"Daddy, what are we going to eat?" Nala asked as he was following Winter's directions.

"It will depend on what there is." He said as she looked down from her perch on his shoulders.

"There's going to be meat right?" He looked as if he was offended.

"Of course there will be! What kind of man do you take me for? No meat, that's crazy talk!" He joked, but at the same time he was serious.

He was a MAN! He ate meat! As any real American would!

"Mmkay." She said as he couldn't understand this place.

"Why the hell would I go down some stairs and then up some stairs almost immediately? Did Jacques build this place just to say he has 'F you' money?" Jem mumbled under his breath as there seemed to be a lot of pointless architecture choices.

"Daddy, whats that?" Nala asked as she pointed to a nude marble statue of a man.

"THAT!" He began.

"…is not something you need to know about for thirty years." He said as he couldn't believe how much he was acting like his dad.

His dad constantly said that to his sister Sherry, and it pissed her off to no end, either way, he was certain that his dad would be laughing if he saw Jem now. Hell, Qrow may have even gotten a kick out of it.

"Ah here we go!" He said as he opened the door.

Only to see numerous workers, both Faunus and Human staring back at him.

"Sir! You can't be back here!" The rabbit faunus chef said as he walked in.

"Look buddy, I'm just here to get something quick for my daughter here, can you cut us some slack?" He asked as the chef seemed surprised the man had a faunus for a daughter.

"We can't let anyone back here!" He said as one spoke up.

"Come on Bugs, give it a rest." Another rabbit faunus named Lola said as she wiped her hands.

"Wait a minute…Bugs? Your name is Bugs?" Jeremiah had a shit eating grin on his face.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that Doc?" Suddenly Jeremiah started laughing.

"Daddy?" Nala was confused.

"Oh you got to be kidding me! BUGS BUNNY!" He said as the man looked confused.

Okay, so apparently this human was crazy.

"Look, we can let you in, just keep quiet!" Lola said as Jeremiah had to resist the urge to laugh as he noticed her nametag said Lola.

He was surprised; Jacques had Faunus workers in his kitchen? That was a shock.

"Uh, don't mean to be rude, but, I guess I wasn't expecting Jacques to hire….well.." How did he not sound like a dick while trying to ask a question?

"Hire Faunus workers? Well, he didn't, we were hired by the head chef, Jacques never comes down to the kitchens, so he doesn't know we're down here." Lola said as she showed Jeremiah what was going to be the breakfast for the day.

"The hell is that?" He asked as he looked at a tiny plate with what appeared to be a tiny serving of eggs and bread.

"Today's breakfast." Jeremiah shook his head at that.

"Uh, no, that is not breakfast, you're joking right?" He asked as Lola shook her head.

"Mr. Schnee gave orders to our boss to prepare a meal fitting for a civilized gathering of friends at breakfast." She said as Jem shook his head.

"Yeah, screw that, tell you what, if you can bring me some pancake batter, some bacon, and some eggs, we'll be good." He said as Lola gave him a weird look.

"Uhm, okay." What was he going to do?

"Daddy, what are you doing?" Nala asked as he gave her a look.

"Nala, I took you in…so it's only natural I treat you to a proper american breakfast." He said as everyone looked confused.

"Proper American breakfast?" Nala had no idea what an American was.

"Yep, now quick question, what's your favorite type of gun?"

 **ONE HOUR LATER**

"WHAT IS THIS?" Jacques and Whitley were confused by their plates.

"We're sorry sir! We tried to stop him!" The head chef was apologizing as Jacques facepalmed.

"How could he have gotten past the guards and into the kitchen and made this?!" He couldn't believe what was on his face.

"Whatever, it's actually kind of good." Whitley said as he took a bite.

Now that was a shock, Whitley was eating commoner food. Course, there was one thing that was really bothering him.

"Why do we all have a gun on th side?" Whitley asked as sure enough, they all had a handgun at the side.

"Hey, I said I was making an American Breakfast." Jem said as he was currently eating Bacon.

And he did, the meal consisted of scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes deep fried in bacon grease, it was freaking delicious! But of course, he did also steal from the Schnee Guard armory to put the guns on the table as well.

"You gave Nala a gun?!" Winter said as she noticed Nala had on too.

"I got my first gun at that age!" Jem said as Winter rolled her eyes.

"You're crazy! She's not!" Okay, that was kind of true.

"Relax! I already taught her how to safely handle one. And that's why hers is in her holster." He said as Winter walked up to Nala.

"Nala, sweetie, could you please hand over your weapon?" Winter asked as Nala handed it over.

"….You disappoint me child….an American never gives up their gun that easily…." Nala just continued to eat.

"She'll get it back when she's older, and what were you thinking?" She didn't know what kind of response he would give.

"What? My daddy taught me how to shoot at a young age." He said as Winter rolled her eyes.

"That's because your father taught you at the ripe age of TWO!"

"Oh? So it's okay! Nala is about six! So she's behind schedule!"

"Oh for Oum's sake! No teaching OUR DAUGHTER TO SHOOT!" Suddenly Winter clasped her hands around her mouth as she saw her father drop his fork.

"Come again?" He said as he wasn't sure he heard Winter right.

"…" Winter knew she had to come clean now.

"I said….no teaching our daughter to shoot…" Winter said as she knew this was not going to go over well.

"I see…" He stood up from the table.

"I believe I should get back to work, the company is rather…." He glared at Nala as she ate.

"Rowdy." He said as he walked away.

Whitley decided to take his breakfast with him to his room, this may have been commoner food, but it was surprisingly delicious.

"Now can I teach her?" Jem said as he was worried what Jacques would do.

"….Small Caliber, nothing too big…." Winter didn't believe her father would do anything crazy.

But she didn't like that look in his eye as he left.

But that didn't mean she still wasn't mad at Jem for giving their daughter a freaking 44 magnum.

"But you and I are going to have a TALK about your parenting." Winter glared as Jem shrunk back.

"Hehe, pussy whipped." Qrow said to himself as Jem glared.

 **ON EARTH**

"I don't think I can walk right now.." Emerald and Mercury were sharing a bed, their clothes were off, and the had satisfied looks on their faces.

Well, what do you expect? It was bound to happen sooner or later.

The post meal coma, it was coming soon. They were both in such bliss that they didn't even care that they were half naked while laying next to each other.

They had to take their pants off because their clothes were too constricting due to the food in their stomachs.

What? You thought they were having sex?

Pfft, yeah right.

Emerald would never have sex with a man who vomited dog shit on her.

The weird part was, they had gone to sleep for the night, the post meal coma was only now hitting them and putting them back into a deep sleep.

Somehow Emerald ended up on the bed in the middle of the night, and she had been hogging the blankets from Mercury.

"I still managed to steal the cake…" Mercury had picked it up when he was waddling away.

"Good, didn't want to miss out on that, but maybe after we finish digesting." Emerald said as she put a hand on her belly.

"I STILL can't believe you were so reckless!" Tigerstripe yelled as this was not good.

They had already had this conversation, but she was so mad that she felt the need to yell at them again.

"You could have warned us that the old lady could cook her ass off!" Cinder did not enjoy having to sit down and force herself to eat copious amounts of food.

Well, it wasn't forced, but she still didn't like being briefed on her cooking ability beforehand. All she knew was that the old lady liked to cook. But that was enough food to feed an entire team of Huntsman! How the heck did she do that? Was she some kind of super huntsman? Was she a goddess? HOW DID SHE DO IT?! Even Cinder had a hard time walking, and that was with Mercury constantly poking fun at her ass. She kicked him in the balls for that. Her ass was perfectly fine and round the way it was.

"Look, I say we still have til tonight til we can finally move again, especially since it's morning and I still can't get out of Bed." Cinder tried and failed to get out, but the food was too great.

"Just make sure not to do anything too stupid." Tigerstripe said as she played with her tiger tail plug.

"Relax, after Mercury's dog escapade, the food escapade, I think we should be fine." Cinder turned on the TV.

" _We now return to 'Keeping up with the kardashians!"_ Cinder watched about five minutes of the program before she changed the channel.

"What was that garbage?" She narrowed her eyes at this worlds choice of TV.

" _Yo Yo Yo! Welcome to the Jersey Shore!"_ That was immediately turned off.

"Oh god, that was even worse." She said as another channel flipped by.

" _You're fired!"_ Meh, that seemed boring.

"That guy looked pissed off." She flipped through the channels again.

Seemed like there was nothing of interest on the TV.


	74. Something Beautiful

**So I got this done the same night I published the last chapter, but I waited to publish it, mostly because I had work to do the day after, so here we go. I hope you all enjoy it.**

* * *

So Winter and Jeremiah were currently locked in Winter's room. She was pacing back and forth with Nala's pistol in her hand. Jeremiah took a sip of the stolen bottle of wine he got out of the wine rack in the kitchen. Why? Well because he figured that alcohol might be a good thing to have if Winter was going to lecture him.

"You realize my father is going to be pissed when he finds out you're drinking his vintage wine." She said as Jem shrugged.

"Honestly this tastes just like the three dollar bottle of wine I get at Aldi." He said as it tasted the same.

"Whatever, what were you thinking giving Nala a gun?" She asked as Jem sighed.

"Well, one was to piss your father off, and two, because honestly, if things do turn out as bad as they did in Volume 3, I want her to be able to have some sort of defense." He said as she held up a hand.

"And I could understand the reason behind that…IF you didn't give her a HAND CANNON." She specified the fact that he had gotten her a 44.

A six year old couldn't handle a 44 magnum, it would blow them back a few feet.

"Okay, that might have been a mistake, but she said it was her favorite gun…actually made me tear up a bit in pride." He said as he wiped away a fake tear.

"Oh you got to be kidding me, this isn't the US, you just can't randomly give Children guns!" She said as Jem took a step back.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Hold on there! Responsible gun owners like me do not give a gun to someone unless we are certain they can handle it, here let me show you, NALA!" He yelled as he unlocked the door.

"Yeah Daddy?" She asked as he handed her a pistol.

"What are the rules I taught you?" He asked as she took the pistol, opened the chamber, looked to make sure the cylinder was empty. Snapped it back into place, all while her finger was off the trigger, and was not pointing at anyone.

"Don't point it anything you don't intend to shoot, finger off the trigger unless you plan to shoot, and treat every gun as if it is loaded." She recited as he ruffled her hair.

"Good, and what don't we like?" He said as she smiled.

"Liberals!" She said as he smiled.

"That's my girl!" He ruffled her hair as he took his gun back.

She went back outside to play with Ruby and Nora. Winter just sighed as she looked at him with an incredulous look.

"I swear, that kid already has a better understanding of guns than most politicians." He said as he walked over to Winter.

"I'm still worried about her." She said as Jem put a hand up.

"It's okay, I'll start her off with a smaller pistol, and won't give her the 44 magnum until she's older, and it's not like she'll have to actually shoot someone, if anything I'll just teach her to hunt and shoot at targets." He said as Winter rolled her eyes.

"Okay, but I swear to god if you teach her to fire that damn howitzer you have at home…" Jem groaned as he knew this.

"Really? You are never going to let that go?" It had been over a year since then.

"You still cheated…" She never got over that.

"I did not, you said I could!" He defended himself.

"I didn't mean use a artillery cannon!" She said as she started play fighting with him.

He chuckled as he started tickling her sides, her gigglign causing her resolve to weaken as he tackled her onto the bed and pinned her while tickling her sides.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA A!" She was laughing as he found a sensitive spot right above the hip and close to her sides.

"Oh? Did I find a sensitive spot?" He said as he continued to tickle her.

"NO! NOT AT ALL!" Winter tried to keep her laughs in, but she couldn't.

"Hmm, I wonder if your feet are ticklish…" He said as he noticed she took her boots off.

"NO! DON'T EVEN T-" She was cut off as he started tickling her feet.

"NO BWA HA HA HA!" She said as she hated being tickled because she was so sensitive.

"Wow, I barely even did anything." He said as Winter spread her legs, wrapped them around him, and then threw him onto the bed and pinned him.

"Don't hesitate when you have an advantage." She said with a smirk as she pinned him.

"Hmm, I can't say I hate this position." He said as Winter chuckled.

She took a deep breath as she leaned down and kissed him ever so gently. He kissed her back as he placed a hand gently on the back of her head, deepening the kiss as their bodies grew closer together. Her hair falling down as she let it out of her bun, it fell onto his chest as she pressed her breasts against his chest, their chests moving in sync as they took a breath in and breathed out.

"Jem…" She said as she pulled away.

"Yeah?" He asked her as she looked nervous.

"Uhm, it is going to be a little cold in here…all alone…" She said as she looked away shyly.

"Oh…do you want me to turn the heat up?" He asked as she deadpanned.

"I was thinking more…you could stay in here with me…" She said as he nodded.

"Well yeah, I stayed in here last night too." He said as she groaned.

"Oh for Oum's sake! I'm talking about SEX YOU DUMMY!" She yelled as Jem's eyes went wide.

"Jem?" She asked as she noticed his face had gone atomic red.

And then it dawned on her what she just said, and she put her face in her palms. Did she really just say that? She got that it was a romantic time, and they were both in the mood after play fighting, but was it too soon? Was he ready for this? Was she ready for this? So many questions.

"Uh, Oh UHM! Are…Are you sure?" Jem was like a teenager at Prom.

"Uh….Yes…Yes…I'm sure." She said as she looked shy.

"Uhm, okay, uh…how do we….do it?" Winter looked at him.

"I thought you would know?" She asked as Jem looked away.

"Winter…you saw the Lord of the rings Memoribilia in my room, I'm obviously a virgin." He said as she blushed.

"Me too…" Now this was getting awkward.

"Well, how about I start like this…" He said as he gave her a kiss.

Not a crazy makeout kiss, but one full of passion and eagerness.

This…would be interesting.

" _I've been really trrrrryyyying baby!"_ Music started to play as Winter turned on the radio.

Meanwhile right outside the door.

"Auntie Blake, why is that music playing?" Nala said as she went to open the door.

"Uhm! Nala! Sweetie! How about we get you some ice cream!" Blake said as she knew that music very well.

"Okay!" Nala said as she skipped down the hallway.

"….If they're doing what I think they're going, Jem owes me big time."

 **LATER ON EARTH**

"Okay, are we ready to go?" Cinder asked as Mercury and Emerald nodded.

"Yep, we're good." They had their weapons and their stealth outfits.

"Good, lets go." Cinder said as she unlocked the gate to the wall.

CLICK

And just like that, it was open, with almost no effort whatsoever. Cinder smirked at their luck. For once things in this world were looking up. Emerald got the tracker out as they opened the door to the house. Wow, it said that the Maiden was in the house somewhere, preferabbly in the center based on what they could find. Well that made things easier.

"Just remember to keep quiet, who knows who we could wake up.." Cinder whispered as they nodded.

They walked into the dining room area, all they saw was a bunch of dirty dishes stacked on top of each other. And what appeared to be a dog sleeping in the corner.

"Hang on…" Mercury said as he picked up a kitchen knife.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Emerald whispered aggressively.

"Taking revenge…" He said as Cinder glared at him.

"No, the dog is just laying there, and we shouldn't draw attention to ourselves." Cinder said as Mercury grumbled.

"Okay, I'll take the upstairs, Mercury, you take the basement, Emerald, you take this area." Cinder said as they all nodded and split up.

Mercury went down the stairs into the basement, Cinder took the route upstairs, her steps were as silent as a cat. While Emerald just started looking around the living room.

"Okay, what do they got?" She asked as she scanned the bookshelves.

But her interest wasn't peaked until she fond a computer that was still turned on. Maybe the owners forgot to turn it off when they were done with it.

"Hmm, I wonder…" She thought as she went into Google Chrome.

"Let's see…Emerald Sustrai…" She said as she typed in her mind.

Only to see her name appear at the top of the page along with images of her, but most prominent was a website called RWBYwiki. She knew that in this world she was part of a tv show, but it was still weird to see it. Her curiosity getting the best of it, she clicked on the link.

" _Hmm, says here I was based on….well possibly based on Aladdin? Who the heck is that? Woah, they even have my outfit from when I first met Cinder."_ She said as it was a little weird that they had her personal information on here.

 **WITH MERCURY**

"What…the…fuck…" Mercury did not like parts of this dungeon.

At first it was cool stuff like weapons and computers. But then he found a secret door and it led to some weird sex dungeon. Needless to say, he didn't want to know what the whips and chains were for. And frankly he was really disturbed, the couple who owned this house seemed pretty conservative, who would have thought they were into some fucked up shit like this?

"What the hell is this?" He asked as he read the label on the drink.

"Blue Raspberry? Hmm, I like Blue Raspberry." He said as he decided to drink it.

However, if he had bothered to take a closer look, he would have noticed that it said on the side…

"BLUE RASPBERY VIAGRA LIQUID FORM! MASTER STRENGTH! YOU HAVE THE GIRTH! SHE GIVE THE BIRTH! NOW YOU'RE PLAYING WITH POWER!" Was what the bottle said.

Mercury let out a sigh of joy as he finished the drink, he had to admit that was pretty good. He put the bottle down as he got out of the sex dungeon and continued to explore the basement.

Only one problem, that bottle wasn't meant to be completely finished, you were only supposed to take a few steps, and he consumed the whole bottle.

One thing was sure, things were about to get harder for him.w

 **CINDER**

"Is that a tiger?" She asked as she passed by the rooms, one had a guy holding a magazine titled 'Futas in boots.' He also had his hand down his pants, so she decided to ignore him.

She saw some crazy pissed off Mexican sleeping in the other room like Dracula in his coffin. So she decided to ignore him as well. And she sure as hell wasn't going to go into the room next door, she heard…strange noises coming from there.

" _BELT! WHIP! CHAIN!"_ She heard muffled words coming from the other side.

"Eeew…" She shivered as she realized the couple here were freaks…

"Still no Maiden…" She said as she walked back downstairs.

"Anything?" She asked as Emerald was on the computer.

"Couldn't find anything, did you know that Crocodiles sometimes eat their own young?" Emerald asked as Cinder was confused.

"What?" She asked as Emerald was on the internet.

"Sorry, Animal Planet documentary, its some good stuff." She had gotten addicted to it.

"Where is Mercury?" Cinder asked as she saw a door was closed.

"In the bathroom, he seemed a little panicked." Cinder walked over to the bathroom door.

"COME ON! GO DOWN!" She heard a voice say.

"Mercury, what did you find?" Cinder asked as she noticed Mercury seemed…frustrated.

"Nothing! Go away!" He said as she heard the sound of what appeared to be…lotion being applied.

"Merc, we have to OH MY FUCKING OUM!" She yelled as she walked in on him.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" He yelled as he was furiously trying to get rid of a problem.

"WHAT IS THAT NOISE?!" They heard a voice from upstairs.

"Oh shit!" Emerald and Cinder got up to leave.

"Wait!" Mercury went to run after them.

Only for him to be running slowly since his pants were still around his ankles. So he was going slower.

"MELANIA HIRSCH! IS THAT YOU!" They could hear Dale coming down the stairs.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Mercury yelled as Cinder and Emerald were already out the door.

"Come on Merc!" Emerald yelled as he attempted to step it up a bit.

Only one problem, he tripped over his jeans, and he slid forward…on the pavement…with his pants off….and a rock hard penis.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He yelled as he felt the friction burn as he continued to slide across.

"Oooooohhhhhhh." If Emerald had a penis….she would be feeling sorry for him.

 **IN REMNANT**

"Winter? What's with you?" Weiss asked as Winter came down to join them for dinner.

"Me? Nothing." She said as she looked to be in a good mood.

"Don't give me that, something happened." Weiss said as she knew Winter was happy about something.

"Yeah come on Winter, I know that look, something happened." Qrow walked in as Winter blushed.

"I swear! Nothing has changed."

 **IN WINTER'S ROOM**

"Sometimes…." Jeremiah grinned in pride as he had his music playing as he walked over to Winter's balcony.

"Something Beautiful happens in this world…" The music continued as he was singing along to it.

"You don't know how to express yourself…" He opened the balcony as he stepped out into the wind.

"So you just gotta sing…." He took a deep breath in.

 **Back With Winter**

"Look, Nothing happened, I am completley fi-" Suddenly a voice sang out.

"I JUST HAD SEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXX!" Winter froze as she heard Jeremiah singing out.

Jeremiah had no idea that the acoustics of the house and courtyard acted as a speaker, the acoustics were amazing.

So the problem was...he had no idea everyone could hear him.

"AND IT FELT SO GOOOOOOOOOD!" He continued to sing as Winter laid her head down on the table in embarrassment.

"W-WHAT?!" Weiss yelled as she knew it had to be true if Winter looked embarassed.

Meanwhile Qrow, even though he knew he didn't have much of a right to say it. He leaned his head out the window and screamed out.

"THAT'S MY BOY!"

 **WITH JACQUES**

"And that is why our investments would best be better off in Mistral as opposed to Va-" Jacques was meeting with his business partners as he heard a voice sing out.

"WINTER LET ME PUT MY PENIS INSIDE OF HEEEEERRR!" He froze as he heard that voice.

"W-WHAT?" He asked in blind rage.

"Wow…was not expecting that…" His business partner said as Jacques looked pissed.

"I JUST HAD SEEEEEEXXX, AND I'LL NEVER GO BAAACCK! TO THE NOT HAVING SEX WAYS OF THE PASSSSST!" The damn song just existed to piss Jacques off.

"HE…DID….THAT…." Jacques gripped his pencil so hard that it broke.

"Are you okay Mr. Schnee?" The woman said as she was laughing at his expression.

"I'm just fine…" He said as he hoped those council members sent their secret police soon.

He would not stand for this any longer.


	75. Big Mistake

**Okay, so I just came to the realization that I have been writing these chapters completely sober since chapter 58, so I just wanted to hear your opinions, is my writing better when I'm sober? Or do you prefer the drunken antics? I mean either way I'm not going back to drinking that much, but I was just curious.**

* * *

"I JUST HAD SEEEX- WOAH!" They heard the noise of Jeremiah being tackled.

After Winter got over her initial embarassment. She immediately ran back up to her room. Passing by numerous servants who were giving her congratulations, and of course some who were laughing, as well as some who looked digusted. But she still ran all the way up there.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Qrow and the others heard her yell.

"Just singing! What was with the tackle?!" They heard Jem yell.

"YOU IDIOT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!" Qrow had to resist the urge to laugh.

"WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE HEARD ME!" Oh boy, he made a mistake there.

"EVERYONE HEARD YOU!"

"Wait…What?" They heard his voice getting quiet.

"YES! DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR SOUND TRAVELS IN THIS PLACE! EVERYONE IN THIS MANSION KNOWS! YOU'RE LUCKY NALA WAS ASLEEP WHEN YOU STARTED SINGING!" Wow, Winter was pissed.

"Wait…so everybody knows?" Suddenly Jeremiah's tone took a panicked voice.

"Obviously! I'm lucky you didn't go into details! Do you have any idea how embarassing it would be if they found out I gave you a b-" Suddenly they heard Jeremiah make a shushing noise.

"Uh, Winter, if everyone could hear me from up here…is yelling while we're still on the balcony the bets option?" Suddenly there was silence….

"Get inside, I'll yell at you in there." They heard the sound of a chuckle.

"You're lucky if we ever have sex again after this!"

Qrow winced at that, but then he brightened up, for one reason. His son was a man now!

 **AN HOUR LATER**

Jeremiah was really starting to wish he hadn't starting singing because here he was now in Jacque's office with Winter, and a bunch of guards, while Jacques was sitting there with a pistol.

"Sooo…Uh, beautiful day huh?" He wasn't scared of Jacques, but right now, he was a little concerned with that pistol.

"Do you have any idea what I do to hold this families reputation to a high standard?" Jacques asked as he fiddled with a magazine.

"Uh, well…" Jem had to resist the urge to be a smart ass.

"I have built this company into what it is today, and I hold my children to the same standard, and I HATE when people seek to RUIN that image." He glared at Jem as he looked at Winter.

"While I can understand your…needs having to be taken care of…" Jacques turned to glare at Jeremiah again.

"THIS….was the best you could do?" Winter hardened her gaze a bit.

"He may be an idiot, but he is far from a bad guy." She said coming to Jem's defense.

Even though she spent the last hour yelling at him for singing about their sex life, it wasn't like she stopped loving him then. Besides, it was…kind of a honest mistake. Although now she had to deal with some of the servants looking at her in a funny way.

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far, I read Ironwood's report on him, I find it rather…Barbaric what I found." He sad as he held up a file.

"Scalping an enemy? That's the true quality of a barbarian." He said as Jem went silent.

"That enemy was going to kill us if I didn't kill him…" Jem said as Winter looked at him.

"So you thought the best course of action was to act like a savage?" Jacques caught Jem in a trap.

"That guy was part of the group that organized the attack on Vale! Yeah, I was pissed when I did it, and maybe it was excessive, but what did you expect?! Do you want me to charm my enemies to death!" Jem was restrained as he tried to stand up, only to be grabbed by the guards.

"Oh? And here you are, reacting violently to these accusations, hardly becoming of a gentleman." Jacques said as he looked to Winter.

"And this savage is the one you love?" Jacques asked his daughter.

In truth, Winter knew about the scalping incident, she would admit, she was disgusted by what Jeremiah told her, but, she also knew that times of war, especially after he had seen people dying and burning in front of him would cause great stress. She knew the story, they wanted to take Nala, and he wouldn't let them, so he killed them. She never would have thought that Jeremiah would have it in him, but he did it to protect Nala, he didn't do it out of sick satisfaction?

Did he? He may be proud of his viking heritage, but he didn't seek to gain glory through battle?

Or did he?

"Yes…I love him…" Winter said as she knew Jeremiah wasn't a bad man.

"Well…then say Goodbye." Jacques said as a Guard punched Jem in the stomach and grabbed him.

"OOF! What the hell?" Suddenly men in long leather coats burst into the room.

"Is this the one?" They asked as Jacques nodded.

"Yes, this is the alien." He said as Winter looked up.

"What?!" She asked as there was no way her father should have known about that.

"Do you really think I didn't find out who he was? As soon as he assaulted me the first time, I had all my sources try and find information on him, imagine my surprise when a secret informant gives me information of a man from another world, granted I didn't expect it to be your boy toy, but never the less, the results are the same. And apparently according to the council, he was still in his world, imagine their surprise when I informed them of his arrival." He narrowed his eyes as Winter felt the urge to punch her father.

"You knew this whole time…" She clenched her fist.

"Wow…Gestapo." Jem said as he felt a tazer to the neck.

"OW!" He said as it didn't matter if he had Aura now, getting tazed sucked.

"What are you doing?" Winter asked as she had guns trained on him.

"They're taking him away, surely you know how the council feels about this man?" Jacques asked as Winter narrowed her eyes.

It was true, the council did not like Jeremiah, hell, when they came back from his world. The council forced them to undergo a quarantine to make sure they didn't bring back any diseases from that world. It was a miracle that they got out when they did. Otherwise the council would have kept them under lock and key for who knows how long.

Even Ironwood was keeping the secret from the council, but now her father had spoiled it.

"Let him go!" Winter said as they lead Jem out the door.

"I'm afraid they don't answer to you Winter…" Jacques grinned behind his hands.

Finally, he would get rid of this stain on the face of the earth.

 **Outside the door**

"HE IS SO DEAD!" Weiss said as she was stomping down the hall.

"Geez Weiss, lighten up!" Yang hadn't stopped laughing since she heard the song.

"HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER!" She knew that was bound to happen with couples, but he had broken the one rule that Weiss and his Momma set for him!

"NO DING DING WITHOUT THE WEDDING RING!" She yelled as the two teams followed behind her.

Ruby was just laughing at Weiss. Blake was blushing since she couldn't believe her assumption was correct in Winter and Jeremiah having sex. Yang hadn't stopped laughing since she heard the song, and don't even mention JNPRs reaction.

Jaune while slightly disgusted was also happy for the two of them. Pyrrha just shook her head at Jeremiah's way of expressing his happiness with the situation, Ren was internally laughing, and Nora was too busy trying to make Bacon fried pancakes to focus on the whole situation.

And Qrow, Qrow had actually had a look of pride on his face, he may have only known Jeremiah was his son for a few days, but already the kid had surpassed him in one way. He tamed a woman that even Qrow thought was impossible, and he could get behind that.

However, their thoughts were quickly shot down as they saw uniformed men surrounding Jeremiah, the most puzzling thing was that his hands were bound.

"What is the meaning of this?" Weiss asked as she was pissed, but she wasn't going to arrest him.

"Council orders, this man is to be detained." The man in the dark glasses said as Qrow stepped up.

"On what charges?" Qrow really wished he had his weapons on him.

"Assassination and espionage." He said as they were leading Jeremiah out.

"What the?" Qrow didn't know what was going on.

Jeremiah was in trouble…

 **Outside the Mansion**

"I have an appointment with Mr. Schnee himself!" Lisa Lavender said as she was scheduled to give an interview.

"And I keep telling you! You'll have to wait while we inspect your crew!" The guard at the gate said as sh rolled her eyes.

"We've been here for three hours! It doesn't take that long to inspect a camera crew or a van!" She was irritated with this guard.

She had been scheduled to give an Interview to the Schnee dust company CEO, but they had been delayed. First it was because he was busy with a meeting, which was fine, but then it went on for an hour behind schedule. And then just as he finished it, the guard said he had to deal with an unwelcome interruption, and now here they were having their crew and their equipment being checked to make sure it was safe and not an assassination attempt.

It was a waste of time! Did these people not know who she was? For Oum's sake, she wasn't an assassin! But then again, she heard Mr. Schnee had been a lot more paranoid over a man supposedly broke into his mansion not too long ago. Honestly with how Mr. Schnee was making her wait, she was really starting to wish that assassin had succeeded in his mission. Because this was ridiculous…well okay she wouldn't wish death on anyone, but she was mad.

"Now Now! I think we can talk this through!" She heard a voice say as she turned her head.

"Shut up." She saw a man in a long coat said as they were holding a..

Her eyes widened as she turned to her Cameraman.

"Sapphire! Do you know who that is?!" Lisa said as her Cameraman or camerawoman in this case took a look.

"No, who is he?" She didn't know who he was.

"My key to securing that promotion!" Lisa said as she motioned for Sapphire to get the camera.

"Sir! Sir!" Lisa ran up to the man as the gate guard tried to stop her.

"Huh?" Jeremiah said as he turned to see some reporter coming towards him.

Wait…wasn't that the lady who was voiced by the same lady who did Pyrrha? Wow, this was going to be weird.

"Sir! If we could just-" Lisa said as a Gestapo held out his arm.

"Stay back!" The Gestapo guy said as Sapphire now had the camera on him.

"LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE!" Sapphire picked up a small Lion faunus coming out along with two of Beacon's teams and Winter Schnee herself.

SMACK

Mr. Gestapo backhanded Sapphire three feet back, Sapphire gasped as she couldn't believe this was happening right now. Lisa was shocked herself, a grown ass man had just slapped a little girl who seemed to be running towards…him? The human? Did she just call him 'Daddy?' What was going on?

Winter walked up and picked Nala up and cradled her. The little lion faunus having a noticeable bruise on her face as tears welled in her eyes.

Suddenly the camera went back to Jeremiah, who had a cold look on his face as he looked at the man who did it.

"Oh Mr. Gestapo….you just made a big mistake…" He growled out.

"Oh? And what are you going to do? You're handcuffed." He said as he glared at Jem, who was only looking at him with a severly pissed off look on his face.

"Well that's funny, because you see, the thing about handcuffs." He said as he held his hands out.

"They can be picked." He said as he launched a kick into his chest and pulled out his knife.

"AAHHH!" The cameras picked up his war cry as he stabbed one of the Gestapo wannabees in the arm and threw a fist into the throat of another.

"Oof!" The one who got punched in the throat said as Jeremiah pulled his knife out and kneed the guy in the temple. Causing him to go down.

"Sapph…Are you getting this?" Lisa asked as Sapphire nodded.

"I'm getting it! I don't know what the heck happened between them, but I'm getting it!" Sapphire said as she

He walked over to the third one who slapped Nala who had gotten back up.

"You think you can take me?" Mr. Gestapo said as Winter threw Jeremiah his tomahawk.

"Yep!" He said as he hooked it under his leg and pulled up.

"HAAAA!" He yelled as he brought his elbow down into his chest.

"Ugh!" Apparenlty Mr. Gestapo was not as strong as they thought.

Either that, or Jem was just really lucky.

Jem got into the mount position as he started raining punches on him.

"Oooohhh." Lisa Lavender said as she saw punch after punch flying into the guy's face.

"That guy is really…pissed…" Sapphire said as she saw Jeremiah grab the guys collar.

And then land a headbutt right to his nose.

"AGH!" The man yelled as his nose started bleeding profusely.

"Lets make one thing clear…" Jeremiah was unaware the camera was still rolling.

"If you ever…..touch my daughter again, I'll cut your nuts off, and shove them down your fucking throat." Oh boy, that was going to get a lot of views.

Jeremiah walked over to Nala as Winter was holding her.

"Hey, Hey Nala…" He said as Nala was crying.

"It's okay, Daddy beat the hell out of those guys." Nala took a look at the men in leather coats.

"They won't hurt me again?" She said with a trembling lip.

"Not while I'm here." He said as he hugged her.

"Come on, lets go back inside, and Winter…" He said as she looked at him.

"I think we need to have a talk with your dad." She nodded as they started their walk back inside.

"How the hell did you beat those guys so easily? I mean, I would assume that they would be well trained?" Blake asked as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, pure luck?" He asked as they shook their heads

"There is no way anyone is that lucky!" Yang said as Lisa captured the entire interaction on camera.

"Sapphire, we are going to get promoted for this." She said with a smile as Sapphire looked confused.

"How?" She asked as Lisa gave her an incredulous look.

"Do you know who that is? He is the man the faunus are talking about! He saved that same girl during he attack on Vale! People couldn't believe he would risk his life just to protect a faunus child! And now here he is, apparently having adopted the girl, AND WITH A MOTHER WHO IS A SCHNEE! Do you not see how crazy this is?!" She said as this was definitely a story worth reporting.

"So basically, Scandal, Family love, Violence and…wait…who are thes guys?" Sapphire asked as she saw the uniformed men groaning.

"I don't know, I don't recognize the uniforms…" She said as they definitely didn't look familiar.

"Hang on!" Jeremiah came back and kicked another one in the head, and then he…

Stole his coat.

"Uhm, what are you doing?" Weiss asked as Jeremiah took the coat.

"Hey, it's a nice coat!" He said as he ran away.

"Did you get that?" Lisa couldn't believe that just happened.

"No, but..well, it was a nice coat."

 **ON EARTH**

"Cinder, have you seen my lotion?" Emerald asked as Cinder shook her head.

"No, why did you buy lotion?" Cinder didn't know why she would do that.

"Hey, with all the stuff we have had to deal with these past few days, I deserve to pamper myself a bit." She said as it was true, and Cinder actually agreed.

After they failed their mission yet again, Cinder and Emerald had treated themselves to the hotel spa they were at. It was actually very nice and relaxing. Although Cinder really didn't understand why some people felt the need to groan at some of the more rough massages. But then she remembered the people of this world were much weaker than the people of her world. So she let it slide.

Mercury however hadn't been doing much lately.

"Hey Mercury have you seen my-" Emerald opened the door to the bathroom.

Only to see Mercury furiously masturbating with her lotion.

"IT WON'T GO AWAY!" He yelled as Emerald slammed the door.

"….Found it…" She said as she had grabbed the bottle before slamming the door.

The problem was it hadn't been that long since they got back from the house. And Mercury had been having problems with his penis. Not just the fact that he consumed the equivalent of a Viagra steroid, but the fact that he had gotten a very bad scrape on his dick when he fell to the pavement.

And well….Emerald's lotion was very soothing…and he still had to make it go down…

So far….no suck luck.

I guess you could say it was a hard knock life for him.


	76. Well Shit

**Okay everyone here is the latest chapter, yet another glorious day completely sober, the sun is shining, the temperature is warm, we're in the 30s! Thats like summertime in the midwest during the winter! Anyways, I go back to school tomorrow, so I figured I would get this chapter out before I went back.**

 **Anyways, shout out to 'TheMischeviousPuppyDog.' He came to me with an idea, and honestly, I got a kick out of it, so I figured eh what the hell. I'll put it in. So the last part was written by him, and the character mentioned is his idea.**

 **Anyways, I checked out the one story he has published right now, and I enjoyed it, so go and check it out!**

* * *

"How long has he been in there?" Cinder asked as Mercury was still in the bathroom.

"Coming up on a few hours…" Emerald couldn't believe Mercury was still in there masturbating.

"Hey, where is my laptop?" Tigerstripe just got back from the spa, and she couldn't find her laptop.

"Uhhh.." They looked to the bathroom door.

"We don't know…" They didn't want to tell Tigerstripe that Mercury was currently using it to search for…aid to help him with his problem.

PORN! He was watching porn!

"It's weird, I know I left it here." Tigerstripe scratched her tiger ears as the camera switched to Mercury in the bathroom.

He was currently jerking it so fast that you swear to god, if he had two sticks and was rubbing them together trying to start a fire, he would have been able to start a bonfire. But as of now, the bathroom was surrounded by used tissus, empty lotion bottles, and a laptop whose battery was near the end of its life.

"PLEASE OUM! If you get me out of this! I won't do anything wrong again! I'll join the choir! I'll save babies! Please! Just make it go away!" He was close to crying, he couldn't keep doing this to himself.

How did people find pleasure from this? You were just fucking yourself! It wasn't fun! It was agonizing! Why?! Why did he have to do this! Why did he drink that stupid blue drink! Why did he come to this world! He got so desperate that he was considering cutting it off.

But then he felt a twitch, he looked down as he saw his little pee wee was starting to go down. And a smile of pure joy and gratefulness appeared across his face.

"Never mind! It's going down by itself!" Mercury yelled to Oum as it continued to go down.

Well that was a real kick in the balls to the great spirit in the sky.

He reached for the nearest object and wiped off the remaining semen from his now soft appendage. The deed was done. The nightmare was over, he could finally get out of the room.

"Ahhhh." He said as he looked down at the tissue in his hand.

Except it wasn't a tissue….it was a pair of Emerald's panties.

"Mercury can you-" Emerald opened the door to the bathroom to see Mercury with his pants down and a pair of her panties in his hand, covered in a…HE DIDN'T.

"YOU SICK BASTARD!" She flung the door open as she cocked a fist back.

"WAIT! I DID-" He was cut off by a punch to the face.

And that was Oum getting his revenge for Mercury breaking his promise.

 **BACK ON REMNANT**

"Why are you still-" Jacques was cut off as Jeremiah punched him in the face.

"Ooohhh." Yang said as Jacques fell back.

"Now now now, MR. SCHNEE." Jeremiah said as he grabbed him by his collar.

"Let's get one thing straight, I am a pretty nice guy, and maybe if your Gestapo just wanted to arrest me, I wouldn't have punched you, but you see, they SLAPPED MY DAUGHTER. So in all honesty, I should do a hell of a lot worse than punch you." He glared as Jacques was holding one of his eyes.

"Now, I won't be one of those guys who says they'll cut your dick off, because lets face it, you don't have much under there." He said as Jacques glared at him.

"Oh don't glare, we both know its true, man its no wonder your wife and you don't get along." He whispered into his ear.

"Now let's get one thing straight here Mr. Fancy Company man…if you ever try and pull that shit again, I'll know…and next time…I WILL EAT YOUR LIMBS!" He yelled as he choked the man.

"Uh, Jem, maybe threatening the guy who tried to have you arrested with violence isn't the best course of action?" Nora suggested even though she wanted to punch the guy too.

"Maybe not, but as of right now, I'm pissed and Jacques seems like a good target." He said as he looked Jacques in the eyes.

"Now Now, Mr. Schnee, I'll make a deal with you, if you leave me alone, I won't bother you, I'll try and avoid you as much as I can, do we have a deal?" Jem said as Jacques thought it over.

"Even if I agreed to this, I already reported you to the council, when they find out their goons failed, they will send more." He said as Jeremiah narrowed his eyes.

"So let me get this straight, I have two teams from beacon on my side, my dad over there who is a skilled huntsman…" Qrow waved a hand at that.

"Awww, how nice, you gave me a compliment." He was being a smart ass.

"Winter who is currently pissed at you…" He pointed to Winter currently rubbing salve on Nala's cheek, who was currently glaring at Jacques.

"And then you have me, and while I should care, after surviving that plane crash, surviving that fight with Cinder, surviving losing most of the blood in my body, escaping from your mansion in the first place, then beating those Gestapo guys, and sleeping with….Uhm, well you know…" He said wiggling his eyesbrows just to taunt Jacques.

"I think it is safe to say I am the luckiest bastard on this planet, so how about it? Truce? Or what calls for one?" He put out a hand for Jacques to shake.

"Wait…Lucky….Lucky…." Qrow thought back to his own semblance being bad luck.

And then he remembered something about Jeremiah saying he was raised by a parent who was part irish…Oh for fucks sake!

Was Jeremiah's semblance the luck of the irish?! Because it would make sense…and…now that Qrow thought about it.

With his semblance being bad luck, he noticed that when he was around Jeremiah, there were no small incidents of misfortune, was it possible that, Jem's semblance was counteracting Qrows? Making it so he could be in a room with other people without the chance of misfortune? If so….that was actually comforting.

"Huh, how about that, I get bad luck, my son gets good luck, talk about weird." He thought to himself as he saw something he never thought he would.

He saw Jacques shaking Jeremiah's hand.

"Good, so we have an agreement." Jeremiah said as Jacques stood up.

"Now if you excuse me." He picked up Winter and put her over his shoulder.

"H-HEY!" She yelled as she had no idea what he was doing as he started walking.

"Where are we going?" She asked as Jem had a grin on his face.

"We're going to play a game that will piss your dad off." He said as Winter blushed.

"What game? I want to play!" Nala said as her Aunt Blake put a hand over her mouth.

"No! No! No! No! Nala…that is…a game only grown ups can play." Blake said as the two teams looked at the Lion faunus.

"Ahh, but I can play too! I'm almost seven!" She said as Yang spoke up.

"Uhm, its something that…tell you what, just drop the subject, and we'll have Klein make you a special treat." Weiss said as she knew Nala loved rare steak seasoned to perfection.

"Okay!" Nala said with a smile as they all breathing a sigh of relief.

"This is just like with Ruby all over again…" Yang whispered to Blake.

"That's a little different, Ruby didn't know about sex until she turned 15….Nala is 6…more importantly, how did Ruby not know about that until she was 15?" Blake asked as Yang scratched her head.

"We live in a small town….and I wanted to protect her innocence…" Yang looked away.

Meanwhile, a woman with white hair holding a wine glass was watching the scene with interest, she had never seen her 'Husband' get manhandled like that before, she had to admit…it was quite pleasureable to watch.

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"I swear to god, this time we are finding that maiden…" Cinder said as they broke into the house again, but this time, Mercury was careful not to touch anything that looked like it could be a boner pill.

He had two black eyes and a bandage over his nose. Emerald did not take kindly to catching him with one of her pairs of panties. Even after he explained that he didn't know that they were her panties, she still was mad. She may have been a criminal, but nobody liked perverts. Especially after she found the entire mess of tissues on the floor.

For Oum's sake, there were so many tissues on the floor, she knew that stocks in the Kleenex company was going to rise exponentially due to Mercury's consumption.

"Well we didn't find anything last time, so where would they be?" Emerald asked as Mercury spoke up.

"Well, last time I was here, I found a secret door to a….sex dungeon, so maybe there are hidden doorways here." He said as both Cinder and Emerald looked at him with a deadpan look.

"Seriously Merc? Secret doorways?" Emerald asked as he looked offended.

"I'm just telling you what I saw!" Suddenly Tigerstripe showed up.

"Actually he may have a point, eccentric rich homeowners who built a wall around their house, is it really that uncommon to think that they may have built a secret passageway or two?" Tigerstripe said as they were surprised to see her here.

"I thought you weren't going to show up since you have bad blood with these people?" Cinder asked as she nodded.

"I do, but you three have done nothing to bring me closer to my little wolf, so I am here to take matters into my own hands." She said as she felt up a bookshelf.

"Oh come on, you don't seriously believe that if you pull one of the books out that a door wi-" Emerald was cut off by the sound of something turning.

CLUNK!

Her mouth flew open as she realized the bookcase was now turning.

"You were saying?" Tigerstripe smirked at her as Emerald grumbled.

"This is bullshit…" She thought to herself.

All four of them walked down the steps into the hidden area of the house. The walls were solid brick, and they only had torches to light the way. Why did they need this part of the house? What could they possibly be hiding? Even if Ozpin contacted them and asked them to hide the maiden, how did they build this in such a short amount of time? It made absolutely no sense.

"There's something up ahead." Cinder said as she lit a flame to light the way.

And she smirked at what she saw.

"So she was here all along…." She said as she saw the pod containing the maiden.

"And to think, if you had just figured out the hidden chamber secret earlier, I wouldn't have gone through all of that shit…." Mercury said remembering the pain of having his dick slide against the pavement.

"Oh shut up." Cinder said as she nocked an arrow.

"Why not just go to the pod and stab her then?" Mercury asked as Cinder looked at him.

"Tigerstripe…throw a rock onto the ground." She said as Tigerstripe took a small stone from her bag and threw it close to the pod.

Only for the floors to fold away and reveal a spiked trap underneath.

"Oh, holy shit." Mercury said as he couldn't believe what he was seing.

"How did you know that was there?" Emerald couldn't believe it either.

"I didn't, but do you really think I was going to take a chance based on what we have seen from these people?" Cinder asked as she aimed her arrow.

"Nock…" She said as she pulled it back.

"Draw…" She took aim.

"Loose!" She said as the arrow traveled towards the maiden.

Amber's eyes shot open for the first time in a long time as the last sight she saw was the arrow pentrating her chest, her eyes locking with the eyes of the woman who had killed her, so even after all of this time, they finished the job.

Aura shot out of the capsule as Cinder felt the power enter her at last.

"Finally, now lets get out of here." Tigerstripe saidas they turned, only for light to burst into the tunnel.

"DALE! GRANDMAMA! They're back!" Momma yelled as Mercury cursed.

"Shit! Cinder! The dust!" He said as Cinder reached into the bag.

"I'm getting it! I'm getting it!" She said as she pulled out the bag.

"FREEZE!" Dale yelled as Grandmama and Momma appeared.

Each was armed with their own weapons. For dale, a stolen M60…don't ask him where he got it, and on his legs were two desert eagles, each with a few extra magazines in case he missed the first few shots. Momma was armed with a AR 15, and her trusty Walther PPK. Grandmama was armed with…a rolling pin.

"Really Mother? A rolling pin?" Momma asked as she couldn't believe it.

"RUFF! RUFF!" Zeus barked as both Blaze and Cristofer came down to the basement.

"Did you really have to bring that damn tiger along?" Cristofer asked as Ms. Penny was going nuts as she saw Tigerstripe.

"Shut up younin! I can make heads roll with this thing." Grandmama replied to Momma, and that was when Cinder got the dust bag.

"I SAID FREEZE!" Dale said as he fired a single round from his M60.

Cinder's group looked shocked as the bullet seemed to travel in slow motion towards the bag of Dust crystals that Cinder had brought along so they could get home. Even Cinder herself was too slow to react as the bullet got closer and closer until.

The bullet made contact with the bag.

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

A powerful explosion rang through the underground tunnel as the force blew both groups back.

"OOOOOOHHHHH SHIIIITTTT!" Mercury yelled as he felt himsel soaring.

"OOF!" Cinder said as she felt her back hit a tree.

"Wait…Tree?" She looked up and noticed she was in a forest.

"Guys! We're back!" She said as she noticed Emerald and Tigerstripe were with her.

"Wait…where is Mercury?" She asked as she looked around, Mercury was still a valuable asset of the team.

"HA HA! I'm Safe! Finally! Something good happened for once!" Mercury said as he landed in a pile of something soft.

Emerald turned away and started laughing as she noticed what it was.

"Ha! Laugh if you once, but for once I didn't get in…jured…" Suddenly Mercury took a wiff.

Something didn't smell right..in fact…it smelled like…

Mercury looked down to see what he had landed in…

"SSHHHIIIIIIT!" Quite literally, more specifically, a pile of Griffon shit.

 **Meanwhile in Menagerie**

"Figlio de puttana! MERDA!" Grandmama yelled a people saw the elderly woman appear out of nowhere.

"Wait…where am I?" She said as she realized this wasn't her children's house.

In fact…it was outside…during the day…and…and…did these people have animal ears?

"Uhm…are you okay?" A random faunus said as she was more shocked rather than angry that a human was here.

"Dio mio! Am I dreaming?!" Grandmama said as people were surrouding the elderly italian woman with a rolling pin.

"Uhm, did you hit your head in that explosion?" The faunus said as Grandmama stood up.

"W-Where am I? What is this place?!" She was noticeably freaking out.

"Maam, just calm down, you're in menagerie, you're safe…" The faunus was trying to keep the human calm.

"What is Menagerie?! How did I get here?!" She couldn't keep calm.

"Maam! Is there anything we can do to calm you down!" The faunus really didn't want to upset this woman.

Grandmama could only think of one thing.

"Take me to a kitchen! I must work!" Cooking was the only thing that would calm her down.

"Uhm…okay…Lord Belladonna has been looking for a new cook but…" She was cut off by Grandmama.

"I'll do it! Just anything!"

 **Meanwhile at a random strip club**

"OWIE!" Blaze yelled as Ms. Penny landed on him.

"What is going o-" He was cut off by a sultry voice.

"Are you okay?" He opened his eyes to see a wonderful sight.

A fox faunus in a stripper outfit smiling down at him as his eyes went starry eyed. Especially when he spotted something a little extra.

"Am…Am I dreaming?" He asked as she shook her head.

"You must have hi your head pretty hard, how about you let us give you a hand." She said as another stripper, this time a wolf faunus grabbed his other arm to help him up.

She also had the extra something that Blaze loved to see.

"My…life…is…awesome…" Blaze knew he must have been dreaming, but it was a good dream.

Meanwhile Ms Penny just followed her master.

 **Meanwhile in Atlas**

Cristofer was just banging his head against a wall as he couldn't believe what was going on.

"You got to be shitting me…an explosion sent me to a new world…fuck my life."

Yeah, he didn't have much to say.

 **With Dale and Momma**

"Woah…" Dale said as he didn't know where they were.

"Where the hell are we?" Momma asked as they seemed to be in a small town.

"Woah! You two dressed for war or something?" They turned to see a blond haired man with some strange armor and clothes coming up to them.

"Uh, we..we don't know how we got here, we caught some people breaking into our house, and then next thing we know, an explosion happens and we end up here." Momma said remaining unusually calm.

"Eh, must have been a teleportation dust accident, don't worry, it happens, some thieves use it for a quick escape, I'm Tai Yang, if you want I can help you find your way back home…" He said with a helpful smile as the tiny corgi with him barked.

"I…I don't know if you can…" Momma said as Dale spoke up.

"Our home is kind of….Out of place at the moment." Dale finished while looking at the camera.

Yes…Out of Place indeed.

 **MEANWHILE AT ATLAS ACADEMY**

How long had it been? Days? weeks? Ever since he heard the news of losing his precious sunflower and her parents, he had no energy to do anything, just sleep, eat, and just sit in his team's dorm room watching TV.

Now typically that's what a lazy person would be doing, but he was never lazy.., always active, always dancing, always...singing and fighting...it's just that the loss of his sunflower really got to him.

His entire team, his girlfriend, and even her team had been worried sick about him. Luckily due to the Vytal festival happening, there were no classes to take part in since they were on break. But due to his depressed state, his team decided it'd be best that they didn't take part in the tournament knowing there leader was not in the best condition right now. He felt bad that his team couldn't participate because of him, but his team didn't seem to care, all they cared for was their leaders health and safety

He couldn't have asked for a better team, especially since they were well known in both the academy, as well as the other kingdoms due to the music they composed and performed.

Sadly the attack on the festival didn't help matters on his depression, luckily his girlfriends team made it back safely so he was thankful for that….but it just seemed this entire month had been a real downer for him.

Now here he was, laying on his bed with his headphones on listening to some music. His long brown hair covering his face, he didn't care really..it was better then turning the television on and seeing how every channel was practically the news covering the events that happened a couple of days ago at the festival.

He would have just continued laying there if it weren't for his team slamming the door open and rushing in, his girlfriend practically shouting at him to do or see something, but he didn't care. He just wanted to lay there and listen to his music. Sadly that was canceled since he felt himself getting quickly dragged over to the television by his partner and his other teammate and placed right onto the couch.

His headphones were taken off and his long grunge style hair was moved aside by his girlfriend and he was forced to look up at the television. It was of the reporter Lisa lavender, why did they want to show him this, what was the po-

It was then that his eyes widened as he stared at picture that was showing a man he didn't know, the eldest sibling of the Schnee children and finally...no...it couldn't be..

"...S-Sunflower?" As soon as those words were spoken, and he had gotten a long enough look at that little girl, his long brown hair instantly shot upward and regained its big, puffy, and quite round shape.

"SUNFLOWER!" He yelled in happiness!

She was alive after all!

His lion tail twitched in happiness as he realized he had places to be! And people to see!


	77. Oops

**Okay, so here we go, one last update until tomorrow, and I may not get to update again for awhile. Anyways, currently I'm looking for people to draw a cover for this story. Thinking a picture with Jem and Winter holding Nala in between them. Think that would be cute, now I just need to find someone to draw it.**

 **Anyways, here we go, another chapter for you all!**

* * *

"I hate my life!" Mercury said as they had made their way back to Salem's tower.

"Be that as it may, at least your mission was a success." Salem said as Mercury walked off to shower.

"And surprisingly, this worked out even better than we planned." Cinder said as Tigerstripe had informed her of Volume 3 and 4.

Well, at least to the part where it showed that Cinder was pretty much a cripple and mute in Volume 4. Tigerstripe had gotten bored with the series and stopped at that point. So she didn't know anything past that. Which was kind of a god send, which meant she couldn't spoil any more details. But either way, Salem and her cronies now had an advantage, they had a full maiden who wasn't a cripple. Which could prove to be a thorn in the side.

"What about the people? They aren't as distrustful of Atlas as they were before." Unforturantely it had spread about the horrible accident at the Vytal festival.

As far as the people knew, it was a horrible technology malfunction. After all, they saw Atlas robots killing Atlas soldiers, there was no way Atlas would ever target their own intentionally, but one thing was for sure, the Atlesian knights were on the backburner. As people didn't trust the new technology that much anymore. So it increased the need for human soldiers.

"It is of no concern to us." Salem said as she looked at Tigerstripe.

"Tigerstripe dear…" She said as the furry walked up to her.

"Yes Mistress?" She kneeled before her.

"We have some new playthings for you in the interrogation chamber, see what you can get out of them." She said as Tigerstripe got giddy.

Meanwhile Tyrian was in the corner of the room.

"Eh hem hem…Hello Tiger! I was just a fly on the wall, when I heard you got back, and I made this for y…no that's stupid…" Tyrian said as he was trying to rehearse his lines.

"Uhm, maybe, hello my delightful fangbite, I just…No no..that won't work either, oh come on, what am I supposed to say-" Tyrian was cut off by Tigerstripe noticing him.

"Hi Tyrian!" She said in a chipper tone as he froze up.

"Oh! Uh! Fangbite! Hello!" Great, now he was like an awkward teenager.

"Whats that?" She asked pointing to the piece of paper in his hands.

"Oh! Uh! This is for you! I thought you would like it!"

Right now Tyrian was like a six year old, a psychotic bloodthirsty six year old, but a six year old none the less.

"What is this?" She asked as she unfolded the paper.

"Aaahhh, it's so cute!" She said as she held it up.

It was a picture of Tyrian and Tigerstripe stabbing and mutilating multiple enemies together. It brought a smile to her face.

"You like it?" He said with a hopeful tone.

"Of course! Ahh, you're my best friend!" She said as she gave him a hug.

Just in time to hear his heart break.

"I'll see you later! Mistress has some work for me!" She skipped away to the torture chamber.

"B-B-Best….friend….." Tyrian fell to the floor and starting sobbing.

" _Woah…Poor Bastard….Friendzone…"_ Mercury thought as he was walking back and saw Tyrian on the ground.

"What am I going to do?!" Tyrian said in an overdramatic tone.

"Dude, just give it up, she's not going to be interested in anyone other than that weird guy at the tournament-" Mercury was cut off by a crazed look from Tyrian.

"What guy?!" He demanded to know as he pinned Mercury to the wall.

"Woah! Easy, you know the guy she's always obsessing about? Her…bleh…Little wolf?" He said as Tyrian's eyes widened in recognition and thought.

"Of course…if he's around…..she won't stop thinking about him…." He said as he let Mercury go.

"Then I'll just have to kill him!" Tyrian said with a laugh as Mercury was getting creeped out.

"Uh, I don't see how killing him will-" Once again he was cut off by Tyrian.

"IMMA DO IT ANYWAY!" He yelled as he ran off to beg Salem to let him kill Jeremiah.

"Huh…you know, I kind of feel sorry for that guy." And then Mercury thought about the fact that Jeremiah's dog had shit on him, he got a scraped dick, and so many other horrible things and he thought.

"Huh, on second though, GOOD LUCK TYRIAN!" He yelled out to the crazy man.

"THANK YOU!" Tyrian yelled back.

 **MEANWHILE AT THE SCHNEE MANSION**

"Wow…" Winter and Jeremiah were currently shirtless underneath the covers.

"That was…better." She said as their first time while fun hadn't been the best.

"Well, with practice, you get better." Jem said in a teasing tone.

"Don't get too excited, this isn't going to be an everyday thing." She said as she cuddled up to him.

"I figured, besides its fine, I don't need sex to show you how much I love you…" He said as she laid her head on her chest.

"I would hope not…" She closed her eyes as he said something.

"But I would be lying if that wasn't a bonus." She lightly slapped his pec muscle.

"Ow." He faked pain.

"You know, that was pretty brave of you, fighting those men because they hit Nala, you looked pretty…sexy." Winter had to admit, there was nothing sexier than a man defending his family.

"Well…the kid has grown on me, she's just so cute, and I'm sure Momma would…" Suddenly he got a little sad as Winter looked at him.

"Jem?" She asked as she didn't know why he stopped.

"My parents…I completely forgot about them, they must think I'm in trouble! I mean, time passes differently in this world! I've been gone a week! So how long have I been missing back home! Damn how could I forget! They must be worried sick! Oh geez, Pa is going to be pissed off when he learns I've been fine this whole time!" Jem couldn't believe he forgot about his parents.

"I'm sure they'll be fine, after all, whats the worse that could happen?" Winter asked as he looked at her.

'Winter, you realize when my parents thought I got lost at the county fair, they interrogated one of the clowns trying to find me right?" He asked as she looked confused.

"Why would a clown know where a missing child was?" She asked as she didn't understand.

"Who better than an depressed alcoholic who hangs around children all the time?" He pointed out as Winter started to see the point. **(1)**

"That's…pretty disturbing…" Winter didn't know why he thought so lowly of Clowns.

"You're not afraid of clowns are you?" Winter asked as he shook his head.

"I'm not afraid of them…I just…really…REALLY don't like clowns." He didn't know why, he just didn't like clowns.

He hated them even more than hippies. Because Clowns were supposed to be trustworthy, but the next thing you know, SURPRISE! It's John Wayne Gacy!

"Anyways, we should probably get going." Winter stood up, her nude body on full display as she went over to the dresser looking for clothes.

"Wait…." She said as she realized that those weren't her clothes.

"Something wrong?" Jeremiah asked as he walked over next to her, also while being in the nude.

"These aren't my clothes." She said as she held out a shirt that wasn't her size.

"Well that's weird…" He took the shirt from her.

"Wait a second, I know what this is." He knew he had seen a shirt like this before.

"What do you mean?" She asked as his eyes widened.

"I got a shirt like this when I first came here….Oh shit! We're not in your room!" He said as they had started making out and must have entered the wrong room on their way here.

"Then where are we?" She asked as the door opened.

"Ahh, finally I have some time to mys-" Whitley had a magazine under his arm, fresh from his outside source.

After Klein took away his magazines, and locked the internet so he couldn't find any online, he had to resort to getting it elsewhere. Now he had the latest edition of Faunushouse: Dommes and Fawns edition in his hands. And nothing was going to ruin his play time.

Except when he walked in his room. He saw the one thing he didn't want to see.

He saw his sister and her boyfriend completely naked…his bed was a mess….and their clothes were on the ground.

"AAAHHHH!" He covered his eyes as they started burning.

"JESUS!" Jeremiah took something off of Whitley's desk and covered himself with it.

"JUST COVER UP!" He yelled as Winter took something from the coat rack.

"What are you doing in he- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE?!" He yelled as Jem and Winter took a look at what they were covering themselves with.

Jeremiah had to resist the urge to laugh as he realized he was covering himself up with a photo of Whitley on his first day of Preperatory School. And Winter realized she was covering herself up with his school uniform.

"JUST GET OUT! GET OUT!" He yelled as he pushed them into the hallway.

"HEY MY CLOTHES!" Jeremiah yelled as Whitley slammed the door.

"Shit…all of our stuff was in there…" Winter said as she was looking to change into fresh clothes, but now she had nothing.

"Uhm…how far is your room from here?" He asked as she looked around.

"Down the hall and to the right…" She said as that was a long way to go.

"We better start running." He said as they were both running bare ass down the hall.

"You've been working out." She said as she was running behind him and staring at him.

"Now is not the time for flirting Winter!" Wow, for once he was being the mature one.

 **Just down the hall**

"Look, Weiss don't worry about it, Winter and Jeremiah are both responsible adults, nothing bad is going to happen." Yang said as Weiss sighed.

"I know, but I get worried about what is going to happen, I mean what if Jem does something stupid? I mean he already pissed my father off by blurting out that he had sex with Winter…" Blake made sure Nala's ears were covered at that.

"Look, just remember, Winter and Jem are both mature adults, and I'm sure everything will be-" Ruby was cut off as she heard yelling.

"OUT OF OUR WAY!" They turned to see a naked Jeremiah and Winter running towards them.

"WHAT THE?!" The two teams shot out of the way as the two lovers streaked by them.

"HEY!" Nala said as her eyes were covered by Blake.

Who actually saw that both Winter and Jeremiah apparently took their training very seriously.

"So…that was weird…." Nora said as Yang looked disgusted.

"I saw my cousins dick…." She felt like throwing up.

"When did he get that tattoo on his arm?" Ruby asked as she noticedthere was a tattoo of the hammer of Thor on his arm.

Not the Marvel comics one, the original norse hammer, and right next to it was a Cross with Jesus on it. Sort of a way of blending his heritage with his actual religion.

"I am going to kill him…" Weiss said as the two ran into Winter's room.

"THAT WAS EMBARASSING!" Winter said as she ran over to her dresser to pick something out.

"Hey..check it out…" Jeremiah held up the magazine.

"I stole Whitley's magazine." He said as he looked at the cover.

"Wait…isn't that Blake's mom?" He asked as he took a closer look.

"Uh…No…just a look a like…" Although the resemblance was uncanny.

Blake's mom wasn't a part time dominatrix was she? Then again…he saw the books Blake read…No! NO! It was just a look alike! Blake's mom was way to sweet to do that! Right? Besides there was on way her dad would allow that…unless…he saw the cover of it was some big guy being forced to submit to…NO! NO IT WASN'T THEM!

The possibilities scared him.

"Give me that." She said as she took it from his hands and used a fire dust crystal to burn it.

"Damn, Whitley is going to be pissed." Jem said as luckily there was a change of clothes for him too.

"Well he's too young to be looking at this stuff anyways…" She walked over to him with a smirk.

"Although…it does give me…ideas…" She said in a sultry tone as Jem looked nervous.

"Woah..Winter…Uh…yeah…Little too far there." He said as she laughed.

"Got you!" She said as he realized what she was doing.

"Woah, you're the one messing with me…how did our roles get switched? Okay, that was a bad choice of words." He said as Winter just chuckled.

"Just get dressed, chances are your daughter is going to want to play, and its best we don't have to run through the halls like this again." She said as she passed him a new set of clothes.

"Hey cool Jacket." He said as he put the black leather jacket on, along with a pair of jeans.

"Uh, Winter, you didn't give me a shirt." He said as she smirked.

"Yeaaaahhh." In truth she really didn't have a shirt for him.

But she had to admit, the sight of him in a unzipped leather jacket, his abs and pecs peeking out from the jacket was..enticing.

"Oh great, now who is the pervert?" He smirked as she smiled and gave him a quick kiss.

"You look like Ragnar Lothbrok joined the Sons of Anarchy." She said as he smirked.

"Well then, I believe I have to make you a promise." He said as he remembered one line from that show.

"And that is?" She asked not sure what he was going to say.

"I promise to treat you as good as my leathers, and ride you as much as my Harley." He said as she slapped his shoulder lightly.

"And now we're even on perv jokes." She said as she finished getting dressed.

"STOP THAT MUTT!" They heard a voice yell as they walked into the hall.

"What the heck is going on?" They asked as they met up with the two teams.

"You two…are in trouble…" Weiss said as she knew she was going to give a stern talking to both of them.

"Never mind that, what is going on?" He asked as he heard yelling.

"We don't know, one of the guards saw something get in, and next thing we know, theres a whole chase going on for…something." Weiss said as Nala climbed up on her dad's shoulders.

"Could it be a Grimm Mommy?" Nala asked Winter as she shook her head.

"I don't think so sweetie, probably only a stray dog or something." Suddenly they saw something turn the corner.

"Wait a minute…is that?" Jeremiah squinted his eyes as the object got closer…

And closer…and closer….with a wagging tail.

"ZEUS?!" He yelled in happiness as he heard a bark.

"RUFF!" Zeus love tackled Jeremiah to the ground.

"ZEUS!" He cried out as he hugged the dog only to be bombarded by licks.

"Zeus?!" Weiss said as she suddenly forgot why she was mad.

"How did he get here?" Blake asked as she felt a little weird.

And then Zeus spotted Nala.

" _NEW CAT FRIEND!"_ He thought as he tackled Nala and proceeded to lick her face.

"Ah! Ah! It tickles!" Nala said as she was being covered in dog slobber.

"I would have thought Nala wouldn't like dogs…" Winter said as she couldn't believe the fluffy dog was here.

"I guess not every feline faunus we know is scared of dogs…" Jem looked at Blake as he said that.

"Shut up, I'm not scared of dogs." Blake was then tackled by Zeus as well and licked all over.

"AH! GET IT OFF!" She said as she hated being covered in dog drool.

"But…how did he get here?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know…but I guess you could say that Blake is…." Yang put on her sunglasses.

"Doggone tired of this."

* * *

 **(1) I heard this joke a long time ago, but can't remember what it was from, so fuck it, I put it in.**


	78. Jeremiah Meets The Hippy

**Okay, first things first, this story now has its own Spinoff based on Secondhand Lions, what if Winter hadn't come back in time, and Jem was an old man by the time she came back to Earth? What would happen?**

 **Anyways, another shoutout for 'TheMischeviousPuppyDog' he wrote the very last part, starring his OC. So give thanks to him. He worked hard on it.**

* * *

"They look so freaking adorable." Jeremiah couldn't believe that he was watching Nala use Zeus as a pillow, and Zeus was just letting her while he curled around her, it was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen.

"Someone please get a camera." Winter wanted to remember this family moment.

"Look at the way her tail has wrapped around his!" Even Blake was having a hard time admitting this wasn't the cutest thing ever.

So after Winter managed to calm down the guards, they had left Zeus alone, and they all ended up in the living room sitting on a couch playing with Zeus. They couldn't believe how well Zeus got along with her, course, he always had a soft spot for kids, so that was no surprise there. Still though, it was amazing how well he got along with felines, the weird thing is that he had Zwei's same obsession with Blake, as in 'HELLO CAT FRIEND! WANT TO PLAY!'

Jeremiah could only think about how Blake's parents would react. Would they both be scared of dogs? Kali? Eh, maybe, he didn't know, she seemed like such a sweet lady, as for Ghira, no way that guy was scared of dogs, he seemed to be too much of a bad ass for that.

So maybe it was just Blake?

"Wait…how did he get here?" Blake suddenly realized that.

"Well, my dog's loyalty is so great, that he would stop at nothing to find me! He will go to the ends of the earth! Through different planes of existence! Through the fire and the fl-" He was cut off by Blake.

"He was probably sent here in a dust explosion, but question is how?" She asked as it didn't make sense.

"Well, I did have some dust rounds laying around the house in my room, maybe he knocked over something and it triggered them?" He suggested as she shook her head.

"I doubt it, I see your ammo safe, no way he could have gotten past the number code…which by the way, do you have to have 1776 as your pin number for everything?" She asked as he got a look on his face.

"Damn straight I do, AMERICA!" He pumped a fist in the air.

"Oh for Oum's sake." She said as his patriotism was odd at times.

"But it still doesn't answer how he got here, the only way he could have been transported here would be through a dust explosion, so what triggered one?" Winter asked as this whole thing didn't make sense.

"Mommy, what do you mean by transported here?" Nala asked as she didn't understand.

"Oh crap…Nala, you were awake?" Jeremiah asked as she nodded.

"Uh huh, whats America? And why are they all looking at Mr. Fluffy here?" She asked as she pointed to Zeus.

"Mr. Fluffy?" Wow, Zeus was going to love that nickname.

"Yep! Because he's fluffy!" She said as she nuzzled his fur.

"Well…uhm…." How was he going to explain this to his daughter.

"Your father is an alien." Winter said as Jem looked at his girlfriend.

"Winter!" He whined as that was not how he wanted to tell her.

"D-Daddy Is an alien?" Nala's face looked weird.

"No, I'm just from another planet!" He said as her eyes widened.

"D-Do you have a spaceship?" She asked as he shook his head.

"Sorry Kiddo, I didn't travel here by Space." He said as she looked disappointed.

"So you admit you're an alien!"

 **DO DO DO DO DOOOO DOOOOO DOOOOOO DOOOOOOOO DOO DOOOOOOO DOOOOOOOOOO**

"Why is the X files theme playing?" Jem asked as he saw Nora had a tiny boombox on her.

"Sorry, had to do it." She said with a grin.

"Geez, just great." Suddenly Nala was sitting on his lap.

"You look normal." She said as she pulled his lips up to look at his teeth.

"OW!" He said as she let go.

"You don't have big scary teeth." She said as she was disappointed that her father didn't look different from a regular human.

"That's because he's a humanoid alien." Winter said trying to explain it to her.

"So…he's still a human? But…an Alien human?" She said as Winter nodded.

"That's right…" Wow, this was not a conversation she expected to have with the faunus girl.

"Okay!" Nala went back to sleeping on Zeus.

"Really Winter? Is that all I am? An alien?" He said with a joking tone.

"Of course, beam me up Scotty." She joked along.

"Scotty was a human, if anything you would call me Mr. Spock…..also come on, you know I'm not a Trekkie…." He looked to the camera.

"Lucas hound all the way…" He said as Star Wars was better in his opinion.

 **Meanwhile in Menagerie**

"I do believe hiring this cook was one of the best decisions we have ever made." Kali smiled as she had to admit, she was enjoying this foreign food.

"I still don't see how she appeared out of nowhere." Ghira said as he had to admit the food was good.

But this hysterical elderly lady showed up out of nowhere begging to use a kitchen. Naturally he couldn't turn her away, even if she was a bit out of place. A human suddenly appearing on Menagerie out of nowhere? Something wasn't right. All he knew was that she got in there and just started cooking out of Stress.

Not that he was complaining the food was delicious.

"Dio Mio! Please! Eat more!" Grandmama said as she walked out and placed another beef dish on the table.

"Could we please get some more seafood?" Kali asked politely.

"Of course! Just wait!" Grandmama raced back into the kitchen.

"Well she certainly works fast." Kali looked around the table.

"Still though, I can't believe whats going on…." Ghira said as the whole village was being fed.

As it turns out, Grandmama cooked when she was stressed, and the stress of finding out she wasn't in America anymore, combined with the fact that she had been separate from her familia. It was not a comfortable feeling. Which actually worked for the Village's benefit. While they did eat well by themselves, it was amazing what the elderly Italian woman could find.

They had never seen a ninety year old woman catch that many fish, shrimp, and LOBSTER with one net? Apparently not only did she cook well, but she knew how to catch her own food. And it was amazing to watch. Needless to say, as long as there were hungry bellies on this island, no soul would go hungry.

"ORDER UP!" Grandmama gave a plate to a villager who was waiting.

"Thank you Grandmama!" A small child got a large beef bowl in steaming brother.

"Of course, now run back home!" Grandmama said as she ran back into the kitchen.

Yeah, after word got out that there was a bunch of free food being offered, they all came running towards the village leader's home. Well, actually they didn't so much as hear about it, as they could smell that intoxicating smell coming from a mile away.

And if the Italian food wasn't enough, Grandmama was also skilled in Asian, French, German, and American cuisine, if you wanted something, she could get it. Hence why no one seemed to have any problem ordering something they liked, because chances are she could make it.

Have you ever seen an elderly woman make Blood sausage stew that tastes so good you want to come back for seconds, thirds, and fourths? Well let me tell you, it was delicious! Especially if you were a bat faunus….yeah, blood sausage…bat faunus….Grandmama got a laugh out of the Faunus who was named Dr. Acula.

"Does she ever stop?" Ghira was actually worried the old ladie's heart would give out with all this stress.

"AS LONG AS CHILDREN ARE HUNGRY! I WILL NOT STOP!" Grandmama yelled from the kitchen.

"What a noble goal….I like her…" Kali said with a smile.

"So do I, but the village isn't starving…" As a matter of fact they were doing quite well with the recent fishing voyages, trade routes, and of course they recently had a breakthrough in agriculture and crops.

"True, but I don't think we can stop her now, besides she isn't using any of our supplies…as shocking as that is." Kali couldn't believe it.

When Grandmama caught all that seafood earlier, she thought that would be it, but no, you see Beef was still a hard thing to find, and they don't know how she got it, but somehow she managed to find beef. They even checked the local inventory and meat lockers….not a single bit was missing?

So where the hell did she get it?

Well…the answer was simple….did you know there were Grimm Cows? And they taste the same as regular beef? With no negative effects?

Well….Grandmama armed with a rolling pin…and an Italian temper…led to a few Grimm cows getting slaughtered.

 **With Blaze**

"Oooooooohhhh." Blaze woke up as he noticed Ms. Penny was just sleeping in the corner as he rubbed his eyes.

"Well, better wake up Cristofer and-" Suddenly his left hand felt something soft…and his right hand something hard.

"Mmmmm, five more minutes." He turned to look at the faunus strippers from before.

"Wait…that was real?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes just to make sure he wasn't drinking.

And then he pinched himself….and then bit his lip, and then he realized…this wasn't a dream….THAT REALLY HAPPENED?!

He slept with two futas? The one thing he had fantasized about on his fanfiction account for years?! And he had finally done it?! It felt too good to be true! But it was.

"You know….Screw it, I'm going back to bed." He said as he laid in between the two strippers again.

He loved his life…he really did.

 **WITH CRISTOFER**

"I HATE THIS PLACE…" Cristofer was pissed off.

He had to beat up a homeless guy for his clothes, and then he had to beat up a guy in a strange white animal mask for cash. And then he realized he wasn't in America, he was in some weird world where people had animal ears. At first the thought they were furries.

But when he tried to rip the ears off of someone's head…they reacted violently.

Needless to say…Cristofer was now being hunted for assault.

It was not a good day for him.

 **With Momma and Pa**

"So you're looking for your son?" Taiyang asked as Zwei was currently laying on Momma's lap.

"RUFF!" They smelled nice, like another dog! Would he have a new dog friend! He was so exicted for new dog friend!

"Yes, he went missing a month ago." Momma said as Taiyang looked sympathetic.

"I understand, I worry about my daughters too." He said as it took him awhile to get used to the fact that they wanted to go to Beacon.

"What's your sons name?" He asked as Dale spoke up.

"Jeremiah." He said as Taiyang raised an eyebrow.

"Really? That's the name of my daughters friend?" He said as they raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I doubt that…your daughters could possibly know my son, we're…we're not from around here." Momma said as she knew they weren't in America anymore.

They were in a foreign country….a country that wasn't America….which wasn't good…

Well…at least it wasn't Canada.

"Weird, that's the same thing my daughters said when I asked them about their new friend." He said as he handed them a photo.

"Here's a picture of them, you know its weird, sometimes I think they look alike, but must just be my imagination." He said as Momma shot up like a bullet.

"THAT'S OUR SON!" She yelled as Dale spoke up.

"Wait! Those are the two girls that he brought home that one time!" Dale recognized those two, Ruby and Yang!

"What….do…you…mean?" Taiyang suddenly felt protective.

"Oh it was nothing like that, he was dating some high class lady." Momma pulled out a picture of her son with his girlfriend.

"WHAT?!" Taiyang was shocked at the picture.

"YOUR SON IS DATING WINTER SCHNEE?!"

 **Back with Jeremiah.**

"Huh, I feel like something weird is about to happen.." He didn't know why.

And then Klein entered the room.

"Uhm….Miss Schnee? There is….someone here to see you…" Klein looked a bit confused.

"Who is it?" She asked as he still looked confused.

"Uhm, he gave a rather..strange answer." Klein honestly didn't know how to react.

"Well we can't see him-" All of a sudden they heard a guitar riff go off.

"HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEYYY!" They saw a tall man in a colorful outfit and a big ass afro power slide in the room like Pete Townsend.

"SUNFLOWER!" He yelled as Nala's face suddenly lit up and she ran towards him.

"COUSIN DANDY!" She yelled as Jeremiah's and Winter's jaws dropped.

"COUSIN?!" Oh shit, did they just kidnap a girl?

The now named Dandy, happily reached out and picked Nala up right after he placed what looked to be a normal cane on the ground, well normal except for the big ass disco ball, only for it to make a small crater in the floor. Seems like that may have been his weapon. Once Dandy had Nala is his grasp, he quickly jumped to his feet and began twirling around in a circle laughing along with Nala. Before bringing her into a loving hug

"I'm so glad you are alright my little sunflower! I thought I lost you forever!" The man practically shouted with joy.

While Dandy was paying attention to Nala, he didn't care that the other occupants in the room were staring at him, more specifically, his apperance! The man practically stood at the same height, if not taller than Yatsuhashi from team CFVY. His attire looked to be straight out from the 70's due to the open vest yellow long sleeved jacket he wore, pretty much the same thing Blake saw Sun wearing, except Dandy's abs seemed to look better. In fact, Dandy's abs looked like they were related to Suns own abs! The long yellow elastic pants he wore clung to his long legs, going all the way to the start of his boots. The boots were no surprise also yellow, but had a pointy tip to it covered in metal plating.

But the most noticeable feature on this man pretty much had the attention of everyone in the room because on top of his head was

"Big.." Blake started off

"Puffy" Both Nora and Ruby followed in sync

"HAIR!" Yang shouted as she couldn't believe the amount of hair this guy had, and here she thought her hair must have been hard to maintained.

Yes on top of Dandy's head was what appeared to be hair, only it was a gigantic Afro! When he slid in, he must have had a pretty fast running start because his giant fro pretty much had to squeeze right into the small doorway seeing how his hair may have not been able to fit through the entrance way.

"What….the…fuck?" Jeremiah said to himself.

Winter was way too confused to form a sentence. While Jeremiah was worried, his daughter just ran into a FREAKING HIPPIES ARMS!

To make matters worse, his name was Dandelion….damn it, he was a hippy wasn't he?

"WAIT A MINUTE! I know that guy!" Ruby pulled out her scroll as she looked at her music playlist.

"Isn't that the guy who writes most of the songs on your scroll?" Yang pointed out as she saw the album cover on the scroll.

"Can you believe this motherfucking shit?" Jeremiah suddenly knew how Eddie Murphy's dad felt in delirious.

After giving Nala plenty of hugging, Dandy placed little Nala down onto the ground before turning his attention to the group, more specifically Ruby.

"Little Red, little Red, ah am pleased to hear someone recognizes me here, and here ah thought anyone staying in this Schnee's mansion didn't listen to my teams performance! If, yah like, I'd be more than happy to give ya an autograph, but for now, for those who don't know who ah am, let me introduce myself!" Hooking the tip of his boot under the ball part of his cane, he kicked it up and grabbed the staff part before twirling it around as he made his way towards the group dancing in quite a groovy/upbeat manner.

"My name is Dandy...DANDY LION! I am the lead singer as well as team leader to the GROOVIEST Team this side of Remnant, TEAM DSCO!(Disco)" With that said, Dandy struck a disco pose, pointing his cane high above his head, the disco ball on top giving off a bright light as it began spinning around giving all sorts of colors of the rainbow.

"Now then," Getting out of his pose as he began side stepping back and forth, as he began looking over everyone, scanning the room for a certain someone.

"With my introduction out of the way, may I know the names of the people who have been housing my sweet little sunflower Nala, as well as the man who saved my precious flower? I need to give him my personal gratitude!" He gave out a bright smile as Jeremiah had to resist the urge to run away from the hippy.

"Uhm…that would be me…" He really had to resist his natural urge to punch a hippy.

Worse….it was a disco hippy, a rare breed of hippy…

It also didn't help that his 5'8'' stature made him look like a midget next to this behemoth of a hippy! Yes, it was well established that he was a hippy. But he couldn't help but point it out.

"That's my daddy!" Nala said as she hugged Jem around the neck

"Nala, be careful with your father, he can't breath." Winter said as Jem was turning blue.

"Sorry Mom!" She said with a sheepish grin.

Upon hearing the words Mommy and daddy, Dandy immediately froze from his side stepping before he had a chance to say anything towards the man who saved his little sunflower.

Standing up straight, Dandy lowered his sunglasses, yellow slitted eyes staring at Jeremiah with a raised eyebrow.

"Come again? Heheh..ah could have sworn yah just called him daddy, and the eldest schnee here mommy little sunflower." If one were to pay attention to Dandy's Afro, they would have seen the puffy afro had deflated slightly.

His tail had also started swaying much slower than it did before, suddenly he wasn't sure what to think about the man he was supposed to save.

"Yep! Daddy saved me from the white fang! And carried me all the way to safety!" Nala said as Jem chuckled.

"Nala, I would hardly say I saved you from them, it was just a few grunts." He said as Nala just continued to smile.

"Uh huh! And she is my mommy now! Although she was a bit mean to Daddy at first! The weird thing is they play this game that they won't let me know about, all I know is that apparently it has something to do with wrestling considering what Aunt Blake told me!" She said as Winter covered her mouth.

"NO! There's no game! No game at all!" She said with a red blush.

"Uh...you want a beer?" Jeremiah said to the giant hippy.

Dandy's eyes widened as he processed Nala's words.

"Nala...ah have someone here who ah'm sure you would love ta see again in the other room back there. Me and your "Daddy and Mommy" need to have a little chit chat.." Je said as he opened his eyes and turned towards Yang.

"You" He pointed at her causing Yang to blink at the sudden intrusion.

"Me?"

"Yes you, would yah be ah dear and take Nala back to the other room to meet said person, ah'm sure you already know her, but ah think it might do yah some good if you and her became good friends since ah'm not sure if you might still hold a grudge against her or not." What did he mean by that?

Yang just blinked again completely unsure what he meant or who he was talking about, looking toward Jermiah wondering if its okay to take Nala or not.

"Uh, yeah, Yang…go ahead…" He said as Yang walked with Nala out of the room.

"Bye Dad! Bye Mom! Bye Cousin!" She said as she walked out of the room.

"Beer? Or something a little stronger?" He offered again, this was one of those moments where you needed a drink

"Beer Please…" He said as Jeremiah handed him a dark beer.

"Here we go…dark beer, some of the stronger stuff, after that whole….revelation, I think we both need it…" Jeremiah honestly didn't know what to think of this guy. He sat down and held hands with Winter.

Suddenly he caught something out of the corner of his eye.

"Wait a minute…isn't that?" He recognized the girl skating into the back room.

"Isn't that the woman who Yang fought in the tournament?" Winter pointed out.

Dandy sighed as he took the beer, sitting down on the couch across from them, his hair suddenly deflated a lot more but still kept afloat, only the hair looked more silky then puffy.

"Thank yah kindly Jeremiah...this month has not been great for me really..and ah could use the hard stuff right about now. Ah rather not have Nala see me drinking this since she well...looks up to me yah know? Especially with what ah have ta tell ya'll" He said as he looked towards Neon.

Dandy began as he took a swig of the beer, shivering a bit at the taste at first but calmed down a bit after.

"Ah yes..Neon.." A small smile appeared on his face as he looked into the room where he saw Nala playing on top of Neon's shoulder as she skated around the place with Yang chasing after them trying to ask questions, who knew what was going on?

"Couldn't ask for a better girl to have as mah girlfriend if yah ask me. We've been through thick and thin ever since we joined Atlas academy two years ago. Ah do have ta apologize for her actions in the tournament, just that she was trying to cheer me up is all, my team was suppose to take part in it and even perform live there, but we had to cancel due to me being down in the dumps after hearing what happened to Nala's parents...Ah'm afraid...it's my fault they died..." It was then that Dandy's afro lost its fro and fell straight down covering his entire face almost reaching down to the floor.


	79. An Explanation

**So this chapter was a little weird to write because I'm not good at writing depressing scenes, and most of this was written by 'TheMischeviousPuppyDog.' So in reality, he gets the credit for most of this chapter.**

 **Also I know what a Futa is, thats why I put it in for Blaze, come on its Blaiseingfire, you know his stories. So some were not too happy with me writing that part in.**

 **I know that some of you didn't like the fact that Blaze slept with futas, and he has this to say to you:**  
 **Blaiseingfire: PURGE THE HERETICS!"**

 **Thank you Blaze.**

* * *

"The hell you talking about? Nala said her parents died in a car accident." Jeremiah didn't see how Dandy could be the cause.

Dandy sighed, shaking his head in agreement.

"Yes...yes they did...but..it was no mere accident...it was a murder.." Dandy stated as he slowly reached into his open vest and slowly pulled out a crumbled up letter before placing it on the coffee table in front of him for everyone to see.

Now this could have just been a normal letter...that is, if it wasn't for the emblem stamped at the top of the of the letter, that everyone knew all too well. Especially Blake because at the very bottom of the letter, was the signature of Adam Taurus, written in blood red ink as well as the rest of the letter.

"No.." Adam did this?

"Yes..ah'm afraid so..." Moving his hair aside Dandy took another swig of the beer he was given before he continued to speak.

"A week before the Vytal Festival began, ah received this letter in the mail addressed to me and only me. Now at first ah thought it was another fan mail for me to write back to, but as soon as ah opened it, ah saw the same thing everyone else is staring at right now.." Dandy stated as he stared down at the letter, even though his eyes were barely visible because of his hair you could see a glimmer of sadness flash across them, his sunglasses looked like they were about to fall off. If one were to focus on Dandy's eyes, they would see nothing but sadness, guilt, yet the strongest of all...Hatred.

"Because..." Dandy lifted his head staring right into Jeremiah's eyes

"As Little red stated before, my team and I make music for everyone to hear across Remnant, and we are well known for it... Too well known to be exact...this Adam fellow in the letter, gave me an offer to join the White Fang, but if I were to, I'd have to not only kill my human team mates...but also make a song talking about the evil and corruption of the Schnee's father…." He trailed off for a second.

He began looking towards Winter then towards Weiss

"The evil and corruptiion that their father has within his soul, and how White Fang would destroy the "Human Menace", if ya ask me, it's ah load of Grimm shit, and poor choice of stuff to go by for ah song."

Dandy placed the beer on the counter before reaching into his pocket and pulled out his scroll and began tapping away at the files looking for something as he did this he continued where he left off.

"He said ah had three days to comply, and if I didn't I would suffer the consequences..as you can guess from the crumbled up letter, I tossed the letter aside and told my team mates about this, now they weren't to happy to hear about this, but they knew I wouldn't go through with this. Me and my team, Jeremiah…we believe in change, we believe in equality for both Human and Faunaskind alike, which is the reason why we started making music. We aren't in it for the fame, the fortune, nor the women or drugs. We do it for the people Jeremiah, and we want to spread our love for music for everyone to enjoy and hear. It also helps that our music tends to bring negativity down when ever people listen to our music" In Dandy's voice was nothing but the truth.

And in reality, their music did do a lot to help the world, maybe not as much as picking up a weapon and fighting against the Grimm, but the gift of music was that while it didn't help fight the war, it could remind you that there was something worth fighting for, something to live for waiting for you back home.

In some areas where poverty reigned supreme and people didn't have a lot of hope, Team DSCO brought hope. And it was a beautiful thing.

"I see..." All of that just because he refused Adam's offer, man and he thought he was a dick before.

"Damn..." He said as he reached for his flask.

"Seems like you could use something a little stronger." He handed the flash to Dandy.

Dandy gratefully took the flask and took a swig of it, his reaction to it was a bit stronger then the last time, his hair suddenly got fuzzy like electricity was going through him, he quickly stopped drinking and began coughing

"M-my word, that stuff is strong, a-as much as I would like to continue drinking it, ahm afraid I might get drunk if I continued drinking this and I'm not here to get wasted..." Dandy stated as he handed the flask back before placing his scroll on the table.

"Now me and the gang did decide to make a song in regards towards Mr. Schnee, but it's definitely not the kind this Adam fella wanted. Besides us, Neons team, and including the mad man himself, you are the some of the first people to hear this song that has yet to be released to the public."

With a press of a button, the top of dandys cane opened up, only for two flying cameras with speakers on them to fly out and began floating around the room before music started playing. Now this song was new to everyone all except for Jeremiah who recognized it almost immediately.

"Michael Jackson?" Yeah that was man in the mirror! What were the odds of them remaking it?

There were a few key differences, for example, the lyrics said 'If you want to make Remnant a better place.' Allusions to earth money were replaced with Lien. And instead of 'Chamon' or whatever Michael Jackson said when he went crazy, you could hear Dandy saying 'Groovy'.

As he was listening to the song, he could hear that most of the singers were male, with…was that Neon's voice in there? He couldn't tell.

"Now ahm not sure why, but this song just came to me yah know, but the strangest thing is that for some reason ah could have sworn ah saw a man with a white fedora and shiny white glove in the recording studio when we were recording the song...though was gone right after the song was finished like he vanished or something.." Oh, Dandy didn't know…..But Jeremiah did.

" _Odin's Beard….Michael Jackson is haunting Dandy…"_ There was no other explanation for it.

In the other room, Neon finally stopped skating all over the place, talking with Yang while she was rubbing the now sleeping form of Nalas head, she turned towards the music that was playing, a sad expression on her face "Dandy..."

After four minutes went by, the song finished, the drones now going back into Dandy's disco ball once more, picking up his scroll he began pressing numerous buttons once more

"As you can see...it's ah good song, and I can see that some of you" He began eyeing the two Schnees, Ruby, Blake, and the rest excluding Yang since she wasn't in the room.

"If not most like the song my team sung about Mr. Schnee...the Adam fellow however..was not pleased with the results.." Placing his scroll back down, and pressing a button, a video began to play that everyone had to huddle up to see.

In the video was none other than Adam himself and he did not look please by the scowl on his face.

"Dandy Lion, to my displeasure you failed to comply with the offer I gave you, and instead sided with those human scum! Not only did you side with them, but instead of making the song I wanted, you made a song talking about change, equality, and making Remnant a better place for human and Faunus kind. You and your teams ideals of peace and equality are nothing more than ideals! You are a fool for siding with the humans just like my former partner, and now you will suffer the consequences for your actions."

With Adams speech done, Adam took the camera and zoomed in on a car driving down a street. Inside the car showed a couple, a man and a woman who was a Faunus judging by the ears on top of the women's head and in the back seat was none other than Nala herself. As they were driving down the street heading towards a four way stop light that was green on there side, just as they were about to make it across, another car slammed right into theirs at full speed causing Nala's car to flip numerous amounts of times before finally landing on its back side.

From what you could see, you were able to see the side Nala was on, but you could definitely see her father knocked out and looked to be heavily bleeding out from his forehead.

But one thing was for sure, Nala's mother may have been a Faunus, but it was her father that was a surprise.

He was a human….

The other occupant in that car was none other than a white Fang grunt who just so happened to have gotten out of the car and run down an alleyway to get away from the scene of the accident. The camera turned back towards Adam.

"I hope it was worth joining the humans Dandy, because now, say good bye to your precious human loving family!"

The camera then changed to show a grunt on top of the same roof with Adam, holding a rocket launcher. The grunt took aim at the car and after a few seconds, fired the missle; the rocket flew straight down towards the wreck and upon making contact, blew the car up sky high. Leaving a heavy smoke cloud burn into the sky as the remains of the car was in flames with no chance to escape. The camera was left on the car for a few more seconds before turning towards Adam who had a sinister grin on his face before the video cut to an end.

"Bastard…." Blake clenched her fist…how could Adam do this? What was the point?

Ruby didn't say a word, she may have been a girl who believed in fairy tales, but it was at this moment that she realized that the fairy tale villians she grew up with, they were nothing compared to the real monsters of the world.

Weiss and Winter just looked down, to think that Adam hated their father so much that he was willing to kill an innocent faunus family just over a song, it was disgusting and left a sick taste in their mouths.

Jaune and Pyrrha couldn't believe what they just saw, Pyrrha would have stood up in anger, but she still wasn't ready to walk yet, heck, only recently did they have her on crutches, and even then that was risky for her to do. Jaune merely settled for gripping her hand tightly.

Nora felt like crying, but they were more like tears of anger.

Ren remembered when his parents were killed by Grimm, but this was different, Grimm were mindless monsters, this was a Faunus who had the capacity for making good and evil decisions, and he had willingly chose to kill people in cold blood….it made him want to vomit.

Unknowing to Dandy and Adam, Nala had exited out of the car in hopes to get help before the car had exploded.

Dandy was shaking at this point, both from great sorrow for Nala parents and rage/hatred towards Adam. Stray tears began falling from his eyes at this point as it was hard to control his emotions. Luckily for him Neon skated into the room as fast as she could before bringing Dandys head into her chest hoping to calm him down if not comfort him.

"Jesus Christ…." Jeremiah was shaking in rage as he looked at his sleeping daughter.

"All of that…just over a song…" Winter couldn't help but feel angry.

Jem wasn't good at comforting people but he put a hand on Dandy's shoulder.

"Hey man…it's not your fault…" He said as Dandy shook his head.

"No….I did this, If I didn't write that song…Nala's parents would still be here…" He said as Jem sighed.

"Dandy…I honestly don't think it would have made a difference, Adam's a psychopath, who's to say he wouldn't have tried to keep you under his boot? Act as his propaganda machine under threat of violence or death?" He asked as Dandy looked down.

"Look, What happened was terrible, but you can't let that hold you back, Nala's here now, and you should be thankful that you still have that family left…" He knew from experience, sometimes other people didn't get that chance.

"How can I look at her without feeling guilty?" Dandy asked as his Afro was deflating a bit.

"Dan…if you truly believed she was better off without you, why make the trip here? You have a chance to make things right, look at Nala, did you see the look on her face when she saw you again? You think someone would have told her that her parents were back! Now tell me something…" He looked Dandy in his eyes.

"Are you going to let this guilt weigh you down? Or are you going to take this oppurtunity right in front of you?" He asked as Dandy remained silent.

"Well…I believe you know the answer." Dandy said as Jem smiled.

"Good, now…there is just one problem." He said as he sat back down on the couch.

"Her living arrangements?" He asked as Jem nodded.

"Yes, as you can see, she's gotten a bit…attached to Winter and I." He said as Dandy chuckled.

"By attached you mean she's calling you Mommy and Daddy?" He asked as Jeremiah chuckled.

"Yeah, so obviously we can't just let her go that easily…" Dandy's hair went down at that, Neon was about to speak up when Jem held up a hand.

"But hey, that's not saying you can't come and visit, I mean hell, any family of Nala's is family of mine." And then all of a sudden Jem started laughing.

"Huh, whats so funny?" Neon asked as he just starting laughing like a mad man.

"Oh gods…my Grandmama would love this guy." He said as both Neon and Dandy looked confused.

"So, you're saying that Nala should stay with you?" Dandy asked as Jem nodded.

"Well…we have technically unofficially adopted her, we just need to sign the papers…" He said as Dandy looked at the two with an intense look.

"Well….tell you what, I'll agree to this, but first…..a test if you will." Dandy said as he stood up.

"Test?" Jem suddenly had a bad feeling.

"Of course! A test to see if you're worthy!" He said as he got out his cane.

"Okay, a fight, I can deal with this." He said as he got his weapons out.

"Could you guys do this outside?" Winter asked as it wouldn't do them any good to fight in here.

"Fight? Oh, well that too, but no I am talking about a much greater task!" Dandy said in a happy tone.

"Wait…what do you mean?" Jem suddenly didn't have a good feeling.

"A test of your singing and dancing ability of course!" Dandy got a dopey look on his face as Jem's eyes went wide.

"WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!"


	80. Drink and Dance

**Okay, so once again MPD helped me out with this, we wrote this in a RP type scenario, so its not like my usual writing. Anyways, here we go.**

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"YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" Jeremiah had to resist the urge to yell loud enough to wake Nala up.

"No, I am not shitting you." Dandy said with a toothy grin.

"I'll fight you, but do I really need to sing and dance? I mean, I can't dance! Look at me! Do you see how white I am?" He pointed at his skin.

"Well…you did get better at dancing." Winter pointed out as Jaune spoke up.

"Yeah, remember? You improved by leaps and bounds when I gave you lessons." He said as Jem glared.

"Then it's settled!" Dandy said as he activated his cane.

Which then turned into a disco ball and strobe lights, and random music started coming out.

"*Yawn* Whats going on?" Nala asked as Dandy smiled.

"Your daddy and I are going to have a dance off!" He said as Nala suddenly looked wide awake.

"WOW REALLY?!" She got really excited.

"No! He's crazy!" Jeremiah really didn't want to do this.

"Pot calling the kettle black!" Neon had heard the stories Yang told about Jeremiah. He was one weird individual.

"Do I really have to do this?" Jeremiah asked as he crossed his arms.

He used to be a decent singer, but his dancing skills were not the best. And seriously? Dandy decided that the best way to test his abilites wasn't through a feat of strength, not through a fight, but through a FREAKING DANCE OFF?! Granted, there might still be a fight, and he could live with that, Dandy may have towered over him, but he would take that over having to dance against him, for fucks sake, he was a professional musician and Jem was white as hell!

Having a small smirk on his face, Dandy pointed his cane directly at Jeremiah.

"It is ah MUST!, if you plan on keeping my little sunflower happy through out life and help follow her dreams while I'm not around, ah need to know if you got what it takes to do so!" Dandy stated as he flipped his cane around placing the ball part of his cane onto the ground, making sure it didn't cause damage to the floor this time.

Leaning against it, he lifted up his hand and began doing the 1,2,3 motion.

"For starters, when ever Nala is feeling down when she's with me, ah always sing her a song whether it's a song I know, or a song I just made up depending on the situation! The better you are as a singer and the faster and more complex your body movements are, the faster my little flower blooms once again!"

Flipping his cane back up, Dandy began side stepping twirling his cane with each step before showing two fingers

"Next, my little flower has a ton of energy within her system, always being the hyperactive sunshine I've come to known over the years. Which is why if she ever becomes too hyperactive, you could always dance with her! The more skilled you are and stamina you have, the faster you can tire her out! That and it's also a GROOOOVY WORK OUT~!" It was then he gestured his hands towards his abs as he began shaking his hips.

Neon was definitely liking what she was seeing, and who wouldn't?

Well Jeremiah wasn't…he didn't like this situation at all.

"That and it helps trains one stamina, and flexibility, in more ways then one~" He stated mainly for Winter and Jeremiah, seeing how there was some hidden meaning in what Dandy just spoke that some people may actually know what he meant by that.

"Woah woah woah! Nothing is going on!" Jeremiah said as he looked to Nala who was about to ask a question about what Dandy meant by that.

"Look, I'm not denying it's a great workout, but who do I look like? Michael Flatley?" He asked as he couldn't dance as well as Dandy.

"Come on Jeremiah, who ever this Flatley character is, just know...everybody can dance! Even you! So don't be such ah spoil sport yah hear?"

With that said Dandy stopped dancing and stood up straight. Taking his glasses off for a moment.

"As for the final test...ah need to see how good your reflexes are and how strong you really are. Now ah can train you ah bit and I'm sure the others can too. But I need to know now if you really can protect Nala to the fullest..." Reaching his left hand to his right. He began taking off the lone glove he had on his right, and as soon as he did, it was revealed that his hand was actually a robotic hand, possibly the newest Atlas model

"Even if it costs you an arm or a leg doin so...as long as you can protect and keep my sunflower happy. Then ah have no problem with her staying here...plus, it could help the bond between human and Faunus relationships!" Dandy stated the last part gleefully.

"I can live with that." He said as Winter looked at him.

"Really? You can deal with losing an arm or a leg, but dancing is too much?" Winter asked as she facepalmed.

"Well fine, if I have to do this, I'll do it…but first…" He walked over to Qrow and stole his flask.

"Hey!" He said as he saw his Son do a few gulps.

Dandy just looked on as he saw him drink from the flask, it wasn't enough to get anyone drunk, but also enough to probably make it so he didn't feel like an idiot dancing.

"There, okay I think I'm ready now." He said as he loosened his neck up a bit.

"This should be funny." Winter said as she sat down and smirked.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you had to do this!" He pointed out as she just chuckled.

It was at that moment Dandy gained the grin of a Cheshire Cat. What was he planning?

"Oh ah forgot ta mention, the dance has two rounds! The first round is a 1v1 between me and you Jeremiah, as for the second round...it will be a 2v2 between us and our loooove partners~! So Miss Schnee, ahm pleased to say that you ARE gonna have ta participate in this little test of ours~" He said while wiggling his eyebrows.

Neon practically giggled at the last part, especially the look on winters face when Dandy revealed that she did have to take part in this dance~

"WHAT?!" She yelled as she was not expecting this.

"HA! NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT!" Jeremiah was currently pointing and laughing at his girlfriend.

"Oh like you have any right to talk, you've been complaining ever since he mentioned dancing!" She said as he still retained his grin.

"But now you can suffer with me!" That made everything better.

Jem decided to just go to hell with it, if this was what he needed to do to get Dandy's approval so he could officially adopt Nala, then so be it...and he had a few shots of moonshine in him, so he wouldn't feel embarrassment if he fucked up a dance move.

"Come now you two! Dancing isn't that bad! It's GROOVY! Like ah said before, anyone can dance! Whether it be good or bad! All yah gotta do is put yah heart into it! Now then..."

Looking around the room, Dandy placed his left hand under his chin

"Hmm..This won't do at all...you wouldn't happen to have a ball room or something we could use to dance in..would you Schnee?" Dandy asked as he looked at both Weiss and Winter.

"Yes we do…this way…" Weiss was trying to keep her laughter in.

Winter and Jem were not the best dancers, they were decent at best, but Dandy seemed to be going for a different type of dancing, Jem and Winter were only experienced in Ballroom dancing rather than breakdancing.

Either way, should be funny.

"GROOVEY! Lead the way snowflake~!" Dandy stated with glee.

It was then that Weiss got up and started leading the way to the ball room that they could use for the dance. As the group followed Dandy turned around and began walking backwards looking straight at Jeremiah.

"Now then, the rules are simple, seeing how I'm challenging you to this dance "competition" You mah friend get to pick the song for the 1v1 round! As for the 2v2 ah have the perfect song for us to use~!" Dandy stated with glee as he turned back around his tail swaying all over the place as it showed his excitement to get his Groove on~!

"Uh okay.." Jeremiah pulled out his scroll and went through his playlist.

"How did you manage to get all your music on your scroll from your phone?" Winter asked as the two technologies were not that compatible.

"The power of alcohol and one engineering class can really do wonders." He said as he was going through his playlist.

"COUNTING BODIES LIKE SHEEP TO THE RHYTHM OF THE WAR DRUMS!" Rang out of his scroll as he silenced that.

"Oops...sorry...that was a song from my emo days in high school..." He looked for something else he could use.

"Okay, hang on, I got to have something I can use that isn't metal or country." Neither genre was really good for dancing to...except the time he was trying to be a stripper and he was using big and rich songs.

"Well while you look for a song Jerry, ah'll spruce up this dance room ah bit!" Dandy said as they arrived to the room where they were suppose to hold the dance off.

A smooth marble floor greeted them, while the windows around the room gave a nice view of the back yard of the Schnee mansion. Above were multiple chandlers, 4 in total occupying the center of the room in a square like formation due to a giant hand painted Schnee emblem painted in the middle of the chandeliers.

"Hmmm..Snowflake, how much lien did it cost to get that emblem of your family to be painted up there?..." Dandy took a close look at the ceiling, contemplating something.

"It's Weiss..." Why did everyone give her nicknames.

"Ah know snowflake..now please answer the question if yah may?"

Getting an irritated growl from Weiss she answered "Around 5,000 lien! Why-" before Weiss could answer Dandy raised his hand up to stop her.

"That's all ah needed tah know" Dandy said as he walked to the middle of the room looking up at the ceiling above him. Rotating his robotic hand, the one that held his cane a couple times before pulling his arm back, and in an instant, threw his cane into the air, the cane spinning multiple times towards the ceiling until finally….

THUNK WABABABA

The cane part of Dandys weapon impaled itself right into the ceiling, exactly in the center part of the emblem! Quickly pulling out his scroll Dandy pressed a button, what ever that button was, it stopped the still vibrating Cane, they heard the sound of a few clicks as it locked into the ceiling. However it caused a few more cracks to form in the Schnee family emblem.

Another button was pressed on Dandys scroll, and in an instant, the ball part of the cane began lowering itself down from a metal wire that looked to be coming from either the disco ball or the cane, it was kinda hard to tell.

"There we go~ you found a song yet Jeremiah? When yah do let me know so ah can hook yah scroll up to tha speakers in mah cane!" Dandy said not caring but the gawking look from Weiss. She couldn't believe he just did that to their ceiling!

"Wow, Father is going to be pissed." Winter said as Jeremiah was looking at a few things.

"You find anything yet?" She asked as he was scrolling through a few things, his speaker playing a few things he had saved, from podcasts to songs.

" _Strength, Courage, Mastery, and Honor are the four tactical virtues."_ No, that was a podcast.

" _AT DAWNS FIRST LIGHT!"_ Viking metal screeched through the area as Jem skipped that.

DO DOOO DO DO DOOOOO

Finally Jem smirked as he found the song that could work here.

"Wait…isn't that?" Winter asked as she recognized the music.

"Yep, Break Science-Break Reaction, or as I like to call it, that song from John Wick." Now this was a song he could work with.

Dandys ear twitched when he herd the first part of the song on his scroll.

"Ooooh, that song sounds Dandy~!-"

Yang being Yang, couldn't help but snicker at the pun that was in that sentence, even if it was unintentional

"Mah teammate Coal is ah bit of a rapper himself! Ah'm sure he might enjoy that song of yours~! Now then, hand me your scroll and I'll hook it up the mah weapon above~!"

"Yeah sure." He tossed the scroll over to Dandy.

He stretched his legs out as he realized he should probably be loose for this. Anyways, he didn't know how to break dance, and the only dancing he had really learned by himself was when he learned the Cossacks dance and Irish step dancing. Neither one which was suitable for this.

"I hate to say, but I think you're going to make a fool of yourself." Weiss said as everyone else nodded.

"I believe you mean, WE are going to make fools of ourselves." He said as he looked to Winter who gave him a glare.

Catching the scroll, Dandy began pressing a few buttons on it and connected it to his own scroll. Once it was connected Dandy began downloading the one song he heard Jeremiah was gonna use for the 1v1 dance for his team mate Coal to hear later.

"Come now people, like ah said earlier, everyone can dance! No matter how bad they are, at least they are having a groooovey time doin it! Now then, are you ready to get yah grooove on Jeremiah!" Dandy asked he pressed a button on his own scroll, which caused the disco ball on his weapon to start shining with different colors of dust.

The light was so much that the crystal chandelers that were near it began shining from the rays of light, in which case it then reflected onto the walls, causing a rainbow of colors.

Two holes opened up on the disco ball and the song Jeremiah wanted to use began playing!

"Uh...so now what?" This was still pretty awkward.

"Well, dance." Winter said as she sat down.

"Without people throwing singles at me?" He asked as he glared.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She asked as he scratched his head.

"...I had to pay off my college loans somehow..."

Dandy couldn't help but let out a light chuckle.

"Like Winter said Jeremiah, just dance~! It's understandable to be shy when it comes to dancing, but we all friends here, are we not! Here I'll even start us off~!"

Taking a few steps, Dandy ran forward and leaped towards the floor, the top of his head landing first, now one may think he may have just tumbled onto the floor, but instead of his body hitting the floor he began sliding across the ground on his head! Which in BD terms was a head slide! The head slide was followed up with some Flares, which evolved into air flares! Dandy instantly leaped back after another flares and pointed at Jeremiah.

"Come on Jerry, it your turn!" Dandy stated while internally he kinda felt bad since those moves were kinda...advanced.

"…." Jeremiah was stunned as he looked back at Winter.

"How the hell am I supposed to top that?" He got his flask from Winter.

"Seriously?" She asked as he took a few gulps.

"Hey, I need all the help I can get." He said as he went back to the dancefloor.

"Okay, okay…uhm…" All he could do was resort back to the cossacks dance he had.

"SHIT!" He yelled as he screw up a step and fell face first on the ground.

Upon seeing Jeremiah eat dirt, everyone in the room couldn't help but make the "Oooh" sound.

Dandy included in which he followed up with "That was NOT groovy..come now Jeremiah, mistakes happen to everyone! Even me, ah know you can do better boy!"

With that said with was Dandys turn, who instantly hopped on his robotic hand and began doing Air chair spins, thanks to his robotic arm he was able to make the hand spin him around a couple of times before he lifted his body up and began doing 1990's, which then evolved into the 2,000's the spinning getting faster and faster due to his robotic hand. Due to being upside down, Dandys open shirt fell downward exposing most of his upper body mass, and boy was it good looking! Neon was enjoying the show her boyfriend was putting on especially al the eye candy he was giving her.

Mean while Yang being Yang couldn't help but admire the way Dandy's body looked and felt a bit jealous that Neon had him all to herself. "Dang Neon, your boy has some moves! If he wasn't already with you, I'd try to get him for myself~" She purred at the end.

Ruby finding this inappropriate couldn't help protest from what her sister just said "YAAAANG!"

Neon couldn't help but giggle as she knew Yang was just teasing and couldn't help but tease back.

"Yah know, I wouldn't mind sharing either, I'm sure I could see if Dandy would be interested, As they say, the more people at a 'Party' the better it will be~" Giving Yang a flirtatious wink at the end as well as what she said, made Yang couldn't help but blush to her comment, and here Yang thought she was the queen of flirting and teasing.

Back to the dance, when the 2,000's were over with, Dandy did a quick one arm push-up before leaping onto his feet again giving off a quick disco pose pointing his finger in the air, before bringing it down towards Jeremiah "Your turn brother!"

"I'm okay!" He said as he peeled himself off the ground.

"You went down like a sack of potatoes." Winter said as even she had to admit, that was sad.

"Hey! I'm just getting used to this!" He said listening to the music.

"Okay, uhm, maybe if I try- SHIT!" He said as he slipped and lost his footing, almost like he slipped on a banana peel.

And landed straight on his neck as everyone heard a sickening crunch.

"Owwwwwww….."

Upon seeing that happen, Dandys eyes widened as his hair dropped down to the point it looked like he was wearing one of those droopy hats those rastafarian men wore with the green, red, and yellow color.

"Oh my..ummm Winter ah think yah might want ta give him a bit more booze, sometimes people tend to feel more confident that way, that or it could ease the pain he's doin to his body!" Dandy stated as he REALLY felt bad for Jeremiah, hopefully the alcohol might help the poor fella.

"Freaking dancing….freaking giant Lion breakdancers…" Jeremiah grumbled as Winter gave him the flask.

"I swear, you're doing more damage to your body now then you did in your fight with Cinder…" She said as he took a few more gulps.

"CRAP!" He noticed his flask was empty.

"How am I out of bo….QRRRRROOOOOOWWWW!" He yelled as he realized his dad was stealing his moonshine.

"Dang it!" He threw the flask at his scroll.

"Oh no!" Dandy shouted as the flask went sailing towards Jeremiahs scroll, but the reason why he was shouting was because Dandy had put his own scroll was right next to Jeremiahs! It'd be an utter disaster if-

CLICK

The flask actually hit Jeremiahs scroll, and if that wasn't lucky enough, the flask bounced right off, but not before changing the song on his scroll.

The song didn't start out what most people would think it would be, really it sounded more like two drunken men drinking really. "To prosperity !" Clink "To our good health and happiness!" Clink "And most of important of all!" Clink

"What in grooves name do you have-" Before Dandy could further question why Jeremiah had audio of two men with quite the strange accents on his scroll the one man that was saying most of the words began to...Sing?

"Heheh, Well~, TO LIFE, TO LIFE, LECHAIM!~!" The scroll began to play music sung by the two drunken men from the speaker in Dandy's cane, Dandy just stared at Jeremiahs scroll dumbstruck. Though he would admit, the musical instruments sounded quite nicely.

"OH NO! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T JUST PLAY THAT?!" Jem suddenly got a huge smile on his face as he stood straight up.

"What the?" Winter said as Jeremiah suddenly grabbed a bottle of vodka.

He downed the entire bottle as Nala just watched on, wondering what her daddy was about to do. And that was when he suddenly went through a personality change. What was once was a a clumsy unsure man was now suddenly…confident.

"Zaaaa Vaaasshhe Zdorovie." Jeremiah was getting closer and closer to Dandy as he was clapping his hands to the beat of the song.

"Heaven bless you both! Na Zdorovie! To your health and may we live together in peace!" And that was when he started.

He slapped the ground a few times as he started doing a cossacks dance. He started going down, and then jumping up on his toes, then crouching down and coming up and standing on his heels, he repeated this a few times before he started doing some kind of strange crouching running dance move.

"Is he…actually dancing….well?" Weiss couldn't believe it.

You could see that Jeremiah was actually singing along with it as well, but his voice was drowned out by the voices.

And that was when he did it.

"DAI DAI DAI DAI DAI!" He was now in a sitting postion as he was kicking his legs out with his arms crossed across his chest.

He was actually doing the Prisyadka….

It was then Dandys pupils grew wide, his Afro poofed up again, and finally his grin started to remsemble the grin of the chesire cat. His eyes were pretty much sparkling the same way Blakes did when she saw that fish ramen back at the fair! This was a very rare event for Dandy to see…. a new dance move and boy was he happy to see it!

"GROOOOOOVEY! Jeremiah I don't know what moves those are or where you learned them before but IIIIIII DIG IT~! Because of this new found dance that I so diggingly love, I declare that you my friend, ARE THE WINNER OF THE FIRST ROUND OF THIS DANCE COMPETITION!" Dandy shouted with glee as he watched the rest of the dance to try and take in how the dance moves worked.

"Huh? What?" Jem said drunkenly as he had quite a bit of vodka.

"Oh dang, he's drunk." Yang said as they heard a voice.

"He's always drunk!" Qrow laughed from the upstairs balcony.

"Shut up dad!" He yelled up as Qrow walked away.

"Wow, it is weird being on the other end of this..." Suddenly he saw a woman out of the corner of his eye.

"Well hellloooo Gorgeous." He said as he ran off to go flirt with her.

Suddenly Winter took a few steps forward trying not to look nervous. Jeremiah didn't know why, what did she have to worry about? Wait, he was missing something? The alcohol was currently slowing his mind and...oh...oh wait...he was starting to remember.

"Time for round 2...with partners..." He said as he passed the vodka bottle to Winter.  
"DRINK." He said in his commanding russian accent as Winter shivered a bit.

She had no idea why that accent turned her on so much.


	81. Couples Dance and Cat fight

**Okay everyone, here we go, once again, shoutout to MPD, we both took turns writing this chapter, anyways, sorry I haven't been updating as much, college has been a little crazy. And also St pattys is coming up soon! Which I know I was cutting down on my drinking, but St Pattys is an exception.**

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"Now then~ since round one is now over, lets get started on-" before Dandy could finish, there were a couple of knocks on the door before opening, it was revealed to be Klein, who was bringing a kart full of delicious looking treats as well as some ice cold refreshing water in a pitcher bowl

"I'm sorry for the interruption everyone, but I thought I would but I thought it be a good idea to bring some refreshments for everyone. I'm sure you could use it from all this dancing or watching that's been going on." Klein stated as he began placing the refreshments on a table near by

"Oooh~ well thank yah kindly~! Ah could use a bit of RnR before ah get groovy once more, especially if it's with my lovely Rainbow~" Dandy stated gleefully as he walked over and served himself a glass of water to drink. That alcohol from earlier began to settle a bad taste in his mouth and he wouldn't dare kiss Neon if he had such horrendous alcohol breath.

"You're drunk." Winter said as Jeremiah kissed his hand.

"Beautiful, I'm drunk, but you know what? I was drinking out of my flask, I was drinking out of my own booze supply, so yes I am drunk." H said as he walked over to a pitcher of water.

"But may be a good time to sober up." He said as he poured it over himself, it was soaking through his white t shirt.

"You did that on purpose!" Winter said as he was just teasing her now.

Seeing this Dandy couldn't help but grin "Ah like the way yah think Jerry!"

After Jeremiah placed down the pitcher which surprisingly still had enough water in it, Dandy grabbed the pitcher and dumped the rest of the water onto himself, his Afro instantly becoming drenched and fell down covering most of his face, all except for his his white toothy grin. His body and clothing were getting wet, the only difference between him and Jeremiah was that he wasn't wearing a white shirt. But that didn't stop the water from glistening off the open part of his vest.

Now because of Dandy's weapon still spinning around up top with the lights shining around the room, the water and light combined together with the glistening effect of the water on their muscles gave off a sparkling effect.

Why does that matter? Well, you know how in Anime, the girls will look at a hot guy and the background will change to show that their affections are on another place of existence? Well, both Dandy and Jeremiah were now just shaking the water off for a quick dry...however if you were to look at it from Winter and Neon's perceptions, it was all happening in slow motion with the air around them seeming to sparkle.

Dandy threw his hair back in an arc as he attempted to dry his hair and style it back into his trademark afro, while Jeremiah took his shirt off and you could see the water dripping ever so slowly down his chest. Just to mess with them, they shot their respective lovers seductive looks, almost as if beckoning them to come to them. You can imagine the effect this had on Winter and Neon.

"Uh, Uhm…wow…" Winter said as both her and Neon turned into stuttering wrecks.

"Mines better." She said as Winter glared.

"Excuse me! Do you not see how he looks with his shirt off?" She said as Neon turned to glare back at Winter.

"Mine is bigger and buffer than your scrawny toothpick!"

"Who needs big muscles when you have definition? I'd rather sleep next to someone who has nice muscles that aren't big, and look like he lives in the mountains! Not some guy who looks like he goes to the gym too often!" Winter and Neon were now butting heads.

"Excuse me?! Those aren't gym muscles! Those are muscles he earned from training princess! And at least I don't have to worry about my boyfriend being shorter than me!" Dandy and Jeremiah were suddenly wondering if what they were doing was a good idea, making Neon and Winter fight.

"Woah….so this is what its like to be attractive…" Jeremiah said as he was still stumbling.

"At least I don't have to get on a ladder just to kiss my boyfriend!" Winter and Neon were really getting into the whole butting heads things now.

"Dude….cat fight…." Jem nudged Dandy as they both kept staring.

"GET THE MUD PIT!" Qrow yelled out from another room.

"As much as ahm interested in seeing this Jerry..ah think we best stop them before the room becomes totally trashed..." Dandy stated before his eyes widened upon seeing the girls pull out there weapons from no where. Quickly running to their respective girlfriends. Dandy held Neon back by her arms as she tried to get loose to attack Winter.

Who was currently being held back by Jem by her waist, since he wasn't tall enough to pick her up.

"Girls, Girls CALM DOWN! This is soooo NOT groovy right here! Ya'll can have your own competition after! But for now let's focus on the competition we have goin now yah hear?!" Dandy pleased hoping this would knock some sense in their dance partners.

"Oh dear, seems you already used all the water, I shall be back with another pitcher!" Klein said as he grabbed the tray and left the room.

"Alright."

'I'll show her who has the better boy friend' Neon thought as she held her glare at the white haired bitch. Quickly turning around after Dandy let her go, Neon instantly pulled him down and slammed her lips against his surprising the groovy lion with wide eyes, though he did happily oblige and kiss back.

The kiss lasted for five seconds before Neon broke it. Her eyes looking towards Winter with a mischievous smirk on her face.

"T-that was g-groovy Neon b-but um..why the sudden kiss? Not that ah didn't mind heheh"

Turning back to Dandy she gave him an innocent smile.

"Wellll, think of it as a good luck charm for me and you when we start dancing, that sound good to you my TALL, funky lion~" Neon said that word A bit louder then the other words as she nuzzled her face against Dandys bare chest. Jeremiah didn't understand what was going on, But Winter sure did.

"O-oh! Well then, that is definitely Grooovy to hear my Speeding Rainbow~! As for the song." He said as he looked towards Jeremiah.

"I have the perfect song in mind that my old folks sung together and composed with the help of our teams for the wedding anniversary! I'm sure you'll fine it amazing Jerry!" He said as he got the song ready.

"Jem…" Winter said as she looked at him.

"Yeah Winny, wahts up-" Suddenly she tackled him to the ground in a breath taking kiss.

She gave a mischevious wink at Neon who was now turning red in the face, Winter draped her leg over Jeremiah as she pressed her chest against his as they laid on the ground. Deepening the kiss and adding a little tongue, pinning him down almost as if he was prey that she was not going to let escape.

"W-W-Woaaaahhhh, I don't think you have ever been that aggressive in your kissing." He said as he was impressed.

"Well, I figured we could use a good luck charm against Dandy and the walking bag of skittles over there." She said with a smirk as she gave a look to Neon that said 'Kiss my ass.'

"Hey! Why can't I watch!" Nala said as Blake was covering her eyes.

Obviously she didn't want Nala to see her parents practically groping each other on the floor of the Schnee Ballroom.

"Uhm, sounds good to me…" Jeremiah got up and walked over to Dandy.

"Uh dude, are they acting strange or something?" Jem asked as they seemed awfully hostile to each other…and kind of horny…

"Ah..." Neon quickly skated over to Winter and got in her face, her aura blazing the color of the rainbow, it was like a weird gay pride light show as she glared at Winter.

"I DONT KNOW WHAT SKITTLES ARE BUT FOR SOME REASON I FIND IT OFFENSIVE! YOU WANNA GO YAH ICE BITCH, BRING IT ON!" It was then they butted heads once more both Aura's flaring at this point

Dandy just began to sweat drop at this point.

"Ah believe sooo...Jerry ah'm gonna warn you..I hope you have a ton of stamina..cause if things are going the way I think they are going...you're gonna need it.." Dandy said as they quickly went over once more to bring them apart from one another before the situation escalates further.

"I don't know if I should be worried or excited based on what he said..." Jeremiah said as he pulled Winter away from Neon.

"Come on Winter, almost time for the dance." Suddenly he felt himself being dragged by his arm.

"OW!" He said as Winter seemed determined to dance.

"I'll show that walking pride flag whose boss." She said as Jem had no idea what the heck had gotten into those two.

He looked over to see that Dandy was in a very similar situation, except it was funny to see Neon dragging around a big guy like Dandy. He set up his scroll on the speaker next to Jems as he finally heard the song they were supposed to dance to.

" There's nothing more, that I'd like to doooo, then take the floor and dance with you~ Keep dancing, let's keep dancing~~~!

As the song started the disco ball started lighting up the dance room even brighter than the last song! As the song gave off the first beats, and before it started the main lyrics of the song Dandy turned his attention toward everyone watching this.

"If any of y'all can wanna join in on this dance, y'all are more than welcome to do so! Especially if we got couples in this crowd~!" Dandy gleefully stated as this seemed to be going out towards team JNPR which they were made up of couples.

"Oh oh ooh! Can we Renny can we?!" Nora asked jumping up and down as the song did sound quite nice!

Ren looking towards Jeremiah and back to Nora responded "Only if Jeremiah allows it, it is suppose to be a tentest between him and Dandy after all..~"

"Why not? I'd feel less awkward." Jeremiah said as he turned to Winter.

"Whats with the weird look on your face?" She asked as he shook his head.

"Never thought I would be dancing to a song from Priscilla, Queen of the desert." He said as he only knew about it from that episode of the Drew Carey show.

"Well,we're here now, might as well enjoy it." Winter said as they got close.

"Uh, one problem…how the heck do we dance to this one?" He asked as she pulled out a bottle.

"Remember how your personality changes with booze?" She asked as he nodded looking over at Jaune and Pyrrha who were dancing like Gods.

"What does that have to do with-" Suddenly he felt a bottle shoved in his mouth.

"UGH!" He said as he took it to the head.

"Did..Did you just force strawberry daiquiri down my throat?" He asked as he finished the bottle.

"I find that when you have fruity drinks, you tend to be a little more…." She was having trouble finding the right word.

"Flamboyant?" He asked.

"That's the one." Suddenly they heard a voice.

"So what happens when you drink a 'Sex on the beach?!" Jeremiah facepalmed as he yelled at the balcony.

"DAD!" He yelled as Qrow was currently laughing with a woman hanging onto him.

"Well see you kid! I have my own party to get to! Maybe make you a new sibling!" Qrow said drunkenly as everyone, even Dandy yelled at him.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

"Well then, when you two are ready-" Dandy said while he was watching Jaune and Pyrrha dance. In his mind he was noting to challenge Jaune to a dance off when he had time.

"Just follow up on our dance Jeremiah! You ready Neon~!"

Giving Winter one last glare and challenging look she turned back to Dandy with a smile on her face, she'll show that Ice Bimbo who has the skill around here!

"More than anything Dandy! Lets get our Funky Groove on~!" Grabbing onto Dandys hands, the two began dancing in a complete synchronized dance that…wait a second, Jem recognized that, it may have been from something a long time ago, but…weren't they dancing like Marpole and Goofy from an Extremelly goofy movie? It had been a long time since he had seen it, but he recognized that dance…wow, this whole competition was turning into different movie and tv references.

"Well…better get to this." Jeremiah said as the music wasn't fitting, but he figured he could work with this.

"Let me take the lead this time." Winter said as he was confused.

"What do you me-" Suddenly he felt himself being lead like he was a puppet.

Winter was moving her hips and legs almost if they weren't attached, some of the movements she did required a lot of flexibility, and after she had filled Jem up with tons of Strawberry Daiquiri, he was more likely to flow with her.

"WOAH!" Suddenly they both found themselves doing flips and shits. I don't mean like shitty half ass flips.

Winter was full on leading him through some Capoeira type shit, that was some good stuff!

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!" Jem said as he jumped in the air, with his head facing toward the ground and was spinning in the air.

"CRAP!" He saw that he was about to hit the ground.

"Got you!" Winter said as she grabbed his upper body and swung him around and was now laying on the floor with him resting his head on her leg.

"Woah…lets do that again!" He suddenly got very excited.

"You gonna take the lead this time?" She asked as he nodded.

"Trust me…" He said as he got a grin on his face.

Seeing this, Neon couldn't believe her eyes, she couldn't let her win! Dandy on the other hand couldn't believe it either, yet this got him even more pumped!

"GROOVY YOU TWO! But we aren't going down that easy! Neon as Soul always says when he's pumped, lets AMP IT UP AH NOTCH!" Neon quickly nodded and the two quickly began to on the tip of their footware before coming to a sudden stop, both pointing to the disco ball above, as if this was a command, Dandys weapon began shining its light sources towards the two as if acting like a spot light! Then things got amped up when Neon and Dandy seperated and took crouching positions.

Neon took a running start and the next thing Jem and Winter knew, she was sliding on her knees, once again like Peter Townsend. Jem cringed as he could have sworn that the friction burns would have to hurt, but Neon seemed to be just fine. She was sliding right towards Dandy who jumped up in the air and did a split kick as she slid on through.

Afterwards she did a kickflip onto her feet as Dandy in turn, turned around and slid on his knees. Now, the height difference should have been enough that he would have slid right into her stomach. But then he leaned so far back, you would have thought he was doing limbo. And he slid right underneath her legs.

Also while getting a peek and giving the camera a wink.

"Winter, I got an idea…" Jem said as he grabbed her by the waist.

"What is it?" She asked as he got a look.

"You ever see blades of glory?" He asked as she nodded.

"That Will Ferrel movie that was on that night at the hotel?" She asked as she was referring to the last time she was on earth.

"Yeah." He said as he tossed her in the air with a surprising amount of strength.

"JEEEEMMM!" She yelled as she was not expecting that.

Jem jumped up in the air, his feet heading towards Winter, he twirled his body around, narrowly missing her neck. He then grabbed her by the waist as they were falling down…he fell to his knee as he spun around, supporting Winter's neck and back with his hands.

"…That wasn't funny…" She said as that was kind of scary.

"But it looked cool!"

And indeed it was cool because as soon as Jeremiah said that everyone around them cheered! Even Dandy was clapping the loudest because that was not only the newest dance move but also seemed to be the most complex movements he had ever seen!

Neon on the other hand was gawking at the display, there was no way they could top that! They could try, but knowing how Dandy is, he would most likely declare them the winner because of that new move! Sure she wouldn't normally mind losing, but Winter pissed her the hell off earlier! She had to do something quick to get back at winter even if they were going to lose! That is when she saw Klein set down a new bowl of water on the table. This gave her an idea.

"Hey um, Dandy I'm going to get some water really quick! Think we can do one more move together~?"

Dandy turning to Neon smiled softly "All right Neon! Though ah believe Jeremiah has won again~ So ah guess we can do one more after you get back!"

Neon nodded and quickly skated over to the water bowl, quickly moving the plate the water bowl was on towards the very edge of the table without Klein noticing. If someone where to hit that plate, it would fling the water bowl right to the direction Winter was at.

"Hehehe, I hope she likes her water cold~" She gleefully stated quietly before skating back towards to Dandy who was in the middle of signing an autograph for Ruby.

"Here you are little red~! Ah hope you like the future songs me and my team plan on making~ Heck ah might even send you a copy of our next album before it releases if yah like~!" Dandy stated with a smile on his face. The reaction from Ruby was truly special!

"Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Ruby proceeded to hug the tall lion as she skipped over to her Team.

"I'm surprised you could dance Pyrrha, I know you just got out of that wheelchair, but you think you would take it easy." Yang said as Pyrrha nodded.

"Hence why Jaune and I were only doing simple dance moves, going a little too crazy may be a bit hazardous to my healthy and recovery." She said as Dandy walked over to the table.

Only to see that the lion had accidentally tripped on one of Jem's boots which he had taken off earlier, and he reached out to grab something to steady himself. Unforturnately all he managed to do was hit the silver tray.

"OH NO!" He yelled as he saw the pitcher of water go flying.

"WINTER! LOOK OUT!" Jem said as he tried to stop it.

"Huh?" She asked as she turned at the last second, but it was too late.

SPLASH!..Drip..Drip..Drip

Yep, it was too late, because now instead of the water bowl flying in the air, it now stood rested on top of winters head, her clothes completely soaked with ice cold water, and to make matters worse she was wearing nothing but white making the shirt she was wearing completely see through...it only got worse to show that she was wearing a bra which every male including Dandy blushed at, before they turned away from the sight, after all, they were all already seeing someone, and as the saying goes, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Neon at this point was laughing hysterically while clutching her stomach and pointing her finger at Winter "Ahahahaha! Oh, Oh oum! This is too good! Ahahhaaaha!"

Winter was embrassed as she took the bowl off of her head and looked around for anything to cover herself up. Jeremiah thinking quickly gave her his leather jacket. And then, he turned to look at Dandy with a glare.

"Now Jeremiah! Ah swear that was not my int-" He was cut off as the song they were dancing to changed to a new song on Jem's Scroll.

 _With karate I'll kick your ass!_

The music was playing as Jem started doing weird fighting poses. Dandy had no idea who sang this song, but one thing was for sure, he was not expecting this.

 _Here to Tianmen Square! Oh yeah Motherfucker! I'm gonna kick you fucking derrier yeah yeaaahhhhh!_

Jem was almost singing along to it as Dandy prepared for the fight that was to come.

"Well…fighting was going to be a part of the competition anyways.." Jaune said as he knew this should be interesting.

Jem was pissed, and when Jem was pissed, he could fight.

 _You broke the rules! Now I'll pull out your pubic haaaaaiiiiiir!  
_

"WHAT?!" That was a little uncomfortable to hear.

"YA!" Jem whipped out his Tomahawk and knife and charged.

Dandy summoned his cane back to defend himself…great, they were going to fight eventually, but he wasn't expecting this. Meanwhile Winter was looking over at Neon with a suspicious look.

"JEREMIAH WAIT!" Winter shouted causing him to stop right before he clashed his weapon against Dandy.

"I think I know who is really at fault here.." Neon eyes widened at this, and before she could skate her way out of this one she felt two giant hands wrap onto her arms, looking up she saw a white glowing Beowulf alpha holding her in place. This is when she began to sweat when Winter began stomping over.

"You did this! Didn't you?!" Neon was looking nervous as she began looking towards Dandy for help only to feel her world shatter when she saw Dandy having with his arms crossed with a displeased look on his usually joyful/understanding face.

"Neon, did you or did you not do this? Ah need the truth from you my rainbow.." Dandy said as his eyes shown that he was quite hurt Neon would do this. Sure he couldn't stay mad at her, but she needed to be punished when her pranks go too far.

"I-I...YES OKAY I DID IT ONLY BECAUSE-*RIIIIIP RIIP*" Blinking a couple of times feeling a sudden draft she looks down to see that her clothing was ripped off by the Alpha only leaving her in her underwear "KYAAAAAAAAA!" Screaming like a typical frightened anime girl she began covering herself as she blushed from embarrassment and anger "YOU BI-*SPLASH*"

Before she could finish that sentence she felt her entire body get drenched in Water from an extra bowl that Klein had brought in once more only for winter to grab it and pour it on Neon, whose nipples were now poking through the rainbow bra, as well as her panties, which due to the tight material and cold water not only revealed a camel toe, but also made it so she looked like a stripper with rain water dripping down her body.

This instantly made all the men look away for two reason because they didn't want to face the wrath from their own women but also from Dandy who had a dark gleam in his eyes towards anyone who stared too long...which was about 4-5 seconds in this case. Jeremiah was excused because he was gawking at what Winter just did.

Well, and the fact that she didn't even realized that she dropped his jacket, which left her visible to the world, which meant he saw her perky breasts all the way down to her toned stomach, and now that he realized it, the white pants she was wearing were starting to get wetter with, NO BAD JEREMIAH!

"Now then...now that we are both wet I think it's only fair that we can now proceed to tear each other's hairs out." Winter said calmly with closed eyes and what appeared to be a satisfied smirk on her face.

Neon getting out of her shock, felt internal rage come out of her system "YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!" She then lunged forward tackling Winter to the ground initiating the start of a very wet catfight.

"….." Jeremiah had nothing to say as he saw them start to wrestle on the ground.

"….." Dandy was just watching as THIS must be one of those legenday cat fights he had heard about.

"Weren't we supposed to be fighting?" Jem asked Dandy.

"What fight?" He asked in a daze.

"Well, we do still have to have the fight, and the singing match." Jem reminded him.

"Hm? Oh, oh yeah…..how about we let them finish first?" Dandy suggested.

"Fair enough, but lets step in if things get crazy." Jem reminded him.

"Deal." He said as they just watched on.

"Wait, what happened to their weapons?" Dandy asked as Jem grinned and held them up.

"I took them before they could grab them." He said as Dandy high fived him.

"NICE!"

"YOU PERVERTS!" Weiss yelled as she couldn't believe this was happening.

Her sister was an honorable warrior in her own right, and now she was currently wrestling on the ground with Neon, she swore to god, if there was a mud pit, this would be a dream come true for a bunch of perverts.


	82. Battle of the Boobs OOC warning

**So I'll be honest, the cat fight is a bit out of character, anyways, again, MPD helped with this, we've been writing in RP format, so its a little different from my usual writing style. Anyways, pretty soon the Dandy arc will be coming to an end, and I'll be back to working by myself with maybe a future cameo/collab with MPD, we'll just have to wait and see.**

 **But eh, we broke the barriers of reality, I mean, Winter wouldn't actually get into a cat fight...right?**

 **...Hmm, it would certainly be interesting.**

 **Anyways, the Dandy Arc did seem random, and well it was, I did not originally plan for it to be included, but I did it for MPD so he could get some writing practice in, and because, eh what the heck, this story is pretty much a crack fic anyways.**

 **Anyways, we got one more chapter of the Dandy arc, and then its back to our regular schedule. Back to the regular Out of Place you all know and love.**

* * *

"AAGGHH!" Winter yelled as she dragged Neon back to her and mounted her trying to rain bombs on her.

"Dandy….I totally forgive you for that water accident." He said as Dandy stared in a daze.

"I'm starting to think your dad had a point when he said we should get a mud pit." They both couldn't help but get a slight nose bleed as they watched the sight in front of them.

Granted, occasionally a punch or a kick was thrown, but for the most part this was a 'Bitch, my man ain't yo baby's daddy.' Kind of fight. Jeremiah didn't think Winter had it in her.

"I'm surrounded by perverts….." Weiss said as she still couldn't believe her sister was doing this.

"SAY IT!" Winter currently had Neon pinned to the ground.

Her breasts pushing into Neon's back as Neon's were getting pushed into the ground, grunting as she felt herself being forced into the floor of the ballroom, she refused to give in, so she struggled against Winter, unknowingly giving both Dandy and Jem a show as with every struggle, she caused both sets of breasts to jiggle slightly.

"NEVER!" She said as she managed to flip over and they started rolling around on the ground.

"Sooo….I had no idea that Winter was a fan of Cotton candy pink and blue…." Jem said as he took a look at the pair of panties he saw through Winter's now see through pants.

"I figured Neon would be wearing rainbows…" Dandy already figured that was going to happen.

RIIIIIPPPPP

Suddenly Jem's nosebleed got even worse when he saw that somehow Neon had used her tail to Rip Winter's pants off of her, leaving them both in nothing but their underwear.

"Holy shit…" He said as he put a neckerchief to his face.

"Dude, you've had sex before, why does this get to you? It's nothing you haven't seen before." Dandy said even though his nose was bleeding.

"Oh like you can say you're any different! Look, its like this, a lap dance may not be like sex, and just because you've had sex doesn't mean you won't enjoy a lap dance." That was the god honest truth.

I mean hell, lets say you had sex once, yeah its going to feel good. But would you really be bored if your girlfriend or boyfriend offered to give you a lap dance? No! You wouldn't be! Because it can be a turn on.

And come on, a Wet t shirt contest combined with a cat fight, which also turned out to be something that was like the lingerie bowl, of course they were going to get nose bleeds.

"Where did Nala go?" Dandy said as he saw that Blake had Nala in the corner.

"Why am I over here?" She asked as Weiss was looking at Nala.

"Just keep working on your mathematics!" She said as Nala groaned.

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh, but I want to watch Mommy fight!" Nala said as Dandy chuckled.

"No little sunflower…you do not…" Dandy had to admit, it was nice Nala was getting some tutoring in.

"When do you think it will end?" Winter and Neon's breasts were now smooshing together as one was trying to pin the other.

"I don't know…I'm hoping never…" Dandy said as Jem rolled his eyes.

"You know, we really should get to our fight…" He said as Dandy sighed.

"Yes, yes we should." He got out his cane.

"Wait! They're getting tired!" Jem said as both were breathing heavily and were running out of energy.

"Who will win?" Dandy said as he was rooting for his girl.

"Come on Winny! Beat Nyan Cat!" That got Dandy confused.

"Huh? But Her name is Neon Katt?" Jem just waved him off.

"Sorry, thinking of a meme from back home."

"The hell is ah meme?" Dandy asked as he had no idea what he was talking about.

Back with the girls, both were breathing heavily at this point, as they stood in nothing but their underwater...if you could call it that considering how badly torn up they were. Winters bra looked to be hanging by a thread at this point and if one more tackle occurred it would rip right off. Neons panties were no different seeing how it looked to be more of a wedgie type of look. Sure it still covered her front, but it showed a lot more butt at this point as her tail was slowly wagging back and forth.

"Admit it already!" Winter shouted as she slowly began walking towards her since they were in a stand off.

"Never! I'll never admit that your boyfriend is better! Not even for all the lien you have to offer! You can shove it up your fathers aaa for all I care!" She shot back walking towards winter with a weak step towards her.

With each step Winters boobs bounced while Neons butt jiggled. They were definitely giving their boyfriends a show with all that had happened so far. Once the two got close they continued to stare at one another for the longest of times. Until finally it was Winter who broke the silence.

"Look...how about this..why don't we bother agree that both of the men we love are both the greatest boyfriends a girl could ever ask for? I bet Dandy has done a lot of things for you in the past that made you truly happy.." Winter started off, her chest heaving up and down careful not to break the remainder of her bra.

Neon closing her eyes sighed before looking back up at Winter with a small smile.

"Yes...yes he did, you don't know how bad it was for me before I met Dandy..not only did we face discrimination at times, but the one thing that made me fall for him… was that no matter how much hate he got, he always had that smile on that face and blew it off like it was nothing. That and he always knew what to do to cheer people up and make them happy, including me~..I guess I can say that Jerry did the same for you,..didn't he?"

With this Winter slowly nodded returning the smile back.

"Look, How about this, see how I know we are both still thinking it deep down, Why not we have our OWN competition after the boys? That way we can see who really has the best boyfriend? Because if we continue to fight, we will both be the losers while our boyfriends…" Both of them turning to said boyfriends in question, only to see the two whistling innocently while looking away from the two.

"Are the winners from the fight we just had. Deal?" Winter stated hinting at their underwear situation. She held out her hand, hoping Neon would take it.

Neon, placing a hand under her chin began to think before finally giving a firm nod before placing her hand into Winters. It would have been a normal hand shake if it wasn't for Neon suddenly pulling Winter close interlocking her lips with Winters. Catching her completely off guard, their breasts smothering against each other, causing everyone's jaw to drop.. Even if it lasted for 4 seconds it was enough to make both Dandy AND Jeremiah fall backwards from a incredible spray of blood that shot out of their noses.

Neon breaking the kiss, gave Winter a smirk and a teasing wink before saying "Deal~! Now then...got any extra clothes I could use?" Neon asked as Neons face began to resemble the same shade of red Winters had from the sudden kiss.

"I-I'm straight…." She wanted to clarify that.

At this both Neon AND Jeremiah yelled out.

"SO IS SPAGHETTI UNTIL IT GETS WET!"

Winter blushed scarlet as she realized what happened, she wasn't into women, but damn, what kind of woman made a deal with a KISS?! She got Klein to get them a few towels and some clothes. Needless to say, he didn't want to know what had just occurred.

"I think you broke them…" Winter said as she noticed Dandy and Jem now had tissues in their noses that were getting redder and redder as time went by.

"Nya, if they were going to watch us anyways, may as well give them a show!" Neon said with a mischevious grin as Jem came over and hugged Winter.

"Should I be worried?" He asked as he hugged Winter.

"Naaahh, That's just how Neon is!" Dandy was hugging his girlfriend at the same time.

"You know I'm not into….women…" Winter said with a blush.

"It's totally okay with me if you are! I mean I'm not completely straight either, totally fine with me!" He teased as she smacked his shoulder lightly.

"Idiot…" She said as he nuzzled her closer.

"You love me!" He teased as she smirked.

"Do I Know that?" She teased right back at him.

"Well you do tend to know everything."

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

"Then how did I end up dating you?"

"You got stabbed by a homeless guy, remember?"

"Oh yeah, funny how I forgot that."

Dandy started letting out a light chuckle, he found that those two made the perfect couple, he could tell when things were gonna work out between people and they were definitely gonna work out in life.

"Now then~" Letting go of Neon he picked up his cane that he had dropped earlier back when he was focusing on trying not to bleed to death through his nose. He picked it back up, and Jem and Winter noticed there was a sizeable hole in the floor from the disco ball. Jesus, how heavy was that thing?

"Now that the conflict between you two is done for right now, how about we all head out somewhere so Jeremiah and I can fight! By chance do you have someplace in mind Snow flake?" Dandy asking the last part towards Weiss who was currently still with Blake and Nala in the corner.

"It depends...how bad of a mess do you think you two perverts are gonna make?" Weiss asked still a bit irritated from what just happened in the fight, and Dandy calling her snowflake. That and she couldn't help but blush when she saw Neon and Winter kiss.

"Hmm Jeremiah how destructive is your weapon?" Dandy asked looking back towards him.

"Well, an explosion was what transported me here to this world in the first place…" He suddenly put his hands over his mouth as he realized he shouldn't have said that.

"Er, I mean, uh, well, I have regular bullets which do the same amount of damage as regular bullets, the fire dust rounds cause an explosion, lightning rounds would be lightning bolts, and of course, the tomahawk and bowie knife forms are deadly little blades, and of course the colt form is pretty much a handcannon. So yeah it will do some damage, but nothing too overblown." He said as he hoped Dandy didn't catch the 'I'm an alien' bit.

"Daddy! Can I watch the fight?" Nala asked as Jem was a little unsure.

He wasn't sure if he wanted his daughter to watch the fight between him and Dandy, that might not work out too well.

"Eh, I don't know…" He said as Dandy chuckled.

"It's alright, its not like we're trying to kill each other, this is just a spar to see if you can defend her." He suddenly whispered in Jem's ears.

"I saw that footage of you….I know what you're capable of….but those were just white fang grunts…how will you do against a real opponent?" Dandy asked as Jem felt a little nervous but steeled himself.

"Lets find out." He said as he was suddenly glad that Dandy didn't bring up the 'Other world' comment.

"Wait, what do you mean by other world?" Neon asked….Damn it Neon.

"Hmm..now that Neon mentions it, what is this other world y'all talked about Jeremiah?" Dandy asked as he was now curious. Everyone who knew what they meant began to sweat except Nala who was still a little confused despite knowing the truth, as well as Klein, Dandy, and Neon considering that they were confused as to why he seemed so panicked.

Winter being the first to react quickly grabbed Jeremiahs arm. "Um excuse us for just one second?" She said before speeding off to the other side of the room.

"Should we tell them? I mean..we can trust them right? Plus sooner or later Nala is bound to meet your parents when this entire situation is over." Winter answered in a hushed whisper. They weren't sure how Dandy and Neon might react upon hearing the truth.

"I mean…I suppose we could, I don't think they would try to turn me in to the gestapo guys…" He let out a sigh as he had to decide what to do.

He knew Neon and Dandy wouldn't turn him into the Gestapo guys, mostly because they had tried to arrest him, and they slapped Nala, so that was definitely not a group they were going to contact to inform him of the visitor who was not from this world.

" _Should I? Shouldn't I?"_ He thought to himself as he was debating it in his mind.

Finally he just decided to screw it and just let it out.

"Okay, well, there is no other way of saying this…..I'm an Alien."

Dandy just stared at Jeremiah, blinking a couple of times before he replied with a simple "So?" The resulting reaction was not unexpected.

"WHAT?!" Everyone including Neon and Nala screamed as they couldn't believe he was so casual about this.

"Dandy how can you just say 'So?!' Jeremiah just got through saying he's an alien! Aren't you a little bit freaked out by this?" Neon questioned her boyfriend's sanity. After all, Jem may be a nice guy, but aliens are scary!

It was then Dandy took a long deep breath through his nose, eyes closed before opening them and turning to Neon with a soft smile.

"Well maybe a tiny bit though ah had a feeling when it came to his dance moves and music Neon..not to mention this Meme thing ah heard him talk about. But so what? Alien or not as long as he keeps Nala happy...then Ah'm glad! Plus he looks just like everyone else here on Remnant Neon, ah couldn't tell the difference even if we never properly met ah wouldn't have noticed the difference! Hell even if he was some Grimm hybrid, as long as he didn't kill any innocent people and had a soul to feel what we feel, ah wouldn't mind either! Don't you remember what me and mah team is aiming for Neon?"

It was then Neon softly nodded feeling a bit embarrassed the way she acted just now.

"We are trying to make Remnant a better place Neon, for better equality for all! This...is tha first step towards that goal! And ah couldn't have asked for better adoptive parents for Nala herself." Turning he gave Jeremiah a smile of approval.

"Now then...now that all of that is done, should we head over to the place we are supposed to fight in?..Ah would recommend a mini colosseum if y'all happen to have one, since my weapon does tend to be...quite destructive.." Dandy said as he patted his weapon.

"We have a training arena suitable for that." Winter said as this house had everything.

"Wow….that was a lot easier than I though it would be." Jem said as he wasn't expecting that.

"Er, you're not going to…probe us are you?" Neon still wasn't sure what to think of this.

"No…Noooo…of course not…" Suddenly he got very close to Neon and Dandy as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Unless you want me to." He said with a suggestive wink as Neon blushed and looked away.

"HA!" Yang laughed as the tables for flirting and teasing had been turned on Neon.

"Oh shut up you!" Neon was yelling at Yang who was currently pulling her eyelid down and sticking out her tongue.

"While that does sound interesting mah friend, ah mostly don't swing that way. But if mah Neon wants to try something like that, then who am I to deny? As long as it makes mah rainbow happy ah'll do it!" Dandy stated as Winter began pulling Jeremiah back her face beat red from what Jeremiah just suggested!

"MINE!" She said as she made sure to stake her claim on him.

Dandy just laughed as he turned to Weiss.

"Now then, could you lead us to your arena Snowflake?" Dandy asked politely.

"Would you stop calling me that?!" Dandy placed a hand on his chin thinking for a couple of seconds before giving his answer.

"NoPe." He said while popping the P.

This made Weiss face palm with an irritated sigh. She deserved this didn't she?

"J-just...follow me I think I know of an area you could use." Weiss then began leading the group to said area they were suppose to fight at.

"I thought you were a one woman kind of guy?" Winter asked as Jem grinned.

"Oh I am, trust me I would never cheat on you, but you got to admit….Dandy and Neon, they're pretty cute." He said with a wink as Winter rolled her eyes.

"You can look but you can't touch." She said as sometimes it was a little weird when your boyfriend went both ways.

She knew Jem would never cheat, and neither would she. But it's a little weird when you discuss cute women and men with your boyfriend.

"Trust me honey I know." He said as he leaned his head on her shoulder.

"Although…..Neon was kind of giving a hint there with that kiss she gave you." He said as he got between Dandy and Neon again.

"Hmm, makes you wonder just how…CURIOUS she is…" He said as Neon was blushing bright red.

"That was one time! And I didn't know she was going to do it!" Winter blushed as she remembered the kiss.

"Come now Jeremiah, if yah keep teasing Neon, all that blood in her head is gonna make her dizzy." With this Neon turned to Dandy, still having a blush on her face

"Thank You Da-"

"Although I must say, her tail at times is for more than just show~ ah'm sure Winter wouldn't mind seeing for herself~" Dandy teased towards Neon and Winter whose faces were now a deep shade of red before Neon skated over and began pounding her hands lightly onto Dandys chest.

"DANDYYYY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT!" She shouted as her face was practically about to explod with how red it got.

"Hahaha ah'm just teasing Neon~ though if yah do want to spend quality time with Winter while Jerry and I are fighting, by all means go right ahead, though you'd need Jeremiahs permission after all~" Dandy couldn't help but tease her one more time, but it was worth seeing Neons face blush red after all.

"Okay, that's enough, I think we've teased them enough, although…" He leaned over to Neon.

"I may be a big tease, but we really are faithful to one another, so please no quality time that leads to anything lewd…" He decided to walk with Dandy for a bit.

"AlThOuGh." Suddenly he got a scary voice as he looked at Neon with a scary look on his face.

"If I fInD out, that you DiD someThing to her, without my permission….you will….." He let out a dark chuckle.

"Meet with a terrible fate." At this Neon could swear that she saw the image of a man with a creepy look on his face with a backpack full of masks as a strange song played in reverse in the background.

It was at this moment, Neon knew, she fucked up.

"KYAAAAAAAA!" Zooming past the two, she high tailed it out of there and straight toward the area they were suppose to fight in.

Dandy blinked a couple times and then let out a low chuckle.

"Well then...as much as I find that amusing Jerry..yah do know Ah'm gonna have to get you back for scaring Neon..right?" Dandy stated as he walked on ahead to try and calm Neon down in case she was still shivering in fear even if it was just a harmless prank.

Winter on the other hand walked over to Jeremiah and smacked him upside the head.

"Really? Ben Drowned? As much as I find it funny that you scared Neon, I hope you didn't scar her for life." She finished as Jem scratched the back of his head.

"Relax she's fine, it was just a prank." He said as Winter walked on ahead.

"…" Jem went silent for a bit as he walked the others.

And then his eyes changed yellow for a bit as he got a sick grin on his face.

"You shouldn't have done that….."

 **Back to reality**

"Hm? Oh yeah, but hey, she's a tough girl, I'm more worried about what Dandy considers as 'getting even'." Jem said as Winter rolled her eyes.

"You're an idiot."


	83. The French Mistake

**Okay so here we go, this should be the last chapter with Dandy in it for awhile, anyways, now its back to my regular plan, anyways thanks to MPD for helping me with this. And maybe we'll work together again in the future.**

 **Anyways, There was a reason Winter was acting OOC in the last chapter, don't worry all will be explained.**

 **Without further delay, here is the next chapter.**

* * *

"Well, here we go." Jem said as he had his tomahawk and Knife out.

"Ready?" Winter said as she was in a new uniform as she had an air of dignity around her.

Now was the time for her to get back into her serious persona. Especially after that weird escapade with Neon. She didn't know why she acted like that; maybe it was just the atmosphere that made her lose herself. She didn't know. But now, she was back in business as she was standing making sure each side was ready to fight.

Honestly, this whole chain of events with Dandy seemed like it came out of nowhere, maybe this was Oum's way of messing with them?

Upon entering the room, they were greeted with two corridors with a window in between showing the arena inself. One of the hallways lead to the stands, while the other lead to the arena. Dandy had his cane out, leaning against it like he did before when explaining the rules.

"Hey Jeremiah, I'm afraid our singing competition will have to be put on hold, we just got a call from our Maestro, apparently there has been a rise in white fang activity that he wants us to investigate. Apparently Atlas has been having a few problems with raids and the like, apparently that red headed bullheaded prick has been upping his attacks ever since he found out I'm back in action." Dandy finished as they only had enough time to fight each other.

"Yeah sure no problem, I haven't sang since Choir in high school anyways, so maybe another time." He said as he checked his weapons.

"I still can't believe you were a choir boy." Winter said as that just didn't seem right.

"Hey, Jesus Music is very prominent where I live, so of course I was a part of the choir." Honestly, if you could sing decently, you had to join the choir, there was no other way around it, otherwise you pissed God off.

Well, maybe they didn't. But that was what his bible thumping principal always said. Geez, Jesus wasn't going to be mad with you if you didn't join the choir.

"WOO HOO! Kick his ass Dandy!" Neon yelled from the stands.

"It's just a test Neon!" He said as Jem was ready to go.

"Ready?" He asked as everyone took their seats.

"Babe…" Winter said as she whispered in his ear.

"Yeah?" He asked hoping she would say something inspirational.

"Be careful." She was trying to remain neutral in this.

"Damn, I was hoping for some sort of inspirational speech." He said as she deadpanned.

"You're going up against a huntsman who is better trained than you, I love you, but he's a little stronger than you." She said as he grinned.

"Guess I'll just have to show you I can hold my own, after all…" He looked up in the stands.

"It's my lucky day." He said as Dandy was ready to fight.

"Now then..." Dandy stated as he began twirling his cane.

"Ah WAS going to give you some advice you could use against me in the fight...but considering what yah did to Neon, ah'm sure you could figure it out on your own~ Now then...LETS GET GROOVEY!"

Charging forward, Dandy leaped high into the air spinning his cane a few more times before gripping it with both hands. In an instant the disco ball on the cane changed from its nomal white to burning red. Upon landing Dandy smashed the ball into the ground causing not only the ground of the arena to shake but also the stands. The ground did not hold well, for as soon as the ball made contact, spider like cracks bursted forward as a torrent of flames spat through the cracks shooting straight towards Jeremiah.

Meanwhile in the stands Nora couldn't help but shout.

"DANDY SMASH!" Which caused everyone to be surprised by the sudden shout.

But who could blame her? Dandys weapon was almost like Nora's hammer only that it weighed a lot more than her hammer, hell she even had trouble lifting it. Was it because of Dandy's prosthetic arm? After all, those Atlesian prosthetic limbs were like having the strength of ten men in one arm.

"Well shit." Jem said as he rolled away from the flames.

"Okay that was pretty bad ass." He looked at his own weapons, he was REALLY starting to wish Ruby had made him a more destructive weapon like a grenade launcher.

"Well, got to make due with what I got." He said as he started to run towards Dandy.

"GAH!" He yelled as he swung his Tomahawk up at Dandy.

Only one problem was he had to aim for his torso and legs, Dandy did tower over him, and he couldn't reach up high enough, that and he couldn't go for any vital areas since this was just a spar. So he had to be careful, didn't mean that he couldn't cause a little pain.

"Well, one thing is for sure, this probably won't hurt as much as my problems with dancing." He said with a smirk as he locked his tomahawk with Dandy's cane.

"Trust me Jeremiah dancing is the least of your problems!" It was then Dandy used Jeremiahs momentum against him by quickly leaning backwards bringing Jeremiah with him, And right when Dandy's back hit the ground, he instantly brought his legs back and instantly kicked both feet into his gut kicking Jeremiah off of him.

Once Jeremiah was off Dandy pressed a button on the hilt which instantly detached the disco ball from the hilt, falling onto the floor with a loud THUNK. It was still connected to the hilt because of the metal wire attached to the hilt.

"Ah recommend you go all out Jeremiah, use bullets if yah have to, we got Aura for ah reason mah friend!"

It was at that moment, Dandy swung his cane and the disco ball went flying straight towards Jeremiah like a giant wrecking ball! Luckily the disco ball was not colored meaning no dust was being used, but it would still hurt like hell if it hit him!

"Well shit." Jem said as he dodged the first blow.

BOOM!

Only to look and see that it had taken out a pillar by itself.

"Son of a bitch…" Now he knew he would be fucked if he got hit by that.

"AWESOME!" Nora yelled from the stands.

"Whose side on you on?!" Jeremiah yelled as she just smiled.

"Kind of have to give it to the big guy here!" Jem rolled his eyes at her response.

At least he knew Winter and his cousins were still on his side, but still, he had a distinct disadvantage here, he couldn't advance forward due to Dandy's cane being a deadly weapon at close range, especially since that Disco ball could be retracted and used as a giant bludegoning tool, so getting in close was out of the question. But at the same time, he could also use it like a giant ball and chain, so even staying at a medium range was out of the question.

"So only one thing to do…." He said as he turned around and pulled a military tactic out of the french playbook.

"RUN AWAY!" He said as everyone looked confused.

"Huh? What just happened?" Dandy said as Winter looked embarassed.

"Ha! He's running a-" Neon was cut off as she saw Jem turn around and shift his Tomahawk and knife into rifle form.

"Ha! Sorry, not running away that easily." He said as he loaded some explosive dust into his rifle.

"What do you-" She was cut off as she saw Dandy shielding himself from what appeared to be shrapnel coming out of the dust rounds.

"Imma gonna go Fourty of july on you!" He said as he continued to fire, loading differen kinds of rounds.

When he wanted a giant explosion, he used fire rounds, when he just wanted to switch it up, he used lightning rounds, because no better thing than a riding a rail of white lightning…wait…that's another name for cocaine…never mind.

Even though the Shrapnel hurt, it would have been worse if it weren't for Dandy if it weren't for his aur, but he had to give Je, credit, seeing how he figured out Dandys one weakness when it came to combat. Either way, that didn't stop Dandy from fighting he did a side roll, then he retracted the disco ball before doing some kind of spin attack, Dandy put both of his hands on his cane, he then slammed his weapon into the ground, the disco ball itself starting to change into a brownish color.

In that moment a rock wall appeared in front of Dandy to act as a temporary shield from the barrage of bullets and shrapnel.

"Ah must give yah credit Jeremiah! Changing tactics to long range attacks was ah smart move on your part! But don't even think that I haven't gone up against long range fighters before!"

With that said, Dandy pressed another button on his cane, rotating the dust cylinder hidden in the shaft, the disco ball changing from brown to green as he prepared for his next attack. He knew he had to act fast before he ran out of cover. He detached the disco ball again and swung it towards Jem. Every time the disco ball was swung, it shot out waves of high powered wind gusts towards Jeremiah, the wind itself was either blowing the shrapnel away or rendering it completley useless, in other words, Jem was in trouble, this only became more prominent as Dandy made his way to Jem's location with every single swing.

Jem needed to think fast.

"Damn…there goes that strategy." He mumbled under his breath as he realized he couldn't fight Dandy at close range.

Dandy was used to close range fighting, and while Jem could fight at short, mid and long range, it would be suicide. He couldn't get close enough to slash at Dandy with his Tomahawk and knife, so close quarters combat was out of the question, Long range wouldn't work as he couldn't spend his entire time running around the arena and shooting at Dandy from a distance, so his best choice was to go midrange and pray to god that Dandy didn't hit him.

He shifted the tomahawk in his right hand into its revolver form. He checked the chambers as he saw they were loaded with fire dust. He smirked; good that was what he would need to fight Dandy. Gritting his teeth, he started running forward.

"Avoid the disco ball…avoid the disco ball." He said as he ducked under a swing, however he also had to drop to the ground to avoid the gusts of wind blowing over his head.

"Now." He said to himself as he timed the gusts of wind.

The thing about Dandy's cane/wrecking ball weapon was that it still required a lot of time to recover from the recoil, which gave Jem an oppurtunity.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

He let out five dust rounds, the first three making their way towards Dandy himself, the problem was that he saw that coming. So he did a barrel roll to avoi them.

And that was part of Jem's plan. He took aim and waited until Dandy was reaching the end of his manuever.

"Got you…" He said as he fired off a round, this time it was heading for Dandy's hand.

It wasn't a flame dust round, the sixth bullet he put in was a lightning dust round, he didn't want to damage Dandy's hand too much since he had a mission afterwards, but the fun thing about Lightning was the temporary paralysis that could occur if you hit the right nerves in the hand.

How did Jem know this? Well, one drunken night he accidentally slammed a lightning dust bullet with a hammer because he thought it was a fly, couldn't feel his hand for a week.

And as it turned out, he hit the right spot. The bullet hit a spot right on the wrist of Dandys robotic arm, and as LUCK would have it, when the lightning dust took affect on the arm, the electricity began to short circuit the wires and parts, the result was that Dandy's arm was now going haywire and spinning him around like a beyblade. But he still maintained his grip on his cane, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do, as the more pressure he added to the buttons, the more dust that was being activated, and you could see that the disco ball was starting to get an eerie glow to it.

"W-WOAAH! ARM IS GOING NUTS! GET AWAY! RUN AWAY" Dandy yelled as his arm continued to swing around, eventually he looked like a mini tornado.

"...This can't end well." Ren knew something was going to happena and they were not going to like it, but they were still going to watch the fight. Ren felt pressure on his arm as he looked down and noticed that Nora was trying to pull him under cover.

"TAKE COVER!" Nora yelled dragging down her Fearless Leader who happened to be holding onto Pyrrha hand dragging her down as well. As much as Nora wanted to continue watching the fight, she would rather not be smacked by that giant ball Dandy has as a weapon.

"Nora calm down! You don't really believe we didn't think of a possible weapons malfunction before hand did you?" Weiss sighed as she took out her sword and thrusted it forward, only to hit a force field.

Nora blinked at the response, realizing that she had been a little foolish to think that this place wouldn't have the best technology on hand. She calmed down and got back up to watch the fight at hand. No longer worrying for her safety.

Meanwhile back in the arena, Dandy was still having trouble controlling his arm, he was starting to feel sick to his stomach as it felt like he was on some horrible rollercoaster. But luckily, the arm finally stopped, but that led to another problem, his disco ball was launched around the room like a pinball, the wire trailing after it and unforturnately wrapping Dandy up. Jem would have laughed, but then he saw the ball coming towards him. And with god as his witness, he was soon caught in the net like substance protuding from the other end of the disco ball.

The disco ball continued to hurt its way across the room while continuing to wrap the two fighters up.

Finally it stopped, but only when Dandy and Jem were not tied together back to back, kind of like Indiana Jones and his dad in The Last crusade.

"...Well then...ain't we in ah pickle.." Dandy tried to move, but the wire was too fight for them to move.

"Dandy." Jem said as he looked over his right shoulder.

"What?" Dandy asked as he looked over his left.

Irritated Jem looked over his left.

"Dandy!" He still didn't see him.

"What?" Dandy was once again looking over the wrong shoulder.

"DANDY!"

"WHAT?!" Finally they were looking at each other.

"How about we call it a draw?" Jem asked as Dandy nodded along.

"Sure, we got to get going soon anyways." Dandy only had enough time for the fight, it was time to go.

Winter eventually got the two of them untied as Dandy and Jem shook hands.

"Now that I know you can take care of Nala, I am fine with leaving you with her." Dandy smiled as Nala gave him one last hug before he left.

"Just make sure to come and visit sometime, I'm sure Nala would appreciate that." Winter said as Dandy tipped his hat to her.

"Thank yah kindly, or perhaps you could come and visit? After all, I can pay for your travels." He offered as Winter shook her head.

"That won't be necessary, we can pay for our own travel expenses." She finished as she yawned.

"But for now…we need some sleep, all this dancing and fighting has worn me out." She said as she stumbled off to bed.

"Huh, she seems a little odd today." Jem knew something was different about her.

"Well, she's tired, anyways Good luck, and also Jem…." Dandy whispered in his ears.

"PLEASE take care of her…she's the only family I got left…" Dandy's afro deflated a bit.

"What do you mean? We're family now?" He said as Dandy's eyes lit up.

"OH THANK YOU!" And now he was about to regret it.

Because Dandy picked him up in a bone crushing hug.

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" Jem screamed as this was the single most painful thing he had ever felt.

Yes, it hurt more then when he got stabbed or shot with Cinder's arrows.

"Oh thank yah kindly! We'll write every day! Sayonara!" He said as he dropped Jem to the floor as they loaded onto a bullhead.

"Owwww….My baccccckkkk." Nala came over and poked her daddy with a stick.

"Doesn't he give the best hugs?" She asked as Jem groaned.

"Nala…you know how I usually carry you back to your room if you're too tired?" He asked as she nodded.

"Well, its your turn…take me to our room….because I think Dandy just crippled me…" He said as Yang came over and picked him up.

"Don't worry Cuz! I got your back!"

 **THE NEXT DAY**

"BLEH!" Jem woke up to the sound of vomiting.

He didn't have a hangover this time when he woke up, years of drinking had given him a bit of an immunity to hangovers, that and his Aura really did do a lot to prevent a hangover from occuring, so in a way he was living every alcoholics dream right now. And he couldn't be happier.

"Winter?" He asked as he looked over in the bathroom.

Only to see Winter was crouched over the toilet vomiting.

"Oh no….NO!" Jem got a very bad feeling in his stomach.

"Please tell me its not morning sickness!" He said to himself as he walked over to where his girlfriend was.

"It's not morning sickness….I have a hangover you asshole…" She said as she vomited again.

"Wait…you were drinking yesterday?" He didn't remember seeing her drink.

"…..I figured if I drank a little I wouldn't be embarassed when we had to dance…why? What did I do?" Suddenly it all made sense.

No wonder Winter was acting so weird when she got into that lingerie wrestling match with Nala! SHE WAS DRUNK!

"Well….you had a bit of a lesbian experience, but nothing too bad…" He said as she groaned.

"Great..please tell me no one recorded it…" Lord knows the type of views that would get.

"Uhm, just us, Klein, maybe whoever watches the security tapes, forgot about it, come on, we got to wake up my dad." Jem said as he gave Winter an aspirin and some water.

Klein came in with scrambled eggs soon after, which Winter ate at a slow pace, fun fact, Eggs are great for a hangover cure, the proteins and certain vitamins really do help get the brain back into proper function, and as a bonus eggs were delicious.

"Come on Sweetheart, lets go wake up my dad, we got to get to Menagerie after this." He remembered they were going there to inform Blake's dad of the situation and hopefully get his help in the upcoming war.

Her dad seemed like a nice guy, even if he didn't like Sun.

"Dad?" Qrow opened the door as he saw a King sized bed with black sheets.

"Ugh, hey Son, hows it going?" Qrows head and bare chest appeared from the bed.

"Good, you doing alright?" He asked as Qrow grinned.

"Well, I got lucky last night." He said as he flexed his arms.

"Hang on…you wore a condom right?" Jem was a little worried.

"I double wrapped it just to be sure, and she's on the pill." Qrow firmly stated, no way he was going to have another accidental baby.

"In that case, NICE!" Jem walked over to his dad and high fived him.

"While that is nice, I would prefer if you would keep it do-" Winter's voice was cut off as she saw the figure get up.

"Aaaahhhhh, Wow, I haven't been fucked like that in years." The woman said as Jem's eyes went wide.

Qrow didn't know why his son had a horrified look on his face, until he looked back and soon saw what had gotten to his son.

He saw an older woman with white hair, and surprising supple breasts, she may have been a little bit older, but it did nothing to diminish her beauty. In fact, she seemed to age like wine.

"M-M-Mother?" Winter squeaked out as she looked towards her mother.

"Hm? Oh…Winter, sleep well?"


	84. Oooohhhh My

**Okay, so here we go, hopefully back to my normal pace pretty soon, I already have a few chapters planned out. So here we go.**

* * *

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Winter yelled as Jem was laughing in the corner.

"Yes…Yes he is…" He couldn't help but laugh at this whole situation.

"Now hold on there Ice Queen, lets all just cal-" Qrow was cut off as Mrs. Schnee got out of the bed.

"Ooooh, My word, you didn't have to be so rough with the spanking." She said as Winter saw that there was a big red hand print on her mother's ass.

She looked away in disgust for two reasons, one, she just saw her mom's ass, and two, she was reminded that they had sex. WHY?! She knew her dad was a prick and her parents didn't get along, but WHY?!

"Holy shit! I high fived my dad for banging your mom!" Jem couldn't help but laugh as Winter glared at him.

"If you say that again, we're never having sex again!" She threatened as Jem looked at her and then to his right hand.

Yeah, he didn't want to go back to being a chronic masturbator. He spent his entire teenage years doing that, no way he was going back.

"Okay…" But on the inside his thoughts were running wild.

" _DAD FUCKED WINTER'S MOTHER! DAD FUCKED WINTER'S MOTHER!"_ For some reason, he was imagining Channing Tatum yelling that, why was that?

"Ooooohh, you were right, I can barely walk." Mrs. Schnee said as her legs were wobbling a bit from the pounding she received last night.

She had never felt that full before, course, she had only had sex with her husband before, and with his dick it was amazing that she even got pregnant. Then again, he was a one pump chump, so it wasn't hard for him to shoot so fast. Either way, it usually left her feeling unsatisfied, especially since he didn't even have the common decency to at least try and get her off with his tongue.

But QROW….she had experienced pleasures she had only read about in her novels. And she had never felt so SATISFIED in her life. Much better than being stuck with Jacques 'Baby Dick' Schnee, no wonder her husband was so competitive.

"MOTHER!" Winter yelled as she couldn't believe this was happening.

"Now Now Winter, we're both adults, I don't see anything wrong with it…after all…" She turned to look at Jem then.

"I seem to recall this young man yelling out how he had sex with you." She smirked as Jem scratched the back of his head.

"Damn it Jem…" She put her face in her hands in embarrassment.

"Oh Uhm…Sorry Mrs. Schnee…" He said as she waved him off.

"Now now, I am not nearly as prudish as my husband, please call me Willow." She introduced herself as she looked the boy up and down. **(1)**

"Okay…Willow…Uhm…So…." He honestly didn't know what to say.

"I would prefer in the future if you would please keep your bedroom activities with my daughter to yourself, I don't think either one of us wants to know about the others sex life." She was referring to the awkward situation the four of them found themselves in.

"Uhm well, we kind of need to go, I mean, we're supposed to leave for Menagerie today, and well, we need my Dad…" Jem didn't know what to think.

The weird part was that he was dating Winter, and he slept with her, but now his dad had slept with his possible future mother in law, for gods sake, it just felt weird, how do you look the woman in her eyes knowing that your dads dick had probably been inside her?

"Dad, can we go?" Jem said as Qrow nodded.

"Yeah I need to get dr-" Suddenly he was pushed back onto the bed.

"Not yet, you still have fifteen minutes before your ship arrives, and I'm using it." Willow said as she crawled back into the bed.

"MOTHER!" Winter was horrified.

What she didn't realize was that her mother had gone almost twenty to twenty five years with no solid dick or anything from Jacques, so she was enjoying her new found sexual tastes. And Qrow…well, he honestly couldn't complain.

"LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" Jem said as he dragged Winter out.

"GET YOUR FILTHY PENIS OUT OF MY MOTHER!" Winter yelled as she was pulled out of the room by Jem and the door slammed.

"What are you doing?!" She yelled as he was holding her back.

"Just let it happen Winter!" He said as he wasn't getting in the way of that.

"HE'S DEFILING MY MOTHER!"

"SHE'S DEFILING MY FATHER!"

"What is going on?" Jacques Schnee said as they both shut up.

"Oh! Uhm, nothing! Just…enjoying the morning air!" Jem tried to think of a quick excuse.

"Then why are you inside?" He asked as he heard moans.

"What is going on?" Suddenly he heard a voice scream out.

"HOLY HELL!" Qrow yelled as Jacques raised an eyebrow.

"What is going on?" He asked with narrow eyes.

"Uhm, he's praying!" Winter wasn't going to rat her mother out. Even if this felt like the immoral thing to do.

"OH SWEET LORD YES!"

"…..I see…." Jacques was a bit disturbed at how Happy Qrow seemed to be.

"OH RIGHT THERE!" Qrow was yelling in ecstasy.

"Wow! The Holy Spirit has entered him! PRAISE JESUS!" Jeremiah yelled even though nobody in this world knew who Jesus was.

"….Your ship will be here soon, I expect you to be on it." Jacques really didn't like Jeremiah.

Neither him or his father Qrow, although for some reason, he got the feeling he would want to kill Qrow later. He didn't know why. Either way, Jacques walked away as Winter and Jeremiah breathed out a sigh of relief, they could not believe that they just helped their parents bang each other. Wow, it sounded even weirder now that they thought about it.

"Jem…." Winter started as he looked at her.

"Yeah honey?" He asked as she looked serious.

"Let us NEVER speak of this again." She finished as he nodded along.

"Yeah, honestly, lets just wake Nala up and get ready to go." They didn't even notice Team RWBY walking up to the door that Qrow was staying in.

"WAKE UP UNCLE QR-" Ruby screamed as she saw what was in the room.

"MOTHER?!" Weiss screamed out as she noticed her mother riding Qrow like a mechanical bull.

"SHUT THE DOOR!" Qrow yelled as Yang slammed the door shut.

"LET ME AT THAT BASTARD!" Weiss yelled as she pulled out her sword.

"Calm down Weiss!" Winter and Jem were now holding her back.

"Calm down?! He's fornicating with our mother!" She pointed out as she was ready to cut his balls off.

"We know! We saw them earlier! But we can't stop them!" Jem said as she froze.

"What do you mean you saw them earlier?" She growled out as she unleashed an icy glare.

"Look, we went to go wake him up, and they were in bed together, okay? That's all we know! We swear to god, we were just as surprised as you!" He raised his hands in defense.

"Are you okay with this?!" Weiss asked her sister.

"No…I am not." She said as Weiss turned back to the door.

"Then lets do this!" She said making a cutting motion with her sword.

"However…." Winter whispered into her ear.

"It would be better if we stayed out of this. Last thing I want is to have to go back in there." Winter realized she did not want to go back in there when her mother was having sex with a drunken huntsman.

"Hi Daddy! Hi Mommy! Where is Grandpa?!" Nala said as she ran up and hopped on Jem's shoulders.

"Uhm, Grandpa is a little busy Honey, how about we go and wait for the ship?" Winter said as Nala nodded.

"Okay!" She said as they went to the ship to wait.

 **FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER**

Qrow came to the ship with his shirt a little wrinkled and his necklace on the wrong way, his hair was a bit messy as he was working on styling it a bit to his liking. He had a shit eating grin on his face as he was limping a little bit due to the pain in his nuts. Damn, that woman really hadn't had sex for over two decades? No wonder she drank so much wine all the time. Either way, Qrow had some of the best sex in his life, and she even gave him a few hundred lien for cab fare.

That did make Qrow feel like a bit of a man whore. But then again, he could really use the money.

And that was when he got kicked in the nuts.

"THAT'S for sleeping with my mother!" Weiss said as Qrow was coughing.

"Oh god, I think one of my balls went into my throat!" He said in a high pitched tone.

And then Winter walked up to him with an angry look on his face.

"Oh come o-" And then Winter delivered a swift kick in the nuts.

"OOOOOOOOHHHH!" Qrow was praying that didn't crush his nuts.

The guys of Team JNPR and Jem were currently cradling their family jewels, or in Jem's case, Jewel. Honestly, they were glad that Weiss didn't go through with her original plan of castrating him. But apparently she couldn't let him get off easy.

Why didn't Qrow dodge? Well the answer was simple, you see after a man has such intense sex, he finds himself weakened by the sheer power of the orgasm he received, so it makes him sluggish and tired. So naturally Qrow couldn't dodge the kicks to his doodleberries. And now here he crouched, wondering how a day so wonderful and full of fun could be ruined by two nasty kicks to the knackers.

"Come on Dad, we got work to do." Jem said as he helped him into the bull head.

"I swear to god, if I can't have kids after this, I'm gonna be pissed." Qrow said as Jem gave him a weird look.

"What do you mean? You have me! I'm your son!" He joked as Qrow glared at him.

"And look how you turned out." He joked back.

"Ouch, harsh man." Honestly, the two had bonded over their love of insulting each other. It reminded Jem of his adoptive father.

He was just glad this didn't turn into one of those situations where the hero and his real father argued all the time and only reconciled when one of them died. Good lord, that situation had been done in a lot of stories, and he was glad this wasn't one of them.

"Sooo, next step Menagerie?" Jem asked as Winter nodded.

"First we fly to the ship yard, then we take a cruise to Menagerie." She finished as Jem nodded.

"Don't you think the people of Menagerie will be a little on edge from a member of the Schnee family showing up?" He asked as she smirked.

"They would, if it wasn't for who I was dating…" She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Uh, how am I going to stop a bunch of faunus if they want to hurt you?" He asked as he was confused.

"Didn't you watch the news?" She asked as he shook his head.

"Well, except for that whole 'Father of the lion' story that's been going around, I have no idea what that's about." He said as Winter facepalmed.

Apparently the reporters had come up with a new name for him ever since they got him saving Nala on tv. Not once, but twice! The first time being the tournament, and the second time from the Gestapo guys. Add that onto the fact that the world knew he was dating Winter Schnee….it led to a lot of people rethinking their lives and wondering what the hell was going on in the world.

After all, why would a Schnee date a faunus sympathizer if she hated Faunus? Winter didn't hate Faunus, she just hated the white fang, which was perfectly reasonable. Still though, her father's company had pissed off a lot of faunus rights groups, so at worst they hated her, at best they ignored her.

But dating Jem might help, after all, according to the news, saving Nala had really made him seem like a good man to the Faunus community.

Anyways, they watched as the bullhead took off and waved goodbye to Klein on the ground.

 **One Hour later**

"And that is why I think we should send our business elsewhere." Jacques said as he saw his wife pass by his office as he was negotiating a deal.

The weird thing was by now she was drunk and acting miserable, but today she seemed off, and by off he meant happy. He knew the woman wasn't happy in their marriage, but she was his wife, and she would have to deal with it, so it had caused the two to have a bitter relationship for the last twenty five years, he couldn't even remember the last time they shared a bed, they just weren't compatible. But that was to be expected of an arranged marriage, after all, he only married into the family for power, it wasn't like he was looking to marry for love.

But no, his wife seemed happy, joyful even. She had this weird glow about her, and he found it unsettling, whatever it was, he didn't like it.

He had a feeling he wasn't going to like the reason why she was so happy. But for now he decided to ignore it.

 **Whitley's Room**

"Okay…no one is in here, I managed to sneak this past the guards, and I finally have a box of tissues to use." Whitley said as he hadn't RELEASED in over two weeks. And it was driving him crazy.

He held the magazine in his hand, he had to buy it from another outside source, apparently Klein found his original supplier and paid him to go away, so Whitley had to find a new porno supplier. And it took forever, but now he finally had it.

"Ahhh, here we go." He slipped his pants off and crawled into bed.

"Just me and my….." He pulled it out of the bag it was in.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF OUM?!" He yelled as he threw it on the ground. But not after getting a long look at the cover.

" _Hung Cocks in Socks."_ It was a gay porn magazine featuring rooster Faunus.

"I ordered 'Horny Does and Hoes'! Not this! Stupid supplier...got me the wrong one!" Whitley grumbled angrily to himself.

"Master Whitley is everything alri-" Klein opened the door and found the porno magazine on the ground.

"O-Oh….Oh dear….Oh dear me…." He said as Whitley panicked.

"I swear to Oum! This isn't what it looks like!" He yelled as he jumped out of bed.

Klein shielded his eyes as he noticed that Whitley wasn't wearing any pants.

"Master Whitley…I will ask that you cover yourself! I can understand that….you may be confused….but…I cannot allow you to read this, you are not old enough for this." Great, now Klein thought he was gay.

"I-I'm not confused!" He said with a blush.

"Oh…so you already know…well…congratulations for feeling comfortable with telling me, but I still must report this to your father." Klein threw the magazine in the bag and walked out of the room.

"….." Whitley laid down on his bed and screamed into his pillow.

* * *

 **(1) A reader suggested to me that Mrs. Schnee's name might be Willow, so until its prove or unproven, I'll use it anyways.**


	85. Just Do It

**Another filler chapter, anyways, this one was, I don't know it just felt weird, mostly because I finished it and thought to myself 'Hmm, is this a little too weird? Wait, who am I kidding, this whole fic was started because I was drunk, this will be right at home.'**

 **The story will seem rushed because I didn't want to write the Grimm fight scene on the boat.**

* * *

"I'M THE KING OF THE WOOOOORRRRLLLLDDD!" Jem yelled with Jaune right next to him.

"Idiot…" Winter said as she was pulled close to Jem.

"Say it!" He had a grin on his face.

"No…" She wouldn't make herself look like a fool.

"Please?" He asked as she sighed.

"Just once…." She put her arms out like a bird.

"Oh look, I'm flying Jem!" She rolled her eyes.

As it turns out, they almost missed their boat. Winter and Team RWBY and NPR made it on time. But Jaune and Jem got distracted and barely made the boat. And now they were busy recreating Titanic scenes. At first Winter thought it was stupid, wait, scratch that, she still thought it was stupid. And needless to say, the other people on the boat didn't know why the crazy bald guy was saying he was the king of the world.

Qrow was laying on a beach chair with a bag of ice on his crotch, not just for the two kicks but also because they were still tender after the fuck fest he just went through. Seriously, this woman could suck and SUCK! It was a shock that she had gone without sex for so long, apparently all those years of getting nothing had really messed up her libido. Wait, If she had gone over twenty years without sex….how were Weiss and Whitley around?

" _Wait, she said it had been too long since she had a proper sex session, maybe that's what she meant."_ Qrow thought to himself.

Pyrrha was currently enjoying herself, she was able to walk a little more, and now she was wading in a pool on deck trying to get used to walking again, walking through water was a great way to strengthen muscles and get them used to resistance again.

Yang on the other hand was still having trouble with her right arm, while she could open and close her hand a little bit, she still couldn't form a fist just yet. It would probably be a few months of recovery before she could fight again. When she heard that, she was tempted to cut her arm off and hopefully go for that prosthetic Jem told her that she got in the show.

"You're an idiot." Winter said as she stepped down.

"But I'm a lovable idiot!" He grinned as she smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Yes, yes you are." She hugged him softly.

"You know, there is something I've been meaning to-" Jem was cut off as he suddenly realized something.

"Wait..this boat…this is the one that got attacked by…" Suddenly he heard sirens going off.

"GRIMM!" The captain yelled as they saw the sea monster Grimm.

"Oh you got to be kidding me!" Jem said as he had something very important to go over.

"WOOF WOOF!" Zeus barked at the monster.

" _Monstrous Cur! You shall not pass!"_ Zeus was trying to cast his dog magic on it…but it was all in vain.

Because he was a dog….and he didn't have Magic….

 **BACK IN PATCH**

"You sure about this?" Taiyang did not believe he had to rent a van.

"Absolutely! Our son is alive! And he's with his lover! And he DIDN'T TELL US SHE WAS A RICH WOMAN FROM ANOTHER WORLD!" Dale was slightly pissed.

Granted, they couldn't believe they were in another world themselves, but to think that their son hid that from them was insulting. So he was going to get an ass chewing when they saw him again.

"You realize it's a long way to Menagerie, and we'll have to catch a boat right?" Tai said as they nodded.

He got a letter from Ruby saying they were going to be heading to Menagerie soon to contact Blake's parents, apparently she was some kind of island Princess or something. Talk about surprises, either way, as soon as he heard Jem would be with them, Dale and Momma were soon ready to go.

"Why do you need so many guns?" Tai asked as he saw Dale loading up a shit ton of weapons.

"An American never goes anywhere without his guns!"

"PRAISE JESUS!" Momma finished for Dale.

"Geez, you Americans and your guns, is there anything else you obsess over?" He asked as he started the van.

"Bacon, Bullets, Muscle Cars, a lot of things." Dale said as he put on his shirt that said 'Leave it on the field.' and the shirt had two civil war soldiers shaking hands while they displayed their respective flags.

"Okay, well, we're off."

 **MENAGERIE**

"Kali?" Ghira said as his wife came into his study.

"Oh honey! You have to try these! They're fantastic!" Kali brought in some type of pastry Grandmama cooked up.

"You know, our people haven't been this well fed in years! And yet she doesn't use up any of our supplies, in fact she seems to bring her own! It's fantastic!" Kali loved their new chef.

She tried to be professional, But Grandmama asked that Kali referred to her as Grandmama and nothing else. Needless to say, Kali was happy to oblige when Grandmama made her famous Tuna salad. It was absolutely mouth watering.

"We probably shouldn't eat too much, you know we need to maintain our weight." Ghira said as he bit into a pasty, and he almost moaned at the taste.

"I know, but then she says that horrible phrase….." Kali felt shivers go up her spine.

"You mean the 'Whatta matta you no like Nonna's cooking?' Yes even I will admit, I felt guilty when she said that." Ghira had no idea, but every time she said that, he felt so guilty.

"Luckily cooking for the whole island keeps her busy…" Kali swore to Oum, that woman was going to open her own restaurant on this island.

"You know, its amazing that a human could be so well connected with the people here, not once have I seen her give any faunus a weird look for their traits, in fact she almost seems excited, almost like she has never seen one of us before." Kali sat down next to her husband.

"That's ridiculous, maybe she's just a supporter, not all humans fear us you know." Ghira said as that made the most logical sense.

"The odd thing is she says she was looking for her Grandson, he disappeared some time ago, poor thing, She must be worried sick." Kali felt a little sad as Ghira sipped some tea.

"Perhaps as repayment for her services we could send some of our scouts?" Ghira suggested as his wife nodded.

"I'm sure she would appreciate that, Oum knows its the least we could do for her." Suddenly the door to their study was kicked open.

"Ciao Amici! I baked some Cannoli for you!" Grandmama said as she set the tray down.

"That's very kind of you….what are Cannoli?" Ghira had never heard of these before.

"Heavenly treats! Go on! Go on! Try!" She said as she left the room.

"I swear, this woman is going to fatten us up so much we won't be able to move." Ghira took a bite out of the Cannoli as his wife just continued to munch happily on her tuna salad.

It was good to be them.

 **WITH BLAZE**

"Ladies, you really know how to spoil me." Blaze was being treated like a king.

After he woke up and realized he wasn't dreaming, and he completed all of his sexual fantasies, life was absolutely awesome. Add that onto the fact that Luna and Vixen, the two faunus strippers were practically waiting on him in various ways, from cooking for him, to rubbing his shoulders, and washing his clothes, needless to say, he was living the good life.

"Only the best for you sweetie!" Luna said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Wow, who would have thought being so accepting of them both for their faunus traits and for their….extra appendage would get him treated like a prince.

Never in his life would he think that he would have two beautiful women who adored him and waited on him. But there was still one problem.

"Where are we anyways?" He asked as Vixen was rubbing his shoulders.

"Western side of Menagerie, at the 'Lift's her tail' strip club." Vixen said as his eyes widened.

"Wait…I'm In Remnant?" He asked as they nodded.

"Yeah, what do you mean? Are you some kind of alien?" Luna asked as Blaze took a sharp inhale of breath.

"Ladies…" He knew this was going to be a long explanation.

 **WITH CRISTOFER**

"Fucking Robots, Fucking pieces of shit, Fucking real furry people…" Cristofer hated this place.

He was still being chased by the authorities for attacking that weird furry human thingy. Apparently what he did was a hate crime, which really sucks because he was just acting on his instincts to beat up furries. But one good thing had come out of this.

He had found his target, and he knew where he was going, and he was going to get that bastard and take him home, even if it killed him.

"Hell, I may kill him myself for putting me through this!" Cristofer said to himself.

 **MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM ER I MEAN SALEM'S TOWER**

"Why are we spending resources searching for this one man?" Watts asked as they sat around the table looking at Salem.

"This one man managed to catch Cinder off guard, probably helped Ozpin hide the maiden, and according to the story I heard from Cinder, his family managed to outsmart them mutiple times in their world, someone like that could make a useful bargaining chip." Salem said as Cinder looked away.

She didn't tell Salem the more embarassing details of the story, such as them being fed by an elderly italian lady, while Mercury got shit on by a dog, as well as his dick skin torn up, and she definitely wasn't telling Salem about Emerald catching Mercury with a pair of her panties.

As far as Salem knew, this man created traps that surprised even one of her best warriors, so Salem was interested, what kind of people were this…Jeremiah and his family? She was curious to know, a man like that could be useful to them, or at the least, they could kill him and be done with it.

"I'm surprised Tyrian was so willing to go after him." Hazel had never seen Tyrian so excited for anything.

"Tyrian is loyal to me, I am certain he was just eager to please." Salem said as she let out a small smirk.

Little did she know Tyrian was going to kill Jem because he wanted Tigerstripe all to himself.

"That reminds me, why does Mercury seem to have developed an aversion to the Griffins around the tower?" Salem asked as he had been giving them a wide berth.

Another detail Cinder left out of her report was the fact that Mercury landed in a big pile of Griffon shit when they got back here. So naturally he was staying away from them. The weird thing is when he thought the beowolves were that Diarrhea dog, and he ran back to his room.

Yeah, he may have been slightly scarred for life.

As for Salem, she either wanted this man captured and taken hostage or killed, either one would work.

"I need to get back to training." Cinder said as she began to walk out the door.

Unaware that almost all of the men, including Hazel were now watching her leave.

"What are you doing?" Salem asked in annoyance.

"Well uhm, uh…" Mercury said as Hazel spoke up.

"Admiring her progress." He said as Salem took that for an answer.

In truth, Cinder's ass had remained the same size ever since she got back from Earth. As the song goes, you hate to see her go but love to watch her leave.

Do she got a booty?

" _She doooooooooo."_ Mercury thought to himself.

 **BACK ON THE SHIP**

"SHIT!" Jem yelled as he noticed all of his friends were fighting the Grimm as he was just shooting from a distance.

"FIRE!" The cannon rang out as they tried to get a hold of this.

"You said we fought this thing before?" Blake asked as they were currently firing at it.

"Yeah, but Sun was helping you out. So unless he…" Suddenly he was cut off by a yell.

"SUN TO THE RESCUE!" Okay now that was confusing.

"Wait, what?" Jem was confused.

Why was Sun on the ship? Wasn't he only on the ship because he was following Blake before? Or maybe it was something else? Come to think of it, he couldn't remember the reason why Sun was here at the moment. Unless of course this was something that just happened to be a fixed point in time.

"Well this is weird." Jem said as he continued to fire dust rounds.

Suddenly he saw that that the Grimm was getting awfully close.

"Oh shit…" The Grimm's jaws came down on him.

"NOT AGAIN!" He yelled as he dodged out of the way, but that didn't mean he was safe.

"Oh…Oh Tits." He realized he was sitting on top of the Grimm's head.

" **SCREEEEEE!"** It spread its wings and then.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Jem started screaming as he held on for dear life.

The group froze for a bit as they saw him flying through the air.

"Oh boy…" Winter said as she realized what was happening.

"Hang on!" She said as Blake, Sun, and her jumped after him.

 **TIGERSTRIPE**

"Oooohhh. Oohhhh!" Tigerstipe was currently doing unspeakable things to a picture of Jem in the shower with a pair of wolf ears drawn on top of his head.

*Oooooohhh, your tail is so fluffy!" She imagined it brushing over her breasts as she had her eyes closed.

"Hi Tigerstripe I was wo-" Tyrian walked in and she freaked out.

"TYRIAN! FUCKING KNOCK!"She yelled as she covered herself.

Tyrian slammed her door shut as he pushed his back to the door. He was dropping in to say Hi, when he went to go and kill Jem, he couldn't actually find him since he didn't know where he was at the time. So he decided to put it off until he had more information. And then he would kill the one who stole his loves affection!

"Boobies…" Tyrian said to himself as he smiled.

"I need some time to myself." He said as he ran off to his room.

 **BACK ON THE SHIP**

"Damn you're lucky." Winter said as Jem was currently kissing the deck of the ship.

"Oh sweet lord, how I love having something solid beneath me." He said as he never felt so happy to be on a boat.

"Come on! That wasn't so bad!" Sun said with a grin.

"Hey! You try hanging on to that thing's back while its trying to buck you off!" He yelled at the monkey faunus.

Honestly that was the worst ten minutes of his life, the weird thing was he couldn't even remember it. Almost like he had skipped over the entire scenario, how odd.

"Come on, at least it looked cool, and people got it on video." He said pointing to some people who had their scrolls out.

" _OH COCK!"_ You could hear Jem scream over the video.

"…..God I swear to god if they send that to a news station they better edit that part out." Jem said as he suddenly remembered something.

"Anyways, I better do this before something crazy happens again." He said as he reached into his pocket.

"What are you-" Winter's eyes went wide as she saw him pull out a box.

And then she let out an actual gasp as she saw him get down on one knee.

"Is he?!" Yang asked.

"HE IS!" Ruby got super excited.

"Oh…" Weiss didn't know how to feel.

"J-J-Jem?" Winter was not a woman caught off guard very often.

THIS however did catch her off guard, and the Specialist was now stuttering. A feat very few men have achieved.

"Winter….I'll be honest, I am not good when it comes to speeches or eloquent words, so I'm just going to wing it.." That got a few chuckles.

"When I first met you and got to know you, I have to admit, I didn't expect anything to happen, I thought there was absolutely NO way we could ever work out, we were from different worlds, quite literally, but then, as we started to talk more, I realized we truly did start to bond, and that we could learn to let go of the worlds we came from and connect on common ground, and in a way, I felt more of a connection with you then I ever had with anyone. How could two people from different worlds be so similar? And then I realized…" He was so going to get called Cheesy for this.

"Love really has no boundaries, and just because we came from different worlds, doesn't mean we couldn't be together, if anything is just made our relationship stronger…and now I sound cheesy as hell, so I'm just going to say it…" Winter had her mouth covered as she knew he was about to say it.

"Will you marry me?" He asked as everyone looked on in baited anticipation.

Winter was shocked, she never expected this. Well, maybe sometime in the future, but never now. Her hands were shaking. Was she ready for this? Well she could be. Did she love Jem? Of course she did. And they did have a daughter together, even If she was adopted. But what about her career? What about her own life? What about Jems? Were they ready for such a big step?

Everyone else looked on in worry as they noticed Winter was taking a long time to answer. And even Jem was starting to panic a little.

" _Shit, maybe this wasn't such a good idea."_ He was really starting to consider jumping overboard right now and swimming to that island in the distance to escape the embarassment.

But then Winter let out a smile and gave him one simple answer.

"Of course I will you idiot!" She decided to just go with the flow.

Jem smiled as he put he ring on her finger and Ruby and Yang started clapping.

"Woo hoo!" Ruby cheered as Yang gave him a thumbs up.

"Congratulations." Weiss said in a neutral tone.

She was happy for them, but she still had her doubts, which was normal.

"Damn…I'm getting a Schnee for a daughter in law." Qrow said to himself as he never expected this would happen.

"This ring is beautiful." Winter said as she looked at it.

"Where did you get this?" There was no way Jem could afford this.

"Wellllll….." He had a flashback.

 **Back at the mansion**

" _Go on, pick one." Willow said as she had taken Jem aside and shown him her ring collection._

 _As it turned out, Qrow and her finished early, but they were maintaining the ruse that they were still having sex so Jem could come in and pick out a ring for Winter._

" _Don't you think I should pick one out myself? I mean, right now it seems like I'm taking the cheap way out." He asked Winter's mom as he didn't want to appear cheap, especially since the Schnee family was rich and taking a ring from Willow would seem like a cheap thing to do._

" _Oh, you're not picking from my collection, you're picking the materials, and you'll craft it here." She knew it would seem cheap and pointless to give Winter a store bought ring since money was not an issue for the Schnee._

 _So instead she was giving him access to the materials, and she would help him make a ring._

" _But our ship leaves soon, how am I going to get this finished in time?" He asked as he had to get back before Winter got suspicious._

" _All you need to do is craft the gem into the ring, with my expertise I can help you do that in five minutes." She sat down as he picked out some materials._

" _Okay, well here we go, Sapphire like her eyes, and how about a silver band like her hair?" He asked as he held out the two materials._

" _Fair enough, although a little unoriginal." He sat down as they got to work._

" _Wait a minute, I didn't tell you I was planning on asking her to marry me?" He suddenly realized that._

" _Darling please, I know its on your mind, I may not have been the best mother, but even I can see the signs."_

 **Back to Reality**

"Is that why your fingertips are taped up?" Winter asked as he looked away.

"And why you went back to the house to get a snack?" She now realized that was just a cover.

"And Qrow was helping you cover?" Winter suddenly felt bad for kicking him in the nuts.

"Honestly, I'm just glad that ring didn't fall out of my pocket, otherwise I would have had to go with option B." He scratched the back of his head.

"What was option B?" She asked as he pointed over to what appeared to be a gumball machine.

"What is-" Winter deadpanned as she realized what it was.

It was one of those children's toy jewelry dispensers that you would see at small town diners, worth about fifty cents a piece.

"Really?" She looked at him with an 'Are you serious' look.

"Well, I didn't want to wait to propose, what if another Grimm attacked?" He asked trying to justify himself.

"I still don't think a ring with a picture of a kitten on it would be suitable." Jem chuckled at that.

"But it would be funny!"


	86. Misunderstanding

**So I'll be honest, I was suffering from Writers Block while writing this chapter, that and I really trying to get the next chapter for endless possibilities finished. Anyways here we go.**

* * *

"Woooow, so this is Menagerie." Jem said as it looked pretty nice as they were pulling into port.

"Reminds me of Hawaii." He said as he saw the tropical plants.

"Well don't get too used to it, the whole island isn't like this." Blake said as Jem sighed.

"Wow, way to kill the fun." He said as Blake narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I know, they gave it to the faunus as a settlement and it turned out to actually not be that good, I know the history, I don't need the lecture." He said as Blake rolled her eyes.

Winter was smiling, she had to admit, she was not a woman for material things, but looking down at the ring did make her happy. Mostly because it symbolized that Jem was willing to make a commitment, not because it looked beautiful. Still though, she could see that it wasn't entirely perfect, she saw a few marks from where Jem had missed his mark, which in a way made it even better, because it was rough, just like him.

"Geez, even Ice Queen likes looking at expensive rocks." Qrow said as Winter sighed.

"And there goes that moment." She looked back at him.

"I have to admit, never though a son of mine would end up proposing to a Schnee." He took a swig of whiskey.

"I never thought my mother would lower her standards and sleep with a Branwen." She thought she was being witty.

"You realize you just insulted yourself right?" He pointed out as she glared at him.

"…." Damn, he got her there.

"What can I say, the women if your family just can't keep their hands off us, just wait, next thing you know, maybe Weiss and my niece will-" Suddenly Qrow found a sword at his throat.

"DON'T….EVEN…..JOKE….ABOUT…..THAT." Winter said slowly so Qrow could understand.

"Woah, easy there, geez, whats wrong with my niece?" He pushed the sword away slowly.

"Weiss is too young to be thinking about anyone, MAN OR WOMAN." Winter didn't judge, but she knew Weiss was into guys.

"Woah, now who is acting like a Mama bear?" Qrow teased as Winter looked down.

"Mommy why is Grandpa picking on you?" She asked as Qrow looked a little down.

"I'm not a grandpa…." That just made him feel old.

"Yes you are! You're my grandpa! And you look old like one!" Nala said with a smile as Qrow felt something break.

"Old…." Okay now that stung a little.

He was middle aged! He wasn't old!

Winter smiled as she noticed that Nala was slowly taking out Qrow's sense of self esteem. This could work in her benefit.

"It's okay to be old Grandpa! You even got the graying hairs to go along with it!" Nala said as Qrow looked in a mirror.

"Okay, I'll give you that but-" He was cut off.

"Oh! Your beard is getting gray!" She said as Qrow looked back in the mirror.

Sure enough, his beard had started changing color.

"Well Qrow, you certianly are…aging well." Winter said as she realized Nala didn't even realize that she was picking on Qrows age.

"….I'm going to get drunk." He said as he walked to the bar.

Winter smiled at her adopted Daughter as she hugged her, she did what Winter couldn't do, she actually made Qrow feel what it was like to lose some of your dignity. Granted, he did sleep with a midget stripper, so he didn't really have much dignity left in the first place.

"PORT SIDE!" The captain yelled as they started to dock.

 **With Blaze**

"Woah, I did not expect that to go THAT well." Blaze said as he was driving with his two new girlfriends in the seats next to him.

He was a little worried about how to start the conversation that came with him being from another world. Since he couldn't actually come up with a complicated reason as to why he was there, he went with the simplest explanation he could.

" _Hey Girls! You just banged an Alien who's into girls with dicks."_ Yep, that was actually what they said.

They took it pretty well. Of course, their boss found out they slept with the clientale, so he fired them. They did not take that well, so they kicked him in the balls, stole his briefcase full of money, and bought a truck. It was a little awkward when they had to pay with singles everywhere they went.

"I don't care if you're an alien, you're the first to accept us for who we are!" Vixen said as she snuggled into his left shoulder.

"Agreed." Luna snuggled into his left.

Blaze just smirked, this seemed way too good to be true, although to be honest he was a little worried that they may have attachment issues considering how quickly they warmed up to him.

Where were they going now? Well, they were going to the port, because Blaze was in Remnant, and he wanted to travel, that and he wanted to say Hi to Blake's mom, she was one of his favorites in the show due to just being so adorable.

Who knows what else would happen along the way?

 **Back at Port**

"Uh, is it just me, or does everyone here look a little….chubby?" Jem said as he saw some people walking about.

"Weird, everyone seems to have gained weight…." Blake knew that they couldn't afford to overeat so much.

"Mommy! Can we stop by and get some of that blood sausage stew at the cookhouse?" A hippo faunus child said as his mother nodded.

"Of course! Like I'm missing out on this." She said as they walked away.

"Huh, this seems familiar." Jem was getting a very familiar feeling.

"WOOF WOOF!" Zeus suddenly started wagging his tail.

"What is it Zeus?" Jem kneeled down to look at his dog.

"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"

"What? No, Grandmama isn't here…Yes know it smells like her cooking but how could-" Suddenly his eyes went wide.

"Wait a minute, you're here too right?"

"Woof!"

"So….did you come here in an explosion?"

"Woof!"

"So that means…" A lightbulb just went off over his head.

"FOLLOW THE SMELL!" He yelled as he took off running with Zeus right on his heels.

Meanwhile the entire group was looking at the scene with what was akin to confusion. Winter couldn't believe that her fiancee was talking to his dog…even worse, he seemed to understand his dog, and the dog understood him…what the hell was going on?

"Did…did he just have a conversation with his dog?" Blake had never been so confused.

"Are we even shocked at this point?" Winter asked in a daze.

"Where is he going?" Ruby asked as Blake followed his dust trail.

"Towards my parents house?" She asked as she started running.

Who knows how her parents would react to Jem?

"Wait! Did Jem say Grandmama?!" Nora suddenly got excited and started running after him.

"WAIT FOR ME!" She yelled out in happiness.

"Good Oum, is everyone going insane all of a sudden?" Yang asked as the rest of the group facepalmed.

"You sure you want to marry our cousin now?" Yang joked as Winter nodded, even though she did it in a subdued manner.

"I'm sure, even if he is a bit crazy. Then again…" She looked back at Qrow.

"If I can accept that THIS asshole is his father, AND that said father happened to sleep with MY mother, I believe we can deal with anything." She said as Qrow just smirked.

"Heh heh, looks like I'm playing matchmaker for my son now." Qrow asked as everyone looked around.

"Hey where is Nala?" Weiss asked as everyone looked around.

"WOOOOO HOOOOOO!" Nala yelled as she was currently riding on her father's shoulders.

"Oh damn it!" Now Winter was running after them making sure they didn't do anything TOO stupid.

As the rest of the group trotted along, the rest of the faunus looked towards the sky.

"Hey look up there!" A kitten faunus said as she looked up.

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"OH SHIT IT IS A PLANE!"

A small biplane crashed down onto the beach, luckily no one was injured as they got out of the way in time. But why the heck was a plane crashing here? This wasn't one of those big military vessels, it seemed to be a civilian aircraft. So why was?

"AAGGGGGHHHH!" A man with an M60 and his muscles bursting popped out of the plane.

"Jesus Christ Dale! You couldn't even land the damn thing!" Momma said as she came out without a scratch.

"You…do realize we just stole a plane…." Taiyang couldn't believe he was dealing with a bunch of lunatics.

"And I took about a week off of our trip by doing so! You're welcome!" He turned to a small child.

"You there! Puppy! Did you see a bald headed bearded man with a rifle and Winter Schnee?" He asked as the child pointed to the center of the island.

"THANK YOU! ONWARD!" He yelled as he started running along with Momma.

"….And people say I'm overprotective…" Taiyang sighed to himself as he followed them.

 **At the house**

"My word, you certainly don't stop cooking do you?" Kali said as Ghira was trying to keep up with Grandmama.

"Not when everyone is so skinny!" Grandmama knew they needed to fatten up, and sometimes you needed to eat more than any human or in this case faunus being should eat in their life.

"Well, we certainly do app-" Suddenly Grandmama stood straight up, her hair feeling like static electricity was running through it.

"My Grandmama senses are tingling!" She said as the two faunus rulers looked at her with a funny look.

'Grandmama senses?" They thought as they heard the sound of footsteps.

"Do you hear that?" Ghira asked.

"Yeah, sounds like footsteps…"

"And they're getting c-" Suddenly they heard a loud crash.

"OH YEAH!" Jem yelled as he crashed through the wall of the house.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ghira got ready for battle.

"GRANDMAMA!" Jem yelled out as he spread his arms out.

"Carissima nipote!" Grandmama yelled as she embraced her Grandson.

"What?" Ghira said as his wife suddenly got tackled.

"Ah! Stop it! Stop! Ha ha!" Kali was currently being licked to death by a very happy and large dog.

"Hey! Get off my wife!" Ghira yelled as the dog turned to him.

" _MORE NEW CAT FRIENDS!"_ Zeus yelled as he tackled the giant faunus to the ground.

"WHAT?! STOP THAT?! STOP IT! GO BACK TO MY WIFE!" Ghira yelled as he just got tackled by a big dog.

"Grandmama! What are you doing here?" Jem said as Grandmama was just happy to see him.

"Oh Nipote! It is such a long story! But all I know is I ended up here! And the people! They were so skinny! I couldn't leave! I had to stay! But they're still too skinny!" She said as if that was the worst thing someone could be.

"Grandmama...your idea of too skinny is anyone who isn't the size of Andre the giant." He said as she smiled.

"I dream big!" She said as Jem called his dog off.

"Jem! Do you have any idea how much damage you ca-" Blake was cut off as she saw her parents.

"Blake?" Ghira said with a shocked look.

"Hi Dad...Mom..." Blake said as Kali hugged her.

"My baby girl!" She was already in a good mood from being licked by a dog, but this was even better.

"Who are these p-" Suddenly he was tackled through a door.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BABY BOY YOU HAIRY BASTARD!" A large man wearing Camo pants and a 'Make America Great Again' hat tackled Ghira through the wall, creating yet another hole that would need to be fixed.

"PA?!" Jem yelled as he wasn't expecting that.

"DAD!" Blake yelled out in worry as she saw them tumbling down a hill.

"MY SWEET SWEET SON!" Momma yelled as she hugged Jem.

"AGH GAH! MA! YOU'RE HERE TOO?!" Okay now this was just getting ridiculous.

"Teach you to steal my family away you filthy pedo!" He heard his Dad's voice yell out.

"I am not a pedo you crazy bastard!" The sounds of a fist fight ensuing interrupted the scenery.

"FOR GOD SAKES DAD I'M Twenty Two years old! I don't have to worry about Pedophiles! And even if I had to, GHIRA IS NOT A PEDOPHILE!" Jem yelled as Nala was clinging to her dads leg.

"D-Daddy, who are these people?" She asked as Momma's neck turned and snapped to look at him.

"Small Child...what did you just call him?" She asked with a smile.

"H-He's my daddy." She said as Momma looked at him.

"You...YOU...YOU WENT DING DING WITHOUT THE WEDDING RING!" Momma pulled out the ass whipping belt.

"NO! NO! I SWEAR I DIDN'T!" He ran over to Winter with Nala on his heels.

"I swear! Nala is my adopted daughter!" He said as he hugged them both close.

"It's true!" Winter yelled coming to the defense of her boyfriend...Momma was scary.

"Oh? So no ding ding?" She said as Jem breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Yes, no ding ding." Nala said even though she didn't know what that was.

"Actually..." Weiss came into the room with an evil look on her face.

"That is a lie Momma, they did Ding Ding without the wedding ring...TWICE...In one day..." Both Winter and Jem looked at her with horror and betrayal.

"Weiss...Why?!" Winter looked at her sister.

"Think of this as payback for forcing me to watch you two streak down the hallway towards your bedroom." Weiss said as Momma looked back at the two, her whipping belt at the ready.

"Nala sweetie, why don't you go stand with Weiss over there." Momma said in a sweet tone that Nala obeyed.

"Okay!" She didn't think any woman who could speak like that could be so bad.

"As for you two!" Momma cracked the belt.

"THE BEATINGS WILL NOW BEGIN!" She charged with the belt in hand.

"SHIT!" Jem yelled as he picked up Winter Bridal style and started to run.


	87. Time To Be Punished

**Okay so here we go again with another chapter, mostly because I had to get this one out of my head.**

 **So here we go.**

* * *

"Why are you carrying me?!" Winter yelled as Jem was running.

"I'm being Chivalrous!" He defended himself.

"I can run faster than you!" She yelled back as she looked back and saw Momma with the look of the devil in her eyes.

"GET OVER HERE!" She yelled out like Scorpion.

"RUN FASTER!" Winter yelled as he turned the corner.

"HGH UGH!" Suddenly he felt a belt wrap around his neck as he dropped Winter.

"Jem!" She yelled as she rolled away a few feet.

He got on his hands and knees, only for a hand to shoot out from the doorway and drag him back.

"AGH!" He yelled as he grabbed onto the doorway as Winter heard demonic sounds coming from the corner.

"JEM!" Okay, this was new, she hadn't been this scared for his life since he fell into that Grimm's mouth.

"WINTER! RUN! GET TO DA CHOPPA!" He yelled as she was trying to pull him back.

But the force that had a hold on him was too great, and she found her strength fading.

"I'm not leaving you!" She said as she knew there was a reason she was scared of Momma.

She was scared of Momma? Of course she was! She remembered the first day she met her, those horrible unblinking eyes, filled with nothing but promises of pain and torture for those who had done her wrong. And Winter received the full package when it came to those eyes, if it wasn't for Nora saving her life at the last second, Winter's head would have been mounted on a wall right now.

But now the monster inside Momma was back, and she needed to save Jem from it.

 **(Play Trevor Rabin: The Guardian Suite)**

"I'm not going to make it Winter!" He said as the growls and demonic laughter was becoming more prominent.

"Yes you will!" She yelled as she was pulling back with all of her might.

"Winter…." Jem said as he noticed she was holding on to his jacket sleeve.

"Don't even think about it!" She yelled as he reached for his knife and started cutting the sleeve.

"She can't get us both!" He yelled as the knife dug deeper into the leather.

"She won't! Don't you do that!" The knife was cutting more and more of his sleeve off.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Why was she crying? This was so out of character!

"I'm sorry…." He said as he cut the sleeve.

Winter fell back on her butt, time almost seemed to slow down as she saw Jem being pulled back around the corner. His eyes showing nothing but sadness and fear as he slowly disappeared behind the corner.

"JEM!" She yelled as she tried reaching out for his hand, the only one that was still reaching for her.

She made one quick grasp, hoping to save him from the horrible fate that awaited him.

SWOOSH

Her fingers hit nothing but air as he disappeared completely around the corner.

"JEEEEEMMMM!" She yelled as the house was now filled with another noise.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The sounds of an ass being whipped with a belt sounded off as demonic roars followed.

" _ **YOU WILL BE BEATEN! THERE IS NO ESCAPE!"**_ She heard a scary voice say as Jem's screams of pain just grew louder and worse.

Winter wanted to run, but she couldn't. The sound….the sound of her lover in pain, it was petrifying, he had faced down a Grimm before, but this…THIS MONSTER! Was on a compltely different level…she wasn't a human!

She was a demon in human skin!

" _ **Youuuuuuuuuu're Neeexxxxxttttt."**_ The voice said as Winter looked up.

Only to see the devil born out of the seventh circle of hell, red veins running up her arms, almost as if she was staring at the Grimm Queen herself, her skin as pale as the moonlight, her eyes seeming to have gone black and red, and that gaze, oh that horrible gaze! Looking down at her in judgement! Almost as if she was sitting at the entrance to heaven, wondering if she was worthy of getting in. But this demon, no…she would not let her enter Heaven, for Winter had commited one great sin….and for that, she was now in hell.

"AHHH!" Winter ran as this beast was more terrifying than anything she had ever faced before.

She started running, but she looked back, and her fear only doubled. The hellbeast wasn't running, she wasn't even walking! No….she seemed to be gliding across the floor! Almost as if she was a ghost! Or an unholy specter!

She felt a belt wrap around her ankle.

"NO! NO! NO!" She yelled as she dug her hands into the floor.

You know that scene in cartoons where the cat digs his claws into the floor, and all you get are shavings from the ground or floor? Well, Winter was proving that it was possible for that to happen. She left nail marks in the hardwood floors as she was being dragged back.

" _ **Now….Young Winter, You will be punished for your sins!"**_

"NOOOOOOO!" She yelled as she felt herself get flipped over and the first belt strike land straight on her ass.

 **FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER**

"Owwwww…." Jem said as Winter was right there groaning alongside him.

"I never expected to be spanked by a middle aged woman with a belt…" Winter had never been so embarassed in her life.

What happened was that when Momma was angry, she entered into an almost supernatural state, which gave her extraordinary abilities, abilites that some would consider to be unnatural, because every man knows, 'If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.' Either way, Jem and Winter were not spared from her wrath.

Luckily she spared them both the embarassment of getting a bare ass whipping, but it didn't make it any less embarassing. Winter was a grown woman in the military and she got thrown over a middle aged woman's knee and spanked with a belt. Jem was no better off in that regard.

"Serves you right! Do you have any idea what could have happened!" Momma said as she was feeding Nala beef jerky, the little girl had been rather excited to learn that she had two new grandparents.

Even if they were wackos.

"What if you had gotten her pregnant? Having a child born out of wedlock!" Momma made the sign of the cross.

"Uhm Mom…there's something we need to tell you." He said as Winter held up her hand.

"We're engaged." She said as Momma suddenly froze.

"Uhm…Miss are you alri-" Kali went to go talk to her, only to be sucked into a bone crushing hug.

"AAAHHHH! MY SON FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO COULD ACTUALLY LOVE HIM!" Momma yelled as Jem winced.

"Ouch, okay that hurts." He said as Winter rubbed his back in comfort.

"Daddy! I have another Grandma! And a Grandpa!" She said as Jem suddenly realized something.

"Hey, where is Pa?" He asked as they heard noises.

"Do you know who you're messing with? I was a former White Fang Leader!" Ghira's voice rang out as they heard a second voice.

"I eat those white fang furries for breakfast! And right now I'm VERY HUNGRY!" They heard fists pounding against hard man muscles.

"Wow…really dad? Commando? " Jem loved that movie, but come on, it was cheesy as hell now.

They looked outside to see testosterone filled, hairy chest, man slamming, sweaty muscle having, bare knuckle brawling! Surprisingly Jem's dad was holding his own against Ghira, which was odd considering one was a huntsman with Aura, and the other was just a hot blooded patriotic American, oh who are we kidding, THERE IS NO LIMIT TO PATRIOTIC POWER!

"I am not your enemy!" Ghira said as he slammed a fist into Dale's face.

"You kidnapped my son!" Dale sent a fist right back.

"WOAH! DAD! HE DIDN'T KIDNAP ME! I came here of my own free will!" Jem said as Dale looked back.

"Woah, Son….I did not know you were into older men…" Dale said as both Ghira and Jem's eyes went wide.

"W-WHAT?! No! It's not like that! I'm in love with Winter! We're engaged now! See?!" He brought Winter out and showed his father the ring.

"….Oh….So….this guy isn't a creeper?" He pointed a thumb to Ghira.

"That is what I have been trying to tell you!" Ghira was honestly pissed off, what kind of loon was this guy.

"Oopsie." Dale said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Oopsie?! You crash into my home, you tackle me through the wall, assault me, and all you have to say is OOPSIE?!" Ghira had never been this irritated in his life.

"Well excuuuusssseee me princess! This isn't the first time my son went missing! And sorry! When I saw a giant hairy man my instincts kicked in!" Pa said as Jem looked down in embarassment.

"You went missing before?" Winter asked wondering why his Dad seemed so protective.

"1999, Father Campello…" He said as Winter suddenly understood why he didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh….OH….I'm so sorry…." Apparently it was his Old Priest, and he was Catholic, she knew where this was going.

"It's okay, Dad found me in time!" He remembered that day very well.

Needless to say, he learned very quick that just because your priest offered you candy, didn't mean that it was okay to go with him anywhere. Luckily his dad showed up when he did, he never did understand why his priest had wine and Marvin Gaye playing…until he got older and realized he might need therapy. **(1)**

"Children children!" Grandmama came out with platters.

"Surely we can settle our differences over a nice meal!" She said as she cooked everyone's favorite dish.

"You can't seriously expect us to suddenly forgive each other because-" Grandmama shoved a meatloaf to Ghira's nose.

"…We'll talk this over after we eat." Ghira said still glaring at Dale.

"Fine by me…" He said as they walked back to the house.

 **With Blaze**

"Wow, who would have thought we would fine a natural hot spring here?" Luna asked as she was soaking herself in the warm water.

"I don't know, but I'm glad we did." She said as she was enjoying the time in her bikini.

"Oh thanks for waiting for me!" Blaze said as he emerged bare ass naked.

"WOO!" He yelled as he jumped in, surprising both Faunus.

"Ahhh! That's nice!" He said as both girls looked at him.

"What?" He asked with an innocent look.

"Why are you naked?" Luna asked as she didn't mind ever since they had sex, but it was a little odd.

"What? No one else is here, its not like we're going to get caught." He said as he leaned back against the stone wall.

"Well yeah, but aren't you worried?" Vixen asked with concern.

"Worried about what?" Blaze didn't know what the matter was.

"Grimm Crawfish?" Luna asked as Blaze raised a brow.

"Grimm Crawfish, oh come on, there is no way that is a th-" Suddenly Vixen's hand reached out for his junk.

"WOAH!" He thought he was getting a surprise.

" _ **GGRRRRRR."**_ Only for Vixen to pull out a tiny pissed off Grimm Crawdad.

"…..Holy shit…." Blaze looked at the pincers on that thing.

It would have chopped his dick off.

"….Maybe we should get out…" Vixen was suddenly feeling very concerned.

"YEP!" Luna and Blaze yelled as they got out and dried off.

No dicks were being snapped off today.

 **CRISTOFER**

"Please Sir! I don't want any trouble!" A Faunus said as he gave a ticket over to a man hidden in shadows.

"Just get out of here, and tell no one that you saw me!" Cristofer said as the faunus ran off.

Cristofer got a one way ticket to menagerie, he saw the news, the so called 'Hero of the faunus' or 'Father of the lion' was in Menagerie, they had footage of him getting off a boat and heading to their leader's house, the news crew assumed that he was going to receive an honor, and nobody knew what was happening inside. So that was Cristofer's cue to find that bastard and bring him home.

"I hate this whole family…." He said to himself as he hated Jem, He hated his parents, he hated Blaze, and he really, REALLY hated that Tiger.

Then again, it might have been the fact that he had been on the run for a few days now from the authorities, maybe that was making him angrier than he really was.

He still was going to kill Jem.

Or maybe just maim him. His insanity kept growing the more he was in this stupid world.

 **With Tigerstripe**

"NOOOOOOOO!" Tigerstripe threw a chair against the wall.

"Woah! Uhm, no need for violence!" Tyrian yelled as he dodged another chair.

"THAT BITCH! SLUT! WHORE! CUNT!" Tigerstripe yelled in fury as she stabbed a picture of Winter.

"She defiled him! She took advantage of him!" She snarled at the picture of the Schnee bitch.

Spies for the white fang had seen the so called hero of the faunus entering the home of Lord Belladonna on Menagerie, it was then they heard the commotion, and apparently, one of Jem's parents was extremelly upset with the fact that Jem and Winter went 'Ding ding without the wedding ring.'

IT MADE HER FURIOUS!

"I will kill her! I will kill her family! I will kill her future children! I will kill her friends! SHE WILL PAY FOR WHAT SHE HAS DONE!" Tigerstripe lovingly stroked a picture of Jem, this time it was a picture of him sitting on the toilet, another one she had taken by sneaking into his house when he thought he was alone.

"Don't worry my little wolf….I'll gut her like a fish, and then, I will ride you like a bull at a PBR show to erase all memory of her filthy pussy being anywhere near you." Tigerstipe said as even Tyrian took a step back at that.

" _I….I think I'm in love with this woman!"_ She truly was a woman after his own heart.

" _I thought you were in love with Salem?"_ The rational sane part of his brain argued.

" _Salem is my backup plan! But my heart belongs to Tigerstripe!"_ He argued against his own brain.

" _Good lord, why must you be such an insane fool?"_ The rational side of his brain rolled its imaginery eyes.

 **BACK IN MENAGERIE**

"So…you're from another world." Ghira asked as Dale nodded.

"Your son here went missing after fighting a bear, in which a dust accident sent him here…" Dale nodded again.

"But also brought along his crazy 'Furry' Stalker…." Ghira couldn't believe this.

"Who is part of a radical terrorist group that is also named the 'White Fang'?" Ghira couldn't believe that the name of the once peaceful organization was being used for an organization that had sex with each other dressed up as animals.

"Pretty much." Dale said as Ghira facepalmed.

"I don't like you." He said as he turned to Sun.

"Or you." He said as the monkey boy had pissed him off earlier.

"This just keeps getting weirder…" Qrow said as Momma noticed him.

"Now who is this?" She asked as Jem walked over.

"Mom….this is….someone very important to me…" He said as he put a hand on Qrow's shoulder.

"Geez kid, take your hand off of me, people are going to think I'm spoken for." Qrow said as Jem took his hand off.

"Ma…Pa…This is Qrow Branwen…he's…he's my father."

* * *

 **(1) Unfortunately, Father Campello is based on a priest I did have, I mean, he never got me behind a van or anything, but he was definitely a creeper.**


	88. Not much to this one

**Okay everyone.**

 **Sorry I've been really busy, College takes up a lot of time, and also talks with the recruiter are going well so far.**

 **Anyways this chapter took me awhile, and to be honest, not the biggest fan because it's just a little too rushed, mostly because I honestly didn't know what to write for this, and to be honest...I've gotten a little bored with most of my stories.**

 **BUT I did find some inspiration again, so I'm mostly back on track.**

 **Anyways, another reason it took me longer than usual to update...well...you'll understand about 3/4 of the way through this chapter.**

* * *

The room was silent as Momma, Pa, and Grandmama sat in silence at the revelation. Qrow himself was rather spooked due to the fact that they now knew who he was, naturally he didn't think it would be a big deal. But one thing was for sure, this was a big deal to them. Finally Dale made a move.

"So….Mr. Branwen…" He held out a hand for him to shake.

"Nice…..to…meet…you." Dale said slowly but calmly.

"Uh, nice to meet you t-" Qrow was then hit over the head with a rolling pin.

"BASTARDO!" Grandmama yelled as she continued to hit him with the rolling pin.

"Ow?! What the hell?" He got another bonk on the head.

"You left your son!" Family was important to Grandmama.

"I didn't even know I had one!" That only got a whip on the ass by Momma.

"You should have tried to find him!" She said as they all started beating on Qrow.

"HE WAS IN A DIFFERENT WORLD!" Qrow yelled but that just made them madder.

"If you cared about your son, you would have gone through hell and back to find him!" Dale said as Jeremiah just sighed.

"Honestly, I expected this to happen." He said as Winter smirked.

In all honesty, she was actually enjoying this, after getting her ass beat by a pissed off woman with a leather belt, this was a great stress relief for her. Watching Qrow get a beat down by two very pissed off adoptive parents, and one pissed off Italian lady with a rolling pin. Life was great again.

"Oh, I mean to ask…" Jem said as he got close to Ghira and Kali.

"What are you doing?" Ghira did not look comfortable with another dude being this close.

"I need to ask, because you might not want me to say this in the open." He leaned in close to both of their ears and started to whisper.

Winter noticed Blake's mom start to blush, before she got a pissed off look on her face and left the room. Ghira wasn't too far behind as he followed his wife, Winter was a little bit worried. Why were they mad? Jem wasn't in trouble was he?

"What did you ask?" She whispered to him as he chuckled.

"I asked them about the cover of Whitley's magazine." He grinned as she had to think it over.

"You mean the porn magazine?" She couldn't believe he was actually asking them about it.

"Well….it wasn't them, but apparently that magazine is know for super imposing heads onto different bodies. And apparently the former leader of the white fang and his wife seemed to be an ideal target." Winter buried her face in her hands.

She had to admit, when Jem stole that porno from Whitley, she didn't actually expect it to be Blake's parent's faces. That just seemed too ridiculous, but apparently someone in order to start a smear campaign against them had used their faces, after all, you don't want someone who was in a porn magazine representing your village do you?

"Where did you two go?" Jem asked as both Ghira and Kali looked angry.

"We just…went to go check out contacts…see if they could find anything…" Kali said as they sat back down.

Apparently that was awkward. Maybe they should try to get the focus on something else.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Oh, must be…." Ghira stood up.

"White fang." Jem stood up.

"How did you-" Ghira was cut off as Jem got his rifle.

"Don't worry, I can take care of this." He said as Ghira made a move to stop him.

"Uhm Dad, there's something you should know about the White Fang…" Blake said as Ghira sat back down.

"To put it simply-" Suddenly they were cut off by gunshots.

"WHAT THE?!" They heard a voice say as they ran outside.

"SUCK ON AMERICA'S GIANT COCK!" Jem yelled as they saw he was shooting at the two white fang robe wearing assholes from the show.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Ghira yelled.

"I'll explain later." Jem said as they ran off.

"What the hell was that?!" One of them said as they were hiding behind a wall.

They were just going to talk with Lord Belladonna and next thing they know a crazy redneck asshole starts shooting. Something about 'getting off his lawn'. But it wasn't his lawn!

 **BACK ON EARTH**

"Cheating Bitch…" Jameson said as he was downing a sex on the beach.

He finally graduated from Med School and was now a fully licensed doctor. He went home to tell his wife the good news. But she wasn't expecting him home so early and…welll….

He caught her cheating by being gangbanged by a bunch of furries…..

Yeah, that was a few months ago, he got the whole thing on tape because of the security cameras, and they were divorced, but it still sucked. After all, you can't exactly drown the image of a dog furry barking as he fucks your wife's mouth while another Octopus furry gets her from behind while the rest are waiting to take their turn….needless to say, that image was forever burned in his mind.

To make matters even worse, his sister was currently in California in the land of the hippy/heathen. Which meant he couldn't talk to her. And then his brother went missing in Alaska due to his crazy stalker. So he had no idea where he was. And then he heard his parents house burned down, but they didn't find any bodies. So they were probably on vacation, but they still hadn't come home. He just assumed they had gone on one of their strange off the grid vacations, so he wasn't too worried about them. Either way, he was sad and had no one to talk to.

So he came to the local gay bar, not because he was gay, but because Gay guys were great at cheering people up.

"Sweetie, you got to learn to let her go!" The guy wearing a fur jockstrap and a bowtie said as Jameson nodded his head.

"I know I know, but we were married for FIVE years, and now I catch her with a bunch of furries, do you know how much that sucks?" He said as the bartender gave him a red headed slut shot.

"Sweetie, I was married to the same woman for ten years, only to find out she was going out and getting strangers to pee on her, trust me, furries aren't as bad as watersports." The lesbian bartender said as that was still disturbing.

Seriously, how could anyone get turned on by someone peeing on them? Piss smelled! And don't even get her started on those weird German crop films, who the hell comes up with those things?

"Look, we can help find you a new woman tonight, just relax." The gay guy said as he pointed to the dance floor.

"Look, straight women come to these bars all the time, just look friendly and approachable, and you should be fine." He said as Jameson stood up.

"Oooohh..I don't…..I don't feel so…oh crap." Jameson ran off to the bathroom.

"Ooooh, talk about bad luck." The bartender said as she saw someone sit down.

"Aren't you a little young to be in here?" She asked the recipient as she handed her an ID.

"Ah, okay, what can I get for you?" She asked as the customer gave her a note.

"You want me to…give this to Jameson? Huh, okay. Oh well, should help him get his mind off of that bitch." She said as she walked up to the bathroom door.

"Jameson! Note for you!" She said as she slid it under the bathroom door.

He was currently using the toilet seat as an arm rest. His hand reaching out shakingly to the note. He puked in the toilet bowl,he was a little confused, when did he eat eggs? Because that was what he was seeing in the water. Oh well, this had been a weird night.

He unfolded the note as he squinted so he could actually read it, the handwriting was small and light.

" _Meet me outside, XOXO."_ The note said as Jameson stood up.

"Wonder who it is? That cute lady with the blue hair?" He thought as he walked out of the bathroom.

Only to see the lady with the blue hair currently making out with her boyfriend…great so that was out of the question.

"Hey Barkeep! Who gave you this note?" Jameson asked as she was cleaning glasses.

"A really cute woman, you may be in luck!" She said with as smile.

That did make him feel a little bit better, he knew this bartender, she was one of the hottest women he knew, and if she said someone was cute, then they were cute. He would know, he saw her constantly flirting with people she found attractive, even those who weren't straight, then again….the bartender was very…VERY convincing.

"Hello?" He asked as he walked outside.

"Hello?" He asked again as he took a look around.

"Huh, no one's out her-" He blacked out as he felt a block hit him on the head.

"Neo, don't you think this is a little creepy?" Roman asked as Neo picked up Jameson.

Making sure to get a bit of ass grabbing in while she did. She may have been small, but she was strong as hell and had no problem lifting the much taller and heavier piece of man meat. She smirked as she looked at her partner.

" _Look, it's only fair that we bring him to Remnant, we didn't steal that dust formula for nothing!"_ She signed as Roman just rubbed his face with his hand.

"We're still kidnapping him." He said as Neo shook her head.

" _We're just reuniting him with his family!"_ She defended their possible crime.

"No, you're kidnapping him because you want to bang him." Roman pointed out as she blushed.

" _There's more to it then that!"_ She wasn't such a slut that she would kidnap him for sex!

"If we're organizing a family reunion, why not get his sister too?" Roman pointed out as Neo glared.

"… _..Shut up…."_ She said as Roman just sighed and decided to go along with it.

That guy was going to have so many questions when he woke up.

It was then that Roman grinned. Jem's family thought that Neo was a little girl, imagine what would happen to his brother when he found out Neo was a grown woman? And had a crush on him?

 **Back on Menagerie**

"You can't be serious." Ghira honestly wasn't having any of it.

"Look I know this sounds weird, but trust me, those two flaming bags of cock shafts are working for the enemy. You already know Adam Taurus is a douche nozzle, well they're working for him, it's that simple, and there's this weird chameleon faunus on the island that is spying on your house." Jem tried to say it without sounding crazy.

But considering that they just saw him shoot at two Faunus, and then proceeded to sacrifice a cow…yeah apparently his Grandmama asked him to slaughter a steer for her, but apparently he did a Norse ritual sacrifice.

When questioned, he simply said he always wanted to perform one….

Those poor cow faunus who got to witness it…

Luckily Grandmama comforted them with food…food made everything better.

"I'm sorry, but do you really expect me to believe that you're some sort of interdimensional traveler who is from a world where ours is a tv show, in which you write fan made stories for it, and that you're here to save us from some great evil? All while having these strange misadventures?" Ghira pointed out the absurdity of the concept.

"Okay I admit the concept is far fetched, and a bit stupid, and to be honest, if this was a fanfic, it would probably be written by some nerdy guy in his basement with no girlfriend or boyfriend, so he proceeds to get his kicks off by pleasing a bunch of people on the internet he will never meet because his own life is so meaningless, and he has such a tiny pe-"

 **BBBBBBBBBRRRRTTTTT**

Suddenly a scratchy sounds was heard as everything froze.

"BRO?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON MY LAPTOP!" An angry voiceover said as they heard laughing.

Apparently this story has been hijacked by the authors older brother. Who was now proceeding to make fun of him. And after all, who could blame him? I mean, you had to be very lonely to have to insert yourself into a fanfiction where you're banging a fictional character who is just devoted t

"DAMN IT! STOP IT!"

The sounds of a fight broke out as the two wrestled for control.

"God, what an asshole." The original author said as he got back to rewriting the story.

 **Back to the actual story**

"Okay I admit the idea is…far….fetched….wait…" Jem was suddenly confused.

"Why do I feel a sense of Déjà vu?" He asked as this was just too familiar.

"It's because you're crazy! You can't really expect me to believe you're some sort of alien." Ghira really couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"What do I have to do? Prove it?" He asked as Ghira nodded.

"Yes, irrefutable proof!" Call him a cynic, but he needed some proof before he could suddenly excuse two of the white fang members on this island of being evil!

"Okay…proof….proof…." Jem thought as he needed to prove he was from another world.

Shit…what was he going to do?

"AAHHHHH!" A voice screamed as they looked up.

Only to see a portal open and a large man to fall through the air and land on his face. The resulting blow knocked him unconscious, a young woman floated down on a parasol, a little worried for her crush.

"LITTLE NEO!" Momma yelled as Neo looked back.

" _Oh crap…"_ She said she found herself in a three way hug.

"Oh little Neo! It's so nice to see you ag-….why is my son here?" Dale asked as he noticed Jameson was knocked out cold.

"…Okay….I admit it….you got me…..I believe you…"

* * *

 **NEW POLL ON PROFILE**

 **1\. When Jem's sister is eventually brought in, who should she be paired with?**


	89. Filler

**Well, I'll be honest guys, I've hit a bit of a writers block. And for a bit, I lost motivation to write this story.**

 **But then I remembered some of the plot details I wanted to put in and got my motivation back.**

 **I've also been really busy with school, so that's been taking up a lot of time. Also been adding to my game collection and thrift storing a lot, so that also takes up some time, but I finally got to write this one out. Anyways, this chapter is mostly filler, and I really couldn't think of anything else to put in, so it's short and kind of choppy, but necessary for later plot points.**

* * *

"Jem! What the hell is going on here?!" Jameson yelled as he couldn't believe he had just been kidnapped by little Neo.

Except she wasn't little Neo! As Jem was trying to explain. But in all honesty, Jameson had just gone through time and space with motion sickness and he accidentally threw up on Qrow, which was technically his….would that be his Uncle? Since Jem was his adoptive brother? Oh why did he fucking care?! HE WAS IN ANOTHER WORLD?!

"You mean to tell me Neo is an adult?!" Momma and Dale yelled as Neo shrunk.

She may have been cold blooded and sadistic, but she didn't like disappointing Momma, or worse…Grandmama….The elderly woman looked very disappointed in the young lady.

"So when I saw her taking a picture of me getting out of the shower, it wasn't because she was playing with it and accidentally walked in on me?!" Jameso yelled as Neo blushed.

Okay, so she was a bit of a pervert, but she couldn't help it! Jem's brother was hot as fuck! And he looked even better now that he was growing his beard out.

He kind of looked like Manu Bennet in Spartacus….so many muscles, such a big-

NO! BAD NEO!

"Yeah basically, and my fiancee is part of a rich family, RWBY and JNPR are two teams tasked to fight monsters, and the white fang is still a terrorist group, but at least they're not furries." Ghira gagged a bit at that.

When he heard his once noble group had turned to violence, he was angry. BUT when he heard there was a group in another dimension which was violent because some humans didn't like their idea of costumed animal sex…he almost threw up.

That's not what the white fang was supposed to be! That's not what it was supposed to be at all!

"We trusted you little Neo…" Grandmama said as Neo now felt like shit for making Grandmama sad.

" _I swear to Oum! I never meant to hurt you! Please don't shut me out!"_ If you were to tell Roman that Neo would be begging someone for forgiveness a week ago, he would have laughed.

But this wasn't just someone, this was Grandmama. You don't mess with Grandmama.

"How can we ever trust you again?" Grandmama said as Neo gulped.

" _I brought Jameson here?"_ That only caused Grandmama to sigh.

"Only to further your own pleasures of the flesh, you didn't do it for us." She said as Neo felt like an anvil of guilt was being placed on her.

She remembered the time she kicked the shit out of Yang on that train in Mountain Glenn. She remembered the time she stole ice cream from a Toddler, she remembered the time she put superglue on Roman's pubic wax strips, and she never felt any guilt from any of that. But now, with this elderly italian woman staring her down, all she could do was feel the guilt of every single criminal act she had ever commited.

" _PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I LOVE YOU! DON'T SEND ME AWAY!"_ Neo hugged the elderly italian woman's legs as Roman just stared slack jaw.

" _Wow, I have never seen Neo like this before, if she ever acts up, I'm calling in Grandmama, because holy shit this is amazing! Oh my oum! She's crying! NEO IS CRYING! Oh thank Oum for scolls! I am so recording this and cherishing it for the rest of my life."_ Roman had an evil grin on his face as he was looking forward to giving Neo crap over this.

"….." Grandmama was silent, pondering what to do with the midget woman.

Neo looked Grandmama in the eyes, with a pouty look, her eyes filled with tears, hoping that her child like appearance and cute demeanor would help win the elderly italian over. The woman remained stone face as she tried to figure out what to do with the girl.

"…..One chance, you have one chance at redemption, if you don't follow through, I cast you out…do you understand?" Grandmama asked as Neo shook her head visciously.

"Good, There is a viscious Grimm Bull out in the wild, I would like you to kill it and bring me it's meat." Grandmama said as Neo nodded.

" _Sure! No problem, just let me get my para-"_ Grandmama held up a hand.

"Without your weapon." Okay, now that was something to be worried about.

 **Blaze and his women**

"At least we got to cook up those Grimm Crawfish." Blaze said as they cooked them up Cajun style.

"You almost get your dick snapped off, so you talk about how appetizing the Grimm were?" Luna said as she sucked the meat off.

The meat off the crawfish…..Perverts.

"What better way to get back at something for attempting to cut off your junk then to eat it?" He said as Vixen was greedily sucking on her crawfish.

Blaze had made it to port, unforturnately it would be awhile before he was in Menagerie, but it was okay. The ferry they took had an option for parking your car so you had a vehicle to take onto shore when you made port, and he rented a nice room with a big bed for him and his two lovely lady friends.

Damn, if he never went home again, he would be happy. After all, he was living his biggest sex fantasy, and there was nothing better. Two women who would sleep with him and cook for him? It was awesome! And of course their personalities were fantastic, but in life, he thought with two things.

His stomach and his dick, and usually the second sometimes stirred him in the wrong direction. Just ask anyone of his ex girlfriends, his dick could be a source of pleasure, but more than once it got him in trouble.

The point is, don't ever stick your dick in crazy.

" _I'm gonna cut your dick off and wear it around my neck like a witch doctor!"_ He flinched as that memory flew into his head.

Yeah, he was not on the best terms with all of his ex girlfriends.

"Hooonnneeey, I have an itch you need to scratch!" Luna called as she and Vixen were on the bed.

BOING!

Okay…his dick wouldn't lead him astray now.

"CHAAAARRRRGGGGGE!" He yelled as a cavalry horn went off.

 **Cristofer**

Cristofer was officially insane, after being beaten, broken, caught in an explosion, having to force his way to get tickets onto this stupid ferry, than having to hide in the ventilation shaft when some passengers recognized him from the fugitives list, he now had to stay in the ventilation shaft as he listened to some asshole having sex down below.

"OH YES! STICK IT THERE!" A woman's voice yelled out as he got more and more frustrated.

"Ugh! I told you! Not so fast! Put it in slowly at first!" Another woman's voice yelled as he heard the sound of a man chuckling.

"Sorry ladies, I just can't control myself around you two." His voice was muffled by the walls.

"I….hate….my….life." Cristofer wanted to kill everybody on this boat.

Add that onto the fact that he was practically being treated to free phone sex, and he could do nothing to relieve the pressure, he was very pissed off.

 **Meanwhile at the Schnee Mansion**

"I'm sorry…could you repeat that?" Jacques didn't believe what he was hearing.

"Did I stutter? I said I want a divorce." Willow said with her arms crossed.

Jacques was honestly surprised, he knew his 'wife' and he used that term loosely was unhappy with their marriage, but he never actually thought she would file for divorce, most of the time she spent her days drinking away. But now here she was, handing him divorce papers with a lawyer and bodyguards in tow. Apparently the bodyguards were for if he tried anything.

"I'm sorry, I can't let-" He was cut off by her.

"Sorry, I already filed for it, the lawyers have confirmed it, and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it Jacques." She said as Jacques was getting angrier.

While he would be glad to be rid of his wife who had been making him miserable for the past twenty years, especially constantly poking fun at his small dick, he couldn't let her divorce him for one simple reason.

He married into the Schnee name, and while he may have built the company into what it was today, if Willow was to divorce him, she would inherit half of his company/stock/business, as was usual with divorces, and if that were to happen, she could not only damage his own business, but also start her own, one that would possibly be more favored by others than his.

He wouldn't deny it, he knew he made some decisions that pissed other people off, but they couldn't afford to not be partners with him because of how vast his company was, if Willow was to leave, taking the Schnee name with her, and possibly starting her own dust business, he would have to claw his way back to the top.

"I'll see you in court." Willow said as she walked out.

She smirked, for the first time in years, she had stood up to Jacques, granted she would have to wait to see how the divorce went out. But one thing was for sure, she would be free of Baby Dick Schnee eventually.

And hopefully find Big Dick Branwen somewhere out there…..

Oh if only she had met him earlier in life, she had no doubt she would have been happier. Granted both had a penchant for drinking, but considering how the two of them almost seemed to be completely compatible when it came to sex, it cut out the drinking.

Still though, she was no slut, her cheating on her husband was a one time thing, and after being sexually frustrated for that many years, with an asshole husband, tarnishing your family name, you tended to get a little pissed off.

So hopefully the divorce would work out in her favor.

"I wonder how Winter is doing? It would be nice to be able to talk to her and Weiss once this is done…Hmm…and I wonder how her and her little fiancee are doing by now?" Willow thought as she walked back to her room.

After she got a bottle of wine of course, hey she may be getting a divorce, but she still enjoyed wine, give her a break.

 **In California**

"This state sucks!" Sherry said as she couldn't believe how much it sucked here.

Sherry was a young woman with pitch black hair and darker skin due to her being half apache, mostly because she was adopted by her parents the same as her brother, then again, they told her at a young age, where as they didn't tell her brother until he was already a man, so she had time to adjust and accept it. Besides, you can't exactly explain to your daughter why her parents look like tall pale leprechauns while she looks like an Apache Warrior Princess. But back to the story.

She now knew why her brother disliked California so much, or as he put it, he liked the land, he just didn't like the people. And apparently he must have been talking about the people of San Francisco, because these people were weird as hell.

Since she had been here, she had to deal with green peace people driving around in giant diesel vans, and not seeing the irony of what they were doing. To those crazy hippies trying to bomb gun stores. Seriously what the hell was wrong with some of these people?

"Oh come on Sweetie! It's not so bad! We may have our crazies, but so does every state!" Her friend Taniqua said as Sherry looked around.

"I just saw a guy throwing a hissy fit over the fact that he spilled his starbucks coffee, and before that I saw a grown woman break down in the grocery store because her coupons were expired…." Sherry had never seen that stuff back home.

Then again, according to her brother, she had never been on his campus, he saw that kind of stuff there everyday.

"Yeah, but we got nice weather, beaches, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Pizza topped with eggs! Come on, you got to admit its not so bad!" Taniqua said as she held up a piece of pizza.

Okay, Sherry would admit, the food was good, but at the same time, it was way too easy to make fun of this state.

"Anyways, I'll be glad to go home, my state may suck too, but at least I'll be back home in the familiar cold." She said as she missed the cold weather.

"Eeeww, how can you stand being that cold all the time?" Taniqua hated snow, so why would anyone want to go back to it.

"It makes you tougher, and I prefer cold weather to warm weather." Sherry saw her friend roll her eyes.

"Whatever floats your boat, meanwhile I'll stay here in my warm state away from all that snow." She said as she took a bite of pizza.

"Well, until then, let's go hit up a burger joint, I'm still hungry and this pizza isn't enough." Sherry would admit, the food was almost convincing her to stay.

"FURRY SUPREMACY! FURRY SUPREMACY!" She looked outside to see the white fang protesting again.

"….Yeah, never mind, I'm going home…." She said as Taniqua shuddered at the hate group outside.

"You know….people didn't use to mind Furries, but then the white fang came and screwed everything up." Taniqua couldn't believe there was actually a group dedicated to committing acts of terrorism in the name of sex.

"And for some reason they're more prominent in California than anywhere else." Maybe THAT was the reason why her brother hated California.

After all, when a furry tries to screw you without permission an tries to collar you, you start to develop a phobia, and come to think of it, he didn't use to have such a problem with California until AFTER he broke up with Tigerstripe.

Wait…she was from California…

Oh…now it all made sense. **(1)**

* * *

 **(1) I'll be honest, California is not my favorite state, but I won't say I hate it, it's just so easy to make fun of in this story, same with my own state.**


	90. Beach Filler

**Sorry I haven't been as frequent with my updates, but school and work is taking up a lot of time. And I've been trying to write the next chapter for Endless possibilities.**

 **Anyways, this chapter was kind of weird for me to write, mostly because again, it's pretty much filler until I can get to the funnier stuff I plan on writing, so eh I don't know. Feels off to me.**

 **Also the poll is still up, I will close it next chapter, so far the results are...**

 **Torchwick: 26**

 **Taiyang: 16**

 **Oobleck: 5**

 **Glynda: 5**

 **Ironwood: 4**

 **Promiscious: 4**

 **Klein: 1**

 **Port: 0**

 **So if you still want to vote, might want to before time runs out.**

* * *

"FURRY POWER! FURRY POWER! FURRY POWER!" A group of bear furries were currently yelling at the top of their lungs and expecting people to pay attention, kind of like a college protest, except not as dumb.

"Jesus, do those guys ever shut up?" Sherry said as she couldn't believe this was happening.

"What are you doing?" Taniqua said as she looked up from inspecting her new tattoo.

Taniqua had recently gotten back from a school trip, they were spending time amongst samoan tribes, and unforturantely or forturnately depending on who you asked, she got drunk and woke up with a Samoa tattoo, luckily it wasn't so bad since she was half samoan on her father's side, but still, it was awkward when you had to get used to a tattoo you didn't intend on getting.

"I'm calling the plane company, I'm getting out of here before these furries go nuts and start attacking people." She said as Taniqua looked over at the furries.

"You sure it will go that far?" She asked as Sherry deadpanned.

"Taniqua….the furry white fang got SO bad in my own state, that the local KKK group and the local black panther group actually bonded over their shared hatred of furries, They got over their own differences and worked together to fight against FURRIES, trust me, the white fang is dangerous." She remembered when she was visiting home when the white fang had started to become more prominent.

Do you know how weird it is to see former white supremacists talking and drinking with former black panthers like they're old friends? The white fang was uniting people in their shared hatred of furries, but they were also attacking buildings, burning down buildings, attacking people who didn't agree with their views, what kind of people did that?

"…You know..maybe I should go with you." Taniqua said as she saw furries start to have sex in the street.

"Oh…Oh god…Oh NO!" She yelled as she looked away.

"You sure you want to come with? I thought you hated the cold?" Sherry teased as she made sure not to look towards the furries.

"Considering I just saw a man in a bunny suit start humping the shit out of a bison furry, I think the cold is the least of my worries." She tried to get the image out of her head, but she couldn't.

"Yeah, unforturnately, the plane tickets needed to get back home are sold out, so unless some weird ass explosion/deus ex machina takes us somewhere, I doubt anything is going to happen, why don't we just go back to our hotel room?" She asked as Taniqua nodded.

"Yeah, but first, how about some more burgers for the trip back? We need it after dealing with these idiots." She said as they ordered a few road burgers.

They had no idea their lives were going to change.

"IMMA GONNA DRILL YOUR LITTLE RABBIT HOLE!" A furry yelled as Sherry resisted the urge to throw up.

 **Menagerie**

"Was it really wise to send Little Neo to fight without her weapon?" Jameson kind of felt bad, even if she was a bit crazy.

"Of course not! She wants to prove herself to us! She needs to go through a trial!" Grandmama was deeply offended over Neo lying, so she needed to redeem herself.

Jameson had to admit, he did feel a little flattered that Neo had a crush on him. But at the same time it was a little creepy, he did think she was a little girl for about a year, so even IF he somehow managed to gain feelings for her, he would have to get over the whole 'she's not really a loli, so it's okay.' Problem. Because right now, he still saw her as a little girl, and he was no pedophile.

Jem had honestly been laughing abou this whole situation, Neo was kind of like a stalker, who knows what she was going to do to his brother. Either way, if they had kids, would they be small or big? He shook his head of the thoughts, what were the odds of them actually getting together?

And then he remembered he was dating someone who was practically a princess, maybe it wasn't so unbelievable after all.

 **KLUNK KLUNK KLUNK**

"H-H-Huff" They heard the sound of someone breathing heavily as they turned to the doorway.

There was Neo, she was covered in blood, slightly bruised, and she was hauling a Grimm Bull by the back legs. It was dead, and it's meat was right there for everyone to enjoy.

"Well well, you did alright." Grandmama said as she put her hands on Neo's shoulders.

"I forgive you." She said with a smile as Neo felt like she got a gift from god.

"BUT, since I know you're an adult, that means no more pampering for you." Neo felt her mind shatter at that.

"Which means you'll still get a fair share of food, but we can't feed you sweets all the time." Her heart shattered.

"You'll have to eat healthier." The shards were stabbing into her chest.

"You'll have to help in the kitchen." That wasn't so bad.

"AND! As punishment for lying, no ice cream for a month." Neo felt like crying when she heard that.

" _NOOOOOOOO!"_ She loved Grandmama's homemade Neopolitan ice cream! It was much better than any name brand!

"Now, got get washed up for supper, I will not have you sitting at my table in those bloody rags." Grandmama said as she ran off to the kitchen with the bull.

Neo sighed as she tore off her bloody shirt. A sight that did not go unnoticed by Jameson. Who couldn't believe what he was staring at. Neo may have been small, but her body was rather curved in all the right places, from her nice abs, to her surprisingly ample bubble butt, going all the way to her nice perky br-

"NOT A LOLICON! NOT A LOLICON!" Jameson yelled in his mind as he couldn't see Neo as an adult.

This was going to be a looooonnnng night.

 **Willow  
**

"Uuugggh, I drank too much." Willow said as she was really starting to regret drinking that much wine.

She had cracked open a few more bottles of the rare vinyard. Mostly because she was determined to drain Jacque's wine supply and collection before she left this place for good. So far she could only handle three, and while she regrets what she did afterwards, there was no turning back.

She smashed the rest of the bottles on the ground and ran away. Now here she was in a five star hotel being waited on hand and foot. She was just getting back from her Spa treatment, in which they had free wine, so she was regretting it because she was feeling quesy, too much wine will do that to you, especially when it's free.

"Thank Oum those lawyers work fast." Her filings for divorce had gone through, and now began the process of actually going through court.

She knew it would take awhile, but the thing was she felt free. Before she was content to just drink in the gardens and let life pass her by. But now here she was, with a renewed sense of self worth, and ready to start a new chapter in her life.

All because she had sex with the man Winter hated most.

"How ironic that we both went for a Branwen…." Willow shrugged her shoulders.

"Hmm, who will Weiss end up with I wonder?" She thought as she saw a picture of Weiss and her team.

"Hmm, that Ruby girl?" She knew Qrow was the girl's uncle.

"No, pretty sure Weiss isn't a lesbian, especially if her diary with entries about Neptune are anything to go by." Willow rolled her eyes as Weiss had forgotten her diary at the Schnee mansion.

So, having nothing better to do, she took it and read it. She had to admit, she was not expecting her daughter to be a bit of a pervert. But she blamed her daughter's fuanus teammate for that. Not because she was a faunus, but because Blake had lent her daughter some smut books….she was a corrupting force.

Then again….Willow did sleep with what would be her future in law…but…they weren't blood related, so she guessed it was okay? She wasn't sure. But then again, she didn't really care, because the D was Gooooooooooddd.

Was that the kids spoke these days? She wasn't really sure, her tv had been on some weird channels lately and she didn't understand a lot of the lingo. What the heck was Dustflix and chill? That sounded like a reasonable pastime, nothing wrong with watching a movie and chilling with friends.

Or what the heck did thirsty mean? And why were kids treating it like it was a bad thing? Wait, being thirsty was a bad thing, meant you weren't drinking enough, but why did kids seem to think it was something sexual?

"I am out of touch with pop culture…" She said to herself as there was so much she didn't understand about this generation.

Twerking was certainly an odd thing, and no self respecting lady would do that to herself. Then again, Willow had just slept with a drunk guy because she was sick of her husband, but that was besides the point. What was with kids these days? With their play boxes, and their scrolls, and their hula hoops, and their video games, and their jumping jacks, oh god, she was starting to sound like her dad.

"Would you like some more Wine maam?" The room service guy asked as she waved him off.

"No, just please call the masseuse." She really was ready for a massage.

"Of cours Maam." He said as he walked off to go fetch the lady.

"Well, one thing is for sure, I'm enjoying myself more in this moment then I did in the past twenty years of my life." She said as she looked over herself in the mirror.

She may have gotten older, but the one thing Jacques hadn't taken away from her was her beauty, even with age, her breats were still firm, her abs were still there, her butt was still nice and firm and grabable. Overall, she had a killer figure for a woman of her age, she smirked as she knew that her body no longer belonged to Jacques.

She was going to have so much fun with her newfound freedom.

 **At Menagerie**

"Well, this was a great idea!" Ruby said as they all decided to go down to the beach while Grandmama was busy preparing dinner.

As it turned out, she didn't have the proper spices, so she had to go down to the local store and see if they had it. They did, but now she was haggling for it because the man who was in charge of the store that day said it was a special spice that they had to import, which meant they had to raise the cost. But Grandmama would not pay such an absurd price, so now they were in a battle of 'who can annoy who the most'

"You know, I'm not surprised you have a swimsuit like that." Jem siad as he pointed to Ruby's one piece.

"What? Whats wrong with it?" She said as Jem was chuckling.

"It's got Zwei on it." He said as he was laughing at the corgi face staring back at him.

"Hey! I thought it was cute." Yang said as she came out in her bikini, after all, she was the one who picked that out for Ruby.

"How did you even find one with Zwei on it?" Jem didn't know how.

"Oh, there's a guy who had it custom made, you can get anything you want on a swimsuit." She said as she laid down on a towel.

Weiss meanwhile was applying a ton of sunscreen and suntan lotion as she was in one of those fancy high society swimsuits, Jem honestly didn't know what to call it, but it looked like it was meant to be modest wear.

"Ugh, I can't believe how hard it was to find a suit in my size." Jem heard Winter's voice say as he turned around, and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

It was in Winter's size, but oh lord did it look tight on her. It was one of those one piece suits, but it wasn't a full body one piece, instead you had the part that covered her breats, and as it went down, it got narrowed and narrowed, cupping her nether regions until it went around to the back, which came up in a hip hugger style, with an open back and the straps going up to her shoulders. Damn this was something entirely new, from the way her breasts seemed to be perfectly cupped by the top, to how the bottom seemed to cling to her hips, almost like it was hugging them, it was really-

" _CHAAAARGGGE!"_ A voice yelled in Jem's head.

" _No! Not now!"_ He yelled internally at his penis.

" _Are you insane?! This is our moment to strike!"_

" _Not in front of all these people! For god's sake! My cousins and my parents are here!"_

" _Bah! Who cares, do you not see what's in front of us?!"_

" _BRAIN! PUT MY DICK DOWN!"_

"… _Fine, just this once, but next time we tap that!"_

" _Could you try and be a little less crude?"_

" _Oh please, if any one of your nerd friends had this oppurutnity, they would seize the day!"_

" _That's besides the point!"_

"Jem? Are you okay?" Winter asked as she kneeled down in front of him, giving him a perfect view of her breasts.

" _Oh Jesus and Odin, I swear to god this woman is trying to mess with me."_ He thought as he once again had to calm his dick down.

"U-U-Uhm, you look…amazing!" He said as he had to resist the urge to glomp her.

"Really? You seem a bit flustered, you've seen me naked before, yet this gets to you?" Winter was honestly confused.

"Yeah I have, but come on, wearing something like that, and you expect me to not have a response?" He asked as she winked.

"I will admit, it was kind of funny seeing you blush like crazy, either way, there is still one problem." She said as she stood up to her full height as Jem was sitting on the ground.

"What?" He asked as she looked down at him.

"You're not dressed for this." She pointed to his jeans and his jacket.

"I…don't do well in sun." She saw how pale his body was.

"I get that you're white as all get out, but I'm fair skinned too and you don't see me having qualms about wearing this." She motioned to her suit.

"I'm even paler than you." He pointed out.

"Oh pish posh, come on, off with the clothes." She said as she handed him a suit.

"Why does my suit have a wolf on it?" He asked as he flashed back to Tigerstripe's weird furry fantasy.

"It was all they had left that would fit you, go on, go get changed." She motioned him towards the beach house changing rooms.

"Fine…" He said as he knew how this was going to turn out.

" _Hmmm, hmmm."_ Neo was down at the beach too, Grandmama had given her permission to go and now she was sitting there making a sand castle in a multi colored bikini.

Meanwhile, Jameson was helping her make the sand castle because she asked him to. And…he was trying not to stare.

" _I'm not a pedophile! I'm not a pedophile!"_ Once again, he still couldn't think of Neo as being a grown woman.

Even if she had perky breasts and a nice round- NOOOOOO!

" _Cold water…Cold water!"_ He yelled internally as he poured some over himself from the bucket Neo had sitting around for helping mold sand.

" _Ooooooohhh Myyyyyyy Ouuuuuummmm."_ Neo thought as she stared at his glistening muscles.

It didn't help that his long hair was draping over his shoulders, with all of his muscles being shown off like he was Jason Momoa as Aqua man, she smirked as she realized that Jameson had no idea what he was doing to her.

"Okay! I'm out!" Jem yelled as Neo turned her head.

" _AAAHHH! Did I just stare into the sun?!"_ She yelled in her mind as she felt instantly blinded.

"DAMN! You weren't kidding!" Yang said as she put on her sunglasses.

"How is anyone THAT pale?!" Even Weiss was impressed.

"It's like sunlight being reflected off a mirror." Winter couldn't believe it, Jem was much…MUCH paler than her, and it only became more prominent when he was in direct sunlight.

"See? This right here is why I don't go to beaches often." He said as light was reflecting off of him like snow.

"Hey, you get to see your fiancee in a swim suit, quit your complaining." Qrow was currently nursing his injuries from Pa and Ma.

"THE BEACONS OF GONDOR ARE LIT!" Ruby yelled as Jem rolled his eyes.

"Woooowww, so original." He hadn't heard that one before.

"You're so white, even Dracula is concerned." Blake added on.

"Okay I get it."

"Did you not want to go out in the sun in fear of bursting into flames?"

"I'm not a vampire!"

"Might as well be." Weiss knew she had fair skin, but damn, Jem made Ed Sheeran look like a tan surfer dude.

"…Can we just focus on something else?" He said as Yang grinned.

"I saw this in a show once and wanted to try it!" She said as she pulled out a watermelon.

"…You got to be kidding me…" He said as he knew what was about to happen.

"Really? Watermelon smash? Are we in some sort of ero anime now?" He asked as Winter walked up.

"What is that?" She asked as she had never heard of this game.

"Basically, one person is blindfolded and has to destroy a watermelon with a big wooden stick while the other people lead them in the wrong direction, I don't know, I saw it in one show once, but I turned it off because I thought it was hentai." Jem didn't really know the basics.

"Yep! But we don't have a stick, so going to have to get it with your bare hands!" Yang said as Jem rolled his eyes.

"I'll go first!" Jameson said as he needed to get away from staring at Neo.

"Joy." Jem said as he decided to sit back and watch the show.

 **Blaze**

"Oh wow, How did you do that with your tongue?" He asked as Luna and Vixen were currently cuddling by his sides.

"You learn a lot of things from the internet." Vixen said as she yawned and was ready to go to sleep.

"Excuse me sir?" A voice on the other side of the door said as they heard a knock.

"Yes?" Blaze yelled as he couldn't get up to answer the door since both girls had their legs wrapped around him.

"We'll be arriving at the port soon, we have about ten minutes until you can get off." The voice said as Blaze was confused.

"Wait, I thought we wouldn't be making port to the north side of Menagerie for a few more days?" He was confused.

"The ship is having engine problems, you will be transferred over to a new ship to complete the journey." The man said as Blaze groaned.

While he couldn't really complain since it meant more time for him to spend with his lovely faunus girlfriends, at the same time he really wanted to see Menagerie. But, sometimes things got in the way.

"Well, how about we all get dressed and get out?" He said as Vixen and Luna nodded.

"We could really use some food before we go." Vixen said as their stomaches started to growl.

"I agree, let's hit the buffet line on the eigth deck before we dock." He said as they all got dressed and left the room.

 **One hour later**

Cristofer woke from his sleep, in reality he had passed out due to blood lose because his nose kept bleeding due to hearing the sounds of sex down below. He hated being stuck in this place, he was laying in a puddle of his own dried blood, his dick was in pain due to not getting any release, pretty much giving him a wicked bad case of blue balls, and to make matters worse…he was stuck in this damn ventilation shaft.

"But….at least those three left down there…" He said as that was a relief.

He wouldn't have to listen to the sounds of sex anymore! Thank god!

"Okay ladies!" A new voice said as he heard the sounds of equipment.

"Geez Mr. Thrush, this is where we're going to shoot the new video? It looks like it was just used?" A woman's voice said as she heard a laugh.

"It's okay! The people in this room already vacated the room when they got on a new ship! Leaving us alone to film in peace!" What was going on down there?

"Alright ladies, are you ready to be stars?" He asked as Cristofer heard the sound of giggling.

"Yes sir Mr. Thrush!" He heard the sounds of someone getting into bed.

" _No…it can't be!"_ He was praying it wasn't what he thought.

"Okay ladies, we have our actresses, and we have our director! Time to start filming 'Filthy Faunus Five: Anal Tails!" The director said as Cristofer screamed internally.

" _AAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"_ He screamed in his head as he realized a porn movie was being made down below.


	91. Frustrations

**So I found some free time to write this due to a class being cancelled, so here we go.**

* * *

"So, I put this on and try to smash the watermelon?" Jameson asked as they blindfolded him.

"Pretty much! I saw this in a anime once!" Blake said as she was helping Yang.

"Blake, you sure that wasn't Hentai?" Jem asked.

"Shut up!" Blake knew that Jem knew she was a bit ofa hentai addict, and she hated how he blackmailed her with that.

"Daddy, whats a Hentai?" Nala asked as he looked at her.

"You-" He started but she groaned and cut it off.

"Never mind, something I don't need to know about until I'm thirty, I get it." She said as she got back to making a sand castle with Neo.

Jameson adjusted the blindfold so he really couldn't see anything, there, now he didn't need to look at all the jailbait in bikinis. Seriously, why did all these huntresses have amazing figures but have to be too young? I mean, he assumed some of them were eighteen, but he didn't know. So until it was confirmed, he just assumed they were jail bait. And that was a safe strategy.

"Okay, so where is the wooden sword thing?" He asked as he was certain that was needed to play this game.

"We don't got one, if Nora plays, its best she doesn't have a weapon to swing around."

Jameson shrugged as he started to move around. He felt Yang push him off to the side, he needed to correct his balance, okay she only threw him a bit off course, so there was no way that they could have done much to get the watermelon away.

"SPLASHY SPLAH!" Nora yelled as she drenched him in ice cold water.

"AAAHHH!" He yelled as he turned around and ran in the direction after Nora.

"Wait…..Damn it…" That was their plan.

Great now he needed to find his way back to the damn watermelon. Only problem was he had no idea how far he ran, or in what direction. So how was he supposed to find his way back? Okay, calm down Jameson, just think, how manys steps did he take?

He started counting back, he was pretty pissed off when he tried to run after Nora. So maybe he took about thirty steps before he got off course. So he turned around and took thirty steps before he turned north again. Okay, now he was certain he was on the right track. He smelled the air, hoping he could smell the watermelon. But all he could smell was sea water and sand.

"I don't like Sand…its coarse and rough and ir-" He was cut off by his brother.

"You are not quoting attack of the clones while we're at the beach!" Jem yelled as his brother groaned.

"Why are you complaining, you actually LIKE the prequels!" Jameson pointed an accusing finger, even though he couldn't see where it was.

"Hey, I'm not saying they were good films, but you got to admit they each had a redeeming quality, for Phantom Menace it was the pod races, Darth Maul, and Qui gon jinn. For Attack of the clones, it was the clone army and Count Dooku! Do you know how cool it was that Count Dracula was playing Count Dooku?! And we got to see Jango Fett! He was awesome!" He yelled back as everyone was looking at these two like they were crazy.

"And then Revenge of the sith had the bad ass mustafar fight, along with General Grevious, and we finally get to see the Darth Vader suit! Come on, don't you think that's worthy of a bit of praise?" Jem asked as Jameson laughed.

"No, because I can destory those movies with two words." He said as he chuckled a bit.

"Jar jar." He said as Jem flipped him the bird.

"And I can save it with one name, Samuel L Jackson." Okay, Jem was just trying to distract him.

"Okay, Watermelon, Watermelon, find me a watermelon." Jameson was back on track.

He smelled something! It smelled Sweet and nice! That had to be the watermelon!

"GOT CHA!" He yelled as he dived forward into the sand.

"Ha I got…..huh?" His hands felt something weird.

"Weird….was this watermelon supposed to have two lumps? They feel a bit strange." He said as he squeezed the two lumps with both hands.

"Uh…Uh…." He heard a soft moan.

"Wait….that doesn't sound like a watermelon." He said as he could hear Yan and Jem laughing.

"Jameson….take off the blindfold." Jem didn't know how to stop laughing.

Even though Jameson was a bit scared of what he was going to see, he took off the blind fold in one quick motion…..And then he felt like a total creep.

Laying down in the sand right underneath him was Neo, his hands on her breast giving them light squeezes as her hair was sread out over the ground as he mounted her waist. A deep blush on her face as she avoided eye contact with him. And then the terror started to build in his mind.

"OH GOD! I'M A PEDOPHILE! I'M A PEDOPHILE!" He yelled as he ran to the changing hut.

"I'M A PEDOPHIIIIIILLLLLLLE!" He yelled as he took a cold shower to wash his sins away.

"Uhm…Neo…you okay?" Nala asked as she looked at the short woman spread out on the ground.

" _Hooo Hoooo! Never better!"_ She thought with a blush and a smile.

Now THAT was awesome. Although it was a bit of a disappointment that Jamesn still couldn't see her as a grown woman. She huffed in frustration, did she look like she had the body of a child?! She may be petite, but her body looked amazing!

"WASH MY SINS AWAY!" Jameson yelled as he was crouched down under the shower head.

" _This is going to take longer than I thought."_ Neo thought as Yang came over.

"So….how did that feel?" Yang asked as Ruby yelled.

"Yang!" Ruby couldn't believe her sister could be so perverted.

" _Awesome."_ Neo said as she readjusted her bikini top.

How did she get him to see her as a woman?

 **Blaze**

"Oooohhhh." Blaze sat up from the back of the Jeep he was using.

Vixen and Luna were truly insatiable. Probably from years of not being able to satisfy themselves due to working in a strip club that didn't like their extra bits. Either that, or they just really liked Blaze. Either way he was cool with it. Even if he did feel sore afterwards.

"Oooh." Vixen said as she was trying to untangle her hair.

"I think we went a little too rough that time." Luna was trying to crack her back.

"I just realized something." Blaze couldn't believe he had forgotten about one very important thing.

"What?" Luna was hoping it wasn't something bad.

"When I was brought here, I came with about four other people, a dog, and my tiger, and I have no idea where they ended up." Blaze couldn't believe he was out having sex when someone was possibly in danger.

"Didn't you say one of your friends was a detective?" Luna asked as he sounded like he could handle himself.

"Yeah, but he was also a little crazy." Ms. Penny growled in agreement at that.

"I'm sure he's fine." Vixen tried to comfort him.

"Yeah, he's a detective, so I'm sure whatever he's doing, he's making the world a better place." Luna and Vixen both gave him a smile.

 _ **Cristofer**_

"GAAAAHHHHH!" Cristofer was currently visciously masturbating in a separate room.

He had finally gotten out of the venilation shaft and broke into a separate room on the cruise ship. In which he whipped out his junk and started to beat it like Chris Brown. He had been stuck having to listen to a random couple have sex, then he had to be exposed to a lesbian faunus porno, he was NOT a happy camper. But now he could finally relieve himself of this foot long bar of steel that was bothering him so.

"Okay, need a tissue, need a…Oh shit!" Cristofer realized something about the bathroom.

There was no tissue, or toilet paper, or even towels he could use, which meant he was probably going to get his seed all over the walls. And if they found his semen, they could find his DNA, and they know he would be here! He couldn't risk detection, he needed to do something!

"There's got to be something I can d-" He cut himself off as he looked towards the wall.

And he saw an open port hole. He took one look down at his penis, then back at the port hole. Penis. Port hole. Penis. Port hole.

"Oh screw it!" He said as he got a chair and stuck his junk out the window.

"AAHHHHHH!" He felt his entire life force leave his body.

 **Meanwhile out on the deck**

"Ahhhh, it's nice to be able to relax." Emerald said as Mercury and her were on vacation.

"Yeah, tell me about it, after that whole shit show, I need it." Mercury had his shirts off with his swim pants, this was the life.

"Yeah, almost nothing could go wrong." Emerald said as Mercury smiled.

"Yep, for once it's a normal d-" Suddenly a warm white substance hit Mercury in the eyes.

"AAHHHHHH!" He yelled as whatever it was hit him, and it stung like crazy.

"WHO THE HELL SPRAYED SUN SCREEN IN MY EYES?!" He yelled as he started backing up.

"Wait! Merc! Don't!" Emerald tried to stop him.

But it was too late. Mercury fell over the railing and down in the water.

"AAAHHHHH!" He screamed as Emerald winced as she heard him make contact with the water.

They were about a hundred feet up in the air due to the size of this ship, and he also unforturnately landed in a belly flop. That had to hurt.

"MAN OVERBOARD!" She yelled as the crew got to work saving her partner.

Man, Mercury could not catch a break.

Meanwhile back in a random room. Cristofer was laying on the ground in bliss. He didn't care if he was forced to sit through so many people having sex, it was all worth it for that one blissful tug at his John Thomas.

"Ahhhhhh, that is the best feeling in the world." He said as everything felt right, nothing could ruin this moment.

"And this will be your room for your, WHAT IN THE WORLD?!" The maid said as a couple shrieked at the half naked Mexican laying on the floor.

Oh, Cristofer forgot he broke into the room.

 **Tigerstripe**

"I finally found you…." Tigerstripe was staring at the group on the beach through binoculars, specifically at Jem who was in a swim suit.

"So pale….so…beautiful…." Tigerstripe stared at his porcelain skin that she imaged being covered in thick fur with a pair of wolf ears on top of his head as she ravaged his body.

She felt a tingly feeling in her woman parts as she licked her lips. But then she growled as she saw the BITCH in her swimsuit.

"There she is, the bitch who violated him, look at her, sauntering around in that suit, thinking that she owns him, oh I can't wait to feed her own heart to her! She will pay for violating my little wolf! She will pay! And then….oh my god look at the kitten!" Tigerstripe gushed at the cute little lion faunus building a sand castle.

"She is so adorable!" She was staring as she saw Jem pick her up and twirl her around.

"OMG! My little wolf adopted a lion! That is so sweet!" She said as she felt her heart melt. Now she knew she needed to get him away from the filty pussy of Winter Schnee. Who knows what evil magic she had cast on him!

"Uhm, do we have to do this? This is creepy as hell." Ilia did not feel comfortable spying on people at the beach.

"Shut up! Do you want us to get caught?" Tigerstripe said as Ilia just backed away.

How did she get caught up spying on people on the beach with some mentally deranged human who thought she was a faunus now? Whoever was in charge of the world must have really hated her. Or just liked messing with her. Here she was, a proud member of the white fang and a useful spy, and yet she was reduced to being a teenage stalker looking after a boy, how creepy was that?

"Ohhhhhh I am going to kill that bitch!" Tigerstripe said as she saw Winter and her little wolf making out on the beach with her on top.

"We can't attack now! You'll give away our cover!" Ilia said as he knew they shouldn't take risks.

"Fine…but later….I'm kidnapping him…."


	92. An Unorthodox Method of Fighting

**So finals week is nearly here, and I've been swamped, so...this chapter is rushed and a bit awkward...and...a bit fucked up...I was on pre workout. I'm back on a 'No alcohol' kick...Also I quit smoking...its been frustrating.**

 **So here we go.**

 **Also the winner of the poll for Jem's siter is Torchwick.**

* * *

"Where is Jameson?" Grandmama asked as everyone sat down at the table.

"He accidentally groped Neo and now he's down in the river praying and having a Faunus priest baptize him over and over again." Jem responded as he got a scoop of italian beef and put it on a brioche bun.

"A priest? Remnant has catholic priests?" Grandmama asked as Jem shook his head.

"Nope, he just took whatever priest he could find and asked him to baptize him. Needless to say that priest was weirded out by the idea of baptism." Jem chuckled at the memory.

His brother was currently begging the Holy Spirit to come in and banish the pedo thoughts, but it wasn't working because Jesus knew that Neo was old enough, and Jameson wasn't a pedo. Of course, it was up to Jameson himself to actually acknowledge that small fact. But who knows when that would happen.

"I should get a motorcycle." Jem thought to himself as he started at the wondrous sight in front of him.

"Why are you staring at my breasts?" Winter asked as Jem couldn't help but stare.

"Are you seriously asking me not to stare when you wear the sexiest suit you could find?" He asked as the sight was wonderful.

"Nope, just trying to annoy you." She said as she stuck her tongue out.

"Cover yourself woman!" Grandmama said as she threw a sweater at her.

"Hey.." She wanted to say something, but she was cut off.

"No immodesty at the table, keep your wondrous knockers out of my nipote's face!" She said as Winter tilted her head.

"But…we're engaged…"

"No excuse! Contain your breasts at the table!" She then set down the final meal dish.

"Now before we begin, I must contend that we-" Suddenly someone crashed through the place.

"MINE!" A familiar voice rang out as Nala was grabbed.

"DADDY! HELP ME!" Nala yelled out as Jem got a good look.

"No…not her again!" He saw it was Tigerstripe, along with the creepy gecko girl from Volume 4.

"LET MY DAUGHTER GO!" He yelled as he gave chase.

"…..What just happened?" Kali asked as she had reached for a bit of tuna.

"….My Son's crazy furry stalker apparently found him again." Dale said as he reached for a bit of steak.

"Shouldn't we help?" Ghira didn't know why they seemed so relaxed.

"Oh don't worry, he's pissed, he'll catch them."

 **MEANWHILE**

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Ilia thought this guy was incompetent, she had never been so wrong in her life.

She assumed that he would be careful so as not to damage the surrounding area, that he would be careful with his more explosive dust bullets. But she forgot one very important thing.

He was an AMERICAN! Which means, fuck your stupid buildings, shit about to get blown up!

"FUCK YOU FURRY!" He yelled as he fired an explosive dust round.

Only for it to miss and hit the local orphanage.

"HOLY SHIT!" Ilia didn't believe the guy was this crazy!

But American Justice had no boundaries! And he didn't give a fuck!

"Awww, look at how much he cares?" Tigerstripe was flattered that he would use such expensive rounds on her.

"HES TRYING TO KILL US YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Ilia was not one to get angry, but this crazy lady brought out the worst in everyone.

"It's okay! We still have his daughter!" Tigerstripe hugged Nala, who was bound and gagged.

"Oooohh, the fun I am going to have with you!" Nala meanwhile to nearly start crying.

Her daddy warned her about pedophiles like this! Who knows what weird shit she was into! Ilia meanwhile was reconsidering her life choices. She had been fighting for the fangs for years, she was a loyal servant, she was looking to eventually be put as second in command, and THIS is what she got? She had to run away from some crazy redneck with a rifle that could shoot explosive dust rounds? This was humiliating! Wait, why was she running again?

Oh yeah, because this was SUPPOSED TO BE A STEALTH MISSION! But noooooo! Tigerstripe had to further her own sick sex agenda! What kind of bullshit was that! Seriously, dumb ass people and their stupid fetishes! Do you know how disturbing it was when Ilia had to deal with Tigerstripe's flirting because she was a faunus?

Oh that was another reason she hated Tigerstripe! Despite being obsessed with her 'little wolf' she was also known as the white fang whore. Being as if she saw you had fluffy ears or a tail, she would immediately try to jump your bones, whether williningly or not. So yeah….she was lucky that Tigerstripe lost interest in her since she was a 'scaley' whatever the hell that was.

Seriously, if it was up to Tigerstripe, she would have turned the white fang from a noble organization into some crazy hyper sex cult! What kind of idiots would do that? Ruin a community like that with oversexualized bullshit that made them all look bad?

"IMMA GONNA BOIL YOUR ASSES IN MOLASSES!" For some reason, Jem now sounded like Sheriff Buford T Justice. And if you don't know who that is, shame on you and your entire family. **(1)**

Nala then spit the ball gag out of her mouth.

"DADDY! HELP!" Nala was still disturbed that Tigerstripe kept a ball gag on her.

She had no idea what it was, but she saw it in her Aunt Blake's school bag, and it scared her.

"Also SWEAR!" She yelled as Jem yelled back.

"Really?! Why did you suddenly decide to start a swear jar?!" He yelled as he was catching up to the tigress.

"My pen pal Violet said I should do it!" She smiled as Jem groaned.

Nala had become pen pals with some other faunus child, he had no idea who she was, and apparently he could never find any records of her, he swore to god, it was almost like she was from another world. But that was ridiculous. A pen pal from another world? Bah, that's dumb.

"Fine!" He yelled as he got up behind Tigerstripe and tackled her.

"GOTCHA BITCH!" He yelled as she dropped Nala and fell on the grond.

"Ooooohhh" She moaned as Jem's arms wrapped around her.

"Wait…..shit…." This was her plan.

"LETS MAKE A CUB!" She wrapped her legs aroud his waist.

"NOOOOOOO!" He yelled as he struggled to get away.

 **SOMEWHERE ELSE**

So Cristofer had managed to get away, for one reason and one reason only. While the people who had entered the room were about to call security on him, his dick came to the rescue and spasmed one last time, enough to blast the poor customers in the eyes.

He actually felt bad for that, but he needed to get away. So here he was, currently on a jet ski that he had stolen from one of the rich guys on the boat. Why did they have jet skis on a boat? What kind of FU money did they have? He didn't know, and frankly he didn't care.

Because for once, since he got here, he was actually having fun! And nothing was going to change that!

"Ahhh, this is nice." He said as he felt the breeze blow against his face.

For once, it was a good day. Or at leats it was…and then the engine went out.

The vehicle stopped in the middle of the ocean….leaving him stranded.

"….." Cristofer went silent.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Now he was pissed again.

 **With Winter**

"JEM?!" She yelled out as Jem had moved way too fast for her, and now she was just catching up.

She had been right behind him when Nala was captured. But he was going much faster and he seemed to be going much crazier than she was. She suspected it had something to do with him wanting to make Tigerstripe pay for her sins. All she knew was that he was pissed and heavily armed.

"Our home is destroyed!" The orphans from the local orphanage said as Winter stopped by.

"Here is a check for the damages." She said as she wrote a check for a million dollars.

She was about to give it to the patrons before a child snatched it.

"No! They'll spend it on hookers and cocaine!" Now that threw Winter for a loop.

"…..I'm reporting this place to social services." She said as she ran back after Jem.

"AAHHH!" She heard him scream as she entered into the fray.

Only to seem Jem with a missing pair of pants, and a nude Tigerstripe who was riddled with bullet holes.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!" He yelled as he had shot her like twelve times!

"Ooohh, darling….so many bullet holes….so many more holes for you to play with….." She said as she started fingering a bullet hole and licked the blood of her fingers.

"….." Winter's mind had shut down over what she had just heard.

Seriously, what the hell was wrong with Tigerstripe? And why was the sad gecko lady banging her head against a tree?

"I hate my job…." Ilia said as she was seriously considering defecting from the fang…maybe live out the rest of her life on a private island? Hell, she would even consider living amongst the humans than deal with THIS crazy bitch.

"Mommy!" Nala yelled as Winter ran over to Nala.

"Sweetie! Are you okay?" She yelled as she untied Nala.

"That woman….she kept….touching me…..she wouldn't stop touching my tail…." Nala said as she hugged the woman close.

Winter felt righteous fury start to boil up, but she knew her daughter needed comfort.

"Don't worry Sweetie….Daddy is going to fix it." Winter knew Jem needed to fix this problem on his own.

"Why does she keep moaning his name?" Nala asked as Winter looked back.

"Erm…Nala…Cover your ears…and your eyes." She said as Nala looked confused.

"Why?" She didn't know why her mommy asked her to do that.

"Just do it….trust me…this is…not something for children." Winter said as Nala nodded and used her tail to cover her eyes, and her hands to cover her ears.

"….Why do all my exes have to crazy or cruel?" Jem thought as he shot Tigerstripe in the leg.

"Ooohhh, if you wanted me on my knees, you only needed to ask." She said with a sultry grin as she crawled towards him.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!" He yelled as she should have died from blood loss already.

"Damn, she's like the furry sex crazed version of the terminator." Winter said as she saw how Tigerstripe would not be deterred.

"Because….true love…never…dies." Tigerstripe said as she reached for Jem's waistband.

"AHHH BAD TOUCH!" He yelled as he smacked her with his rifle.

"Oooohhh, you know just how to get me tingly…" Tigerstripe said as Jem had to resist the urge to gag.

"Jem…why doesn't she have any clothes on?" Winter had no idea why.

"I DON'T KNOW?! I'M MORE CONCERNED WITH HOW SHE IS STILL ALIVE!" Jem took a few steps back and aimed for her head.

"Oh please let this work." He said as he fired a bullet.

Only for her to dodge it and to use her chains on him.

"YES!" She yelled as she stood up, her wounds disappearing.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Jem yelled as he was gagged and tied.

"Healing factor." She said as her wounds started to heal.

"MMMPPPFF! MPPPFFF!" Jem said as he felt the chains reaching for his boxer briefs again.

"Oh…we…are…going…to…have…so…much….FUN!" Tigerstripe made a motion to rip his briefs and his shirt off.

What she wasn't expecting was a punch in the back of the head.

"STAY…AWAY…FROM MY MAN!" Winter didn't lose her cool often, but nobody touched her boyfreind and got away with it.

"HES MINE!" Tigerstripe yelled as Winter activated a glyph.

"Jem…got any explosive bullets left?" She asked as he nodded.

"Sure, why?" He asked as she looked at him.

"I have a plan…and you're not going to like it…." She whispered in his ear.

"NO!"

"It's the only way!"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"If we do this right! We won't have to worry about her anymore!"

"….This is because I yelled out that we had sex in your parents house isn't it?"

"…..A bit….A bit…"

"….You bitch."

Jem took a sigh. He never thought he would have to use his career skills ever again.

"COME! FIGHT ME!" Tigerstripe said as her chains loomed overhead.

"No…" Jem said as he gave the dust bullets to Winter.

He pulled out his Phone and pressed play on his music app. A slow song began to play with a catchy beat.

"Go on." Winter was going to enjoy every second of this.

"This is the dumbest way to fight ever." Jem said as he started dancing.

"It's gonna work." She said as she kept an eye on Tigerstripe.

"No way this is going to-…YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" He yelled as he noticed Tigerstripe was mesmerized by his dancing.

Realizing that he couldn't back out now, he had to keep going. So he started to move his hips as he got closer and closer to Tigerstripe. Thank god Nala wasn't watching. Little did he know that Ilia was actually recording this entire thing. Mostly because she had nothing better to do, and honestly didn't want to help Tigerstripe.

"Hmmmm…" Winter was enjoying the show as she watched Jem from behind.

Okay, this may have been a weird idea, but she knew enough about Tigerstripe to know that she was obsessed with Jem, so this was going to work.

Jem moved closer and closer, his abs glistening in the sun as the sweat he had accumulated from the chase had the effect of making his skin shine like a mirror. Which Tigerstripe found appealing.

"I feel so dirty…" Jem felt like crying because of what he was doing.

There was a reason he didn't strip anymore, because he always like a whore, no matter how good the pay was.

"ooooooohhhh." Tigerstripe unforturnately started to touch her own breasts.

"WAAAHHH!" He let out a light cry as he got closer and closer.

"NOW!" Winter yelled as Jem jumped out of the way.

Tigerstripe was too engrossed in Jem's body to realize that Winter had his rifle, and she had loaded a highly combustible bullet into the chamber.

"Choke on this bitch." Winter said as she fired.

The resulting explosion engulfed Tigerstripe.

She smirked as Jem came running up again.

"Do you think that really helped?!" He yelled as he was currently still in his underwear.

"No, I just wanted to see if you would do it." Winter said with a grin.

"….." Jem nearly felt a blood vessel burst at that.

"Hey! It worked!"

"I'm not your stripper you can whore out!"

"Hey, I knew she couldn't resist you!"

"I'm still traumatized for life!"

"I'll make it up to you!"

"I DOUBT IT!"

"Jeeeemmmmm." A voice came from the smoke.

Jem and Winter turned slowly to see a badly burned figure crawling towards them.

"No….." Jem couldn' believe it, she was still alive!

"You…will…be…assimilated!" Tigerstripe's fangs peered out of her mouth.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" He yelled as he took his gun back.

And vented about four years worth of frustration on his ex.

"GGGGAAAAAHHH!" He yelled as he started to tomahawk the fuck out of her.

SLASH! CUT! STAB! SLASH! CUT! STAB!

"This is for trying to stick that fur butt plug up my ass when I was sleeping" Jem yelled as he gouged out an eye.

"This is for attempting to use that creepy werewolf dildo on me!" He yelled as he gouged out the other eye.

"This is for almost throwing me into an orgy with bear furries!"

"Son…what the fuck?" Qrow yelled as he noticed his son was currently stabbing the hell out of a badly burned corpse in his underwear.

"This is for trying to get me to go VEGAN!" That was the worst offense.

He put the barrel of his revolver in her mouth and pulled the trigger, the result was her head being blown clean off…it was done…it was over…

Tigerstripe was dead….she was finally dead…

"Well, now that its over…" Winter turned her head at the sound of water falling.

"Really?" She said as she saw Jem peeing on the corpse.

"…..Yes…." He said as Qrow spoke up.

"…Why are you in your underwear?" He didn't know the reason why.

"….I don't want to talk about it…" Jem had never been so ashamed in his life.

* * *

 **(1) Watch Smokey and the Bandit**


	93. Out of the frying pan, Into the fire

**So, I was taking a break from studying for finals, my most important final is tomorrow, but this chapter was nearly done, so I had to finish it on my break time. So I hope you all like it.**

* * *

"Oh come on you two!" Jem and Nala were currently sitting by the fireplace underneath blankets sipping hot coco.

"She touched me…." Jem said as Nala nodded vigorously.

"Me too…she was…obsessed with my tail." Nala was creeped out by the scary stalker lady.

After they had gotten back, Jem refused to talk to Winter about what had happened. He was mad at her. How dare she make him strip?! Not just to fight Tigerstripe, but also for her own amusement.

"Why are we getting calls about the orphanage blowing up?" Ghira was having a weird night.

First they found dead hookers in the orphanage basement along with cocaine. Apparently the orphanage while they did house orphans, spend its nights dealing drugs and traffiking prostitutes, both human and faunus. So…yeah, that was bad, and kind of disturbing.

"So, I just realized something." Winter turned to look at Jem's family.

"How did you get here?" She knew they couldn't have just popped in whenever they wanted.

"Well, these damn teenagers invaded our house, we went to go and beat the shit out of them, and next thing we know, here we are!" Suddenly a swear jar was thrown at Dale

"Swear!" Dale groaned at that, it really did irritate him that Nala's new pen pal convinced her to keep a swear jar.

Dale swore by the time Nala was eighteen, she would be able to afford to go to Harvard free of charge with the amount of money him and Jem had already contributed to it.

"Wait…what did they look like?" Winter had a bad feeling.

"Er, some silver haired guy with a pissed off look on his face, some green haired lady, and one bombshell." That got Dale smacked.

"Ow! You got to admit, she was an attractive lady!"

"I don't care, no looking at other women!"

"Come on! I caught you looking at HIM!"

At this Dale pointed his finger at Ghira.

"That's different!"

"Oh it is not! You just have double standards!"

"If the world wasn't full of double standards, we would have no standards!"

"That makes no sense!"

"It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart!"

"Oh now you're quoting 'Oh brother where art thou.'" Dale had enough of this conversation.

Kali on the other hand had her hand on Ghira's knee and was glaring at Momma, marking her territory and letting Momma know that Ghira was HERS. It was actually kind of hot. In a weird way. The only difference is that Jem was a bit disturbed that his mom had a bit of a crush on Ghira…..or maybe she just found him fuckable. He didn't know, nor did he want to know.

"What were these people doing in your house?" Winter knew who Dale was talking about, but why were they in his world?

"Oh, for some reason they were in one of secret passageways that we hadn't used in a while, the weird thing was there seemed to be some dead girl in there, but we figured it was just an illusion right?" That made Winter's blood run cold.

She was one of the few who knew about Ozpin's plan, but she never expected he hid the fall maiden in Jem's house..

Then again…a house guarded by crazy rednecks seemed almost impenetrable.

"….Will you…excuse me while I make a call?" She said as she ran out of the room and got on her scroll.

If her theory was correct, and Amber was really dead…Well…

Lets just say that beating her was going to be harder than a pedophile in a pre school.

 **On the plane to Illinois**

"I am so glad to be going back home." Sherry said as she was now traumatized for life after watching an ox furry butt fuck an otter furry.

Yeah…that shit was never going to leave her mind. Seriously why did they do that in public? It only got worse when the local Antifa group joined in the orgy. Course they didn't last too long because they started crying when the furries started to talk dirty to them, apparently they didn't like offensive words.

"….What the hell happened to my state?" Taniqua couldn't believe what California had become.

She wasn't even one of those conservatives who thought lefties were ruining America….but considering the shit she just saw, she could now understand them a lot more. You know its bad when a staunch liberal considers joining the republican party after seeing a furry orgy.

"I don't know, but maybe its time we give California back to Mexico." Sherry said but then she heard a voice cry out.

"No senorita! California sucks! We don't want it back! You keep it!" The mexican in the aisle seat said as he was on a trip to the US.

"Are you sure?" Sherry asked.

"Si! No no! No California!"

"….You were there for the furry orgy too weren't you?"

"SI! NEVER AGAIN!" Okay that explained why he was so freaked out.

Hell, if North Korea ever tried to invade the west coast, they would see the furry population of California and turn around due to the invasion not being worth the dopamine and resources.

"How long til our plane lands?" Taniqua still didn't like planes.

"About another hour." Sherry was used to the long flights.

"Why didn't we just drive?" Taniqua liked driving.

"Because I don't have my license." It was taken away due to being caught drag racing.

"I could have driven."

"No, last time you drove me anywhere, you tried to take me to the strip club to find me a boyfriend." Sherry rolled her eyes at that memory.

She knew her Dad's advice, never marry a stripper, he made that mistake when he first joined the Air Force, he married a stripper, and ended up getting divorced three years later, and that bitch cleaned him out. And just remember, Strippers work for tips, just because they say they love you doesn't mean shit.

"I'm just saying girl, you really need to find yourself a man." Taniqua was honestly wondering if her friend was a lesbian.

"Look I like guys, but I prefer…I don't know….more girly men." She didn't know how to explain it.

"Like metrosexuals?"

"No, more like, they're still tough, but they're pretty, so its deceptive." Sherry liked that idea.

"Oh come on, guys like that don't just fall out of the sky."

If the two had bothered to take a look outside the plane window, they would have seen a white and orange object falling to the ground.

 **Outside the plane**

"NEO! YOU SUCK!" Roman yelled as Neo had thrown him through the portal to do one thing only.

" _Fetch Jameson's sister! That way I'll have points with the whole family!"_ That was the last thing he heard before she threw him into the portal.

Neo was still hot for Jameson. And she needed to try and butter him all up and get him more excited than Rosie O'Donnell at an all you can eat buffet. Okay, maybe not quite that excited, but it was the thought that counted.

But Neo was going to stay behind in Remnant, so she kicked Roman's ass through the dust portal and sent him through. Which now led to him falling through the sky and..

"AGGGGHH!"

SPLAT!

Oooooh, that had to hurt.

"…Neo…..You….are….a….bitch." Roman said as he peeled himself off the ground.

Now he had to go and find that girl, damn he was not looking forward to this. For all he knew she was some spoiled little rich girl, which if that was the case, he could at least steal her purse. Either way, he was not looking forward to this.

 **With Blaze**

"So this is it?" Blaze asked as they finally arrived.

"It's so nice!" Luna said as they walked out into the market.

"Why does everyone look so much fatter than they did in the show?" Blaze knew everyone here was in fairly decent shape.

But now they all looked like someone had introduced Mcdonald's to Remnant.

"Uhm, Sir, could you ask your…friends to put on more clothes?" A citizen said as Blaze looked at his girlfriend's attire.

They were currently still in their stripper bikinis, but they were both wearing short shorts and high heels. What was wrong with that?

"Why?" Blaze liked them like this.

"Well…there are children present." He looked to see multiple people were currently covering their children's eyes…

And multiple children were trying to peek through their parents fingers.

"Uh, I guess, do you guys have anything else?" He said as they look in the bags.

"We got these!" They pulled out a pair of yoga pants.

"That will work." It was still wanking material, but at least they can't complain about not covering up.

As soon as they changed into the leggings, they continued on their journey, Blaze honestly wanted to see Kali and Ghira, mostly because he was on a mission to see if Blake got her weird smut/erotica fetish from those two in any way shape or form. It sounded creepy, but in all honesty he was way too curious to let this go.

And what do you expect? On earth he was a RWBY smut fanfic author. He was bound to seek out some messed up stuff.

 **Meanwhile with Salem's council**

"….." Salem stroked the arm of Tigerstripe, her head having been blown clean off.

"NOOOOOOO!" Tyrian yelled as he was currently crying over his furry waifu's corpse.

Well that kind of killed the mood. After Ilia had come back with a report for Adam Taurus, she had also brought back the dead body of Tigerstripe. Needless to say, she received mixed reactions.

" _WOOO HOO! THAT CRAZY BITCH IS DEAD!"_ Apparently even Adam was sick of Tigerstripe's shit.

It may have come from the fact that she tried to rape him in his sleep. When he woke up and nearly killed her and asked her why she did it, she only gave one answer.

" _You're Horny."_

That was the only time in his life that Adam Taurus was ashamed of being an Ox Faunus. And frankly it was no wonder that he stuck her with Ilia, he wanted to get that crazy tiger bitch as far away from him as possible.

Most of Salem's council didn't really care except for Salem and Tyrian. Salem because she lost what she considered to be a useful ally and friend. And Tyrian…well…

"I'm going to fix you…." He said as he was currently on top of Tigerstripe's deadbody and cradling what was left of her head.

"….Ew…" Dr. Watts said as he walked in on the wrong time.

Ilia walked forward with the video she had taken.

"If you want, I can give you the footage of her last moments…" Ilia honestly didn't want to see it, it was way too embarassing.

"Thank you…now get out of my sight..and Tyrian, take the body away." Tyrian then proceeded to take the body away to his bedroom, where he had already cleared a spot for it.

Salem sighed and sat down to watch the video, thinking it couldn't possibly be anything too bad.

" _WAAAHH!"_ She saw a nearly naked man almost crying as he was doing a strip tease.

"What in the?" Salem was not expecting to see this.

Why was Ilia recording this? There was no way that this was the actual footage right? Salem figured this most have been her personal camera, and she had ben using it before hand to film strippers. And that was a bit disturbing.

"….The white fang is full of perverts…" Salem mused to herself as it was strange that Ilia had a human fetish, considering she hated humans.

Salem continued to watch the footage, her curiousity had been peaked, after all, there must have been a reason that Ilia was recording this right? So she sat down and continued to stare at the screen. She sighed as she unpaused it and continued to watch.

She could hear Tigerstripe giggling a bit over the camera, wait so this was actually from her fight? Wait a minute…that man, she knew who he was, that was the man that Cinder referred to as that 'crazy, bald, redneck, douchebag' Interesting, he certainly had an…interesting talent.

Salem didn't know why, but for some reason, she felt…drawn to him. The way his face contorted in misery as he was obviously dancing for someone he didn't like. Or was it the way the moonlight reflected off of his alabaster skin. Something was enticing, he was almost as pale as her, but it did nothing to take away from his musculature. Unlike some of the huntsman who often had bulkier muscles, he seemed to be built for endurance. His body becoming more lean and streamlined, rather than too much bulk.

And then the scene changed.

" _THAT'S FOR TRYING TO STICK A FUR BUTT PLUG UP MY ASS!"_ The man screamed in rage as he brought his Tomahawk right down onto Tigerstripes face.

THA THUMP!

Salem felt her heart beat quicken as she brought her hand to her chest. A strange feeling overcoming her as the alabaster man's nearly perfect skin was drenched in the blood of Tigerstripe. Giving him a wild look. She had no idea what a butt plug was, but it didn't sound like he was a fan of them.

" _THAT'S FOR ATTEMPTING TO USE THAT CREEPY WEREWOLF DILDO ON ME!"_ He screamed again as he brought the tomahawk down again, more and more blood caking his face and body.

THA THUMP!

There it was again! What was this feeling? Why was her heart racing, and why did she feel some weird tingling in her body? Almost like she was more alive than she had ever been.

What was this man doing to her?

" _THIS IS FOR ALMOST THROWING ME INTO AN ORGY WITH BEAR FURRIES!"_ Now she remembered his name.

Jeremiah….or as his friends called him..Jem.

THA THUMP!

She felt heat rising to her cheeks, Jem's appearance looked like a wild animal, feasting on the flesh of its prey, the wild look in his eyes promising pain to his enemies. And that…..excited Salem.

" _AND THIS…IS FOR TRYING TO MAKE ME GO VEGAN!"_ The camera zoomed in on him sticking his gun in Tigerstripe's mouth.

BLAM!

"OoooH!" Salem felt a strange sensation in her womanhood as she watched that.

Her hand trailed down lower and lower until...

"Mistress I did what you as-

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Salem yelled as she slammed the door to her room.

"W-What…..is this?" She said as she had never felt so….alive….

She walked over to her bed, laying down and thinking about what she was to do about this Jeremiah character? What was she to do? Meanwhile, Tyrian was horrifed as he saw what his Mistress was doing.

"No…its not possible…" Tyrian couldn't believe it.

He saw Salem's face! He recognized it! It was the face of someone who was going to fall in love, or the face of someone already in love! But who was it? She didn't look like that five minutes ago, in fact the only thing she had been doing was watching the video of Tigerstripe's de-

Tyrian's eyes widened as he came to a horrid realization.

"NO!" He yelled to himself as he started running.

It couldn't be! It couldn't happen again! It shouldn't be happening again!

It was happening again! It was happening to him again!

He ran outside, looking over the Grimm lands as he dropped to his knees.

"DAMN YOU…..JEREMIAH RICHARD COTTOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Tyrian yelled to the sky in anger as he realized what had happened.

Jeremiah had stolen another love away from him.

For that….he would pay.


	94. More Filler

**Okay everyone, I finally got around to updating this, for those of you wondering why Endless Possibilities is taking so long, well I've had a bad case of writers block, and I've been busy since I recently starting the enlistment process for the US Army. So I've been busy.**

 **Anyways, here we go, hope you like this.**

* * *

"It's a great day to be alive!" Jem sang as he woke up the next morning happy as a clam.

Tigerstripe was gone! She was finally gone! Never again would he have to worry about a crazy stalker like that again! Oh it was such a joyous occasion. He had never felt so alive! Knowing that Tigerstripe was dead was like finding out Hillary Clinton lost all over again! It was a great feeling!

"He's certainly energetic this morning." Ghira was actually annoyed with it.

Seriously, he thought Jem was a crazy bastard based on what Blake had told him, but now he was like one of those happy gay drunk gays.

"Young man! There's no need to feel down!" Jem was currently dancing to YMCA by the village people.

Ghira rolled his eyes at the idiocy of the crazy redneck.

"Mommy, why is daddy acting like that?" Nala asked as her swear jar was already full of lien.

Dale was right, she was going to be rich when she was older.

"He's just really happy." Winter had to admit she was pretty relieved that Tigerstripe was dead too.

But Jem was hopping around like he just got told Clinton was going to finally be arrested. She had never seen him so happy. He just kept winning and winning, and it made him feel fantastic! Dale was celebrating with him, mostly due to the fact that they just got rid of his crazy furry stalker, and now they could finally take down the wall around their house.

But they were still going to keep the guard dogs….guard dogs are awesome.

"So feeling better?" Winter asked her fiancee as she pressed herself into his back.

"Never better!" He said with a grin as he was cooking breakfast.

"Got any for me?" She said with a smile on her face.

"Maybe, if you can give me some sugar." She smirked as she gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Now make my breakfast." She said as she smacked his ass.

Wow, this was weird. Usually the roles were the other way around.

"Eeeewwwwww…." Nala hated seeing her parents flirt.

"Oh…crap….I forgot she was there….." Jem said as he looked towards Nala.

"I'll give you a few extra slices of bacon if you don't tell anyone about this, especially Blake." He said as Nala tilted her head.

"….Okay, but why not Auntie Blake?"

"She's a pervert."

"Really?"

"You'll find out when you're older."

"Mmkay."

With that Nala made her way over to the table in the dining room. She sat down next to Kali, who had just been remarking about how the little blond girl was just so adorable. Of course she did have to fight with Momma over who got to sit next to Nala. Apparently Winter and Jem had no control over where their daughter was going to sit. It was a little weird to adjust to. Then again, it was good to see that Nala was getting so much affection, both from a human and faunus.

"I feel like the days are going to get better." He said as Winter raised an eyebrow.

"Except I already told you Cinder has the fall maiden's power." She had figured that out after she heard Dale's story.

Needless to say that was not going to work out well for them.

"Hey come on, Pyrrha is still alive and recovering, Yang is recovering, we're all still alive, and people don't hate Atlas AS much." Jem had to emphasie the 'as' in that sentence.

While most people saw it as a horrible accident that never should have happened, the government knew the truth, that an evil group had hijacked that ship in order to spread fear through the countries and destroy their way of life.

Unforturnately some idiot civilians had managed to come up with a conspiracy theory that it was actually a planned demolition from Atlas to garner sympathy. Which made absolutely no sense at all. But just like back home, some people would believe anything.

"I still can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen to you…" Winter didn't know why, but there was some horrible feeling bubbling up in her stomach.

"Hey, come on, I got the power of good luck on my side, what could possibly be so bad?"

 **With Salem**

"O-O-Oh…." Salem couldn't believe how hot her body felt.

Here she thought she was a lady of the grimm who could feel no emotion anymore, but now her body was flustering like she was a bitch in heat. Why was this happening now? All over some bald homicidal redneck who hated furries and communists? What was this feeling?

All she knew was that she was touching herself like a Catholic priest at a daycare.

 **Back with Jem**

"….Hmm, suddenly I feel like something disturbing just happened." Now Jem knew what Winter was talking about.

But how bad could it really be? It wasn't like he was going to get another stalker in the future. Besides, who could possibly be worse than Tigerstripe? Nobody, anyone was better than that furry! Come to think of it, something came to mind….

What happened to the white fang now that Tigerstripe was dead? He knows she worked for them now, so what was going on? Then again, knowing the white fang and their quest for racial purity, they would probably celebrate Tigerstripe being dead, either for being a fake faunus or a furry, either one would work.

"So you realize we have to go today right?" Winter asked as their vacation was drawing to an end.

"HEEELLLLLOOO!" A loud boisterous voice screamed from outside.

"…That motherfucker….." Jem said under his breath as he recognized the voice.

"Is this the house of Kali and Ghira Belladonna?! Because if so! I'm looking for you!" Jem started walking towards the front door.

"Jem?" Winter was confused.

"Daddy?" Nala didn't know why her father seemed so pissed off.

They heard the sound of a door opening.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" And that was when the punch landed.

"Ow! JEM?!" The voice said as you could hear the sounds of two women screaming and two men fighting.

"You asshole! You left me to fight a bear! And for what?! A cheap lapdance and whiskey dick?!" Nala had her ears covered as she was certain she didn't want to hear this.

"How was I supposed to know you would get mauled by a bear?!"

"BECAUSE I CALLED YOU!"

"I WAS IN THE CLUB!"

"You didn't feel the phone vibrating?!"

"I was more focused on the almost heart shaped perfect ass that was giving me a lap dance!"

Meanwhile Luna and Vixen were watching this scene with amusement. This looked like the scene out of a abbot and costello movie where one was constantly berating the other for being stupid. And it was fun to watch.

"Wait, so how did you get here? WAIT A MINUTE! How are we here on Remnant?" Oh yeah, Jem still had to explain that.

"…Wipe the blood off your face and come inside, I have some shit to say." Jem walked back inside.

"Daddy, who was that?" Nala asked innocently.

"That was a friend of your dads."

"Why did you beat him up?"

"Daddy needed to express some rage."

"Really? Deadpool?

"Hey that was a good movie!"

"It was juvenile swearing and dick jokes."

"That's what makes it good!"

 **Meanwhile with Willow and Jacques**

"….That…..bitch." Jacques now knew how every man in America and Remnant felt when you went through a divorce court.

And your ex wife just CLEANS you out. Seriously, it was a good thing he was rich, otherwise his now ex wife would be just taking all of his shit and leaving him nothing. But obviously she couldn't take everything, that was the benefit to having a mansion, your ex couldn't take all your shit when she leaves. And at least he got to keep the house, the problem was she got to keep a lot of his shit. And chances are she was either going to sell it, donate it, or destroy it.

She had already taken the family portrait and draw horns on his head…

Still though, he didn't imagine that the courts would screw him over this much. Seriously did his wife give the judge a handjob or something? Because he swore to god he thought this was going to be a walk in the park.

Willow meanwhile was stepping into her new car and ready to start her new life.

She had only one mission.

'Find Big Dick Branwen.' And with that she sped off.

Jacques would rarely see her, after all, she got half the company in the divorce, which really sucked balls which meant he was going to have to start over from only half his stock. But he did it once, and he could do it again. And then he would crush that bitches company underneath his boot.

"Father, why did mother leave?"

"Because you touch yourself to those filthy magazines."

"….I assure you they are not mine!"

"You're still getting sent to the oum conversion camp."

 **BACK WITH JEM**

"So wait, you mean to tell me this whole time you were dating Winter Schnee?!" Blaze said as he was nursing two black eyes.

"Yeah, why do you think I couldn't move on? Theres no moving on after her." Jem said as he had an ice pack on his nose as he handed Blaze a beer.

"Mommy…weren't they fighting five minutes ago?" Nala was confused, she thought they hated each other.

"Men sweetheart, they are a confusing species." Winter knew this was how Jem solved arguments with his friends.

Somehow his friends could solve a dispute with fists, and they would still be friends afterwards. She thought it was weird, it sounded like some fight club cult shit. But nope, they were just really good friends who sometimes had arguments.

"Well little Nala, you see, even though my friends and I have our differences, nothing can't be solved over a good brawl and a beer." Blaze said as Jem smacked him upside the head.

"Don't listen to him Nala, in fact, just ignore what you just heard." Jem didn't want his daughter brawling until she was old enough to defend herself. Right now she was still a kid.

"Sorry, I kind of spaced out, Grandmama made me a big cookie!" Nala held up the giant chocolate chip cookie that Grandmama had made for her.

Needless to say, when she found out she had a grandchild to spoil, she was all too happy to bake various treats for Nala. Yeah, Nala felt like the luckiest faunus in the world right now. She had a new mommy, a new daddy, new grandparents, and it even turned out her parents were rich!

Although it was a little weird finding out her dad was an alien from another world. But then again, she didn't care about that! Because he took care of her! It was weird that they had bonded over such a small period of time.

Course, it may have had something to do with her subconscious recognizing Jem as a safety point. And she latched onto him for protection. A girl of only five alone and scared in the world would look for a sense of security, and when a man risked his life to save yours, she couldn't let him out of her sight. Maybe that was why she saw him as her new parental figure. All she knew was that she loved him.

Even if he was a little eccentric.

She had to admit though, she never expected to ever find a family again after what happened to her….but she was glad she did. Never did she think she would have a whole family behind her again. And her cousin Dandy was even allowed to visit! Life was good for her!

Granted, she was a little weirded out by the strange faunus lady with Tiger ears. Seriously what was wrong with that lady?! Speaking of tigers….

"DUDE! YOU HAVE A JUNGLE CAT?!" Jem yelled as he saw Blaze's pet.

"Yeah, I saved her from your crazy ex."

"…That explains the tiger ears….anything else I should know?"

"I have two girlfriends now!"

"…..Dude….not cool…."

"What?! Nothing wrong with polyamory!"

"Not my thing dude, so I'm going to say not cool…"

"Come on, I thought you would be accepting of it!"

"Look I accept that's your thing, your life is yours to live…but to me…its not cool." That just wasn't Jem's thing.

"Fine. Besides, Luna, Vixen and I are in a healthy relationship."

"Which still baffles me, usually if a stripper tells you that they love you, it is not the case."

"Well yeah, but what kind of strippers would quit their job just to go traveling with a bum like me who has no money or resources?"

"Okay fair enough, fine good for you, but I'm a one woman guy."

"I get that bro."

And that was the end of their conversation. They may have had differing opinions about the others lifestyle, But in the end they were still friends. That's how true friends act. Even if you constantly fucked with the other one.

Hey come on, friends have the right to screw with each other.

"OH SHIT!" Blaze yelled.

"What?" Jem said as Nala quietly took a dollar for the swear jar.

She would no longer directly ask you, instead she would sneak up like a ninja and take a dollar from you, mostly because Jem told her it would be good for practicing stealth for hunting and tracking. Apparently he was trying to raise Nala to be either a hunter or a rogue, either one works. And she always left a receipt just in case, that way if it was friends or family, they would understand why they were a dollar short.

"There was one more person with us when the dust exploded!"

"Who?"

"The detective your parents hired to find you! Cristofer!"

"Relax, you're all still alive, I'm sure he's fine, besides, you all landed in major cities, so I'm sure he'll be fine."

 **Cristofer**

"I….HATE….MY….LIFE!" Cristofer was currently laying on the beach after swimming the rest of the way to shore.

After the jetski lost power, he had to paddle using an oar that was somehow attached to it. But then a damn sea grimm had nearly swallowed the damn jetski whole, and he ended up having to swim like hell just to get out of there. And now here he was, on a beach, in god knows where. But he could finally relax.

"I want to go home…."


	95. New Job

**Okay, so I was running a bit low on ideas for this chapter, so I did what I could. Also, I would like to tell you all that Le Mao XXIII and I have done a collaboration on his profile called "It's my turn to feel out of place." I would suggest you all take a look, I guarantee you'll like it.**

 **Anyways, here we go!**

* * *

 **On Earth**

"I can't believe this!" Sherry was currently staying in a hotel.

Apparently her parents house was being rebuilt. It had burned down due to some sort of explosion. No bodies were found, but they were still alive. Mostly because a photo was sent to the local authorities of her parents with a little multi haired girl, and the caption read…

" _We're still alive! We're just on an extended vacation due to….strange events."_ Was what the message said. Sherry thought it was weird…

And why did that girl look so familiar?

" Eh its probably nothing." Taniqua thought as she came out in a parka.

"…Really?" Sherry couldn't believe her friend was cold.

"Hey! I come from a very warm place! This is practically freezing for me!"

"Taniqua…its 69 degrees out…"

"WHICH IS COLD!"

"….Wow, Californians are wimps."

Sherry didn't know what to do. They were staying at the Trump hotel in chicago. It was fairly nice so far. The only problem so far was that there were protesters throwing eggs at them on their way in. Apparently they thought they were spreading love and peace by throwing eggs at people. Eh, she just ignored them, either way the hotel was nice and room service was decent.

But as with all hotels she really hated the time it took for your food to arrive. Seriously what was taking that waiter so long?

 **Meanwhile down at the kitchen**

"Where is Pacquito? He was supposed to work today?" The head chef said as they had food to take up to one of the rooms, but Pacquito wasn't around.

"He's out protesting sir!"

"Then tell him he's fired!"

The head chef needed someone quick, the food he prepared was best served warm, and he hated to see food go to waste because he couldn't get a waiter. Oh well, he supposed he could deliver it himself. Hired help doesn't just come out of now-

"Excuse me? I'm new here, I could take it up." He saw a man with orange red hair and a fancy coat and black pants come out of nowhere.

The head chef looked him over, well, he did look the part. Granted it was a little weird that the man appeared to be wearing makeup. But overall, he looked official. And considering he didn't have any other choices. He figured what the hell? Might as well send him up, especially since Pacquito had just been fired.

"Okay, be careful with the stew, if you spill any, it comes out of your paycheck."

"Yes sir." Torchwich really didn't like how he was posing as a waiter, or room service attendee. Whatever the hell you call them.

He knew that Sherry had checked into this hotel. He still had no idea what she looked like, but he knew he had to kidnap her and take her back to Remnant. God, he sounded like a criminal right now.

Oh wait.

…

…

…

He forgot, he was a criminal! Why did he have a hangup about this? Eh it was probably nothing. His brains did get jumbled from landing on the concrete at the airport. Seriously, he was still going to kick Neo's ass for that. That landing sucked balls!

"Okay, just got to take this up." Roman said as he got on the elevator.

"Morning." He said to the guy standing next to him.

"Morning, having a good day?" The man responded.

"Fairly nice, how about you?"

"Eh, you know, I work on an elevator, it has its ups and downs."

….

….

….

"How many times have you told that joke?"

"Too many, hasn't made one person laugh yet."

"Maybe if you got some new material?"

"I'm an elevator attendant, what other material is there?"

 **Back at the room**

"Wow, this bed is so soft!" Taniqua was sinking into the pillows.

"After that plane ride, I'll bet." Sherry said as she was still waiting for that food.

Seriously? What was taking so long?

KNOCK KNOCK

"Finally!" She said as she was kind of miffed.

Now she wasn't the kind of bitch that would yell at someone because their food wasn't on time. But she was still irritated. Especially they didn't really order much. But she wasn't going to take it on the waiter, last time she was here, it was a sweet old elderly man who was in charge of pushing the cart, and he was so nice that she couldn't stay mad at him.

Besides, if you wait tables or push food carts, you already have enough problems. She used to work as a waitress at the local mexican restaurant, and it sucks when you have to be quick on your feet, as well as try and keep up with the rate at which your customers speak spanish. Seriously, she was fluent in spanish, but she swore to god, some of them didn't even take a breath in between words.

It was crazy.

"Okay what do I o-" Her eyes widened at the man in front of her.

"Your food Miss." Torchwick said as the woman went numb.

"Uhm, you alright?" Torchwick assumed this must be Jem's sister.

The reason being was because he had a basic description of her, well she wasn't a fat girl like he thought. So he was wrong there, then again, she was in a fancy hotel, so she could still be a spoiled rich girl. But now she was just staring at him with a strange look on her face.

"Ooh, do you have my stew?" Taniqua said as she came to the cart and welcomed him in.

"Uh, yeah….is she okay?" Torchwich didn't know why she froze up.

"Oh don't mind her, she's just a little shy." Taniqua smirked because she knew what was going on.

Sherry liked pretty guys who were kind of feminine but also masculine, and this guy looked like her type. Sure the orange hair was a bit weird, but maybe he was irish or something. Anyways, she tipped him generously and he was on his way.

" _Okay, now I got to find someway to kidnap her and send her to Remnant without getting caught or pursued."_ Roman couldn't believe he had to do this.

Just so Neo could have a higher chance of banging Jameson, it just wasn't right.

"Uhm, Sherry? Hello?" Taniqua snapped her fingers in front of the woman.

"You there?" Wow, Sherry was catatonic.

She took a quick look down to the floor as she heard something hit the floor.

"…..Ew…." She turned away and went to eating her food.

She had heard jokes about certain guys being 'Panty droppers' but she never expected to actually SEE it happen.

It was a little weird.

"HOLY…..SHIT…." Sherry blushed as she now had a new target.

Find the cute girly man waiter.

 **Remnant**

"WHEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!" Jem woke up as they were waiting for their ship to arrive.

"What the heck was that?" Winter didn't know why Jem blurted that out.

"Sorry….good dream." He was starting to wonder if that ship would ever come.

"So, you mean to tell me your dad is Qrow?" Blaze couldn't believe it.

"Yes, I know it doesn't make any sense."

"But…RWBY is a fictional show….but then again this is a different reality….so you're telling me Qrow traveled to our world when he was drunk….knocked up your midget stripper mother and came back not knowing what he did?"

"Yeah I know its ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as the fact you're dating two futa faunus strippers."

"….Okay fair point."

"Which seriously, seems like our lives are just parodies for the amusement of other people."

"Well geez, don't have an existential crisis."

"Sorry, but you got to admit, we've done and seen some pretty weird shit."

"I ate a Grimm Crawfish, which makes no sense, because don't Grimm turn into smoke when they die?"

"Grandmama cooked up Grimm bulls for meat."

"…..Are we breaking the laws of physics and reality in this world?"

"Possibly."

"Will you two shut up and get on board!" Blake yelled as those two were just talking all the time.

"…"

"OH now what?!" Seriously, they needed to get going.

"Hey…" Jem asked.

"Yeah?" Blaze answered.

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"

"That's one of life's great-"

Winter smacked both of them upside the head.

"OW!" They both yelled.

"You're not ripping of Red vs Blue." She took her future husband by the ear and dragged him on board.

"….Mommy…why are we here?" Nala asked as she was curious.

"….Dang it…" Don't tell her Nala was going to start that whole RVB monologue.

Meanwhile Kali and Ghira were watching as they all boarded the ship and left. Ghira was glad to be rid of the crazy guy who went by the name of Dale. All he did was clean his guns, shoot at varmints, and talk about how his son would 'Make Remnant Great Again.' Whatever the hell that meant.

"So they're gone…" Kali was feeling a bit sad.

"Look on the bright side, Grandmama is staying with us." Ghira smiled a bit at that.

It was true, Grandmama refused to go with everyone else, she said she had too much work to do. And by work she meant feeding every single inhabitant on this island. Especially since she had been officially hired by Ghira and Kali as a cook, and considering how much Grandmama hated being retired, she happily took the job.

"So now what?" Ghira asked as Kali looked at him.

"You made sure to buy out ALL those magazines right?" She mentioned as he blushed in embarrassment.

"Yes of course…I'm just glad they bought that story about our heads being superimposed onto supermodel bodies." Ghira was embarrassed that they had been on the cover of dirty magazine.

"Good, I still can't believe this happened." Kali was embarrassed.

"…We needed the money…..but yes it's embarrassing." Ghira couldn't believe that they actually agreed to be in a pornographic magazine.

What happened was that menagerie was like any other country, it needed money, but due to having a strict budget, the island did not have enough money to buy resources or secure the mean to harvest their own resources. So, Kali and Ghira swallowed their pride and agreed to pose for a S&M magazine. They were told that their faces wouldn't be shown, and that they could even wear masks. But APPARENTLY, the company decided to market all the pictures. So Ghira spent who knows how long trying to get all the copies on Menagerie before anyone saw them. But there was nothing he could do to buy the ones off menagerie.

"This is embarrassing, what would Blake think if she found out what we did?" Kali was worried about her baby girl.

"She's too innocent to be exposed to that kind of perversion." Ghira wanted to preserve his daughter's innocence.

The thought of her reading any sexually explicit material was heartbreaking to the couple.

"….The weird part was it was kind of fun…" Kali said with a blush.

"Another thing she doesn't need to know…" Ghira scratched the back of his head.

What Kali and him did in the bedroom was to remain secret to them. Who knows what their daughter would think if she found out about them…

 **Meanwhile on board the ship**

"Ninjas of Love: Chains and Kusarigamas." Blake blushed as the new Ninjas of Love book had been released and she secured her own copy.

This was supposed to be even smuttier than the last book! But the best part was that it didn't take away from the romantic subplot! It had everything, action, romance, and SMUT! GLORIOUS GLORIOUS SMUT!

She couldn't let her parents know she read these kinds of book, otherwise her dad would lock her up in her room and send a priest to talk to her everyday to purge her thoughts of the smutty goodness.

Her parents were way too sweet and innocent for this kind of material, she couldn't expose them to this kind of stuff, it would break them.

She shivered at the possibility of her parents being exposed to this….it would horrify them…

She ran off to her room onboard the airship to read in peace.

"Daddy, why did Auntie Blake run off?" Nala asked as Jem picked her up.

"This is another one of those things you'll have to wait til you're older to find out." Jem really didn't want to explain Blake's fetishes to his daughter.

"So where are we going now?" Jem asked as Winter just got done talking with Ironwood.

"Well, General Ironwood is calling all available huntsman and huntresses to assist in finding and eliminating Grimm as well as human enemies." She said as Jem looked around.

"So…why am I here?" He wasn't a huntsman.

"The general heard of your…unique semblance…."

"..And?" He didn't like where this was going.

"Well, he found it fitting that you serve some time amongst us…"

"What does that mean?"

 **LATER**

"Welcome to the Atlas Army!" Winter said as she gave him a private's uniform.

"…." Jem looked down at the uniform.

"So….I'm a part of the military?" He had to admit he was pretty happy about that.

He couldn't serve back home due to being disqualified, but now he was getting another chance!

"Yes, you'll be serving under me for the time being."

"Cool! So what do I do? Infantry? Cavalry? Air defense? What do I do?" Jem was pretty happy he was technically going to be able to serve.

But Winter had a weird look on her face.

"Well….not right away…." She said as she gave him a bunch of stuff.

"Right now you're stuck with doing privates work." She said as she gave him cleaning supplies.

"What?" Jem asked.

"Yeah, and your first job is cleaning up the latrines."

Jem looked down at the cleaning supplies and then back at Winter.

"Daddy?" Nala asked as she noticed the look on his face.

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD DAMNIT!"

 **Meanwhile in another universe**

"HOLY SHIT!" A bull dog with a bandolier of bullets and a red bandana yelled out.

"Will you shut the fuck up?" A rhino in an green army uniform yelled and then winced due to his hangover.

"HEY! I THINK SOMEONE STOLE MY LINE MAN!"

"Come now Gunny, I'm sure its nothing." A bald eagle with a british accent said as he sipped his coffee.

"AR AR AR! Just let it go Gunny!" A seal with a sailor hat said as he clapped his flippers. **(1)**

* * *

 **(1) This is from Rangerup's THE DAMN FEW, I would check it out, it's pretty good.**


	96. Jem Fucked Up

**Okay so this chapter took a bit to write because I'm not officially in the military yet, so I still have no idea how DS insults go. So I asked a few buddies of mine from the Army and the marines to provide me with the best insults they ever heard.**

 **So here we go.**

* * *

"FOR OUMS SAKE PRIVATE! YOU'RE SO UGLY YOU MAKE ME WANT TO THROW DEAD KITTENS AT ORPHANS!" A sergeant was currently smoking the shit of Jem while Winter watched on peacefully.

Jem in the meantime was trying hard not to laugh. He soon learned a terrible lesson. Drill sergeants while being experts at breaking you down physically and mentally, also loved to screw with you. Or As Winter put it.

"They will try to make you laugh, and if you laugh, you fuck up and get to go down and push until you die." That was what she said.

Jem was starting to wonder why the hell he wanted to join the army back on Earth? Oh yeah, he was a patriot. But right now he was getting his ass kicked. He had fought Grimm, he had survived deadly encounters, he even managed to survive a fight with Cinder. But that all accounted for shit, because he learned one very important thing.

Drill sergeant was God. So don't fuck up and piss God off.

"JESUS CHRIST! WHAT IS THAT SHIT ON YOUR FACE PRIVATE?!" The DS yelled as he pulled on Jem's beard.

"It's a beard sergeant!" Oh fuck…Jem screwed up.

"WHAT DIDYOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME?!" DS Screws yelled as Jem realized he fucked up.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME SERGEANT YOU BAG OF ABORTED FETUS CREAM?!" Yet another lesson he got to learn the hard way.

It's always 'Drill Sergeant' not 'Drill Sergeant Sir' or 'Sergeant' in other words. He was fucked six ways to Sunday.

"BEAT YOUR FACE!"

"Drill sergeant?" Jem asked in confusion.

"BEAT YOUR FUCKING FACE!"

Not knowing what to do. Jem did the only thing he could do.

WHACK!

He punched himself in the face.

"….Holy shit, you're so fucking stupid it's no wonder your birth mother abandoned you!"

Okay, that one actually hurt. Probably the first time Jem actually winced at an insult.

"Beat your face means you do pushups you worthless waste of an orgasm!"

"Roger Sergeant!"

"WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?!"

"Sorry Drill Sergeant."

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE CUM RAG!"

"Shouldn't we stop this?" Weiss asked as she was having tea with Winter as they were watching Jem with other recruits on a tablet.

"He wanted to join the military, this is the experience he gets." Meanwhile Jem was currently running with a DS hot on his heels.

"STILL FEEL LIKE CALLING ME SERGEANT?!"

"NO SIR!"

"AND THERE YOU GO AGAIN PRIVATE FUCK UP!"

"Wow….can this get any worse?" Weiss asked as Winter looked at the whole group.

"BWA HA HA HA HA!" She started laughing.

In reality, those were some of the more tame insults that Drill Sergeant had. When she went through boot camp, she fucked up who knows how many times. And the last thing you want to do is not only piss off your drill sergeant but also your senior drill sergeant, you won't like what happens next. And Jem was now getting a taste of it. In reality, he should have been performing well due to his physicality, but the thing was that Jem had been on vacation for awhile, so he had lost quite a bit of stamina, in other words, he may have been in good shape, but he was still a candy ass to them. But he was still thankful for the oppurtunity to serve in the military, even if it wasn't his countries.

There was just one tiny little detail that Winter missed. After graduation, he was SUPPOSED to be assigned to security, in a rather safe position. While he didn't really like that idea, he figured it would make Winter happy. Only one problem, they still had to go to a recruiter. And he was so damn charismatic that Jem forgot to read the contract he signed. Hence, why he was now in the infantry.

" _Shit man, sign here and you get a bonus of 20,000 Lien!"_

" _20,000? ALRIGHT!"_

And…hence the situation now.

Needless to say….Winter was….PIIIISSSSSSEEEEDDD!

Which is why she was finding some enjoyment in his torture.

"GO FIND ME A FUCKING PINECONE PRIVATE!" The DS yelled as Jem ran off to the pine trees.

"Pine cones?" Ruby was confused, not just because of the pine cones, but also the fact that they were watching this all unfold.

"Give it a minute." Winter knew what was coming next.

"Roger Drill Sergeant!" Jem returned with a pinecone.

"ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND! THAT'S NOT MY PINECONE! GO GET ME _MY_ PINECONE!" Jem had no idea how he fucked that up, and frankly he would never know.

"ROGER DRILL SERGEANT!" He ran back to the tree line.

"Are you grinning?" Yang asked as Winter had to hide a smirk.

"I will admit, this is rather amusing." Winter did get some sick enjoyment out of it.

In reality, she didn't just conscript him into the army at General Ironwood's request, she did it because she wanted revenge on Jem for all the Frozen jokes she had to deal with. The amount of times he made jokes about how she was an 'Ice Queen' like Elsa was aggravating. So seeing him get his ass chewed out by a tough as nails Drill Sergeant was fun for her.

"Ah! How about that Private, you found…Wait a second! WHERE THE FUCK IS HIS WIFE AND KIDS?! YOU SICK FUCK! SEPERATING A PINE CONE FROM HIS FAMILY! GO AND FIND HIS FAMILY YOU HOME WRECKING SON OF A BITCH!" DS Screws yelled out as Jem just couldn't catch a break.

His friends warned him that he would be exposed to this kind of shit. But he never expected this.

"ROGER DRILL SERGEANT!" Jem went off to go and find some more pinecones.

"….I love my job…" DS Screws said to himself when Jem was gone.

"I found the pinecones Drill Sergeant!"

"YOU GOT SHIT FOR BRAINS PRIVATE?! WRONG PINECONES! FIND THE RIGHT ONES!" Jem was internally screaming.

"NOW HOLD THE FUCK ON!" Jem stopped dead in his tracks.

"Where are you going private?!"

"Uhm, to get more pinecones Drill Sergeant?"

"OH NO YOU FUCKING DON'T! YOU JUST TOOK THESE PINECONES OUT OF THEIR HOMES! PUT THEM BACK FUCKFACE!"

Where was Nala during all of this, well, she was currently wearing headphones with the soundtrack from the lion king playing as she filled in a Grimm coloring book. It was really easy, considering the Grimm were mostly black.

"How about that Private? You finally reunited the pinecone family." The DS looked down and inspected the pinecones.

And then he kicked them out of the way.

"NOW WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GOING AROUND COLLECTING PINECONES FOR YOU CRAYON EATING MOTHERFUCKER?!" If Jem wasn't already braindead from running around searching for pinecones, he would be completely confused.

"Uh, you told me to Drill Sergeant?" This only seemed to piss him off even more.

"Well guess what else I'm gonna tell you! BEAT YOUR FACE!"

"Roger Drill Sergeant!"

And that was how it would go for the next few weeks for Jeremiah.

 **Cristofer**

"Finally, I caught a break." Cristofer was finally having a nice time.

Turns out the beach he washed up onto was filled with female tribal warriors who hadn't seen a man for years. While he had no idea how they reproduced, he wasn't complaining. Considering that to their tribe, the arrival of a man was a good omen. So needless to say, Cristofer was living large.

Right now he was currently in a natural hot spring just enjoying the fresh sparkling warm water.

"Ah….this is the life…" He said as a head came up from the water.

"I think its finally clean Sir." A warrior in a fur bikini said as Crisofer grinned.

"Eh, maybe just give it a few more scrubs…for me?" He said as she chuckled and went back under.

"Ooooohh, I almost forgive Blaze for getting me involved in this whole thing." He said as he was officially the most comfortable man alive.

What else could feelt his nice?

 **Blaze**

Blaze was currently laying back in bed with his hands behind his head as he looked down.

"You're certainly in a good mood today." He said as two heads popped up from beneath the covers.

"Hey, it's a nice day!" Luna replied.

"And we found a good way to spend it!" Vixen said as they went back under the covers.

"…I love my life…" He said as Ms. Penny was asleep in the corner.

Her master was a pervert, but he was a nice pervert.

 **With Jem**

"PRIVATE BRANWEN! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Okay, what did Jem do wrong now?

"All I did was step on the grass!" BIG MISTAKE!

"THAT'S TAXPAYER GRASS THERE! GET THE FUCK OFF!" Jem immediately hopped back onto the pavement.

"OH NOW LOOK! YOU FUCKED IT UP! TAXPAYER GRASS IS TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUR FAT ASS TO WALK ON IT!" DS Screws said as a female Drill sergeant appeared.

"IS THIS THE FUCK UP WHO IS WALKED ON THE GRASS?!" Oh shit, no Jem had to deal with two.

"THAT'S RIGHT! SINCE YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE FOR THE ENVIRONMENT PRIVATE, WE GOT THE PERFECT JOB FOR YOU!" DS Screws gave Jem a pair of scissors and a ruler.

"Uh, what are these for?" He honestly had no idea.

"WE CAN'T AFFORD A FUCKING LAWNMOWER, GET DOWN THERE AND CUT THAT GRASS!" DS Screws yelled as DS Nuts was tagged in.

"AND THAT BETTER BE EXACT OR I'LL SHOVE A KING TAIJUTU FANG UP SO FAR UP YOUR ASS IT WILL FUCK YOUR SOUL!"

Jem could only think of one thing.

" _What the fuck did I sign up for?!"_

He was starting to wonder if he should have listened to that Air Force recruiter a long time ago.

" _Join the Air Force, we'll treat you like a human being!"_ **(1)**

Either way, his life sucked ass right now.

"DID I SAY YOU COULD STOP?!"

 **Salem**

"I called you all here for a very important meaning." Salem said as her face looked flustered.

"Are you alright Mistress?" Tyrian tried to be polite.

"SILENCE!" She yelled at Tyrian as he slumped in his seat.

"As you all know, our plans were thrown off course by this man." Salem said as a picture of Jem was shown off to the people.

"He looks like a punk." Hazel said as he got rid of the picture.

"How could THIS man be a problem? He looks like he should be on the short bus." Dr. Watts said as he wasn't taking this seriously.

"I will strongly suggest you keep your mouths SHUT." Salem was gripping the table so tight she was cracking it.

They all just assumed that she was angry because they were openly defying her. They didn't realize she was angry for completely different reasons. And frankly, they didn't want to know.

"His family also nearly put Mercury in the hospital, as well as humiliating Cinder and Emerald at the same time." She had heard the stories.

Mercury was mourning his dick for some weird reason, but she knew the story. Apparenlty he did not have a good time on Earth. That didn't mean she didn't laugh at the thought of his dick skin getting torn up on the pavement. Or the fact that a grunt got burned alive because he teased Cinder about her ass size, which is why everyone just chose to stare at her when she wasn't looking, seriously women were so sensitive about the size of their asses.

"So keep in mind, he is a very dangerous individual." If that video of him absolutely massacring Tigerstripe was any indication.

With that pale skin….nice body….blood covering him like he was some macabe masterpiece…NO BAD SALEM!

She shook her head off the erotic thoughts and got back to work.

"So what do we do? Kill him?" Tyrian seemed awfully gleeful at that suggestion.

"No."

" _DAMN IT!"_ Tyrian was pissed.

"Instead I ask all of you to gather what resources and spies you may have and capture him." Now that was weird, why would Salem want someone captured.

"What good is he?" Hazel asked with his arms crossed.

"That man knew about our plans for the fall of beacon before it happened, the only reason we were able to form a counterattack was because of Tigerstripe also knowing that same information. Imagine what else this 'Jeremiah' knows that we can exploit?" Salem had a good reason for this.

She would be lying if she said she didn't also have an ulterior motive of wanting to see this man up front and personal. But they didn't need to know that.

 **With Winter and the group**

"YOU ARE THE REASON I DONATE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD!" DS Screws yelled as Jem was currently being carried by his battle buddy during an exercise.

"Wow, and I thought I had it bad." Jem said as his battle buddy was getting a lot of nasty shit thrown his way.

"You're really pissed at him aren't you?" Weiss asked as Winter scoffed.

"He signed a contract without reading it! He fell for the enlistment bonus! And look where it got him!" Winter said as Jem was getting his ass kicked.

"Well yeah, but maybe it was because he was so excited that he got to join that he didn't care where he ended up?" Ruby tried to defend her cousin.

"Nope, he fell for the enlistment bonus." Winter had seen it happen multiple times.

"So…still going to his graduation?" Yang asked as she nodded.

"Of course, I may be pissed, but I'm not that pissed." Winter still loved her fiancee…even if he was a dumb ass.

"Besides…his punishment doesn't end there…" She got a glint in her eyes.

"…What's that look?" Blake recognized a troll face glint when she saw it.

"I may have requested him to be assigned to me as soon as he finishes his advanced training." The others all looked confused at that.

"That doesn't sound so bad." Yang didn't understand how that was a punishment.

"I'm a superior officer, right now, Jem is my BITCH, I give an order…he follows it…MWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Everyone was a little scared of Winter right now.

"…She is…really….really….pissed….."

 **Back with Jem**

"Hey, something wrong Jem?" His battle buddy asked.

"….I fucked up…."

* * *

 **(1) Back when I was trying to decide what branch to join, I talked to an air force recruiter, and when I asked him what oppurtunities the air force had, he told me 'Do you want to be treated like a human being?'**

 **So yeah, I had to put that in.**


	97. Basic Training Continues and Suspicion

**Yet another day and another chapter. Anyways, kind of just wanted this out of the way, so here we go.**

* * *

Doo do doo DOO DOOO DOOOO

The bugle went off that morning as Jem and his fellow recruits scrambled to wake up. There was just one problem. A very personal problem that Jem didn't know how to deal with when he was in a room with a bunch of other people.

" _YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!"_ He internally screamed.

He was dealing with something that he was hoping he would never get in basic training.

Morning wood.

Unforturnately, he had a very nice dream involving Winter giving him head as a graduation present while also apologizing for conscripting him in and chewing his ass out for not reading the contract. In his defense, twenty thousand lien sounded like a great deal here! Course, she got even madder when she reminded him that SHE WAS RICH. Yeah, needless to say, he was going to be sleeping on a couch as soon as he got out of basic.

" _I CAN'T JERK IT TO MAKE IT GO DOWN! And…OH SHIT! HERE HE COMES!"_

Jem was terrified, here came DS Screws, and his dick was standing out and proud like the manchurian candidate.

"GOOD MORNING SHITHEADS!" Here he came walking this way.

" _Oh sweet lord Jesus and Mighty Odin, if you get me out of this, I swear to both of you that I will quit downloading Clown Porn onto Weiss's computer."_ Suddenly DS Screws was right in front of him.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!"

"… _.You know what, just for that, I'm downloading midget clown pegging porn just so Weiss gets a double dose of eye poison!"_

How did this whole downloading porn onto Weiss's computer start? Well the answer was simple, it was his way of getting revenge on her for threatening him with bodily harm if he made Winter unhappy. Weiss never knew it was him doing it. She only saw the results when she went to go send her school report to Dr. Oobleck.

Which resulted in a very stern talking to. And also a visit to the school counselor, because no way normal people could watch that kind of shit without having some mental problems. Weiss had her suspects, but she couldn't pinpoint who it was. Especially since whoever did it was careful to not leave fingerprints, she had nicknamed the culprit the 'Porn Pillager'

"Drill Sergeant?" Jem knew he was fucked.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PRIVATE?!" DS Screws pointed to Jem's buddy.

Seeing that he was fucked anyways. He decided to just go for broke and do something to really piss the DS off.

"SIR! IT'S A COAT HANGER SIR! NEED TO HANG YOUR HAT?!" Yep…..he was fucked alright.

DS Screws face went red as you could see Satan flash across his eyes. Meanwhile the other recruits were watching in pity but also in amusement. As it turned out, the recruit with only one nut had MASSIVE BALLS!

"YOU…..YOU…."

Jem just closed his eyes, because he knew there was nothing he could do to get out of this.

.

.

.

 **OUTSIDE**

"GO ON! SING FOR EVERYBODY!" The DS was yelling as Jem was currently running around in nothing but his Ranger panties with his morning wood still up front.

"IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE FOR ME!" He was singing as the other recruits were laughing.

"YOU MAKE ME HATE MY MOTHERFUCKING JOB!" DS Screws yelled as DS Nuts was just laughing her ass off.

.

.

.

 **Meanwhile with Winter**

"Winter, don't you think you're being a little too cruel?" Weiss asked as Winter was currently watching this morning's mail call.

"Whatever do you mean sister?" Winter was sipping tea as the Drill Sergeant got ready to inspect the mail.

"Well…I know you sent Jem a huge package full of stuff that you KNOW is contraband….why?" Weiss may have understood why she was mad, but damn, Winter couldn't be THAT pissed off could she?

"Oh my sweet innocent sister, when you have a man who you love but also drives you completely insane, you'll understand." Big sister was going to enjoy everyminute of this.

.

.

.

 **Back to Jem**

"MAIL CALL! PRIVATE BRANWEN!" DS Screws held up a big package.

"Yes Drill Sergeant!" Jem had a feeling this wasn't going to work out well.

"Oh! Seems we have a package for you from 'The Love of your life.' Aww how sweet, you have a girlfriend!" DS Screws knew that Winter was doing this to fuck with him.

And honestly after the whole 'morning wood' fiasco, he was glad to go along.

"Oh shit…" Jem was praying Winter wasn't doing this just to get him in trouble.

"Now lets see whats in this motherfucking box!" DS Nuts took a knife and cut it open.

"HA!" The first item she pulled out was…

A set of fuzzy handcuffs.

"Son of a bitch…." Jem knew that it was going to be worse.

"Well would you look at that! She thinks you're into some weird shit Private!" His drill sergeants continued to dig through the box.

'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" DS Screws dropped something on the round.

BZZZZZZZZZZZ

"IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!" Screws was red in the face again, but out of disgust and embarassment.

Winter had sent him a vibrating dildo.

"REALLY?!" Jem yelled to the sky.

"Man you're into some gay shit private." The sad part was, that was only two items.

"Chocolate syrup? Whipped cream?" It was almost like Winter sent these things just to torture him.

"This can't get any worse…" He said as DS Screws pulled out a magazine.

"WOAH! No wonder she sent you that shit private!" He showed Jem and all the other recruits the cover.

" _Bearded men and Pegging Hens!"_ A female domination magazine featuring masculine guys being dominaed by chicken faunus.

"Damn Son! Seems like we all know who the bitch is here!" Jem felt like burying his face in his hands.

" _What did I do to piss her off that much?"_ He asked as he was certain she still couldn't be mad over him falling for the enlistment bonus.

"Wait a minute! We're not done here!" DS nuts reached back into the box.

"A topical ointment for Chlymydia?"

.

.

 **Winter**

"PFFFFTTT!" Winter spat out her tea.

"WHAT?! I DIDN'T PUT THAT IN THERE?!" She yelled as she only put in sex toys and the magazine.

She didn't put in any STD medication.

" _You want to explain this shit private?!"_ All of a sudden she saw Jem's face get a sick grin.

"Oh no you don't! NO YOU DON'T!" She swore to god if-

" _Drill Sergeant she must have accidentally dropped that in by mistake! After all, the burning feeling can be distracting!"_ OH THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

"Tee hee….Yang…did we do something bad?" Ruby asked as Yang shook her head.

"Hey, we got to help our little cousin out." She said as she was laughing at Winter's face.

The woman in question had told Yang and Ruby about her little plan to embarrass Jem in boot camp. However, she seemed to forget one very important fact. And that was that Jem was family, and she was still only a fiancee which meant that they had to stick with family. So knowing that Winter was planning on screwing with him, they decided to screw with her right back. So Yang went out and bought Chlymydia ointment. The strongest and biggest bottle she could find. And put it in the box before Winter sealed it off to be mailed.

Winter now realized that those recruits now thought she had chlymydia….fuck…

You may ask, how would the recruits know he was dating Winter Schnee? Simple, because the news stations played it over and over again, and Jem was probably bragging to his battle buddies how he banged Winter Schnee.

" _Well Shit Private! You got enough problems!"_

Well…an entire recruit division now thought Winter had an STD…

She would kill Jem…but she brought this on herself….

And she would never know how the ointment got in there.

" _Damn Private, you and that weird lady of yours are more fucked up than a football bat!"_ DS Nuts said as Winter facepalmed.

" _Shit! I heard he's dating Winter Schnee, apparently prim and proper is some sort of weird fetish freak in the sheets!"_

And now Winter would have to personally write a letter explaining the situation…

Never did she think her attempt at screwing with Jem would backfire this badly.

.

.

 **LATER**

"PRIVATE CRICKET! WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A BOX OF USED TISSUES BY YOUR BED AND A COPY OF HIPPO LADIES WEEKLY!" Private Cricket was currently crying as everyone realized he loved those big bitches…a lot.

" _No matter how many times I fuck up, there's always the one guy who is even worse."_ Jem thought to himself as Private Cricket was caught with a hippo faunus porn magazine.

Talk about dependas.

"OUM LOOK AT ALL THOSE DEAD SOLDIERS IN THE TRASH BIN!" DS Screws was currently shoving Cricket's head into the waste backet full of jizz rags.

"YOU COMMITED GENOCIDE YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED MILLION OF SPERM!" DS Nuts yelled as Jem had to resist the urge to laugh.

" _Dude, If masturbation is genocide, does that make swallowing semen cannibalism?"_ One recruit asked as Jem started laughing.

"WHO THE FUCK IS LAUGHING?!"

" _Oh shit!"_ Jem knew he had to stop soon, so he did the only thing he could do.

He punched himself in the nut.

"Koff! Koff!" He coughed out as DS Screws came over.

"What the fuck is wrong with you private?"

"Drill Sergeant! I hit my nut while I was getting off the rack!"

"….Dear Oum Private, you're so unlucky it could be raining pussy outside and you would get hit in the face with a bag of dicks."

DS Screws left leaving Jem to sigh in relief at avoiding punishment for another hour.

"I think I'm starting to get the hang of this." He said to himself as they got into formation.

.

.

.

 **With Sherry and Taniqua**

"You realize this is creepy right?" Taniqua said as they were hiding by a corner as Sherry was looking at the orange haired girly man.

"He's….so…..pretty…" She said as she felt tingling feelings again.

"And we're stalking him!" Taniqua was trying to be the voice of reason here.

"But he's pretty!"

"Sherry, we don't know who he is, for all we know he could be a thief or a criminal!" Taniqua was trying to reason with her friend.

"Please, what are the odds of that happening?" Taniqua rolled her eyes at this.

She had seen enough horror movies to know that white girls would almost always follow something if they thought it was pretty. And worse, the black sidekick always died first, hence why she was trying to get out of this.

That guy may have been cute, but serial killers could be cute too!

"I'm telling you, this could go bad!"

"Why are you so suspicious?"

"Because you're stalking a guy that you don't know, and we're following him into the basement! That's like horror movie cliché number 5!"

"Oh please, you're not really scared of dying are you?"

"You're damn right I am! LOOK AT THIS BASEMENT!" She said as there were chains hanging around.

"That's just for hanging stuff up for storage!" Sherry said as they went deeper into the basement.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? They have blood on them!"

"Keep in mind we're right next to a meat locker." Sherry pointed to a giant meat freezer.

"….That makes it even worse! That leaves the killer a good place to hide our dead bodies! No one will find it weird that there's blood on the ground in a meat locker!"

"You're so silly Taniqua!"

"HA!" Suddenly they both felt something heavy hit them in the head.

"I…..fucking…..knew…it….." Taniqua said as she fell on top of Sherry, her breasts falling on top of her head as they both passed out.

"Damn, I feel like such an asshole…" Torchwick said as he got out a tiny dust bomb.

"Well, come on you two, family is waiting…." He then looked at the girl Sherry had with her.

"But damn, this girl's suspicion game was on point, if I was a killer, that is exactly what I would do."

He threw the dust bomb down and they soon disappeared.


	98. Winter's Personal Private

**Okay, so here we go, another chapter, major time skip because I am not that creative with Drill Sergeant insults, and I already used all the good ones. So MAJOR TIME SKIP.**

 **Anyways, some of the humor in this is based off of three things.**

 **1\. MatBest11x, go check him out, he's awesome.**

 **2\. RangerUp, a veteran owned company that has its own youtube channel, again very funny stuff.**

 **3\. Stories that have been told to me by friends that apparently are not just stereotypes but apparently actually happen when you serve in the military.**

 **The sad part is even me recruiter warned me about strippers close to base, so in other words...yeah.**

 **Anyways, the crossover I'm working on with Le Mao XXIII is going GREAT! I hope you all check it out!**

 **Anyways, here we go, the FINAL chapter of Out of place.**

 ***Record scratches***

 **Er I mean, the NEXT chapter of out of place.**

* * *

"I'll be damned PFC Branwen, you actually made it." DS Screws said as Jem was standing in his new uniform.

"What can I say, when we got to weapons, that was where I shine." Jem scored better than any of the recruits on the rifle range.

After all, he was pretty sure he was born with a rifle in his hands. And his dad had been training him to shoot since he was a kid. So it was only natural that he ended up getting the rifle expert badge. But there was one thing that was different from the basic training of the military on his world.

While most recruits would go to basic training, graduate and then be sent to AIT. Jem went through basic training, and was immediately thrown into AIT for the infantry. So he hadn't seen Winter for a few months now. Well except for the occassional letter she sent with provocative photos trying to get him in trouble. Which he had become an expert in hiding.

And by hiding, he meant he shoved the photos down his underwear. After all, no Drill sergeant was going to reach down and grab his junk looking for something. So needless to say, he still ha the photos. And now he was going to officially graduate, and all his friends and family would be there.

"Just try not to fuck up and make us look bad." DS Nuts said as she passed by.

"So what happens now?" He asked as DS screws looked at the sheet.

"Well, looks like you signed on for Marauder training?" Jem nodded at that.

He found out that the Atlesian Marauders were pretty much the US Army Rangers of this world. So he decided to just say fuck it and try and sign up. There was just one problem.

"It may be awhile before they have a slot for you, until then you've been assigned to Winter Schnee's command."

…..Fuck…..

"But….I'm Infantry."

"Oh you still are, but she pulled some strings to get you under her command."

"….I'm going to be screwed…."

"You're enlisted, you're already screwed." DS Nuts said as they got ready to march in formation to the field where the graduation ceremony would take place.

"SARGE!" Private Cricket came up with a smile on his face.

"What is it?" DS Nuts said.

"Check out what I got when I was off base!" Cricket pointed to the parking lot.

Most of the soldiers were allowed off base for a few days for some RR, however Jem volunteered to stay behind for one reason….DS Screws was still pissed off for the 'Coat Hanger morning wood' joke and made him stay behind and scrub the toilets with a toothbrush. Yeah, he was surprised, he thought that was just a joke in old military movies, but nope, it actually happens. And it SUCKED!

All the new privates looked outside to see a muscle car in the parking lot.

"Oh shit…." Jem knew this was not going to end well.

He had seen enough Ranger Up and Mat Best videos to know this would not end well.

"I walked off the lot with it! Salesman said I got a great deal on it! I mean, I'm still paying 30% interest, but hey! It's practically brand new!" Private Cricket said as DS Nuts shook her head.

"Every…single…..fucking….time…." DS Screws said to himself as there was always one.

One what you may ask? Well, if you know anyone in the military or have talked to anyone in the military. There is always the one car dealership right outside of base where the salesman are like sharks closing in on an bleeding fish. Only in this case, the bleeding fish is the brand new private looking at the muscle car, and who gets honeydicked into buying a car that he has to spend his entire monthly paycheck on to have.

And right now, Private Cricket was that private.

"And even better! I found a nice girl on the outside!" He pointed to the woman who waved towards the base.

"Pfft!" Jem knew who that was.

Based on her attire, she was a stripper.

Wow, Private Cricket fucked up.

"She even said she loves me Sarge! Its amazing!"

"OUM DAMN IT PRIVATE! THE STRIPPER DOES NOT LOVE YOU!" DS Nuts took him by the ear and dragged him into a coat room.

"OW! HEY!"

"….Privates, let this be a lesson to you." DS Screws said as he was addressing everyone in formation.

"I don't care how many times she says it, the stripper doesn't actually love or want you! All she wants is Tricare and BAH! More importantly, whoever was jerking off in the showers, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but the plumbers are getting sick of cleaning your jizz from the pipes….fucking morons…" DS Screws couldn't believe this.

Private Cricket walked out with a black eye, but at least his uniform looked squared away.

"Hey! Where is she going?!" Private Cricket yelled as she noticed the girl he came with riding away on a motorcycle.

"Hey, isn't that the base commander?" Jem asked as his former Drill Sergeants spoke up.

"Shut the fuck up PFC Branwen."

"But let that serve as proof! The stripper doesn't actually love you!"

Jem raised his hand.

"What is it now PFC?"

"Out of curiousity, how many times has this happened?"

"…..Too many times to count, just make sure to avoid strip clubs Brawen."

"I don't like Strip Clubs Drill Sergeant."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm happily in a relationship?"

"What kind of man doesn't like strip clubs?!"

"My birth mother was a stripper."

"…Never mind then , that's pretty fucked up."

"Yeah, hence why I never go to them."

"Anyways, shut the hell up, time to march, Platoon! Half right face!"

And that was the last we heard of that platoon for awhile.

 **Meanwhile in the bleachers in the ceremonial area**

"So daddy is graduating today?" Nala was wearing her ANZAC hat and wearing a 'My dad is an Atlas Soldier' shirt.

"Yes sweetie." Winter said as Nala was sittin in Winter's lap as they waited in the bleachers.

"And you had him assigned to you?" Nala asked as she was hoping to see her dad more often.

"Yes sweetie." Winter grinned both in happiness and with a slight sense of sadism.

"Cool! So what happens then?" Nala knew she had to stay with her parents.

"Well, I'll be his CO unless he is reassigned." Nala tilted her head.

" But what if he ends up outranking you eventually?" She said with an innocent tone of voice.

"HA HA HA! Oh Nala, what are the odds of that happening?" Winter could never believe that IRONWOOD would ever promote Jem beyond a PFC.

What were the odds of that happening?

 **With Salem**

"What is it about you?" Salem asked as she had some of the pictures from Tigerstripes collection.

One of them being a nude photo of Jem that was taken from behind when she broke into his house without him knowing. The point was that Salem did not have to worry about not having anything to look at. Tigerstripe had left a treasure trove full of stalker photos.

"Why do you make me feel this way?" Salem said to herself as she couldn't help but blush everytime she saw the photos of the bearded bald man.

"You're not particularly handsome…." Jem was average at best.

"You have that scraggly beard." She said as the red beard was very prominent.

"But…something about you stirs feelings I didn't know I had." Salem had not felt this way since…well ever.

A lady of the Grimm, who could feel nothing but contempt for humanity, felt uncontrollable lust for a man…a HUMAN man. Not even one of her own kind! That is, if there were any male counterparts of her own kind. The point was she shouldn't be feeling this! The very idea of this happening was astronomical at best!

But…the way he savagely tore Tigerstripe apart, the way he visciously penetrated her with his huge weapon, the way her juices squired onto his body as she was finished off, and the way that he finally shot his load into Tigerstripe causing a massive explosion all over the ground….it made her feel tingly. She never would have thought she had a blood and pain fetish.

"Uhm, Salem, what are you looking at?" Watts said as they were at the meeting table and Salem was starign at a photo.

"NOTHING!" She yelled as she suddenly remembered where she was.

"Are you alright? You were mumbling to yourself…" Cinder said as Emerald was leaning by the corner and Mercury was nowhere to be found.

The reason being was because he had demanded extra time off due to the fact that he spent time in the infirmary due to falling off of the cruise ship and having to spend his entire vacation time in a hospital bed with a fat ugly nurse checking on him.

So now he was currently off doing gods knows what.

But one thing was for sure, he was peaceful.

 **With Mercury**

"No one will get me in here!" Mercury said as he was hiding in an underground bunker.

He had stocked it full of junk food, soda, water, a tv, and various forms of entertainment. Why was he doing this? Because everytime he went out there, bad things happened, his dick skin got ripped off, he got punched by his partner because he accidentally used her panties to clean up his mess during the whole viagra steroid fiasco. He took a massive load of dog shit to the face time, and that's not even counting the time he landed in a pile of Grimm shit when they finally got back from Earth.

And then on the day he was supposed to be enjoying his vacation, he takes some sunscreen to the eyes, and ends up falling off the ship and spending his time with a nurse who tried to molest him while he was sleeping. So now here he was, enjoying his vacation time by himself, with good food, entertainment, and nothing that could possibly go wrong.

"Finally….some time to myself." He said as he went back to reading a magazine.

 **Back to Salem**

"How goes out efforts to capture Jeremiah Cotton?" Salem asked unusually curious.

"Well, he goes by Branwen as well, and he just recently graduated from basic training and AIT and is now a PFC in the Atlesian army." Hazel said as they gave her the file. Which she seemed to grab too eagerly.

"Good, good, and what else?" She asked as she was reading through the file.

"He seems to have adopted a lion faunus for a daughter…" Hazel was honestly surprised at that.

"And seems to carry around a flask that he lovingly labels Mr. Booze….." Watts pulled out another photo.

It was a photo of him holding a fask with a smiley face on it and 'Mr. Booze' written in crayon on a label.

"…Interesting…" Salem had no idea why he did it, but it was good to know.

"It would appear that his semblance revolves around Good Luck, which explains how he was able to beat Cinder." Watts said as Cinder sputtered.

"HE DID NOT BEAT ME!" She yelled in rage.

In truth, he just survived, but Hazel and the others counted that as a defeat because if it was a victory, she would have finished him off, but she didn't. And now he was out there growing stronger. So needless to say, that was a big problem for them.

"I see, any other information?" Salem asked as they handed her another folder.

"Yes, while this semblance is powerful, it does have drawbacks, for example, we know of Qrow Branwen's semblance being the power of misfortune, meaning that his son inherited the opposite, when the two are in the same vicinity, their semblances neautralize each other, and neither fortune nor misfortune occurs." Which could be used for an advantage.

"And?"

"According to Ilia, he has a Grandmother who now lives on Menagerie feeding the local populace….the average weight for a Menagerie resident has gone up in recent weeks…" Suddely Tyrian brought in some food.

"We have samples here!" He said as he wheeled in a cart.

"Why do you have this?" Watts asked in annoyance.

"Well, I was originally going to kill her as revenge for my lovely Tigerstripe, but when I went into the restaurant to kill her, she brought out this magnificent dish, and I just couldn't do it!" Tyrian was telling the truth.

He wasn't usually one for sparing lives, but he made an exception because the food that old lady could cook was too good to pass up.

"…Are you telling us the reason your spy mission took so long on Menagerie was because you were stopping for breakfast?" Hazel's eye twitched.

"Mistress will understand!" Tyrian said as he handed her a plate.

"Tyrian don't be so ridi-" Salem cut herself off as she took a bite of the beef wellington.

"Oh….My….." She said as she held a hand up to her mouth.

"This truly is delicious…." She didn't even need to eat, but this was amazing.

"Meeting dismissed…" She said as she walked out with the cart full of food.

"Ha! I did good! Mistress will surely come back to me now!" The others deadpanned at Tyrian's sense of logic.

"….You wasted a mission trying to win back her affection? From who?" Hazel asked as Tyrian was the only one who knew the truth.

"That dirty scoundrel who took her heart in the first place!" He hissed out.

"You're crazy, Salem's a Grimm Queen, she has no one who holds her heart, don't be such an idiot." Hazel left the room along with the others.

"I ONLY SPEAK THE TRUTH!"

"Yeah right, just go and train Tyrian, we've had enough crazy for one day."

"Nobody believes me! But I speak the truth!" Tyrian said as he formulated a plan to kill Jeremiah Branwen once and for all!

And maybe take his Grandmama as a slave…

Salem however had different plans.

" _Well, one more reason to make Jeremiah Cotton mine…..his Grandmother will make an excellent personal chef…"_ Salem had no need for food.

But right now she would make an exception.

Tyrian hadn't gotten back into Salem's heart….he had merely expanded her interest in Jeremiah.

 **With Winter and Jeremiah**

Jem and Winter were currently kissing after the graduation ceremony. After the whole ceremony had concluded. Jem took Winter and Nala out for dinner, needless to say it was funny to see Winter go to a normal restaurant that was the equivalent of a Remnant Chucky Cheese. But Nala had fun playing guns and earning tickets for prizes.

For some reason she ended up getting a t shirt with the pumpkin petes marshmallow flakes mascot on it. Nala had a strange obsession with bunnies. He had no idea why, but he figured it was because rabbits were delicious. So he just wrote it off as nothing strange.

After the Remnant Chucky Cheese which was named Lucky Leaves. Jem and Winter finally had some alone time together, so they were using it to make up for a few months worth of not being together.

"Wait!" Winter grinned as she leaned back against the desk.

"Take my shoes off." She said as Jem nodded.

"Uhm, okay." Weird, she had that strange look on her face.

"Now rub my feet." She said as Jem looked at her.

"Why would I-"

"DO IT." She said with a stern voice.

"Uhm…okay…." Weird, she never asked for a foot massage before.

"Oooohhhh." She was enjoying this new sensation.

"Now move on to the calves…" Jem had the feeling something was up.

"So uhm..foreplay?" He asked as she shook her head.

"Nope, we're not having sex tonight." That made Jem do a double take.

"WHAT?! After a few months?!" He would have thought Winter would be just as horny as him.

"Consider it your punishment." She said with a sadistic grin.

"W-W-What?" He said with a meek tone.

"Now keep rubbing." She said with her head tilted back.

"Now lets talk about this for se-" He found himself cut off again.

"AS YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER….I insist." Her sadistic grin only getting bigger and bigger.

"….I think this is a gross abuse of power…"

"Too bad…"

"…Fine…" Jem said as he continued to massage her legs.

Winter had found the perfect punishment for him. In reality, they were still going to have sex after this, but Jem would have to work for it.

Needless to say, it was good to be the Queen.

And Jem was just her little peasant boy now.

" _Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."_ Winter was going to milk this for all it was worth.

"Now be a dear and fetch me some jasmine tea, I'm rather parched."

"I don't know wh-"

"Now PFC Branwen."

"….THIS IS SUCH A GROSS ABUSE OF POWER."

As soon as he left the room, Winter turned to the camera and said.

"Ahhh, its good to be a superior officer."


	99. Not Again

**Okay guys, so here we go, another chapter, to think that we're getting pretty close to one hundred chapters. ONE HUNDRED CHAPTERS. I didn't think this story would last twenty. But nope, here we are at 99, and soon to be one hundred.**

 **Who would have thought this story would make it this far? I didn't.**

 **But as long as I can come up with drunken antics, there will always be another chapter.**

 **Anyways here we go, the latest in the story.**

* * *

"How did you manage to get me to serve under you? Doesn't that violate some serious regulations?" Jem asked as they were currently out of uniform and walking around Atlas.

Nice city, nice people, but Jem had to admit, it was a little too big and a little too clean for his liking. But that may just be because he grew up in the middle of a cornfield, so he was just used to wide open spaces. Anyways, the point was, it was a nice place, but it could do well with a few trees here and there. Seriously, bring in some nature to the place.

"Lets just say I gave Ironwood some serious dirt on Qrow." Winter said as Jem couldn't think what that was.

He already knew Qrow fucked a midget stripper, what else could he possibly do that warranted Ironwood paying for information on him? It must have been something embarrassing. Oh well, no sense thinking about it now.

"Well, at least it's a peaceful day today." Jem said as Nala was riding on his shoulders.

"Yes, peaceful…" Winter said as they sat down at a park.

"NAAAALLLLLLAAAAA!" A voice yelled as Nala turned.

"Oh hey Co-" She was suddenly picked up by a very large man with an afro.

"OH NALA MY DEAR SWEET BABY COUSIN NALA" Dandy yelled as he hugged her and swung her around.

"What the? Where did he? How did-…where did he come from?" Jem saw they were in the middle of a crowd, yet he came barging through like a train, where the hell was he?

"OH WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE VISITING?!" He said as he set Nala back down on her father's shoulders.

"We just came for Daddy's graduation!" Nala looked down at her father.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that! Mah dear sweet Jem! Why didn't you tell meh that you joined the army?!" Dandy said with a smile.

"Uh, because I was focused on trying to not make the drill sergeants angry?" What was Dandy doing here?

Luckily Winter asked that for him.

"What are you doing here Dandy?"

"I'm glad you asked! Well, besides the fact that we LIVE here." He wiggled his eyebrows in a smart ass manner.

"We're being asked to put on a benefit concert to help with the victims of the terrorist attack in Vale." Jem flinched a bit at that.

Vale terrorist attack, so they were calling it that. To think it was like watching 9/11 all over again for him…he really didn't like being reminded of it…especially when he saw the news cast about the Vale attacks. But he knew he had to move on, and live for those who couldn't. But damn, it was something you just wish never happened.

"Well that's good." Jem said trying not to focus on the depressing reason for the benefit concert.

"Actualllyyyyyyy…" Dandy got a grin on his face as his Afro poofed up even more.

"We kind of need a guest spot fo-"

"No."

"What do yah mean no?"

"I haven't sang in years!"

"But Daddy, you sang me to sleep one night."

"Awwww, that's adorable!"

"I don't do well on stages!"

"But you were okay with stripping as a career?" Winter glared as she knew Jem used to strip to make extra money.

So obviously he didn't have stage fright.

"Uhm….I have a cold?" He tried to say but Dandy just laughed.

"Come on! It will be fun!" He slapped Jem's back s Jem was plowed into the ground.

"Oops…." Dandy forgot that he was using his robot hand.

"Daddy!" Nala said as she looked at her father.

"I'm okay!" He said as he pulled his head from the concrete.

"Look, I already reserved a guest spot for you anyways!" Dandy grinned as Jem sputtered.

"But…you just found out I was here…" At that Dandy scratched the back of his head and looked away.

"Actually….I may have had a little inside information…" He pointed at Nala.

"….Nala….what did you do?"

"….Nothing…"

"Don't…..lie….to…me…"

"…I may have told Cousin Dandy we were in town and that you never actually finished your competition! So…he came up with the idea and reserved you a spot…" Nala said with a sheepish grin.

"…..What?" Jem REALLY didn't want to do this.

"And what an excellent idea it was! It will be on Sienna Drive, use this pass to get backstage! See you then!" Dandy slid away happily.

"WAIT! I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS!" Jem yelled but it was too late.

"Whats the big idea? Its not like you have to put on a concert." Winter said as he only needed to sing one song.

"Well for one, I DON'T KNOW ANY SONGS FROM REMNANT!" He pointed out as Nala and Winter suddenly went blank faced…

"Oh…" That could be a problem.

"Well, can you play any instruments?"

"…I used to play guitar."

"Good enough."

"I don't have one!"

Suddenly he looked beside him.

"Oh hey dude." It was Neon with a guitar case.

"Neon?" What was she doing here?

"We can hear you arguing from over there, so Dandy made sure to give you one of these." She handed him the case for an acoustic guitar.

"Have fun!" She smirked and roller skated away.

"….Why is everyone screwing with me today?" He suddenly knew what a certain Self insert felt in another dimension.

"Come on, how bad could it be?" Winter asked as Jem sighed and face palmed.

"Okay, well…I do know one or two songs pretty well, I suppose I could do those." He said as he remembered something.

"Although they don't really look like the country music type of crowd…" But it was all he had.

"So, how about we just relax for the next hour, and then you can practice whatever song you have in mind? Come to think of it, what song are you thinking of?" Now that was a question that made Jem Grin.

"You'll have to find out." He said as he was going to keep it a surprise.

"Fine, so what should we do for the next hour?" Winter asked as Jem looked around.

"Honestly, I have no ide-"

"Lets go there!" Nala pointed to a spa.

"…No…" Jem said as she tilted her head.

"Why not?"

"I'm a man!"

"Men can go to spas!"

"I'm not going!"

Winter then decided to throw her two cents in.

"Actually that sounds nice." She said as she started walking towards it.

"Wait! We can't bring Nala in! Don't they have rules that you have to be at least 16 or something?" Winter just gave him a weird look.

"While that is true, that's why they also offer fun activities for kids." Winter pointed out as Nala looked happy.

"They have an indoor water park for kids!"

"….Okay why don't we just do that, that sounds much better than the spa."

"Simple, because you don't want to do it, so we're going in." Winter smirked as Jem caught on to what she was doing.

"…You're not seriously still mad about me being infantry are you?"

"Not at all Grunt, now lets go." She said as she grabbed his hand and led him towards his own emasculation.

Jem grumbled. For gods sake, did he look like the kind of guy who went to spas?

 **One hour later**

"Now wasn't that nice?" Winter felt rejuvenated as she felt her own skin.

"I had fun!" Nala said as she showed up still wet from the water park for kids.

"….What the heck is the point of the cucumbers if you don't get to eat them?!" Jem said as he came out, sure he felt as smooth as a baby's butt, but what the hell was all that nonsense?!

"Its good for your eyes." Winter said as she couldn't believe her fiance actually looked CLEAN for once.

"They're also delicious! And don't even get me started on all the weird stuff they put in my beard!"

"But it looks nice Daddy!"

"Yeah it does, but I'm not going for the nice look! I'm the kind of guy who goes out and chops wood, now…I look like my sworn enemy…" He said with a narrow gaze.

"Furries?" Nala suggested.

"No."

"Tigerstripe?" Winter asked.

"Not her either."

"Cinder?"

"What does Cinder have to do….oh wait that's right, we fought on top of Beacon, no, not even her." Jem finished.

"Then who?"

"…..Hipsters…." Just saying the name brought a bad taste to his mouth.

"Stupid people…taking flannel away from me, do you know how much it sucks when you can actually chop your own wood, but because some hipster stole the flannel and beard look, people always ask you about your caramel frappachino?!" Jem threw his hands in the air.

"…I think you're overthinking it too much honey." Winter honestly didn't understand his hate for hipsters.

"And don't even get me started on the time they took over my favorite irish pub and they took away ALL THE IRISH ALCOHOL!" Now that was an unforgivable offense.

It was true, there was this nice Irish pub Jem used to frequent back in college, nice small place, great place to have a pint and sit back with the boys. But that all changed when the Hipster nation attacked.

Soon Guinness was replaced by micro brews, the dropkick murphys playing on the radio was replaced by some indie band that he had never heard of. And don't even get him started on the fact that they also turned it into a coffee shop!

In Jem's words…

'They will burn in hell for that…"

"….What is it with you and irish booze?" Nala asked as she knew her father liked booze, but he seemed to like the irish.

"Well, for one, the irish know how to brew, and second, I like all kinds of booze, but you don't take over an irish pub with promises that it will remain an irish pub and then take all the irish out of it! That's up there with the seven deadly sins!" Jem explained his logic.

"This is why people think you have a drinking problem." Winter said as she rolled her eyes.

"I don't have a drinking problem, I'm just slightly irish, you can thank….my egg donor for that." Jem said as he still didn't like talking about Davina.

Surprisingly, when he took that whole ancestry dna test, he found out that he was mostly irish and scandinavian, so he was still descended from vikings, but now he also had an explanation for his drinking.

"Isn't it wrong to stereotype the irish?" Nala asked as that didn't seem right.

"Not in the name of humor." Jem finished.

 **RING RING RING RING**

"Winter, that's you." Jem said as Winter noticed the scroll on her belt was going off.

"Odd, why is Ironwood calling me?" Ironwood was supposed to be on his day off.

" _SCHNEE! You got to get back here! Bring PFC Branwen and Nala!"_ Ironwood appeared to be…laughing?

"Uh sir? Are you okay?"

" _NO TRUST ME! YOU GOT TO SEE THIS!"_ Okay this was not right…Ironwood wasn't one for laughing.

Something fucked up must have happened for him to be laughing.

"Understood…" Winter hung up the scroll.

"What the hell was wrong with Ironwood?" Jem was slightly disturbed that he was laughing.

Jem always took Ironwood for the Batman type character who would never actually laugh. Then again, when Ironwood found out Qrow slept with a midget stripper, he couldn't stop laughing. Wait…if Ironwood was laughing, that had to mean something TRULY messed up had happened.

"Oh this has got to be good!" Jem knew he had to hear this.

"I really hope it isn't too serious!" Winter was a little worried.

She had NEVER heard Ironwood laugh that hard.

"ONWARD MY MIGHTY STEED!" Nala said as she hopped back onto Jem's shoulders.

"I'm not a horse!"

"You are now!"

"Fine…."

"Come on Whinny!"

"I'm not doing-"

Jem saw Nala was giving him the pouty eyes.

"….Son of a…..FINE." He couldn't resist those eyes.

"NEEEIIIGGGHHH!" He said as he took off on a run.

"WOOOO HOOOO!" She yelled out in happiness.

Winter just rolled her eyes at her fiance and her daughter, they may have been silly, but they were her family. And she really would do anything to keep them safe. Although that didn't mean their antics didn't make her roll her eyes from time to time. After all, when Nala said she was scared of the monster in her closet, Jem decided to take the Major Payne approach.

 _BANG BANG BANG!_

" _If he's still in there, he ain't happy!"_

She chuckled a bit at the memory, well she may as well catch up with those two. She was curious as to what could possibly be so funny that Ironwood felt the need to call her.

 **With Ironwood**

"Now I understand that you wish to continue your business with us." Ironwood said as the figure nodded.

"Yes, but I will indeed be supplying more than your previous supplier by doubling your budget." The figure said as Ironwood smiled.

"I appreciate the generosity." He said as Winter, Nala and Jem walked into the room.

"Hey General, whats up?" Jem asked as Ironwood narrowed his eyes.

"Er I mean, Good evening Sir, what appears to be the problem?" Jem forgot Ironwood was a CO, so he had to get used to that.

"Much better PFC Branwen." Ironwood did like the fact that Jem could now be controlled.

Granted, he was still a bit of a loose cannon, but he did have his purpose. But the fact that they could actually instill some restraint in him was a miracle.

"But I'm afraid we're short one guest." Ironwood looked around the room.

"But you just called us." Jem was confused, who wasn't here.

"Urgh, Jimmy, why did you call me here? Seriously, I already have enough of a problem curing my hangover." Qrow stumbled through the doorway.

"Geez Dad, I keep telling you, eat some really fatty salty food before drinking, and make sure when you get back home from the bar you get some water in you, and then the morning after cook up a few eggs to help replace some of the vitamins you lost." Jem listed off his cure for a hangover.

"Too complicated." Qrow said as Jem took too many precuations to avoid hangovers.

Granted, Qrow did wish he took some precautions.

"Anyways, what is it?"

"Ahhhh, Darling, how nice to see you again." The figure in the chair spun around.

Jem took a look and recognized her in an instant.

"Hi Mama Schnee!" He waved with a childlike wave.

"I thought I told you to call me Willow?" She asked in amusement.

"Yeah, but you're still Winter's Mom, so it's a habit I need to break."

"Hi grandma!" Nala said as Winter looked a bit taken aback.

She wasn't old enough to be a Grandmother yet.

"Er, hello Nala." She was an adorable girl, but she didn't like being called Grandma.

"Well this is nice, how ab-….Winter? Are you okay?" Jem noticed Winter looked rather pale.

"Jem….look closely…." She said as her breathing was heavy.

"Uhm, why?"

"DO IT!" She snapped.

"Okay, but why-" Suddenly Jem took a closer look.

"Oh….Oh…..OH!" Jem now knew why Winter went pale.

"Huh? Whats going on?" Qrow asked as he took his hand away from his eyes and saw that Willow had walked even closer.

"And how is the father of my future child today?" Willow said with a smirk as she put her right hand on her pregnant belly.


	100. Cursed Sperm

**Well, I had a lot of motivation to write this story, good news, I called up the medical records people, and I should have my actual records to send off to the recruiter soon, which then begins the process for if I'll be approved for a waiver, and then if that goes well, I'll be sent off to MEPS.**

 **Praying it all goes well.**

 **Anyways, here we go.**

 **Also there is a poll on my profile for what Qrows child will be.**

* * *

Qrow was not a man who was easily scared. He believed that fear was for normal people. And he was far from normal. This was how he was so effective at his work. He felt no fear when he fought Grimm, he felt no fear when he fought other huntsman, he felt no fear during the battle of beacon. He considered himself to be the master of controlling your emotions. And nothing had ever been able to phase him. It was something he took great pride in, knowing that unlike some of the people he had met during his lifetime, he at least could control his emotions. He believed no matter what happened, he could control his emotions

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Winter screamed in rage.

This however was the perfect time to be afraid.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Under any other circumstance, Qrow would have fought Winter head on.

But considering that she had grabbed his sword with her BARE hand when he tried to defend himself. Now was a good time to duck and cover.

"I WILL MAKE CASTINETS OUT OF YOUR TESTICLES! AND A BONGO DRUM OUT OF YOUR SCROTUM!" Winter yelled as you could see her eyes with ablaze with Aura.

Jem meanwhile was trying to hold his lady back. And he was failing miserable.

"Now Winter let's talk about-" He was smacked so hard that he went flying into a water fountain.

"HOLY SHIT!" Qrow just saw his son get bitch slapped away.

"YOU WILL SUFFER!" Winter was dragging her sword along the ground.

"No! Winter! I love him!" Willow said as she was trying to hold her daughter back.

Wow, this was certainly a change of situation. Usually if someone got pregnant. It was usually someones daughter, and their father tried to kill the man in question. But in this question, someone's mother was pregnant and the daughter was trying to kill the man in question.

"MMMMMPPPFPFFF." Jem mumbled as he walked over with a large bruise on his cheek.

"Oh my gosh…" Suddenly Winter snapped out of it.

"Jem! I'm so sorry! I was just so angry…" Winter said as Jem made movements.

"Huh?" She asked as he made some more weird motions with his hands.

"I don't understand…" What was he trying to say.

He rolled his eyes and pulled out his scroll, this must have been how Neo felt when she couldn't talk. Suddenly a bzzzing sound went off in Winter's pocket as she looked down to see that she received a text message.

 _ **YOU DISLOCATED MY JAW!**_

"Oh my Oum, I am so sorry…" She said as she placed her hands on his face.

"This is going to hurt." She said as she slammed his jaw back into place.

"OOOOOOWWWWWWW!" He yelled as Nala walked up to him.

"Are you alright?" She asked with concern as he looked at Winter.

"DO you realize that you were SO angry, that when you slapped me you nearly completely depleted me of Aura?" Jem held up his scroll gauge.

Sure enough, his Aura was in the red.

"Oh my oum!" Winter had never been THAT powerful!

"So apparently you hit harder the angrier you get….thats nothing new." Even Nala knew that was basic logic.

You get angry, you hit with fury!

And considering that Jem had taken hits from Grimm and had been fine. Winter must have been burning with enough rage to fuel a hundred suns. Which wasn't that surprising considering that Qrow got her mother pregnant.

"Wait a minute…" She suddenly remembered what happened.

"YOU SICK PERVERTED BAS-" Jem covered Nala's ears at the swear.

"Wait! Winter think of it this way!" Jem was trying to save his dad's life.

"WHAT?!" She yelled as she was tempted to impale Qrow like a catholic priest going after an altar boy.

"Babies…." He said the one word that can make any woman stop.

Suddenly Winter froze, she thought of the future. And holding a beautiful white haired red eye baby, that cooed up at her and called her 'Big sister!' She hadn't felt that way since Weiss had been born!

Jem saw her calming down…

" _It's working!"_ He thought to himself as Winter was slowly calming down.

"Wait…" She said as she thought of something.

"OH OUM!" She suddenly looked weirded out.

"What?" Jem didn't know why she suddenly looked disturbed.

"That child is going to think we're inbred!" Okay, now that confused Jem.

"Okay, in what way?"

Seriously? Why would they think they were inbred?

"Think about it, I'M HIS HALF SISTER, YOU'RE HIS HALF BROTHER….if he finds out both his brother and sister figures are dating and engaged…." Winter trailed off as Jem suddenly grasped what she was saying.

"Woah…its like Game of Thrones…" He said as he could see her point.

"But think of it this way, we were already dating before Dad and….do I call her Mom?" Winter rolled her eyes.

"The weird thing is she's technically going to be my mother in law…but she'll also be my stepmother…"

"WOAH! Stepmother?!" Qrow yelled out.

"SHUT UP DAD! You're marrying Willow and that's final!"

"What why?"

"You got her pregnant! You have to pay the piper!"

"Oh come on!"

"I don't mind…" Willow didn't mind, the sex was amazing.

"Do I get a say in this?" Qrow asked meekly.

"Nope." Everyone including Nala answered.

"….How did this happen?" Qrow asked as Winter glared at him.

"You know EXACTLY how it happened you son of a-" She looked down at nala.

"…Biscuit." Dang, she hated having to censor her language.

BZZ BZZ BZZ

"Oh hey Ruby responded to my text." Jem smirked as Qrow looked horrified.

"You…told Ruby?" Qrow looked worried.

"Of course! She's family." He then started to read her text.

 _ **OH MY OUM! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER COUSIN!**_

The text was attached to a picture of Ruby smiling like a puppy with a piece of bacon, while Yang was cracking her knuckles at Uncle Qrow. And that was when Qrow realized he was going to get his ass kicked again.

Jem decided to text back.

 **HAVE YOU TOLD WEISS?**

The response was almost immediate.

 **NOPE, WE'LL LET YOU TELL HER WHEN SHE GETS BACK!**

"Good thing Mom isn't here, otherwise she would kick the crap out of you for not only sex before marriage but also having a baby out of wedlock." Jem made the sign of a cross as he realized his dad was probably going to get an ass whooping if he told Momma.

"Y-You won't tell her will you?" Qrow could deal with Grimm.

But he already got his ass kicked once by Grandmama and Momma, and he had no desire to repeat it.

"Sure…just propose to Willow."

"W-What? But I don't want to get married!"

"You should have thought about that before pregnancy!"

"You can't-"

CHU CHINK!

Jem pulled his rifle out. Never did he think he would have to force his own father into a shotgun wedding. But here he was. But hey, thats just how it went in his family. You fuck up and get someone pregnant, you have to marry them.

Unless of course the woman in question tried to screw you over, in which case you keep the baby but get rid of the woman.

Anyways, we're getting off topic. Back to Qrow and Willow.

"….Fine…" Qrow walked over to Willow.

"But…my semblance…" Jem waved it off.

"Come on, as long as we're close to the same vicinity, your semblance is completely neutralized, so you should be fine right?" Jem suggested.

"You can't be around me all the time."

"True, but if we're going to be a family, we can take shifts, for example, say you need to go on a mission, Winter and I can help out when you're gone, and then when you visit, as long as I'm around, you can be around without risk of misfortune, besides, you visited Yang and Ruby a lot growing up did you not?"

"Well yeah but-"

"And you also teach at signal around a ton of kids, and you're just fine?"

"True but-"

"And seems like its only small incidents of bad luck right?"

"Well I wouldn't exactly say that-"

"Then its settled, look besides…" Jem smiled.

"I'M FINALLY GOING TO BE AN OLDER BROTHER!" Jem suddenly looked as giddy as a teenager who got a hold of his dads porn collection.

"….Really?" Winter said as she had never seen Jem look like this.

"I'M GOING TO BE AN OLDER BROTHER!" He suddenly ran off.

"Hey random person on the street! I'm going to have a younger sibling! Hi old lady by the trash can! Guess what? I'm probably going to have a younger brother!" Jem was suddenly running around telling every man, woman and child the good news.

"…..Is….Is he copying how it should have ended?" Winter asked herself.

He was known to make references to multiple forms of entertainment in his life, but this was getting ridiculous.

 **Meanwhile on an Island**

"SHIIIITTT!" Cristofer was currently running away.

At first things had been great! He had a whole band of Amazonian women to himself! They waited on his every sexual need! Do you know how awesome it is to have a buffet of women in front of you knowing that you're the only man for miles! It was amazing! But…then something horrible happened.

He ended up knocking up EVERY single one of the warriors. Apparently protection and birth control were completely foreign to them. But that wasn't the worst of it. As it turns out, he now knew how they reproduced.

Every two decades, a man tended to wash up on shore, the man was taken into the tribe and fed, bathed and pleasured beyond his wildest dreams. That sounds pretty good right?

WRONG!

As it turns out, after they have successfully conceived, the man is then sacrificed and fed to the tribe as a way of passing on the strength and vitality of the male to the children.

In other words, they were trying TO EAT HIM!

"Damn! I'm in a tight spot!" He said as he was hiding in a tree.

"THERE HE IS!" A tribal warrior yelled her belly bulging out.

He jumped out of the tree an continued to run.

"DAMN! I'm in a tight spot!" He yelled again as he really needed to escape.

"COME BACK! We need to consume your flesh!" The tribal leader said as Cristofer was being chased by Buxom pregnant tribal women.

Seriously this situation went from awesome to horrifying!

"What am I going to do?" He was getting close to the ocean.

"….Only one thing to do…" He jumped into the water.

"TO ATLAS I SWIM!" He yelled as he hopped in the water.

All while spears were being thrown at him!

"COME BACK!" They yelled as they couldn't swim.

Being pregnant meant they couldn't go out there or they would risk drowning, and unfortunately they had nursed Cristofer back to health.

"SAYONARA!" He yelled as he continued to swim.

And swim.

…

Swim

…

Swim

…

Until he was just a speck on the horizon.

"What will we eat now?" One of the leaders said as they suddenly heard coughing.

"HACK! HACK!" Another voice came to their attention as they all turned left.

"Agh! Come on!" A man in a strange white uniform said as he was thrown overboard by his comrades.

Sure! He fucks up one time! Sure that ended up costing hundreds of white fang lives, but it was an honest mistake.

"MEAT!" The warriors yelled as the man turned around.

"What the?" He was tackled to the ground.

"AAAHHHH!" He screamed as various bits of blood, flesh and bone went flying through the air due to ravenous females.

I've heard of pregnancy cravings before, but this is ridiculous.

 **Back to Qrow**

"Besides, look on the bright side, I have a nice house in the country side we can share." Willow said as Qrow raised a brow.

"Yeah but-" All of a sudden she handed him some lien.

"Here, why don't you go and buy yourself something pretty, I have baby supplies to buy." She said as she walked off with a smirk.

Qrow looked at her, and then back at the money in his hand. And it was then that he felt rather ashamed, he had worked his entire life, his first job was at a convenience store before he could become a huntsman. And now here he was…wait a second…

"HOLY SHIT…." Qrow was counting out the amount of lien she just gave him.

"Wow that's a lot of money." Jem couldn't believe how much Willow had given him.

"Wait, when did mother get a house in the country?" Winter thought she was still living at the Schnee mansion.

"Oh I forgot, I divorced your father." Willow said as simple as that.

"What?! When?" This was news to Winter.

"A few months ago, I was given half his assets, and now I have my own dust company, one that is in better relations with others than the previous administration." Willow smirked as she walked off again.

Winter was not one to be caught off guard often, but considering she just learned that her mother was pregnant with….YUCK! It still disturbed her to think about it….how her mother was pregnant with _Qrow's_ child, it was just something she wasn't expecting. And then she learned that her mother had actually divorced her father, and was now in control of half of his former company. Well it just wasn't something she ever expected to hear.

She remembered growing up about her mother would talk about getting a divorce. But she never had the will to go through with it. And now it all happened because some old hairy dick…

Quite….literally.

"I hate your dad…" Winter was hoping he would burst into flames because of her glare.

"Actually…he's your stepdad now…." Jem said as she was tempted to pull out her hair.

"…You realize that makes us step siblings right?" She asked as Jem shrugged.

"Eh, we were dating before they were….well technically now we're forcing my dad to marry Willow, but you get the point, I mean, and its not like we're blood related…right? Plus we were dating beforehand, so its not like people can say we're inbreeding right?"

"….It's still disturbing to think about…"

"Okay, fair enough, the point is we're not inbreeding."

This wasn't Alabama.

"There's still something I don't get…" Qrow looked confused as he pocketed the lien.

"And that would be?" Jem asked as he was wondering what could possibly make this situation anymore awkward.

"Well, I double wrapped my…" He really didn't want to say 'dick' in front of Winter because she was giving him that 'Remind me that you slept with my mother one more time, and I will cut your balls off' look.

"...pecker before we had sex both times, how the heck is it possible that I broke through both of them?" Qrow asked as Jem couldn't believe he was having this conversation with his dad right now.

"Er, bad luck?" He was really hoping it was his father's semblance.

"But you were right outside the room when it happened…" He reminded Jem that their semblances would cancel each other out, therefore giving Qrow the gift of neutrality.

The truth was that Qrow did double wrap his shaft both times before plowing Willow Schnee. But the thing was his semen was so powerful that it burst through the condom like a kamikaze pilot through a aircraft carrier and made its way to the egg. In other words, Qrow had very bad luck with sex.

Which begged the next question.

"Wait….out of all the times I've ever had sex…what if the condom broke each time? Oh Oum, how many children could I have?" Qrow did not like the feeling of waking up one day and finding fifty children who all looked like him at his doorstep.

"Just relax, whatever God is up there in the sky, I doubt he's sadistic enough to do that to you." Jem put a hand on his father's shoulder trying to reassure him that he was still his only child for now.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can we get ice cream?"

"Of course honey." Jem turned to see a mother and her son.

She was a fairly cute women, couldn't be more than 27, but it was her son that caught his attention. A fairly small pale child with….black hair….red eyes….Oh shit! No way! There was no way that Qrow could fuck up that much!

"Start walking Dad." Jem tried to push his father to the left.

"What? Why?" He asked as his son was being awfully pushy.

"JUST DO IT!" He said as he grabbed Winter and Nala and started walking away.

Seriously?! How many kids did Qrow have?

And more importantly, Qrow had made up his mind.

He was SO getting a vasectomy later.


	101. Qrow's Procedure and Concert Part 1

**Okay, so I know its been awhile since I published for this story, but that was because I was writing this collaboration chapter with Themischeviouspuppydog. And I've been busy preparing for the Army. Because if you have read the latest chapter of 'It's my turn to feel out of place.' You would know that my medical waiver for the army was approved, and I go back in tomorrow to Milwaukee, and on Thursday I pick a job and take the oath of enlistment.**

 **So I'm trying to publish this chapter before I leave. Because chances are you won't get anything new for a few months.**

 **Anyways, we don't own any of the songs or characters in this.**

 **Anyways MPD pretty much wrote most of the concert scene and scenes with Dandy while I just put some stuff in RP form when Jem was replying.**

 **So the first half of this chapter is me, the rest is his.**

 **Have fun, Godspeed.**

* * *

"SERIOUSLY?!" Jem had never been so furious in his life.

What was it that got him so pissed off? Did the hipsters ruin another good bar? Did he get kicked out of Atlesian army? Or maybe Winter decided they were never going to have sex again because of what Qrow did to her mother. No, it wasn't that either. Perhaps Nala had broken his prized framed picture of Ronald Reagan. That happened a week ago, and Nala had been appropriately punished for it. No, it was none of those things.

So what was it?

"Look! I need you there! With my semblance, I don't trust a doctor THAT close to my junk with surgical tools!" Qrow yelled out as Jem had never felt more embarassed.

Qrow was asking him to be present when they gave him a vasectomy.

"I AM NOT GOING TO BE THERE IF YOUR JUNK IS HANGING OUT!" Jem did not want to see his Dad's dick!

"It will be covered by a sheet!" Qrow saw the chair they would put him in for the vasectomy.

"Why not ask someone else to go in with you?" Jem really did not want to do this.

"Because if my semblance acts up, and they hold a knife that close to my junk, I may lose all function in it!" Qrow actually wasn't sure how vasectomy procedures went, but he was still scared.

"Oh you got to stop using that excuse for everything!" Jem hated his life right now.

He had to go to that concert later so Dandy could officially challenge him to that singing contest. And honestly he would rather go hang out with Dandy for the WHOLE day than be in this office with Qrow. Why was that? Because Qrow told him he needed a ride to the doctors office for his vasectomy appointment. But he never told Jem that he wanted him in the same room as him.

"Look, what if you change your mind later?" Jem was trying to convince his father to not go through with it, mostly because he didn't want to be there.

"I'll put some in the spank bank then!" Even hearing Qrow speak was torture to Jem at the moment.

"Or maybe you could just stop having sex!" Jem yelled as Qrow went silent.

"…Yeah that's not happening with Willow." Qrow was being honest.

Based on the text messages that women kept sending him, she was definitely looking forward to as much sex as she could get her hands on. In a way, Qrow was thinking marriage wasn't going to be so bad, the whole being a father thing however scared the hell out of him. But Jem and Winter made it very clear that he didn't have a choice in the matter.

"Okay fine, just…go and put some in the bank and I'll go in with you!" Jem saw that his father was not moving.

"W-" Jem cut him off right there.

"If you even suggest that I go in the room when you masturbate trying to get some jizz in a cup, I will personally perform that vasectomy with my TOMAHAWK!" Jem got his point across by whipping it out.

"….I was actually going to say, Wait here, but…good to see where you stand." Qrow opened the door.

"WOAH! They got a 72 inch flat screen in here! OH MY OUM! Look at this selection! Some of these movies aren't even out yet! Firey Faunus 5! Anal Armadillo 7!" Jem was getting pretty disgusted with the titles.

"Anal Armadillos?"

"It's armadillo faunus!"

"Oh…"

Jem was glad it wasn't some weird betaphile po-….

Wait a second.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE?!" Seriously that sounded like some weird shit.

"….I get lonely out on missions…."

"Jesus Christ and Odin, and I thought I watched weird porn in the past." Jem thought back to the time when he first discovered the interent.

Needless to say he was never going to look up tubgirl again thinking it was something innocent….

His friend sent it to him as a prank….

NEVER…NEVER….AGAIN…

Jem just stood outside the door as he waited for his dad to finish. You know, in his wildest dreams back when he was writing fanfiction and he had fantasies about what it would be like to go to Remnant and have adventures with Team RWBY, he never once thought he would be standing outside a room waiting for his dad to finish jerking off into a cup.

"Ahhh…" Colt came out and handed Jem a full cup.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jem freaked out as he felt something sticky outside the jar and threw it against the wall, breaking it into a million pieces.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Qrow was laughing his ass off.

"Relax! It's shampoo!"

"NOT FUNNY! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY FUTURE SIBLING!"

"Oh lighten up!"

"THAT'S IT! TOMAHHHHAAAAAWWWWKKK!"

"WOAH! HEY!"

Needless to say, Jem was stopped before he could perform Qrow's vasectomy…

 **TWO HOURS LATER**

"Give me that back." Jem asked as he took his flask back from Qrow and took a LOONNNNGGG sip.

"What are you nervous about? I'm the one whose getting my dick snipped."

"No that's a circumcision."

"Will you two be quiet?" The doctor in charge of Qrow's surgery said as she held up a big scapel.

"…There is no way that is regulation…" Qrow suddenly was worried.

"Relax, she already numbed you." Jem pointed out as she had already injected and swabbed Qrow with as many nerve numbing substances she could find.

Keep in mind, this whole surgery was being paid for by Willow, she didn't mind bearing Qrow's child, but she didn't want to have to deal with pregnancy for the rest of her life if Qrow's sperm truly was as powerful as you would think. So she was paying for his vasectomy procedure, but at the same time, just in case they did want more kids in the future, she demanded he make copious deposits to the sperm bank. That way it was a win win situation.

"I'm scared." Qrow was honestly trembling.

"Seriously? You fight Grimm for a living."

"Grimm can eat you in one bite so you'll die quickly, with a vasectomy one false stroke can completely fuck you."

"….Was that supposed to be a sex joke?"

"No….." Qrow held out his hand.

"What are you doing?" Jem asked.

"Hold my hand."

"I'm not holding your hand!"

"Please! It will make me feel better!"

"I'm already in the room with you! My semblance is already cancelling yours out!"

"Please? It would really help…."

"Oh Jesus Christ." Jem reluctantly took his fathers hand.

"….You two are disgusting." The female doctor said as she went under the sheet.

"I must say though, your wife must be a very happy person."

Qrow just smirked in pride as he puffed out his chest.

"Yeah I'm a real ma…OOOOOHHHHHHHH!" Suddenly he let out a squel like a little girl.

Causing both Jem and the doctor to look at him in shock.

"….You have cold hands…"

"Dad…..just shut up before I give her my tomahawk…"

"Hey look on the bright side, I'll teach you more about the bird transformation later." Qrow tried to sweeten the deal.

"You mean the thing you've been trying to teach me for months now?" Jem just couldn't get the hang of it.

"Well, my parents made me adjust to it by throwing me off a building, maybe we need to do that with you."

"….WHY?!"

"Because it takes a shit ton of stress sometimes to activate it."

"No."

"But-"

"I SAID NO!"

 **LATER**

"So how did it go?" Winter asked with a smirk as she saw Jem enter the room.

"….I had to hold my dad's hand as he got his sperm line snipped…how do you THINK IT WENT?!" Jem was so glad Nala wasn't around to hear this.

Mostly because he asked her to wait outside the room while he talked to Winter. Because he did not want her to hear this conversation.

"He made you hold his hand?"

"Apparently he cares more about his dick than his pride."

"Well that's hardly a surprise." Winter rolled her eyes.

Yang had described her Uncle with one phrase. He thought with his penis. And his penis often got him into trouble. Winter didn't want to think Qrow was that kind of man. But considering that he slept with her mother, and got her pregnant, she knew her opinion of the man couldn't get any lower. The sad part was that he was now her STEP FATHER. Which meant he would have seniority over her, and that made her FURIOUS.

She knew she would never hear the end of it from Qrow.

"So how did your day go with your mother?" Jem asked as Winter cringed.

"….Well…." This was going to suck.

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

" _Isn't this cute?" Winter's mom came out of the dressing room as her daughter covered her eyes._

" _MOTHER! We're here to buy you some new clothes! Not to buy you….lingerie!" Winter couldn't believe she just saw her mother in a lace white and blue babydoll nightie._

 _Surprisingly her mother was in remarkable shape for someone her age. So she at least had that going for her. But Winter would rather be anywhere else but here. Why did she have to come along? Oh yeah, she decided it would be a BRILLIANT idea to have a girls day with her mother while her future husband had a boys day out with his father, and Nala was currently being watched by the atlesian mechanics._

 _Winter did not think it was wise to take her daughter shopping since Nala was not one for pretty clothes. She was more practical like her father, often wanting to dress for the situation. In a way Winter could understand that, but it did annoy her that her daughter was not one for formal events. Luckily the mechanics offered to watch her until Winter and Jem got back. And Nala was all too happy to stay and watch them work._

" _Hmmm, I really want to try a new color though." Willow said as she had a hand on her hip._

" _Do I really have to sit here and watch you try on different lingerie?" Winter was not expecting this._

" _Well you could always try on stuff for your fiance." Willow smirked as Winter blushed._

" _He's….not really into lingerie…"_

" _Oh?"_

" _In his own words 'NAKED! WOOOOOO!" Willow actually had to stifle a giggle at that._

" _So he has no fantasies?" Winter blushed at her mother's questioning._

" _MOTHER! I am not having this conversation with-" Her mother cut her off again._

" _So he does?"_

"… _.He has one…."  
_

" _So why not fulfill it?"_

"… _Its…..a little awkward."_

" _Oh come on! Lets get to work!"_

" _W-WHAT?! HEY!"_

 _Willow was soon dragging her daughter off to go to random clothing stores._

 **BACK TO REALITY**

"So she was trying on lingerie in front of you?" Jem couldn't believe it.

"Yes…it wouldn't have been so awkward if they weren't so revealing." Winter saw more of her mother than she cared to ever see.

"So what did YOU end up buying?" Jem asked with a grin as she rolled her eyes.

"If you do well at your little singing competition, you'll find out later tonight."

And now Jem had a motivation to practice.

And practice he did!

So much in fact that we're just going to skip over the boring stuff and straight to the competition.

 **HOURS LATER**

"JEM! SUNFLOWER! Ah'm glad you could make it! Come on! Come in! Follow me!" Dany yelled in delight as he backed away from the front door and welcome Jem and Nala in.

As soon as they got in, Jem took notice of his surroundings. So far this place didn't seem any different from any other concert he had ever been to. There was a backstage area with roadies guarding them so that no unwanted individuals got in.

Jem was a little nervous because Dandy had forgotten to tell him that this concert was being televised all across Remnant. Granted they were going that so people from all over would send donations for the funds to rebuild and protect Vale. But Hem still thought it was a dick move that Dandy didn't decide to tell him that.

"So tell me Jem, how are you liking the army so far? A few friends of mine at the academy say that it's a lot different, it's not that bad is it?" Dandy asked as he was curious.

"Some of the insults I won't repeat because Nala is here…." Jem motioned to the little lion girl on his shoulders.

"And then I had to wear another guys underwear…." Jem wasn't too proud of that moment. But he needed a fresh pair.

"A few guys got punished for looking at some weird adult materials…" His thoughts went back to Private Cricket.

"Another guy passed out during the gas chamber exercise and they had to shove a silver thermometer up his…well you know." Jem had no idea what the silver bullet was…

And frankly he wish he never knew.

"Another guy shot himself in the privates by accident." Jem remembered that guy. Ironically his name was Private Jewels.

Private jewels got shot in the family jewels.

"Overall…..its everything I expected It would be and more."

Dandy simply blinked at Jem's response, "Well damn...Ah'm glad I signed up for Atlas Academy then, there's a lot less crazy going on there then what you signed up for." The lion stated as they arrived at a door with a sign that said "DSCO" on it.

Without missing a beat, Dandy opened the door, having to lower his head a bit to walk in, he waited on the side till Jem and Nala got in. When they entered, they could see six people within the room, two of them he already recognize. Neon Katt and Flint Coal, the two of them were busy talking to each other while Flint was working on his trumpet. The other four however were completely new to Jeremiah.

The first one, who was sitting on a black metal chair was busy tuning up what looked to be his weapon yet also his instrument, a double neck electric "axe" guitar, on the bottom of the guitar was a half circular opening, while on the heads of the guitar, the tips looked razor sharp especially in the inner workings of the instrument.

Was there some kind of handle bar there? What the heck was that for? Four dials were located on the front body of the guitar, three of them colored red, yellow, and blue, while the forth had three pictures on it, the pictures themselves appeared to be dust bullets. One was consumed in fire, a ring of snowflakes was around the other, and finally electricity was covering the last one, the second picture was that of a double edge axe, and the last one, which was the most surprising of them all, had the picture design of an Energy Sword from Halo…

Wait a second, they had Halo here? No that couldn't be right. Or could it? Jem did know that Bruce Willis here was Spruce Willis, so maybe if he existed here as an actor, Halo could be under a different name? He didn't know, but back to the story.

The man who held the guitar wore a black leather jacket with a hood, he looked to be around Jaune's height if maybe slightly taller, if Neo had a brother, then this would be him considering the fact that his eyes were completely different from the other, one being grey, while the other dark red, his hair from what Jem could tell appeared to be spiky and silver, with one of his bangs falling down partially across his grey eye. Around his neck was a silver necklace that had a cross at the bottom with a laughing skull with wings behind said skull in the top side of the cross.

Overall, he didn't look like he was in the same genre as Dandy, if anything he looked like he was trying out for motorhead.

He had chains wrapped around his arms that reached all the way up into a hole in his jacket. Overall Jem didn't know what to think.

He had Dark red fingerless leather gloves and black pants with matching combat boots. Looking to the middle, stood two people also chatting with one another, if Jem were to describe the guy on the left, he would look like he was the long lost member of Daft Punk, considering the fact that his entire head was covered in a light blue mask, that had a holographic visor with matching holo-eyes that changed depending on the wearers head, overall kind of weird considering he never was into Daft Punk.

The only part the mask didn't cover was the mouth, and the way he spoke, was like a robot speaking instead of a human being. He wore a light blue shirt that had bright orange coral like patterns covering parts of his shirt, mainly on his sleeves. His pants were light blue at the top and were getting darker until the very bottom of the pants were pitch black, if one were to really think about said pants, it almost represented the ocean, with the surface at the top while the Abyss was at the bottom.

The masked man was talking to a man who looked like a bit like David bowie, just without the starman makeup. Jem tried to get a good look at what he was using for a weapon, but he couldn't figure it out. In all honesty, it looked like a dildo. Then again it might be a weapon….so a dildo of death? Wait no, that was a conducters wand or something. Whatever, moving on!

Finally the last person on the right was sitting down in front of a dj table designed as a giant shield, though the odd thing about it is that said shield had an old record player speaker in the middle. He was busy bobbing his head up and down as a wire was connected to the side of his head. His overall sense in fashion could only be described as unique, if Roman had a cousin in fashion than this would be him.

He was wearing a pianist tuxedo, with two tail spikes that strecthed down the back, if you took a closer look, they even looked sharp. He had a dark black dress shirt, a top hat, and a bow tie in the middle of his tux, now why would his attire be so unique?

The fact that the entire tux, hat included was not only made with cloth, but with what appeared to be bits of metal in between acting as a set of armor.

His dark brown hair was tied in a pony tail that went all the way to the middle of his back, while on the right side of his head, he had a buzz cut look. When Jem took a closer look, it was because of the metal plate that was implanted in the side of his skull that covered half of what looked to be a three claw slash scar that stretch all the way till it reached near the right eye of said man, if he thought Weiss's scar was bad, this was worse considering the scars prevented hair from growing in the scared area. Seems the wire from earlier was connected to the metal plate on the side of the man's head. Now that was…interesting.

"So….this is interesting." Jem was surprised that the group looked pretty diverse, some looked like part of a 80s funk band, while others looked like emo rip offs, while some looked pretty normal.

"Uhm….what the heck is that guy holding?" He asked Dandy pointing to the dildo of death.

"It looks a little….weird."

Dandy turned his attention at what he was talking about and made a slight oh part

"Ah..wouldn't question about that much, Maestro doesn't like it when people talk about his weapon choice..., anywhoo" Leading Jem towards the guitarist, Dandy proudly announced.

"Jem, ah like yah to meet my partner and main guitarist of our group, Soul Silver!"

At this, the now named Soul looked up at stared at Jem, almost taking in his appearance, however Jem could have sworn he seen a quick flash of dark red glowing from Souls right eye from his perspective, that is until Soul gained a small smirk.

"So this is the guy you've been talking about so much, heh...well then," in an instant, Souls hand came up and held it out to him

"It's good to finally meet the guy who got my partner out of his so-called "Funk" when he thought well...you know." Waiting for Jem to shake his hand, he looked up and had a taunting smile at Nala,

"Hey there pipsqueak, glad you're still kicking. You kick any baddies lately?"

Jem shook Soul's hand as he smirked. Apparently Dandy wasn't the only one who had a cute nickname for Nala.

"SOUL! You know I hate that!" Nala pouted as she crossed her arms.

"That's probably why he does it." Jem knew this game, he did it a lot.

Calling someone a cute name that obviously irritated them was funny as hell.

"Anyways, nice to meet you." He took another look at the guitarist.

And now Jem had to ask the one question that you had to ask any guitarist. Then again, he was on Remnant. So they probably wouldn't get the joke.

"Can you play stairway to heaven or free bird?"

Soul let out a light chuckle towards Nala's antics, what Jem said was true, he just loved messing with Nala at times. Though upon hearing the question, Soul just merely nodded.

"Sure can, though if it weren't for Dandy getting those songs off your own scroll, I'd question you if those were real songs or not, besides I always enjoy learning new tunes to play, took me a while to learn the strings though. Anyway, you best be on your way to meet the rest of our team, the concert will begin pretty soon after all."

With that said, Dandy nodded and took Jem towards the third member of their team, who was just so happened to be talking to Maestro.

"Jem, I'd like you our third member, drummer, and impersonator of our group Coral Scream!" Dandy gestured towards the man with the mask on, which the now named Coral turned their attention to Jem and Nala. Coral held out his hand yet didn't say anything, was he waiting for something? It was hard to tell but the small giggles Nala was producing told Jem she knew something about Coral that Jem didn't.

"Uh, nice to meet you?" Jem shook his hand as the man remained silent.

"Is he mute?" Jem didn't want to sound like a dick, but something didn't seem right.

"Nope." Nala knew what was going on.

"I don't get it..." Was he shy or something?

It was then that Coral finally decided to speak.

But what really got to Jeremiah is that when Coral spoke, he heard his own voice come out.

"It's nice to meet you me! Say is it true that we are dating Winter Schnee?" Coral asked only for him to snicker a bit before bursting out laughing. The holographic eyes on Corals mask changed into an XD emote to sync with the laughter of Coral.

Dandy just merely rubbed the back of his own head before letting out a light chuckle.

"As you can see, Coral here always likes to mess around with people he first meets by using their own voice when he greets them back….you can thank his semblance for that."

After calming down, the emote changed back to the light blue holographic eyes that showed the placement of where Corals eyes would be at. His voice however sounded robotic almost like some hacker from a video game.

"Hahaha S-sorry about that, as you can tell, that was my Semblance, Vocal Manipulation, if you got something or someone for me to impersonate, let me know and I'd be happy to help you out, wether it be a prank or not! It's the least I can do in return since you helped Dandy out back then!"

Jem was honestly weirded out at this point. First he saw a guitarist who was a cyborg, then some lion faunus who was basically stuck in the disco craze. Then a guy who, actually he wasn't sure, some kind of imitation robot thingymajig.

The point was that he was confused and didn't know how to handle this situation.

"Well and here we have Maestro…"

"I can introduce myself dear Dandy." The man who kind of looked like David Bowie spoke up.

And Jem was even MORE confused because when their Maestro started to speak, he actually was reminded of David Bowie. Wait a minute…

Flashy clothes….

Deep voice with a bit of an accent…

Kind of eccentric personality….

Oh my God….

Was David Bowie Reincarnated in Remnant?!

"My given name is Maestro Malakarth." The man shaked Jem's hand as Jem just looked at him.

"…..David Bowie lives…."

Dandy who raised an eyebrow at this just shrugged and brushed off what Jem had just said. He had no idea who David Bowie was, and probably never would.

"Anyway, we must be on our way Maestro, still have to introduce Jem here to our final teammate, the concert is about to begin in 10 minutes and we can't be late."

"Ah yes, of course, run along now." The Maestro walked away as Jem was still star stuck.

"…I am almost certain that David Bowie was reincarnated now."

Finally they started to approach the final man in the room, he was sitting down and had his eyes closed bobbing his head and not noticing either Dandy or Jem.

"And here we have our final member of the team, Onyx Beats, as you can see he's our pianist DJ, something to do with the music his Semblance creates, Electric Swing...you wouldn't by chance have that back in your world would you Jem?"

Dandy asked while Nala hopped off of Jem's shoulders, and walked over towards Onyx. Light giggles came out of Nala's mouth as she snuck behind Onyx and reached towards his top hat, but just before she could snatch the hat away, a hand shot up and grabbed her little hand, a small chuckle followed soon after, to which Nalas eyes widened in surprise.

He spoke in an accent much like Velvets, Onyx used his other free hand and shook his index finger in a 'tsk tsk' motion before he finally spoke, never once opening his eyes.

"Just because I'm listening to my beats little one, doesn't mean I can't hear those giggles~" He spoke as he turned around, both eyes now opened, one eye was brown while the other that had the clawed scar going over it was revealed as as cybernetic eye glowing blue.

This caused Nala to pout as Onyx let go of her hand, only for his hand to ruffle her hair a bit before she found his top hat placed on her head only for it to cover most of her upper head and face due to the sheer size of it.

Turning his attention towards Jeremiah, Onyx stood up and held his hand out much like the others.

"It's a pleasure to meet yah chap, herd a lot about you from Dandy as well as you performing with us for the charity concert, that last part true?"

"Yes….Although technically he swindled me into it and didn't inform me of that until the very last minute." Jem while going along with it was still a little mad.

"Come on Daddy! It will be fun! Besides you sing me to sleep!" Nala perked up as Jem facepalmed.

"Really? You do that?" Soul ask as Jem sighed.

"Yeah, he sings me the theme song from Sons of Anarchy!" Nala had found the show downloaded on his scroll, but Jem said she was too young for the show.

As soon as Soul heard 'Sons of Anarchy'. He got a big smile and suddenly grabbed Jem by the shoulders. He looked him straight in the eyes, mismatched eyes staring into blue ones.

"Please tell me you can get me more episodes of Sons of Anarchy?!" Wait, Soul knew about the show?

Wait a minute, Jem remembered Dandy downloaded some of the music from his scroll onto his own scroll, he must have also downloaded some of the episodes of SOA he had on there. That's the only explanation he could think of.

After all, there was no other way Soul could know about Sons of Anarchy, an EARTH SHOW.

"Er, yeah I'll see what I can do." Jem couldn't turn down a fellow fan of SOA.

"Now now Soul, ah'm sure he can get some more later, but for right now, I best believe you let the man go so we can get ready, we only got 3 minutes til tha show starts!" Dandy said as Jem looked surprised.

"Wait, already? I thought we had longer!" Jem was not prepared for this.

"Relax Daddy! You go on after they perform for a bit." Nala said trying to comfort Jem.

"Wouldn't that give them higher expectations?" Jem pointed out.

"...Well...maybe it won't be so bad?" Nala dind't know how to salvage the situation.

"Don't fret Jem! Ah know you'll do fantastic! Think of it as your singing debut!" Dandy placed a hand on his shoulder and looked him straight in the eye.

"But if you're nervous on performing, then let me give you a bit of advice my father gave to me, if you're performing and your vocals are messed up from being nervous, just think of someone you care about, believe that you're just singing for them, and them alone, whether it be to my little sunflower, or Winter."

Backing away Dandy gave Jem a thumbs up and a toothy smile, almost like a certain busy browed green latex wearing ninja, his teeth gave a bit of a sparkle. "It works every time! Believe me, ah know because this happened to me when me and my team first performed."

"Okay, got it..." Jem took a long sip of moonshine to loosen his nerves.

"Daddy, mommy said no drinking." Nala took the flask from him.

"Geez, you too Nala?" He already got enough crap from Winter.

"Mommy says you need to quit drinking, otherwise you could end up like Grandpa and Grandma." Jem gave it some thought.

He REALLY didn't want to have a baby out of wedlock. Because Momma would kill him.

"Err booze works too I guess, he he." Turning around Dandy looked at the rest of his team mates

"Alright gang, let's put on a performance Remnant will never forget, FOR VALE!" Getting an equal cheer/hoorah from the others, they quickly picked up their instruments, and ran out of the room, with speeds that Jem could not comprehend.

An audible pop could be heard from Dandy's Afro squeezing through the door frame and out to the stage to set up their gear for the performance.

Before Jem could comprehend on what do next, a staff worker with the name plate "Droopy" on it appeared, and boy was Jem surprised, considering his face looked almost exactly like the cartoon dog back in Jem's world.

"Mr. Jeremiah...if you'd follow me, I'll show you where you'll be standing at til it's your turn to perform..."

Jem just decided to go along with it. Because honestly what else could he do? Since he had been in Remnant, he had met his adoptive daughter, who was named after a character from the lion king. Oh who was he kidding. Chances are almost everyone here was based off of another fictional character in some way or another.

"Well, here we go, Nala, your mother is waiting outside. Go with her, you should have front row tickets." Jem said as Winter came to the door.

"Daddy, how did Auntie Weiss react to the news about Grandma and Grandpa?" Suddenly Jem froze.

"...I don't know..." All he knew was that apparently Weiss hadn't said a word since they told her...

Was it silent rage? And plotting against Qrow?

After Nala had gone with Winter, Jeremiah decided to take a quick peak outside the curtains covering the stage, surely it couldn't be that big of a crowd could it?

…

…

…

Oh wow….he was wrong…so very wrong…

He could see the packed crowds that had filled the grassy areas of the park. Hell some people had climbed on top of some trees to get a better view of the stage.

Turning his head towards the stage, he noticed DSCO setting up their equipment, Dandy and Soul were in the front, with Soul fixing up a few chords on his guitar, while Dandy was doing something with his weapon when a part of the disco ball opened up to reveal the same type of material that Microphones had.

Meanwhile on the right from where the crowd was, Onyx had already set up his shield, with the old timey speaker sticking out, he was busy jamming away to who knows what in his head, and finally Coral who was behind them was just fixing up his own mic and testing the beats on the drums.

Speaking of the back, placed right above Corals head was a counter of some kind, perhaps that must be for the donations that had been donated for the charity.

"Well, got to give them one thing, they certainly have the right equipment for the job." Jem muttered to himself.

Jem wanted to light a cigar, but he promised Nala and Winter that he would quit smoking. So instead he let his thoughts wander to other places.

For example, he left his Indian Chief Classic back in Alaska, damn he missed that thing. He really hoped Neo listened to him and picked it up on her trip back to Earth.

 _Meanwhile_

"Uuuugggghhhh.." Neo was straining to push the bike towards the portal.

" _Why did I let Jem talk me into this? Also where the hell is Roman with his sister?"_

 _Back to the current scene_

"Well...damn..." Jem suddenly heard a few voices...no they weren't in his head, but he saw a few announcers in a booth.

"And here we are at the charity fundraiser to help victims of the vale attacks." Jem saw that Lisa Lavender was in the booth along with a few other radio ho-

Wait a second...WAIT ONE F*** SECOND!

Jem saw one man who looked REALLY familiar. In fact, he was certain of it! First he sees the one guy who looks like David Bowie and now here he was looking at a radio host who looked a HELL of a lot like Johnny Carson.

"...When you die..do you go to Remnant?" Jem thought to himself.

Because that was the only way he could imagine Johnny Carson being here…

Back at the booth the announcers were opening up the show.

"It's been 3 months since the attack on Vale, the people of Vale who've lost their homes and/or loved ones mourn for the dead. With the council trying to keep things in order, and trying to rebuild the kingdom, it has been difficult due to the low amount of Lien the city has." Lisa Lavender lamented the fact that due to money going into security trying to contain the breach, often the Vale budget was stretched thin.

Next to her was Atlas's and Remnants most well known talk show host of The Morning Show, Sunny Hudson.

"Well Lisa, it's a sad situation for all, so many people lost their homes, heritage and lives in the attacks. And due to the rising threat of Grimm and white fang attacks, It has been hard to try and stabilize the regions. Even the headmasters of all the huntsman academies have been working around the clock trying to fix the problem. But luckily its events like these that show that people will come together to help others." Sunny motioned towards the crowd.

"Well known music group Team DSCO volunteered to put on this show a a fundraiser, all the proceeds in question will be donated to victims of the attacks to help provide shelter, hot meals and warm clothes, right now some of the people who were evacuated from Vale are currently living in a refugee camp outside of Atlas being guarded by the Atlesian miltary. But hopefully with this event, we'll see them get back on their feet." Sunny looked at the group on stage.

"This event will also be broadcasted across the kingdoms so that anyone willing to donate can call the hotline in order to donate any amount of money that they can part with." Lisa said as she looked at the counter above the stage.

"All I know is that it's bound to be a massive turnout." Sunny smiled as he thought about the people of Remnant.

"Right you are Sunny, and it seems the concert is about to start!" Not soon after she said that, the curtains began to open followed with cheers from the crowd. The holographic screen behind Coral lit up and a bunch of random numbers began changing until the counter was set to red zero with a Lien sign next to it.

"HELLOOOOOOOOOO REMNANT! How y'all doin tonight?!" Dandy shouted right into his cane getting more cheers from the crowd. Dandy couldn't help but grin at this before continuing.

"Well we are doin GROOOOVEY ourselves! Now ah must thank all y'all for comin tonight! For those who are listening or watching us, we thank you too! Now with the purchases of the tickets, which happened to have been sold out by the way, thank you very much for that by the way, as well as the donations some of you generous audience members donated, we've already made-"

The counter behind him began changing rising up in numbers only to stop at 10,000.

"10,000 Lien! That's ah high number, and we appreciate the donations very much! Now as you all know, this is a non profitable event! All the Lien earned tonight will be going straight to Vale to help the kingdom out! Our goal tonight is 500,000 Lien, and it'll be even more Grooovey, if we can get more than our goal! Now before we start the concert, I want all of us to have a moment of Silence to pray for those who were killed during the attacked and those who are in hard times with the loss of their homes.."

With that, everyone lowered their heads in respect and began to pray.

Jem lowered his head. In reality he didn't know who to pray to, his own crisis of faith taking place. Did he worship the gods of his ancestors? Or did he continue to follow the teachings of Jesus? He honestly didn't know. But for now, he offered up a small prayer for the victims, that they would findsome semblance of peace.

Jem looked over at the acoustic guitar he would have to play as he sighed. Well, he was hoping he could get it over with as soon as possible. Sure he was glad to perform for charity, but he never liked being caught unprepared.

"Looks like first song is coming up." He said as he threw his cigar butt away.

With the prayer now finished, Dandy as well as everyone else lifted their heads, Dandy had a small yet sad looking smile on his face, couldn't blame him, he and Nala did lose family during the Vytal festival, Adam still had to pay for what he had done after all, especially to Nala. Picking up his cane with his left hand, Dandy began walking around the stage facing the audience.

"Now then, before we start our first song of the night, ah know that most of us throughout Remnant live our lives afraid, whether it be from the Grimm, the bandits, or from the less respected and more harmful White Fang of today..." If people had taken noticed on Dandys left hand holding onto the cane, they would have noticed the grip he had on his cane tightened a bit.

Only a few who were trained to noticed things took noticed, Blake being one of them as her head went down a bit, Sun who was next to her placed a hand on her shoulder hoping to cheer her up and reassure her, reminding her that she shouldn't blame herself. It almost didn't work until Nala went over and hugged her aunt, hoping to cheer her up

"Cheer up Auntie Blake! Daddy always says to smile and live for those who can't!" Nala said with a grin.

Blake grinned a little at the little lion girl. It was reassuring to know that at least one person didn't look down on her. Then again, Nala didn't know about her time in the fang. But Sun did, and he treated her like a normal human being.

So enough with being said, back to the show.

"Which is why….mah team and I made this song that we shouldn't live our lives afraid and should stand up for what's right! Oh yeah, for the ones who will donate can send it via scroll on our website or call the number and donate through that! Now, without further ado, we present to our newest song, LIFE AFRAID! LETS GET GROOOOVY~!"

(Play Life Afraid by Set it off)

Onyx who gave a quick thumbs up pressed a button on his weapon and what sounded like violins being played started before Dandy began the first verse of the song. His body moving to the lyrics as expected.

"I, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired  
and letting all these thoughts negative thoughts collide  
Why, betray my mind when I know the control is mine."

Dandy would express the song even more when he hand to place his right hand to his chest when it involved "I" or point to his head when the part about negative thoughts or mind came up.

"Got no time to sit on the sidelines and watch 'em play  
People around the world, people around the world.  
Gotta strike like lightning, and shine like we're not afraid.  
People around the world say,"

Dandy shook his head and pointed to the audience before pointing to his eyes to go along with the first lyrics of the second verse. the second part he jumped a few times while spinning around with his arms raised before continuing on. The third part he actually look towards Nora and gave her a toothy grin knowing she may like the next part, and when he said the third part of the verse, he gave a downward fist pump, and for a short moment, Dandy's body shined from him using his Aura. With the last part, instead of him jumping around like he did before, he made a circle with his hand.

"Yep, definitely new but catchy!" Nora was really starting to like the song.

"Yeah, still though sounds familiar…" Yang thought to herself as she was wondering if she also heard it on earth.

"Just shut up and listen!" Ruby said as she was liking the beat.

Meanwhile the counter continued to rise.

 _I'm Alive!_ _  
_ _I'm breathing today_ _  
_ _I'm alive_ _  
_ _Just dying to make_ _  
_ _a good vibe, I'm still in the game_ _  
_ _And I won't live my life afraid, hey!_

If the donations weren't rising up fast before, they sure as hell were now, from a small amount of 1-10 with the rare occasion of 100 Lien a second, was now 100-300 lien if not straight out a grand 1,000 Lien donation a second! With the way things were looking right now Vale was sure to get plenty of Lien to help rebuild and get more help to reclaim Beacon! Mostly everyone started jumping or dancing to the song, all around Rement whether it be at home, in a car, or a club, people were even moving a small amount to the beat, or straight out jamming and dancing to its positive beat. It certainly did bring a lot of positive feelings to a lot of people.

 _Meanwhile at the legion of doom, or Salem's council._

"This is ridiculous." Dr. Watts couldn't believe they had this on.

"Why did you want to put this on?" Hazel asked as Salem glared.

"Because this could give us intel about what our enemies are currently doing, specifically how Winter Schnee is in the crowd, meaning that she is not currently at her post, along with some of their top huntsman." Salem gave out a reasonable explanation.

In reality, she heard rumors that Jeremiah was going to perform and she wanted to see if they had any merit.

But in reality, she couldn't picture him as a singer.

 _Back to Dandy_

Coral was the one who added in the repeat verse using his semblance before Dandy continued on with the next verse of the song.

 _No, nobody can relieve me of my ghosts,_ _  
_ _But I refuse to let 'em define my soul,_ _  
_ _Though, they come and go, I'm the one with the guts to stay._

It was there that dandy began to sing the lyrics of the previous two verses, only the first was slightly different towards the end. The crowd was cheering and even started to sing along to the song, it was small though, but Dandy was confident he could make the group even larger until the whole audience was another chorus.

Meanwhile Jem was sitting back and enjoying the music. However he was still slightly nervous about performing. So he did the once thing that he knew would help.

He took more and more sips of Cottonmouth moonshine. And the more he drank, the more he medicated himself.

Back onstage, after Dandy finished the second repeat verse, he began with the part of the song that would really get the crowd moving, picking up his cane, Dandy began to do hey and Ho's to which the crowd happily shouted back, this worked perfectly with what he was about to do next.

"SING IT BACK SING BACK SING IT BACK~! LADIES, AAAAAYYYEEE AAAYYE AAYE!" All the females throughout the crowd, and maybe across Remenant sang back, and he did the same thing with all the guys only a bit different. With the crowd now going, he repeated the well known verse of the song, and sure enough, he got the entire crowd singing along, it was like a beautiful harmony, people young and old sang back, and all through out Remnant people joined in. Huh, made one think how Remnant would be if there was more music in their lives?

"Look at these idiots. Thinking that singing can solve their problems." Dr. Watts couldn't believe these people.

"You don't win a war by holding hands and singing peace music." Hazel knew that to be the truth.

"Will you shut up, I'm trying to listen." Salem glared as everyone went silent.

The woman was curious about the music, can you blame her?

The song finally came to an end and the crowd erupted with cheers, Dandy couldnt help but give a toothy grin to this before addressing to the crowd.

"Y'all sung absolutely incredible! You see, none of us should live our lives afraid! If you all work together, we can overcome the threats that dare do harm to us or our loved ones! Now, before we continue with our next song let's look at the donation counter on what we go so far!"

Turning around Dandy's smile almost became even wider as his eyes shined with glee, the donation counter was already well passed 100,000 Lien.

"Well would y'all look at that! Only at the start and we are already past 100k! If this keeps up, Vale will be back to its former if not better glory! Ain't that just GROOOOOVEY~~!" Dandy cheered as he turned back towards the crowd.

"Now as much as I would love to start the next song, I just wanna address something to the people of Vale real quick.." Turning his attention towards the camera that was near Lisa Lavenders crew, since. He knew that was the Vale news crew Dandy gave a small sympathetic smile.

"To those of Vale watching or here at this concert, we just want to assure you that we here at Atlas aren't all that bad, ah know with what happened at the Vytal Festivel I'm sure most if not a few blame our kingdom for what happened. But just know it wasn't our fault, who ever hacked into the Atleasian knights, those who planned with white Fang, they are the ones to blame." Dandy began as his hair looked like it had slightly deflated, most likely from the sadness he was feeling.

The mood was a bit more somber. A complete 180 compared to the energy and vibrancy of the crowd. In reality, everyone remembered the Atlesian airship crashing into the second airship therefore causing what some had dubbed 'The Hellfire of Atlas.'

Even though the people knew the ship had been hijacked it didn't keep people from feeling fear everytime they saw Atlas fleets in close formation.

"Sure you may think that all of us Atlesian folks who are rich are just snobs, selfish, racist, or just plain power hungry...You aren't wrong about that, but not ALL, of us who reside in our kingdom are. Ah could name a few me and mah team havee encountered that fit that bill, ah won't say whom, but ah'm sure they know who they are. But like ah said, not all of us are, just take mah team for example! If Atlas was that snobbish or selfish, I as a Faunus wouldn't be in Atlas academy, nor stand where I am now! Atlas wouldn't allow us to host this charity event nor let us make the music we've done in the past. Ah just hope these examples help y'all understand that we as a kingdom ourselves knows what loss is, we too lost people in the attack, even I did..." Dandys hair deflated a lot to where it looked like he had dreadlocks.

Most of Team RWBY remained silent. In reality, Atlas did not have the best reputation right now. Either from conspiracy theorists who believed that Atlas had planned the attack themselves. Or from the people who didn't trust Atlas security because they were afraid they would be easily defeated. The point was that the faith people had in the Atlesian forces had diminished significantly since the attacks.

Jaune and Pyrrha clenched their hands tightly. They remembered the day of the attack well. After all Jem showed them Volume 3, and while they thought they had avoided it completely, all they managed to do was alter it. Which wasn't enough.

Jem remained silent. In reality, he hated hearing about the attacks. Because all it did was remind him of his failure. The worst part was that he thought he had avoided it. He thought he had given them enough information to prevent the fall of beacon. But when Ozpin gave him a list of casualities, all he discovered was that even more people were killed in the terrorist attack than at the original fall of beacon. And that made Jem feel like shit.

But he knew he couldn't focus on it too much. After all he had a show to do soon. So to calm his nerves, he drank even more moonshine.

The spectators for the most part looked back down. None of them had been there at the fall of beacon, so they couldn't imagine what it was like for the people who were trapped under the burning wreckage. But they saw it on tv, and it was enough to bring the horrors of war to their very doorstep.

If I could happen to Vale, then it could happen anywhere.

AND THAT was a terrifying thought.

Slowly but surely Dandy's hair began to go back to its poofy form.

"Which is why if what I said doesn't satisfy you or you still don't believe what Ah said, then we have a song that my partner Soul will be singing that's actually dedicated to the people who are the ones who sit back in their ivory towers and watch as things unfold., sure we may get hate from them, but if it means taking away the hate from Atlas, that Vale may have for us, then that's fine by us! Still if the song doesn't change your opinions, then that's fine and "Dandy~" " That got a few good laughs from the crowd do to the pun he just gave.

"HA!" Yang laughed as she covered her mouth as her friends looked at her.

"Really?" Ruby knew the pun was bad.

"Come on.." Yang felt sympathetic to a fellow punster.

"Stop talking."

"But-"

"Stop moving you mouth with words coming out." Jaune was imitating Richard Hammond as he said that.

Feeling proud of himself because of the pun, Dandy continued his speech.

"You have your own opinions, we just don't want hate or negativity that would help the Grimm to thrive on and expand. Either way, lets get on with the next song shall we?!"

Dandy shouted getting numerous cheers once more as he stepped away from his cane so he could pick up his guitar while Soul and him switched places for mics.

"Well…here we go again." Jem said as he knew he was after these guys.

May as well take a few more sips of moonshine.

Soul standing in front of the mic, cracked his neck a bit, before reaching up and pulling down his hood to reveal spiky grey hair, he kinda looked a bit like that Axel from that game Team RWBY and JNPR played while back in Jeremiahs world. What was it called again? Kingdom something? Something to do with Key weapons and shadowy monsters like the Grimm.

His eyes looked towards the camera and he gave an uneasy glare, most people wouldn't see it, but those who were watching the television and knew that Dandy classified them as snobs and rich assholes…..they couldn't help but shiver lightly from a menacing red glow that emitted from Souls right eye from the people's view.

"Like Dandy said, this song I made goes towards all the snobs, power hungry idiots, or racists out there, hate me all you want really, I don't care. This song especially goes out to a certain dust company owner who've we tried to change in the past but had no success what so ever..I like to call this song..Atlas Devotee." It was then that Soul had a devious yet mischievous smirk on his face "THIS ONES FOR YOU JACQUES, AS WELL AS PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE YOU! HIT IT!"

Meanwhile back in the Schnee Mansion, Jacques dropped a cup of coffee as he glared at the tv.

"Insolent little brat…" He thought as Whitley was watching the tv as well.

"Ungrateful brute…" Whitley knew the company did more to help those filthy faunus then the white fang had in years.

Weiss just shrugged her shoulders. Her father was a dickweed, he kind of deserved this.

(Play L.A Devotee by Panic by the disco, use the lyrics and your imagination for this Rwby Parody song Atlas Devotee!)

Coral was the one who started the beat and Onyx pressed a button on the shield to make a quick sound effect of a record player playing as well as adding the other musical instruments they were missing.

 _You got to black eyes from hating to hard,_ _  
_ _And a black car that matches your blackest soul,_ _  
_ _I wouldn't change ya, oh_ _  
_ _Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no_ _  
_ _Oh, the icey coast was your sign_ _  
_ _And the Northeast wind with Pisces rising_ _  
_ _I wouldn't change ya, oh_ _  
_ _Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no_ _  
_ _Icy palms, freeze your vibe_ _  
_ _Midnight whisperings_

The first verse of the song seemed slow at first, and the donation counter seemed to have slowed a bit when it got past 200k Lien, but when the second verse came up, the donation meter sky rocketed once more for what the next lyrics were as Soul and Dandy began to play their guitars.

 _The black dust of Mulholland Drive_ _  
_ _Swimming pools under winter skies_ _  
_ _Drinking red wine in the workers light_ _  
_ _Just another Atlas Devotee_ _  
_ _Sunsets on the evil eye_ _  
_ _Invisible to the Councilmen's side_ _  
_ _Always on the hunt for a little more time_ _  
_ _Just another Atlas Devotee_ _  
_ _Just another, just another, uh oh_ _  
_ _Just another, just another, uh oh_ _  
_ _Just another, just another, uh oh_ _  
_ _Just another AtlasDevotee_

The crowd was erupting in cheers at this point, and who wouldn't? Well the the people they were singing about of course, but who could blame them, they had it coming for the most part.

"I think he's singing about us…" Whitley tilted his head.

"He IS singing about us…" Jacques was not liking this.

Winter and Weiss were shifting around uncomfortably, not knowing if they were supposed to feel bad or not.

 _You got bleached out eyes from the Vacuo sands_ _  
_ _And a black Gheist Grimm keeps weeping your name_ _  
_ _I couldn't change ya, oh_ _  
_ _Couldn't ever try to make you see, no_ _  
_ _The high rise lights read your rights_ _  
_ _And a downtown storm with Aries rising_ _  
_ _I couldn't change ya, oh_ _  
_ _Couldn't ever try to make you see, no_ _  
_ _Icy palms freeze your vibe_ _  
_ _Midnight whisperings_

The rest of the song was history as it repeated the previous lyrics as Soul played away to his hearts content. The song was definitely something wild as most of the crowd were jumping or fist pumping to the song in enjoyment.

The last part of the song, Soul made sure to sing loud and proud using his vocals to the fullest, until it finally came to an end. The crowd cheered and Soul gave a two finger salute on his forehead towards the crowd in response.

He did however give a quick glance towards the schnee trio, mainly towards Weiss, but looked away and went back towards his spot he was at before when Dandy first performed.

"Well that was fun!" Ruby LOVED this music, and she never thought she would ever see Dandy in concert!

She tried to get tickets back at Signal, but they were way too expensive. So she gave up that dream, but now here she was! Oh it paid to have Jem for a cousin!

"What was with that look?" Yang asked as they looked towards Weiss.

"What look?" Weiss was oblivious.

"The look Soul just gave you?" Blake pointed out.

"I don't know." Weiss said as Winter smirked.

"I know…" Winter had a feeling she knew what that look was about.

Dandy walked back to his original spot and picked up his cane.

"Haha, ah hope y'all loved that song like you did the first one! Now let's take a look at the donation meter shall we!"

Turning back around, the donation meter was now at 323,595 Lien they were so close for the goal! All that needed to be done was for Jem to perform, and if the recording Nala sent him of Jem's singing her to sleep was to go by, then they'd for sure get the rest of the money needed for the goal!

"Now then…"

Turning his attention back to the crowd. "Just to let ya'll know, any extra money after our goal will go straight towards getting supplies for Beacon to help rebuild themselves or even just to recapture the academy, so please don't stop donating people! Your donations matter!" Dandy pleaded, before continuing on.

"Now we may not be showing off new songs, but we actually have a guest singer tonight, that singer is none other then the man most Faunus may know for saving my precious little Sunflower during the attack on Vale! If it wasn't for him, ah wouldn't be up here with mah team performing for you all! Ah owe this man everything especially since he's taking care of my little sunflower~! Without further ado, ah would like to introduce to you all, JEREMIAH BRANWEN!" The light above the stage shined towards the side of the back stage to show where Jem would be coming from, only problem was after a few seconds Jem didn't come out. Which in turn started a lot of murmurs from the crowd.

"Errr..Jem? Jeeeeeem?...What on Oum is he doing?" The last part was a whisper but was stil audible for the mic. The staff member Droopy, just motioned towards him, which caused Dandy to sweat drop.

"Uuuh one moment folks, I'll be right back with information about our next performance.." Quickly running over towards Droopy, Dandy leaned down and listened to what he had to say about Jem.

"Whats going on?" Ruby knew Jem was performing tonight, so where was he?

"Maybe he got scared of going out on stage?" Weiss suggested.

"Weiss…you realize this is the same guy who jumped into a Grimm's mouth right?" Winter deadpanned at her sister.

"Hey, warriors get stage fright too!" Yang was trying to help her cousin.

"I don't think it's stage fright." Blake had a sneaky suspicion.

Meanwhile at Salem's council

" _Ah ha! I knew Jem would be there, although the rumors of him singing are true? Oh…well…this could be interesting…"_ Salem thought even though she didn't have faith in him.

He just didn't seem like the singing type.

The crowd could hear the sounds of a minor scuffle in the back as they heard Dandy mumble out 'Oh dear.' Well that couldn't be good…

"Uuuh do to minor difficulties, it would seem we may need to have an intermission for right now folks! Ah just need to check up on what Jem needs before he comes out to perform for y'all! For now enjoy some good old Electric Swing from Onyx here!" With that said Dandy bolted off stage with speeds that would match Ruby's.

Coral and Soul just shrugged at each other before doing their own thing like Coral checking up on his scroll, Soul laying down sideways for a power nap.

Onyx was now the intermission entertainment and began playing his beats for the crowd to dance or listen to. While Dandy went to go see what was going on with Jeremiah.

(Play Best of Electric Swing November 2015)

Backstage, Dandy went straight towards where he had last seen Jeremiah, to which he found him on the floor napping.

"Jem, wake up! It's your turn to perform!" Dandy shouted only for it to have no effect, Dandy began to shake him, he even resorted to kicking him in the side only to groan when that didn't work.

What the hell was going o-

Suddenly Dandy noticed something.

A completley empty flask of Cottonmouth moonshine.

"Oh this is sooo not Groovey..." Jem was knocked out from being drunk.

* * *

 ***JC is sitting around after a finished chapter***

 **JC: Well good to see that's finally over wi-**

 ***Suddenly a portal opens***

 **JC: What the-?!  
ghost83: *suddenly falls through the portal and lands/crashes on top of you* *delirious* Did anyone catch the number of that Peter Griffin?**

 **JC: Who the hell are you?**

 **ghost83:**

 ***shakes head* Um, I'm the guy that traded you booze for Tigerstripe's corpse, remember?**

 **JC:...No I don't remember, when did this happen?**

 **ghost83: I'm not answering that question. But let's just say there's you being a "normal" drunk, and you being a "multiversal" drunk. Like, the level of drunk you achieved shattered a few million universes to the point of the higher-ups actually restricting all universal transport of alcohol to you. It went to the point of selling the drink you took become illegal on black market standards.**

 **JC:...F*** it I don't even want to know.**

 **ghost83: Yeah, it's for the best. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I successfully took her corpse and turned it into an emotionless puppet for one of those cliché "Gamer" RWBY characters. I also stripped her of her free will, memories, and motor control. Oh, and I may have managed to rip her soul out in the process while keeping her healing factor.**

 **JC: Okay well good luck with that, in the meantime I really got to get to work on this next chapter. Have fun.**

 **ghost83: HATERS AND FLAMERS! *suddenly pulls out a huge bazooka***

 **JC:...I need a drink**

 **ghost83: ... Just don't drink the mythical "Alcohol X". It's rumored to get the drinker so drunk they feel no pain for the rest of their existence. Oh! That reminds me...**

 ***hands JC a bunch of bottles labeled "Alcohol W"***

 **This is the payment we agreed upon when you gave me Tigerstripe's body.**

 ***opens another portal***

 **ghost83: your currently local mad scientist, is out of here.**

 ***crazy grin***

 **LATER, READERS!**

 ***to JC***

 **Oh, and those drinks can make a drunk Qrow seem perfectly sober.**

 ***exits through the portal***

 **JC:...F*** it...**

*Cracks open a bottle*

 **ghost83: *pokes his head out* By the way, try to kill Tyrian ASAP. I need his body for experiments. *goes back into the portal and leaves for good***

 **JC: Yeah yeah got it.**


	102. Concert Part 2 and Fantasy Fulfilled

**Okay everyone here I am again, again shoutout to MPD for helping me with the Dandy parts. And here is part 2 of the concert. It took me awhile to write this because my laptop has a cooling system error that STILL hasn't been fixed. So haven't been able to write. That combined with getting ready for basic training has left me really busy.**

 **So here we go.**

* * *

Jem was currently happily asleep in an alcohol induced coma. He figured it would be awhile before he had to go on stage. So he figured they would wake him up when the time came. Only one problem was that he may have drank a little bit too much, and now they couldn't get him to wake up.

Dandy was in panic, he tried everything he knew to wake up someone when they were drunk, and those didn't worked! He even threw a bucket of ice cold water on him but that didn't even phase him! It only made his body stand out like a stiff board! Though Dandy had to admit, the army sure gave him one hell of a body. But either way, this was bad! He could just leave Jeremiah here and go perform other songs, but he couldn't abandon his friend nor embarrass and ruin his reputation! Especially embarrass him in front of loved ones! He knew that feeling and it wasn't pleasant back before he was in Atlas.

There was one thing he could try though to wake him up, it may cause embarrassment to him, but if it'll teach him to not do this again in the future then so be it. Grabbing Jeremiah by his arms, he slowly but surely began to drag him drunken body out on stage.

"OH YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Winter facepalmed as she knew what was up.

"Jem is drunk…" Ruby joined Winter in facepalming.

"Eh, that's nothing new." Jaune knew Jem long enough to know he did stuff like this.

"Everyone's watching." Blake turned to the crowd.

A ton of the crowd began to murmur about what they were seeing, Dandy Lion dragging out what they assumed was Jeremiah, a lot of questioning was going on, was this part of the act? Was Dandy dragging a dead body? So many questions that only a certain few knew the answer too.

After Dandy dragged him to a good spot on stage, Dandy went back to his mic with Onyx stopping his beats for Dandy to speak.

"Before y'all say anything, don't worry! This is all part of Jeremiah's act! He thought it might be funny for you all to act like ah drunken fool for you all and show the kids what's it like to be drunk! One of the many cases, not waking up no matter what you do, water included, depending on how much ya drank! But he wanted all the male viewers out there know that there's one thing that can wake you up...Winter schnee may ah have your assistance please?" Dandy asked as he waited for her to get up here, if there was one thing that he knew always worked to wake up a drunken fool, it was a women's wrath.

Winter needless to say saw through the bullshit. She could not BELIEVE Jem had...okay she could believe it. But passing out backstage due to drinking too much? How did he do that? She was certain Nala took his flask.

"Nala, I thought you took his flask?" She asked her daughter.

"I did!" Nala held it up.

"Where is Mr. Booze?" Winter asked.

"Oh...I didn't get that one."

"...Okay, here I go." Winter got up on stage.

"Jem, wake up n-" Suddenly Winter tripped.

"NO! NOT AGAIN!" She knew what was about to happen.

She landed right on top of Jeremiah as her boobs mashed against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her in his sleep.

"Teeeddddyyyy beeeeaaaarrrrr." He said in a drunken slur.

"THATS MY BOY!" Qrow yelled out.

Everyone Jem knew was either laughing along with the crowd, or were too shocked with wide eyes and jaws agape. Dandy was one of those people, his glasses fell down a bit as his eyes were as wide as they could be, his jaw had dropped as he just stared at what was Jem was doing. Sure it was embarrassing but also funny and the crowd loved it. Especially since the donation meter began filling up again, from the intermission to what was happening now, the meter was now at 325,480. Especially since what Jem said was loud enough to be broadcasted on the speakers.

"That….idiot…." Weiss facepalmed as she couldn't believe he did that with all of Remnant watching.

"THAT…SON….OF…A….BITCH." Jacques really, really, really, really, really HATED that man.

Whitley found it kind of funny that his sister was embarassed in public. So much for the high and mighty Atlas Specialist now huh?

"My my, he certainly is your son." Willow gave no fucks. Except to Qrow.

Meanwhile Salem was sitting back in her tower gripping the table with rage as she saw Jem cuddling Winter Schnee. That did NOT fly with her. And she intended to dispose of Winter as soon as possible.

"He's a dead man…" Yang rubbed her face as she knew something bad was coming up.

"Well Mijo, Vaya con dios." Grandmama said as she showed up out of nowhere.

"Grandmama? Where did you come from?" Blake asked.

"We've been here the whole time." She said turning to the rest of Jem's family.

Soul was still asleep, sure he could wake up but he chose not too, Coral himself was having a laughing fit at what was going on, and finally Onyx just simply shook his head pitying the poor fool for what he had done.

One of the rules in a relationship, if you're gonna act like a fool and embarrass yourself, don't bring your spouse into it unless they too want to act like a fool with you.

Winter had a twitch in her eye as she realized nearly everyone just saw Jem hug her like a teddy bear. She felt her face turning red with both anger and embarassment as she realized she ws still on top of him. So she reacted in the only way she could.

"WAKE UP DUMB ASS!" She yelled as she slapped him so hard you could hear it across Remnant.

Causing Jem to wake up, throw her off and stand at attention.

"I SWEAR TO GOD DRILL SERGEANT I DIDN'T STEAL THE MP CAR!" Jem suddenly realized he wasn't back on base.

"Huh, where am I? What was I doing again?"

It was then that the entire crowd burst out with laughter,almost all of Remnant was laughing. To those who knew it wasn't an act either laughed along to try and save Jem from his embarrassment or face palm once again from what just happened. Either way, at least he was awake.

Dandy, deciding to help his friend out, quickly grabbed his mic.

"And there yah have it folks! Jem's demonstration on what happens when yah get drunk before a big event and the embarrassment that comes with it! Hahahaha." Dandy letting out a nervous chuckle couldn't help but sweat drop, at least he saved Jem's reputation...mostly. Nevertheless he thanked Oum, and Winter for Jem waking up.

"Why don't yah give tha crowd a quick bow with Winter here before yah perform the next song of tha concert!" Hopefully Winter can talk a bit of sense into him before he begins.

"Eh, what the-" Jem found himself pulled to his feet.

"Just go along with you lovable idiot." Winter said as Jem was now being forced to bow.

"Errr...I drank too much didn't I?"

"Yes you did...also we're seriously going to have a talk about you stealing an MP car."

"...Shit..."

"Fucking infantrymen..." Winter muttered under her breath.

After the two sat up, Dandy turned back around and noted that with Jem's little embarrassment, the donation meter had actually gone up by 50,000 Lien making it 375,680, he couldn't help but smile at that since it did help raise a bit of money. Making his way over to Jereimiah he gave a small nod before saying.

"Ah hope yah ready Jem, just remember what ah said back stage, if yah feeling nervous just think that you're singing only for Winter or for Nala, ah'm sure you'll do grand."

"Oh yeah…forgot about this…" Jem had to admit, he was SLIGHTLY nervous.

"Just relax, and remember, if you do well…there's a reward for you." Winter kissed him on the cheek and made her way back into the crowd.

Once the two parted ways, Dandy lead Jem over to his mic before making the big announcement.

"And now for real this time, ah introduce to you all, mah dear friend Jeremiah Branwen! Break ah vocal cord bud!" Whether that was the singers version of Break ah Leg, Jem may never know.

The rest of team DSCO got off stage and went to the side lines with Jeremiah standing alone in front of millions of people whether, well he guessed it was now and never.

He got the acoustic guitar out, in reality, he only really knew two songs. And the first one all he needed was the guitar.

"Well, I'll be honest, the kind of song I'm going to sing is going to seem a little out of place, after all, Dandy and I have kind of a different taste in music, he doesn't even know this song I'm about to sing." It was true, Jem knew this song by heart because it was one of the few songs he learned to play and sing because he loved it.

"Anyways, I know how you all feel about the attacks on Vale, and I know how you feel…" Jem trailed off for a bit as he wiped his forehead.

"Where I come from, a group of terrorists led an attack on innocent people resulting in the deaths of 3000 people, and to this day, we're still fighting them." Jem knew they wouldn't understand 9/11, but he knew their pain.

"So this song, this goes out to Adam Taurus, and all those who will eventually get the justice they deserve, and this also goes out to those who would let scum like that go away." Jem took a deep breath and started strumming his guitar.

(Play 'If this country still had balls' Buddy brown)

 **Strange man walks in holdin' his gun** **  
** **He kills somebody and he's on the run** **  
** **Out the door and into the busy streets** **  
** **The cops chase him round town for an hour or two** **  
** **Go back home, he's on the evening news, they tell us it's alright** **  
** **We've got him in custody**

Everyone looked at each other. It was true, the music he was playing was much different than the previous two songs. But yet they could see his point. In reality, multiple members of the white fang had been caught, but sometimes they got off with appeal. Even if they had been the biggest scum of the universe, sometimes the legal system let them go.

And it did piss everyone off. It also helped that the song was catchy as hell.

 **Well, maybe it's me, but I'm scratchin' my head** **  
** **Wonderin' why that s.o.b. ain't dead** **  
** **When everyone knows it's him, why should we wait?**

Dandy was indeed surprised, the song Jem was singing was new to him, though just from listening it had a lot of meaning within the lyrics, especially since what he said earlier was true, the white fang did have multiple members that had been let go, any of them could have been the one to have fired that rocket or crashed that truck right into his aunt and uncles car. Yet he would never know really. But if he did, he would make sure they'd get hell to pay when he got his hands on them.

Soul couldn't help but smirk, Jem definitely had a pair like him, for singing a song that went against those who had done the people wrong even if they were rich and well known names, that took a lot, especially on live television. He already feels like he's going to be targeted one way or another, but if Jem is too with what he's singing, he'll back him up.

Coral was simply listening to Jeremiah's voice, taking in his tune and memorizing the vocal patterns, he did have a bit of a hobby when it comes to collecting musical voices, and now he had a new singing vocal in his collection. That and he could tell Jeremiah was giving his all when it came to singing, just by listening to his vocals. He could tell that vocal tone wasn't the only one his voice box could sing really well at.

As for Onyx, he was listening to how he played his musical instrument, he may not be a guitarist like Soul, but he did listen carefully and could tell by the smallest detail of each string pulled. It was in a rhythmic harmony, and just like how a pianist puts his soul into playing the keys, so was Jeremiah with the strings.

From what the crowd heard so far they actually loved it so far, not only did it speak the truth like the previous song, but it was also definitely different then what team DSCO had played in the past. The numbers on the donation counter began to rise and it was definitely almost to the half a million goal, with it standing at 437,803

Salem was listening to it and was pleasantly surprised. Granted she also realized that this song was indirectly focused at her and she felt slightly offended. But she ignored it in favor for the rest of the song.

"Wow, a country song at a concert like this?" Ruby could say she was not expecting that.

"It's fitting." Winter said as she didn't know he would pick that one.

"Hey, I like it! It's catchy!" Jaune said.

Meanwhile in another part of the world. Adam Taurus was watching with his fists clenched and a glare aimed at the screen.

"….I hate that man."

Jem was feeling better now that he saw the crowd was getting into it. In reality he wasn't sure how people would react to this song. After all, he was still playing country music in a crowd that looked like it was more involved in pop and stuff like that.

But maybe he could get these people to see things his way after all.

 **It's time we go back to hangin' em high** **  
** **Let's light the torches in the middle of the night** **  
** **Somewhere along the way we've gotten way too soft**

Now that got the crowd going. At no point did they think this was going to be a song about chasing down criminals themselves. But the more they thought about it, the more it made sense. They all sat around hoping that the white fang would fade into obscurity. But in reality they were just growing.

They thought if they ignored them they would go away. But now they had the attack on Vale to deal with.

Maybe it was time they did something more to help Remnant besides hoping that the problem would get better.

 **We don't need a jury when we've seen what he's done** **  
** **Just build the gallows and wait for the sun** **  
** **Get the vigilantes loaded up, with justice for all** **  
** **If this country still had balls**

As soon as he said that line, a few shadowy officials who ran the various kingdoms clenched their fists. Did this man seriously have the gall to insult them like that?

He did….He did indeed.

Within the Schnee Manor, Jacques was beyond furious at this point, if he was angry when Soul played that song about him on national television, which was bad enough, he was now beyond that. Even after letting that insufferable idiot stay as much as he disliked it, he still had the nerve to mock him! Especially after learning from a source that not only was Qrow his father, but also the reason why Willow left him! He will not let this man stain the schnee name any longer! Seems he'll have to make a few calls, especially to his lawyer about custody arrangements.

Weiss may be a hunttress, but he could still sink his claws into her.

 **My tax money pays for nice hot meals** **  
** **For a killer locked up making more appeals** **  
** **So he can get right back out and do it all again** **  
** **Now, I ain't sayin' that a man can't change** **  
** **But you can't tell right from wrong these days** **  
** **Unless we send a message they won't forget**

The crowd was really starting to enjoy the song. Not only was it catchy. But the message was something that got your blood pumping and ready for a fight.

In reality, Jem also had an ulterior moment.

Expose them…..TO AMERICA.

And he…was succeeding.

" _America….FUCK YEAH!"_ He thought to himself.

 **It's time we go back to hangin' em high** **  
** **Let's light the torches in the middle of the night** **  
** **Somewhere along the way we've gotten way too soft** **  
** **We don't need a jury when we've seen what he's done** **  
** **Just build the gallows and wait for the sun** **  
** **Get the vigilantes loaded up, with justice for all** **  
** **If this country still had balls**

When the song came to an end, the crowd was in an uproar cheering Jem's name, hell even a chant started with people shouting out 'J.b'. Jem had to let a smirk out at that, all he could think about was Tenacious D and Jack Black.

Dandy walked out on stage with the rest of team DSCO and they were too clapping for Jeremiah, Dandy placed an arm around his shoulder before shouting into the mic.

"And that's J.B for yah folks! Ah knew y'all would like him, ain't his singing something?!" The crowd cheered back in response, proving that Jem did have a talent for singing.

Well that and the song he sang was a big 'fuck you' to criminals and those that would let criminals get off easy.

"Now before we have our final song for the concert, why don't Jeremiah here gives y'all his thanks before we do a bit of an intermission before the final song!" It was there that Dandy leaned in and whispered into Jem's ear his new plan.

"Ah'll tell yeah about the final song back stage Jem, its only right you do two songs and we think your vocals would be perfect for our final song."

Dandy whispered, before giving him a quick thumbs up before walking away back stage with Soul and Coral to wait back stage for Jem, while Onyx fixing up his weapon to get ready to do another intermission song while the rest of his team talks to Jem.

"Wait...second song?" Jem thought he was only doing the one.

"WOOO!" Winter was actually cheering for him.

Wait, the more he thought about it...Winter had a surprise for him if he performed well. And if she was happy with his first performance...how would she react to his second song?

...Thinking it over, he decided to say 'fuck it'

Right now he was more wired up than an irishman at a potato patch.

Turning back to the crowd. He started to speak.

"Uhm, okay, hoped you guys all liked that." At that Jem got a loud roar of approval.

"Heh, everyone loves Buddy Brown...except commies and snowflakes, but screw them." Jem however did not realize that he said this in the microphone.

"Uh, just ignore that, thats just rambling on my part, but commies are bad, and hopefully you will never have to know what a commie is." At this the crowd grew confused, but overall nodded along with it.

"Anyways, its good to see that just because things are bad that you didn't lose your spirit..." At this the crowd became quiet.

"It's no secret that we've fallen on some hard times, there are a lot of people out there who are afraid of what the next day will bring...but just because things are bad doesn't mean that you throw in the towel at the first sign of distress, you can't just quit when life knocks you down, sure bad things will happen, but you have a choice, you can either lay down and take a beating, or you can get back up and continue to fight for whats right, the choice is yours...and it always will be. And no one can take tha away from you."

With that all said, the crowd couldn't help but give Jem an applause, his words while not the most eloquent were meaningful. With that done, Jem exited off the stage and went straight into the back while Onyx began doing a small intermission song.

( Play Electro Swing Peggy Suave- "Keep A-knockin")

When Jeremiah got to the back, he found Dandy, Soul and Coral taking amongst themselves, that is until Dandy's ear twitched and he turned to see Jem walkingto then.

"Ah must say Jem, those words of yours truly did mean a lot! Especially to me! Ya know, if the army business don't work out for yah, ah'm sure the people will love the songs you may have ta offer! Speaking of which, we thought that you may be perfect to sing this one song ah got off yah scroll."

It was then that Dandy showed him the song that they had in mind, and it definitely surprised him on what they chose.

"Oh hey, I know this song...why did you choose this one?" Jem wasn't sure why they picked this one up.

"Well, when we were going through your scroll..." Soul started.

"Wait, what?"

"I mean going through your music selection on your scroll." Soul realized that he made that sound a little creepy.

"Anyways, the point is, I liked the sound of it, it gave me a pleasant vibe."

"...You're not going all new age hippy on me are you?"

"The heck is a hippy?"

"Never mind, anyways, I can do this." Jem was feeling confident in himself now.

"Yeah the cover art for the album is pretty interesting too, reminds me of my semblance."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind we have to get back on stage."

"You'll find out if we ever have a spar."

With a nod from Jem, all four made their way back on stage, the donation counter was already well past 480,000, roughly at 488,536 Lien. They were so close to their goal one last song and that should do it!

"Wonder what final song they're gonna play?" Ruby questioned as they were setting up the stage for the final act.

Soul put his hood back on and for some reason his left eye was glowing slightly red, and a small part of his face near that eye could not be seen due to a dark shadow obscuring the view, whether it was the hood or not, it was really hard to tell, not to mention the small smirk he had as his fingers kept nearing the guitar strings almost like he was...excited? He must really want to play this final song.

Onyx was sitting down for the first time since he was playing his own weapon, from what people could make out, a cover opened up and what looked to be piano keys peeking out of the side could be seen.

Coral in the back had a giant drum placed in front of him, wait…when did they get that?

Suddenly multiple people in black suits carrying different sorts of musical instruments, chairs, and a small bag appeared out of nowhere.

Maestro was the one who was leading them and they started setting up for who knows what…

From What Jeremiah saw, the items that were taken out of the bag the group carried was a strand and a musical sheet, wait if they were going to going to play THAT song how the hell did they have music sheets already for this song?!

"Dude, what is this?"

"We got a bunch of people to help us with this!"

"….How far ahead do you plan this?"

Dandy gaining a nervous look, rubbed his head in embarrassment "Uh well yah see heheh, ah may have asked Maestro to help us out with tha song after we first heard it ah while back, its one of the main reasons he was back stage earlier since he was letting us know that he had everything ready to play, all we needed was you really." Dandy said letting out one more nervous laughter.

"You know, screw it, I'm not even gonna question this anymore."

With everything now set up onstage Dandy stepped up to the side mic while Jem stood in front of Dandy's cane that was being used as the main mic. It was then that Dandy addressed the crowd and the people watching this live brodcast

"Sorry about tha wait everyone, but with this being the final song of tha night, we thought we would make this final performance of the concert ah big one! If silence had a sound this would be it! Jem.." turning to his left to look at Jem and giving him a toothy grin.

"Take it away!"

Jem rolled his eyes at Dandy before turning back to the crowd.

"Okay guys, I got to be honest, this is kind of catching me off guard. I was only expecting to do one song tonight. But I suppose I can do with one more." At this the crowd cheered.

"Woah hey now, save the cheers for later, got to see if I suck or…" Jem suddenly saw a bra thrown up on stage.

"…..Whoever threw the bra onstage with my name written on it, I am happily engaged, so I will not take it."

"WHY NOT A THREESOME?!" A person yelled from the crowd.

"…..Uhm Well…"

"THE ANSWER IS NO!" Winter yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I was going to say that!" Jem yelled to his fiance.

"You were taking too long!"

"Come on! It caught me off guard! It's not like I was considering it!"

The crowd just looked at the two bantering back and forth.

"The point is we're happily engaged, and I will have to humbly decline the offer." He said loud and clear.

"Lets just get on with the song."

The music started with a soft tone, a huge shift from Jem's earlier song that was more upbeat and full of life. This one took on a more somber tone.

(Playe Disturbed: Sound of Silence)

 **Hello, darkness, my old friend.** **  
** **I've come to talk with you again** **  
** **Because a vision softly creeping,** **  
** **Left its seeds while I was sleeping.**

Now this was something new. Again, it was a tremendous tonal shift from Jem's earlier song. And his voice seemed to take on a deeper and softer tone. As if this song was meant to be more depressing and tug at the heart strings. It was actually slight unsettling.

RWBY knew this song from Earth. Originally done by Simon and Garfunkel. But personally they liked the Disturbed version better.

Maybe because Simon and Garfunkel looked so strange.

Don't let Jem hear you say that, he wasn't a fan of Simon and Garfunkel, but they made good music at times.

 **And the vision that was planted in my brain** **  
** **Still remains** **  
** **Within the sound of silence.**

 **In restless dreams I walked alone.** **  
** **Narrow streets of cobblestone** **  
** **'Neath the halo of a street lamp.** **  
** **I turned my collar to the cold and damp**

The crowd was mostly silent, most choosing to watch as the show went on, with a few people swaying to weren't exactly sure what the message was. But one thing was for sure, it was almost like this song was meant as a tribute to those who died.

 **When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light** **  
** **That split the night** **  
** **And touched the sound of silence.**

 **And in the naked light I saw** **  
** **Ten thousand people, maybe more.** **  
** **People talking without speaking.** **  
** **People hearing without listening.**

No one was talking as the song went on. In reality they weren't sure what to make of it, but it invoked in them a deep sense of longing and wishing for the days before the Vale attacks. A time where they didn't have to be living in fear of what may happen the next day.

What if Atlas was next?

Vacuo?

Mistral?

How could they be sure they were safe?

 **People writing songs that voices never share.** **  
** **And no one dare** **  
** **Disturb the sound of silence.**

 **"Fools," said I, "You do not know:** **  
** **Silence, like a cancer, grows.** **  
** **Hear my words that I might teach you.** **  
** **Take my arms that I might reach you,"**

Silence like a cancer grows? What did that mean? Did that mean the more they remained silent, the more danger they were in? If no one stood up for something and fought for something, did that mean that the terrorist attacks would continue.

For Jem, that was true. He had seen what happened when you let an enemy fester and grow. And then they became a problem the whole world has to deal with it.

He was hoping that Remnant wouldn't make that mistake.

 **But my words like silent raindrops fell** **  
** **And echoed in the wells of silence.**

 **And the people bowed and prayed** **  
** **To the neon god they made.** **  
** **And the sign flashed out its warning** **  
** **In the words that it was forming.**

 **And the sign said,** **  
** **"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls** **  
** **And tenement halls.** **  
** **And whispered in the sound of silence."**

The song came to a close as the crowd remained silent. Everyone digesting what they heard. In truth they weren't sure how they should feel. The song was fantastic, but the emotions they felt throughout it was something they weren't expecting.

"Uhm, you guys alright?" Jem asked as he was worried.

Suddenly the crowd one by one starting cheering for the group. Specifically for Jem.

"Huh, how about that, next time I'm playing Red like Reagan." Suddenly Jem caught on to what he said.

"Oh? Next time?" Dandy teased.

"Shut up Dandy."

With that the group went backstage as Dandy addressed the crowd.

"Well everyone, look up at the counter!" He said as everyone turned to the lien counter.

Not only had they reached their goal. They had actually surpassed it by 20,000 lien.

"Hang on Jem!" Dandy grabbed him by the collar.

"Hey!" The crowd laughed at the antics of the two.

"Why don't you say a few words?"

Jem looked out towards the crowd as he took a deep breath.

"Well everyone, look at that, seems like we not only reached our goal, but we actually got a little more while we were at it." The crowd cheered at that.

"I just want to say thank you for everyone's support. Wish there was more we could do, but seems like we've done our part, now its time for the rest of the world to see what they can do." He said as Dandy leaned over to him.

"Oh I forgot…this was being recorded, so chances are people are going to be listening to your singing on repeat."

"…..Damn I'm so glad I didn't suck." The crowd laughed at that.

"Anyways, good night everybody, have a safe ride home." Jem left the crowd as they cheered his exit.

"Hey Jem, can you do me a favor?" Soul asked as Jem nodded.

"Yeah sure whats up?"

"Could you give this to Weiss?" Soul handed him an evelope.

"Uh, what fo-" Suddenly Jem found a nice sum of Lien in his hand.

"I'll pay for your silence."

"…..Fair enough." Jem pocketed the letter.

Meanwhile back in Salem's tower, she was feeling something she never had before.

If one was to look closely, they would see an amazing sight, a fantastic sight, a sight that may as well have been impossible.

The Grimm Queen Salem.

Hater of Humanity.

Ruler of the Grimm.

Harbinger of War.

Was blushing.

She was blushing like a maniac at not only Jem but his singing voice. Watching him leave, she whispered to herself.

"You…will…be…mine…"

After all, she donated that extra 20,000 dollars to that stupid event because of his voice.

She wanted her money's worth.

* * *

 **MEANWHILE BACK AT JEM AND WINTER'S ROOM**

"Man that was something." Jem said as he laid down exhausted.

"Yeah, but you did pretty good tonight." Winter said from the bathroom.

"Yeah, still was a bit nervous, really didn't like how Dandy didn't tell me until then that I was doing two songs." Jem said as he was laying back in bed.

"What are you doing in there?" He asked as Winter sure was spending a lot of time in the bathroom.

"It's a surprise." She said as Jem sighed.

"What do you mean?" Suddenly he heard the sound of the door open.

And his eyes went wide as his jaw dropped.

Winter had let her hair down. But that wasn't the only thing. Atop her head was some sort of crown of spikes, almost like an upside down visor. Her breasts were exposed to the world in a neck while a slit in her long flowing green dress popped out like a invitation. She had two objects in her hand. One was a torch which she was holding high in her right hand. And the second was a tablet with an inscription on it.

"No….way….." Jem's brain needed a moment to reboot.

"Do you know how hard it was to put together a Sexy 'Lady Liberty' costume? And do you know how awkward it is for your mother to help you?" Winter still blushed in embarassment at the moment.

"…." Jem was silent.

"Hello? Jem?" She was confused.

Didn't he fantasize about this once?

BOING!

"Wow….what just happened?" Winter was shocked at how fast it appeared.

"…..Freedom Boner…"

 **In the living Room of the house they were staying in**

"Huh? Whats that?" Qrow asked as he heard music playing.

" _ooohhh say can you seeeeeeee…"_ Some strange music was coming from Jem and Winter's room.

"Shhh, just let it happen." Willow smirked as she led Qrow to their room.

Meanwhile, Nala was left in the room with the latest gaming system, a ton of snacks, and a gaming headset.

"Git Gud!" She yelled as she was currently playing some new game.

To her left, a giant bowl of doritos.

To her right, a giant bottle of mountain dew.

Nobody would get any sleep tonight.


	103. Shotgun Wedding

***JC of the corn is shown at home holding up a few papers***

 **JC: Aaahhh, I can't believe after wanting this for so long, I'm finally going to join the Army.**

 ***Winter walks in***

 **Winter: At least you probably won't end up like Jem.**

 **JC: WHAT THE HELL?! WINTER?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!**

 **Winter: I don't know, now why don't we take a look at your contract, I bet you didn't make the same mistake Jem did.**

 ***Hides the contract behind his back***

 **JC:Uhm, I can't show you.**

 **Winter: Why not?**

 **JC: I think thats a violation of government rules or something like that.**

 **Winter:...Show me the damn contract.**

 **JC: I don't wan-**

 ***She snatches it out of his hand***

 **Winter: YOU SIGNED ON TO BE INFANTRY?!**

 **JC:...They gave me an enlistment bonu-**

 **Winter: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!**

 **JC:...I wanted to do th-**

 ***She hands the contract back***

 **Winter: Seriously, he made that joke in the story because he did that in real life?**

 ***JC puts his contract away***

 **JC: Geez.**

 **Well guys, that pretty much sums up what I'm going to do. Now, unlike Jem I actually chose to go infantry, but I figured I couldn't help but make the joke while I still can.**

 **Anyways, I still have some time left, but I don't know how much I'll be able to update before I go.**

 **I'll tell you this much, I have had multiple thoughts since finalizing my contract and getting my ship date. One was 'Holy shit, holy shit, what have I done?' The other was 'FUCK YEAH!' and the third was 'Just relax, you've wanted this for a long time.'**

* * *

The sun was shining through the window onto a rather strange sight. A costume torch was stuck in the wall, apparently from being thrown into it at high speeds. A crown of spikes was currently on the ceilings, almost as if it had been launched up due to immense thrusts up and down. One could not tell. The bed sheets were crumpled and a mess as two lumps slept huddled close together as they woke up.

"Ooooohhh, If I had known that fulfilling your little fantasy would make you THAT energetic, I would have done it months ago." Winter moved a bit as she sucked in a breath of air at feeling a bit of pain in her legs.

She was still sore from last night.

"Well, it was FAN….TAST…..IC…" Jem woke up and placed his hands behind his head.

"I don't think I've ever seen you that excited before." Winter placed her head on his chest as they laid in bed.

"I'm a patriot who just got to sleep with a beautiful woman dressed as the statue of liberty, the only thing that could make this any better was if I had an apple pie, and The Patriot was on the tv." He suddenly noticed Winter smirked.

"What?" Why was she smirking.

Suddenly she pulled out an apple pie from absolutely no where.

"Grandmama dropped this off, said you would need it after last nights show." Jem swore to god, if he wasn't already going to marry this woman, he would wife her so HARD right now.

"And The Patriot?" Also known as Braveheart part 2.

"Look at the TV." She said as sure enough, he saw it playing.

"….Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He asked as she smiled.

"One more time couldn't hurt." She said sarcastically.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE AMERICA." Jem said as Winter felt like crying.

If he said that he loved you almost as much as he loved America, than he truly did love you.

"Well you can do me one favor, next time you're going to….stick it there…" Winter blushed at the memory.

"Please don't yell 'Remember the Alamo' when you stick it in the other hole." Winter couldn't believe she let him do that.

More worringly, she couldn't believe she LIKED it.

"Heh, sorry honey, sometimes the freedom just builds up in me until it explodes."

"So I could tell." She then stood up from the bed as she got to putting her clothes back on.

"Now come on, we have to get some breakfast, than we have to get back to our military responsibilities." She placed her thong back on as Jem raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, I forgot, so what do I do under you exactly?" Suddenly Winter smirked.

"Well if you must know, usually you moan and-" Suddenly Jem cut her off.

"Hey, I'm the one who gets to be a smart ass." He had to admit though, he did love how she was when they were alone.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" The door slung open.

"JESUS!" Winter dived back under the covers as Jem covered himself.

"What's going on?" Nala asked as she was staring at them with wide eyes.

"Er, nothing Nala, we were just talking." Jem tried to salvage the situation.

"Why is mommy almost naked?" Nala asked pointing to the fact Winter was hiding her nude body with the blanket.

"Her clothes got dirty!" Jem quickly shot back.

"But her clothes are over there in a neat pile…." Nala pointed out.

Shit, this was not going well.

"Uhm, we were just getting out of the shower!"

"But you don't look wet, and why would you shower together?"

Damn it, this girl was going to….wait, what the hell happened to Nala?

"Nala, you don't look so good…" Jem pointed to her.

Sure enough, Nala's bright blond hair looked like it became duller, her eyes were bloodshot, and her mouth was covered in dorito dust. She was also wearing a belt with what appeared to be bottles of mountain dew attached to it.

"Oh! Neo gave me a new game to play! And I stayed up all night playing it!" She said as Jem looked at his disapprovingly.

"Nala…..your bedtime was at 8:30."

"But it was so fun! And I couldn't sleep!" She said through a grin.

"What game did Neo gave you?" Jem was wondering why Neo gave her a game.

"Oh this fun game! Battlefield 1!" At this Jem sighed.

Really Neo? Really? Giving his daughter an M rated game set during one of the most brutal times in Earth's history? Don't get him wrong, he loved the game, but seriously.

"Just forget about it, she's not going to remember this in a second." Jem noticed Winter's confused expression.

"What do you mean?" Seriously why would Nala forget something like that.

"What comes up…." All of a sudden Nala passed out on the ground.

"Must come down, she just spent the last nine to ten hours gaming while running on doritos and mountain dew. She has to crash sometime, and she'll probably forget all about it soon enough."

"….Sugar high crashes don't result in memory loss."

"It always did for me."

"That's because you mixed mountain dew with alcohol."

"Oh….right…"

"Hey, shouldn't you two be getting ready?" Qrow asked as he walked into the room.

"Dad! Privacy! And what are you talking about?" Why was everyone barging into his room.

"….You two didn't seriously forget did you?" Willow pointed out as the two lovers were still confused.

"Forget what?"

"…They actually forgot…." Qrow was laughing at this point.

"FORGOT WHAT?!"

"Your wedding is today."

….

….

….

"Oh shit…."

 **Cristofer**

"Fuck that sucked." Cristofer couldn't believe he actually made the swim to another place. It probably wasn't Atlas but at least it wasn't the island of horny female cannibals who were carrying his children.

Granted he knew it could be worse, he could have actually been eaten by them. Would they eat every single part? Obviously they looked like a tribe that made use of every single bit and piece of whatever they hunted. So would that mean they would eat his dick too?

He shivered at the thought and went back to laying on the beach he was on.

He just wanted to go home, drink beer, and smoke pot. Why couldn't he do that?

Right now he just felt like sleeping for the next few days. But he couldn't do that yet, after all he needed to find out where he was, for all he knew he could be on another island with those crazy pregnant ladies. Or he could have made a turn in the middle of his swim and ended right back where he started.

"Uhm, are you okay Mister?" A voice said as he opened his eyes to look up.

Only to see a woman with a tiger tail.

"Just please….tell me where I am…." He had no fight left in him.

"You're on Menagerie, why are you so wet? Did you fall overboard or something?"

"Kid….you have no idea what I've been through in the past week."

"You look like crap, I can give you that."

"Just tell me one thing, where is the nearest bar? I need a drink or six."

"Down that way." She pointed east.

"Thank you, also do you know if Marijuana is legal here?"

"Marijuana? Whats that?"

At this Cristofer's blood froze.

"…..You….You don't have that?"

"Nope, Is that some kind of fancy plant from Atlas."

It was then Cristofer realized….

He was in a horrible…..horrible world.

"FFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!" He yelled out in agony.

How could his life get any worse? First, he was forced to go watch Amy Schumer live, which was the equivalent of dragging your testicles across burning coals. Then he got transported to this shithole. Then he was a fugitive from justice. Then he was tortured with home made pornos being filmed right below him. Then he had to escape a ship on a jetski. And then he thought he finally got a break with that island of sexy warriors. But then they tried to eat him. And worst of all, there was NO WEED FOR HIM TO SMOKE!

"I hate this place, I hate it so much…."

 **LATER**

"How could I have forgotten?!" Winter couldn't believe she had forgotten that today was the day of their wedding!

But everything had been so busy lately it was hard to keep track! First they had to prepare for the show! Then there was making sure Jem was getting used to being in her squad. And then there was trying to find a place for Nala to go to school, which they both agreed to home school her. Because in Jem's words, he wasn't going to let some hippy teacher brainwash his little girl. She did have to remind him that they didn't have hippies here, so Nala was safe in that regard, but in the end they had to go with homeschooling because of the fact that when she wasn't with them, they could assign some of the best tutors.

Jem also made a point that Nala should have American history classes with his dad for some reason. But what the hell, she put that in.

So between the concert, figuring out Nala's schooling, and finding some new activities for her to do in her free time so she wouldn't be cooped up inside all day. It had been a busy week. So maybe that was why she had forgotten.

And now here she was in a wedding dress, getting ready for the biggest day of her life.

And panicking because it was also a scary event.

"Oh I hope Jem is doing better than me." Winter said to herself as her mother was lacing up the back of her dress.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, he jumped into a Grimm's mouth, how scared could he be?"

 **Meanwhile with Jem**

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, what have I done? Holy shit." Jem was pacing back and forth in suit with an American flag pocket square.

"I thought you were excited for this?" Qrow asked as he drank some moonshine and then passed the jug to Dale.

"I am! And it's also scaring the shit out of me!" Jem defended himself since marriage was a huge decision.

"And why can't I have any booze?"

"Because you need to be completely sober for the wedding, it's the reception you can get drunk as hell at." Dale smirked as he knew his son didn't like to be seperated from Mr. Booze.

"Sorry, its just, I completely forgot about this, and its actually kind of freaky now that it's happening." He breathed in and out trying to relax.

"Look kid, think of it this way, you get to spend the rest of your life with the woman you love, not a lot of guys can say they have that in life." Qrow said as he took a sip of booze.

"It's just, I never expected I would get married, and If I did, it was usually at the barrel of a shotgun because I accidentally knocked up the farmer's daughter." Jem was being completely honest.

That was how his cousin was conceived. Sex in a cornfield with the farmer's daughter. And let me tell you, that marriage was still going strong. The point was he never in a million years imagined this was what his wedding would be like. Getting married to a fictional character from an awesome web series. Who could have guessed that?

Although granted she wasn't fictional but…..oh who was he kidding, he was getting married! Who cared about if it was formerly fictional or not? Jem decided not to think too much about it, especially since thinking was more Winter's thing, he just decided to go with shoot first, shoot some more, and then later when everyone was dead, try to figure out what the hell was going on.

"So how do I look?" Jem asked as he wasn't allowed to wear his camouflage suit.

"Looking sharp, now if only you didn't look like some sort of dumb ass hillbilly you would be perfect." Qrow quipped as both Dale and Jem glared at him.

"Uh, news flash Qrow, we are a bunch of dumb ass hillbillies." Jem pointed out as Qrow shrugged his shoulders.

"Anyways just get on out there, we should be getting the ceremony taken care of, and then we can all get to the drinking." At this all three men cheered.

Ahhhh, Alcoholism, it was so beautiful….

And actually a very serious thing in real life kids. Seriously I may drink, but in moderation.

Drink responsibly people.

Drink responsibly.

 **With Salem**

Salem was sitting in her room all alone. Watching the video of Jem singing over and over again. The more and more she learned about him, the more her attraction grew. His viscious savagery over Tigerstripes death was breathtaking, but learning he had this strange sensitive side to him was even more surprising. The way his voice sounded as he went through the lyrics and music. Almost like he was born to do it.

She found her face heating up again at seeing his face. How? How did this man manage to do what many men with a fetish for goth chicks could never do in the past three hundred years? How the hell did this man do it? And she knew the answer. He did it because he didn't try to. He had no idea that he had captured her black heart. He had no idea that she felt her womanhood moisten at him.

Course that may have been because of the guitar and singing. Because lets face it, you could be the ugliest fucker on the face of the earth, but as soon as you got a guitar out, legs would open for you like Kim Kardashian at a rap concert.

The point was, music did a lot to a woman if they were already interested in you. And Jem had no idea the impact he had made on the Grimm Queen. One thing was for sure, she was going to make him HERS.

And nothing would stop her! Nothing!

"MISTRESS! JEREMIAH COTTON IS GETTING MARRIED!" Tyrian barged into her room as she screamed and covered her nude body and turned the tv off.

"Mistress! Jeremiah Is about to marry Winter Schnee!" Tyrian was certain that would take Jem out of the equation.

What he wasn't expecting was the dark look Salem got in her eyes.

"Tyrian…..get out…." She said quietly as she was still covering herself with her bed sheets.

"But Mistress, I thought you might want to-" Suddenly Salem Screamed.

"GET OUT!" Suddenly a force knocked Tyrian out of the room as the doors slammed shut behind him.

Salem gripped her sheets hard at this revelation. This did make things problematic, but not impossible. After all, a marriage had one clause that could be exploited 'Til Death do us part.' And she was certain that Miss Schnee had many enemies indeed. So she could work with this to her advantage.

One thing was for sure, she would make Jeremiah hers….it was only a matter of time.

Meanwhile Tyrian was gigglign at causing this. But for completely different reasons, he was certain if he told his mistress that the bastard was getting married that she would leave it alone. And now she would come back to him and they could go back to the way things were before! It would be grand! It would be fun! It would be-

Suddenly Salem emerged from the room completely dressed much to Tyrian's disappointment.

"Tyrian….." She said in a quiet tone.

"Yes Mistress?" He asked eager to hear her response.

"Call our contacts in the white fang, I want Winter Schnee's head in front of me." Wait, that didn't sound right.

"But uhm, Mistress…." Tyrian didn't expect this.

"I want her dead! Do you understand?!" Her eyes flashed red as Tyrian backpedaled a bit.

"Y-Yes Mistress." He had to admit, he may have been crazy, but Salem was scary.

"Good, now leave me." She walked back into her room and picked up the picture of Jeremiah again.

Leaving Tyrian alone with his thoughts….

….

….

….

"SON OF A BITCH I MADE IT WORSE!"

 **At the wedding**

Winter had to admit, she was expecting a lot of things. She was expecting Qrow and Dale to be drunk by now. Which they were. She was expecting Weiss to be smiling but also glaring at Jem if he did something stupid. Which she was. She was even expecting Jem to have one bit of American apparel on him, which he did with the American flag pocket square.

What she wasn't expecting was for him to actually be dressed as sharp as possible. She honestly thought he would show up in jeans and a denim jacket. But no, he was actually in a black suit and tie, she had to admit it was kind of nice.

"I honestly expected you would be dressed simpler." She whispered to Jem.

"I figured you would kick my ass if I did that."

"I would not."

"Are you sure?"

"…Okay possibly."

"You nervous?"

"Remember the time I worried for you because of the injuries you got in the fall of beacon?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm more worried now than I was now."

"Just relax, we love each other right?"

"Of course."

"So nothing to worry about."

"True…..still nervous."

"So am I."

"ANNNDDD HERE WE GO!" Grandmama came out of nowhere wearing a preachers robe.

"What? Grandmama?" Winter was shocked at this.

"I will not let my grandson be married without a catholic sendoff!" At this Jem snickered.

"Sorry, Grandmama is much more religious than me, and apparently she actually convinced the catholic church to make her an ordained minister."

"…..Your Grandmother is amazing."

"I know, this is almost as great as the time we found out what her semblance was." Jem smirked at the memory.

In truth, his Grandmama had actually somehow managed to activate her Aura though sheer willpower as soon as she landed in Remnant. And her semblance manifested almost instantly. It took them a while to figure it out, but it wasn't until they had a conversation did they realize what it was.

You see, before Grimm would dissolve into smoke when they died. But ever since Grandmama arrived, they could be harvested for meat.

In other words, Grandmama's semblance was turning Grimm edible….

And it was a beautiful thing.

"Enough! On with the wedding." Jem and Winter tuned out the more long winded stuff as they looked at each other.

They took each others hands as they looked into each others eyes. Jem had to step on a box because Winter was wearing heels, so he had to get a bit of a boost. This caused a few snickers from the people in attendance.

Little Neo was sitting next to Jameson and was inching closer and closer as he was trying not to look like the girl who was trying to hug his arm was trying to come onto him. He still hadn't gotten over the whole 'she's a grown woman' yet. Speaking of which.

"I'm…..I'm so confused…." Sherry couldn't believe she was at her brother's wedding.

She couldn't believe he was marrying a fictional character.

She couldn't believe they were in another world.

And she couldn't believe it wasn't butter.

Taniqua however was left at the hotel because she kept saying. 'I told yo mothafuckin ass that we was gonna get kidnapped!'

So she needed time to calm down.

On the other hand, Sherry was getting awfully close to Torchwick who did not like the way she was looking at him.

" _This girl is weird."_ Torchwick thought as Sherry was staring at him.

"Would you like to exchange vows?" Grandmama said as the couple nodded.

Winter decided to go first.

"I promise to love you without condition. To be there for you everyday. At nightfall and at dusk. During rain or shine, to be there for you through the good and the bad. I promise that no mater what, I'll be there by your side." Hers was pretty standard.

Especially since neither her nor Jem were one for complex wedding vows.

"I promise to love you without condition. To be your shield when danger comes. To be your light when darkness falls." Jem's was much shorter, and Winter had a weird feeling about this.

"And…..I promise to….love you as much as my country, and hold you as much as my rifle." A normal person would have found this stupid.

But Winter….she knew how important America and his gun was.

In other words, the honeymoon was going to be…EPIC.

"YAAY!" Nala got up and cheered.

"Nala we're not married yet." Both of them said.

"Woops, too early?" She sat back down.

"Does anyone have any objections?" Grandmama said as everyone looked around.

Not a word.

"Very well, by the power invested in me, by the good lord Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you man and wife." Grandmama finished as Winter smirked.

She then grabbed Jem, twirled him around and had him in her arm as she leaned down and capture him in a kiss.

"Woah…" Qrow was not expecting that.

"She really went for it."

"WOO HOOO!" Nala cheered as her parents were now officially married.

Winter pulled him back up as they seperated from the kiss. He was still in a bit of a daze because wow, Winter was really going for it there.

"So, to the reception?" Jem asked as she nodded.

"I don't see why-" Suddenly he picked her up bridal style.

"Jem!"

"Hey you caught me off guard with the kiss, its My Turn now."

Meanwhile in another dimension, a little rabbit faunus sneezed at someone using their title as a joke.


	104. Wedding Song (Short)

**Well I am surprised that I actually managed to write this before I leave. Well guys the day is here, tomorrow I leave for the army. I'll be staying in a hotel on monday, and then I ship out on Tuesday. From there its off to basic for maybe about two months, and then after that to AIT until maybe March, depends on when I get started.**

 **Well, we all knew this day was coming. But now that its here, I can't believe it. All my life I wanted to serve, and I'm finally going to do it. Don't worry, I'll still check in, but I have a duty to do, so I won't be writing or updating as much.**

 **So as of now, my stories will be going on Hiatus.**

* * *

 **Meanwhile in a cave somewhere**

A woman was sitting down after a long day of killing things. Another day of securing a future for her tribe, ensuring their survival for a short time until they had to fight again, now it was time to relax. Luckily the cave she was staying in currently had a generator hooked up, so if she wanted to, she could have some more modern comforts. Hence the fact that she was now pulling a strawberry daquiri out of a fridge, and turning on the tv.

Most people who knew her would be surprised by the sight.

A woman who is part of a tribe of killers drinks strawberry daiquiris? Wow…

But Raven didn't care. She turned on the tv, unknown to most people, she did actually enjoy this modern comfort. Mostly to see how soft the rest of the world had gotten. That made her realize that her tribe was going to survive while the city folk grew soft and complacent. Most of the time, the news on the screen didn't concern her, and she only used it to laugh at the people that watch this expecting to be informed. She took a sip of her drink as she listened to the broadcast.

" _In recent news, a new name and face has recently performed with Team DSCO at a charity concert for Vale. Reports coming in that new singer Jeremiah Branwen….."_ At this Raven's eyes went wide as she turned around and looked at the screen.

"Branwen?" That couldn't be right.

Nobody of her tribe used the same name as her. Her parents were gone. And the only one with her last name was Qrow. And there was no way that he could-

" _It's time we go back to hanging them high."_ The man on the screen sang as she took a good look at him.

"…It can't be…" Raven said to herself as she was very skeptical.

She took a quick look at his eyes, they were blue, not red like the rest of her tribe. He shaved his head, so it was hard to see if he had the same black hair that was also common in the tribe. And his face was covered by a beard, which again made it hard to check out his facial features. Then she took a picture of his face. She walked over to her portable laptop and opened up a file.

She pulled up her old team picture and compared the now named Jeremiah to her brother on the screen. She took a quick glance at Jem, then at Qrow, then at Jem, and back to Qrow.

After a few moments of observing she put the phone down and let out a deep breath.

"Qrow….you….idiot…"

She picked up her sword and got ready to leave.

She needed to have a chat with her brother.

 **With Team RWBY**

"I can't believe it! Can you believe it Yang! Our Cousin just married Winter! That means Weiss is family now!" Ruby was so excited, Weiss was her best friend, and now she was technically a relative! It was amazing! SO AMAZING!

"Easy Ruby, she would still technically be a distant cousin at most I believe." Yang honestly wasn't sure. She didn't know if that would make them cousins in law or something else.

"Who cares?! I'm celebrating!" Ruby was on a bit of a sugar high.

When they got to the reception, they found out that the caterers Winter had sought out had really done a good job. At first Team RWBY was worried that it was going to be all prim and proper because Winter was in charge of it. But she actually did something completely different. While there was a part of the reception hall that was more proper and filled with fine dishes, there was also a second part of it that was filled with more common food and drink that she requested as a favor for Jeremiah. And she also made sure to have casks of whiskey brought out for him and his family. In other words, Jem was SO glad he wifed her.

Granted he wasn't allowed to drink himself into a stupor, he promised Winter he wouldn't get drunk on their wedding night, but he was allowed a glass or two. Meanwhile, Qrow wasn't allowed to drink more than a glass because Jem promised his new wife that he would keep an eye on Qrow and make sure he wasn't drinking too much.

"Hey, where is Weiss?" Yang asked as Weiss wasn't with them.

"She should be in the coat room." Ruby opened the door.

"Weiss! Come on! Join the pa….whats that?" Ruby sped over and snatched a letter from Weiss's hand.

"HEY! RUBY!" Weiss tried to snatch the letter back, only for her efforts to be in vain.

Ruby was currently zipping around the room away from Weiss as she read the letter. Her face took on a look of surprise, but then she had a grin that grew bigger and bigger.

"OOOOOHHH! LOOK! WEISS HAS AN ADMIRER!" Ruby started showing the letter to Blake and Yang.

"What? No way!" Yang snatched it from her hand.

"Let me see!"

"RUBY!" Weiss yelled as she snatched the letter from them.

She couldn't believe this! She was just reading the letter in peace! And then Ruby had to come and snatch it away! Why couldn't she mind her own business.

"Sorry Weiss! You're family now! That means we get to mess with you."

"What kind of family is that?!"

"THE BEST KIND!"

As the RBY of team RWBY was ganging up on Weiss. Jem and Winter were sitting at a table in the reception hall. Dandy an his team offered to do the music. So they didn't have to waste money on hiring a band. And he had to admit, it was nice to save money. Granted, both Jem and Winter were rich, so they could afford the finest stuff if they wanted, but as both learned, they were both cheap as hell.

"I can't believe we finally did it." Winter was smiling as she looked down at her wedding ring.

"You know, a few years ago, if you told me I was going to travel to Remnant, date Winter Schnee and eventually end up marrying her, I would probably laugh and say that would only happen in my most wildest fantasies." Jem joked as he still couldn't believe this.

"Your sister….seems…odd…." Winter pointed out how she was aggresively eating meat while gazing at Torchwick.

"Oh…yeah, well….my sister isn't exactly well rounded in social situations." Jem scratched the back of his head.

"Meaning?" Winter didn't understand what he was getting at.

"Well, you see how she's flirting with Roman?" Winter didn't see what Jem was implying.

"That's flirting? She's just staring at him while taking huge bites out of her meat."

"That's because when it comes to flirting, she's pretty much Tormund from Game of Thrones."

Winter just rolled her eyes at that. She appreciated the show, but Jem and his family were obsessed with it. Especially with the whole SUPPOSED Brienne/Tormund shipping. Seriously, he creepily looks at her once and that means they're going to bone?

Then again, all Winter had to do was give Jem bedroom eyes, and they would be stripped faster than an altar boy at the pope's house.

"Your parents are having fun…." Winter pointed to Ma and Pa who were currently square dancing.

"Grandmama is showing all the caterers how to cook." Jem pointed to various food carts appearing out of nowhere.

"And…..our parents are nowhere to be seen…." Winter couldn't find Qrow or Willow, and she was a little worried.

"Don't worry, they went to go supervise the wine casks."

"….Who would have thought alcoholism would be something to bond over?"

"….Winter…..you do realize who you're talking to right?"

"Okay, Point taken."

Suddenly he saw Dandy motion towards him.

"Oh by the way, I have a surprise for you." Jem stood up from the table.

"And what would that be?" Winter smiled as she was sure nothing he could do could shock her.

"Well, I may have told Dandy to help me with a request." He said as he held his hand out for her to take.

Winter raised an eyebrow. What could he have asked Dandy for? And why was she being led out onto the dance floor? Why was everyone suddenly giving them space. She had so many questions. All of a sudden she took notice of Jem's collar and how she saw a small mic attached to it.

"No way…" She said as a light shown on them.

"Hit it Dandy." To that, the lion faunus gave a thumbs up.

Music started to play as Winter felt like blushing as they started lightly dancing. Nothing crazy, bu something suitable for a wedding.

And then Jem started to sing.

*Play: Living our love song: Jason Michael Carrol*

 **Baby, when I look at you** **  
** **With your hair falling down in your baby blues** **  
** **Standing there across the room** **  
** **I get so lost in the way you move**

Winter had to admit, she was not expecting to hear this today. In fact, she was sure the band would take care of all the music. But the fact that Jem had actually chosen to sing for her personally was a treat.

And he even picked one of her favorite songs.

Which was weird, because he wasn't the biggest fan of Jason Michael Carroll because he wasn't sure what to classify him as.

 **It makes me reminisce, back to years ago** **  
** **On a night like this** **  
** **Teary-eyed, as you took my hand** **  
** **And I told you that I'd be your man** **  
** **So many things have come, so many things have gone**

She was being held close to him. His voice was strong, but it wasn't overpowering. He wasn't singing so that it sounded like he was yelling to her face. More like his voice was soothing and melodic. Course that may have been because he was trying really hard to make Winter happy and he didn't want to look like an idiot at the same time.

The things he did for love.

 **One thing that's stayed the same is** **  
** **Our love's still going strong**

 **Baby just look at us, all this time and we're still in love** **  
** **Something like this just don't exist between a** **  
** **Backwoods boy and a fairytale princess**

Winter had to let out a small giggle at that, of course most people would be surprised by their relationship, a member of a prestigious family with a redneck. It was certainly a point of amusement for some people.

 **People said it would never work out** **  
** **But living dreams, we shattered all doubts** **  
** **It feels good to prove 'em wrong** **  
** **Just livin' our love song**

He twirled her a bit as he finished the first chorus. The crowd was just watching as the two were dancing. This was their chance to sit back and watch how the couple interacted with each other. From the way the rough and tumble backwoods boy seemed to blend with the graceful dignity of the Schnee.

Although technically that would be Winter Schnee Cotton Branwen.

….Yeah she was going to have to shorten her name to something?

Maybe just Winter Branwen.

 **Oh darling, would you look at me** **  
** **With my heart beatin' fast, and my shakin' knees** **  
** **It's pretty hard to believe** **  
** **After all these years, I still need you this badly** **  
** **You're dancing in my arms** **  
** **With a spotlight moon in a sea of stars** **  
** **Oh girl we've come so far** **  
** **Everything I want is everything that you are** **  
** **Just wanna lay you down, say I love you** **  
** **Without a sound** **  
** **I think you know what I'm talkin' about**

Winter wasn't sure if he was being romantic or making a sex joke at the same time. From the way he sang. He obviously meant it with all the love he had.

Hence why he wiggled his eyebrows to also show that he was also making a sex joke.

Meh, she figured. She would be more disappointed if he didn't make a dick joke.

Even if it was under the radar.

 **Baby just look at us, all this time and we're still in love** **  
** **Something like this just don't exist between a** **  
** **Backwoods boy and a fairytale princess** **  
** **People said it would never work out** **  
** **But living dreams, we shattered all doubts** **  
** **It feels good to prove 'em wrong** **  
** **Just livin' our love song**

The song was coming to a finish as the two were coming closer together, their lips almost connecting as Jem seemed to almost whisper this last verse to her. Even though everyone could still hear them.

It was almost like they were in a bubble and nothing could get to them.

 **Baby just look at us, all this time and we're still in love** **  
** **Something like this just don't exist between a** **  
** **Backwoods boy and a fairytale princess** **  
** **People said it would never work out** **  
** **But living dreams, we shattered all doubts** **  
** **It feels good to prove 'em wrong** **  
** **Just livin' our love song**

As soon as he finished the final verse, he gave Winter a kiss, which got the attendees of the wedding clapping and hollering. Well the hollering was from Grandmama and Mama.

"JEM!" Momma yelled.

"What?"

"You can now ding ding because you have the wedding ring!"

"MOM!"


	105. Reception (Short)

**Hey guys, PVT. JC here typing on Family day from my break from OSUT. I completed the BCT portion and will be back to finish the AIT portion tomorrow. Which is going to suck. But it will be worth it.**

 **Anyways, it was hard for me to get through it. But I did, but I'm not done with training yet. While I have earned the black beret, and our drill sergeants are now actually calling us Soldiers. We have not finished all of OSUT. That will be when we finish our actual job training. But if I can get through 8-9 weeks of BCT, then these next four to five won't be a problem. I'm just looking forward to earning that blue cord.**

 **Anyways, this chapter will be short, as I have been meaning to spend most of my time with my family rather than on fanfiction. The one thing I learned was not to take things for granted, because let me tell you, being in basic, you think all about the little things that you can't have and can't do.**

 **Like, I got homesick because we only got our phones for a five minute phone call saying we arrived safe, and we gave our address, and the only times we got them back was when there were scheduled changes to our family day. And its the not knowing whats going on in the world that really gets to you. And you learn not to take anything for granted.**

 **Overall, I am glad I made this choice and look forward to advancing in my career.**

 **Anyways, once again, this chapter will be short. I missed my family too much to spend it all on my laptop.**

 **Oh and you may be wondering why I didn't list dates or names of what I am doing. Well because I'm not technically authorized to do that. Anyways, if you thought the drill sergeants Jem had were bad. Mine made his look like kittens.**

 **Seriously...so many pushups...bear crawling for hours...it...SUCKED.**

 **But it was worth it all.**

 **Oh one request guy, PLEASE don't post spoilers for RWBY volume 5, I haven't been able to watch it and most likely won't until I go home on leave for Christmas. Or until I get sent to my unit. So no spoilers please.**

* * *

"Well your sister appears to be getting closer to Roman." Winter pointed out from the reception table.

"More like he's trying to inch away from her." Roman did not appear to like the close contact.

"Same with your brother trying to scoot away from Neo." Seriously what was up with this family?

Either they were the one trying to get as close as possible to their crush, or they were trying to awkwardly scoot away from the person who was crushing on them. Hell, even Jem was awkward as hell when he first met Winter, but that was more due to the fact that he had trouble dealing with the fact that he was technically in love with a fictional character. Things really got weird. Add that on to his crazy antics and Winter's serious demeanor. Things were odd in the world.

"At least things are going well." Winter was just happy that things were starting to look up and relax.

After all the crazy shit that had been happening. She was glad to get a break from it all. Between Jem getting into a fight with Cinder, having to deal with a crazy furry, finding out Qrow was his father. It was nice to just have time to kick back and smell the roses. You often forget how nice it was to have that little moments that made life feel better. There are so many things you take for granted that you don't realize how important they are until you don't have them anymore.

And those were the moments you have to live for.

"Did you ever think we would make it this far?" Winter asked as Jem looked up for a second away from his food.

"Well, I'll be honest, the whole you going back home while I stayed in my world was a bit worrying when it had been a year when I had last seen you. But I always figured I would see you again." Jem remained a positive attitude towards the whole situation.

Especially since he wasn't sure what he would do with his life if Winter never came back? What if he ended up growing old without her? Not seeing her again until it was too late? He didn't want to think of the possibility. It wasn't something that he wanted to even cross his mind.

"Hey, look there go our parents into the…..coat room….." Jem suddenly ran over and pulled them out of the coat room.

Winter only saw him giving them a stern talking to. And suddenly they went back and sat back down at their table with a slightly disgruntled look on their faces.

"What was that about?" Winter asked as she didn't understand why he suddenly ran over to him.

"Well….you see I have a thing about a couple who go to the coat room at a wedding with grins on their faces, it usually means they're about to join what I have dubbed the coat room club, its like the mile high club, but its usually at a wedding, and you try not to get caught." Jem knew it happened at his cousins wedding.

Couples would try to have sex in the coat room without getting caught…..and three couples got caught….it was not a good day. Especially since he was only about twelve when he first walked in on that happening. Needless to say he had to see a therapist for a bit.

"….What's the mile high club?" Winter had never heard that phrase before.

"….Well, remember that time in the weapons room on that Atlesian airship? Think of it like that." Jem reminded her as it took a bit for Winter to catch on to what he was saying.

Her face went cherry red as she suddenly glared over at her mom and future step father.

"…..Good thing you stopped them…." She would hate to hear them when they…copulated.

Honestly she still couldn't believe Qrow and her mother were together, how did that happen? Then again, how did she end up dating a redneck version of Qrow? She wasn't sure, but things just happened. And sometimes they worked out for the best. You can't always plan life out by the book, sometimes you have to just go through life like a tumbleweed, letting the wind take you in whatever direction it blows.

Sometimes you were the knight in shining armor, other days you were the retard in tin foil.

"I still find it weird that you made a request for chicago style hot dogs to be included in the food section of our wedding." Winter couldn't believe the food he had requested the caterers make.

"I don't see anyone complaining; even Weiss seems to be enjoying it." He pointed to Weiss who was currently talking with Soul.

"And apparently she made a new friend." Winter would usually go into overprotective big sister mode, but today was a happy occasion, and she honestly didn't care about any of that stuff right now. She was married to the love of her life and she couldn't be happier.

"She seems to be blushing a lot." Jem couldn't believe that Ice Queen seemed to be enjoying the attention.

"Neptune is going to be jealous." Winter smirked at that thought.

"Uhm, yeah I don't think so." Jem chuckled a bit.

"What makes you think that?"

"Pretty sure Neptune is gay."

"…..Excuse me?"

"I mean, come on, his meticulous attention to fashion, his skin care routine, and the fact that he works on his hair religiously pretty much fit the stereotype." Jem pointed out the suspicions he had about Neptune.

"That could just mean he's metrosexual."

"He also spends all of his time around his best friend who is constantly showing off his abs."

"….I don't see what Sun's fashion choices have to do with this."

"Free eye candy."

"You're ridiculous." Winter was absolutely sure that Neptune was completely straight.

"May I also remind you of how he screamed like a little girl at the sight of water?"

"Oh come on, that could just be his phobia?"

"Yeah, but his scream sounds like every single gay diva stereotype in the movies."

"We're not in a movie."

"Yeah, but technically we are part of a web series?"

"…Still doesn't count."

"I'm just saying you never know."

"Well, I still think your proof is mostly based on stereotypes."

"Maybe it is, but you got to admit, its food for thought." In reality, Jem knew he was just messing with Winter, but overall, he did think Soul and Weiss would be a nice couple.

He didn't mind Neptune as a character, but he wasn't one of his favorites, but he had to admit, the trident laser gun combination was bad ass as hell. Still though, it did make him wonder. What time period was RWBY set in? Was it the distant future or near future? Because they had regular bullets but they also had laser weapons, why would they still use regular bullets if they had ray guns? Or were ray guns not perfected again? Did you see his confusion? It was something that had been bothering him for awhile.

"Anyways, lets just get back to enjoying our wedding." Jem said as they got ready to dance.

"Yeah, you're right, nothing could ruin th-" Suddenly she saw Jem disappear in a black portal.

"What the?" She blinked as she rubbed her eyes.

"JEM!" Suddenly she was worried as she saw him disappear.

 **OUTSIDE**

"What the? How did I get out here?" Jem asked as he noticed he was suddenly outside. How did he get here?

"Are you Jeremiah Branwen?" A voice said as he turned around and he suddenly knew why he was outside.

He turned to see the woman who was actually his Aunt. Raven Branwen. Damn, she was actually pretty tall and scary looking. And surprisingly hot. Oh god, why did he just think that? Wait….he just thought of something. His friends always used to look up Rule 34 of Raven back home.

Oh god, they were looking up porn of his aunt. And that suddenly made him feel really sick to his stomach.

"I am, and you must be my auntie!" Jem was honestly just saying that to annoy her.

"Don't….call…me…..that…." Raven said as she had her hand on her sword.

"Geez, not much for pleasantries are you, look can I go back inside, its my wedding and I would prefer to finish it." Jem honestly was only slightly drunk, and he figured Winter would be out any moment.

"No, I have questions and you're not leaving until they're answered." Raven said as Jem rolled his eyes.

"I'm only saying because you have no idea what my wife is going to do if she finds out you kidnapped me."

It was true, Winter did not like her toys being taken away from her. She could be very posessive. As Jem found out when he tried to take her ice cream, it was almost like ice cream was her version of Mr. Booze.

You did not mess with her ice cream. THAT WAS A RULE.

Only now, Raven was doing the one thing she shouldn't have.

She stole Winter's Hubby. So in other words, Jem was trying to save his aunt.

"I doubt your wife will be able to-" Suddenly a fist was launched from behind as Raven was sent into a building.

 **CRASH!**

"Huh….neat." Jem said as he saw Raven knocked out in a pile of rubble.

"That's…..mine…" Winter said as she was still in her wedding dress, there was hardly a mark on it.

"How long did it take you to find me?" Jem was shocked at how fast she was.

"Simple, I looked out the window." She pointed to the window up at the top of the building they were in.

"Wow…conveniant…." He said as he walked over to his aunt.

"This worked out pretty well…..I didn't have to answer any questions, Raven is knocked out, and now Yang can finally get some answers." Jem picked her up.

"Now lets tie her up and get back to our wedding."

"Where should we put her?" Winter honestly wasn't sure.

"Just throw her in the back of the limo."

"That seems a little sketchy."

"Yeah but it will be funny."


	106. What do we do? (Short)

**Hey guys, Spc. JC here, all out of training and sta** **tioned at Fort Campbell with the 101st Airborne. So FUCK YEAH. Seriously I was hoping I would get Air Assault school and the 101st in general, but you're randomly assigned and the fact I went to the duty station I wanted is awesome. Anyways time for a new chapter which I am typing from my phone.**

 **So sorry it's going to be short.**

 **Anyways some have been asking me how basic was, and we'll I thought I would tell you in story form, so here we go, all the shot Jen is about to go over is stuff that actually happened in OSUT.**

 **Basically everything he did or went through in this chapter actually happened to me.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

 **With Jem**

"I feel like that should have been much harder than it actually was." Jem honestly couldn't believe they currently had his aunt tied up and ball gagged.

Why a ball gag? Well because his dad gave that to him as a joke wedding present. Said he might need it in the days to come. It was fucking weird but who gives a shit. Still though he hoped Winter wasn't into the really kinky stuff, you can go past regular love making a few times, but Damon you don't want to go into the stuff that's more fucked up than hiring Casey Anthony as your babysitter. But wow, his aunt went down fast, either she was caught off guard or Winter was just that pissed off. And honestly he couldn't blame him, he was practically kidnapped from his own wedding.

So Raven was currently thrown in the back of the limo like Winter suggested. And Jen not wanting to make his new wife angry just went along with it. They did get a few weird looks when a few civilians saw what they were doing. Then again they turned a blind eye to it after Jem paid them off, which in reality should have made the situation worse, but For the sake of the plot, the author was just saying fuck it.

"Overall though, still a good wedding despite that interruption." Jem took another sip of moonshine.

"Nothing could ruin this day." Winter snuggled her head onto Jem's shoulder.

"Have I been issued a challenge?" Jem smirked.

"Shut up private." She said as she reminded her new husband who was boss.

"Dang it are you going to use that every time I say something you don't like?" He groaned as it was Winter's turn to smirk.

"Yes, remember what your first sergeant said?" She asked as Jem had a flashback.

" _Private, the fuck is wrong with your head, you look like a deformed alien fetus."_

"I meant besides that..." Winter groaned at her husband's memory of basic.

 _"Holy shit private, you're so dumb you could fall into a barrel of tits and come out with a mouthful of dick."_

"Not even close." Didn't Jem remember any of the lessons from basic?

all he could remember about the first sergeant was his insults. Because seriously first sergeant was fucking awesome when it came to insults.

" _Private if you don't stop asking about your phone call home I will make you call your mother and ask her why she didn't abort your retarded ass."_ Jem laughed at that memory.

One of the guys in his platoon was a real dumb ass, they couldn't pronounce his name so Jem just called him Louisiana. But damn this kid was dumb as shit. Seriously in training he managed to lose a whole flak jacket, two pairs of eye pro, a few mag pouches and his military id card.

One day a drill sergeant came out with a small beat up football helmet, gave it to the dumb ass and said...

 _"There you go Private fuckface now you look as retarded as you are."_ And then they made him say thank you in a voice that was meant to mimic a mentally challenged person.

Yeah, it was fucked up and funny at the same time.

"You know, basic sucked but I got to admit I'm going to miss some of the drill sergeants, their insult game was on point."

Seriously one time they got smoked by a drill sergeant who was walking around carrying a staff pretending to be Moses as he split the sea of privates. It was so hilarious that the platoon didn't even give a shit that they were doing push ups. It was worth it.

"The lesson I was talking about was how your first sergeant told you that no matter what you don't make a superior officer angry or annoyed." Winter did so enjoy being Jens commander. It gave her opportunities to screw with him.

The funny joking way, not the hot sexy way. Although that happened too.

"Damn it sucks being a private."

"Not if you're a POG." At this Jem's head snapped up and he barked out in anger.

"SCREW POGS." He yelled out as Winter rolled her eyes.

Typical infantry, mention the word pog and they lose their shit. He'll, Jen's Drill sergeants specifically made them sing cadences all about how if you weren't infantry, you weren't shit. Seriously they hated people other than grunts.

So now that the whole being a private sucked part it was time to get back to the plot. And by plot I mean the woman in the trunk.

"So what do we do about her?" Jem honestly didn't know what to think.

On one hand he got to meet his aunt, who was a bad ass in her own way. On the other she was also a member of a tribe of crazy people and bandits. So yeah that was crazy, on the other hand he did agree with his aunt on one thing. And it was something his dad would not like to hear.

That you needed to be strong in order to survive in this world, the weak would perish and the strong live on. But his from his aunt's. She believed the strong would always be strong, while Jen believed it was far more admirable for a weak man to prove himself and place in the world.

Raven believed that the strong worldviews kill the weak with no chance of survival. Jem believed a man could rise above his own weakness and become even stronger. What would be shameful would be knowing you were weak and choosing not to do anything. Either you're in the arena or you're a spectator. And as John Burk put it, stop with the bullshit excuses.

"Wanna draw a dick on her forehead?" Jem suggested as he held up a marker.

"...what is it with infantry and drawing docks everywhere?" Winter seasoned at the weird antics.

"We don't always draw dicks on everything." Jem tried to defend himself.

"Jem you sent me a letter with a drawing of a dick shooting missiles."

"This was just-"

"You also sent me a drawing of a dicks for blades and called it the helicockter."

"Hey that was fun-"

"And the dildozer."

"Bur-"

"The dick Dragon."

"Okay fine I get it!."

...

...

...

"But you didn't say no."

"Have fun my little PFC."


	107. Tied up with Tropes (Short)

**Well guys, I managed to get my Holiday Block Leave after all, I flew home on the 23rd, and I go back to base on the 29th, which is good, because I really did need this break. Give my body time to recover, especially my feet, seriously, I haven't felt this well rested in a long time. Overall, I love my new duty station, the base is cool, the surrounding area is nice, and going to Nashville on the weekends is a lot of fun. Overall, looking forward to eventually going to air assault school.**

 **But for now, heres a new chapter.**

* * *

 **JEM**

 _"Hey, I think she's waking up."_ Raven was stirring in her sleep as she heard very muffled voices.

 _"You realize she's going to be pissed when she realizes what you've done right?"_ She heard another gruff but quiet voice say as she heard the other voice start to laugh.

 _"Hey, she won't find out until much later, besides you got to admit….it's funny."_ At this she heard the other one laugh.

 _"True, but you've seen what she can do right?"_

 _"Of course, hence why we're not going to tell her until she's long gone, besides think of it as a bit of revenge for what she did."_

 _"You realize she can teleport to where I am right?"_

 _"Hence why Winter and I are going on our honeymoon quick fast and in a hurry."_

 _"Wow, you actually did plan this out?"_

 _"Hell yeah, besides, it was too good of an oppurtunity to pass up."_

"Oh will you two shut the hell up." Raven said groggy as hell.

"Oh hey, Auntie Raven is awake!" Jem said as he clapped his hands like a retarded seal.

"Don't call me that." She already wasn't happy about being caught off guard so easily.

"Nope, you interrupted my wedding, which means you have to deal with us annoying you." Jem said as he was playing with her sword.

"Give that back." Raven said as Jem shook his head.

In reality, it was kind of a weird sword. He knew it was more like a Odachi than a Katana, but it seemed to be a regular sword. But then you got to the weird dust chamber on the actual scabbard. It had been awhile since he had actually watched RWBY, instead he was living it. But Raven was never around, so what the hell did her weapon do? Did she load different dust into her sword and use it like Weiss? Or was the scabbard like a big ass rocket launcher of dust? Shit, that would be bad ass, a dust rocket launcher. Then again, he could fit explosive rounds into his rifle, so it didn't seem like that big of a deal.

And it must have pissed Raven off that he was currently pretending the sword and scabbard was his penis and he was poking the wall with it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Raven couldn't believe the insult to her weapon.

"Sorry, infantry habits, I sometimes pretend the weapon is my dick." Which was something that actually happened a lot on base.

You take a bunch of bored soldiers, they do some gay shit.

Like the one time in his bay, they were cleaning weapons, and a private from another platoon ran into the bay, he had a gas mask and a trench coat on, and he did a strip tease going all the way down to his pt shorts which had been pulled up into a thong, and his combat boots.

….That was a weird time for everyone. **(1)**

Ask anyone who ever played a game of Gay Chicken with him. You're talking to the gay chicken champ over here! Whether or not that was something to be proud of, Jem did not know, but he was proud of it. After all, you can win a lot of money if you bet on yourself when playing. Seriously the weird shit Jem did for Cash. Which was made even worse when he remembered that he was rich, Winter was rich, his family was rich, literally he did not need the money.

Maybe the truth of the matter was he hated losing. So if someone challenged him, he couldn't lose. But he could never go too far. After all, he was an engaged man. Not to mention, Winter walked in on him playing Gay Chicken, and he had to have that AWKWARD conversation with her about what was going on.

All she did was roll her eyes and say the one phrase she had been saying for the past few months.

 _"What the fuck is wrong with the infantry?"_

Seriously, that was her new catch phrase everytime Jem fucked something up.

"Will you stop day dreaming over there?" Qrow snapped Jem out of his homo erotic infanty memories.

"Oh sorry, just wondering why the heck the most masculine profession does some of the weirdest stuff." In truth, that was something he would never know.

"Is there a reason I'm tied up?" Raven was starting to get impatient.

"Honestly because I wasn't sure how you would react, and because we had the rope on hand because Dad has a weird sense of humor when it comes to giving Winter and I wedding gifts." At this Jem turned to his father.

"I'm telling you, that girl has a kinky side." Qrow took another sip of whiskey.

"How could you possibly know that?"

"She might take after her mother."

"…Okay that's fucking gross Dad." At this, Jem and even Raven was a little disturbed.

Jem knew that his future stepmother/ current mother in law was sexually deprived due to being with Baby Dick Schnee, but he did not need to know all of her kinks. Seriously who the hell wanted to know what their dad did in bed with his step mom? NOBODY! Unless you had some weird fucked up semi incest fetish, but the point was it was still creepy as hell and Jem wanted NO part in it!

"Can we just get to what we were trying to do?" Jem asked as suddenly Qrow took all the fun out of being a smart ass.

"Okay, look here Auntie-"

"Don't call me that."

"No, I like it, listen here Auntie…" Jem took on a slightly serious face.

"I really think you're a terrible person, and frankly I don't like your attitude, especially with how you took me away from my wedding, because seriously, dick move." Okay, so Jem wasn't really good at vocalizing his thoughts, but at this point he didn't really give a shit.

"Seriously, you abandon your daughter for no good reason, you come in here and try to kidnap me, you spend almost all of the entire series in the background only showing up at conveniant times which as we all know is kind of a lame plot device, especially when its something way too predictable, I mean seriously, Neo was about to kill Yang, and you just happen to show up at the last mi-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Was Raven's nephew crazy.

"Okay, I'm getting off topic, the point is that trope is used so many times, I mean, I get told I use too many tv tropes and even I can point out how predictable the 'saving Yang's life' scene was."

Okay, at this point, Raven had no idea what was going on.

"Look, I just came here to confirm if you were actually my nephew."

"Oh he is….we got the DNA test to prove it." Qrow grumbled out.

He still wasn't proud of the fact that he fucked a midget to make Jem. Granted, he had no idea what was going on, and he certainly never actually expected to meet his illegitimate son, but honestly their lives had been pretty fucked up lately. Seemed like everything was turning into a parody of itself.

"Okay, enough about that, lets get to the actual-" Suddenly Winter burst in.

"JEM! It's the white fang! They're attacking!" Winter yelled as Jem groaned.

"Oh you got to be kidding me! A major catastrophe happens just as I'm about to interrogate some important information out of a captive?! Talk about overused tropes!" Jem couldn't believe this was what his life was coming down to.

It was almost like God himself was running out of ideas and was just doing whatever he could to mess with Jem.

"Let me go." Raven demanded as she knew she could fight.

"Why should I-" Jem started but Raven cut him off.

"I still have questions for you, so I need you alive, therefore the white fang is your enemy, so we have a common enemy, got it?" She said as Jem suddenly closed his mouth.

"….Okay sure."

….

…

"Wait, seriously?" Raven wasn't expecting him to let her go that easily.

"Yeah, sure go." Jem said as he cut her loose.

"Uhm….okay." Raven was honestly dumbfounded as she left the room with her sword.

…

….

"Jem…..you do realize she still has all those dicks drawn on her face…."

"I know….and she's about to go fight a bunch of white fang grunts….in a room full of security cameras…."

…

…

…

"LETS GO WATCH!"

* * *

 **(1) The sad part is, shit like this happens a lot, you take a bunch of bored recruits/soldiers, weird shit happens.**


	108. Dick move

**Okay guys, so sorry but this isn't even really a chapter, its like 1/4 of a chapter because of my writers block, but I needed an update. So here you go. Once I get this out I should be able to get back into writing.**

 **But this army life is crazy. So I've been busy these last two weeks.**

 **Also, I probably won't be updating at all in march since I won't be on a computer.**

* * *

"OH GEEZ!" A white fang grunt screamed out as he was sliced in half.

"Don't worry buddy I'll aveng-…What the fu-" The other white fang paused as he looked at the assailant, and she soon took his head off.

"Why is everyone looking at me weird and pausing right before I kill them?" Raven asked as almost every single white fang grunt she had killed had been pausing and staring at her like something was wrong.

This had been happening ever since her 'Nephew' had released her. While she had no doubt the boy was related to her, she still had her doubts. Which honestly wasn't her fault. Someone actually sleeping with Qrow and having his child? That was something she found hard to believe. And yes, she was actually serious. Her brother was kind of a dumb ass when it came to women.

"Get the, what is th-" Another white fang grunt down.

Now this was just embarassing, Raven knew they weren't much of a fight. But these guys were barely even fighting back. How could they have been that distracted? Were they all thinking of something else? Did they smoke some dope? Why were they all so easily distracted? She just didn't understand. Meanwhile she had no idea she was being watched by security cameras. And the security guards happened to be recording what was going on, and they were laughing their asses off.

"Dude, are we literally seeing what we're seeing bro?" The blond hair one said as he turned to his buddy.

"Yeah Bill! This is freaking hilarious! This is comedy gold!" He said as he fingered his name tag.

"This is amazing Ted!"

"Don't you mean…."

"EXCELLENT!"

Okay, now that the movie reference was out of the way, back to the actual story.

Raven found herself getting more and more pissed off at the fact that the white fang grunts were staring at her like she was crazy. And it was just driving her mad.

"They act like they've never seen a bandit before!" She yelled as she sliced throug even more grunts.

"Seriously what is so damn fu-" Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks as she found herself passing by a department store window.

Where they were selling mirrors.

Her head made a rusty door hinge creaking noise as she slowly took steps back to see if she ha just imagined what she just saw. When she planted herself in front of the mirror. She now understood why those White fang grunts had been so distracted.

Right there on her face was a portrait of dicks. Dicks as far as they eye could see. On her left cheek, there was a picture of a dick with wings and a beak labeled the 'Dickpecker. While on her right cheek was a picture of a rocket launcher shooting dicks with laser sighting, this drawing was labeled the 'Cocket Launcher' Going to the top of her forehead, there was a different one, on it was what appeared to be a robot blowing another robot, it was labeled C-3PBLOW. She could feel the rage building inside her as she noticed those were not the only drawings.

She saw a hairy nutsack dangling from a crane drawn on her Neck…..Wrecking Balls…..

She saw what appeared to be a bunch of dicks sailing on a boat…Seamen….

She saw a dick wearing a sheriff stetson hat and holding a gun…Dick Grimes….

She saw a picture that was of an actual human in a military uniform…..and the caption read 'Pay respect to Major Dick Winters.'

She saw on her fingernails were little pictures of tiny cocks…..her hand itself had 'Handjob' written on them.

And then the grand finale was when she lifted her shirt to expose her abs, and on her stomach was a doctor holding two large dicks, his face was also shown as a dick. And his stethoscope had a pair of balls.

'Doctor Cockter'

Raven felt her rage building up and up until.

 **Meanwhile With Jem and Dandy**

"You're sure Adams here?" Dandy asked as he was ready for some revenge.

"I'm sure! After all, if the white fang is attacking, chances are he's at the fr-" Suddenly they were cut off by an angry blood curdling scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone who was in the area, and maybe even on the other side of the planet stopped and listened to that scream.

"What was that?" Dandy had to admit, it was a little scary.

"I guess my aunt found the surprise I left for her." Jem started laughing like a madman.

"What did you do?"

"I'll tell you later, but right now we got to find Adam and kick his ass."


	109. The Cake is a Lie

**Well guys after a long time of me and MPD editing this chapter together, we finally got it out to you guys. Sorry it took so long, but you know, life gets in the way of things.**

 **Anyways, hopefully it won't be long for Summer Block Leave so I can get away from the army life for a bit.**

 **For now enjoy the show.**

* * *

"So, what's yah plan again?" Dandy asked as he ran along Jem, with Qrow and Winter following behind as they made their way to the banquet hall where most of the White Fan were attacking. He had been wanting to get some payback at Adam for a long time now, especially for what he did to Nala and her parents.

Wait, when did Jem meet up with Dandy? Well that answer can only be found in a flashback.

 _Flashback_

" _Okay, got to, wait what the hell is going on in there?" Jem asked as he heard screams coming from the bathroom._

" _OH GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH!" Uhm, okay that was a bit weird._

" _PULL IT OUT! PLEASE!" Okay now that made Jem a little bit concerned._

" _Oh god, please don't tell me someone is having sex in the bathroom." Jem may have been a bit of a weird individual but he crossed the line at people having sex in public._

" _OH GOD! WHY?! IT'S TEARING ME IN TWO!" Okay, Jem could not allow this to happen._

" _Okay, got to put a sto-" Suddenly he saw Dandy walking out._

 _With two white fang grunts being dragged out, tied up, beaten, and with what appeared to be urinal handles stabbed into them._

" _Oh hey Jem!" Dandy waved as Jem just looked down at the grunts and back at him._

" _Dandy...what the fuck did you do?"_

" _Oh, well, its ah long story."_

" _Just tell me…."_

" _Well, I was sitting down minding my own business, I had to go, and then I heard all these noises going on outside, naturally I knew something was going down and I should have been ready to fight, but uh, the tuna I had didn't really agree with me, so I was stuck in the bathroom stall for a bit, but then next thing I know, I hear two guys run in, and sit in the two stalls next to me, apparently they were white fang spies and were spying on your wedding, and they also had the bad fish, but they were talking about all the little details of their plan, and at that point, I may have snapped, and well you see." Dandy pointed to the two bodies._

" _HE SHOVED A URINAL PIPE UP MY ASS!"_

" _...Dandy….I thought I was the fucked up one of the two, thats some weird shit."_

" _Ah may have gotten carried away."_

" _Whatever, look, chances are Adam is here, so I'm gonna go beat the shit out of him, you in?"_

" _...Do you expect me to say No?"_

" _Nope, so lets go."_

 _FLASHBACK END_

"First things first, if what you said earlier about the white fang spying on my wedding is true, then we have to go check up on everyone at the banquet hall! No doubt the White Fang are attacking there first!" Jem stated as they turned the corner where the double doors leading to the banquet hall resided.

Just before they got to the doors however they heard a rather loud scream.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"**

Followed by a White Fang Grunt being flung right through the double doors and flown right by them and out the window. One thing they noticed about the grunt was that he was covering the area where his ears would be while he was soaring through the air.

"Welp..whoever got hit by Coral's semblance may have gone deaf." Dandy stated as he takes a peak outside to make sure if the grunt was still alive or not. Which he was but wasn't so lucky on where he landed considering he landed in a rather prickly rose bush.

Turning their attention back to the swinging double doors from the impact of that grunt, they quickly made their way to them and opened up the doors to see what was going on in there.

To say the least, Chaos, pure and utter Chaos. Tables were turned over, food splattered everywhere, White Fang grunts littered the floor while bullets and all shorts of debris, screams, sonic blasts, and bodies of the White Fang flew just about everywhere.

On the far right side corner were most of the civilians who couldn't fight such as waiters and waitresses, Nala and even Willow were huddled together being protected by a rather large dome like energy barrier made out of musical notes with Onyx in the middle. His shield like weapon was set up like a dislocated turntable with what looked to be a phonograph in the middle sticking upward with light blue energy musical notes shooting out of it followed by music.

 **(Play [Electro Swing] Peggy Suave - Keep A-Knockin )**

Outside the barrier stood Jaune, Pyrrha and Glynda holding back any grunts that tried to get to the civilians they were protecting.

Near the doors that they stood at towards right where the buffet food use to be at was Jem's family alongside with Neo, Ren and Nora.

"YEAH! GET SOME! GET SOME!" Of course Pa was having a blast as he was firing off his M4 which was a gift from Jem for Christmas.

"Come on! Let me at em!" Nala was ready to go into the battle with her own gun.

"No Nala, stay." Willow saidas she was holding her granddaughter back by her collar.

"But Grandma! Even Grandmama is fighting!" Nala pointed to Grandmama.

Who was currently standing next to a huge huddle of white fang grunts who were currently crying and hugging each other, why? Well, the answer was simple as Jem and Dandy looked to see what Grandmama was doing.

"Bad! Bad child! Ruining my nipotes wedding! Bad!" She was currently beating a female white fang operative over the head with a rolling pin.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! OKAY I'M SORRY JUST DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!" The mouse faunus started bawling as she ran over to her friends and decided to cry next to them.

"...That's my grandmama." Jem really loved his family.

"Tell me about it!" Nora shouted as she swung her hammer like a bat and knocked a bat faunus out of the park.

Meanwhile Ren was currently kicking the shit out of some other grunts while two in the background were hiding and watching the battle from afar.

"How do they always beat us so easily?!" One of the grunts said to the other.

"I don't know! We even brought Atlesian tech! And they still beat the shit out of us!"

"It's like we're second rate villains or something! This is bullshit! I'm out of here." One of them said as he couldn't believe that there was an elderly women merely beating grunts over the head with a rolling pin and they were surrendering.

Before the Grunt could leave however as he turned around, he came face to face with a boot to the nose. Falling back and clutching his nose, the two grunts looked to see who done that, let's just say, they were terrified by who was looking down at them with a mischievous look on her face.

Normally they wouldn't be terrified by a small looking woman but this wasn't any ordinary small woman. After all, they knew who she was considering the torment she put them through when they were still working under Romans command and how scary she could be.

"M-mercy?" The one with the possible broken nose pleaded. To which their response was a slow shake of her head. After all, Neo doesn't give mercy. Lifting her foot back to deal a devastating kick to both of them on the head, the other grunt quickly grabbed a discarded metal plate and shielded himself and shouted.

"Protect me Platter!" Right before both of them got the lights knocked out of them. Not even the platter could save that grunt. **(1)**

"Dandy...have I ever told you how much I love my family?" Jem was feeling proud of this. Hell, they didn't even need their help right now, they had it all covered.

"Where did your dad get that gatling gun?"

"We're from America right?"

"Yeah But I don't see the-"

"That means we can do whatever the fuck we want."

"But Jem, we're not in Ameri-"

"Freedom has no borders!"

"...Why do I even try?" Dandy knew there was no talking to him when he was like this.

While that was going on the stage was Ruby, Coral, Flynt, and Ironwood providing ranged support. Another loud yell echoed from the stage coming out of a single speaker. When Dandy said Corals Semblance probably made some enemies deaf, he wasn't kidding, because near the stage were White Fang grunts scattered about, some knocked out by the others, while a couple still conscious but clenching their ears screaming in pain.

Last but not least near the Dance floor was Yang, Blake, Neon, Weiss, and Soul taking out most of the melee based grunts. With Yang and Blake sticking together, Neon skating about while freezing the legs of any White Fang grunt she came across, and finally Weiss and Soul slashing at any grunts that came near, which were quite a lot of them considering how Weiss was a Schnee.

But Soul wasn't having any of them get close to Weiss due to him slashing at the grunts with his Guitar sword. If Jem looked close enough at the design, it actually looked like an Energy Sword from Halo, only with a blade coming out of double guitar necks.

Everything looked fine, however that changed when one of the White Fang Grunts got a lucky slash at Soul, normally Aura would protect against slashes, but shockingly the blade went through his Aura and cut into his back. Thank Oum it wasn't a deep cut just a light one, to which Soul quickly responded with an X slash and a kick to the guys chest.

Aura piercing blades! Wait, but that meant…

"Guys be careful they have Aura piercing bla-WEISS WATCH OUT!" Soul shouted in alarm after he turned around to warn the others only to see a White Fang Grunt managing to sneak up on Weiss and was about slash down on her.

"Huh?" Weiss turned her head around to look at Soul only to see a White Fang member about to slash down at her.

"Prepare to DIE Schnee!" The White Fang member shouted as he brought his blade down towards her.

Time seemed to slow down and most people understood what Soul was trying to say until they turned their attention towards Weiss upon him shouting.

Before the blade could make contact or Weiss to try and move out of the way, the sound of chains followed by a locking sound echoed throughout the room with the grunt finding himself unable to bring the blade down all the way. Looking up, he could see his wrists were bound by a metal chain with a small heavy weight keeping them locked around him.

"What the he-"

The Grunt never got to finish what he was going to say because what followed next could be described as coming straight out of a video game...literally.

" **GET OVER HERE!"** A low demonic voice shouted followed by the grunt finding himself pulled by his wrists backwards hitting the floor hard and sliding to whoever used the chains. When the grunt finished sliding, looking up, he instantly felt like shitting himself.

Because staring down at him were two glowing red eyes, something he could have sworn at first was a Grimm if it wasn't for the fact that the eyes were attached to a figure covered by the darkness of their hood and pearly white teeth snarled down at him.

"I-I'm sorry?" The White Fang member pleaded only to get a heavy boot stomp to the face. Instantly breaking quite a few teeth, his nose, and possibly a bit of deformality on his face, getting knocked out in the process.

" **Sorry doesn't CUT IT!"** The person stated who was none other than Soul considering the person had Soul's weapon and clothing on. Turning his attention to the other White Fang members who were shocked and downright terrified by the dark red aura emitting off of Souls body, that were near Weiss he pointed towards her.

" **IF YOU WANT TO GET TO HER, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME!** " Flipping a switch on his weapon, and tossing it in the air the Double Neck Guitar weapon he had changed, the blades that were on the necks retracted followed by the two guitar necks clamping down to form one neck. When the weapon came down, Soul was holding his weapon like an Axe, talk about taking an Axe Guitar to the next level. " **I'LL TAKE ON EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!** " Soul stated as he stomped his way towards the White Fang members that were near Weiss.

"...No fucking way…." Jem couldn't believe it.

"What?" Winter asked as she had changed out of her dress.

WHy? No way she was going to fight white fang in her wedding dress! She wanted to preserve it for years to come!

"You don't know who that is?" Jem asked.

"Uh, its Soul?"

"No! Its the fucking GUY from Disturbed!" What the fuck?!

Disturbed was one of Jem's favorite bands, But Soul WAS THE FUCKING GUY! It made no sense!

"Uh, what do you mean the guy?" Dandy was honestly confused.

"Earth Band mascot, it's a long story." Jem had to admit, it was kind of badass.

"I don't know what you're talking about, that's just his semblance, he calls it Disturbed for some reason."

"Mind explaining to me what it does?"

"Well, whenever Soul activates his Semblance, it's either out ah rage or just when he's done messing around, Disturbed mainly increases his strength, durability, a bit of speed, and finally his reaction time more better, not only that but as you can see…"

" **IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!** " Soul shouted as he used his chains again to grab another White Fang member that tried to run away by their ankle only to throw them into the others that tried to flank him.

"It basically makes him a walking demon of intimidation that gives no mercy...the only downside to his Semblance however.." Dandy began as he points to the dark red Aura radiating off his partners body as if they were flames "Is that he basically becomes a walking beacon to Grimm considering how much negativity his Semblance off…" Dandy states before wincing as Soul began beating a White Fang member over the head with another White Fang Member that tried to get past him towards Weiss. He was rather brutal when ever he activated his Semblance.

Weiss meanwhile was standing there stupefied. She wasn't scared of Soul. No far from it, it was when she went over just what he said in her mind that caused her to stand still.

" _Is he doing all this for me?"_ Weiss did the one thing she never would have guessed she would do.

She blushed and hid her face at the thought that someone was that protective over her.

" _No! It's nothing, he's just probably really concerned! That's all!"_ She said as she put a hand to her left cheek.

Granted she did find this form a little intimdating. There was something else that got ot her, Soul's clothes actually tore a bit revealing his rather muscular arms and build. Weiss was not like every teenage girl, she would not swoon over every good looking guy like some teenager. But keep in mind, she had done that for Neptune, who was not nearly as muscular. Needless to say, she had to stop looking because she didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea with how she was staring at him.

"Uh, Schnee, we were-" A white fang grunt suddenly saw himself punched in the face by Weiss.

"I wasn't staring!" She defended herself as the grunt held his broken nose.

"I never said you were!"

Needless to say other white fang grunts who were knocked on their asses sweat dropped at the fact that their buddy just got knocked out by a hormonal teenage girl. There was no way he was ever going to live that down.

They could only imagine what would happen if Sienna Khan found out about that.

She might laugh, she might kick his ass, either way it would be funny.

The White Fang members weren't the only ones to notice Weiss' action, after all, a mother knows best for their daughter. Willow had a hand on her lips with a rather knowing smirk on her face. Even if the dome barrier around them made things a bit hard to see with the musical notes blocking the few, she could still see clearly enough to see Weiss's reaction.

'You can't deny your feelings Weiss~ After all.." Willow thought as her own eyes traveled towards Qrow who had decided to join in on the fight and was clearly having no trouble at all when it came to kicking ass. 'It would seem we Schnee women are rather attracted to the "unrefined" type of men in our lives~'

While Willow seemed distracted, Nala tried sneaking away to join in on the fight by tiptoeing away, only the be grabbed by her collar once more by Willow which in turn caused Nala to pout not being able to have any fun.

As the chaos continued, both Jem and Winter were rather surprised to see that their Wedding cake was still standing untouched by all this fighting. The cake was six stacked and was decorated to look like two cultures coming together, on one half of the cake it was pure white, with small rose bud looking frosting decorated on each stack with different colored looking rock candy made to look like dust crystal coming out of the cake. With a few Glyph stamps of the Schnee emblem here and there, while on the other side was something one would expect from someone like Jem.

Jem's side of the cake looked to be something straight out of Fourth of July, with the stacks colored to look like the American Flag, the bottom stack was red, while leading up with the Red, white pattern that the flag normally has, at the top the final stack was colored blue with the sides decorated with white frosting stars. On top of each stack on his side of the cake, right at the edge, were chocolate bars made in the same shape of kit Kat bars, designed to look like a border wall protecting the inner frosting on each stack of Jem's half of the cake. Along with frosting dots designed to look like bullets whizzing by after being fired.

Finally last but not least, on top of the cake was two wedding figurines that looked exactly like Jem and Winter, with Jem holding an M 60 firing from his hip like Rambo and looking like something out of every 80s action movie. While Winter looked more graceful with her sword in front of her face in a duelist stance.

"Huh, how about that, its still go-" Suddenly they heard a noise.

BZZZZZZZZZ

A chainsaw ripped through the wall and splattered the cake everywhere, decapitating the little figures of Winter and Jem.

Out stepped a white fang member. But this one was different, he was much bigger and looked like he would be a much tougher opponent then these grunts. In other words, he must have been at least a Lieutenant.

"I WANT YOU!" He yelled as he revved up his chainsaw.

"Honey…." Winter said.

"Yeah babe?"

"He ruined our cake…."

"I noticed…."

"You want to kill him? Or Me?"

"Considering he let my colors touch the ground...I'll handle this…" Jem was pissed they splattered his flag all over the ground.

"I GOT YOU BRO!" Onyx said as he plugged something into the speakers.

And a familiar song started to play.

 **(Play Rob Zombie: Dragula)**

"Oh fuck the hell yes….this guy going down…" Jem said as he got his tomahawk out.

Shit is about to get fucking retarded.

* * *

 **1\. How many of you get the reference**


	110. Adam done fucked up

**Okay here we go, another chapter. MPD helped with this one, and then after this its back with solo writing for a bit.**

* * *

"You know, you really pissed me off just now." Jem said as he got closer to the white fang lieutenant.

"Do I look like someone who cares human?" The Lieutenant was eager to get a piece of Jem for one reason and one reason only.

Sienna Khan had personally ordered for him to be captured and brought to her, mostly due to the fact that he was taking away potential recruits for the white fang, who started to see that not all humans were against them, and in fact some would help them. And Sienna Khan could not have that happen.

"You come to me on the day I am to be married." For some reason Jem started talking in an italian accent.

For some reason, Dragula was briefly interrupted as some weird italian music started playing.

"You disrespected me, you disrespected my familia. And what do you say to me? You say 'I want you', for this, I'm afraid I have to take extreme action." Winter just looked at Jem with a weird look.

"Seriously honey….you're trying to fit the godfather lines into this situation?" Even she could tell how poorly he was trying to adapt the lines to this situation.

"Well, to be honest, I was trying to think of something cool to say and couldn't think of anything, but I figured, Grandmama is italian, so maybe I'll try the godfather?"

"WILL YOU PAY ATTENTION!" The White fang Lieutenant revved up his chainsaw.

"Damn it, oh well." Jem clashed his tomahawk against the man's chainsaw.

"So, ever seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" Jem was making conversation.

"Stop talking!"

"No! I like talking!"

Jem figured he was like any other white fang grunt, annoy them enough and don't take them seriously, and they make mistakes.

"Also you let my flag touch the ground." He said as he kicked the officer in the head and pointed to the cake.

"Who cares about that stupid flag!" At this, the music stopped with a sudden record player screech and everyone went silent.

"...He's fucked…." Winter said as she saw both Ma and Pa turn towards the white fang Lieutenant.

Jem himself was also silent.

"Did….you….just….call….my…..flag…..stupid?" Jem said slowly and silently.

"Yes I did! If it's a flag of humans, all it means is oppression!" Uh oh, Jem was getting pissed.

Normally you would expect White fang to complain about the human oppression of the faunus. But now he was insulting the US too, and right now he sounded like one very specific group of people that Jem couldn't stand.

" **PATRIOTISM IS RACISM!"** He heard a rainbow haired, big butch lesbian yell out as he saw the image of a feminist frequency t shirt in his min.

"AMERICA MOTHERFUCKER!" Jem loaded his grenade rounds into his rifle.

"U S OF A MOTHERFUCKER!" Pa yelled as he pointed a Karl Gustav at the Lieutenant.

"Wait, where did he get that?" Winter asked as he pulled it out of nowhere.

"NO ONE INSULTS MY ADOPTIVE COUNTRY!" Grandmama got out a Carcano rifle.

"YEE YEE!" Momma yelled out as she pulled out some kind of automatic shotgun.

 **BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG**

Needless to say the amount of bullets, explosives and shrapnel being sent the lieutenants way was like watching the fourth of july. Blood guts and ass spitting all over the place.

"YEAH!" Nala said as she was firing a 44 magnum towards the cloud of smoke.

"Nala, where did you get that?" Winter asked.

"Daddy gave it to me!" She said as she didn't seem to be having problems with the recoil.

"...I told him nothing with too big of a caliber for you…" She said as Nala smiled.

"It's okay! Auntie Weiss unlocked my Aura, this is nothing for me now!" Nala said as she reloaded and fired more rounds.

"...Great, I have another gun nut for a daughter….." Winter had to admit, it wasn't the worst thing ever, but she hoped Nala was also into traditionally feminine things as well.

Last thing she needed was a complete tomboy of a daughter.

As the smoke cleared, everyone saw that the white fang lieutenant was deader than Lindsay Lohan's career.

"Huh that was much easier than I thought it would be." Jem said as he walked over to the corpse and planted an American flag into it.

"Kind of morbid don't you think?" Pa said as Jem looked at him.

"I find it quite artistic."

"Yeah if you're Vlad the Impaler."

"Hey he's one of my favorite historical figures!"

At this Winter looked at her husband quite oddly.

"Your favorite historical figure is a mass murderer who impaled thousands of people and was the inspiration for one of the most famous literary and film monsters of all time?"

"...Well….Yeah….." Jem said as honestly as he could.

"And that seems perfectly healthy to you?"

"...Not really, but you didn't marry me because I'm completely sane did you?"

"Fair point."

To say what everyone just witnessed was shocking...was a complete understatement as the White Fang members that had still been trying to fight before their Lieutenant got brutally massacred instantly surrendered throwing their weapons to the dance floor and getting on their hands and knees.

"Well at least it's finally over." Qrow stated only to hear a scuffle off to the side which in term caused everyone to look towards the source. They spotted James Ironwood picking up one of the White Fang Grunts by the vest, lifting them up to eye level.

"Make things easier for yourself, and I'm sure the sentence for your imprisonment will be far lighter than it will be later. WHERE IS ADAM TAURUS?!" James shouted shaking the poor faunus that was picked up.

"Woah easy Jimmy! If you keep shaking the guy the way you are, his head may come off!" Qrow started making his way over to them to stop this. Only to spot the grunt reaching into his vest and pull out a yellow glowing device. "What the-"

Before he could finish what he was saying, the Grunt threw down the device causeung a bright flash of light and it seems that grunt wasn't the only to have such a device on them as a few others that surrendered and were near by everyone else also used a device similar causing the entire room to light up.

When the light died down it was revealed that yellow energy domes now covered most of the entire room encasing pretty much everyone except in one. All except Jem and Dandy since they were inspecting the corpse of the Lieutenant to see if they could find something leading to Adam. Winter had gone off to Nala to take her back to her mother where she was at last only to be encased in their own personal dome barrier with a female White Fang Grunt that they were passing by.

"What the hell?" Qrow was near the edge of the inside of the dome and was the first to react and inspect the dome. As he went to see about going through the dome, he found it literally impossible to do. "Jimmy you know about this shit more than I do, considering this is YOUR shit that was stolen and used on MY SONS WEDDING!" Qrow shouted as he tried using his weapon on the shield only for it to bounce right off when he made contact with the yellow shield dome.

Tossing the grunt to the side, James couldn't help but sigh in frustration. "Don't bother hitting it….it seems they got a hold on the experimental transportable shield domes. They are still in the experimental stages and it seems the version they may have stolen were the ones that can't be exited out of…"

Turning to James Qrow growled, "Then how long do these things last?!"

"Usually around 30 minutes that or manually deactivated by a scroll the devices had been linked up to."

"...You suck at keeping things secured you know that right?"

"...No comment" James wouldn't dare let Qrow he was right, he rather be die than agree to whatever this man says.

"But wait, who has the Scroll then?" Ruby asks speaking up only to hear a loud pissed off yell.

"Are you kidding me?!" Jem and Dandy heard a familiar voice as they tensed up.

"He's here." Jem said as they saw a figure step out of the hole in the wall.

Sure enough, right in front of them was the man who orchestrated the attack on beacon, or as Jem liked to say, 'the biggest dickhead in the world.' Adam Taurus, the bull faunus from the wrong side of the tracks with serious anger issues and possibly a cat girl fetish. Not to mention serious stalker tendencies and sort of the 'I beat you because I love you' complex. Either way, he was fucked up in the head.

"You keep ruining my plans, but no matter, I figured something like this would happen so I came a bit more prepared." Adam said as he unsheathed his sword. He was rather glad that one part of his plan actually worked this time, separating everyone else from Jem, even if one managed to still be free alongside him.

"Guilty as charged." Jem said with pride as Dandy was getting pissed, his Aura flaring as the top of his Afro began to shake.

"Jem, I want to-" Dandy started but Jem cut him off.

"Shh, there will be plenty of time to beat the shit out of him."

"...You seem awfully calm about this." Dandy stated giving Jem a sideway glance, sunglasses hanging near the tip of his nose, letting Jem get a clear view of Dandys yellow feline eyes.

"Oh I'm pissed off on the inside, but it will be fun to screw with him." In all honesty, what would be better, to beat the shit out of Adam outright or to humiliate him first?

Jem was going with Humiliate.

"If you think I'll go down as easy as the lieutenant did, you're sadly mistaken." Adam said as he began to walk towards them.

Meanwhile miles away, Sienna Khan sat in her throne room. Where she watched this from afar. Why did she have footage of this one may ask? Well, the truth was after the attack on beacon, she didn't fully trust Adam. His actions had brought some heat down on the white fang and if she didn't know any better she would say he was actually planning to kill her. But that's besides the point. Basically instead of imprisoning him or handing him over to the authorities, she required him to wear a camera on him at all times, so that way she could constantly monitor him to make sure he wasn't doing anything against her will and intentions.

He smashed the camera of course, but what he didn't realize was that she had hidden multiple spy cameras in his mask, on his horns while he slept and of course on his weapon. That and including on the masks of the other White Fang grunts masks, just to get better views of the entire situation. So there was no way he was going to get away scot free if he committed any more atrocities that she didn't order him to commit. The point was he was on a leash. And now she stared through the lens of the camera at the man who had turned so many people away from the white fang. A man named Jeremiah Cotton, AKA Branwen. She had only heard rumors of him, how he was an alcoholic and was obsessed with his country of origin, which she could not find on any map.

Other than that, she heard rumors of him adopting a faunus daughter, but she was unsure about those rumors as she had never heard of a human adopting a faunus. Either way she was interested to see how this fight would go.

However, she was really confused when Jem took off his shirt and his pants to reveal he was only wearing a pair of military PT shorts and a bear tooth necklace.

"THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Adam yelled over the camera.

"You want to fight Bro? I'll give you a fight!" Jem said as he was wearing his daisy dukes of freedom.

"...This man….is an idiot…." Sienna couldn't believe THIS was the guy giving them a hard time.

Why was he wearing a bear tooth necklace? What was with the tattoos? Why was he in surprisingly good shape? And WHY was he only wearing a pair of shorts to fight one of her best fighters? She had a feeling he was either a humongous idiot, or he was doing it to mock him.

….Maybe both. Definitely both.

"Will you take this seriously?" Adam yelled at the drunken redneck.

"I'm taking it as seriously as I take you!"

"Are you mocking me!"

"Of course!"

"YOU DIE NOW!" Adam said as he charged at Jem.

Usually this was the part where Adam cut his opponents in two with the aid of his semblance. But surprisingly something else happened.

"CLink! Gotcha!" Jem was making his own sound effects as he blocked the sword and started attacking with his tomahawk and knife.

"Are you seriously going to make your own sound effects? I knew you were brainless but this is a new low." Adam said as he was forcing Jem to the ground with his sword.

"Between the two of us, who is really brainless?"

"You."

"Eh I don't think so, after all, a guy who is brainless wouldn't be able to distract you from the fact that you're not just fighting one person."

It was this moment, Adam knew, he fucked up.

Before Adam could react he suddenly felt someone inflict a massively heavy punch to the side of his face making him fly off of Jem and into the remains of the destroyed Wedding Cake.

At first Jem thought it was Yang who inflicted that punch judging by the glowing yellow around around the fist that punched into Adams face, no doubt breaking his mask. But as he looked to see whose fist it was, he figured it was Dandy but what surprised him was his appearance.

Standing before him with yellow Aura glowing around him was indeed Dandy, but Jem had to double take on it because of how he looked. Dandy no longer had his own yellow jacket on that had his emblem of a grinning Afro sunglasses wearing lion in the back. Instead he too was completely shirtless but what surprised Jem the most was that he no longer looked like a hippy nor was his hair brown or in its Afro shape anymore.

Instead, Dandys entire Afro was dropped down and far more messier, in fact, his new hair style made it look like he had a Lions mane around his head, while his hair color changed to a blood red. His sunglasses were off letting Jem see the pure anger and hatred held within his eyes, and if one were to look on his back, they would see that no longer was there his emblem grinning back at people whenever he had his jacket on. Instead they would see a fearsome roaring Lion tattoo almost covering the entirety of Dandys backside.

That and Jem was a bit surprised Dandy wasn't using his giant disco ball of a weapon. Least he didn't look like a hippy anymore, not that he wasn't use to Dandy already but this was still something very new to even him.

"Huh...Neat…" He said as he saw Adam's leg twitching underneath the cake remains.

"That felt good." Dandy said as Jem was looking at him odd.

"What?"

"MUFASA! MUFASA!"

"...Why are you calling me that?"

"Lion king joke."

"Huh?"

"Oh yeah, you don't got disney movies here...wait didn't you see that saved on my phone?"

"No…"

"Oh, well Nala would get it."

And then Jem remembered something.

"So, not using the disco ball now?"

"Tell me Jem, if someone killed your family members, wouldn't you want to tear apart the person responsible with your own two hands instead of a weapon?"

"Okay fair point, but I also like shooting shit."

"You're always shooting shit though."

"Because I like it."

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!" Adam yelled as he got up, his mask having fallen off of his face to reveal.

"Oh….god that's ugly…." Jem said as he looked at the scars over Adam's eyes.

"No wonder he keeps the mask on…" Dandy said as that was one ugly sight.

"It looks like Stevie Wonder and Freddy Krueger had a baby."

"Looks like he didn't wear safety glasses during shop class." Dandy continued the joke.

Adam was only getting more and more pissed off at those two. At first he thought they would be easy targets, but within the span of two minutes, they had annoyed him, knocked him into a cake, and they had seen his deformed face.

"Wait a minute, deformed face he covers in a mask, holy shit he's the phantom of the opera! Only, not as cool….and can't sing." Jem said as he was wondering if that was an inspiration from Roosterteeth created Adam.

"...Again Phantom of the opera?" Dandy had no idea what Jem was talking about.

"I swear to god, we have to catch you up on your classic movie history." Jem would not stand to let anyone not know who Lon Chaney was.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" Adam yelled as he was getting angrier and angrier.

"Trust me Jem, ah've seen plenty of classical movies such as Back to the Past, Grimm Park, The Beowulf, Bandits of Menagerie, Grimm of the Mistral Lagoon, CLAWS, pretty much almost everything, but I assure you, ah never heard of Phantom of the Opera, only thing close to what you say would be Geist of the Academy."

"Huh, well the one thing I can say for sure is we seem to have similar movies just different titles, like Claws on my planet is Jaws, Bandits of Menagerie sounds like Pirates of the Caribbean, Grimm of the mistral lagoon is obviously Creature from the black lagoon. But there were a ton you don't seem to have like Dracula, Frankenstein, Dr Terrors House of Horrrors, The Exorcist, damn there are so many I have to show you."

"Hmm Ah'm pretty sure we may have some of those but I just can't remember the name of them...do you have a movies similar to Vacuo Bonesaw, Enraged Jax, Grimmanator, or THING?" Dandy questioned as he wondered if those too were movies from Earth.

"Yeah we do, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Mad Max, Terminator, and The Thing."

"Wait, it's called the thing on your planet too?"

"Yeah not much changes with that title."

" **ENOUGH!** " Turning their attention to the enraged yell, they seen Adam was steaming mad as his face was red and rage clearly seen in his eyes.

"...Oh, I forgot you were there." Jem said only to cause Adam to look dumbfounded cause of this. Not only had they been ignoring him, but turns out they had completely forgotten he was there.

To say Adam had snapped at that moment, was a complete understatement. He pretty much dove off the highboard and into a pit of Grimm Tar at this point.

" **I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU BOTH SUFFER EVEN AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU TWO!** " Adam began as his red aura was glaring all over himself.

" **After I cut you arms and legs off the two of you I'll make you watch as I kill every single one of your loved ones here! I'll start off by killing that Schneewhore of a wife you have and once I'm through with her I'll make that daughter of yours suffer a fate FAR worse than death! After all.."**

Adam began with the crazed look and savage smile on his face.

" **Having the part of you that makes you a Faunus taken away is looked down upon in the Faunus community, she'll be an outcast for the rest of her miserable life seeing how most people will think she was casted out of Menagerie for a** " **Horrible** " **Crime she committed** ~ **I'm surprised that little girl is still alive, seems she managed to escape being blown up alongside her parents back then. No matter, she'll suffer anyway not just because she's your daughter, but also because her original mother gave birth to her from the seed of a HUMAN!** " Ending his rant there, everyone in that room was either, shocked, terrified, horrified, disgusted, or down right pissed off to the fullest with what Adam stated. After all, not only did he say he was going cut off Nala's tail, but also straight out admitted to killing Nala's original parents back then before the Vytal Festival began.

Nala at this point was terrified and even so much as crying into Winters stomach, not only because of what he was going to do if he managed to succeed in defeating her Daddy and Cousin, but also because he was the one responsible for killing her original parents. Weiss couldn't believe anyone could be that sadistic and was wishing she could help Winter comfort Nala, she would not let anything like that happen to her niece. Soul was now at this point more pissed off than ever as he was now slamming his axe guitar into the barrier multiple times trying to break through only to no avail.

Meanwhile the white fang grunt who had been trapped inside the separate dome barrier with Winter and Nala couldn't believe what she had just heard. To think that someone like that was in the white fang, a group that was supposed to help faunus would ACTUALLY even consider harming a child like that! It was unspeakable! Sure there were faunus in the community who would get a punishment like that, but to do that to an innocent child, it bordered on war crimes in the faunus community.

Ruby and her team were gripping their weapons tightly as they felt the need to tear Adam apart piece by piece. Especially Blake who saw no trace of the man she once loved but instead a homicidal monster in his place. When he died, she would feel no remorse or pity. He had made sure of that.

However, no one was more pissed off then the leader of the white fang, Sienna Khan herself who had heard Adams speech over the camera she had on him. And needless to say, if he made it out of there alive, she was going to hold a public execution for all to see that that kind of torture and unspeakable evil would not be tolerated. While she would admit to using violence, she always tried to avoid harming children, ESPECIALLY faunus children. But now Adam was going against everything she believed in.

And for that, she would gladly see him dead.

However….Jem….Jem's reaction was not what he would expect.

No anger….at least not outright anger, his voice took on a cold tone as he looked at Adam.

"You're trash Taurus. I used to think maybe you weren't as evil as people made you out to be, but now, I see things differently, not only are you a sadistic evil son of a bitch, but everything you just said was a load of horseshit." Jem took a step forward.

"Look around at your grunts, look at them, they all just heard that speech, do you think they support your actions? Do you think they support mutilation and torture of children?" At this Adam looked at the grunts still in the room.

Sure enough all of them were looking at him in disgust as they had their hands behind their head as guards took them away in handcuffs, the ones outside the barriers at least. Needless to say,he had no backup.

"As for my wife, the one you labeled Schneewhore, funny how the one you hate the most for being a Schnee had the heart to adopt a faunus child, someone you claim hates your very existence. Funny how you say that Nala is an abomination for being spawn from a human/faunus relationship, and yet...for all your talk about faunus looking out for each other, you're so arrogant you don't even realize that you're doing nothing to help them. Look around!"

At this everyone looked at Jem.

"All this death, all this destruction, for what?! Some petty revenge plot made by some psychopath who decided that your best chance for equality was killing anyone who disagreed with you?!" At this Sienna Khan felt a shiver go down her spine knowing Jem was talking about her.

"You claim to be for Faunus rights, and yet you've done nothing to help them, whereas me and my wife saw a little girl in need and did everything we could to make sure she was loved and supported. You want to know the truth Taurus? I could give two shits less if she was a faunus or not, you want to know why?" At this Sienna was listening in.

"It's because I'm a simple man, you treat me right, I'll treat you right, I don't give a shit about your race, creed, species, whatever the fuck you have going for you. If someone needs some help when they're down, I don't mind helping them out a bit. And yet all you do is seek to stop that. I made an effort to help faunus, what have you done?" At this Sienna was silent as she listened to the speech.

"You and that little psychopath you got leading your dumb ass group has done nothing to help faunus, tell me did you know that after the multiple riots you started, and the multiple attacks that treatment of Faunus got worse? Did you know that after your multiple violent protests, that some people nearly reinstated laws meant to suppress faunus? Did you know that your lust for blood and vengeance nearly started another human/faunus war? DID YOU?!" Jem yelled as he had done his research.

"Listen to me Taurus, I may be a man who isn't afraid to resort to violence, but this isn't a war. In War it's necessary to fight, to kill, to use violence. But you and your band of murderers and thieves tried your best to start a war, after all, why continue your attack if that wasn't what you wanted? Surely you had to see what you were doing to the faunus human relations, or did you stop caring about that too? And all you cared about was your own sense of supremacy over a species you deemed inferior?" At this Sienna froze.

Surely, things hadn't been like that for the faunus because of them right?

Turning away from the screen that showcased the footage, she turned to her computer and immediately began cross searching anything to do with the white fang's violent turn, and any Faunus suppression laws put into place.

She was horrified by the results.

Numerous news sources showcasing the very things Jem had said, multiple law groups claiming that if you gave the faunus an inch they would take a mile, and it was after all the white fang attacks. After every single attack, there were efforts to put laws back into effect that would place Faunus as second class citizens, they would be right back to square one, and….possibly even back into the circumstances that caused the human faunus war.

"No...this can't be…" Sienna was hoping she had made a positive impact somewhere! Surely people joined her cause for a reason.

And yet, all the evidence she was finding was doing the exact opposite. But what made her fall to her knees was something that made her realize just how futile her whole movement was.

She saw that the groups fighting against faunus suppression laws and actually preaching for equality that 'not all faunus were violent psychos' were in fact human groups. Or groups made up of faunus and humans working together for the true betterment of the future of Remnant. Those groups were responsible for establishing defense leagues made up of Faunus and human huntsman in efforts to stop white fang attacks and promote human and faunus relations.

"...What have I done?..." Sienna couldn't believe it, her life's work…..it was all a waste.

She turned back to the screen as she saw Jem walking towards Adam.

"So what are you going to do? Arrest me?!"

"No, only one thing to do with you." Jem prepared his tomahawk.

"Dandy, why don't you say we give this guy a one way ticket to hell?"

"WITH **PLEASURE** " Dandy at this point was now beyond pissed more than anything, this man who not only caused so much suffering, the cause of his aunt and uncle's death, the threats of killing their loved ones, but most importantly what he threatened to do to his precious sunflower Nala and making her cry….THAT was his breaking point. Getting on all fours, the tiles underneath Dandys hands began to crack from the sheer grip he had on them.

Taking in a deep breath, Dandy let out roar, matching exactly like the roar you would hear from a lion seeking its prey, the roar of a lion who was out for blood and would have it at all costs. With the Roar being the signal, both Jem and Dandy sped forward, both matching each other's speed towards Adam.

Adam slightly panicked at this but held his ground as he gripped onto his sword, the damage that had been inflicted on his weapon had been charging up his semblance and he was saving it for this very moment! Killing two birds with one slash! It was too good to be true!

Which in fact it was, because as soon as they got close enough, Adam sped forward to deal the fatal blow, but just as he slashed his sword at them, he suddenly felt himself staring at them. But that was not what shocked him. It was if their auras were projecting images into his mind. In his mind he could see the image of an eagle and a lion coming towards him. The eagle screaming at him in rage as it made to claw out his eyes, and the lion roaring in fury as it went to disembowel him. It might have been an illusion but it was enough to distract him for three seconds, and those three seconds were all it took.

"GRRAAAHHHH!" Jem yelled as he planted his tomahawk right into Adam's neck.

Knowing that he had to get him off, Adam slashed at him, but his blade was stopped by Dandy's robotic hand, Dandy grabbed hold of the blade and with all of his strength and all of his fury he snapped the blade in two.

"GRRAAAHHH!" Dandy took the blade shard and sliced it across Adam's abdominal region, gutting him and spilling his intestines all over the floor.

"Uh...no...it can't be." With that Adam fell to the floor as he held some of his guts in his hands, shocked by what was happening.

"IT'S OVER!" Jem let out a war cry as he went down to the floor with Adam and brought his tomahawk up again.

 **SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH**

The sounds of the tomahawk entering into Adam's neck over and over again until finally the last piece of flesh that held Adams head had been cut causing his head to separate from his shoulders as Jem grabbed the hair and pulled it completely off.

"GAAAAAHHHHHH!" He screamed as he held the head up for all to see.

Dandy meanwhile was breathing heavily as he cleaned his hands of the bits of blood and intestines that littered his arms and the floor.

"..." Everyone was silent as they couldn't believe he was taken down just like that. Then again, if they had threatened a little girl next to two overprotective family members, maybe they too would die as quickly as he did.

"...He's dead." Jem drop kicked the head away.

"...Yeah….." Dandy said as he finished wiping his hands up.

"We're both covered in blood…"

"That we are….."

"Hey! Any of you white fang want another go?" Jem asked as he heard screams.

"NO! NO! WE'RE GOOD!"

"Well….I guess it's over…" Dandy didn't know what to do. As he felt himself calming, the yellow aura that was glowing around him disappeared, his hair now back to its regular brown and finally going back to its regular Afro once more.

"So I guess now we destroy his scroll and drop the barriers."

"Before that, heres a celebratory cigar." Jem said as he handed one to Dandy.

"Smoking is bad for you."

"So is drinking, but I still do it, just take it, think of it as a well deserved reward." Jem said as he lit the cigar and handed the matches to Dandy.

"...Alright." Dandy took the matches and lit his own cigar.

"Aren't you going to drop the barriers?"

"I already did."

"DADDY!" Nala yelled as she ran over to Jem, who was still covered in blood and hugged him.

"Oof, its alright sweetie, he's gone now." Jem said as Nala hugged him and cried.

"I was so scared!" She cried as she pulled away to look at him. Her face and clothes covered in the residual blood that he still had on his chest.

"It's alright, he won't hurt you, not on our watch."

"Well….Winter, that was one HELL of a wedding." Jem said as their group reunited and celebrated the fact that another higher up in the white fang was taken out.

While everything was being shorted out after their celebration, we find Jem seated down next to Dandy, with Winter leaning against her respected husband with Nala sitting her lap having fallen asleep in the comfort of her mother's embrace, while Neon Katt was seated next to Dandy, their tails intertwined with one another, while she held onto Dandys Jacket for him, since she enjoyed leaning onto his bare skin, purring softly.

"Hey Dandy?.."

"Yeah Jem?"

"What the heck was that anyway?"

"What the heck was what?"

"Well, for one thing, you hair went down, almost like you went from a 1970s disco dancer to Jason Momoa as Aquaman, and basically your tattoo looked like it was alive, and it was actually bad ass."

"Oh that, my Semblance I call it Heart of the Lion, or Lion King for a more cooler name. Either or really. Some Faunus have semblance's that enhances their Faunus traits or abilities. Take my Semblance for example, it basically increases my strength, speed, and ferocity of my attacks, while also enhancing my faunus features. You know how my hair sometimes has a mind of its own correct when it comes to my emotions?

"Yeah?" He did find it weird how his hair can suddenly pull a 180 by either inflating on its own or deflating.

"Well it's a side effect of my Semblance at times, my Semblance works with my emotions and only activated fully when I'm pissed."

"So like Yang's Semblance?"

"Almost, but not entirely. Yang's uses damage given to her against her opponents or anger in some cases from what I heard from Neon. As for me, it's mainly mah emotions. It's why my hair makes me look the way I do whenever I have my Semblance activated since it enhances my faunus traits to be more animal like. That plus changes my enraged yells into an actual Lions roar."

"...Man thats actualy pretty bad ass. And Here I was thinking it was going to be something involving rainbows and disco balls."

 **MEANWHILE BACK WITH SIENNA**

Sienna clutched her chest as she saw the image of Adam being brutally massacred, his head torn from his limbs by Jem, who had the image of a barbarian...a barbarian wearing pt shorts but a barbarian nonetheless. At first she thought this fight was going to be Jem taunting Adam until he made a mistake, but in reality, it turned out to be a bloodbath.

Watching Jem hack into his neck like a mad man, watching him tear Adam's head from his shoulder, all to protect his family and his daughter.

 **THA THUMP**

She felt something beat in her chest as she realized how far this man was willing to go for his family, his wife and his adoptive daughter. HIS adoptive daughter...A FAUNUS of all things, he held no animosity towards them, in fact he took one in when she needed help. And that speech he gave, the one about how he really didn't care how different they were, as long as they wanted the same thing, then he had no problem with them.

 **THA THUMP THA THUMP**

The feeling in her chest came back as she thought back to everything she had learned. How one man had managed to point out all the flaws in the white fang, and yet he was trying to make things better for faunus kind. He didn't judge them all based on what a few of them did. In fact he pointed out how there were more people like him. And the way he was willing to fight and die for what he believe in….it was….a trait of an Alpha male.

 **THA THUMP THA THUMP THA THUMP THA THUMP**

"...Jeremiah Cotton….you…..intrigue me….." Sienna said as she stroked his face on the screen.

Meanwhile her ears perked up and she crossed her legs to hide some new feeling.

"Uh Leader Khan are you al-"

"ITS NOTHING!"


	111. Willow really hates Jacques

**So, amazingly after I published the last chapter, it took me about ten minutes top to write this because now I finally have the two big ones out of the way and I can go back to mostly comedic writing.**

 **Anyways to clear up some confusion.**

 **1\. No this is not a harem, this is literally just me coming up with more and more fucked up shit to put in the story.**

* * *

Sienna Khan was walking back and forth in her throne room. In reality she was thinking about Jem, the ferocity in which he attacked Adam. The passion he had in his voice for faunus rights. His savage nature with the bear tooth necklace and being covered in blood. It made her mewl quiver.

And there was the problem…he was married.

"FUCK!" She yelled as she tossed some shit around the room like a pissed off teenager.

"….Great, she must be on her period."

"I can't kill his wife for Oum's sake! That would only piss him off and make that poor girl sad! But I can't let her live! Because then I can't have him! I suppose I could try and make them get a divorce! DAMN IT!" Sienna went Kylo Ren on some computers.

"….You know, our leadership is really going down hill…" One of the grunts said as they couldn't believe this shit.

"Not only are we seen as a joke and a supremacist group now, but our leader is currently crushing on a human and trying to do her best not to kill his wife and claim him as her own."

"Damn, didn't this Jem guy have that crazy girl Tigerstripe as a stalker before?"

"Yeah, shit that guy attracts tigers doesn't he?" His friend made a joke.

"Dude..you're such a fucking loser."

"Hey come on you got to admit, that guy is a magnet for psycho stalkers."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME SHIT STAIN?!" Sienna yelled.

"We called you our lovely leader who we appreciate very much!" He quickly covered his ass.

"MEN! ASSEMBLE THE OTHERS!" Sienna ordered.

As soon as everyone assembled. Sienna made an announcement.

"From now on, we will cease all attacks on the kingdoms! It is clear from that last transmission that our goal will not succeed, not in the way we would expect, instead..we will turn to more peacekeeping activities." Needless to say this did not sit well with everyone.

"Anyone who has a problem with it can feel free to fight me!" She yelled as everyone went silent.

"We will rebuild our image in a new light! And the white fang will live on!" Okay, everyone had to admit, that sounded pretty good.

"And above all, bring me Jeremiah Cotton! No matter the costs!"

"Wait, you're asking us to kidnap him?"

"Not quite."

"I thought you said we wanted a more positive image!"

"Hence why you will bring him to me so I can….personally thank him and show him my gratitude!" Sienna was just covering up her real intentions.

 **Meanwhile at the legion of Doom.**

"OHHHHH HEEEELLLLLL NO!" Salem yelled as she saw her spy cameras look at Sienna Khan.

"M-Mistress?" Tyrian and the others cowered in fear of him.

"THIS BITCH THINK SHE CAN TAKE MY PREY AWAY FROM ME!? I'LL SHOW HER!" Salem was not happy.

First she had to deal with the fact the future father of her grimmlings was MARRIED! And now she had to deal with another psychotic tiger woman trying to get in his pants! LIFE WASN'T FAIR!

"The white fang is no longer our allies! Attack them as you see fit!" She ordered as Hazel raised a hand.

"Don't you think you're being too-" He was cut off as he saw a Grimm Dragon outside glaring at him.

"Never mind." Oh how the mighy had fallen.

Cinder meanwhile in the background couldn't believe this was what their plan to conquer the world had been post poned by. Seriously? The Queen of Grimm wanting to play bedroom ballet with a bald redneck? This was something straight out of some dumb ass fanfiction you would see on Star Hike websites. It drove her mad! Jeremiah wasn't even that handsome! He had muscle, but he wasn't exactly a 10!

And now he had both Salem AND Sienna Khan after him?! All because of how brutal he was when fighting?! IT WAS COMPLETE BULLSHIT!

 **With Jem**

"Aaahhhhh." Jem said as Winter rolled off of him.

"Best Honeymoon…..ever…." She said as they were now officially on their honeymoon.

"You mean so far, keep in mind we still have a ton of stuff to try here." Jem pointed to the gifts they got at the reception.

"Yes I know…I still find it odd Mother sent such…provactive gifts." She said pulling out various sex related games and books.

"My dads were simple, they just gave me condoms and whipped cream." Jem thought that was a bit weird, but he didn't mind.

"Grandmama gave me cookbooks." Winter thought it was odd how many cookbooks she had given.

"Oh yeah forgot to warn you, since you're officially my wife, Grandmama is going to want to teach you and have you learn how to cook so you can properly feed her grandbabies."

"…..She can't do that herself?"

"She can, but she can't be in two places at once."

"You realize she is probably going to outlive all of us? That woman is 97 and still acts like she's 20."

"I get the feeling she runs entirely off of wine, italian food and the need to feed every starving child in the world." Jem joked as Winter cuddled with him.

"Soooo, what next?"

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm good for round ten."

"Perv!"

"Hey not too long ago you were screaming about how 'Wonderful it was that my stamina had improved from our first time'" Jem joked as Winter chuckled with him.

"True, our first time was…uneventful." She remembered that while it was fun, it was also full of awkward moments.

" _Uh oh, Winter I got it in your hair."_

" _Oh! Not in there! Wrong one!"_

" _You're on my hair! Get off!"_

" _Why are you trying to rip those off with your teeth?"_

" _So did I just put it in my mouth?"_

" _Ow, I hit my head!"_

The happy couple needless to say were glad that they were now much more experienced since then. Otherwise they would have a very boring sex life after all. But that won't be described in detail due to the fact the author does not feel comfortable writing lemons and only likes to make jokes involving sex rather than actually write sex scenes.

"Well, I say we still have AAAALLLLL night." Winter said as they both got under the covers.

Meanwhile Nala was playing with Dandy and Neon.

"Why can't I go in to play with Mommy and Daddy?"

"Er, uh…" Dandy REALLY didn't want to explain this.

"They're having special time only for mommies and daddies!" Neon quickly covered him.

"Is it fun?" Nala asked.

"Er, yes Sweetie its very fun!" Neon said.

"I want to have fun!"

"NO SWEETIE! ONLY FOR ADULTS! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG!" Neon really didn't like where this was going.

"Nala! Steak!" Blake said as she showed up with a big T bone.

"Oh boy!" Nala immediately forgot about her Mom and Dad and started to eat.

"Pro tip, if you want to stop Nala from asking questions, give her food."

"Oh thank OUM! I don't want to have the talk with her." Dandy was standing up.

"Well, I have to go, we have places to be, and…I really don't want to hear them having…er you know." Dandy knew Winter and Jem wanted alone time.

That and his hearing was really good. He could hear everything that happened in that room. And it was giving him nightmares whenever he felt himself going into a nap. So he needed to get away from it all. Neon was also willing to go because she had a hard time trying to stop Nala from going in. Because Nala wanted to have fun too, but she didn't understand why or how her mommy and daddy could have fun without her. And she was too young to know the truth.

"Soooo, our children seem to be getting along fine." Willow said as she leaned into Qrow's shoulder.

"Yeah, I kind of don't want to think about it." Qrow really didn't want to think about how his son was having sex.

"I was referring to the ones inside me." Willow said as Qrow looked down at her pregnant belly.

"….Ones…as in plural?"

"Twins…" She said with a smile.

"Please don't be girls, please don't be girls…" He knew the hell of helping raise a girl, it was hard as hell.

"Only one girl hun." Qrow breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Look on the bright side, don't you want a little girl and boy to spoil?" Willow said as Qrow smiled.

"Well, I never did think I would ever get this chance…" He was glad Jem came into his life, his good luck had countered Qrow's own semblance and he could have a normal life.

Now he had a fiancee and some kids on the way…granted when he first found out, he wasn't too excited, but still it was fun to think about. Granted Winter did try to cut his balls off when she found out. But overall, his life was improving for the better.

"Funny how my son marries your daughter, I get engaged to you, the only thing that would be weirder would be if Ruby ended up with your daughter." Qrow joked as Willow giggled.

"Well, Weiss isn't like that, and Ruby seems the kind to be attracted to weapons and machines." Willow joked as Qrow shrugged his shoulders.

"No argument there." They just ended up cuddling on the couch as they fell asleep.

Meanwhile Nala had finished her steak and decided to go exploring.

"Im going on an adventure!" She said as she went off with Blake chasing after her.

"NO! NO ADVENTURES!" Blake didn't want to think of what mischief Nala could cause by herself.

Especially since they were on a cruise ship in the middle of an ocean on a private cruise paid for by Willow with Jacque's money as one last FUCK you to him. Add that onto the fact that this ship was the size of the Titanic, and they had it all to themselves. There was a lot a little girl could do to possibly cause chaos.

"Man! I can't believe they have an olympic size swimming pool on deck!" Ruby said as she couldn't believe all the fun they could have.

"Mother really spared no expense…" Weiss said as she couldn't believe how much she had spent.

"Seems like she really wanted to piss your dad off."

"Tell me about it. First she divorces him and writes him a letter telling him he has a baby dick, and now she takes half of his money, and to make matters worse, she booked this trip for the next six months before the divorce proceedings went through, so it was still on his dime." Yang had to admit, she loved Weiss's mom.

She was so petty and awesome. The only thing that would make things even better was if she took all the furniture from the Schnee Mansion.

 **Back at the Schnee Mansion**

"THAT BITCH!" Jacques yelled as not only did Willow also get all the furniture in the Schnee mansion, but she had turned the pettiness level up to 100.

She also fired all of the mansions servants, and rehired them as her own staff, so Jacques didn't have servants currently, and as one final fuck you, she also cut off the CCT lines to the house so he couldn't communicate. And to seal the deal, if Jacques wanted furniture he had to assemble all of the dustkea furniture she had shipped to the house.

So now he was stuck assembling a bed with Whitley.

And it was a slow and tedious process.

THAT'S how much Willow hated him.

 **LATER IN A LAB**

A pod opened up as a figure came out.

"Ah good, your repairs are done, how do you feel my girl?" A fat man in a lab coat said as the figure smiled.

"I feel….combat ready!"


	112. Jem's Tentacle Rape

**So here is a rushed story, I was running out of ideas, so this is just a short filler to get to another major plot point.**

 **Have fun.**

* * *

"I can't believe that bitch!" Salem said as she was laying in bed her body coverd by the sheets as a picture of Jem lay right beside her while a dart board with Winter and Sienna Khan was on it as they had multiple holes in them from knives.

"It's bad enough I have to dispose of his wife! But now she's going to get in the way as well!" She stood up revealing her nude body to the world.

Yes, she slept in the nude, it made her feel comfortable.

"There has to be something I can do to get him and make my claim!" She paced back and forth as her clothes materialized out of thin air.

"What to do?" She asked herself as her Grimm puppies were sitting in the corner playing with a toy octopus.

"….Wait…" She said as she looked over at the two puppies.

"THAT'S IT!" She ran over and hugged her little puppies.

"Oh my babies! You have given me the most brilliant idea!" She said as her grimm puppies while confused were happy that their mistress was giving them attention and licked her face.

"Now….Jeremiah, we will be together…" She said as she ran a hand across her breasts.

"FOREVER…."

She chuckled darkly as she knew exactly what she was going to do.

 **With Willow**

"Ooooh Qrow!" Willow was glad she finally got some alone time with her man. It had been far too long! And by that she meant it had been almost two days. Which felt like forever for the highly sexually repressed woman who had to deal with a man with a large wallet, large ego and midget dick.

Now she had Qrow, a small wallet, large edo, and a dick that she had nicknamed the Branwen Behemoth.

After Jem and Winter had finished plowing the hell out of each other. Jem decided that he wanted to go and get another tattoo. And Winter was just along for the ride, he brought Qrow along with him. Needless to say they were both drunk and Willow did not think it would go well. But her fears seemed to be for nothing. Because they all came back fairly normal, well, as normal as they could.

Jem now had a tattoo of the serpent Jὄrmungandr tattooed on his forearm. Winter herself just went with a simple snowflake on her left shoulder. And Qrow appeared to be completely bare. So she wasn't worried anymore.

"Er, I'm not in the mood for this tonight." Qrow said as he just wanted to sleep.

"huh?" Willow wasn't sure she was hearing right. Because she could have sworn she heard Qrow turn down sex.

"Why?!" She yelled at Qrow, she was horny damn it!

"You know its just….we had it last night…."

"Is it because of my pregnancy?" She asked as he shook his head.

"No its just I'm feeling a little….deflated…" He said as she smirked.

"Well I can change that really quick…" She said as she started rubbing his crotch eager to get a reaction.

"Eep!" He jumped a little at the touch, but Willow noticed something odd.

It wasn't in pleasure or surprise…it was a tinge of pain.

"Qrow…." Her voice got serious.

"Yes?"

"Show me your cock…."

"Huh?"

"SHOW….ME….YOUR….COCK….." She demanded as she had a sneaky suspicion.

"Er, you'r not usually this vulgar…" Suddenly he felt himself pushed onto the bed as she grabbed his pants.

"SHOW ME!" She yelled as she fumbled with the belt.

"WOAH! HEY!" He got off and tried to crawl away.

"SHOW ME!" She yelle as she dragged him back by the back of his pants.

"Help! Rape!" He yelled as Willow was angry and he was worried she would discover his secret.

"LET ME SEE IT!" She yelled as she succeeded in getting his pants off.

"CALM DOWN! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" He said as her nails were digging into his hips.

"SHOW ME!"

"NO!"

"PLEASE!" Suddenly his boxers were gone, and his erect member was there for all to see.

And Willow…..

Willow was stunned.

Just as she expected, Qrow had a tat on his dick. But it was not what she expected.

What she saw on the head was a crudely done picture of Jem's face with a smile with two little stick figure arms on the side of it, with a caption on the lower part of the shaft that read 'Lets do this!"

"….EXPLAIN…..NOW…."

"I swear to god! We were really drunk last night! And Jem was getting his tattoo done, and I think he jokingly made a suggestion, but I was too drunk and probably took it serious! I swear to god I woke up with it like this!" He said as he looked down at his little buddy.

"….YOU…HAVE…..YOUR…SON….TATTOED ON YOUR DICK?!" She was pissed.

How could she possibly enjoy taking it in her mouth if all she saw was Jem's face! Her son in law!

"….TOMORROW, you get that removed!" At this Qrow covered his dangly bits.

"But….But….But Willow…" He cried in desperation.

"THE TATTOO! NOT YOUR DICK!"

"Oh…okay…"

"You're lucky we're rich enough to afford someone who will laser it off!"

"…Did you say laser?"

 **CRRAAASSSSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSSHBJHBLBLIBLHBLBAH**

Suddenly the whole cruise ship shook as the couple got thrown in the air.

"Ugh! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! WILLOW YOU OKAY?!" He called out not sure where his fiance was.

"UGHE SJNK." He heard mumbling as he looked down.

"WILLOW! GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! WE GOT TO GO!"

"AAGGGGGHHHH HELP ME!" They heard Jem scream in a high pitched voice.

 **RIGHT OUTSIDE**

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Jem cried in distress as Winter was looking up.

"OH….MY…..GOD!" She yelled as she looked at the massive creature in front of her.

Rising out of the ocean was a giant black SQUID. Jem was TERRIFIED of any creature with tentacles due to accidentally stumbling across Yaoi Tentacle Hentai when he was a kid and had been traumatized a the sheer brutality of tentacle rape.

So he couldn't fight back as he saw multiple tentacles reaching up towards him.

"HELP! IT'S GONNA RAPE ME!" He was struggling as the tentacles got closer.

"ITS NOT GONNA RAPE YOU!" Winter said as she tried to slice through some tentacles, but to no avail.

"SAVE ME WINTER!" Suddenly he saw the cruise ship getting farther and farther away.

"WAIT! NO GO BACK! NO ONE IS GETTING INSIDE MY ASS!" He yelled as a tentacle was getting closer and closer.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" He yelled as he was certain this was the part where the tentacle rape occurred.

Only for the tentacle to open up and swallow him inside.

"AAAHHHHH!" He yelled as the squid swam away.

"JEM NO!" Winter yelled out as she wasn't quick enough.

But the squid disappeared under the waves.

"NNOOOOOO!" She yelled as Ruby came up.

"Winter! It's alright! I shot a tracking device onto it! We're tracking the squids movements!"

"It ate him!"

"No it didn't! Squid Grimm only absorb something in their tentacles for storage, not for consumption, he's still alive!" Ruby said as Winter suddenly remembered her lessons.

But where could the Squid be taking him?

Also…

"Er, the tracking device isn't necessary…" She said as she pulled out her own.

"Huh? Why do you have that?"

"…..I may have had a dog microchip put in Jem's right ass cheek….."

"….WHAT THE FUCK WHY?!" Jaune yelled as he didn't expect to walk out to THAT conversation.

"AFTER THE BATTLE OF BEACON I WAS NOT RISKING HIM GOING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WAS!" Winter defended her actions.

She was desperate, she needed to get Jem back!

 **Back with Salem**

"YES!" Salem knew her pet would be able to get him.

She walked over to a wall covered in a giant black curtain as she tore the curtains away.

Only to reveal a treasure trove of sex games, toys, books, movies, and various items meant to stimulate and increase pleasure.

"Soon my dear Jem…..soon…." Salem said as she slipped into something more….alluring…

Soon, she would have her prey…


	113. Salem Wants The D

**Okay guys, I finally got another chapter in. Kind of lost my mojo for a bit, but getting back into it. So here we go.**

* * *

"AAAHHH!" Jem felt a bag over his head as he felt a strange lack of clothes. And worse, he felt all weird and sticky as he got spit out of that Squid Grimm.

"AM I dead?!" He yelled out hoping someone would give him an answer.

"Oh no…far from it." He heard a sultry voice said as he felt himself being hoisted onto something furry and tied down with chains as he felt himself moving.

Okay, so apparently he was captured by barbarians? Who were currently carrying him on a giant bear or something large and furry? It was hard to tell, he couldn't see anything.

"What happened?"

"Oh, I just found you having trouble with that squid grimm, so I helped you out." The voice said as he felt himself placed on something soft as the big furry object stopped moving.

"Oh thank god! I'm terrified of squids! I really appreciate it lady!" He said as he was just glad to be alive.

"Ohhh, I bet you do." Again she spoke in a sultry voice.

"Uhm, but could you possibly take this bag over my head, I kind of need to get back to my wife and kid." He said as he heard the lady growl.

"Oh, I'll take the bag off." She said as he breathed out a sigh of relief.

Finally he could thank her properly and get out of-

FWOOSH

And there was Salem, the Queen of Grimm. But that wasn't the only thing, she was completely….NUDE…

"…." Jem went silent for a bit as his brain processed what was happening.

"But I'm afraid you won't be going back to your wife any time soon." Salem said seductively as she played with her breasts teasing Jem.

" _ **HOLY FUCK!"**_ His brain and his dick were going off the chain as his brain tried to placate his penis.

" _NO DICK! GO DOWN!"_

" _NEVER! THERE IS A MOUNTAIN TO BE CLIMBED AND LIKE SIR EDMUND HILLARY! I SHALL MOUNT THAT GIANT PEAK AND CLAIM IT FOR GOD AND COUNTRY!"_ His penis fought back against the brain.

" _HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WE ARE MARRIED?!"_

" _NAY I HAVE NOT! BUT CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO HIT THAT LIKE CHRIS BROWN AT A RIHANNA CONCERT!"_

" _THAT IT BESIDE THE POINT! WE ARE MARRIED! TO A VERY SEXY WOMAN AND YOU WANT TO CHEAT!"_

" _THE DICK KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES! ONLY CONQUEST!"_

" _GO DOWN!"_

" _NEVER!"_

" _NO BAD DICK!"_

 _ **BOING**_

Jem's dick was standing out and proud as he suddenly realized he wasn't wearing any clothes.

"Oh my, is that for me?" Salem walked forward with a sway in her hips.

"WAIT! NO! I'M MARRIED! I'M FAITHFUL!" Jem yelled as his hands were bound but he could still run.

"Oh that's cute…you think that will stop me…." Salem said as her eyes glowed red as her hands reached out.

"I have waited a LOOONNGGG Time for this…" She said as her tongue snaked out and licked her lips.

"….Okay that was kind of hot, BUT NO! I won't do it!" Jem didn't care how hot she was, he was faithful to the love of his life.

"Oh my Sweet little Jem." Suddenly Salem's eyes glowed bright red.

"I am afraid that is not up to you…." She said as she held up some rope and a collar that said 'Salem's Pet.'

"…..Oh…Shit…" Under any normal circumstance, Jem would be turned on.

But now he realized that Salem was horny as hell and….wait a minute….WHY DID SHE WANT HIM?!

"Hold on a second! Why do you want to fuck me?!" He couldn't believe he was asking that.

"Oh, its so simple, I saw the way you killed Tigerstripe…so brutal….so efficient…so…. _erotic."_ Salem purred the last part out.

"….Oh god you have a blood and gore fetish…." He suddenly didn't feel comfortable with this.

"Don't worry, tonight…its all vanilla stuff…" She said but then looked down at the collar and rope.

"….For the most part…." She said as she gave chase.

"NO! I'M FAITHFUL!"

"I LOVE A MAN WHO FIGHTS BACK!"

"HELP RAPE!"

"LET ME FUCK YOU!"

 **With Winter**

"You're sure this is the location?" Ruby asked as Winter put her tracking device away.

"Yes, I'm shocked, why was he taken to a five star hotel that's been out of business for years?" Winter was honestly confused.

"I don't know, you're sure that's working right?" Jaune couldn't believe that Winter put a tracking device in Jem's ass.

"Of course, I only had the best tech for this tracking device."

"I still think that's a gross invasion of privacy." Blake was into some weird shit, but that took the cake.

"I'm sure he'll agree with me it was the right thing to do!" Winter knew Jem would forgive her once she explained her reasoning.

"Let's save Daddy!" Nala said as she pulled out her 44.

"GENTLEMAN! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR BLOOD AND GUTS!" Nala yelled as she kicked down the door and ran in.

"…..Nala just ran in." Weiss said as everyone was frozen for a second.

"SHIT! NALA!" Winter ran in after her daughter.

"GEEEETTTT SOOOMMMMEEEEE!" Nala was yelling as they heard gun shots.

 **With Sienna Khan**

"My Lady, is this really the best use of our resources?" A white fang grunt said as Sienna shushed him.

"Our resources tracked that giant squid to this location, so I have come to personally thank Jeremiah Cotton for helping us see the light on ths matter." Sienna said as that was the excuse she was giving.

In reality, she was debating whether or not she wanted to fuck his brains out. But that would be decided when she saw him.

"But, we don't even know if he's alive…" A grunt said as Sienna held up a pad.

"According to the tracking device his wife put in his ass cheek, he's still alive…"

"….Why the fuck would his wife put a tracking device in his ass?"

"I don't know! But it works! His vitals looked completely normal, yet strangely a high level of arousal and a spike in hormones…" She didn't know what was causing that, but it may work to her advantage.

"Wait, how do you have access to that?" Another grunt gave her a weird look.

"I may have hacked into her private server and found the information for the tracking device." Sienna said as she smirked at her own intelligence.

"That's stupid, what kind of woman would keep such sensitive information on a private server?" The white fang grunt pondered.

Seriously, do you know the risk you would take with your data getting discovered and making you look like a fool.

"I don't know, but apparently Ms. Schnee is also a connosieur of many sex postion books…." Sienna had t o admit, it was funny to see that the prim and proper Schnee had a perverted side.

"Whatever! Lets just find this guy already!" The grunts didn't want to hear anymore.

Well…actually they wanted to know if Sienna had found any Nudes of Winter Schnee on her private server. Hey they may have hated her because of her family, but even they would admit that she was prime spank bank material.

You would have a hard time finding anyone in the white fang who had not jerked off to a picture of the Schnee women. It was kind of like a hate filled wack off session.

 **Salem and Jem**

"GOT YOU!" Salem said as she had managed to rip all of Jem's clothes off of him as he was being dragged back by his ankles.

"NO! I DON'T WANT THIS!" Jem yelled as she flipped him over and his member was sticking straight up.

"Oh, then what do you call that?!" She got an excited look as she flipped the tip of it.

"ITS NOT MY OWN DOING!" He said as she scurried away from her grip and attempted to crawl away.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Jem suddenly found something tying his legs together.

"What the?" He said as he said a black leather strap holding his legs together.

"Don't bother, those straps are specifically made to negate aura." She said as she licked her lips.

"…Wait…they specifically make BDSM equipment to cancel out Aura?"

"Well of course, you didn't really think Huntsman and Hunttresses didn't have fetishes do you? Companies make millions every year off of this specialized gear." Salem explained as Jem was surprised.

"Huh, that's kind of interesting." Suddenly he realized what was going on.

"WAIT! WHA-" Suddenly he felt a ball gag placed in his mouth as his arms were tied to a bed post.

"No where to run now." Salem said as her tongue flicked out again as she stood over the top of Jem.

"MMMMFFF MHFFFMMM MFHFHNK!" Jem was whimpering as he realized what was about to happen.

In reality, this would have been a fantasy come true for any nerd. After all, who wouldn't want to bang the Queen of Grimm. But this wasn't reality, he was tied up, and said 'No' multiple times. But Salem was determined to make him her pet.

"Oh I almost forgot." Salem Sat on his abs as Jem blushed a bit at the skin on skin contact.

Suddenly she leaned forward just enough to where her breasts were a few inches away from his face and clipped something around his neck.

"There we go!" She said as she made Jem look in a mirror.

Sure enough, there was the 'Salem's pet' collar right around his neck.

"Oh now we are going to have some fun…" She said as she took the ball gag out.

"But..lets start with this first." She said as she crouched over his face and prepared to lower herself.

"NO! HELP! SOMEONE!" Suddenly the door to the room blew up.

"JEM! ARE YOU OK…WHAT THE FUCK?!" Winter covered Nala's eyes.

"What is go- OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Jaune couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Mr. Cotton! We've come to res…..WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Sienna yelled as she came out of the vent.

"JEM!" Winter didn't know what the fuck was going on.

"WINTER! HELP! SHE'S GONNA RAPE ME!"

As soon as those words left Jem's mouth, Salem felt a sense of dread as she saw not just Winter Schnee glaring at her with the fury of a thousand frozen tundras, but also Sienna Khan sharpening her claws as she glared at the Grimm Queen.

"….God dammit, can't I catch a break?" Salem said as she got off of Jem and materialized her clothes and weapons as she got ready to fight.

Meanwhile Nala found something fun in the corner to do while the adults got ready to fight.


	114. The Sex Fight

**Well, I had two weeks leave, and now its over. And I'm feeling depressed as shit, so here you go.**

* * *

"SAVE ME! SA-" Salem stuffed the ball gag back in Jem's mouth.

"I'll get back to you later." She said as she summoned a sword using her magic.

"Jem? Are you okay?" Winter was expecting a lot of things.

She was expecting the Grimm Queen to be tearing him apart. She expected him to be tortured by her for his interference in her plans. She expected Jem would be turned into a mindless slave. But never….NEVER in a million years did she imagine that this would happen. She wanted to FUCK JEM?! WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK, HOW THE FUCK DID SHE FUCKING FUCK…FUCK!

Needless to say Winter was confused and pissed off.

" _Oh this bitch did not even think about touching my Alpha!"_ Sienna thought as she was ready to kill Salem.

Not only was she pissed that she would have to deal with Schnee as competition. But now they had the mother of all Grimm to fight against for Jem's affections? Life wasn't fair! Why did this happen? Did she piss off some diety? Or was God a really sadistic bastard? She didn't know. But one thing was for sure, seeing Salem ready to ride Jem's face had triggered something in her mind, a primal desire to maim and tear apart the future father of her cubs.

And to be honest, it was kind of hot…

Her getting mad, not Salem mounting Jem's face.

Meanwhile Winter was thinking very similar thoughts. Although she was thinking more along the lines that she was the only one who was allowed to ride Jem's face. So she was sharpening her sword as she glared at him.

"….Is….Is this real?" Jaune couldn't believe this.

Never did he imagine he would see his good friend tied up naked and gagged on a bed of black sheets as he had three women fighting over him.

"Why the hell is Sienna Khan helping?!" Blake couldn't believe this.

She could understand Winter wanting to protect her mate, but Sienna?! She didn't even know him! What's worse was that they were on different sides! Why did she suddenly want to save him? It made no sense! THIS WHOLE DAY MADE NO SENSE!

It wouldn't surprise her if Jem got some weird bad girl harem stalker thing going on. Because that seemed to happen a lot. First it was Salem if her being naked and trying to rape Jem was any indication, now it was Sienna. Who was next? Cinder? No, that couldn't happen. And It wasn't going to because another author in another universe was already having that problem. The point was that they serious issues now. And it was going to drive Winter crazy.

Well, she steeled herself, she knew this would be a viscious battle! A battle of good vs evil! A battle of love vs lust! A battle of humans vs grimm! A battle of wife vs home wrecker! A battle of

"GAAAAHHHH!" Sienna tackled Salem and started pulling her hair.

"GAH! YOU BITCH!" Salem yelled as she was now pulling on Sienna's ears.

"…." Blake wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not.

"Did…did Sienna just pull a 'bitch my man ain't yo baby's daddy?" She asked as she was not expecting this.

"Yes…yes she did." Weiss said as she saw Winter over by the bed where Jem was staying.

"HUUURR HGEJENK!" Jem tried to yell, but the ball gag was muffling his voice.

She popped the ball gag out of his mouth as he could finally talk.

"I SWEAR TO GOD! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!" Jem defended himself.

"I know that! But why does she want to fuck you?!" Winter yelled as Sienna and Salem were wrestling.

"She said something about being turned on by the way I killed Tigerstripe!"

"….Wait, didn't she like Tigerstripe? Why would she get turned on by the way you killed her?"

"I DON'T KNOW! CAN YOU PLEASE UNT-" Suddenly Jem's eyes went wide and Winter noticed that

BOING! His dick stood at full mast.

"Oh god this embarassing…" He said as he averted his eyes.

"What got you g-" Suddenly Winter turned her head and saw what was happening.

Salem and Sienna were still wrestling but some clothes had been ripped as both were now wrestling chest to chest as their breasts rubbed against each other.

"….You pervert…" Winter glared at him as she realized he got turned on by the display of lesbionics in front of him.

"Hey! I'm a dude!"

"Still no!"

"….You could join in if you want?"

SLAP

"AAAHHH!" Somehow he knew that wouldn't go well for him, but he said it anyways.

"I am not engaging in any lesbian activities with the enemy!"

"I know! It was a joke!"

RIIIIPPPP

Suddenly Sienna pulled back as her bra was ripped off revealing those tig ol bitties to the world.

BOOOOOIIINNNG!

"OH COME ON!" Jem at this point was harder than a rock.

"Wow…" Winter was actually kind of impressed.

"I can't believe this is going to go to waste!" Jem was mad that he was this hard, and they couldn't use it.

"….Well….there is a private area back there…"She said as she untied Jem.

"Are you suggesting we have sex while they fight?"

"…..It would piss Salem off." Winter said as Jem smiled.

"Let's do this!" He picked her up and ran to the back room as Salem and Sienna continued to wrestle.

Meanwhle, with the others.

"I can't believe this right now…" Ruby said as she was ready to walk away.

"We come here expecting a bloody fight, and instead we get a porno…." Weiss couldn't believe her eyes.

"This is bullshit." Jaune wasn't looking because he didn't trust his own eyes.

Nora however couldn't look away. Mostly because her brain had shorted out and was still rebooting. Glynda had put her riding crop away and was looking over the various floggers and whips on the wall, and she started to realize that she could finally understand why Jem had called her the 'Blond Domme of Beacon Academy.'

This kind of shit was just getting out of hand.

Pyrrha was walking again, but still not in the best fighting condition, and was glad they didn't have to fight, but still wasn't sure what to do about this….it was FUCKING INSANE

"GAH GAH!" They turned to see an odd fighting technique.

Sienna was shoving a 12 inch dildo down Salem's throat.

"CHOKE ON IT BITCH!" She said as she was trying to force it deeper and deeper down.

"…..WHAT THE FUCK?!" Weiss said as Nala was nowhere to be found, and Blake was getting a heavy blush on her face.

POW!

Salem punched Sienna in the face as she pulled the dildo out of her throat and threw it away. The result was that it accidentally hit Qrow in the face.

"OH GOD MY FACE!" The flying rubber cock had broken through his aura and somehow broken his nose.

Unbeknowst to him, Sienna had been charging the dildo with aura, trying to force it deeper into Salem's throat, so that a focused beam of pure energy would shoot down into her stomach and fill her up until she exploded. However, that plan went haywire.

And now Qrow had to deal with the fact that he had a broken nose due to a giant rubber cock.

"TRY THIS BITCH!" Salem yelled as she slammed Sienna into restraints and started whipping her ass and back.

"Uhm….is this still a fight?" Blake asked as she was writing furiously in her notebook as Sun was recording the whole thing on his scroll.

"At this point…who cares…." Qrow said as he was nursing his broken, bleeding nose.

"Ahhhh." Jem and Winter came out of the back room with their clothes looking disheveled but back on.

"Okay lets go." He said as he was certain they could just walk out.

"Wait, really?" They all asked.

"Yeah those two are really distracted with each other." Jem said as he pointed to Salem and Sienna

Only to currently see them sword fighting with what appeared to be the dildo bats from Saints Row.

"….This is messed up." And the group decided to leave while they still had their sanity intact.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Nala came running up to them as they closed the door to Salem and Sienna's fight.

And she held up a Grimm beowulf puppy.

"Can I keep him?"


	115. A New Beginning (SHORT)

**So people have been questioning my sanity because of the last chapter. And well sanity is overrated, plus I'm so fucked up in the head right now, I probably won't be able to make anything serious for awhile.**

 **Anyways, I did get an anonymous review saying my story is 'grossly offensive'.**

 **Well yeah, thats because it is. Literally, I lay awake some nights and think**

 **"How can I fuck with people today?"**

 **So here is my latest attempt. Yes I was drunk when I wrote this.**

* * *

"NO!" Winter yelled.

"OF COURSE!" Jem yelled in joy as he pet the little beowulf puppy.

"RUFF!" The little puppy barked in approval as its tongue was hanging out of its mouth.

"Yay!" Nala said as she hugged it.

"Jem! It's a grimm!"

"Yeah, but it's a cute grimm!" He said as he cuddled the little puppy.

"I don't think Zeus would approve of this!" All of a sudden she looked down at Zeus.

"BARK BARK!" Only to see him playing with the puppy as if it was his own pup.

"….Well, I don't think mother would approve!"

"OOOHH AREN'T YOU THE CUTEST!" Willow saidas she played with the little grimm puppy too.

"IS ANYBODY ON MY SIDE HERE?!" She felt like she was taking crazy pills.

After they had escaped from the Grimm Queen. And Jem had gone through some intensive interrogation from Winter to make sure he hadn't been raped. Winter turned her attention onto Nala and her new pet. Winter did not approve of this new pet at all. It was a Grimm! Grimm were dangerous, they ate people and were the very thing they fought against.

"RUFF RUFF!" It barked and started licking her face.

"…." No matter how cute it was, it was still a Grimm!

"Jem!" She said as she knew she couldn't allow this.

"What do you want me to do? Take him out back and shoot him?" Jem asked as Nala looked terrified.

"DADDY NO!" She held her new puppy in fear.

"I'm not going to sweetie, but your mother seems to think that is a good idea." At this Winter glared at him.

"JEM! I DID NO-"

"M-M-Mommy….you wouldn't do that….would you?" Nala trembled her lip as she gave Winter the kitty cat eyes.

"NO! NO! I won't fall for this!" She said as Nala started to tremble her lip a little more and stare at her.

"No! It's a….grimm." She felt her resolve breaking.

"Pwwwweeeaaasssseee?" Nala asked in the most innocent tone.

"…" Winter went silent.

Jem looked on in baited breath as he wondered how his wife would react. In all honesty he was having trouble dealing with Nala's cute factor. He was tempted to punch himself in the dick so he could feel manly again. Luckily he wasn't that insane. But he would still need to punch a wall in order to get his manly essence back, because goddam, it was hard not to daaaaww over Nala.

"UGH! FINE! SHE CAN KEEP HIM!" Winter threw her hands up in the air as she turned away.

"Yay! I'm gonna name you Lambchop!" She said to her new pet.

"…..You're naming him Lambchop?" Jem had to resist the urge to laugh at that.

Only Nala would give such a cute name to such a creature that would eventually grow to be a beast of destruction. And yet he couldn't find it in himself to care because this was just too perfect. I mean can you imagine Nala in the future ordering Lambchop to attack on her command. It was just too hilarious to think about!

And then another thought struck him. No boys would ever dare go near his little girl if she was being guarded by a giant Beowulf. Oh it was perfect! He wouldn't have to be as protective over her as he usually was! This was all working in his benefit. And as an added bonus, he now knew Winter could not resist Nala's kitty cat eyes. It was all going according to plan.

"This can't be happening." Blake was currently trying not to think about how far the white fang had fallen.

First Adam leads them into a new violent age, then Adam gets killed, and then Sienna Khan turns out to be some horny cat looking to get some of the Cotton Dick, which in turn causes her whole sex fight with Salem to be BROADCASTED on the internet, where it had become the most viewed porn tape In existence, and now even the remnants of the white fang had disbanded as they were no longer being taken seriously after that whole fiasco. When she told her parents about what had happened, they suggested they make a new organization to promote faunus/human relations, but name it something completley different and make sure NOBODY knew about their former connections to the white fang, because this was just too ridiculous to exist.

Oh, speaking of which, Grandmama was still on Menagerie, and Kali would often tell Blake about how hard she and Ghira had to erm 'workout' to burn off all the calories due to Grandmama's cooking. It was a miracle that the whole island wasn't obese by now.

But apparently along with 'Grandmama's cookhouse and eatery' opening up on the island, there was also 'Grandmama's Iron pumping muscles of steel' gym, as well as 'Grandmama's Italian Beatdown' defense sessions. The Italian beatdown considering of her teaching everyone how to beat the shit out of everyone using tools you would find in the kitchen.

It was such a stereotype but it was hilarious.

Blake despite being grateful that the violent past of the white fang was behind them, and something new had taken it's place. She also couldn't help but be embarassed.

This whole damn scenario seemed like something a drunk infantryman would write after a night of binge drinking and strip clubs.

I mean come on! Jem and Winter having sex WHILE SALEM AND SIENNA KHAN WERE FIGHTING?! MORE IMPORTANTLY HOW THE FUCK DID SIENNA MATCH SALEM?! AND ON TOP OF THAT! WHY DID THEY FIGHT WITH SEX TOYS?! NONE OF IT MADE ANY FUCKING SENSE!

What force was at rule in this world that caused this insane shit to happen?!

 ***Meanwhile in the real world***

"Dude, why don't you put a midget gangbang scene into the story?" Some mexican guy said to a bald soldier.

"Why the fuck would I put a midget gangbang scene into the story?"

"You just had a scene with Salem and Sienna beating each other with sex toys, and you're questioning why?"

"Hey, I was drunk when I wrote that."

 **Back to the story**

"Where do we go from here?" Blake asked Sun.

"Well, you can always make a new faunus rights group?"

"And what will we call it?"

"Well, it will have to be opposite of the white fang."

"Hmmm, how about the Black Bear Collective?"

"Sun…."

"What?"

"The abbreviation for that is BBC…."

"Oh…yeah…never mind."

"Why not the Massive Intercontinental League of Faunus?" Blake suggested.

"….Blake…take away the Of and what does that abbreviate to?" Sun pointed out.

"Oh….Shit…"

This was going to take a while.

Meanwhile Followers of Adam were working on their new faunus group.

"Are we sure about this?" A cat faunus said as she sharped her sword.

"Our leader was cut down in cold blood, we have to avenge his death!" A snow leopard faunus said as he pounded his fist against the table.

"Then we are all in agreement, we form a new group?"

"Yes, from the ashes of the white fang will rise a new group."

"We should name it something simple so as to hide our true intentions until it is time to start."

"That's fine. I already have a new Name." And with that their new group was created.

What was its new name? The name they chose so they could hide in plain sight as a regular group until It was time to reveal their true nature to the world?

Faunus

Activist

Group.


	116. Jem hates toy story 3

**So sorry guys, it took me awhile to update this. But I've been really busy. I originally intended to update this when I first found out Stan Lee passed, but no matter how much I tried I couldn't get a tribute chapter that would do him justice. So instead I'll just say a few words in the authors note. Stan Lee was someone I never got to know personally. But his work in Marvel comics was always an escape for a geeky kid like me. Growing up I loved Marvel superheroes, loved the movies, even the bad ones. And learning about Stan Lee as I read more into the history of Marvel just made me like the guy even more. And for a bit he was what inspired me to try and come up with my own stories. Again, you guys have probably already heard this from multiple authors on here. And it may be getting repetitive. But I just want to say RIP to Stan Lee.**

 **I hope you all enjoy the chapter. And even though its late, lets have a Drink for good ol Stan.**

* * *

Jem and Winter decided that they all needed some time off. So the happy couple, their daughter, and their new Grimm Puppy decided to sit down for a movie. Lambchop was cuddled up with Zeus who was all too happy to welcome the new pup into the family.

They had all decided to watch the toy story movies. But there was only one problem.

"I'm not watching it!" Jem yelled as Nala held up the third one.

"Daddy? Why not?" She had no idea why her father didn't want to watch it.

"That is the most depressing movies of all time!" Jem really didn't like the third toy story. Not because he thought it was bad, on the contrary he thought it was good.

It was just that when it got to the scene where Big Baby picks up his old heart shaped tag with Daisy's name on it and says ' _Mama'_ he started crying like a little bitch every single time.

"Come on Daddy! I've never seen it!" Nala had been first introduced to Toy Story and she wanted to see the third one.

"Trust me! I'm saving you!" He said as he didn't want to go through that again.

"Stop being a drama queen!" Winter couldn't believe her husband who had been so masculine up to this point was making a big deal out of a cartoon baby doll.

"Come on Winter! I saw you cry too at that scene!" He said as she huffed.

"One time! And I still watch it, why can't you?" She didn't understand him.

"I don't know, everytime I see a kid sadly saying Mama as if they're never going to see them again, it messes with me, especially since he really does never see Daisy again, which makes it even worse….come on, I can't be the only one who really wishes Big Baby could have had a reunion with Daisy?" Jem at this point was just rambling.

"You're such a little girl!" She threw her hands up in the air.

"For a redneck who is okay with hunting and killing his own meat, you sure can act like a child sometimes."

"Pwwweeeeaaassseee Daddy?" Nala begged as she had completely ignored their conversation as she figured it was an adult conversation.

"….Okay fine…..but I'm leaving the room when that part comes up!" Jem said as he didn't want to watch that scene.

"Yay!"

"See? Nala is doing it, you big baby…." Winter rolled her eyes.

 **AN HOUR LATER**

"WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Nala was bawling her eyes out as Big Baby started crying as Lotso was yelling at him.

"…Damn it…." Winter started to see Jem's point.

He walked in soon after the scene where Big baby threw Lotso in the dumpster.

"What did I tell you? Depressing as hell." He said as Nala hugged her father for comfort.

Many would find this sight odd, a grown man who looked like a Viking Jarl crying and hugging a little girl with a lion tail and holding a stuffed Simba toy. While a Grimm puppy was cuddling with a big dog on the couch. Winter knew her family was weird, but she wasn't expecting stuff like this to happen all the time. She rolled her eyes and left the room to get some more snacks. She swore to god, she could HEAR Jem losing testoserone as he cried.

"Jem! Stop that crying!"

"I can't help it! That gets me everytime! It's like when Wilson the volleyball floats away! Or when Bubba dies in Vietnam! Or when John Coffey rides the lightning! Or when the army goes and tells Mrs. Ryan that almost all of her sons are dead! It gets to me!" He said as Winter realized something.

"….Have you noticed that all the movies that make you cry have Tom Hanks in them?"

"Hey Tom Hanks is a great actor!"

"I thought you didn't like actors who supported Hillary?"

"Where did you get that idea? I may not agree with their politics, it doesn't mean I can't enjoy their movies!"

"….Okay fair enough."

"Plus it's Tom Hanks!"

"Don't tell me you have some weird crush on him like you do with Chris Pratt?"

"Not at all! But you got to admit, he's a great actor!"

"Ugh, I'm….." Winter felt a little dizzy.

"You alright?" He asked as she felt a bit nauseous.

"I think I ate some bad popcorn…" She suddenly rushed to the bathroom.

"BWAAGGG!" She threw up in the toilet as Jem walked in.

"…" He was silent as she looked back at him.

"Stop staring at me and hold my hair!" She yelled as he obeyed.

Sure enough, Jem was holding his wife's hair back as she threw up into the toilet bowl. Now this was certainly a switcharoo, usually Winter was the one rubbing his back if he drank too much and had hangover where he couldn't keep his lunch down. But now here he was, holding her hair back and rubbing her back trying to make her feel better.

"Thanks…" She said as she tilted her head back.

"You al….Uh oh….." Jem suddenly had an idea.

"What?"

"You suddenly got sick….."

"Yeah so?"

"….And….we….you know….have fun times….a lot…" He said as she looked at him.

"You can't seriously be suggesting that-"

 **THREE HOURS LATER**

"I'M PREGNANT?!"


	117. Taking a Break

**Hey guys, so sorry to tell you this, But i got to Put Out of Place on hold because frankly I've burned myself out after writing it for so long. And I need time to step back and relax. I mean, I remember I used to LOVE writing this story. But latey its become more and more of a chore. So I'm not abandoning it, that being said. I need to take a long break from it. Same goes for Out of Time, and Even More out of place. Basically, going to be taking a long break from the Out of Place universe so I can focus on other things.**

 **I can't thank you guys enough for actually sticking with this story. Because honestly when I first started this, I did it because lets face it, everyone wants to insert themselves into the story, but nobody wants to be the douchebag who puts himself in the story. But lucky for you guys, I AM A DOUCHEBAG, and I did it.**

 **Now, this will be the last chapter for awhile. I'm thinking about taking maybe a six month hiatus from it. Starting January 1st. So next time you see a chapter for this will probably be in June.**

 **Like I said guys, I just need a long break, so I can focus on my work life, my personal life. I'm not going to lie guys, things have been going great. But the thing is, right now my main goals are becoming stronger physically and mentally, and in order to do that, I'm letting my mind go to other things besides fanfiction.**

 **I'll still focus on other stories like Ulfhednar and Endless Possibilities. But it will be slow.**

 **Don't worry guys, I'm not abandoning the story. Just need to take a holiday.**

 **I mean, I've been writing this thing for a long time, and its over 100 chapters long. And it has been one hell of a alcohol induced party trip. But I'm running low on material.**

 **Plus when this thing first started as a self insert, but not a 'Over glorifying mary sue' self insert, I never intended for it to become a crack fic, but it did. So I kind of want to go back to when it was still funny, but also had some serious moments.**

 **So, I'll go on my break, and hopefully come back some time later with fresh energy and new ideas.**

* * *

Needless to say as soon as Jem got it confirmed. His mind shut down for a bit. Winter was staring at the doctor with her mouth open as she couldn't believe the results of the pregnancy test. But it was true. She was pregnant.

"Yes Mrs. Cotton, you are indeed pregnant." The doctor said as he felt bad for the comatose guy in the back.

"I'M GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER?!" Nala yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Nala! Be quiet!" Winter was a bit stressed out.

"I'M SO...HAPPPPPYYY!" She screamed out again as she turned to go outside the door.

"Where are you going?!" She yelled as her daughter ran away.

"EVERYONE! I'M GONNA BE A BIG SISTER! MY MOMMY AND DADDY HAD SEX! AND THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!" Winter could have died from embarassment at hearing that.

Suddenly she heard the sound of a scroll dialing.

"GRANDMA! I'M GONNA BE A BIG SISTER!" Suddenly they heard excited screeches.

"NALA! PUT YOUR FATHER ON THE PHONE!" Suddenly Nala ran back in with the phone.

"MY SON! YOU HAVE MADE ME THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ALIVE!" Finally Mama got what she wanted.

Jem wasn't going to end up dying alone a childless loser in the basement jerking off the Hentai like she thought! He actually was going to give her the gift of grandchildren! Oh how she had such great plans for them!

Jem's brain was again fried as he couldn't believe he was going to be a father...well technically he was, but Nala was adopted when she was old enough to understand...he would have babies...babies had to be changed...and diapered...the horror...

The sleepless nights...the horrible crying...the terrible twos...the possibility of Winter breaking his hand as she gave birth to his future offspring.

Needless to say, he freaked out.

"AAAHHHHH!" He jumped out the window of the building.

"...Does Daddy realize we're on the fourth floor?" Nala asked as they heard a thump.

"Oooowwwwwww..." Jem said.

"He does now." Winter huffed in frustration.

Only for Jem to suddenly appear back at the door of the office. Seemingly okay, excpet for some bruises, but he seemed calm again as he held his flask.

"Okay, now that I got the initial freakout done and over with...I'M GONNA BE A FATHER!" He bounced up and down with Nala in circles.

"Wait...you're...okay with this?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just jumped out the fucking window..."

"Okay, Winter, just because I had a moment where I feared for my life, and wanted to honestly escape, and was honestly hoping that fall would kill me doesn't mean I don't want this..." He said with a smile.

"...Jem...you're making NO SENSE." Winter was confused as hell.

"Okay, here is the thing, once it hit my brain what was going on, I was fine, plus with help from Mr. Booze, I calmed down and I realized I was really happy." He said as he put a hand on her belly.

"So...you're okay with this? Okay with me?" She said with hope.

"Winter, if I wasn't. Would I have married you?" He asked with a smile as she started crying.

"Oooooh, thank you!" She said as she hugged him close.

"What the?" WHy was she so emotional.

"Ah yes, Mr. Cotton, I should warn you, usually aura tends to amplify emotions during pregnancy even during the early stages, so your wife may experience more mood swings that others." Suddenly Jem felt himself go cold...

Very...very...cold.

"...Shit I wish that fall killed me..."


End file.
